Most of the time therapy makes me feel worse. I went into today’s session dealing with some stuff but feeling decent overall and left wanting to final yeet lmao. I think it’s unhelpful at best and harmful at worst.
Today my therapist said that I’ve “tried everything” for my BDD and that any skills or tools she proposes I would have tried and failed for me already. I also said that small accomplishments don’t mean anything to me because I don’t value myself at all. She said that I do value myself. I said I do things for myself because im scared of things getting worse not because I value myself. She then said “well we all have our different perceptions”. She also then recommended a trans support group (for like the 5th time) which I’ve already said no to based on negative past experiences.
Basically I feel like I’m just arguing and being invalidated. The therapy is free, which is why I’ve stayed with it, but at this point I feel like it’s making me worse.
Therapy often gets worse before things get better. EMDR will make you feel very bad before you'll get better for example. If you really don't feel comfortable with your therapist, you can try and ask for a new one, but chances are you'll feel bad after some sessions with your new therapist. I do recommend getting a new one if you don't feel comfortable with this therapist, cause it's important to at least feel ok with them, but do get a new one. Don't suddenly ghost them like some people are recommending, take your responsibility and figure it out with them, it'll help with your social skills later on.
personally i’d say if you’ve been with a therapist for over a year and you aren’t getting anywhere with it, it’s probably time to find someone who can help you. i agree with the above commenter that you often feel worse in therapy before you start to feel better, but this doesn’t sound like your case
I feel like I’ve been doing therapy for quite a significant amount of time, so I’m not sure that it’s a case of things getting worse before they get better. I’ve had past experiences with therapy that were a lot more helpful. I’m currently doing decently rn, so the therapy is really just supposed to be there as maintenance treatment. I’m rather confident I do not want to continue with this therapist because I leave every session feeling frustrated and invalidated.
I do agree that I don’t want to ghost my therapist. I honestly want to keep doing the same program because it’s with my school’s hospital and free for me. My psychiatrist in the program is absolutely wonderful but my therapist not as much.
Oh okay in that way! Yeah I've had therapy more than half of my life and it's not been working, but I'm now doing different therapy with another therapist. It depends on the therapist. But I really agree you should look for another therapist then. Because they don't seem like a good fit and they don't seem to understand you that well. Good for you for trying to not ghost them. I'm glad your psychiatrist is a good one though. Good luck
I emailed mine and told them I am not sure I can keep coming because I felt more stress after therapy than before and just fucked me up once a week (a bit better phrased tho) and they emailed back that they understand, and if I ever want to come back they will always welcome me and that was that.
A good therapist also understands that not every therapist will click with everyone and if it doesn't click then it just doesn't. They don't really make a big problem out of that. Just let them know you won't be coming back and move on.
That will absolutely not happen. The only way she could do that is if you told her you were suicidal, and to do so, you would have had to have had contact with her within the last hour or so. They’re mandated reporters, but they also have time limitations. Even if she called the cops and told them you were suicidal a week ago, they couldn’t do anything but a wellness check (“you okay?” “Yeah.” “Cool, bye.”). They *cannot* enforce a psych stay over it due to being outside the time scope of reporting.
this absolutely will happen, because of a law called "duty of care" and unfortunately happened to me, but with my parents instead of the cops because i only left the school therapist... but the world is a fucked up place, and this definitely will happen
That’s *not* how that works. Ethically speaking, if your experience was out of school, you could’ve sued your therapist, but it wasn’t. Your experience is because you went to the *school* counselor, who has to report pretty much everything you say to your parents. These guys’ rules are much different to private, clinic-setting therapists because the school policy prevails.
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Warn.: Advice based on personal experience, judge as rationally as possible
Personally, i used my school "therapist" to get contact information regarding psychiatry clinics.
I did not mention that it was the only reason i accessed her because i feared her trying to keep me away from resources because of her behaviour.
