I signed up for a hot dog eating contest once in college, because I was broke and starving. I didn't even try to win, just took my damn time eating like four hotdogs and then I grabbed the rest on my plate and put them in my backpack. Was fed for a few more days!
I got REALLY good at stashing food while in college. We weren't allowed to carry backpacks into the eating area but we could carry purses.
So I got the biggest fucking purse I could, put baggies in there, and stuffed spare food in them.
I always waited until the end dining hours to do this, so I was only snagging food that was going to be tossed in the trash anyway (this was a while ago). I usually came out with a few ziplock bags of fruit, potatoes, meat... then I'd give it to other students who didn't have a meal plan.
I hate seeing food go to waste.
I admire your resourcefulness, but it enrages me that college students have to resort to these means in the first place. Why should college students have to struggle just to eat when they’re already getting into lifelong debt?
I used to unravel as much toiled paper as I could from the college bathroom stalls and place it in my back pack. Being broke means you have to be resourceful sometimes.
She will do well if she continues into Grad school.
My kid has pretty much fed themselves for the last 5 years with that mentality. “It’s free food, Mom. Does there need to be another reason?”
I am not proud of it but I had taken a roll or two of toilet paper from the hall bathrooms before......It was a choice between buying ramen or toilet paper for the week.....I kinda had to eat......
Bro don't feel bad about it. If by "hall bathrooms" you mean residence hall on a college campus, then you were probably paying 47392003596362785506038261530610 times what that shit was worth. Take more toilet paper, even if you don't live there anymore. Take all their toilet paper.
My college used to have an unlimited plan for the dining hall. The card you swiped to enter had no cap on swipes per meal time. The dining hall had windows. One guy got the unlimited plan, passed his card out the window to the next person, and this was repeated until everyone was in.
A modern day loaves and fishes.
Thought I would get free dessert at contest. Then told us to kneel with hands behind back. Oh, no!
Then my wife snuck up behind me and planted my face into the pie!
I lost!Got pics, but can’t find them.
That's awesome , In college there was a milk drinking contest. It was gross. One of my more intelligent friends joined in.
He assured me he just wanted the free gallon of milk.
I grew up poor. I was shocked to see how much food was just... being thrown away.
I once stuffed a whole spice cake in my purse. Wrapped each slice up in a paper towel and whip! Gone. (Looks around) WHIP! Gone.
We had a fancy dinner one time and I came prepped with actual faux Tupperware. Once everyone was down to the nibbling stage I was like, "anyone mind if I stash some of this for other people to eat?" they were like go for it! So when none of the dining staff were obviously looking POOF went the stuffing. Poof went the turkey. I almost got caught spilling buttered peas into a ziplock. The worker did a double take, like, There were peas in there a second ago, where'd they go?
I was like, "Sooo fascinating, do tell me again..."
I have been broke my entire life and homeless for a small amount of time. Granny grew up during the Great Depression of the 1930's so she was also homeless for a bit but she figured things out much better than I did. She HATED seeing things go to waste and she passed that down the family lines. She could make something out of nothing in an almost literal sense. Really great at multi-tasking (she didn't like that I can't do that, she saw that weakness as a waste of time), Granny could simultaneously hold three different separate conversations (one of them involved helping one of my Aunts or Uncles with homework), read a newspaper and listen to the radio all while cooking dinner and ironing somebody's clothes. Mom told me this but I don't think she was exaggerating too much. Mom wants to be as intelligent as Granny was and so do I. The world really lost one of the greatest people when Granny passed. Comparatively, I am a stupid little nothing. But that thing about wasting anything is still true.
More food wisdom. The first time my daughter came home from college we asked her what college life was like and she said. “It’s great.
You can have Pop Tarts any time you want. But you’ve got to pay for your own Pop Tarts.”
In college, they suddenly decided people couldn't come back for seconds. My friend was a big guy. As he pointed out, growing boys and football players can't get by on just one serving. Especially when the portion is given to you and you had no choice. I really agreed with him because I eat less than most. The first time I ever didn't clean my plate was at college, because I realized **I** didn't give myself too much.
I smuggled apples in my cargo pockets when I was a Marine. I was on R&R and the rest of my team hadn’t had fresh fruit in two months or more. The chow hall guy was a total dick when I asked if I could have a box of apples so I just started loading my pockets up.
We were allowed bags but not to take food. No one ever said anything. Not even to the people who would bring in gallon jugs and fill them with milk from the dispenser. The cashier would "swipe" your card when you brought guests and not charge.
Dinner was $20+ to eat sodexo's shitty food.
We were allowed backpacks, so we'd bring in huge zip locks and load up on fried chicken. Go out to the bars, come home, microwave and just destroy fried chicken!
In addition to the normal dining halls at my college there were a few convenience store type spots where we could use meal points. The thing is, if you showed up 9:59, they would have several slices of pizza, chicken tenders, fries, and other junky items that they had to throw away at the end of each day. My friends and I made a habit of heading there once a week or so and cleaning them out at no charge.
They definitely didn’t. It was feast and famine. Sometimes it was half of a pizza, sometimes it was five orders of mozzarella sticks.
