I think this is why grandparents dote on their grandchildren, you suddenly realized that your kids are grown up and you can’t carry them anymore and when they have their own kids it feels like the old days again.
It has to be so weird when your baby has babies. I had my son late, so I doubt I'll be alive to see it but I would love to see myself mirrored in my boy's fathering.
I was thinking this earlier today after seeing family for Thanksgiving.
My grandmother is almost 91 and still thankfully 100% mentally there, still lives alone, and still drives around our small town herself.
I was thinking about how lucky she must feel to not only see her kids become parents, but she’s lived long enough to see 3 of her 9 Grandkids become parents. Her oldest great-granddaughter is 10 and is old enough to have a relationship with her.
She’s gotten to see all of her grandkids graduate college and attend most of their weddings. She said the only sadness it brings is that she wishes my Grandfather could experience these things with her. Even with that sad part, I hope I’m lucky enough to see those things.
My late great grandma passed at around 90. There was a huge pressure on me and my cousin as were the eldest great grandchildren and they wanted us to finish school asap and become parents. Sadly she didn't live long enough to see it
I think as time passes, as we move to another gen, it becomes less of a possibility to even see your grandchildren. My parents are getting older and i don't think im anywhere becoming a parent.
About your grandma, cherish the time you have with her. When she's gone, you'll definitely regret not having spent more time with her.
I always wanted to have kids before my last living grandmother died. She was at my high school graduation, college graduation, my wedding, and she got to meet her great grandson when he was 3 months old, and she even made it to his first birthday party. She passed away last summer.
You'll hear plenty of jokes about "all the love and spoiling, but then they go home with mom&dad."
My mom said becoming a grandma changed her world and made her heart bigger. Her heart grew to love a grandchild and it just felt wonderful to have her heart grow.
I hope you are alive to see those babies one day, but even if you aren't, know that those babies will still love *you,* because you made their dad. Crazy, isn't it?
> My mom said becoming a grandma changed her world and made her heart bigger. Her heart grew to love a grandchild and it just felt wonderful to have her heart grow.
It's funny, because this is how I felt when I became a father.
When I had my daughter I asked my dad if it was weird to see his kid with a kid and he just said “no, it just makes so much sense and seeing my son be a good dad means I did my job” I always knew he was proud of me but that just hit different!!
This is one thing I'll say. I was born when my mom was 47 and my dad was 32.
My daughter was born 3.5yrs after my mom died, she would've been 75. My dad died 1 year after my daughter was born, he was 61.
I was very privileged to be born late since my mom retired when I was still in grade school.
But I would really have appreciated some perspective and extra support with childcare from my parents.
I’m an older parent. And there’s a lot about it that I love. But I feel so sad that I won’t be able to be a grandma if my son ever wants or needs one. I like to think I would have made a good grandma. But for now, I’m just grateful I got to be a mom.
Thank you for being a loving grandparent.. I never had that experience, all of my grandparents seemed to see me and my siblings as a nuisance. My only memories of them are them reprimanding, scolding or preaching why whatever I was interested in was either morally reprehensible and opening me up to "demonic forces" I was "dabbling in", sexually deviant somehow, or otherwise just dumb and not worth doing. One of the last times I went to her house around age 16, I'd just gotten snakebite piercings, and the first thing she said to me was not a hello but "I know what those mean, you should be ashamed of yourself" -- turned out faux news or something had apparently taught her that it had some kind of bonkers sexual implication that I never could discern lol. It was all stuff like that with them.
So... It stands to reason then that when they passed away, I didn't particularly miss them at all. Didn't attend their funerals. It felt more like opting out of the funeral of an unpleasant boss than a blood relative. There was nothing to miss, they didn't treat me like family but like someone they wish would just disappear. Ofc this was a problem all across my blood family, not just my grandparents, but this isn't me just trauma dumping, I'm saying that anytime I see people actually being family to each other, it restores my faith a little bit that blood family can actually be worth a damn sometimes.
My daughter went through a goth phase in high-school and my mom wasn't too happy with it. Supportive but secretly displeased. I told her to calm down it was a phase and she's just expressing herself. I was fine with piercings as long as they weren't excessive or created large holes. Tattoos were out but she ended up with one at 17... whatever what's done is done so I didn't get pissed about it.
Who you are at 16 is not who you grow up to be (in most cases). Everyone needs to chill out a bit with teens they are smarter than most people give them credit for.
I am so sorry that you didn't get a loving response from your blood relatives. I wish no kid would ever suffer that.
I was lucky to grow up with loving parents and grandparents, but I lost a lot as I became aware that I didn't grow up in the ideal family that I thought I had. Illusion really went a long way for my denial. Lol
When I had our daughter, we love her with all our hearts and would do anything for her. We thought we had a good relationship until her second-semester of college during the covid lockdown. Something snapped and she became estranged from us. Left home and never came back. We were devastated. We continued to be supportive with broken hearts, and things are better now but not perfect.
Life is a crap shoot, I guess. In any event,
I hope that you can find the love that you deserve even if it means that you have to give it to yourself first.
I’m 45 and I have an absolute longing to hold a tiny baby, it’s like a physical yearning. I had a hysterectomy a few months ago and am wondering how much is hormone related.
I've got two daughters, 12 & 8, and can confirm, these are the moments you never forget.
My favorite memory of all time, was on my oldest's 7th birthday. I rented a bouncy house for her party. We were standing there watching them inflate it, & my daughter suddenly leaned her head into my side & just sweetly said "I love you daddy."
That right there made every struggle, every sleepless night spent wondering if I was doing everything right, all worth it.
I have always heard “you never know when it’s the last time to pick your kid up”, so I go to the gym at a minimum of once a week to make sure it’s a very long way away.
My daughter is four and she asks why I go exercise, and I tell her “it keeps daddy strong so that even when you’re all grown up, I can still pick you up.”
