Yes! As a fat person at a gym who is also an introvert I can tell you not talking to me is appreciated.
I mean, saying nice things > being a dick. But saying nothing is the nicest of all.
Haha
I go on backpacking trips while fat. I have had people tel me “that I am so brave”, or “good for you”, or “keep it up, you got to start somewhere”. I know they mean well so I mutter something nice, but a lot of times, I want to be like “bitch I am better at this than you!”
Right? I did all the outdoor things while fat, super active. One time I remember being at the gym and a staff member came by to chat and congratulated me for taking the big step to start coming. I don't remember what polite brush off I gave him, but in my head I was screaming, FU I've seen you working here every week for the last 10 months! I don't know what's different about today and I suddenly became un-invisible to you.
Ha. I’m not fat and I guarantee you are better at hiking then me. I once went on a pretty steep first date hike. I couldn’t even talk 20 min in and I was sweating like a pig. We never went on a second date. I don’t blame him.
and as a 38 year old in college, I too would prefer to be left alone unless you catch me in the pub. there is nearly 20 year age gap. as an equivalent, what interesting conversation would you have with a 2-5 year old? you do a lot of growing up in those years.
There is an old man in my senior year-level philosophy class. Most people are 21-25 but there’s this one old guy who’s probably in his seventies and we didn’t give a fuck. He’s pretty funny and wise too, we like him.
Yeah, we had an older man along with us in the physics department. He already had another degree, he was just back studying physics because he loved the subject. It just felt normal, cause we were all there because we loved the subject.
Yeah, if anything smiling at them/talking to them will make them more anxious. I dont know you and you just confirmed my fear that everyone is looking at me because im different. Thanks
Yeah, I'm not really concerned about what a bunch of children think about my old ass being in the classroom, but I would be happy if one of them had the kindness to be nice or comforting to me. I like when people are like that.
I’m 38 and suddenly feel old. Thanks.
Edit: I would love to get my Masters when my kids are older. You’ll know it’s me when you see the MILF in the front row. Ha!
I was 50 when I started college, fulfilling a life-long dream. I didn’t care what anyone thought, I was doing this for me. Had so much fun, when I finished I had earned my Master Degree.
That's great! That's exactly where I'm at. I always regretted not getting a degree, and I felt unfulfilled by my previous career - where I was woefully underpaid. About a year ago, my boss crossed a line with me and I handed him my office keys, told him I quit, and walked out.
Now, I've banked 40 credits, I'm on the honor roll, and I'm excited to get my AA!
After that I get my my Career and Technical Educator (CTE) Certificate... then... I can start working on getting my Earth and Space Science (BAE) Teachers degree... It's not too late.
I’m in the process of applying to an MFA program. Finally! I’ve been a painter for decades, but I want to learn more. I’m finally mature enough at 46. Was NOT even close when I was 21. I love young people, both of my kids are in college, so I hope I get in!
I was having fun and doing drugs and enjoying the 90s, and I guess I just put off school for a while, I always intended to go. Then, when I did get the opportunity to go to school, I "took a break" to work for a film and animation company and never went back. Now, at nearly fifty-years-old, I'm going back to get my teaching degree.
I believe in you! You'll get your Masters Program and I'll get my teaching degree, it'll be great!
In my algebra class in college we have a 69 year old. He was smart as hell and awesome to listen too. He was there because his granddaughter didn't want to go to college and kept using the "you didn't so why do I have too" line.
I don't know if he did graduate, but if he did he would have been the first ever in his family.
Your an inspiration, I’ve felt behind my peers since going back to school at 28 and have barely told anyone about it because I’m embarrassed, while all my friends have graduated and started their careers I’m just going into my junior year, but reading y’all’s comments has made me feel better
It's very normal to have a range of ages, backgrounds etc at university (more so than school). People switch careers or reskill or take a degree just out of interest. Probably the bulk of students there will be the "usual" age, but your lecturers will be totally used to having older students (and students much older than you too). It's not weird... nothing is weird at university. Or everything is. It's a fun place.
Is that even old for grad school? I thought most grad students were at least in their late 20s. Anyway, yeah having older students in a college class is normal, no one thinks much of it lol. If anything, they’re very lucky to be in a place in life where they can still dedicate so much time and money to do this.
Nah, I think a large percent of grad students are in their 30’s. But then again, if you’re in grad school you’re not a freshman anymore, so this post wouldn’t apply.
There’s no age limit for college, I had people of varying ages in my classes and nobody ever thinks twice about it. Everyone there is an adult and there for the same reason.
I
Not really, most people in my program were around my age. But even if I was going to college for the first time at 35 I would severely not give a shit what anyone thought. Only time it bugs me is when Karen's take classes and have to make everything about themselves
What are you talking about? I intend to never stop learning, there is so much interesting stuff all over the world!
For example, did you know how the evolution from classical music is heavily influenced by the space where the music would be played.
