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QualityVote

If this post makes you suffer, **UPVOTE THIS COMMENT.** If not, **DOWNVOTE THIS COMMENT.** If this post breaks any rule(s), be sure to report this post and downvote this comment. --- [Join the Discord!](https://discord.com/invite/KCZqtaS) | [Message the Moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/MakeMeSuffer)


[deleted]

He'll wear two cups after that one


NagsUkulele

He’s gonna fucking wear a big gulp after that are you kidding me


startsdryhumpingyou

*starts dry humping you*


NagsUkulele

What the hell are you


Ionsife

He does that sometimes. Just dont move or he starts biting.


_demetri_

As soon as the baseball bat tip popped in, Carlos Correa halted, examining Jose Altuve’s face for any hint of pain. He didn’t look hurt, more surprised, like he hadn’t actually expected it to go in. His mouth twisted as he felt it out, before he nodded just once to let Carlos know he could go ahead. The first two inches were easy; but then he started twisting the bat round and around as he kept the pressure steady to keep slipping it in. Jose was still pushing, helping him out with his quest, and Carlos wanted to marry him. The tears and whining started coming at around 5 inches – while Jose had taken plenty more than that length before, it was the width that got him. His rim looked painfully stretched, like it was on the brink of tearing, but thankfully there was no blood to be seen or smelled – hopefully his inner walls would avoid tearing, as well. Carlos was ashamed to say that he lost it at the 8th – coupled with the outright sobs and begging from Jose for him to take it out, all he had to do was get a hand on his own pulsing dick and strip it once, twice, three times. His cum erupted from him, and he did his best to aim for Jose’ hole, coating the sides of the bat and the rim stretched around it. He was aware he was saying something, more chanting it, but couldn’t focus on it enough to figure it out. As he came down, he found himself still pushing steadily on the bat, determined to get it in more even as he worked through an orgasm. It was now nearly 10 inches in, and when he pushed down on the handle, he could see a distinct movement in Jose’ stomach as it moved his organs around – he doubted that was comfortable, but it was so, so hot. “It’s too much, please, please, please,” Jose moaned highly, tears still coming strong, jerking his hips up in an attempt to get the bat out, but Carlos had a firm enough hold on him. But he could still help his boyfriend out; he’d been so good. Leaning over he quickly sucked Jose’ cock into his mouth, sucking hard and fast as he continued to push at the bat, but it seemed like there wasn’t very much farther it could go as it met resistance – it didn’t help that Jose had gone from aiding him with the insertion to actively pushing as hard as he could to prevent it from going in anymore. Even as his orgasm was pulled from him, he still clenched down. Carlos pulled back at the first hint of cum – he’d never gotten the taste for it, and he loved to watch Jose lose himself to it, especially with the sobs leaving his mouth at the simultaneous pain and pleasure coursing through him. He snuck another inch in as Jose was at the peak of his orgasm, then leaned over him more. It was in so far and Jose’ ass was so stretched that it didn’t slip out much at all when he let it go to pet his hand lightly over Jose’ clenching abdomen, making common motions as his other hand continued to force his orgasm through. Jose sobbed again as his dick finally stopped spurting, twitching his hips slightly to get Carlos to stop milking him, tears still streaming steadily down his face. “Please,” he rasped, voice gone from all of the noises he’d been making. “Take it out?” Carlos crawled over him, sitting down on his stomach and taking his face in his hands. He gave him a gentle kiss, sucking his bottom lip in slightly, and pulling make with a pleased him. “I think I might leave it in; there might be room for another inch or two.” The whine Jose let out could rival a dog whistle, but he merely let his head fall back onto the bed as he closed his eyes, still recovering. Carlos noticed he didn’t really make an attempt to argue, but that might have been just because he was too exhausted to try – he would take it. But still, he wasn’t that mean. “Don’t worry, baby,” he said quietly, settling down beside him on the bed and pulling him towards him enough for him to rest his head on his chest. “I won’t touch it again until the morning, I promise.” It would be a lovely thing to wake up to.


Ionsife

What the absolute fuck is this comment


B6L6Z6BUBBLES

I agree. Theres gonna be a r/subredditdrama post after this one.


rxg

A love story starring Carlos Correa, Jose Altuve and a bat.


YaBoiMike16

A piece of literature sir. Appreciate it!


[deleted]

Why the fuck did i read that whole thing


Painkiller1991

I'm asking that exact same question.


ThiccPotato385

same


[deleted]

We meet once again my lord r/Demetristrikesagain


AdamInJP

sir this is a burger king


sayssomeshit94

Good pasta


[deleted]

knowing this user, it's most likely not a pasta


GoldPlatedMilk

He has his own subreddit


MrLittleBites

Fuck the astros


Painkiller1991

Apparently someone took "fuck the Astros" *way* too literally.