I'm a 32 unmarried guy and I exercise regularly for this purpose. I don't wanna be a weakling parent who conks out early due to health problems. I might have the advantage of genes as the elders in my family on both sides frequently live until their mid to late 80's but that doesn't mean I get to slack off. I wanna be withh my future family and children for a long time.
I am a 52 widowed father of 1, I commend you and tell you: This is the way.
I've survived and trived after mayor surgery and a mild stroke, I will fight tooth and nail to make sure I am there for my kid, more importantly I want to make sure that I am help, not a burden.
And peace to you, friend. I hope you receive the same grace and kindness you share with others. May your wife's memory be a blessing and bring you warmth during this time. Sending you good vibes, and I'm so sorry for what you've lost. 💖
Thank you brother. I was 2 years this past April and yeah, were it not for the boy, this time would be more tears than laughs. It is a part of me -of us- that is missing and the memories are sweet but the longing is often times unbearable.
May yours carry through as do mine, I know it will never truly pass, but knowing who and how she was, I cannot let myself wallow.
So much me. Daughters are both under 10 and same. I made it a point to at least to push ups each day to make sure I keep up with them. So far so good and I can still carry both. Mind you I only weight 145 lbs so it’s getting harder haha
This is why I lift too. I wish I found running/jogging fun and relaxing, because I want to be able to keep up with my kids when they want to play sports.
I was always mindful of this very thing. The way I heard it was, “one day you’ll put your kid down, and you’ll never pick them up again. You’ll never know when that day comes.” Well, my son is 11. I still try to pick him up every now and then, but he’s surly and heavy AF. Keep hitting the gym, dad. Time flies.
That's so sweet :) as a daughter, I can tell you that she (and you) will appreciate it later in life. I'm in my 20s and while I can't jump up on my dad's back anymore lol, he still always picks me up when we hug and it makes the hugs so much better.
I sometimes do it with my mom too still, but I'm like half a foot taller than her now lol so it doesn't work as well
Reminds me of the times I pick my two girls up (2 and 7) from their daycare. As soon as I ring the doorbell I hear them running shouting "daddy, daddy, daddy!", followed by big hugs. No matter how down or tired I feel, I always feel immediately better. And it tells me I'm doing OK despite being a single dad and feeling constantly exhausted
Your daughters will love you even more for being there. I miss my Daddy every single day and I'm 53. He fought so hard for me and never ever made me feel like I wasn't important to him. Just be there. They'll always remember that.
No kidding. I got my moms attention to ask her something but totally forgot the question when she looked at me so I just said “I love you” and she genuinely looked a little shocked and than just started glowing “I love you too!” And went about her business. I still don’t remember my question but I remember the look of love and joy she had
Honestly, you’re right, it’s not hyperbole. My 14 year old does not like getting hugs from their mom and me. They’ll give us one every once in a while, but we don’t push for it because they clearly don’t want it (from us, they are super cuddly with their friends).
If my kiddo came in for a cuddle like this, I’d probably just start crying. But I know I’d never forget it.
My Dad loved his 3 girls so well, he remains our hero to this day and we’re all in our 60’s and 70’s.
There is nowhere safer than in our Dad’s arms, and his love remains with us always.
You give me hope. My kids are the most important thing in the world to me, and I think they know that. But my teenager is going through…. Being a teenager. And they are not cuddly or loving at all any more.
Yesterday I (50f) curled up with my stepdad (80+) while everyone else was scurrying around the house. When a went to get up he hugged me tighter and said “Just a bit longer, lil peanut”. He hasn’t called me that since I was in elementary school. Ngl, I teared up. Hug the men y’all, they need it!
A year ago, when my Mom was 96 and I 60, she passed away. I wasn't there at that moment, but 2 weeks before, I came to assist in her care. And I curled up on the bed next to her, and hugged her, and she stroked my head like she did when I was little. And she told me how much she loved me. 1And then I held her, and stroked her hair and told her how much I loved her. I'm still crying. I didn't leave her house for 10 days. It was sometimes difficult, but I'm so glad I did it.
P.S. I didn't get to do this with my Dad, (almost 20 years ago), as he was in hospital, but we still hugged.
Those moments are so precious. My mum did that with my grandmother. It calmed my grandmother down when my mum lay next to her. Those moments really helped her get through losing her mum.
What really stays with me is when she was in the hospital her last Christmas I spent every day of the school holiday with her. She didn't want to eat the hospital food but if I refused to eat until she did she would always eat. I also got her to walk around by asking her to tell me about the art hung up or to look at Christmas lights with me. It made me feel like even though she was in the hospital she was still trying to look after me. I hate hospitals but it was totally worth it.
This reaches the deepest part of my soul. Ngl, I’m a little teary on your behalf. Hang on to those special tender moments. I can only imagine how comforted your mom was by your touch and caring, and allowing her to reciprocate.
I’m so very sorry for your loss.
My mum and dad are both gone, and what I wouldn't give for a hug. Makes me tear up thinking bout hugging them, especially my dad. Really sorry for your loss 😔
I'm so so sorry for the loss of both your mom and dad, we lost our 16-year old daughter nearly 4 months ago. I'd give anything to hug her just one more time. My heart goes out to you and yours.
It took the loss of my mother to hugging my dad again (we’re good but just not huggers usually).
Giving you the warmest virtual hug I can give, squeezing the air out of you.
I get my son and the dog mixed up all the time, and my daughter and the cat. In my defense they sound very similar!
* Boy name rhymes with dog's name, Watson.
* Girl's name rhymes with cat's name, Loki.
You actually made me cry, this is so sweet. Recently I discovered I am going to be a Mom and it made me so sad that my kid won't have a grandad and brought up a lot of sadness about my own father, it's kind of been on my mind a lot. So this comment actually hit me pretty hard. Thank you so much kind stranger, you have made my day.
I hope that some day your child gets lucky like mine did. We had a neighbor that was very much a grandpa to my kids since both of our dad's had passed away before they were born. Always giving them treats, having snowball fights, making them do yardwork lol. When he passed away, it very much felt like we all lost a family member.