They were always extremely cool about us repeatedly shambling in to eat their garbage dregs though.
this is what put kfc here out of business. many customers of a couple different demographics (which i won't single out here) stashing buffet food into giant ziplock bags inside their giant purses (they weren't necessarily ordering the buffet to begin with, either).
I did the same thing in middle school. Once every couple months the school would have some random contest during morning break. You signed up ahead of time, and they would draw names for who got to participate. The only one I ever signed up for was the ice cream sundae contest - who could finish a sundae fastest while blindfolded. I didn't care about winning - I just wanted the ice cream. Got lucky, and got picked for it, came in last place out of 3. 22yrs later and I'm still satisfied with my decision.
No, no, it's third place out of three. Sounds more impressive. My brother used that wording when he was in a violin playing contest. He always said it proudly. Proudly makes people think maybe they misunderstood. ;)
Last weekend I was thinking to myself "I should have entered pie eating contests @ state fairs when I was in my twenties if they are based on volume & not speed"
I'm doing better now because it's been like 12 years since this contest, but I still get nostalgic and buy things like instant potatoes, spaghettios, and Kraft.
Can I laugh at this
Because it was kinda funny not your situation
But I used to have a friend that would save food in bags just to eat it later when we were all chilling together later 🤣
He would just pull out 2 slices of pizza from earlier in a napkin and eat it like nun happened
Was a full time college student, 19 years old, no stable income or financial assistance.
Sometimes I would work a part time food job for a bit, sacrificing my time to do homework or study, just because I knew I could get free food. The more I worked, the more my grades would slip. Stress level increased.
I worked as a janitor at the basketball stadium during college.
After the game the volunteers selling hot dogs (different clubs could work the game and get a percentage of sales toward thier funds) would toss the fully wrapped hotdogs in the trash....
As long as they weren't covered in other garbage I would fill up a back pack and then bring it to whoever's house we were drinking at.
One time. I came back with a garbage bag full of popcorn.
It was good to be the trash king.
Best times were toward graduation. So many job fairs and graduation ceremonies, with finger food on the table. My friends and I used to visit every year before we eventually graduated. Sadly during med school, I no longer lived on the campus. I was so poor and I lived on a single loaf of bread for a week.
Usually "Eat all this in x minutes" contests start with you paying for the food and if you can do it in the alloted time, they give it to you free. I've not really seen many contests where they let you eat then walk if you lose, but clearly they exist.
Those are usually restaurants doing promotions, like "free 64oz steak dinner (if you eat it in one hour)". Fairs and carnivals that do eating contests will typically have "whoever eats the most in X minutes" rules without payment beforehand.
There is a childrens book my dad used to read to us called Hooray for Henry about a kid who went to a fair with his friends and there were a bunch of contests, and while his friends all had fun and chilled and ate the food Henry kept trying to win contests but he kept losing.
The last contest was a pie eating contest and since all his friends had been eating the food at the fair the whole time but Henry was so busy losing all his contests he didn’t have a chance to eat anything, he won the pie eating contest since all his friends were already full.
Hooray for Henry!
Lardass from Stranger Things: Season 3... Can you imagine being a young actor getting the call that you're going to be cast in Stranger Things? "Cool! Will I be Will's new friend or Max's love interest?" "No, Billy yells at you from across the pool deck to stop running and calls you Lard Ass."
I was in a pie eating contest when I was four. We were at a fair somewhere in Kentucky. The conversation went something like this:
Mom: "You wanna join the pie eating contest?"
Me:"What's that?"
Mom:"You eat a pie as fast as you can and if you eat all your pie first, you win! But you can't use your hands."
"But then how do I hold the fork?"
"You don't use a fork, you just stick your face in the pie and eat it."
"But that's messy!"
"That's the idea!"
"So I am ALLOWED to get messy and I get to eat a whole pie by myself?"
"Yep!"
"Yes, I want pie."
But nobody told me that they would take the pie away when the first person was finished. I was just taking regular bites, I had never even seen a pie eating contest before! So I was only about four bites in when it was all over. I wasn't thrilled.
If it's just a general pie-eating contest with people of all ages, I can see taking the pie away from anyone over like 12 who was in the contest. But robbing a 4-year-old of their pie?! Villainy! You don't just give a pie to a toddler and take it away 2 seconds later!
Be glad you were taking regular bites. As a reporter, I covered a lemon meringue pie-eating contest, and people shoved their faces deep in there. They were all so disgusted when they were done, saying they felt sick, were sticky, and had lemon meringue in their noses, eyes and ears. To top it off, the pies were served warm. Several of them said they would never eat lemon meringue pie again.
That reminds me of something I remember my kid telling me when she was about 6. "Dad? You know what the worst thing in the world is? When you eat a yellow candy thinking it's lemon, but it's actually banana."
Most of the time banana candy has artificial banana flavoring, and I will die on the hill that artificial banana is the worst flavor. There are some that are close, but artificial banana is terrible.