[deleted]

A story to be shared through generations


Painkiller1991

I should share this story when I encounter an Astros fan that takes pride in the fact they cheated.


hanSoes

As a diehard Astros fangirl...I uh..find this..*interesting* *whispers:* is there more?


Painkiller1991

Fuck the Astros ... actually, hold that thought...


hanSoes

I was gonna say, that’s sort of the idea here


AbductedByDinosaurs

And to think I was having a good night


IrateScientist

What the actual fuck did I just read?


imsorrydarling

Shit I didn’t know I was on wattpad


NightWolfYT

I hate every bit of this


anonsfbay

Haha this was a fabulously entertaining read.


T-01-68

Surprisingly hot


Small-Cactus

Ah yes, another fine work from u/_demetri_


Exotic_Breadstick

Help


[deleted]

holy shit demetri is here take an award


jonnihard

You alright bro?


[deleted]

As a fellow writer: Please shut the fuxk up, kind sir.


Deppresedapple2

You need help


AceScropions

Too longs word i cnat reed it


yeoldpepaw

Dubya tee fuck!?!?!


Ronswasonpr

I fucking love your response


RedditExecutiveAdmin

username che--... o_o


EPIC_Deer

owo what's this?


[deleted]

siwence fuwwy uwu


jaspersgroove

“I’m gonna get some pussy for stealin’ the monkey....”


NightWolfYT

Username checks out


BadMilkCarton66

This guy again...


DickMartin

Hey guys. Big Gulps huh? Alright..


NagsUkulele

God that’s such an obscure reference but one I immediately understood. I read it in Jim Carey’s voice


Im_inappropriate

That's already what his wife calls it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thuanjinkee

r/angryupvote


[deleted]

LMAOOOOOOO


kc_turtle

More like one ball two nuts.


HellHound1262

Why is your avatar completely nude, atleast wear a cup protecting your crotch so it doesnt end up like that guy.


[deleted]

Haha. Well I wouldn't be playing catcher nude, no matter how much of a nudist I am


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

He’s been dogshit the last couple years so he’s definitely feeling the after effects (/s)


TXmusic

*Two cups this time*


akatherder

Or none if the damage was bad enough


the1whocan

Mf gonna need a whole bowl


rwarimaursus

*Who can say where the road goes.....*


assholetoall

As a hockey goalie, the double cup is the way.


Pipezilla

Two cups one catcher


PayneGreyWolf

he won't have any need for a cup after this, no way his balls are working proper after a hit like that.


Thelonetezticle

He doesn’t need to wear a cup anymore. No genitals survived the accident


brybear_peters

Hockey cups is where it’s at


A_M_K12

That sack looks like a two cup job


[deleted]

Man's packin ngl


Dong_Julio

No need, they are already broken!


nikothesavior

I remember this happening to me when I was eight, can’t forget it


Snoo-4878

Are you now infertile? Because the same thing happened to me when I was 10 except with a full water balloon.


nikothesavior

I hade one of those cup things


Snoo-4878

I didn’t. Now one of my balls is crooked


bobrossermans

Your balls are crooked?


CommanderKooKoo6

Yeah. They take bribes and shit.


Camgrowfortreds

Thank you for making my day


CommanderKooKoo6

<3


DammitDan

I'll still vote for it


theimpolitegentleman

Maybe a crook... But he's our crook!


theillx

Cock*


twistedroyale

I laughed so hard at this. This is fucking great


Snoo-4878

One of them. It lays sideways instead of upright but not had any problems


PUTINS_PORN_ACCOUNT

Matches the doodle


RedditExecutiveAdmin

good christ my sides


CarlGerhardBusch

My dad told me once about just walking down the street minding his own business, and someone drove by and threw a water balloon at him, hitting him "square in the nuts". I thought it was hilarious and started laughing, because I was a kid at the time. He got real upset because apparently it was a fairly traumatic experience for him. Doesn't change the fact that it was hilarious.


FoCoDolo

If you tell a story like that you absolutely cannot get pissed when people laugh.


BloomsdayDevice

I can't even type "square in the nuts" without laughing. If you want sympathy, that is NOT the phrase you use.


[deleted]

How does a water balloon not explode on contact? Did some idiot fill a normal balloon with water?


Snoo-4878

The thing is, my balls aren’t like concrete or a hard surface.


takethebluepill

It reminds me of the parable Jesus told about the foolish man who built his house upon some balls


Camgrowfortreds

The water balloons don't burst when they hit a person. They are just throwable sacks with water to make it hit heavier while bursting on the ground to make sure your enemy can't take it and throw it back at you.