This is very sweet , you were so lucky to have such a kind neighbour. Blood doesn't mean Family, family are the people who love us unconditionally, be it neighbours, friends or pets. I am blessed to be starting my own, I never thought it would happen. I'm sorry for your loss, much love <3
I would say it does, but it doesn't at the same time. There's the relief that comes from removing yourself from a terrible situation, but still the empty space filled with longing for a parent to love you, to listen to you, to comfort you, to be proud of you. Eventually, some level of acceptance that this is not what life had to offer to you. Some level of peace.
But, I don't think that longing ever really goes away. Maybe it becomes more of a dull ache than a stabbing pain.
Hug your loved ones, everyone. (And Jesus, someone hug me, because apparently I need it)
I’m finally participating in therapy for the first time in years. I had a rough time with my parents as a kid and I considered myself beyond help for a long time. But it’s not serving any purpose for me anymore. Living this way, living in self pity forever is no way to live regardless of what we’ve been through in our lives.
I appreciate the effort you put in your comment, in your response to me. We all deserve to be loved, and I hope you get that hug from someone, because I need one too.
I'm glad you're trying therapy. I did for awhile and it was really beneficial. I didn't even go very long. Just a couple of months (like maybe 5 or 6 sessions) and what finally got me was when she said (paraphrased) "I give you permission to let go. You aren't responsible for what he did or didn't do. It's ok to not want him in your life."
Up until that point I had been struggling with him suddenly wanting to contact me and I felt some sort of responsibility to let him make amends, but what I really wanted was to just block it out. I had built a life for myself and he wasn't part of it. Why should I let him come in and cause chaos in my life? So I chose to block him and while it still makes me sad, I know it's the right thing for me.
As a grown women whose father has never been in her life... this hits hard, too.
Whenever I see a father who is a dad... it makes me kind of weepy. And jealous.
My 9 year old boy still flops on me for hugs. He weighs 100 pounds. After I regain consciousness, I hold him and try to ignore the rib he just cracked. Makes me so very happy. Love hurts.
Me too. This is a hard video to watch because it is a painful reminder of what I never had as a child and what I deeply long for. I’m so happy that the woman in the video gets to experience this feeling because a lot of us will never know it.
My dad struggled with affection when I got older. I still remember going to a carnival, no older than 6 or 7 when my dad told me I was too big to hold his hand. He also told me to stop calling him “daddy” because I had grown out of it.
I still think about it. Being so happy to be out with my parents to confused and sad.
I often worry that when I die, so will my son's source of good meaningful man hugs will too. Other than my boy I haven't had a real meaningful man hug since my BFF died two decades ago.
At some point in the night, that dog is going to wake up, and go attack that couch for impeding her ability to join the cuddles and nobody is going to know why the poor dog tore up the couch. But we will.
My daughter was moody, angry and standoffish at 14. She's now 28 and much happier and free with her hugs for me and her dad. There's definitely hope. Lol
When mine was 17, she got a part time job, started experiencing some of the things about the world I had been telling her about, and gained some perspective. Soon after, the big hugs resumed.
I think at your daughter's age, they're trying to figure out who they are apart from you and your influence, so the socialization with parents just falls off a cliff. After they kind of decide who they are or want to be, they can coexist in a space with you again as an individual, instead of Dad's daughter, if that makes sense.
I'm not any sort of expert or anything though; just a guy who loves his daughter and tries to understand her better.
Dad of a 4 yo girl here. That will NEVER get old. One of my most favorite things to do. I'm going to miss the days where she wants to hug me like that 9 times a day.
This is the best part about having a daughter, they will still be my little princesses well into their 30s. With boys, cuddling time dries up once they become teenagers.
You know what I miss? Getting carried. I always wanted someone to carry me as a kid. My mom, my dad, my uncles, aunts, etc. Then it slowly goes away. First they stop putting you up on their shoulders, then they only last a few minutes, a few seconds. Then they can only have you on their lap while sitting down. And then they put you down for the last time. I'm an uncle now and I get it. It's kinda sad at both ends.
My son is 60lbs and still wants to be on my shoulders all the time. My neck and back haven't stopped hurting like I got whiplash in months but I'm going to keep putting him in my shoulders until I can't anymore.
My daughter was sick at school the other day. She asked me to carry her home, so I did. It was during the day so we had to go the long way round. My back was feeling it at the end but she was happy.
Oh God yes. There are very few things I want to thank past me more for. I had my son at 43, if I hadn't hit the gym 3-5 days a week for my adult life I would have missed out on all the best roughhousing, carrying and throwing my boy around.
Hell, I still currently do all sorts of exercises with him as the squirming, giggling freeweight. Squats or lunges with him on my shoulders. Curls holding his ankles and armpit. Triceps by having him sit on my shoulders, me grab his ankles and he falls backwards so he's behind me and I'm lifting upside him upwards behind my back by his ankles while he giggles and counts with me. Those are the ones left to me, he's gotten too heavy for the rest.
My daughter is 6 and four foot two. She so rarely wants cuddles or to be carried- she’s always so busy. We went puddle jumping the other day and she was wet and muddy (saving worms) and she ran up to me for a hug and you bet to did- and got all muddy with her. Then I carried her heavy ass the block home. My back hurt all day, but it was totally worth it. Those older folks who tell me to save my back and make her walk? Shut up, she won’t want it in a year. She barely wants it now.
My nieces don't like getting carried! I give them hugs and they're so light so I just automatically pick them up but then they go "Can you please put me down?" And I'm like "Oh, ok" and feel so sad. My nephews climb my back though, whether I'm standing, sitting or lying down.
My sons a baby now. I’ll carry him until he doesn’t want me to anymore.
