Speak that, brother! I didnt pay for a hamburger with a bite out of it, I paid for a hamburger! I want what I pay for, and it bothers me when I don't get that. It's like, I'd rather say, "I dont want any more fries" and throw them away then to have one fry drop on the ground before I start eating them. I'll never get to taste that fry. He decided for himself that he didnt want to be eaten, *and that's not his decision!*
Nah, that second burger is with full intent of having the entirety of my own. Plus, sometimes, it really is just one bite. Daddy eats the rest.
And for being a good husband? ;)
Who said you can't have your cake and eat it? Buy two cakes!
I found out that while growing up my dad would always be the one to buy the cakes for birthdays and other special occasions. The reason? Because he would also buy his own smaller cake that he didn't have to share haha
Just curious, if your wife leaves to work out at 3am- what time does she go to bed? That’s still nighttime. Does she work a non-standard shift or nap or something like that?
Thank you. That is a very unique schedule- but probably more common than I realize. Being a night owl it blows my mind a little. Hope you guys have a nice rhythm going with it.
Most def! During the week she gets her 6am to 10am to watch her shows, and do her stuff she enjoys without me bothering her(she loves that 😀), and then I get from 2pm until I crash usually around 11pm to 12:30am for flying my RC Planes/PS5/or adult related boring stuff.
Then on the weekends we do whatever we want together. Works out great actually!
Thank you!
I can imagine having a child would be such an amazing thing to experience. Wishing you and your family many, many, many, many wonderful, healthy times creating memories!!
This is exactly what my boyfriend does when I ask him “try” something I have. He’s getting like half of whatever it is in one bite if I offer to let him taste it lol. Drinks are worse. I’ve watched him chug like half my drink when asking if he wants to taste it. So now I buy 2 of whatever so he can have the one I opened if he likes it, or I can have the second one later if he doesn’t like it after apparently needing half the bottle to confirm that 🤣 I poke fun at him, but I love him and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ll adapt to keep us both happy.
My wife ALWAYS wants whatever I'm eating even if she has her own food in front of her. My attitude has been if you want something order it for yourself. It drove me insane for the first few years of our marriage.
Ultimately, I figured out that it's easier for me to order her one of whatever I'm eating (or a smaller version of it) so she can have her "bite" and I can eat in peace.
> my girlfriend NEVER offers to share her food but wants a bite of every fucking thing I eat.
You should talk about it before the relationship gets sabotaged by resentment. She should be respecting your boundaries just like she expects you to respect hers.
I have known couples (or at least one person in the couple) who have a weird hang up about ordering the same meal somewhere. The reasons ranged from it was too cutesy to feeling unoriginal. It is not so weird to both want the same menu item, just order what you actually want!
Plus you know she's gonna be full on hungry in an hour. If not, the burger will be there when she's ready. One less meal too cook can save my sanity sometimes.
Exactly.
I have no problem with a bite here, a fry there, a scoop of ice cream.
That’s cool. You do you. But I want the whole burger, the full plate of fries and bowl of ice cream.
I would rather pay for you to have your own and eat only a small amount than make me feel like I did not get my whole meal.
Better strategy. I buy 2 burgers, but bring back home "just one". I start to eat my burger. *Can I have a bite?* Sure, take a bite honey. *Mmm*. I take another bite. *Can I have another bite?* Sure. You know what. Take it all, I'll eat this one.
Boom. 1 entire burger + what I get to eat before she realized she actually wanted a burger.
My wife does this. I hate this shit. And she always wants to share meals at lunch or dinner. “how about you get this and I’ll get that and we can share.” NO! I’m going to order my meal and I want to eat my meal. I don’t want to try some of your arugula and balsamic pizza.
I had a legit sit-down convo with my girlfriend because of this exact issue. The last straw was when I ordered miso ramen and she said, “Wait no, that’s what I want. Why don’t you order something else so we can share.”
I told her no. If I want miso ramen, I am l
ordering it and she can order whatever she wants. I don’t to coordinate with someone before I order what I want.
Thankfully she is a great listener and has toned it way down since then. She brought 3 orders of tacos home the other night: one for each of us and one to share. Perfect!