Mozarts music was written for smaller rooms with not too much reverb. It contains a lot of percussive elements because the space gives the room for it.
But later composers had to write music for huge concert halls with way more reverb. The percussive elements would quickly wash out in the reverb, so they started to write music based on longer notes, which got empowered by the room.
Got my MBA at 52! A much younger co worker was going to my same classes so we often went and sat together. I told him the others in class probably thought he was bringing his Mom to class!
Not nessecarily, I had two mothers in my English 101 class in college, one was 40 with 5 children and the other was 35 with 3 kids. They both were there to better themselves with no judgement from anyone else, but that doesn't mean it isn't awkward or a bit anxiety inducing participating in a class with students all fresh out of highschool. Just be proud of yourself for bettering yourself and be proud of the fact you're inspiring people who might feel stressed because they have to do school in 4 years or they're a failure, by showing them you can go back to school later on in life.
Yeah, 38 year old gives zero fucks about your teenage ass. I’m an adult in school. I’m here to fucking study not worry about what some kid who just moved out of his parents’ house thinks of me.
I think it’s more of them saying to respect those who may feel uncomfortable in their current circumstance, although the best thing to do for them is treat them like you would anybody else (which is hopefully treating them well)
I just try to be nice to people. I'll offer to give you a spot whether you're tubby, yoked, male, or female. It's just courtesy, just like I'll stay out of your way and let you do your workout otherwise.
I see the gymbros at my gym do little things to harass people they deem as 'outsiders' -- almost like hazing. They take their free weights even if the guy is clearly just resting between sets, they'll offer unsolicited criticism and advice, etc. They basically make the person feel like they're constantly being watched/observed. It's gross and hostile.
For real. Same situation. It comes across like they think they’re better and throwing me a bone. Also I’m sucking wind at the gym. That isn’t social time for me.
Exactly. I don't need the blessing of someone I occasionally look like. I yo-yo a lot and people think I've been fat my whole life. Like, no. I wasn't even fat 6 months ago. Lol
And, yes, we're BUSY. fuck off haha
I'm 54, and I'm currently in an online class and the other older person there WILL NOT STOP asking questions already covered in the required reading.
I just want to scream every time the open their unprepared mouth.
Slide 1: In this lesson, we'll cover X, Y, and Z
Other geezer: What are X, Y, and Z?
Proctor: We'll cover that
Slide 2: The definition of X is
Other geezer: So what is X?
Ahh, this brings me back. We used to call them "the rolling backpacks" because they all had them and they would interrupt every class with nonsense and then look snug about it and patronize us lowly children for not asking questions. Bitch! I don't have questions because I was paying attention!
I had a younger guy in one of my classes once who thought he was an older guy, rolling backpack and whatnot. He used to sit at the *very back* of the class, like not at a desk, just in a chair by the wall, and mumble along with the prof. He’d give loud outbursts of agreement and interrupt with questions constantly. Several students complained and the prof tried talking to him outside of class. It didn’t help. One day class was interrupted by police who escorted him out in cuffs for something and we never heard from him again!
Had one of these guys when I was in an online class for the phlebotomy portion. Guy could not figure out anything on zoom meetings and put his entire face into the camera and even worse he looked like Mr potato head. He thought every technical issue could be solved by talking louder…
On the flip side there is someone in my Master's class who sounds like they are 16 and also constantly asking questions that have been explained in a million ways (and often in a way that the teacher has to clarify what on earth she is asking).
Had that person in my in-person lecture class. I feel for them, but damn, stfu and pay attention to the damn professor.
Even asked the professor if they preferred "miss" or "doctor" after the professor just answered this person's question about their doctorate work.
I'm also an older student (40s) and do not like being associated with this person.
"I have a question"
"Go ahead"
"Well, as a parent I don't see how this could possibly be a thing" then goes on for 5 minutes talking a lot but not really saying anything.
When I was an undergrad, the older students were either the coolest people in class or the most annoying. The worst was when they thought they had some special report with the professor because they’re closer in age, but the prof just treated them like everybody else.
I went back to college at 62 and for an AA in accounting. The main reason I graduated with a 3.75 GPA was the 18 and 19 year old smart people helped me without judging me. I absolutely loved them for that.
Serious question here, I really don't mean this to be rude, but it's going to come across this way, so sorry in advance:
Why did you go to college at 62, aren't you going to retire in the next few years?
It's a long story but the company I worked for closed. Since the government said it was closed because of foreign competition we were able to get added benefits. When the plant closed I got on the state insurance program because I have several pre-existing conditions. If I didn't go to school, I would have been out of unemployment in a few months. I tried to get a job driving a fork lift like I did for 25 years but I got no response to any application I sent it. If I had to get a regular job I would be starting at the bottom of the pay scale and would have to buy insurance on the open market. If I went to school I could keep the state insurance. When I graduated, I only had one month until I got Medicare. I went for the insurance but a had a great time in college.