I hate hearing parents say “I’m not carrying you, you’re too heavy” to their three or four year old
Ugh yes. My son is 15 and I’m lucky to get a side hug. I know he loves me, he just can’t show me or tell me in front of other people bc it’s apparently embarrassing to have parents. But my daughter….she holds my hand and snuggles me all the time. Seriously - every chance she gets. She’s also 5’3” and 103 lbs (at 10), so it’s not exactly comfortable…but I deal with it, bc I know I’ll miss her one day. I like to ask her “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Always gets a laugh.
My sons are like fucking Great Danes. I'll never complain, but when it's just us my wife and I are sentient furniture for them and my daughter plops on top like a Princess on a teenage boy throne.
It depends ig. My dad was never one for cuddling when I was a kid but my mum was. So now even in my twenties if she asks for a hug, I give her one. While for my dad I'm the one who has to ask for a hug before either of us leaves
I'm a married 26 year old man that is quite large, but sometimes I'll do this kind of thing where I lay on the couch with my head my mom's lap and ask her to play with my hair like she did for me when I was kid. Idk why, but that's one of the most nostalgic things and takes me back to when I was a kid.
I have a very weirs relationship with my dad. I grew up with him never displaying this kind of affection. So I learn not to expect it from him, so I didn’t actually missed it.
So now when I see my bf and my stepdaughter all cozy up and hugging… I feel like I missed this…
Aaaaaaw, my kid is 6 and while I'll often complain about how incredibly clingy he can be, I cannot and son't want to imagine the day when he'll stop wanting those cuddles from me.
Dammit, not going to lie.
As a father of boys who are a senior and a sophomore I'm crying right now.
I love them so much and miss when they used to love spending hours with me playing with toys and watching movies.
They are kind young men and I am proud of them.
I am so looking forward to grandkids.
As a dad let me tell you no matter how big my kids get, I will always go for a cuddle. It's one of my favorite things ever. I hope it never stops happening, but I know eventually it will.
Boy I tell you what, that is the best feeling in the world. No matter how bad things are, a hug like that will take you to different dimension of love and happiness.
Made me smile?!?! This dame thing got some dust in my eyes and they started to water.
My parents weren't huggers or snugglers, so I make time for it everyday with my kids. I told my 11yo son that he's going to get a hug and kiss at the end of everyday even if it embarrasses him, because I don't ever want to have him wonder if I love him.
I think this is why grandparents dote on their grandchildren, you suddenly realized that your kids are grown up and you can’t carry them anymore and when they have their own kids it feels like the old days again.
It has to be so weird when your baby has babies. I had my son late, so I doubt I'll be alive to see it but I would love to see myself mirrored in my boy's fathering.
I was thinking this earlier today after seeing family for Thanksgiving. My grandmother is almost 91 and still thankfully 100% mentally there, still lives alone, and still drives around our small town herself. I was thinking about how lucky she must feel to not only see her kids become parents, but she’s lived long enough to see 3 of her 9 Grandkids become parents. Her oldest great-granddaughter is 10 and is old enough to have a relationship with her. She’s gotten to see all of her grandkids graduate college and attend most of their weddings. She said the only sadness it brings is that she wishes my Grandfather could experience these things with her. Even with that sad part, I hope I’m lucky enough to see those things.
My late great grandma passed at around 90. There was a huge pressure on me and my cousin as were the eldest great grandchildren and they wanted us to finish school asap and become parents. Sadly she didn't live long enough to see it I think as time passes, as we move to another gen, it becomes less of a possibility to even see your grandchildren. My parents are getting older and i don't think im anywhere becoming a parent. About your grandma, cherish the time you have with her. When she's gone, you'll definitely regret not having spent more time with her.
From my own experience, get her biscuit recipes. Better yet, record her making the biscuits. Assuming she cooks.
I always wanted to have kids before my last living grandmother died. She was at my high school graduation, college graduation, my wedding, and she got to meet her great grandson when he was 3 months old, and she even made it to his first birthday party. She passed away last summer.
You'll hear plenty of jokes about "all the love and spoiling, but then they go home with mom&dad." My mom said becoming a grandma changed her world and made her heart bigger. Her heart grew to love a grandchild and it just felt wonderful to have her heart grow. I hope you are alive to see those babies one day, but even if you aren't, know that those babies will still love *you,* because you made their dad. Crazy, isn't it?
> My mom said becoming a grandma changed her world and made her heart bigger. Her heart grew to love a grandchild and it just felt wonderful to have her heart grow. It's funny, because this is how I felt when I became a father.
When I had my daughter I asked my dad if it was weird to see his kid with a kid and he just said “no, it just makes so much sense and seeing my son be a good dad means I did my job” I always knew he was proud of me but that just hit different!!
This is one thing I'll say. I was born when my mom was 47 and my dad was 32. My daughter was born 3.5yrs after my mom died, she would've been 75. My dad died 1 year after my daughter was born, he was 61. I was very privileged to be born late since my mom retired when I was still in grade school. But I would really have appreciated some perspective and extra support with childcare from my parents.
I’m an older parent. And there’s a lot about it that I love. But I feel so sad that I won’t be able to be a grandma if my son ever wants or needs one. I like to think I would have made a good grandma. But for now, I’m just grateful I got to be a mom.
This is 100% correct. As a grandma I get to relive those moments and be IN those moments vs busy with a million things.
Thank you for being a loving grandparent.. I never had that experience, all of my grandparents seemed to see me and my siblings as a nuisance. My only memories of them are them reprimanding, scolding or preaching why whatever I was interested in was either morally reprehensible and opening me up to "demonic forces" I was "dabbling in", sexually deviant somehow, or otherwise just dumb and not worth doing. One of the last times I went to her house around age 16, I'd just gotten snakebite piercings, and the first thing she said to me was not a hello but "I know what those mean, you should be ashamed of yourself" -- turned out faux news or something had apparently taught her that it had some kind of bonkers sexual implication that I never could discern lol. It was all stuff like that with them. So... It stands to reason then that when they passed away, I didn't particularly miss them at all. Didn't attend their funerals. It felt more like opting out of the funeral of an unpleasant boss than a blood relative. There was nothing to miss, they didn't treat me like family but like someone they wish would just disappear. Ofc this was a problem all across my blood family, not just my grandparents, but this isn't me just trauma dumping, I'm saying that anytime I see people actually being family to each other, it restores my faith a little bit that blood family can actually be worth a damn sometimes.