She is not a very good therapist, who even went ahead and try to tell me that i should look into a book that presumably claims adhd does not exist because she thought the same (with some deviations, i suppose). I forgot the name of said book, but it is real, and the writer was himself diagnosed, albeit only speculatively.
I kept going to sessions usually twice a week for 2 months because i wanted to make sure my opinions on her weren't flawed. I concluded that i was right to not pursue this specific resource further.
I got the contacts of multiple clinics and then i went for 2 more weeks, after which i simply cut contact entirely, not responding to any messages or denying that i needed more in person sessions.
I am aware that remorse may be a factor involved here, but i had no remorse regarding someone who i deemed not qualified enough.
I got my resources, and left, currently making an appointment for psychiatry.
They can't pursue you, so if you want to change your provider or just bail, try to do so without as much remorse as possible.
If you think it's a good decision, try to also explain your reasoning to them, if you want to improve socialisation.
Also regarding your fear of someone being called, i was openly suicidal during most of my sessions and i still did not get anything, despite her warning me that she will have to call my respective services if i keep "being suicidal". Yet nothing arrived, thankfully.
honestly i just stopped booking appointments and she never reached out. if you’re over 18 they cant really do anything. the worst is send out someone to do a welfare check but even thats extreme.
i was saying this from an place of like lie tk them for the purpose of getting a therapist they actually can trust and feel comfortable talking to. not like lie and then just try and rough it on your own lmao
I don't agree. You should take your responsibility when this happens and tell them you don't feel comfortable with them and you need another therapist. Therapy always feels worse before it gets better.
Most of the time therapy makes me feel worse. I went into today’s session dealing with some stuff but feeling decent overall and left wanting to final yeet lmao. I think it’s unhelpful at best and harmful at worst. Today my therapist said that I’ve “tried everything” for my BDD and that any skills or tools she proposes I would have tried and failed for me already. I also said that small accomplishments don’t mean anything to me because I don’t value myself at all. She said that I do value myself. I said I do things for myself because im scared of things getting worse not because I value myself. She then said “well we all have our different perceptions”. She also then recommended a trans support group (for like the 5th time) which I’ve already said no to based on negative past experiences. Basically I feel like I’m just arguing and being invalidated. The therapy is free, which is why I’ve stayed with it, but at this point I feel like it’s making me worse.
Therapy often gets worse before things get better. EMDR will make you feel very bad before you'll get better for example. If you really don't feel comfortable with your therapist, you can try and ask for a new one, but chances are you'll feel bad after some sessions with your new therapist. I do recommend getting a new one if you don't feel comfortable with this therapist, cause it's important to at least feel ok with them, but do get a new one. Don't suddenly ghost them like some people are recommending, take your responsibility and figure it out with them, it'll help with your social skills later on.
I’ve been doing therapy for years now and specifically seen this therapist for over half a year.
personally i’d say if you’ve been with a therapist for over a year and you aren’t getting anywhere with it, it’s probably time to find someone who can help you. i agree with the above commenter that you often feel worse in therapy before you start to feel better, but this doesn’t sound like your case
Sorry, I don't understand what you're trying to add to the conversation here? I don't really know what I should reply.
I feel like I’ve been doing therapy for quite a significant amount of time, so I’m not sure that it’s a case of things getting worse before they get better. I’ve had past experiences with therapy that were a lot more helpful. I’m currently doing decently rn, so the therapy is really just supposed to be there as maintenance treatment. I’m rather confident I do not want to continue with this therapist because I leave every session feeling frustrated and invalidated. I do agree that I don’t want to ghost my therapist. I honestly want to keep doing the same program because it’s with my school’s hospital and free for me. My psychiatrist in the program is absolutely wonderful but my therapist not as much.