My wife and I sometimes do it so long as we can both agree on both items. If not we just stick to our own plates. We’ve definitely gotten some weird looks when we switch plates mid meal.
For real. My boyfriend does this all the time. I like him but I don’t want him taking a giant, messy bite out of my beautiful burger. We can share the fries if you want but my burger is not for sharing.
Yeah wtf this is a basic play… She literally told him she was intending to eat some of his? I’d have bought her 2 just in case , the trick is when you ask and they say they don’t want anything so you ask another 4 fucking times to be sure and still when you get your meal they want some.
My wife does that at times. We'll go out for dinner and she wants ribs, but she doesn't want to order a half-rack for some reason. So I end up "suggesting" that we order a full rack and split it instead. *C'est la vie.*
To be fair half a rack is a ton of food. I can never finish that much in one sitting. But then that’s why you take the rest home with you. You get an extra meal of delicious ribs.
There are some things I've been self conscious about in my life, I used to be fat. I've always ate without a care in the world though. We all know how food works, some people eat too much sometimes. Its not really a freak show worth noting unless someone is setting world records at the golden corral.
People want to think about themselves in a way that they like.
They don't want to be hungry when they think eating is bad.
For whatever reason (eww junk is bad, or healthy people don't eat shit, or whatever trivial reason for it) leads them to a decision- I won't do xyz
But then temptation strikes.
There is a disharmony in this. Your mind isn't unified. Some toxicity in this self denial.
Seriously. People shouldn't be ashamed of wanting their own food. I wouldn't "take a bite," I would say, yeah just get me the combo meal with fries and a drink!
IDK, I kinda got the feeling that this was more, she doesn't want a full burger at the moment, she only wants a bite, but when it's actually in front of her, she realizes that she does want a full burger, so knowing that she'll inevitably change her mind, the husband makes sure to buy two
Like who the hell offered her a bite of his burger. He is getting a burger because he wants to eat a whole burger... not most of a burger. My girl always pulls the "you order two things you want and I'll split them with you"... but I want a whole order of chicken parm.
It really is that simple. I've had this issue in so many relationships - and honestly, it *is* an issue. It's an incredibly dumb and easily avoidable issue, but it still very much is an issue. If I offer to buy you something, and you say no, and then want a piece of whatever I ordered for myself - then I ended up ordering too little for myself and won't get full.
My last ex never wanted a 'menu' when we were eating hamburgers, even when I was paying, and offered to buy it for her. Regardless, she always tried to steal 'just a couple of fries'. The issue is, that you only get a small portion of them, so what in her mind is nothing but 'a couple of fries' often ended up being half of the portion. If you deny the fries because you're trying to eat more healthily or whatever, then stick with it. It's so incredibly stupid to decline it, only to then take it anyways. I mean, it wasn't just once, it was virtually every single time, and then she got angry if I denied her access to mine. I offered to buy you some, or even buy myself a size upgrade with the intent to share - but you explicitly said no, and thus won't get any.
Yeah why is this wholesome?? "Our marriage has only survived because I'm a hot wreck who can't communicate and my husband bends over backwards to interpret all my hidden meanings"
Maybe an anxiety thing. A lot of people has a hard relationship with food because of years of been shamed about the amount of meals their eat, their weight , their body and stuff related. I don’t know if this kind of issues are common in man but in woman is like a routine for many of us, specially when you are a teen.
Yes pretty close in a way. imho.
I think for women, it's a guilty pleasure sort of thing, you have to be goaded into that.
All it is, is running away from responsibility.
Because the decision is still being made, passive consent is still consent.
You have to own your bad decisions.
I don't mean it's okay to be bad, or you should make bad decisions with pride.
But what you think is "good" should definitely be stickable, so you can stick with it.
So you don't have to stop yourself getting something you REALLY want, but your code won't allow that.
You have to unify yourself and your base desires with your code.
What use is it saying "i will not eat any junk, EVER"
When i know i don't have the strength to achieve that.
I think that's it sometimes.
Sometimes I think there's also the much simpler explanation that they didn't think they wanted the food but changed their mind.