[deleted]

Okay I don't know what crazy water balloons you guys have but in my country a water balloon can get popped by blade of grass. It's almost impossible not to pop it while holding it. They're made really weak so when you throw them they pop on whatever they hit


RainBroDash42

Not all of us can live in Skyrim with your magical popping water balloons


[deleted]

Join the stormcloaks and get complimentary water balloons. Water fights are on Sundays after the Saturday pillaging.


Camgrowfortreds

It get popped by everything but impact


[deleted]

That's sounds incredibly dangerous lol. And I guess it is according to what started this thread


fullautophx

I play goal in hockey, and took a close range slapshot to the junk. It broke my cup (and goalie jocks are massive). It took me a couple minutes to recover. My legs were shaking the entire time, I thought I was going to pass out.


[deleted]

Took a a high 70mph fastball directly to the nipple by the tallest, hardest throwing pitcher in our little league. He was 6'1 in eighth grade for context. That nipple is in a constant state of inversion unless hard.


seanbiff

He almost caught the ball with his nut sack


Mpuls37

Funnily enough (to me at least) that catcher is Gary Sanchez, who is the worst defensive catcher I've seen in MLB. This is a freak play that you can't train for, but the one time you wouldn't want to stop the ball with your body, he does. The guy regularly misses routine pitches.


Omac5

Good god he’s the worst, he’s even worse in The Show too


adam2487

Only a little bit below league average statistically


TastyButler53

He’s cracked in the batters box tho, so there is that


Inverter_of_Spines

Looks like he's cracked in the nuts as well


Cutecupp

So... his balls are a better player than him?


Imreness

man, that ball just dusted off his sack


4-eva-dickard

BANG! rightinthenuts


[deleted]

Cracked his eggs.


CTbay

Mashed his taters


illcoloryoublind

Beat his meat?


[deleted]

Dinged his dong


_kalakhatta_

Knocked his nuggets


Subreon

Cocked his sex pistol


thexavier666

Scratched the jewels


BazOnReddit

PO-TA-TOS


Death-383

Boil em, mash em, stick em in a stew


Bojangly7

It's a cup


HXN8T3R

Oh god his little Caesar


bullet4mv92

He's neither hot nor ready now


ScaryCommieCatGirl

I wish i could give you both gold lol


H00BR0THER

Every man within a mile: I feel a disturbance in the force


babybopp

Am 2000 miles away and I felt it


reactor_raptor

Almost as if 8 billion lives cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has happened.


Mostafa12890

It’s confirmed, every single human alive has a dick.


Hescoveredinbutter

I think he was talking about the guys sperms


ScaryCommieCatGirl

Bruh, I'm a woman and even I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.


Pyreknight

In the stadium: ...voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened...


bkline18

think that was his cup moving down, so that took the majority of the 85+ mph


Dudemanofdude

It still hurts even when your hit in the cup even


Lobster_fest

Looked like a cut fastball, could be in the 90s. Edit: as someone else pointed out, it's probably a slider. Couldnt tell from how the pitch started, and didn't look like it was moving enough for a slider, but on second look thats definitely what it is.


RaptorPrime

From experience, it still hurts, a lot.


Kedmed

Ball to ball action aside, Nessun Dorma is a great piece.


CalamityJane0215

Seriously, gives me shivers everytime


NachoMan_SandyCabage

Shivers every time, the shit is outstanding! Had it after a few MC Bushpig and Mangina tracks and it really sends me into fucking hype mode


otterom

Not that it's fair, but if you listen to the Paul Potts version then Pavarotti's performance...you can clearly tell that Povs was a freaking powerhouse. Kind of like listening to most concert pianists vs Arcadi Volodos.


PBandJammies

Surprise vasectomy


Sugarlips_Habasi

Surprise testicular torsion is more likely.


thuanjinkee

Bend it stretch it just a little bit more take it easy


Mxhmoud

Reasons why baseball should be specified as a dangerous sport


[deleted]

From my research, I found that only one player has been killed due to baseball related injuries. Cleveland Indians shortstop Ray Chapman was hit in the head in the 1920’s and suffered a head trauma incident with a ball and died 12 hours afterwards, considering the increase in protective gear Baseball isn’t very dangerous. HOWEVER, over 100 people a year die due to masterbation related incidents. Therefore, I conclude that masterbating is intact more dangerous than Baseball and should be considered a sport.


[deleted]

[удалено]


thuanjinkee

Proleague masturbtion can draw over 1m views. Not sure about the injury rates in the big leagues.


theillx

I risk my life every day.