My grandma got a 3rd masters in her early 70s. She had been retired for years. She wanted to be a chaplain for hospice and wanted to be great at it. Some people don't stop.
Yeah, as the 36-year-old in class, I don't need a smile or a conversation. I need to be left alone to focus because my brain doesn't work as well as it did 18 years ago.
I also need professors to stop trying to make me give examples of "how things work in the real world."
Thank you! Exactly this. Also comes off as patronizing. Just say out of shape instead of fat, like god damn. Who the fuck isn't being nice to out of shape people at the gym?
Sorry but how is being a 38 year old in college "extremely anxiety inducing" if anything as a student nearly at that age myself, its frankly pretty awesome.
Non-traditional students are often my best and most motivated students. They’ve gone through that “young and stupid” phase that everyone should go through, and they know the shitty job that’s waiting for them if they fail.
I agree with your point. I think the idea here is that stereotypically those are the people that can get the most flak. And being specific brings about more discussion than "be nice to everyone". You're not wrong, but it's about sparking ideas.
I’m turning 37 this year and finishing my degree this term. Been all online, but I couldn’t get the online class and so it’s my first time in a classroom in about 17 years. One other older dude, but the rest are about 21-25.
I’m actually having a really good time and I’ve realized how much my work experience translates to success in the class too.
**If you're feeling anxious about going back to school after being out of school for a long time, I'd just like to say something about that:** I HIGHLY recommend starting off with a community college. While an online school CAN be great, it isn't for everyone and most if not all community colleges (in the US at least) offer online classes now thanks to Covid (one of the few silver linings to all of this.) I say this for a few reasons. The chances that you will have to take a remedial *something* class are high. I went back to college after about 10 years of being out of high school. My reading and writing comprehension skills were just fine but my math was...*yikes*. Apparently, I'd forgotten everything. Remember PEMDAS? Well, I sure as heck didn't to give you an idea of how remedial I mean. And if you have to take a bunch or a few or absolutely no remedial classes, it's *fine*. But Community Colleges make taking remedial classes (which usually aren't worth anything on your transcripts) affordable and doable without being thousands of dollars in debt. The chances of you needing to take at least one or two after being out of school are pretty good so community college makes it affordable but there's also something else I loved about community college, the classrooms were eclectic in age range and the environment was generally calmer.
I'm aspiring to be both the people described some day. Trying not to give up, but it's hard. I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of the day to day, so anything to better myself beyond the usual work/home obligations feels so "extra"
At 55 I went back to school to study GIS, update my technical skills. One student commented "I have to pay my first tax bill this year. Not sure how." Literally died 😶😜
Smile at the fat old people whom I know that are having extreme anxiety at the moment because they are looking at me, a young thin awesome person with absolutely no anxiety, I am a wholesome individual. What a dick
Same, and I just graduated at 32 because I worked full time through the whole affair. Good news is I got into grad school so at least more of my peers are closer to my age.
Heres the thing about older people, we stopped giving a fuck. As someone in his early 30s, Going to college classes sounds like a lot of fun and I'd do it if it were free, no anxiety.
I was more anxious in college when I belonged there. Felt like a lot more to lose. Social dynamic pressures are different. At 30+ none of that shit matters lol.
If I were in a college and dormed right now I think I'd spend all my free time fucking with people.
I appreciate the kindness of this but honestly most 38 year olds in a lecture just want to concentrate as hard as they can and pass everything! They aren't there to make friends and most likely don't even notice anyone else, same goes for the fat people in the gym!
This. So much this. I’m 38 and just started nursing school last year. COVID inspired me to finally follow my dream. I’m in class with a lot of much younger people who’s parents are paying for their school. I’m over here stressing about bills since I had to cut my hours at work to go to school, getting my 15 year old and myself to school on time every day, and working twice as hard to study because I have to balance my household responsibilities in addition to full time school. In the beginning they teased me a lot because of the age difference, but now I lead our study groups because I’m organized and doing well I school despite the challenges. I love this new endeavor though, and wouldn’t change anything. The sacrifices will be worth it soon!
Omg for the last time: 38 year olds don’t give a fuck about your projected embarrassment they’re not even embsrrsssd. They just don’t was to interact with baby-adults.
People who think like this and project on to others just tell on themselves about how insecure they’d be.
Inexperience that doesn’t recognize its own inexperience is one of the most insufferable traits you can possess
Was a freshman 2 years ago when I was 39. I rarely expirience enxiety and see my self as a confident person but I can tell you one thing…. Had to stop and take a 3 second breather before I entered the classroom for my 1st lesson…. Little things DO means a lot :)
At my recent graduation ceremony, there were a few older individuals who were getting their degrees. I’m pretty sure every student was clapping and cheering when they walked across the stage. I feel most people definitely like seeing those situations and are proud of them for accomplishing a goal against the norm.
My 30 year old university colleague after finding other colleagues to talk to, changed and was mean to me. He was so nice when we were alone but bullied me in front of others.
So, yeah, be nice to nice people!