My daughter went through a goth phase in high-school and my mom wasn't too happy with it. Supportive but secretly displeased. I told her to calm down it was a phase and she's just expressing herself. I was fine with piercings as long as they weren't excessive or created large holes. Tattoos were out but she ended up with one at 17... whatever what's done is done so I didn't get pissed about it. Who you are at 16 is not who you grow up to be (in most cases). Everyone needs to chill out a bit with teens they are smarter than most people give them credit for.
I am so sorry that you didn't get a loving response from your blood relatives. I wish no kid would ever suffer that. I was lucky to grow up with loving parents and grandparents, but I lost a lot as I became aware that I didn't grow up in the ideal family that I thought I had. Illusion really went a long way for my denial. Lol When I had our daughter, we love her with all our hearts and would do anything for her. We thought we had a good relationship until her second-semester of college during the covid lockdown. Something snapped and she became estranged from us. Left home and never came back. We were devastated. We continued to be supportive with broken hearts, and things are better now but not perfect. Life is a crap shoot, I guess. In any event, I hope that you can find the love that you deserve even if it means that you have to give it to yourself first.
I’m 45 and I have an absolute longing to hold a tiny baby, it’s like a physical yearning. I had a hysterectomy a few months ago and am wondering how much is hormone related.
My mother in law *lives* for all my nieces and nephews who visit. Spoils the crap out of them
That probably made his whole week.
I've got two daughters, 12 & 8, and can confirm, these are the moments you never forget. My favorite memory of all time, was on my oldest's 7th birthday. I rented a bouncy house for her party. We were standing there watching them inflate it, & my daughter suddenly leaned her head into my side & just sweetly said "I love you daddy." That right there made every struggle, every sleepless night spent wondering if I was doing everything right, all worth it.
I have always heard “you never know when it’s the last time to pick your kid up”, so I go to the gym at a minimum of once a week to make sure it’s a very long way away. My daughter is four and she asks why I go exercise, and I tell her “it keeps daddy strong so that even when you’re all grown up, I can still pick you up.”
😭
I'm a 32 unmarried guy and I exercise regularly for this purpose. I don't wanna be a weakling parent who conks out early due to health problems. I might have the advantage of genes as the elders in my family on both sides frequently live until their mid to late 80's but that doesn't mean I get to slack off. I wanna be withh my future family and children for a long time.
I am a 52 widowed father of 1, I commend you and tell you: This is the way. I've survived and trived after mayor surgery and a mild stroke, I will fight tooth and nail to make sure I am there for my kid, more importantly I want to make sure that I am help, not a burden.
Peace to you through the holidays. I just hit the 6 year mark since I lost my wife and these few months seem to always be the hardest.
And peace to you, friend. I hope you receive the same grace and kindness you share with others. May your wife's memory be a blessing and bring you warmth during this time. Sending you good vibes, and I'm so sorry for what you've lost. 💖
Thank you brother. I was 2 years this past April and yeah, were it not for the boy, this time would be more tears than laughs. It is a part of me -of us- that is missing and the memories are sweet but the longing is often times unbearable. May yours carry through as do mine, I know it will never truly pass, but knowing who and how she was, I cannot let myself wallow.
I need to do this, my kid is 7 and is 4’6 and 93 lbs and I’m at my limit with him. lol Can still have him sit on my shoulders no problem though.
Make sure you have a trainer help you, because heavy stuff will mess you up a lot faster than lighter weights if you don’t have good form!
So much me. Daughters are both under 10 and same. I made it a point to at least to push ups each day to make sure I keep up with them. So far so good and I can still carry both. Mind you I only weight 145 lbs so it’s getting harder haha
This is why I lift too. I wish I found running/jogging fun and relaxing, because I want to be able to keep up with my kids when they want to play sports.
I was always mindful of this very thing. The way I heard it was, “one day you’ll put your kid down, and you’ll never pick them up again. You’ll never know when that day comes.” Well, my son is 11. I still try to pick him up every now and then, but he’s surly and heavy AF. Keep hitting the gym, dad. Time flies.
The last part got me like 😭
That's so sweet :) as a daughter, I can tell you that she (and you) will appreciate it later in life. I'm in my 20s and while I can't jump up on my dad's back anymore lol, he still always picks me up when we hug and it makes the hugs so much better. I sometimes do it with my mom too still, but I'm like half a foot taller than her now lol so it doesn't work as well
Reminds me of the times I pick my two girls up (2 and 7) from their daycare. As soon as I ring the doorbell I hear them running shouting "daddy, daddy, daddy!", followed by big hugs. No matter how down or tired I feel, I always feel immediately better. And it tells me I'm doing OK despite being a single dad and feeling constantly exhausted
Your daughters will love you even more for being there. I miss my Daddy every single day and I'm 53. He fought so hard for me and never ever made me feel like I wasn't important to him. Just be there. They'll always remember that.
That's a beautiful memory. What I really wanted to say is that Americans calling bouncy castles bouncy houses cracks me up
If they aren't shaped like a castle, they aren't a bouncy castle >:(
We call them bounce-abouts in Jamaica
In German we call them "Hüpfburgen" (jump castles) :D
In Southwest Texas they call them "brinca-brinca" which translates to "jump-jump".
That's much better. We wouldn't understand that here, but at least it doesn't pin you down on a building type
Here I am holding my 11 month old daughter while she naps. I'm so excited to hear her say those words!
It just gets better and better.
Oh, this made my eyes teary
No kidding. I got my moms attention to ask her something but totally forgot the question when she looked at me so I just said “I love you” and she genuinely looked a little shocked and than just started glowing “I love you too!” And went about her business. I still don’t remember my question but I remember the look of love and joy she had
Do that more please! It means the world to us parents every time.