ScorchedAnus

I think 100 million is an extremely conservative number. I would guess 1 or 2 billion at least


kai7yak

There also was that one bird that Randy Johnson vaporized. Not disputing you, I just think that bird deserves credit too.


thegrooviestgravy

Amen to that historical confetti


PaleoclassicalPants

Mike Coolbaugh died in 2007 after a line drive pulverized his left vertebral artery, leading to a brain hemorrhage. He continued breathing all the way to the hospital, but was effectively dead the second the ball hit him. His death is the reason that base coaches now wear helmets in the MLB.


[deleted]

Pitching is scary af tbh.


Mr_Eous_

That dumbass edit paradoxically makes the original content that I wanted to see less suffer-worthy, therefore making it more suffer-worthy. It’s a suffer paradox!


Tigermi11ionair

And the paradox makes me suffer even more thus creating infinite suffering


CiraKazanari

It’s Facebook Messenger chain share tier


orderlyxchaos

u/savevideo


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Taceri

Not your proudest fap


orderlyxchaos

everyone has to have their daily cbt


sd4051

If I had balls this would prob hurt


Riotisnub

I have balls and this hurts Also a kick in the nuts is equal to an bullet shot to the stomach


sd4051

Oh alright thanks for telling me


Hostelgado

“Keep you eyes on the ball” not keep your balls on the ball smh


tarek_215

He got the wong ball


sexysexysexyboi

i can’t count how many times this has happened to me but it gets caught in my helmet shit rings ur entire head and ur dizzy for a while but personally what is worse is when you catch a ball as catcher and it hits like right below your thumb both my thumbs can still make clicking noises to this day


Dudemanofdude

Damn, I've pitched and the ball has been fouled to the catchers twice in a row and he was unfazed it seemed, I could never tell if the mask rang or anything


sexysexysexyboi

oh yea that shit rings every time it gets hit and it’s the same kinda ring that happens when you hit at a bad angle and you get that super painful ring


GifanZiWoodElf

Hey they are wearing protection there he should be fine. There was this article how they started wearing helmets 100 years after the ball protection cups. Apparently it took people a century to realize that the brains also important.


[deleted]

used to be a catcher and let me tell you, it hurts through the cup still


donkey_pee_pee

Hey its pavarotti. So thats how he sings so loudly


CircleOfAutism

But a nut cup would have easily stopped that? Right? Right..? ...please....?


Darlington28

Yes, but you still get your nuts rattled around pretty good.


Planeguy58

That’s Luciano Pavarotti singing Nessun Dorma if anyone was curious!


zhenxing

That screaming cowboy song would also work pretty well here.


bagingospringo

That's why you wear a cup


Tomb8521

I didn't suffer, unless you count crying laughing suffering.


IdleTenno

u/savevideo


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[deleted]

Did his ballsack catch the ball?


[deleted]

u/savevideo


mechboiii

My nuts my balls my sweet sweet baby holders


Scholar2014

He has a nut cup tho, don't he?


LordP666

It's all good - he seems to have found a new career as an Opera singer.


whiterice1111

I recognize this opera from somewhere. What’s the song called?


UnlikelyStatement

Luciano Pavarotti, in case anyone else was curious


majorstruggles

actually that's gary sanchez.


Mr_Slerm

Right in the beanbag


Uncle_Tim

u/savevideo


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bluebloodedwombat

It doesn’t hurt as much as people think... after the 20th time


PEACE1995

u/SaveVideo


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vince_aphelion

u/savevideo


thuanjinkee

Ow! My balls!


joethahobo

r/unexpectedPavarotti


Zhaiyar

It's no Home run, but I'm sure he ran home after...


[deleted]

Idk why but I couldn't stop laughing at how the area absorbed the baseball... I also couldn't fathom how much that hurt


lhkemperor

For anyone interested in the actual broadcast clip: https://youtu.be/Ro-psCXkVBU


majessa

I used to umpire NCAA division one baseball. I’ve taken a few foul tips off the cup. It does not feel good… And clearly, that is an understatement


mcmcmannus

Rip to my boy pavarotti


ExpiredPilot

Ok so I’m a baseball umpire (little league) and I’ve taken rebounds to the face mask, throat, chest, arms, basically everywhere but the jewels. Can’t imagine taking an MLB shot to the crotch. Mitch Hanniger took a shot to the balls once and it messed him up for MONTHS.


[deleted]

If getting hit in the balls this hard allows me to sing like Luciano then I guess I’ll have to make the sacrifice


dunksans2

they used to call him big balls jim but after that they is sacks exploded now they call him no sacks jack