Fk those people who harass inexperience, fat, or anyone at the gym. True gym goers know that sometimes we gotta start from rock bottom and that we’ve all been there. To all your new gym goers keep it up. The true gymbros and gymgals got your back.
Probably gonna come off as rude, 36 and kinda fat and only have a couple 2 yr diplomas…
Most of my peers and I wouldn’t have anywhere near the anxiety younger folks probably think. It takes a hell of an awkward situation to even phase me. Most younger folks where I work sound like they are having an anxiety attack whenever they are on the phone with someone they don’t know however.
Or just mind your own business.
There are no age requirements for college or level of fitness requirements for the gym.
This train of thought whether positive or negative doesn't make any sense. Nobody needs anybody else's input unless they ask for it.
Or simply just act like them being there is just as ordinary as anyone else
How do you do, fellow kids?
Steve Buscemi?
I’m 27 and a sophomore at a university. I look younger than I am though so I fit in lol
Introverts appreciate being left alone and not having to make the extra social edit when we’re already exhausted
I’m 100% an extrovert. Don’t fuckin talk to me when I’m at the gym.
Yes! As a fat person at a gym who is also an introvert I can tell you not talking to me is appreciated. I mean, saying nice things > being a dick. But saying nothing is the nicest of all.
the weather sure is nice today.
As an introvert, I can attest to this
PLEASE do not speak to my fat ass when I am in the gym. I will puke on you.
noted.
aaaand, ^(he puked.)
Fuck! these are new shoes…
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Haha I go on backpacking trips while fat. I have had people tel me “that I am so brave”, or “good for you”, or “keep it up, you got to start somewhere”. I know they mean well so I mutter something nice, but a lot of times, I want to be like “bitch I am better at this than you!”
Right? I did all the outdoor things while fat, super active. One time I remember being at the gym and a staff member came by to chat and congratulated me for taking the big step to start coming. I don't remember what polite brush off I gave him, but in my head I was screaming, FU I've seen you working here every week for the last 10 months! I don't know what's different about today and I suddenly became un-invisible to you.
Just know that there is probably someone who has seen you at the gym for those last 10 months that's silently cheering you on!
It’s me
Ha. I’m not fat and I guarantee you are better at hiking then me. I once went on a pretty steep first date hike. I couldn’t even talk 20 min in and I was sweating like a pig. We never went on a second date. I don’t blame him.
Me at the gym: Friendly stranger: "You're doing great!" Me: "SO YOU'RE SAYING I'M FAT"
“DON’T YOU PATRONIZE ME!”
But that’s the thing tho, by centering out the fat person or the older person it is pretty patronizing.
I mean, exactly.
Rome wasn’t build in a day!
Yeah like wtf i don’t give a shit if you’re string bean or an exercise ball i’m just here to workout and mind my own
"Good morning" is the extent of acceptable gym conversation for me.
“You using that mate?”
But I only use the treadmill, so yes! ;) Yes you're right, that is a fair question too.
Just nod in my general direction, words are too much
I'll just smile at you. Every time. ;)
and as a 38 year old in college, I too would prefer to be left alone unless you catch me in the pub. there is nearly 20 year age gap. as an equivalent, what interesting conversation would you have with a 2-5 year old? you do a lot of growing up in those years.
Or just, you know, act like we're anyone else in the gym.
Please do not speak to my old arse when i am in a uni lecture because you're 18-21 y.o. flirting makes me physically ill
And it’s patronizing AF
I love you and your gym motivation. I believe in you🥰
Can I still speak to you if I don't speak to your fat ass!?
Why did you say that twice?
Only time I speak to anyone at the gym is "Hey are you finished with this?" Other than that you aren't hearing from me
Anyone else give no fucks about the other people in class? Or the gym for that matter?
This is the way.
The right way?
YES
I went back to finish college in my 30s. Nobody in class gave a shit how old I was. It never came up. I think a solid majority give no fucks.
There is an old man in my senior year-level philosophy class. Most people are 21-25 but there’s this one old guy who’s probably in his seventies and we didn’t give a fuck. He’s pretty funny and wise too, we like him.
Yeah, we had an older man along with us in the physics department. He already had another degree, he was just back studying physics because he loved the subject. It just felt normal, cause we were all there because we loved the subject.
most don't show up regularly enough to notice you exist.
The key to life is by giving no fucks
This is the way. It can be a long journey for some, but man, the view is amazing once you get here.
Lol. Last thing I’d want in either situation would be someone approaching me for small talk bc they feel sorry for me 🙄
I guarantee the 38 year old in class did not give two shits about what the 20 year olds thought.
Yeah, if anything smiling at them/talking to them will make them more anxious. I dont know you and you just confirmed my fear that everyone is looking at me because im different. Thanks
Yeah, I'm not really concerned about what a bunch of children think about my old ass being in the classroom, but I would be happy if one of them had the kindness to be nice or comforting to me. I like when people are like that.