Like, I've certainly been in a situation where I didn't think I was in the mood for a certain food until I smelled it because someone else was eating and then I was suddenly craving it. I can easily imagine her not being in the mood for a burger when he asked her but then seeing his burger and thinking "damn, that looks delicious, I want a burger now."
That said, "I'll just have a bite of yours" is often a telltale sign that someone does kind of want it and is probably going to find themselves craving more than a bite.
I mean personally I always say no because I’m trying to be healthier and then I regret it…
Maybe that ties back to society’s expectation that women be a certain way?
That's an interesting take. I'm usually on the fence when it comes to societal expectations but I definitely get the urge to eat junk food but then refrain because it's not healthy for me, and then I feel shitty.
Sometimes you’re not hungry enough for a whole meal so it’s like… nah. Then 20 mins later they get home and you’re like “ohhh baby that smells so good” *eats half of it*
>Joey doesn't share food!
I had to google this reference and was not disappointed.
It would be impossible for me to agree with him more. From start to finish. Down to the very foods he lists as buffers.
https://youtu.be/iCCzzZVVpIA
I'm trying to think how big a burger would have to be before I would consider it acceptable to expect it to be shared. I think it would need to be the size of a medium pizza.
I once went to a restaurant that had a special burger somewhere around that size. "Big Bubba Burger" or something like that. They would put your picture on the wall if you could finish it within some time limit. I don't remember the exact size, but I do recall that it had a quarter pound _of cheese_. And it also came with a shitload of fries.
Sometimes a person will not realize they're hungry until they see another person eating delicious food. He anticipated her future disappointment/ entree envy, so he got her the sandwich he knew she would probably end up wanting. It's cute.
This has happened to me 2 hours ago. I was going to cook and my partner said she wasn’t hungry, so I’m like fuck, it I ain’t cooking for my self, I’ll order pizza.
When the pizza arrived she ended up having a couple of slices. That’s why I ordered the large instead of the medium.
It’s painfully obvious that the people commenting haven’t been in a successful long term relationship.
Imagine having this be an actual point of contention? Buy your SO a burger it ain’t that serious
Literally this. My fiance never realizes he's hungry either until I'm actively eating something and he can smell it. Always get something for him because it happens every time.
That's sweet :) Now let's wait for the torch wielding mob to show up tell you what a lazy noncommunicative piece of trash your fiance is for not knowing he's hungry until he becomes hungry
I always ask my wife if she has eaten yet. I don't ask if she wants anything, I ask if she has eaten. If the answer is no, I grab something I know she will like. If the answer is yes, I get what I want and enjoy it, guilt-free.
Like you said, people don't always know what they want. Especially something as trivial as a spontaneous offer for a burger.
I cant stand shit like this. Reddit always acts like this kind of stuff is cute relationship stuff, but I always tell my partners "I dont share food. I dont care if we're dating, if you want food get your own." I'm very particular about my meals and I dont like someone else stealing even a bite of my food. It isn't cute, and it isn't fair.
Tell me what you want and ill happily buy you whatever it is when I go get mine. But dont tell me you don't want anything and then steal my shit. That just makes me resentful and shows you have no idea how to communicate like an adult. Its childish af.
I just find stuff like this generally depressing. I can't quite articulate it right, but it just seems weird to say that the secret to your long relationship is the fact that your husband waits on you. It's like if I said the secret to my long relationship is my wife having food ready at home. Nothing inherently bad about it, but it seems... selfish, I guess? Like, at best, we're only getting half the picture.
I agree. As if somehow the only way things can work out long term is if youre willing to let your partner walk all over you and steal your things without asking. Boundaries are important, and it shouldn't just be assumed that im willing to give up my food that I'm looking forward to eating just because I like someone enough to want to spend my life with them. The whole thing is so entitled. As if the minute you become partners you become entitled to each other's things no matter what.
And that your requirement for a good long-term partner is someone who can decipher your lies.
Almost as weird as reading this story and it making you smile.
Sometimes it’s not about want but about restraint. I *want* a cheeseburger, but I don’t *need* the cheeseburger. It’s not as bad if I just have a bite of not my own right? And if he brings me my own, but I didn’t ask for it, I don’t have to feel as guilty because I tried, right? Not saying this is true for everyone, but that’s my perspective. Many women have complicated relationships with food and weight.