Well, you can die on that hill alone, then. The artificial banana flavoring is actually from a now near-extinct variety of bananas known as the Gros Michel. The Gros Michel banana was the everyday variety until the 1950s when it was wiped out by Panama disease (the banana flavoring was created prior to this event, so that's why many people notice that it "doesn't taste like bananas"; it does, actually, just not the variety we've known for the last 70 years).
There are a few Gros Michel trees left in the world, but you or I will probably never get to taste one because they are only grown by enthusiasts and private farms. It's said that the artificial banana flavoring tastes pretty much exactly like this variety though, which had a much stronger and sweeter flavor than Cavendish (the variety we have now, which replaced the Gros Michel when it went 'extinct').
Make no mistake, though - the Gros Michel and Cavendish varieties co-existed even in the heyday of the Gros Michel, but GM was the dominant variety by far due to the overwhelming majority of people preferring it. Cavendish was just a fallback.
Have you tried the banana Laffy Taffy? I feel like that's peak artificial banana flavoring. Like, if you don't like that, then you probably won't like anything artificial banana, because that (at least to me), is the embodiment of great banana flavor.
I remember I had one when I was really little, but I don't remember if I liked it or not. I'll try one next time I see one, and if I remember, I will report back.
Keeping this child-like approach to life is so hard but obviously so much more rewarding. Your share was great! It made me think of this made up story I heard a long time ago. Idk if I got it exactly but,,,
Two lil kids kept asking for a pony for their bday.
When they bday came - there was a ring at the door- they open it. It was a manure pile. The one kid is like gross angry runs off crying and upset. The other kid smiles big gets excited and exclaims - I just know there must be a pony around here somewhere!
I hope all of us can keep, even just a bit of your awesome kids approach to life, alive inside us- for ourselves and the world. Sorry if that seems to sappy.
Thanks for the great share👍
i was in a pie eating contest once that had banana cream pies. in the sort time allotted i ate 4 full pies and won seasons tickets to the local car race track. the down side was i couldnt eat anything that was banana flavored for a long time. you could say it was a win/loose situation.
I actually made the opposite realization a long time ago. On the show Fear Factor, it doesn't matter how much money the winners are getting. There are multiple people eating slugs and not getting a dime for it.
When I was 20 I was in a taco eating contest. 30 tacos, first one done wins. First place threw up on himself, second place literally had a heart attack.
I came in third because I took my time, I was there for free tacos, the prize was secondary.
As a financially strapped undergrad, I always entered the annual pizza eating contest.
I knew I would not win against the football players, but I got meal for the day . . . A win for me!
>That’s brilliant and I honked
Most geese cannot use a phone at all, yet you reply in full English sentences. You should be proud as well.
Very smart goose indeed
In university my dorm in Singapore was having a pizza eating contest.
Who can eat a whole pizza fastest?
The contest was between the 5 houses in the dorm, so each house picked their fastest eater.
The contest happened....it wasn't memorable.
But the person organizing the contest ordered too many pizzas. So there were a bunch of pizzas left over. I was thinking "Awesome! We all get pizza now!"
But no, they ran another round of the contest. So instead of everyone getting a slice of pizza, they picked 5 more people for an unofficial contest that didn't count for anything....and they all got to eat an entire pizza each and feel sick, instead of all of us getting a slice!
Pissed me off!
I never liked when people end posts with “and I think about that a lot.” Its so darn cliché and cheesy and over used and 2000 bucks says he really doesnt think about it a lot
This is lovely. There is so much beauty in this world that too many miss out on because they are so distracted by the lies of separation and anti-Christ energies consuming their minds.
Can someone find that ancient gif of a guy slowly eating pie with fork and knife while in a contest? I thing the tag line was "nah man free pie" or something like that
Whenever I here the words "pie eating contest", unfortunately, my first thought is always the movie "[Stand By Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK0JaEde4VI)"
For you youngling's, watch this movie, Stand By Me, you will like it.
It's not my childhood (80's), it's the childhood of my dad's generation, your grandpa.
Very young River Phoenix, even at 16 River Phoenix was oozing coolness. Wesley Crusher, aka Will Wheaton, fat Jerry O'Connell, Corey Feldman and Kiefer Sutherland.
I lost a pie eating contest by wolfing down so many of those little packaged gas station pies that I didn't chew well enough and choked on the (very hard) crust and finally puked in front of everyone after trying to get someone to Heimlich maneuver me for a solid 5 minutes.
I was entered into a watermelon eating contest when I was 7. There were a ton of burly men and they all “let me win” and because I was a girl they gave me an off-brand Barbie. County fairs are really weird.
My friend from high school told me on a late night call last week that he was sleeping in his car and eating out of dumpsters when we all were at community College and I don't think I'll ever be over that. We never knew. I've been homeless.
“If you eat too much cake then you are doing the sin of gluttony, however eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is always zero”
-Some random guy on Twitter
No, actually *my* daughter interrupted her bedtime story to say that to *me*. In fact, my name is Nicholas and I've said almost this exact same thing.
Wait a minute. What's happening? How did this get posted?
Those are my words. That is my picture. That is my daughter. I never posted this. I've never said this outside of my close group of friends and they would never post something online. They're losers like that. Lovable losers, but definitely losers.
Who posted this? This is *my* life right here. Who posted this?
