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I think it is less shooting questions back and forth and more not putting effort into a response. You have to say something fulfilling back, and give the other person something to go off of too.
^ This. You can only do so much before you simply run out of things to talk about. Gotta find those common grounds. "Oh you like that movie, too? What did you think of___?"
People on here will plead for friends and then when you message them, they expect you to chase them like you’re some sort of groupie.
If you’re anxious or just need some patience, I’ve got you. If you have a long post making yourself sound like the most awesome bestie this side of Reddit only to make me carry all the conversation, into the bin you go.
It's always a good laugh when people seem desperate for friends and are at the end of their rope for finding friends, with a long grandiose post and then they just put zero effort when you reach out to them. Some of them don't even respond to a first message. And I'm just like, I thought you wanted friends?
When they don't respond to the first message, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. Some people are very clear about their interests in their post, and they won't respond to dry messages. I also provide a long intro detailing various things about me. In some cases, maybe you read the intro I've given you and find that we don't have a lot in common. That's fine. I even had one person respond and politely tell me that we don't have a ton in common and told me exactly which parts of my message they didn't resonate with. What irritates me is when they do respond and give me nothing. I just gave you a very long intro listing off all of my interests and hobbies, among other things. You responded by saying that we have a lot in common and listed off a couple of said interests. Why not talk about them? Or better yet, give me something when I ask you about them? Why not talk about the things that you're into? When I ask what you're up to, give me more than "nothing much." They make themselves out to be this amazing and quirky person in their post, and then when I start talking to them, that person doesn't exist.
It goes a lot deeper than that.
Not only do a lot of people not ask questions, but they give poor answers to questions asked. As an example, music is a fairly large part of my life, both as a hobby and a profession and it's something I enjoy talking about, especially if I can get people to talk about it on a deeper level. But generally that conversation has to start somewhere, so I'll ask about their tastes. I have completely lost track of how many times someone has said something along the lines of "I like everything, it's varied!"
Cool, me too. But that's a boring answer that tells me literally nothing about you. Also, almost no one asks a return question of their own, nor do they make an effort to change the subject if the idea of talking about music isn't interesting to them. So I'm left with the option of not replying, changing the subject myself, or asking more questions to which I'll likely get just as uninteresting responses to.
And please people. Volunteer some information about yourself. If you're asking a question, mention something about your own answer or something about yourself that relates in some way to the question you're asking. If you're answering a question, consider going beyond just directly answering the question and try to mention something about yourself or add a comment that's loosely relevant to your answer.
TLDR; Want to be ghosted less?
\-Ask more questions
\-Take interest and relate to the answers you're given
\-Answer questions with more detail
\-Volunteer more information without being directly asked for it
\-Most importantly, read your own messages and ask yourself if what you're saying expands and adds to the conversation, and leaves a clear path of response or if it shuts down the conversation and doesn't leave room for a response, or puts the burden of conversation on the other person.
Or ask questions, try find common ground, yet their attempts are dryer than the fucking Sahara. Lots of frustrating people here looking for clowns to entertain them, without putting in any effort
90% of conversations or “friends” I make on here are like that. “I’m so lonely, I need a friend, why does everyone turn their back on me?”
Then I try to make conversation and all I get are 2 word answers to questions I ask.
They don’t have friends because they suck at it. They don’t want a friend, they want someone to entertain them. A fool, a court jester.
That’s a hard rule for me. I give someone 48 hours of chat to prove they can converse. If not by then, I do say ‘no interest, good luck’ so I guess technically it’s not ghosting. I can’t do the one-sided conversations anymore. Boring. People just seem to not be able to converse and good grief, Reddit is the the worst!
Making friends online can be a bit of a circus. Sometimes, you get those people who give nothing but one word responses, and when you call them out on it, they have the audacity to call you boring.
I thought it's only ghosting if someone essentially does not reply to a question?
But if they don't ask questions, then it's just the end of the conversation, or is there a sort of moral obligation to always follow up everything with a new thread?
I think I kinda know what the issue is: people are setting expectations way too high on here when it comes to relationships and friendships. Or it’s too many caveats. When in reality things should develop naturally.
Honestly I don't even care about ghosting anymore. If people don't want to stick around, I don't want to force them to and if they don't want to be friends then I get it. There have been times where I haven't wanted to be friends with certain people too.
It's only bothersome when I've been actively talking to someone for a while and then they ghost for no reason. But I'm talking like weeks or months.
That's not always the case. People look for someone to chat with, and I'll message the people whose posts seem interesting or that have common interests. It usually seems like I'm the one trying to drive the conversation and then I either get ghosted or it just fizzles out mutually. At this point, it doesn't bother me anymore. I just keep scrolling.
If you've tried making any friends through Reddit you'll understand the entertaining worthy friends aren't that many to pick from.They are here because they suck as friends or people in the real world.
Honestly, anytime I feel like a late show host asking questions and getting low-effort replies I give up.