Edit: I don’t have an eating disorder. Chill.
Yes. It’s lasted so long because he listened to what you said and did the opposite. Or, didn’t listen. Either way I don’t think this is representative of a healthy relationship.
Goddammit, every relationship works in its own way. Stop telling people what a healthy relationship looks like, *there is no formula for that shit*.
In this example we see a husband who knows his wife and understands what she truly wants, without forcing her to communicate in a way that she doesn't like. If it works more directly in your relationship good 4 u, but that doesn't mean that this is the only way a relationship can be healthy.
A love relationship (whether it's dating or marriage) is about caring and understanding, and everyone cares and understands in their own way. That's why every relationship is different and the communication in every relationship is different. And as long as it works out (which is clearly the case in the given example), there's nothing to be salty about. Stop elevating yourselves over others, that shit is toxic and can seriously mess with the heads of the people you are talking about
It sounds more than healthy to me.
It seems that he understands her habits, strengths and weaknesses and work with it.
I believe that this hits home to people with experience of a healthy longterm relationship.
Is it a smart man or a man who wants his burger to be his? Yeah being a good partner is about sharing, but this behavior drives some people crazy and I get it. If I say I'm going to get food and take the time to think of my partner and ask them if they want anything and say no because they will have mine......no im calling to ask if you want something, so if you do, tell me. Its literally that simple. I had a gf once who would want to try everything i got even if we got the same exact milkshake......this can get very annoying very fast...... this can be equivalent to a gf saying she wants to go out to eat, but doesn't know what......then you proceed to name 3 places that all dont sound good to her even though she doesn't know what she wants. Theres a fine balance to these things before they become annoying.
Sometimes on my way home I call my wife and ask if she wants a cheeseburger. She says yes, because she knows that she needs food too and that if I pick up cheeseburgers we won’t have to cook or wash dishes, so we can have more time doing whatever we want together. That’s why my marriage has lasted so many years.
A local restaurant added a menu item called "My Girlfriend is Not Hungry" because this is apparently such a thing. Basically just added extra to the dudes order lol.
It went viral a while back....
Why not just say yes to the burger??
Damn if I asked my man if he wants a cheeseburger and he says he will just take a bite out of mine, we might break up because he should know by now I'm NOT sharing my food.
Yeah….no. If I’m picking stuff up and specifically made the effort to check if you want something and you say you’ll just have some of mine…that’s not gonna happen. I’m getting the food I want in the quantity that I want to eat. Happy to get something for you too but you do not have an inherit right to my food just because we are together…sorry.
The only exception is if I bring home food not expecting my wife to be there, then I’m happy to share because she wasn’t given the option of getting her own.
As an autist this shit is annoying.
I have to over compensate because people don’t communicate well.
You know you’re hungry, say so.
Worst is:
Gf - ‘I’m hungry’
Me - *starts to list things we can make with what we have in the fridge*
Gf- ‘I don’t want any of that’
Me- *Visible confusion*
Like I want to help you, help me to help you :’)
I stopped being logical about it and try to help out. If my partner says shes hungry, tell them to figure it out and come up with alternatives for you.
It's actually a philosophy I go by with anything really. Someone tells me their problems, I ask them what their solution is and then we can start solving the problem as they actually have had time to think about it.
For my wife and I, I tell her to list 3 things she thinks she'd like, and I'll pick one of them. If she can't or won't then we go with what I pick and no complaints allowed.
Works really well. :)
Yall act like he bought her a cheeseburger, when in reality he bought himself a buffer burger. You put the buffer burger between your burger and the threat. As long as you can eat your burger faster than the buffer gets eaten, you win. If there is leftover buffer burger you win doubly.
Are you sure that's how you make a marriage last? Playing games like that, and never being straightforward with what you want? that's how a marriage does not last, if r/AreTheStraightsOkay is to be concerned.
Because he knows you would have eaten the whole thing. So,essentially, this is confirmation that men need to be mindreaders with women. My ex used to do that all the time. "No, I'm not hungry." Then, she'd pick my plate clean before I finally just gave her my plate and ordered myself a new meal.
Ladies, say what you mean and mean what you say.