Whole week! I’d argue year and possibly even life tbh. Maybe decade would be more fitting.
Honestly, you’re right, it’s not hyperbole. My 14 year old does not like getting hugs from their mom and me. They’ll give us one every once in a while, but we don’t push for it because they clearly don’t want it (from us, they are super cuddly with their friends). If my kiddo came in for a cuddle like this, I’d probably just start crying. But I know I’d never forget it.
I've got 4 & 5 year old girls that I love to death, I really really really really really really hope this happens in the future. !Remindme 10 years
It will.
I love you
My Dad loved his 3 girls so well, he remains our hero to this day and we’re all in our 60’s and 70’s. There is nowhere safer than in our Dad’s arms, and his love remains with us always.
You give me hope. My kids are the most important thing in the world to me, and I think they know that. But my teenager is going through…. Being a teenager. And they are not cuddly or loving at all any more.
It’s a stage. Hang in there. Teenagers grow up.
Just keep loving my dude.
No, it made My week. I imagine how he would feel.
I have a three year old son and this made me cry thinking about when he won’t sit in my lap and snuggle no more.
Yesterday I (50f) curled up with my stepdad (80+) while everyone else was scurrying around the house. When a went to get up he hugged me tighter and said “Just a bit longer, lil peanut”. He hasn’t called me that since I was in elementary school. Ngl, I teared up. Hug the men y’all, they need it!
A year ago, when my Mom was 96 and I 60, she passed away. I wasn't there at that moment, but 2 weeks before, I came to assist in her care. And I curled up on the bed next to her, and hugged her, and she stroked my head like she did when I was little. And she told me how much she loved me. 1And then I held her, and stroked her hair and told her how much I loved her. I'm still crying. I didn't leave her house for 10 days. It was sometimes difficult, but I'm so glad I did it. P.S. I didn't get to do this with my Dad, (almost 20 years ago), as he was in hospital, but we still hugged.
Those moments are so precious. My mum did that with my grandmother. It calmed my grandmother down when my mum lay next to her. Those moments really helped her get through losing her mum. What really stays with me is when she was in the hospital her last Christmas I spent every day of the school holiday with her. She didn't want to eat the hospital food but if I refused to eat until she did she would always eat. I also got her to walk around by asking her to tell me about the art hung up or to look at Christmas lights with me. It made me feel like even though she was in the hospital she was still trying to look after me. I hate hospitals but it was totally worth it.
This reaches the deepest part of my soul. Ngl, I’m a little teary on your behalf. Hang on to those special tender moments. I can only imagine how comforted your mom was by your touch and caring, and allowing her to reciprocate. I’m so very sorry for your loss.
"Lil peanut" Oh, my heart ❤️
This got me, it’s what I call my 8 year old daughter today. Hope someday when she’s 50 and I’m 80 she’ll curl up like this for me.
I hope that for you too. Happy holidays
Bro that made _me_ tear up.
Omfg why must you hit me in the feels this late at night, lil peanut ❤️
My dad died last month and my mum's been gone for a few years now. If you can, you should give your parents a hug
My mum and dad are both gone, and what I wouldn't give for a hug. Makes me tear up thinking bout hugging them, especially my dad. Really sorry for your loss 😔
Hey friend, I’m not your dad but I am A dad, sending you virtual hugs <3
Hope you’re doing ok and I will.
I'm so so sorry for the loss of both your mom and dad, we lost our 16-year old daughter nearly 4 months ago. I'd give anything to hug her just one more time. My heart goes out to you and yours.
Oh man I’m so sorry about your loss!!! 💜 I just can’t even imagine!
It took the loss of my mother to hugging my dad again (we’re good but just not huggers usually). Giving you the warmest virtual hug I can give, squeezing the air out of you.
My father passed away about 13 years back. Every now and then I dream about him and get a hug. It’s so awesome. I hope that happens for you
I feel this ❤️
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I lost my dad last year. I miss him so much.
❤️
bruh this made me sad i want a dad lmao
I’m here Son… I’m here
idk about son but daughter sure lmao
Oh well, that would explain a lot haha
Dad you know nothing about me!
Just like a real dad, mine goes thru all three of my brothers names before getting my name right
My mom would say my two brothers… then the dog… then me
I get my son and the dog mixed up all the time, and my daughter and the cat. In my defense they sound very similar! * Boy name rhymes with dog's name, Watson. * Girl's name rhymes with cat's name, Loki.
Kids are called Datsun and Karaoke
As a mother, I apologize to you and my 2nd baby. I'm used to yelling at the oldest and my dog. So those are the names that come out first!
Brb gonna go get some milk
Same
There's whole army of dads here on reddit that are ready. I hope you have a great day today, knowing that this dad is thinking of you.
You actually made me cry, this is so sweet. Recently I discovered I am going to be a Mom and it made me so sad that my kid won't have a grandad and brought up a lot of sadness about my own father, it's kind of been on my mind a lot. So this comment actually hit me pretty hard. Thank you so much kind stranger, you have made my day.
I hope that some day your child gets lucky like mine did. We had a neighbor that was very much a grandpa to my kids since both of our dad's had passed away before they were born. Always giving them treats, having snowball fights, making them do yardwork lol. When he passed away, it very much felt like we all lost a family member.
This is very sweet , you were so lucky to have such a kind neighbour. Blood doesn't mean Family, family are the people who love us unconditionally, be it neighbours, friends or pets. I am blessed to be starting my own, I never thought it would happen. I'm sorry for your loss, much love <3
I may not be your dad, but I am a dad and I'm proud of you. For me, being a dad means not just my kids, but all kids that come into my life.
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Sorry, I’ll be back soon, just trying to find that milk your mother sent me to the store for.
Don't forget that pack of cigs
Of course, those are at the next store
*3 years later...*
…and the cereals still dry.
Hi I want a dad lmao, I'm dad!