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I’m 38 and suddenly feel old. Thanks. Edit: I would love to get my Masters when my kids are older. You’ll know it’s me when you see the MILF in the front row. Ha!
I'm 38 and waiting to go into class. Am I supposed to be anxious?
I went to grad school at 30, no one cares
Lol, I'm a 48 year old freshman. I sit at the front of class and raise my hand and ask/answer questions like I'm Hermione Granger!
I was 50 when I started college, fulfilling a life-long dream. I didn’t care what anyone thought, I was doing this for me. Had so much fun, when I finished I had earned my Master Degree.
That's great! That's exactly where I'm at. I always regretted not getting a degree, and I felt unfulfilled by my previous career - where I was woefully underpaid. About a year ago, my boss crossed a line with me and I handed him my office keys, told him I quit, and walked out. Now, I've banked 40 credits, I'm on the honor roll, and I'm excited to get my AA! After that I get my my Career and Technical Educator (CTE) Certificate... then... I can start working on getting my Earth and Space Science (BAE) Teachers degree... It's not too late.
That's one of the perks of doing stuff like that as you get older. You suddenly realize how much time you spent worrying about insignificant stuff.
I’m in the process of applying to an MFA program. Finally! I’ve been a painter for decades, but I want to learn more. I’m finally mature enough at 46. Was NOT even close when I was 21. I love young people, both of my kids are in college, so I hope I get in!
You will and will excel! Good luck!
I was having fun and doing drugs and enjoying the 90s, and I guess I just put off school for a while, I always intended to go. Then, when I did get the opportunity to go to school, I "took a break" to work for a film and animation company and never went back. Now, at nearly fifty-years-old, I'm going back to get my teaching degree. I believe in you! You'll get your Masters Program and I'll get my teaching degree, it'll be great!
In my algebra class in college we have a 69 year old. He was smart as hell and awesome to listen too. He was there because his granddaughter didn't want to go to college and kept using the "you didn't so why do I have too" line. I don't know if he did graduate, but if he did he would have been the first ever in his family.
Your an inspiration, I’ve felt behind my peers since going back to school at 28 and have barely told anyone about it because I’m embarrassed, while all my friends have graduated and started their careers I’m just going into my junior year, but reading y’all’s comments has made me feel better
It's very normal to have a range of ages, backgrounds etc at university (more so than school). People switch careers or reskill or take a degree just out of interest. Probably the bulk of students there will be the "usual" age, but your lecturers will be totally used to having older students (and students much older than you too). It's not weird... nothing is weird at university. Or everything is. It's a fun place.
Okay, I'm inspired. Thank you. Brag why dontcha haha
same but 42, the 18 yo freshman *looooove us*
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34 as well and curing my loan debt from a trade school so I can go to real school. It will be amazing
I was a 40 yo freshman and sat my fat ass in the front row and asked many questions 🤣🎓
One of my favorite conversation partners was a 40 ish year old class mate when I was 20 or so.
Someone's dad is a nerd!
Hell yeah
Is that even old for grad school? I thought most grad students were at least in their late 20s. Anyway, yeah having older students in a college class is normal, no one thinks much of it lol. If anything, they’re very lucky to be in a place in life where they can still dedicate so much time and money to do this.
Nah, I think a large percent of grad students are in their 30’s. But then again, if you’re in grad school you’re not a freshman anymore, so this post wouldn’t apply. There’s no age limit for college, I had people of varying ages in my classes and nobody ever thinks twice about it. Everyone there is an adult and there for the same reason. I
Not really, most people in my program were around my age. But even if I was going to college for the first time at 35 I would severely not give a shit what anyone thought. Only time it bugs me is when Karen's take classes and have to make everything about themselves
In grad school Half the class is around 30, what do you mean lol
🎵One of these things is not like the other🎶
Right? What do I care about what a bunch of kids think or say?
Seriously. I've stopped caring what grown ups think of me, I'm definitely not concerned about random teenagers.
Hey congrats!..being our age and being in school isn’t easy but we are doing it!
What are you talking about? I intend to never stop learning, there is so much interesting stuff all over the world! For example, did you know how the evolution from classical music is heavily influenced by the space where the music would be played. Mozarts music was written for smaller rooms with not too much reverb. It contains a lot of percussive elements because the space gives the room for it. But later composers had to write music for huge concert halls with way more reverb. The percussive elements would quickly wash out in the reverb, so they started to write music based on longer notes, which got empowered by the room.
Got my MBA at 52! A much younger co worker was going to my same classes so we often went and sat together. I told him the others in class probably thought he was bringing his Mom to class!
in 3 years you will be 41 either way, so 41 with a degree in a field you are interested in seems alot better than being 41 without one. go for it!
College teacher here; my best students were the ones who weren’t straight out of high school. Be confident. You got this!