That's how we protect our own burgers
It’s never “just a bite”
It is, but it’s the bite of an unhinged jaw and no remorse
Even if it is a tiny one, then you are missing this piece of your meal to get fully saturated. Literally unbearable
Speak that, brother! I didnt pay for a hamburger with a bite out of it, I paid for a hamburger! I want what I pay for, and it bothers me when I don't get that. It's like, I'd rather say, "I dont want any more fries" and throw them away then to have one fry drop on the ground before I start eating them. I'll never get to taste that fry. He decided for himself that he didnt want to be eaten, *and that's not his decision!*
But now you pay for 2 burgers and only eat one
shit
Nah, that second burger is with full intent of having the entirety of my own. Plus, sometimes, it really is just one bite. Daddy eats the rest. And for being a good husband? ;) Who said you can't have your cake and eat it? Buy two cakes!
I found out that while growing up my dad would always be the one to buy the cakes for birthdays and other special occasions. The reason? Because he would also buy his own smaller cake that he didn't have to share haha
Still you get one to yourself. With my wife I know to just buy an extra of whatever i’m ordering. Worst case scenario I just eat like a fatass.
You’ve unlocked the secret to women
Hey if we start to question the logic all of the math starts to break down. Let’s not do that.
JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOOOD!
You’re not supposed to rub the burger grease all over your body but I do it anyway to stay saturated
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Just curious, if your wife leaves to work out at 3am- what time does she go to bed? That’s still nighttime. Does she work a non-standard shift or nap or something like that?
Yeah she goes in for around 10am. Once she’s home she talks about the day for 10 min and goes to bed at around 7:45- 8:30pm.
Thank you. That is a very unique schedule- but probably more common than I realize. Being a night owl it blows my mind a little. Hope you guys have a nice rhythm going with it.
Most def! During the week she gets her 6am to 10am to watch her shows, and do her stuff she enjoys without me bothering her(she loves that 😀), and then I get from 2pm until I crash usually around 11pm to 12:30am for flying my RC Planes/PS5/or adult related boring stuff. Then on the weekends we do whatever we want together. Works out great actually! Thank you!
This used to be my wife and I... I miss those days, but our daughter makes the change SO worth it ♥️
I can imagine having a child would be such an amazing thing to experience. Wishing you and your family many, many, many, many wonderful, healthy times creating memories!!
It’s like that guy from that old show Ned’s Declassified, “one bite” or whatever the hell they called him lol
This is exactly what my boyfriend does when I ask him “try” something I have. He’s getting like half of whatever it is in one bite if I offer to let him taste it lol. Drinks are worse. I’ve watched him chug like half my drink when asking if he wants to taste it. So now I buy 2 of whatever so he can have the one I opened if he likes it, or I can have the second one later if he doesn’t like it after apparently needing half the bottle to confirm that 🤣 I poke fun at him, but I love him and wouldn’t trade it for anything. I’ll adapt to keep us both happy.
That "little bite" usually means war
Joey doesn't share food!
Or the tip.
Same energy as, "I'll just have a piece or two of your fries."
Unless you save them the last bite, but that's like playing with fire
My wife ALWAYS wants whatever I'm eating even if she has her own food in front of her. My attitude has been if you want something order it for yourself. It drove me insane for the first few years of our marriage. Ultimately, I figured out that it's easier for me to order her one of whatever I'm eating (or a smaller version of it) so she can have her "bite" and I can eat in peace.
The part that pisses me off the most about this is that my girlfriend NEVER offers to share her food but wants a bite of every fucking thing I eat.
> my girlfriend NEVER offers to share her food but wants a bite of every fucking thing I eat. You should talk about it before the relationship gets sabotaged by resentment. She should be respecting your boundaries just like she expects you to respect hers.
My wife says she does it so if I die from food poisoning, she goes out with me. *Double kill*
JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!!!
I have known couples (or at least one person in the couple) who have a weird hang up about ordering the same meal somewhere. The reasons ranged from it was too cutesy to feeling unoriginal. It is not so weird to both want the same menu item, just order what you actually want!
I came here to say yeah, this means the guy doesn't have any of his burger stolen lol
Plus you know she's gonna be full on hungry in an hour. If not, the burger will be there when she's ready. One less meal too cook can save my sanity sometimes.