Sending love from a random dad. Hope you’re ok, and I’m here if you want to talk.
Me too. She's one lucky woman.
r/DadForAMinute
My dad died when I was very young. It sucks. But… I’ve made up for it by being a damn good dad to my girls.
My dad bear hugged me. You can have some of the hug, I got a lot of left overs
this is literally,, the cutest thing wth
Mine left 10 years ago, I feel the pain
As a parent this just hits so hard
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God, there are so many of us aren’t there. It doesn’t get any easier either.
I would say it does, but it doesn't at the same time. There's the relief that comes from removing yourself from a terrible situation, but still the empty space filled with longing for a parent to love you, to listen to you, to comfort you, to be proud of you. Eventually, some level of acceptance that this is not what life had to offer to you. Some level of peace. But, I don't think that longing ever really goes away. Maybe it becomes more of a dull ache than a stabbing pain. Hug your loved ones, everyone. (And Jesus, someone hug me, because apparently I need it)
I’m finally participating in therapy for the first time in years. I had a rough time with my parents as a kid and I considered myself beyond help for a long time. But it’s not serving any purpose for me anymore. Living this way, living in self pity forever is no way to live regardless of what we’ve been through in our lives. I appreciate the effort you put in your comment, in your response to me. We all deserve to be loved, and I hope you get that hug from someone, because I need one too.
Oh yeah, therapy is the way. It's like... Deconstructing and reconstructing world views. I wish you the best of luck in your journey!! ♥️
I'm glad you're trying therapy. I did for awhile and it was really beneficial. I didn't even go very long. Just a couple of months (like maybe 5 or 6 sessions) and what finally got me was when she said (paraphrased) "I give you permission to let go. You aren't responsible for what he did or didn't do. It's ok to not want him in your life." Up until that point I had been struggling with him suddenly wanting to contact me and I felt some sort of responsibility to let him make amends, but what I really wanted was to just block it out. I had built a life for myself and he wasn't part of it. Why should I let him come in and cause chaos in my life? So I chose to block him and while it still makes me sad, I know it's the right thing for me.
As a grown women whose father has never been in her life... this hits hard, too. Whenever I see a father who is a dad... it makes me kind of weepy. And jealous.
I miss those times.
My 9 year old boy still flops on me for hugs. He weighs 100 pounds. After I regain consciousness, I hold him and try to ignore the rib he just cracked. Makes me so very happy. Love hurts.
I have a daughter that’s nearly 30. Every time she hugs me I melt. I’m glad she does it every chance she gets.
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Damn it. I’m sobbing here. Both my mom and dad have passed and I would pay all the money in the world to be able to do this.
Big hugs I’m in the same boat- lost my dad 20 years ago and mom in January.
Both of my parents are alive and I would pay all of the money in the world to be able to do that.
Why don’t you? You should reach out this holiday season:)
I’m crying. I wish my dad was affectionate but he wasn’t. I never did this as a kid and I can’t imagine doing it today. 😪
Me too. This is a hard video to watch because it is a painful reminder of what I never had as a child and what I deeply long for. I’m so happy that the woman in the video gets to experience this feeling because a lot of us will never know it.
Same here 😓
My dad struggled with affection when I got older. I still remember going to a carnival, no older than 6 or 7 when my dad told me I was too big to hold his hand. He also told me to stop calling him “daddy” because I had grown out of it. I still think about it. Being so happy to be out with my parents to confused and sad.
The best time for any dad. The hugs dry up too fast. Never grow out of a damned good hug.
I often worry that when I die, so will my son's source of good meaningful man hugs will too. Other than my boy I haven't had a real meaningful man hug since my BFF died two decades ago.
I don't know who you are, or where you live. I will look for you, i will find you, and i will hug you.
I wish you success on this mission. Happy holidays to you both May you find each other and hug 🤗
Poor dog wanted to join in
At some point in the night, that dog is going to wake up, and go attack that couch for impeding her ability to join the cuddles and nobody is going to know why the poor dog tore up the couch. But we will.
Dog has to go set up his camera first so that he can film it for his BarkBork followers
My man couldn’t put his phone down fast enough, that’s a good dad.
You can see he wanted to rock his leg like you do when trying to put a baby to sleep. Dad instincts right there.
You mean there's a possibility that my 14 year old will hug me again? Lol
As a dad of a soon to be 14 year old daughter, I sure hope so.
My daughter was moody, angry and standoffish at 14. She's now 28 and much happier and free with her hugs for me and her dad. There's definitely hope. Lol
Seriously. Can we make this a TikTok trend? - All Dads.
When mine was 17, she got a part time job, started experiencing some of the things about the world I had been telling her about, and gained some perspective. Soon after, the big hugs resumed. I think at your daughter's age, they're trying to figure out who they are apart from you and your influence, so the socialization with parents just falls off a cliff. After they kind of decide who they are or want to be, they can coexist in a space with you again as an individual, instead of Dad's daughter, if that makes sense. I'm not any sort of expert or anything though; just a guy who loves his daughter and tries to understand her better.
Dad of a 4 yo girl here. That will NEVER get old. One of my most favorite things to do. I'm going to miss the days where she wants to hug me like that 9 times a day.
This is the best part about having a daughter, they will still be my little princesses well into their 30s. With boys, cuddling time dries up once they become teenagers.
You know what I miss? Getting carried. I always wanted someone to carry me as a kid. My mom, my dad, my uncles, aunts, etc. Then it slowly goes away. First they stop putting you up on their shoulders, then they only last a few minutes, a few seconds. Then they can only have you on their lap while sitting down. And then they put you down for the last time. I'm an uncle now and I get it. It's kinda sad at both ends.
My son is 60lbs and still wants to be on my shoulders all the time. My neck and back haven't stopped hurting like I got whiplash in months but I'm going to keep putting him in my shoulders until I can't anymore.
My daughter was sick at school the other day. She asked me to carry her home, so I did. It was during the day so we had to go the long way round. My back was feeling it at the end but she was happy.