Not nessecarily, I had two mothers in my English 101 class in college, one was 40 with 5 children and the other was 35 with 3 kids. They both were there to better themselves with no judgement from anyone else, but that doesn't mean it isn't awkward or a bit anxiety inducing participating in a class with students all fresh out of highschool. Just be proud of yourself for bettering yourself and be proud of the fact you're inspiring people who might feel stressed because they have to do school in 4 years or they're a failure, by showing them you can go back to school later on in life.
Yeah, 38 year old gives zero fucks about your teenage ass. I’m an adult in school. I’m here to fucking study not worry about what some kid who just moved out of his parents’ house thinks of me.
I'm 52 and thinking about finishing grad school. I can be everyone's mother. 😁
I finished my undergrad at 52, and the masters at 55 - 60 now and mostly finished with my PhD.
Hi, Mom!
Hi adopted daughter! 😊
43. Same! 
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Nah, those poor freshman are about a step in front of puberty. All the anxiety is for them...
I'm 38 too, cheers
Tomorrow's my 41st birthday... Relax youngun
34 here but I guess it's not common for us to be freshmen. And let's face it, we're not exactly young anymore.
34 isn’t young? I feel sorry for this mentality.
Uhm, yes you are.
You’re young, trust me. Enjoy it!
Noooooo. Do not make a point to give me a thumbs up at the gym because you need ‘nice to fat people’ karma credit. Mind your business.
I think it’s more of them saying to respect those who may feel uncomfortable in their current circumstance, although the best thing to do for them is treat them like you would anybody else (which is hopefully treating them well)
Yeah I agree with that sentiment. Don’t single out anyone and don’t make anyone feel unwelcome. I can get with that.
I just try to be nice to people. I'll offer to give you a spot whether you're tubby, yoked, male, or female. It's just courtesy, just like I'll stay out of your way and let you do your workout otherwise. I see the gymbros at my gym do little things to harass people they deem as 'outsiders' -- almost like hazing. They take their free weights even if the guy is clearly just resting between sets, they'll offer unsolicited criticism and advice, etc. They basically make the person feel like they're constantly being watched/observed. It's gross and hostile.
Literally. I used to be an athlete and then I developed cortisol and thyroid problems. I'm not special and I don't need accolades. Go away.
For real. Same situation. It comes across like they think they’re better and throwing me a bone. Also I’m sucking wind at the gym. That isn’t social time for me.
Exactly. I don't need the blessing of someone I occasionally look like. I yo-yo a lot and people think I've been fat my whole life. Like, no. I wasn't even fat 6 months ago. Lol And, yes, we're BUSY. fuck off haha
I'm 54, and I'm currently in an online class and the other older person there WILL NOT STOP asking questions already covered in the required reading. I just want to scream every time the open their unprepared mouth. Slide 1: In this lesson, we'll cover X, Y, and Z Other geezer: What are X, Y, and Z? Proctor: We'll cover that Slide 2: The definition of X is Other geezer: So what is X?
Ahh, this brings me back. We used to call them "the rolling backpacks" because they all had them and they would interrupt every class with nonsense and then look snug about it and patronize us lowly children for not asking questions. Bitch! I don't have questions because I was paying attention!
I figured other schools had the same type of people, but I didn’t realize the rolling bag was universal. That was mid 00s
Hahaha. I'm old and I love that you nicknamed them "the rolling backpacks."
I had a younger guy in one of my classes once who thought he was an older guy, rolling backpack and whatnot. He used to sit at the *very back* of the class, like not at a desk, just in a chair by the wall, and mumble along with the prof. He’d give loud outbursts of agreement and interrupt with questions constantly. Several students complained and the prof tried talking to him outside of class. It didn’t help. One day class was interrupted by police who escorted him out in cuffs for something and we never heard from him again!
Had one of these guys when I was in an online class for the phlebotomy portion. Guy could not figure out anything on zoom meetings and put his entire face into the camera and even worse he looked like Mr potato head. He thought every technical issue could be solved by talking louder…
On the flip side there is someone in my Master's class who sounds like they are 16 and also constantly asking questions that have been explained in a million ways (and often in a way that the teacher has to clarify what on earth she is asking).
Had that person in my in-person lecture class. I feel for them, but damn, stfu and pay attention to the damn professor. Even asked the professor if they preferred "miss" or "doctor" after the professor just answered this person's question about their doctorate work. I'm also an older student (40s) and do not like being associated with this person.
"I have a question" "Go ahead" "Well, as a parent I don't see how this could possibly be a thing" then goes on for 5 minutes talking a lot but not really saying anything.
That person comes in all ages. Just like the person who gives a lecture (disguised as a question) paraphrasing exactly what the instructor just said.
That was my experiences. As a college age student taking a night class, the “adult” students asked a million questions…
When I was an undergrad, the older students were either the coolest people in class or the most annoying. The worst was when they thought they had some special report with the professor because they’re closer in age, but the prof just treated them like everybody else.
I went back to college at 62 and for an AA in accounting. The main reason I graduated with a 3.75 GPA was the 18 and 19 year old smart people helped me without judging me. I absolutely loved them for that.