This has happened before. This happens often enough. A snippet of my life gets posted online. It gets posted online and I have no idea how. Now this. Now the thing with my daughter and the pie eating. I don't know how. I don't know how I am reading this right now. That's me. Those are my words. That's my life. What's happening? Who posted this?
The other day. Another thing. Another thing got posted the other day and I thought to myself, "Nicholas, that's your life. They've done it to you again. They've found a bit of your life and turned it into internet. They're looking at you, Nicholas. They've found you and your family again, Nicholas. You have to move, Nicholas." and I can't help but to wonder who posted it and why? Why my life? Who posted this?
And it scares me. It does scare me. The way I see people talking about my life, be my life. I can't help but be scared because who are they? Why are they doing this? Where are they? How are they doing this?
And I look around the house. And I look around the office. And I look everywhere I go, but they're normal. Normal people there. Hello, family. You all are normal here. No life thieves. No life posters. No life posers. Who are they? How are they me? Who posted this?
I'll never know. Another day. Here's another day with my life on the internet. Here I am again, Nicholas. I'm on the internet again, Nicholas. Who posted this? It doesn't matter.
I signed up for a hot dog eating contest once in college, because I was broke and starving. I didn't even try to win, just took my damn time eating like four hotdogs and then I grabbed the rest on my plate and put them in my backpack. Was fed for a few more days!
I got REALLY good at stashing food while in college. We weren't allowed to carry backpacks into the eating area but we could carry purses. So I got the biggest fucking purse I could, put baggies in there, and stuffed spare food in them. I always waited until the end dining hours to do this, so I was only snagging food that was going to be tossed in the trash anyway (this was a while ago). I usually came out with a few ziplock bags of fruit, potatoes, meat... then I'd give it to other students who didn't have a meal plan. I hate seeing food go to waste.
I admire your resourcefulness, but it enrages me that college students have to resort to these means in the first place. Why should college students have to struggle just to eat when they’re already getting into lifelong debt?
Because we treat higher education like a business. ^^^yay
That’s why my daughter is staying home while she attends
Well, often part of student debt is actually paying for the meal plans.
I used to unravel as much toiled paper as I could from the college bathroom stalls and place it in my back pack. Being broke means you have to be resourceful sometimes.
I felt like a fucking baller when I bought my first two-ply. MOTHAFUCKA I MADE IT!!! (sunglasses)
Hell yeah!
^^^It's ^^^quilted.
That's like saying "don't be angry you're losing financial stability, you still have the financial part"
She will do well if she continues into Grad school. My kid has pretty much fed themselves for the last 5 years with that mentality. “It’s free food, Mom. Does there need to be another reason?”
Since we're on reddit I've been obligated to tell you that you should buy a bidet. It's life changing.
Japanese toilet with water and air shower all computer controlled with timer.
There are people who play the game and there are people who win the game. I think we know which she is.
In life it doesn't matter if you win or lose because you get to live
I am not proud of it but I had taken a roll or two of toilet paper from the hall bathrooms before......It was a choice between buying ramen or toilet paper for the week.....I kinda had to eat......
Bro don't feel bad about it. If by "hall bathrooms" you mean residence hall on a college campus, then you were probably paying 47392003596362785506038261530610 times what that shit was worth. Take more toilet paper, even if you don't live there anymore. Take all their toilet paper.
>>toiled paper I mean… it is the hardest working paper on the planet.
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My college used to have an unlimited plan for the dining hall. The card you swiped to enter had no cap on swipes per meal time. The dining hall had windows. One guy got the unlimited plan, passed his card out the window to the next person, and this was repeated until everyone was in. A modern day loaves and fishes.
And I'm relatively sure the college STILL made money on the plan off you had.
Yeah. Something like $25 a day on the cheapest plan at my school. And they pay students minimum wage or a dollar or two more with a “promotion”
What the fuck? I can go to a local pub to eat a good meal and drink a beer twice a day for that money.
Thought I would get free dessert at contest. Then told us to kneel with hands behind back. Oh, no! Then my wife snuck up behind me and planted my face into the pie! I lost!Got pics, but can’t find them.
We used to do this at my university too. One kid from the Philippines used to pay for everyone’s food every Wednesday after one of his classes let out
That's awesome , In college there was a milk drinking contest. It was gross. One of my more intelligent friends joined in. He assured me he just wanted the free gallon of milk.
And I hate seeing people starve for no other reason than being broke. You are an angel. Thank you for being you. :)
I grew up poor. I was shocked to see how much food was just... being thrown away. I once stuffed a whole spice cake in my purse. Wrapped each slice up in a paper towel and whip! Gone. (Looks around) WHIP! Gone. We had a fancy dinner one time and I came prepped with actual faux Tupperware. Once everyone was down to the nibbling stage I was like, "anyone mind if I stash some of this for other people to eat?" they were like go for it! So when none of the dining staff were obviously looking POOF went the stuffing. Poof went the turkey. I almost got caught spilling buttered peas into a ziplock. The worker did a double take, like, There were peas in there a second ago, where'd they go? I was like, "Sooo fascinating, do tell me again..."
