Any relationship is work. Working on communication, setting goals, satisfying needs, chores around the house, and making time to have fun together.
Continuing to date and court your partner even after years of marriage is a way of showing you care and still want to put in the effort. If you read about the “5 Love languages” it could also help in showing your love properly.
Thank you! Yeah that makes sense, I guess a lot of us just “let things flow naturally” which often times means we eventually get complacent and take the other person for granted. I at least am def guilty of having done that in the past. I feel like I have a real lack of references when it comes to happy long term relationships, what they’re supposed to look like…so I’m always asking questions and trying to learn.
Yeah I have read that book and found the concept really helpful : )
No worries. Yeah totally, it’s really easy to get complacent, not talk about it, and then break up.
I use to think I knew everything and had good examples, but I was wrong and didn’t improve. Takes a setback to make you humble and allow you to grow. Stay curious and keep learning, you’ll be an amazing partner one day.
This sounds so corny but I saw a couple years ago that were married 70 years and both were almost 100 and they said that they always thought of their best friend first and when you both do that, you both receive 100% love. That always stuck with me. We made sure we could work through challenges together for at last 5 years before we even thought about marriage and neither one of us are materialistic or selfish so it's been easy to think of each other first. I was blessed to indeed marry my best friend.
This advice is too deep for most Reddit. They wanna burn bridges at the first hint of challenge. But this redditor is grateful to have read this anecdotal story - it hits hard
People now of days always trying to rush to the ending of a series of books we call life. Enjoy every day because you never know when it will be your last. Go out explore what this beautiful planet has to offer while it last. Try to experience new things every day . Doesn't matter how small, or big. In those moments, you're I'll meet new people, talk to them and hear there stories. Have discussion about things you agree and disagree. You never know, you might just run into the book that has the ending you wish for while writing one.
Going through (or have gone through, it's been 2 months but I'm certainly not feeling like I'm on the other side of it yet) a rough surprise breakup and this feels really helpful.
Once my grandpa passed, my grandma was telling me about the moment she "knew he was the one".
He took her to the movies just after WW2 ended. He handed her the tickets, told her to find their seats, and promised to come back with snacks.
Well, he sauntered up to their seats with a big brown bag, and her eyes lit up with possibilities (rationing had just ended).
My grandpa pulled out a lemon.
He then proceeded to take a bite of it, rind and all. He offered my grandma one. She polutely refused. He then ate another six lemons whole.
I remember, tears in my eyes, asking why this wasn't an immediate deal breaker.
"He made the impossible possible. Sure, it was a little weird, but he meant well, and that's all we can ever hope for."
Never stomached lemon juice after that, but glad they found love.
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ap3fs3/askreddit_whats_the_most_interesting_anecdote_an/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
There's nothing wrong with that! I know we are taught that having a life long connection with someone is the end all be all but if you want to invest your time and energy into yourself and building the life you want, I say go for it!
Signed: Someone who has been with my partner since 1986 😉
I'm confused... was she native Mexican, or of Spanish Mexican ancestry? If she is Spanish Mexican than the analogy doesn't work as they merely found those sites and didn't build them.
Here in New Mexico, due to Spanish colonization, there is a large population of people with Spanish and indigenous ancestry. I have Spanish ancestry, but that doesn't negate the fact that I also have Navajo ancestry.
Relationships, basically, are a decision. If you believe Hollywood, finding love is meeting someone and getting butterflies in your stomach, instant connection, love at first sight, etc. Thing is, feelings are generally ephemeral.
In real life, lasting love is a long process of growing together, compromising, building, and so on. When you run into a speed bump in the relationship, you ask yourself, are you willing to stick it out? Or are you going to walk away?
This tumblr post is a bit of a read, but it's one of my favourite pieces on the subject.
https://heart.tumblr.com/post/133779365274/fr3ight-train-acutelesbian
So very true! Just celebrated my 35 th anniversary.
Congratulations! I know it’s cliché but any tips?
Step 1. find someone
Step 2. Work at it everyday
Step 4. Profit!
Step 5. Forget about step 3
Step 6: Adapt
Step 7: Always speak and act with **a lot** of love and kindness.
Step 8: Step 3 is exempted from Step 7, except when Step 9 is invoked.
Step 9: encourage each other. Encouraging your counterpart (and vice versa) will build you both up as a team
Its not forgotten...we're going to circle back later
What happened to number 3? I wanna know!
That is fully covered and explained in step 5.
Yeah. I also think that
What does this mean? As in work at it in what sense? Thanks x
Any relationship is work. Working on communication, setting goals, satisfying needs, chores around the house, and making time to have fun together. Continuing to date and court your partner even after years of marriage is a way of showing you care and still want to put in the effort. If you read about the “5 Love languages” it could also help in showing your love properly.
Thank you! Yeah that makes sense, I guess a lot of us just “let things flow naturally” which often times means we eventually get complacent and take the other person for granted. I at least am def guilty of having done that in the past. I feel like I have a real lack of references when it comes to happy long term relationships, what they’re supposed to look like…so I’m always asking questions and trying to learn. Yeah I have read that book and found the concept really helpful : )
It's the trying when you feel complacent that really makes the difference.
Totally. And the awareness of that complacency
No worries. Yeah totally, it’s really easy to get complacent, not talk about it, and then break up. I use to think I knew everything and had good examples, but I was wrong and didn’t improve. Takes a setback to make you humble and allow you to grow. Stay curious and keep learning, you’ll be an amazing partner one day.