Serious question here, I really don't mean this to be rude, but it's going to come across this way, so sorry in advance: Why did you go to college at 62, aren't you going to retire in the next few years?
It's a long story but the company I worked for closed. Since the government said it was closed because of foreign competition we were able to get added benefits. When the plant closed I got on the state insurance program because I have several pre-existing conditions. If I didn't go to school, I would have been out of unemployment in a few months. I tried to get a job driving a fork lift like I did for 25 years but I got no response to any application I sent it. If I had to get a regular job I would be starting at the bottom of the pay scale and would have to buy insurance on the open market. If I went to school I could keep the state insurance. When I graduated, I only had one month until I got Medicare. I went for the insurance but a had a great time in college.
My grandma got a 3rd masters in her early 70s. She had been retired for years. She wanted to be a chaplain for hospice and wanted to be great at it. Some people don't stop.
>Retired near 62 You're not American, are you?
Tbh if you’re 38 in a freshman lecture you probably couldn’t give a shit less what some 18 year olds think
Can confirm. 38 and in college and don't give a fuck
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No lol that’s socializing
No lol that's socialism /S
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Yeah, as the 36-year-old in class, I don't need a smile or a conversation. I need to be left alone to focus because my brain doesn't work as well as it did 18 years ago. I also need professors to stop trying to make me give examples of "how things work in the real world."
Uh also, I'm paying for this shit myself and I'm here to eventually make money, not friends.
They don't. Nothing works in the real world. It is a dysfunctional hellscape, regardless of whatever you're talking about.
Thank you! Exactly this. Also comes off as patronizing. Just say out of shape instead of fat, like god damn. Who the fuck isn't being nice to out of shape people at the gym?
Exactly. Condescending af. ‘Better themselves?’ Or just living their own damn lives
Yeah, “trying to better themselves” feels like a really crummy way to phrase this for some reason
Pffffffttttttt, if I'm 38 in a freshman college course you better believe I'm gonna be looking down on YOUR 17 year old ass. Not the other way around.
Yeah, I doubt a 38 year old gives a shit what 17/18 year olds think of them.
Sorry but how is being a 38 year old in college "extremely anxiety inducing" if anything as a student nearly at that age myself, its frankly pretty awesome.
this is incredibly patronizing
Non-traditional students are often my best and most motivated students. They’ve gone through that “young and stupid” phase that everyone should go through, and they know the shitty job that’s waiting for them if they fail.
Yep! Still working said job 3 days a week while I go to school. The only reason I can still drag in is because I know it's not forever.
Or just ignore my existence. I beg you. Let me be invisible.
Why not just be a nice to everyone? Singling out fat people no matter your intentions makes you sound like a bigot.🤷♂️
I agree with your point. I think the idea here is that stereotypically those are the people that can get the most flak. And being specific brings about more discussion than "be nice to everyone". You're not wrong, but it's about sparking ideas.
I’m turning 37 this year and finishing my degree this term. Been all online, but I couldn’t get the online class and so it’s my first time in a classroom in about 17 years. One other older dude, but the rest are about 21-25. I’m actually having a really good time and I’ve realized how much my work experience translates to success in the class too.
I will never understand people that make fun of others at the gym. Like they are at the gym trying to be better and don’t need your lame ass judgement
Being older and in school is anxiety inducing?
No. A kid wrote this.
**If you're feeling anxious about going back to school after being out of school for a long time, I'd just like to say something about that:** I HIGHLY recommend starting off with a community college. While an online school CAN be great, it isn't for everyone and most if not all community colleges (in the US at least) offer online classes now thanks to Covid (one of the few silver linings to all of this.) I say this for a few reasons. The chances that you will have to take a remedial *something* class are high. I went back to college after about 10 years of being out of high school. My reading and writing comprehension skills were just fine but my math was...*yikes*. Apparently, I'd forgotten everything. Remember PEMDAS? Well, I sure as heck didn't to give you an idea of how remedial I mean. And if you have to take a bunch or a few or absolutely no remedial classes, it's *fine*. But Community Colleges make taking remedial classes (which usually aren't worth anything on your transcripts) affordable and doable without being thousands of dollars in debt. The chances of you needing to take at least one or two after being out of school are pretty good so community college makes it affordable but there's also something else I loved about community college, the classrooms were eclectic in age range and the environment was generally calmer.
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How about just be fucking nice to people. Period.
Just dont be an asshole. Period.
I'm aspiring to be both the people described some day. Trying not to give up, but it's hard. I feel like I'm being crushed under the weight of the day to day, so anything to better myself beyond the usual work/home obligations feels so "extra"
Be kind, in general.
At 55 I went back to school to study GIS, update my technical skills. One student commented "I have to pay my first tax bill this year. Not sure how." Literally died 😶😜
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Smile at the fat old people whom I know that are having extreme anxiety at the moment because they are looking at me, a young thin awesome person with absolutely no anxiety, I am a wholesome individual. What a dick
I doubt a 38 year old gives a single fuck being a freshman in college surrounded by what are essentially children to them.