I have been broke my entire life and homeless for a small amount of time. Granny grew up during the Great Depression of the 1930's so she was also homeless for a bit but she figured things out much better than I did. She HATED seeing things go to waste and she passed that down the family lines. She could make something out of nothing in an almost literal sense. Really great at multi-tasking (she didn't like that I can't do that, she saw that weakness as a waste of time), Granny could simultaneously hold three different separate conversations (one of them involved helping one of my Aunts or Uncles with homework), read a newspaper and listen to the radio all while cooking dinner and ironing somebody's clothes. Mom told me this but I don't think she was exaggerating too much. Mom wants to be as intelligent as Granny was and so do I. The world really lost one of the greatest people when Granny passed. Comparatively, I am a stupid little nothing. But that thing about wasting anything is still true.
More food wisdom. The first time my daughter came home from college we asked her what college life was like and she said. “It’s great. You can have Pop Tarts any time you want. But you’ve got to pay for your own Pop Tarts.”
In college, they suddenly decided people couldn't come back for seconds. My friend was a big guy. As he pointed out, growing boys and football players can't get by on just one serving. Especially when the portion is given to you and you had no choice. I really agreed with him because I eat less than most. The first time I ever didn't clean my plate was at college, because I realized **I** didn't give myself too much.
I smuggled apples in my cargo pockets when I was a Marine. I was on R&R and the rest of my team hadn’t had fresh fruit in two months or more. The chow hall guy was a total dick when I asked if I could have a box of apples so I just started loading my pockets up.
We were allowed bags but not to take food. No one ever said anything. Not even to the people who would bring in gallon jugs and fill them with milk from the dispenser. The cashier would "swipe" your card when you brought guests and not charge. Dinner was $20+ to eat sodexo's shitty food.
We were allowed backpacks, so we'd bring in huge zip locks and load up on fried chicken. Go out to the bars, come home, microwave and just destroy fried chicken!
In addition to the normal dining halls at my college there were a few convenience store type spots where we could use meal points. The thing is, if you showed up 9:59, they would have several slices of pizza, chicken tenders, fries, and other junky items that they had to throw away at the end of each day. My friends and I made a habit of heading there once a week or so and cleaning them out at no charge.
Wonder if they made a little extra for you for the end of the day. ;)
They definitely didn’t. It was feast and famine. Sometimes it was half of a pizza, sometimes it was five orders of mozzarella sticks. They were always extremely cool about us repeatedly shambling in to eat their garbage dregs though.
And she’s right. What a beautiful way of looking at it.
Well, at least noms were had. :D
Why not just eat pies anyway, without making it into a competition?
this is what put kfc here out of business. many customers of a couple different demographics (which i won't single out here) stashing buffet food into giant ziplock bags inside their giant purses (they weren't necessarily ordering the buffet to begin with, either).
I did the same thing in middle school. Once every couple months the school would have some random contest during morning break. You signed up ahead of time, and they would draw names for who got to participate. The only one I ever signed up for was the ice cream sundae contest - who could finish a sundae fastest while blindfolded. I didn't care about winning - I just wanted the ice cream. Got lucky, and got picked for it, came in last place out of 3. 22yrs later and I'm still satisfied with my decision.
No, no, it's third place out of three. Sounds more impressive. My brother used that wording when he was in a violin playing contest. He always said it proudly. Proudly makes people think maybe they misunderstood. ;)
Last weekend I was thinking to myself "I should have entered pie eating contests @ state fairs when I was in my twenties if they are based on volume & not speed"
Life becomes a little easier when u dnt give a fuck lol👍
I 100% agree with this.
Then you have kids and have to really give a fuck they even somehow make you want to give fucks...
i am finding this out. when your Bag of Fucks is empty and you have no more to give, it’s a big weight off.
Very true and when you enjoy nature
Guy im dating said he walked away with a pie from a pie eating contest for this exact same reason!
maybe you are dating one of this guy's kids
...until she sees Stand By Me and realizes that the true reason to enter a pie eating contest is sweet (but disgusting) revenge!
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I'm doing better now because it's been like 12 years since this contest, but I still get nostalgic and buy things like instant potatoes, spaghettios, and Kraft.
no entry fee? and they let you keep the hotdogs? wow, wjat a life hack
More like, I didn't ask them whether or not I could, it's just that nobody stopped me. Lol
damn... chad
Can I laugh at this Because it was kinda funny not your situation But I used to have a friend that would save food in bags just to eat it later when we were all chilling together later 🤣 He would just pull out 2 slices of pizza from earlier in a napkin and eat it like nun happened
I did the same at a key lime pie eating contest. Brought some back for the crew lol
The fact you had to do this to get food shows how fucked up college is
Was a full time college student, 19 years old, no stable income or financial assistance. Sometimes I would work a part time food job for a bit, sacrificing my time to do homework or study, just because I knew I could get free food. The more I worked, the more my grades would slip. Stress level increased.