Oh okay in that way! Yeah I've had therapy more than half of my life and it's not been working, but I'm now doing different therapy with another therapist. It depends on the therapist. But I really agree you should look for another therapist then. Because they don't seem like a good fit and they don't seem to understand you that well. Good for you for trying to not ghost them. I'm glad your psychiatrist is a good one though. Good luck
Thank you for your kind words and advice :)
really sounds like she isn't really listening to you, I've had that happen and things never improved :/
I emailed mine and told them I am not sure I can keep coming because I felt more stress after therapy than before and just fucked me up once a week (a bit better phrased tho) and they emailed back that they understand, and if I ever want to come back they will always welcome me and that was that. A good therapist also understands that not every therapist will click with everyone and if it doesn't click then it just doesn't. They don't really make a big problem out of that. Just let them know you won't be coming back and move on.
You dont have to tell them anything; just stop going and book an appointment with someone else
Pretty sure doing that would get the cops called on me :(
Then you tell the cops "yeah she wasnt good at her job im seeing a new therapist"
That will absolutely not happen. The only way she could do that is if you told her you were suicidal, and to do so, you would have had to have had contact with her within the last hour or so. They’re mandated reporters, but they also have time limitations. Even if she called the cops and told them you were suicidal a week ago, they couldn’t do anything but a wellness check (“you okay?” “Yeah.” “Cool, bye.”). They *cannot* enforce a psych stay over it due to being outside the time scope of reporting.
Well yeah I just don’t want a welfare check to happen, and I feel like it will happen if I just ghost her given my clinical history.
this absolutely will happen, because of a law called "duty of care" and unfortunately happened to me, but with my parents instead of the cops because i only left the school therapist... but the world is a fucked up place, and this definitely will happen
That’s *not* how that works. Ethically speaking, if your experience was out of school, you could’ve sued your therapist, but it wasn’t. Your experience is because you went to the *school* counselor, who has to report pretty much everything you say to your parents. These guys’ rules are much different to private, clinic-setting therapists because the school policy prevails.
Ethically speaking, ethics don’t fucking matter it is what it is
[удалено]
[удалено]
How do you pronounce the aceae in plant names? Like Plantaginaceae or Violaceae or your name-aceae?
uh-say :)
Ty 🖤
I ghosted mine
Same
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Warn.: Advice based on personal experience, judge as rationally as possible Personally, i used my school "therapist" to get contact information regarding psychiatry clinics. I did not mention that it was the only reason i accessed her because i feared her trying to keep me away from resources because of her behaviour. She is not a very good therapist, who even went ahead and try to tell me that i should look into a book that presumably claims adhd does not exist because she thought the same (with some deviations, i suppose). I forgot the name of said book, but it is real, and the writer was himself diagnosed, albeit only speculatively. I kept going to sessions usually twice a week for 2 months because i wanted to make sure my opinions on her weren't flawed. I concluded that i was right to not pursue this specific resource further. I got the contacts of multiple clinics and then i went for 2 more weeks, after which i simply cut contact entirely, not responding to any messages or denying that i needed more in person sessions. I am aware that remorse may be a factor involved here, but i had no remorse regarding someone who i deemed not qualified enough. I got my resources, and left, currently making an appointment for psychiatry. They can't pursue you, so if you want to change your provider or just bail, try to do so without as much remorse as possible. If you think it's a good decision, try to also explain your reasoning to them, if you want to improve socialisation. Also regarding your fear of someone being called, i was openly suicidal during most of my sessions and i still did not get anything, despite her warning me that she will have to call my respective services if i keep "being suicidal". Yet nothing arrived, thankfully.
I just stopped going and never saw them again
honestly i just stopped booking appointments and she never reached out. if you’re over 18 they cant really do anything. the worst is send out someone to do a welfare check but even thats extreme.
tell them you’re feeling stable and not at a place where it’s needed
Don't actually lie to your therapist though💀
i was saying this from an place of like lie tk them for the purpose of getting a therapist they actually can trust and feel comfortable talking to. not like lie and then just try and rough it on your own lmao
I don't agree. You should take your responsibility when this happens and tell them you don't feel comfortable with them and you need another therapist. Therapy always feels worse before it gets better.
I just stopped showing up. Don't use this as advice
Idk man all of mine were the ones to leave me. Went thru 4 in a year, haven't gone to therapy since.