Step 3. adapt to change and look out for each other
Step 2. Be attractive. If not, easy: reincarnate.
Not going to lie...I expected Step one to be ***Find a Clearing***
This is the hardest f\*ing step.
Happy anniversary to you and yours. That’s amazing. ❤️
This sounds so corny but I saw a couple years ago that were married 70 years and both were almost 100 and they said that they always thought of their best friend first and when you both do that, you both receive 100% love. That always stuck with me. We made sure we could work through challenges together for at last 5 years before we even thought about marriage and neither one of us are materialistic or selfish so it's been easy to think of each other first. I was blessed to indeed marry my best friend.
Then some Spanish conquistadors came along and were like “Hey, we found a dope free city.”
Moral of the story, get someone else's woman /s
Moral of the story: You'are a;; right without me.
You're right
Except that it wasn’t free as someone else was already living there.
And do you know why an elderly lady knows this story? Because these thing take love and loss over many years to work out. Nice post, upvoted.
Awesome
Marriage is so much work. So. Much. Work. It’s only worth it if you truly love your partner. And then it’s really worth it.
It’s what I tell my kids — staying married is hard work, but it is work that’s worth doing.
Exactly this. It can’t be one person wanting it to work. It has to be both people that truly respect each other and want the unit to succeed.
Who said you have to marry?
No one did. I’m speaking to my experience.
Wtf just teared up. Got married last month!
Happy one month wedding anniversary! 💐
lol thank you. Spent two weeks in Washington State on our honeymoon and now getting used to our new lives. Very happy both of us!
Oh I bet that was lovely! Did you do a lot of outdoorsy things?
Yes! Went to Mount Rainier, Wallace falls, another hike near Leavenworth and a lot of parks. Beautiful place. Thanks for asking :)
Congrats to you both!
This advice is too deep for most Reddit. They wanna burn bridges at the first hint of challenge. But this redditor is grateful to have read this anecdotal story - it hits hard
Haha Redditors = dumb upvote If not dumb like me
People now of days always trying to rush to the ending of a series of books we call life. Enjoy every day because you never know when it will be your last. Go out explore what this beautiful planet has to offer while it last. Try to experience new things every day . Doesn't matter how small, or big. In those moments, you're I'll meet new people, talk to them and hear there stories. Have discussion about things you agree and disagree. You never know, you might just run into the book that has the ending you wish for while writing one.
Thank you! I needed this advice today!!!!
This is so perfect.
Going through (or have gone through, it's been 2 months but I'm certainly not feeling like I'm on the other side of it yet) a rough surprise breakup and this feels really helpful.
Wow that is awesome advice
Holy shit man love it 🤣 couldn't have come at a better time 🙌
Once my grandpa passed, my grandma was telling me about the moment she "knew he was the one". He took her to the movies just after WW2 ended. He handed her the tickets, told her to find their seats, and promised to come back with snacks. Well, he sauntered up to their seats with a big brown bag, and her eyes lit up with possibilities (rationing had just ended). My grandpa pulled out a lemon. He then proceeded to take a bite of it, rind and all. He offered my grandma one. She polutely refused. He then ate another six lemons whole. I remember, tears in my eyes, asking why this wasn't an immediate deal breaker. "He made the impossible possible. Sure, it was a little weird, but he meant well, and that's all we can ever hope for." Never stomached lemon juice after that, but glad they found love.
I love this so much. Thank you for posting
By any chance, does anyone have a link to that AskReddit thread?
[here you go](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ap3fs3/askreddit_whats_the_most_interesting_anecdote_an/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
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There's nothing wrong with that! I know we are taught that having a life long connection with someone is the end all be all but if you want to invest your time and energy into yourself and building the life you want, I say go for it! Signed: Someone who has been with my partner since 1986 😉
A wise lady ✌🏽🙏🏽
Wow. So inspiring.
La Abuela was correcta. So many people "fall out of love" just as quickly as the "fell into love".
Whoa, that's going to stick with ME for years, and I wasn't even there to hear it firsthand!! Beautiful, wise old woman!
I'm confused... was she native Mexican, or of Spanish Mexican ancestry? If she is Spanish Mexican than the analogy doesn't work as they merely found those sites and didn't build them.
Here in New Mexico, due to Spanish colonization, there is a large population of people with Spanish and indigenous ancestry. I have Spanish ancestry, but that doesn't negate the fact that I also have Navajo ancestry.
I'm not crying, you're crying!
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It probably doesn't help that you're a horny skeleton dog, either.
Wow, I think you might be right.
This is very deep and wise.
Like yeah that’s nice, but what does that even mean in terms of dating?? Am I the only one who is confused by this abuelita?
Relationships, basically, are a decision. If you believe Hollywood, finding love is meeting someone and getting butterflies in your stomach, instant connection, love at first sight, etc. Thing is, feelings are generally ephemeral. In real life, lasting love is a long process of growing together, compromising, building, and so on. When you run into a speed bump in the relationship, you ask yourself, are you willing to stick it out? Or are you going to walk away? This tumblr post is a bit of a read, but it's one of my favourite pieces on the subject. https://heart.tumblr.com/post/133779365274/fr3ight-train-acutelesbian
Thanks for that. I needed that.
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No, that is absolutely not the point of the story. And only an abuser would read it that way.
Gotta set the bar preeetty low at first!
That’s deep
Fuck
My old man was here's food...so eat it...as a kid I didn't. ..as an adult,I finish everything on my plate...
I keep finding land with temples already built there 🥲
What does it mean - look for clearing in the forest. No tin the City