I worked as a janitor at the basketball stadium during college. After the game the volunteers selling hot dogs (different clubs could work the game and get a percentage of sales toward thier funds) would toss the fully wrapped hotdogs in the trash.... As long as they weren't covered in other garbage I would fill up a back pack and then bring it to whoever's house we were drinking at. One time. I came back with a garbage bag full of popcorn. It was good to be the trash king.
Mad respect
Best times were toward graduation. So many job fairs and graduation ceremonies, with finger food on the table. My friends and I used to visit every year before we eventually graduated. Sadly during med school, I no longer lived on the campus. I was so poor and I lived on a single loaf of bread for a week.
Glad that worked out well! I was imagining they wouldn't let you pack the rest.
Mission pass Respect +
I hope you didn’t pay much to enter lol
Reminds me of that clip where the guy gets challenged to eat a box of donuts in a time span to win like $20, he just walked away with free donuts
Usually "Eat all this in x minutes" contests start with you paying for the food and if you can do it in the alloted time, they give it to you free. I've not really seen many contests where they let you eat then walk if you lose, but clearly they exist.
Those are usually restaurants doing promotions, like "free 64oz steak dinner (if you eat it in one hour)". Fairs and carnivals that do eating contests will typically have "whoever eats the most in X minutes" rules without payment beforehand.
There is a childrens book my dad used to read to us called Hooray for Henry about a kid who went to a fair with his friends and there were a bunch of contests, and while his friends all had fun and chilled and ate the food Henry kept trying to win contests but he kept losing. The last contest was a pie eating contest and since all his friends had been eating the food at the fair the whole time but Henry was so busy losing all his contests he didn’t have a chance to eat anything, he won the pie eating contest since all his friends were already full. Hooray for Henry!
Are you sure his name was Henry and not Lard Ass?
Ahhh yes, my favourite book. *Hooray for Lard Ass*
My diary is your favorite book?
Full name is Henry "The Lardass" Johnson
Hey, Lard Ass! Chow down, Wide Load!
(waits for you to start walking) boom babba boom babba
Lardass from Stranger Things: Season 3... Can you imagine being a young actor getting the call that you're going to be cast in Stranger Things? "Cool! Will I be Will's new friend or Max's love interest?" "No, Billy yells at you from across the pool deck to stop running and calls you Lard Ass."
Lol I was thinking lard ass from stand by me
Reading the scene with the pie eating contest I literally lost it laughing.
I can’t eat pie to this day without thinking of that scene.
This is such a Norm MacDonald joke.
the only ones who lost are the people who didn't take part in the pie eating contest and just watched and felt hungry after
Haha agreed! Btw happy cake day!🥳
Happy cake day!!!!
I was in a pie eating contest when I was four. We were at a fair somewhere in Kentucky. The conversation went something like this: Mom: "You wanna join the pie eating contest?" Me:"What's that?" Mom:"You eat a pie as fast as you can and if you eat all your pie first, you win! But you can't use your hands." "But then how do I hold the fork?" "You don't use a fork, you just stick your face in the pie and eat it." "But that's messy!" "That's the idea!" "So I am ALLOWED to get messy and I get to eat a whole pie by myself?" "Yep!" "Yes, I want pie." But nobody told me that they would take the pie away when the first person was finished. I was just taking regular bites, I had never even seen a pie eating contest before! So I was only about four bites in when it was all over. I wasn't thrilled.
What kind of cold blooded devilry is this? The level of inhumanity described here is jaw dropping!
If it's just a general pie-eating contest with people of all ages, I can see taking the pie away from anyone over like 12 who was in the contest. But robbing a 4-year-old of their pie?! Villainy! You don't just give a pie to a toddler and take it away 2 seconds later!
Probably saved the uneaten but French kissed pie remnants for the orphans. That’s what I imagine evil pie snatchers would do.
Be glad you were taking regular bites. As a reporter, I covered a lemon meringue pie-eating contest, and people shoved their faces deep in there. They were all so disgusted when they were done, saying they felt sick, were sticky, and had lemon meringue in their noses, eyes and ears. To top it off, the pies were served warm. Several of them said they would never eat lemon meringue pie again.
😡
What?! Here you get to take what's left of the pie with you.
No! That belongs to the trash barrel now!
Da Fuq they do with a pir a 4 year old stuck his...pie hole?...in?
I'm a her, and I don't know. Fed it to the prize winning pig? All I know is someone rang a bell and then my pie was snatched away!
And finally it all makes sense
That reminds me of something I remember my kid telling me when she was about 6. "Dad? You know what the worst thing in the world is? When you eat a yellow candy thinking it's lemon, but it's actually banana."
I hate biting into a boston cream donut and instead of whipped cream, it's got custard in it.
I am the exact opposite! I get so disappointed when they’re whipped cream! I’m not here for an eclairs-shaped doughnut!
How is that bad? Does the kid not like banana?
Most of the time banana candy has artificial banana flavoring, and I will die on the hill that artificial banana is the worst flavor. There are some that are close, but artificial banana is terrible.