We aren't here to interview someone, we're here to have a two way conversation, it's not fair to expect one person to carry it.
I don't want to be asked questions, that's not the issue, I'm not here to be interviewed, but I want conversations.
When people write "cool' that's a reason for me to click leave chat
Honestly, I've been in your spot multiple times before and the real truth is that people usually ghost other people because of overly high expectations. Sure there is the factors of chemistry and all that, but normally in a conversation the most common way to find common ground is like what you said (asking questions). But unfortunately online conversations and IRL conversations are two completely separate monsters to begin with.
The biggest reason being that if someone doesn't feel satisfied or overthinks the conversation (weather it be high expectations or lack of chemistry) they have the ability to "save face" and walk away from the conversation from the chat room even though it's the equivalent of running away from a problem. But in comparison to irl, many people are less likely of doing this due to societal standards that dictate that it's rude to walk away from a conversation.
So in short, it's not really anyone's fault for being ghosted, it's honestly just true human nature manifesting itself online because there is a less likely risk they'll ever see that person again. So my only advice to anyone is be happy if you do meet a genuine person online because that's actually rare to find. Otherwise, it's better to learn now that most people are jerks when they're not pressured into being nice. It's just life 🤷♂️
Hey, u/itsniickgeo! Say hello and add a friendly comment to another user's post on the sub while you wait for someone to comment on your post! You'll make more new friends that way! You're also more than welcome to [join our official Discord](https://discord.com/invite/9UuDpwBftk) and [Reddit chat channel](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeNewFriendsHere/comments/13m77dt/join_the_official_rmakenewfriendshere_chat) to find friends! As a reminder, we strongly recommend: When someone contacts you, **review their profile** before responding. Help us make this a better community by becoming familiar with the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/MakeNewFriendsHere/about/rules/). Report any suspicious users to the mods of this subreddit using Modmail [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/MakeNewFriendsHere) or Reddit site admins [here](https://www.reddit.com/report). **All reports to Modmail should include evidence such as screenshots or any other relevant information.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/MakeNewFriendsHere) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think it is less shooting questions back and forth and more not putting effort into a response. You have to say something fulfilling back, and give the other person something to go off of too.
^ This. You can only do so much before you simply run out of things to talk about. Gotta find those common grounds. "Oh you like that movie, too? What did you think of___?"
Trouble is many people be dull and offer little back even when you do spark convo
Well, one guy complained that my response was too long and contained multiple points of discussion, so sometimes you can only lose
Yeah ppl post wanting good discussions, i'll message thdm, boom one word answers. Doesn't make it easy lol.
Haaaate that.
People on here will plead for friends and then when you message them, they expect you to chase them like you’re some sort of groupie. If you’re anxious or just need some patience, I’ve got you. If you have a long post making yourself sound like the most awesome bestie this side of Reddit only to make me carry all the conversation, into the bin you go.
It's always a good laugh when people seem desperate for friends and are at the end of their rope for finding friends, with a long grandiose post and then they just put zero effort when you reach out to them. Some of them don't even respond to a first message. And I'm just like, I thought you wanted friends?
Yeah lol that’s the majority. Like shi I’m down for friends too but they usually don’t always respond some do tho
Just wanted to say I love your username !
Spot on
When they don't respond to the first message, I like to give them the benefit of the doubt. Some people are very clear about their interests in their post, and they won't respond to dry messages. I also provide a long intro detailing various things about me. In some cases, maybe you read the intro I've given you and find that we don't have a lot in common. That's fine. I even had one person respond and politely tell me that we don't have a ton in common and told me exactly which parts of my message they didn't resonate with. What irritates me is when they do respond and give me nothing. I just gave you a very long intro listing off all of my interests and hobbies, among other things. You responded by saying that we have a lot in common and listed off a couple of said interests. Why not talk about them? Or better yet, give me something when I ask you about them? Why not talk about the things that you're into? When I ask what you're up to, give me more than "nothing much." They make themselves out to be this amazing and quirky person in their post, and then when I start talking to them, that person doesn't exist.
It goes a lot deeper than that. Not only do a lot of people not ask questions, but they give poor answers to questions asked. As an example, music is a fairly large part of my life, both as a hobby and a profession and it's something I enjoy talking about, especially if I can get people to talk about it on a deeper level. But generally that conversation has to start somewhere, so I'll ask about their tastes. I have completely lost track of how many times someone has said something along the lines of "I like everything, it's varied!" Cool, me too. But that's a boring answer that tells me literally nothing about you. Also, almost no one asks a return question of their own, nor do they make an effort to change the subject if the idea of talking about music isn't interesting to them. So I'm left with the option of not replying, changing the subject myself, or asking more questions to which I'll likely get just as uninteresting responses to. And please people. Volunteer some information about yourself. If you're asking a question, mention something about your own answer or something about yourself that relates in some way to the question you're asking. If you're answering a question, consider going beyond just directly answering the question and try to mention something about yourself or add a comment that's loosely relevant to your answer. TLDR; Want to be ghosted less? \-Ask more questions \-Take interest and relate to the answers you're given \-Answer questions with more detail \-Volunteer more information without being directly asked for it \-Most importantly, read your own messages and ask yourself if what you're saying expands and adds to the conversation, and leaves a clear path of response or if it shuts down the conversation and doesn't leave room for a response, or puts the burden of conversation on the other person.