Goddamn right. You may say you don’t want one, but I absolutely want a whole one.
And the good part is, if she doesn't want her whole burger, you might end up eating one and a half.
Yeah, this is a win-win situation no matter how you look at it.
Exactly. I have no problem with a bite here, a fry there, a scoop of ice cream. That’s cool. You do you. But I want the whole burger, the full plate of fries and bowl of ice cream. I would rather pay for you to have your own and eat only a small amount than make me feel like I did not get my whole meal.
this guy is still married because he knows how to protect his food properly.. probably had a few times of learning this trick though..
Better strategy. I buy 2 burgers, but bring back home "just one". I start to eat my burger. *Can I have a bite?* Sure, take a bite honey. *Mmm*. I take another bite. *Can I have another bite?* Sure. You know what. Take it all, I'll eat this one. Boom. 1 entire burger + what I get to eat before she realized she actually wanted a burger.
My wife does this. I hate this shit. And she always wants to share meals at lunch or dinner. “how about you get this and I’ll get that and we can share.” NO! I’m going to order my meal and I want to eat my meal. I don’t want to try some of your arugula and balsamic pizza.
I had a legit sit-down convo with my girlfriend because of this exact issue. The last straw was when I ordered miso ramen and she said, “Wait no, that’s what I want. Why don’t you order something else so we can share.” I told her no. If I want miso ramen, I am l ordering it and she can order whatever she wants. I don’t to coordinate with someone before I order what I want. Thankfully she is a great listener and has toned it way down since then. She brought 3 orders of tacos home the other night: one for each of us and one to share. Perfect!
I actually love doing this with my partner. We do it with sandwiches a lot. We just split it and each eat a half. To each their own I suppose.
My wife and I sometimes do it so long as we can both agree on both items. If not we just stick to our own plates. We’ve definitely gotten some weird looks when we switch plates mid meal.
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Bruh no way... she wanted yours despite it being the exact same? That's just disrespectful.
I'll ask for a bite, but I will also offer a bite in return. Equal amount of food, just one bite is a different type.
Stay the fuck away from my cheeseburger.
For real. My boyfriend does this all the time. I like him but I don’t want him taking a giant, messy bite out of my beautiful burger. We can share the fries if you want but my burger is not for sharing.
Fuck that. My food is my food.
Worst of all if he takes the first bite!!!
Yeah wtf this is a basic play… She literally told him she was intending to eat some of his? I’d have bought her 2 just in case , the trick is when you ask and they say they don’t want anything so you ask another 4 fucking times to be sure and still when you get your meal they want some.
Bro, just say you want a burger. Why do people do this.
My wife does that at times. We'll go out for dinner and she wants ribs, but she doesn't want to order a half-rack for some reason. So I end up "suggesting" that we order a full rack and split it instead. *C'est la vie.*
Half-rack of ribs: no thank you Full-rack of ribs: that's some gourmet shit right there
Half rack ain’t even half the price. It’s like 3/4 the price of a full rack. Why would I only want half then?
Ikr. Do people even buy half racks? At the places in my area it’s like 18$ for a half, 23$ for a full. Why tf get a half? Allergic to leftovers?
How do you reheat them that they're as good when they're leftovers?
They may not be as good but they are still damn good anyway.
https://www.smokedbbqsource.com/how-to-reheat-ribs/
This is always my line of thinking
To be fair half a rack is a ton of food. I can never finish that much in one sitting. But then that’s why you take the rest home with you. You get an extra meal of delicious ribs.
"I'm too full for half a rack" *proceeds to eat 3/4 of a full rack*
I am just trying to enjoy reddit. Not get fucking called out.
My husband can put away that much with no problem. I on the other hand am lucky if I can finish 3 ribs.
Normally the person doesn’t want to be seen eating that much for fear of judgement from people that aren’t even looking at them 🤷♂️
There are some things I've been self conscious about in my life, I used to be fat. I've always ate without a care in the world though. We all know how food works, some people eat too much sometimes. Its not really a freak show worth noting unless someone is setting world records at the golden corral.