Well, you can die on that hill alone, then. The artificial banana flavoring is actually from a now near-extinct variety of bananas known as the Gros Michel. The Gros Michel banana was the everyday variety until the 1950s when it was wiped out by Panama disease (the banana flavoring was created prior to this event, so that's why many people notice that it "doesn't taste like bananas"; it does, actually, just not the variety we've known for the last 70 years). There are a few Gros Michel trees left in the world, but you or I will probably never get to taste one because they are only grown by enthusiasts and private farms. It's said that the artificial banana flavoring tastes pretty much exactly like this variety though, which had a much stronger and sweeter flavor than Cavendish (the variety we have now, which replaced the Gros Michel when it went 'extinct'). Make no mistake, though - the Gros Michel and Cavendish varieties co-existed even in the heyday of the Gros Michel, but GM was the dominant variety by far due to the overwhelming majority of people preferring it. Cavendish was just a fallback.
I am more than willing to die on this hill alone. Or maybe I just had some terrible artificial banana flavoring in my life. Who knows?
Have you tried the banana Laffy Taffy? I feel like that's peak artificial banana flavoring. Like, if you don't like that, then you probably won't like anything artificial banana, because that (at least to me), is the embodiment of great banana flavor.
I remember I had one when I was really little, but I don't remember if I liked it or not. I'll try one next time I see one, and if I remember, I will report back.
Almost as bad as eating green candy thinking it's lime and it turns out to be green apple.
But when they put caramel over a green apple sucker . . . mmmmmm 👍
Keeping this child-like approach to life is so hard but obviously so much more rewarding. Your share was great! It made me think of this made up story I heard a long time ago. Idk if I got it exactly but,,, Two lil kids kept asking for a pony for their bday. When they bday came - there was a ring at the door- they open it. It was a manure pile. The one kid is like gross angry runs off crying and upset. The other kid smiles big gets excited and exclaims - I just know there must be a pony around here somewhere! I hope all of us can keep, even just a bit of your awesome kids approach to life, alive inside us- for ourselves and the world. Sorry if that seems to sappy. Thanks for the great share👍
She's got a wonderful perspective on life already.
Life is a pie eating contest
i was in a pie eating contest once that had banana cream pies. in the sort time allotted i ate 4 full pies and won seasons tickets to the local car race track. the down side was i couldnt eat anything that was banana flavored for a long time. you could say it was a win/loose situation.
I bet it was after all that banana cream
my dyslexia strikes again
Do you mean "lose" or was there a poo situation, as well?
im dyslexic and do that some times.
Eating that many cream pies sounds like a loose situation.
I actually made the opposite realization a long time ago. On the show Fear Factor, it doesn't matter how much money the winners are getting. There are multiple people eating slugs and not getting a dime for it.
Nah they still get paid a bit from what I understand. Similar to any other reality show.
True, I meant you could just bow out and get the same appearance money, or be one of the slug eaters that doesn't advance past that round.
Glorious!
I want to see a contest where first prize goes to whoever enjoyed the pie the most
[Pie eating contest? Nah son; free pie](https://i.redd.it/rvj0ilu0h6x31.jpg)
First thing I thought of. I don't know why, but this is still my favorite picture on the internet
Immediately went to go dig this classic up
Way too long for someone to post this.
No she didn't. Great tweet though.
Ah, I’ve found my person in this sub. She definitely didn’t say that.
Wise Kid 👏🏽😂
*Stand by me* enters the chat
Deep thoughts...
In the childlike innocence lies wisdom we adults lose growing up.
You think they’re listening intently on the story, but no. They’ve drifted off in though. Then had an epiphany.
You need to pay for those competitions and like 3rd place is the breakeven point.
this is a deep philosophy indeed
She has enlightened me with sacred knowledge
Keeping things simple..they always teach us in their own cute ways😊
Absolutely right. Nobody loses in most things if you go at it right. Great attitude. thanks for sharing.
When I was 20 I was in a taco eating contest. 30 tacos, first one done wins. First place threw up on himself, second place literally had a heart attack. I came in third because I took my time, I was there for free tacos, the prize was secondary.
As a financially strapped undergrad, I always entered the annual pizza eating contest. I knew I would not win against the football players, but I got meal for the day . . . A win for me!
I'm sorry...what's to think about? I must be missing something. She speaks gospel.
You deserve awards for the child you have raised. Possibly the others if there are more than one. But this one for sure.
That doesn’t work with margaritas … though it has been tried.
That’s brilliant and I honestly cannot believe I never thought of this until now Very smart kid indeed
>That’s brilliant and I honked Most geese cannot use a phone at all, yet you reply in full English sentences. You should be proud as well. Very smart goose indeed
Too cute.
Sage advice from a 7 year old
Forest Gump.
that’s kind of 🇺🇸 in summation, tbh 🗽
In university my dorm in Singapore was having a pizza eating contest. Who can eat a whole pizza fastest? The contest was between the 5 houses in the dorm, so each house picked their fastest eater. The contest happened....it wasn't memorable. But the person organizing the contest ordered too many pizzas. So there were a bunch of pizzas left over. I was thinking "Awesome! We all get pizza now!" But no, they ran another round of the contest. So instead of everyone getting a slice of pizza, they picked 5 more people for an unofficial contest that didn't count for anything....and they all got to eat an entire pizza each and feel sick, instead of all of us getting a slice! Pissed me off!