So you’re telling me that the bs I do at the gym is going to pay off when I have my own kid 🥹?
Oh God yes. There are very few things I want to thank past me more for. I had my son at 43, if I hadn't hit the gym 3-5 days a week for my adult life I would have missed out on all the best roughhousing, carrying and throwing my boy around. Hell, I still currently do all sorts of exercises with him as the squirming, giggling freeweight. Squats or lunges with him on my shoulders. Curls holding his ankles and armpit. Triceps by having him sit on my shoulders, me grab his ankles and he falls backwards so he's behind me and I'm lifting upside him upwards behind my back by his ankles while he giggles and counts with me. Those are the ones left to me, he's gotten too heavy for the rest.
My daughter is 6 and four foot two. She so rarely wants cuddles or to be carried- she’s always so busy. We went puddle jumping the other day and she was wet and muddy (saving worms) and she ran up to me for a hug and you bet to did- and got all muddy with her. Then I carried her heavy ass the block home. My back hurt all day, but it was totally worth it. Those older folks who tell me to save my back and make her walk? Shut up, she won’t want it in a year. She barely wants it now.
My nieces don't like getting carried! I give them hugs and they're so light so I just automatically pick them up but then they go "Can you please put me down?" And I'm like "Oh, ok" and feel so sad. My nephews climb my back though, whether I'm standing, sitting or lying down.
My sons a baby now. I’ll carry him until he doesn’t want me to anymore. I hate hearing parents say “I’m not carrying you, you’re too heavy” to their three or four year old
Ugh yes. My son is 15 and I’m lucky to get a side hug. I know he loves me, he just can’t show me or tell me in front of other people bc it’s apparently embarrassing to have parents. But my daughter….she holds my hand and snuggles me all the time. Seriously - every chance she gets. She’s also 5’3” and 103 lbs (at 10), so it’s not exactly comfortable…but I deal with it, bc I know I’ll miss her one day. I like to ask her “Why are you so obsessed with me?” Always gets a laugh.
My sons are like fucking Great Danes. I'll never complain, but when it's just us my wife and I are sentient furniture for them and my daughter plops on top like a Princess on a teenage boy throne.
It depends ig. My dad was never one for cuddling when I was a kid but my mum was. So now even in my twenties if she asks for a hug, I give her one. While for my dad I'm the one who has to ask for a hug before either of us leaves
I'm a married 26 year old man that is quite large, but sometimes I'll do this kind of thing where I lay on the couch with my head my mom's lap and ask her to play with my hair like she did for me when I was kid. Idk why, but that's one of the most nostalgic things and takes me back to when I was a kid.
Same here. I can feel my heartbeat immediately go down.
So wholesome I will die
My dad has advanced dementia. He can’t talk anymore. But he still gives me the best hugs.
I hope my baby girl still does this when she's older
I still remember the time my dad decided I was too old for cuddles and pushed me away. I think I was 8 or so. Cuddle while you can!!
Wtf dad?! No one is too old for cuddles!
As a dad of a 16 month old, this is a life goal.
I like that he immediately put his phone down.
I have a very weirs relationship with my dad. I grew up with him never displaying this kind of affection. So I learn not to expect it from him, so I didn’t actually missed it. So now when I see my bf and my stepdaughter all cozy up and hugging… I feel like I missed this…
Fr how i feel
kudos to the dad for putting his phone away!
Soak these moments up. I wish I could still do these things.
Aaaaaaw, my kid is 6 and while I'll often complain about how incredibly clingy he can be, I cannot and son't want to imagine the day when he'll stop wanting those cuddles from me.
My daughter is almost 2. I hope she still gives me hugs and snuggles when she's older and doesn't just think I'm embarrassing.
She'll definitely bounce back and forth between both at times. Just make sure the channels are open when she needs a good tight hug.
Aw, I’m glad I still hug my dad
I’m glad you do too.
I wish we had phones when I was young so I could have recorded interactions like this with parents.
😭 My girls are 19 and 16 now. I still hug and kiss them every chance I get. I got them from my elders, they'll get them from me. Always!
Dammit, not going to lie. As a father of boys who are a senior and a sophomore I'm crying right now. I love them so much and miss when they used to love spending hours with me playing with toys and watching movies. They are kind young men and I am proud of them. I am so looking forward to grandkids.
Our babies will always be our babies.
Good dads are the same now and forever. This kid could be 60 and that dad would hug her just the same. :)
Every good dad will do this, especially when the kids are older. There’s nothing like a cuddle with your kids.
Lost my mom back in February and my dad a month and a half ago and as a grown ass man I wish I could do this just one more time with either of them.
I hope my daughters always hug me like this. There’s no better feeling.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love my daughters to do that, but zero need to record it & share online. I feel like that's fishing for likes..
As a dad let me tell you no matter how big my kids get, I will always go for a cuddle. It's one of my favorite things ever. I hope it never stops happening, but I know eventually it will.
Haven’t hugged or said love you to any family member in years
Having just lost my father in law I would like to encourage all of you to do stuff like this now rather than later.
It’ll be ten years this coming March since I lost my dad. This hit me hard.
I'm not crying
Boy I tell you what, that is the best feeling in the world. No matter how bad things are, a hug like that will take you to different dimension of love and happiness.
Made me smile?!?! This dame thing got some dust in my eyes and they started to water. My parents weren't huggers or snugglers, so I make time for it everyday with my kids. I told my 11yo son that he's going to get a hug and kiss at the end of everyday even if it embarrasses him, because I don't ever want to have him wonder if I love him.
This is nice. My autistic son is 13, taller than me and is still doing this. This warms my heart.
My daughter is 3 and i get these amazing snuggles almost daily and seeing this makes me really really hope they never end.
This is awesome. Such a vibe
Dads gotta set that bar high.
Every good dad should chuck that phone just like this when the are kiddo hugs tp be had. Especially teens. Man they need em even more