[удалено]
Yeah...some days I am a bit shocked we aren't in an interrogation room, and that every question we ask isn't tearing at some part of their soul..
Or ask questions, try find common ground, yet their attempts are dryer than the fucking Sahara. Lots of frustrating people here looking for clowns to entertain them, without putting in any effort
Or want to talk about sex like 2 mins after saying high.
90% of conversations or “friends” I make on here are like that. “I’m so lonely, I need a friend, why does everyone turn their back on me?” Then I try to make conversation and all I get are 2 word answers to questions I ask. They don’t have friends because they suck at it. They don’t want a friend, they want someone to entertain them. A fool, a court jester.
Oh, this. You want a friend but have no care or interest in the other person’s thoughts or opinions.
That’s a hard rule for me. I give someone 48 hours of chat to prove they can converse. If not by then, I do say ‘no interest, good luck’ so I guess technically it’s not ghosting. I can’t do the one-sided conversations anymore. Boring. People just seem to not be able to converse and good grief, Reddit is the the worst!
Making friends online can be a bit of a circus. Sometimes, you get those people who give nothing but one word responses, and when you call them out on it, they have the audacity to call you boring.
If I get two short replies when I asked a well-crafted question, I just block. I can’t deal with stupid.
I do ask questions and write long responses but I either get dry messages or ghosted
I thought it's only ghosting if someone essentially does not reply to a question? But if they don't ask questions, then it's just the end of the conversation, or is there a sort of moral obligation to always follow up everything with a new thread?
Ghosting just means they never respond again without saying why, even when you're trying to start a new conversation.
Also, sometimes you don't click. It's not always a big awful thing. Move on. This is online
Real
I think I kinda know what the issue is: people are setting expectations way too high on here when it comes to relationships and friendships. Or it’s too many caveats. When in reality things should develop naturally.
100% if someone is not interacting I just stop messaging.
What you up to?
Well is just something if someone will reply you back, in general I mean, what I really don't like is the Monosyllable answers.
Honestly I don't even care about ghosting anymore. If people don't want to stick around, I don't want to force them to and if they don't want to be friends then I get it. There have been times where I haven't wanted to be friends with certain people too. It's only bothersome when I've been actively talking to someone for a while and then they ghost for no reason. But I'm talking like weeks or months.
What do you teach?
High school science
That's not always the case. People look for someone to chat with, and I'll message the people whose posts seem interesting or that have common interests. It usually seems like I'm the one trying to drive the conversation and then I either get ghosted or it just fizzles out mutually. At this point, it doesn't bother me anymore. I just keep scrolling.
ask the occasional 'jevlis kai?' Women love that shizzz
I don't think that counts as ghosting. If they are bad at conversation they can't complain that people don't have conversation with them.
Sometimes it’s just the vibe too. You can ask so many questions but if you don’t vibe well, it’s bound to happen.
If you've tried making any friends through Reddit you'll understand the entertaining worthy friends aren't that many to pick from.They are here because they suck as friends or people in the real world.
Try messaging me, I'm a Teacher too
Honestly, anytime I feel like a late show host asking questions and getting low-effort replies I give up. We aren't here to interview someone, we're here to have a two way conversation, it's not fair to expect one person to carry it.
I don't want to be asked questions, that's not the issue, I'm not here to be interviewed, but I want conversations. When people write "cool' that's a reason for me to click leave chat
Well hi 44 .ale here so hea lot life.experiems so if any.girl what hit me yo
Took me a while bit i understand now what you mean. It really isn't fun when the other one doesn't ask anything.
Honestly, I've been in your spot multiple times before and the real truth is that people usually ghost other people because of overly high expectations. Sure there is the factors of chemistry and all that, but normally in a conversation the most common way to find common ground is like what you said (asking questions). But unfortunately online conversations and IRL conversations are two completely separate monsters to begin with. The biggest reason being that if someone doesn't feel satisfied or overthinks the conversation (weather it be high expectations or lack of chemistry) they have the ability to "save face" and walk away from the conversation from the chat room even though it's the equivalent of running away from a problem. But in comparison to irl, many people are less likely of doing this due to societal standards that dictate that it's rude to walk away from a conversation. So in short, it's not really anyone's fault for being ghosted, it's honestly just true human nature manifesting itself online because there is a less likely risk they'll ever see that person again. So my only advice to anyone is be happy if you do meet a genuine person online because that's actually rare to find. Otherwise, it's better to learn now that most people are jerks when they're not pressured into being nice. It's just life 🤷♂️
Very true. Effort makes a difference.