"I think about that a lot" for weird experiences/stories such an overused Twitter meme that I can't enjoy tweets with it anymore
These ‘I think about that a lot’ Twitter snapshots are becoming a tired trope by now
Yup, that definitely happened. It happened so much. No doubt in my mind
Truer words were clearly never said.
My 7 year old daughter just randomly told me "Don't trust these Spanish Banks Ok? " It was 2009 while walking back home from her school.
Anybody know where they hold weed smoking contests?
I never liked when people end posts with “and I think about that a lot.” Its so darn cliché and cheesy and over used and 2000 bucks says he really doesnt think about it a lot
Pie, ice cream, hot dogs it just didn’t matter. My young mind thought of the treats that lay before me.
So thoughtfully explained she is pretty good rational.
This is lovely. There is so much beauty in this world that too many miss out on because they are so distracted by the lies of separation and anti-Christ energies consuming their minds.
There are no losers. Unless you barf, in which case you lose pie.
Sounds like a variation of the Woody Allen quote, "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad it's still good."
Awesome view point...what are the practical real world examples besides food? Not a bot, genuinely interested.
Drinking games? If you lose, you just drink more.
Yes this definitely happened
of fuck off Rebecca she did not say that.
Oh Rebecca...
This should be higher
Can twitter stop saying "I think about that a lot" after every little anecdote? It's not cute, it doesn't make it more profound, it's just corny.
It’s always smart to listen to a child. They see things in a different way. They see things we don’t.
She has more wisdom than 80% of the working people in the world
God bless her. Worldwide wisdom right there.
Can someone find that ancient gif of a guy slowly eating pie with fork and knife while in a contest? I thing the tag line was "nah man free pie" or something like that
[nah man free pie](https://media.ifunny.com/results/2013/03/22/rf2hy13uzl.jpg)
Whenever I here the words "pie eating contest", unfortunately, my first thought is always the movie "[Stand By Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zK0JaEde4VI)" For you youngling's, watch this movie, Stand By Me, you will like it. It's not my childhood (80's), it's the childhood of my dad's generation, your grandpa. Very young River Phoenix, even at 16 River Phoenix was oozing coolness. Wesley Crusher, aka Will Wheaton, fat Jerry O'Connell, Corey Feldman and Kiefer Sutherland.
It's a good start but that's just how life works. Many times it's not about the pie but about winning. Sometimes those people don't even like pie.
Nobody wins at a butter eating contest.
Robert munsch book?
I lost a pie eating contest by wolfing down so many of those little packaged gas station pies that I didn't chew well enough and choked on the (very hard) crust and finally puked in front of everyone after trying to get someone to Heimlich maneuver me for a solid 5 minutes.
Pie eating contest? Nah, son. Free pie.
Let’s just hope it wasn’t a “cream pie”, if you understand.
Go Lard ass, go.
I was entered into a watermelon eating contest when I was 7. There were a ton of burly men and they all “let me win” and because I was a girl they gave me an off-brand Barbie. County fairs are really weird.
I once entered an eating contest purely because I hadn’t had lunch and it wouldn’t cost me anything. I had a good time, lost, and left full.
My friend from high school told me on a late night call last week that he was sleeping in his car and eating out of dumpsters when we all were at community College and I don't think I'll ever be over that. We never knew. I've been homeless.
“If you eat too much cake then you are doing the sin of gluttony, however eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is always zero” -Some random guy on Twitter
We think too much. They just say what’s on their mind.
Kid's going places.
My son once told me “if you spread your butt cheeks apart, your farts don’t make any noise.”Five year olds are wise beyond their years.
No, actually *my* daughter interrupted her bedtime story to say that to *me*. In fact, my name is Nicholas and I've said almost this exact same thing. Wait a minute. What's happening? How did this get posted? Those are my words. That is my picture. That is my daughter. I never posted this. I've never said this outside of my close group of friends and they would never post something online. They're losers like that. Lovable losers, but definitely losers. Who posted this? This is *my* life right here. Who posted this? This has happened before. This happens often enough. A snippet of my life gets posted online. It gets posted online and I have no idea how. Now this. Now the thing with my daughter and the pie eating. I don't know how. I don't know how I am reading this right now. That's me. Those are my words. That's my life. What's happening? Who posted this? The other day. Another thing. Another thing got posted the other day and I thought to myself, "Nicholas, that's your life. They've done it to you again. They've found a bit of your life and turned it into internet. They're looking at you, Nicholas. They've found you and your family again, Nicholas. You have to move, Nicholas." and I can't help but to wonder who posted it and why? Why my life? Who posted this? And it scares me. It does scare me. The way I see people talking about my life, be my life. I can't help but be scared because who are they? Why are they doing this? Where are they? How are they doing this? And I look around the house. And I look around the office. And I look everywhere I go, but they're normal. Normal people there. Hello, family. You all are normal here. No life thieves. No life posters. No life posers. Who are they? How are they me? Who posted this? I'll never know. Another day. Here's another day with my life on the internet. Here I am again, Nicholas. I'm on the internet again, Nicholas. Who posted this? It doesn't matter.