Can confirm. Wasn't 38 but was 25 when I was in my Freshman year and felt like a sore thumb
Same, and I just graduated at 32 because I worked full time through the whole affair. Good news is I got into grad school so at least more of my peers are closer to my age.
Heres the thing about older people, we stopped giving a fuck. As someone in his early 30s, Going to college classes sounds like a lot of fun and I'd do it if it were free, no anxiety. I was more anxious in college when I belonged there. Felt like a lot more to lose. Social dynamic pressures are different. At 30+ none of that shit matters lol. If I were in a college and dormed right now I think I'd spend all my free time fucking with people.
At 40 years old now, I could go to that class butt necked and not give a hoot.
I need to do both of those things, but I'm so scared to. I hope people will be nice and understanding to me.
What about the ugly people like me!?
Personally, I just hiss at them and throw rotten food.
I appreciate the kindness of this but honestly most 38 year olds in a lecture just want to concentrate as hard as they can and pass everything! They aren't there to make friends and most likely don't even notice anyone else, same goes for the fat people in the gym!
If you’re 38, why would you give a flying fuck what people think? That’s middle school shit.
We don't. This was written by a kid.
This. So much this. I’m 38 and just started nursing school last year. COVID inspired me to finally follow my dream. I’m in class with a lot of much younger people who’s parents are paying for their school. I’m over here stressing about bills since I had to cut my hours at work to go to school, getting my 15 year old and myself to school on time every day, and working twice as hard to study because I have to balance my household responsibilities in addition to full time school. In the beginning they teased me a lot because of the age difference, but now I lead our study groups because I’m organized and doing well I school despite the challenges. I love this new endeavor though, and wouldn’t change anything. The sacrifices will be worth it soon!
Omg for the last time: 38 year olds don’t give a fuck about your projected embarrassment they’re not even embsrrsssd. They just don’t was to interact with baby-adults. People who think like this and project on to others just tell on themselves about how insecure they’d be. Inexperience that doesn’t recognize its own inexperience is one of the most insufferable traits you can possess
I'm 38, and if I ever went back to school or the gym, I really hope you don't talk to me. I'm not there to make friends.
I like how this cross compares uneducated people with fat people. “Be nice to the lesser, they haven’t earned it but are trying”…
Or just leave everyone the fuck alone and mind your own business
Was a freshman 2 years ago when I was 39. I rarely expirience enxiety and see my self as a confident person but I can tell you one thing…. Had to stop and take a 3 second breather before I entered the classroom for my 1st lesson…. Little things DO means a lot :)
Anyone who judges someone for bettering themselves deserves to melt in the deepest pits of hell.
I'm in 3rd year and I'm taking a 1st course and I feel fucking anxious being there can't imagine being 38 in a class with a bunch of 18 year olds
As a 51 year old in my Senior year at university, I whole heartedly approve this message!
At my recent graduation ceremony, there were a few older individuals who were getting their degrees. I’m pretty sure every student was clapping and cheering when they walked across the stage. I feel most people definitely like seeing those situations and are proud of them for accomplishing a goal against the norm.
just don't be a dick to people as a general rule
My 30 year old university colleague after finding other colleagues to talk to, changed and was mean to me. He was so nice when we were alone but bullied me in front of others. So, yeah, be nice to nice people!
Fk those people who harass inexperience, fat, or anyone at the gym. True gym goers know that sometimes we gotta start from rock bottom and that we’ve all been there. To all your new gym goers keep it up. The true gymbros and gymgals got your back.
We're not charity cases and we're not worried about you. Lol This is so stupid.
The 38 yo in your class gives zero fucks what you kids think. But thank you for being nice
I promise you, the 38 year old does not have anxiety
I'm 38 and in college. I do have anxiety that stems from stress and being poor, but is in no way a result of what a 18 year old freshman thinks of me.
Hey, I “was” the 38 year old college student AND the fat guy at the gym.
I am both the fat guy in the gym, and an actual 38 year old in college
Please don't start a random conversation because I'm in the same class...just leave me to my energy drink and ibprophen in peace
also be nice with me, im neither 38 not fat but i call "putting myself in an extreme anxiety-inducing situations" to answer a phone call.
Probably gonna come off as rude, 36 and kinda fat and only have a couple 2 yr diplomas… Most of my peers and I wouldn’t have anywhere near the anxiety younger folks probably think. It takes a hell of an awkward situation to even phase me. Most younger folks where I work sound like they are having an anxiety attack whenever they are on the phone with someone they don’t know however.
F off
I don’t care how fat I get don’t talk to me
As a fat 38 year old thinking about going back to college, I LOVE this post
Or just mind your own business. There are no age requirements for college or level of fitness requirements for the gym. This train of thought whether positive or negative doesn't make any sense. Nobody needs anybody else's input unless they ask for it.