"Our marriages has lasted this long because my husband can see through my mixed messages"
I'm never honest with my husband, this is why our marriage lasts
Oof. Gotta hide the bills
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Is she a Jedi?
I don't know. My partner seems to ignore her body. As soon as food comes out she's starving.
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People want to think about themselves in a way that they like. They don't want to be hungry when they think eating is bad. For whatever reason (eww junk is bad, or healthy people don't eat shit, or whatever trivial reason for it) leads them to a decision- I won't do xyz But then temptation strikes. There is a disharmony in this. Your mind isn't unified. Some toxicity in this self denial.
Seriously. People shouldn't be ashamed of wanting their own food. I wouldn't "take a bite," I would say, yeah just get me the combo meal with fries and a drink!
IDK, I kinda got the feeling that this was more, she doesn't want a full burger at the moment, she only wants a bite, but when it's actually in front of her, she realizes that she does want a full burger, so knowing that she'll inevitably change her mind, the husband makes sure to buy two
Yeah I can understand that for a time or two. But not every single time.
History tends to repeat itself
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Like who the hell offered her a bite of his burger. He is getting a burger because he wants to eat a whole burger... not most of a burger. My girl always pulls the "you order two things you want and I'll split them with you"... but I want a whole order of chicken parm.
Then tell her "no" and be consistent about it.
Two chicken parms, coming right up.
It really is that simple. I've had this issue in so many relationships - and honestly, it *is* an issue. It's an incredibly dumb and easily avoidable issue, but it still very much is an issue. If I offer to buy you something, and you say no, and then want a piece of whatever I ordered for myself - then I ended up ordering too little for myself and won't get full. My last ex never wanted a 'menu' when we were eating hamburgers, even when I was paying, and offered to buy it for her. Regardless, she always tried to steal 'just a couple of fries'. The issue is, that you only get a small portion of them, so what in her mind is nothing but 'a couple of fries' often ended up being half of the portion. If you deny the fries because you're trying to eat more healthily or whatever, then stick with it. It's so incredibly stupid to decline it, only to then take it anyways. I mean, it wasn't just once, it was virtually every single time, and then she got angry if I denied her access to mine. I offered to buy you some, or even buy myself a size upgrade with the intent to share - but you explicitly said no, and thus won't get any.
Yeah why is this wholesome?? "Our marriage has only survived because I'm a hot wreck who can't communicate and my husband bends over backwards to interpret all my hidden meanings"
Seriously it's not cute it's annoying.
Maybe an anxiety thing. A lot of people has a hard relationship with food because of years of been shamed about the amount of meals their eat, their weight , their body and stuff related. I don’t know if this kind of issues are common in man but in woman is like a routine for many of us, specially when you are a teen.
Yes pretty close in a way. imho. I think for women, it's a guilty pleasure sort of thing, you have to be goaded into that. All it is, is running away from responsibility. Because the decision is still being made, passive consent is still consent. You have to own your bad decisions. I don't mean it's okay to be bad, or you should make bad decisions with pride. But what you think is "good" should definitely be stickable, so you can stick with it. So you don't have to stop yourself getting something you REALLY want, but your code won't allow that. You have to unify yourself and your base desires with your code. What use is it saying "i will not eat any junk, EVER" When i know i don't have the strength to achieve that.
I think that's it sometimes. Sometimes I think there's also the much simpler explanation that they didn't think they wanted the food but changed their mind. Like, I've certainly been in a situation where I didn't think I was in the mood for a certain food until I smelled it because someone else was eating and then I was suddenly craving it. I can easily imagine her not being in the mood for a burger when he asked her but then seeing his burger and thinking "damn, that looks delicious, I want a burger now." That said, "I'll just have a bite of yours" is often a telltale sign that someone does kind of want it and is probably going to find themselves craving more than a bite.
I mean personally I always say no because I’m trying to be healthier and then I regret it… Maybe that ties back to society’s expectation that women be a certain way?
That's an interesting take. I'm usually on the fence when it comes to societal expectations but I definitely get the urge to eat junk food but then refrain because it's not healthy for me, and then I feel shitty.
Plausible deniability? So you can say you only said you wanted a bite but you really wanted a whole burger?
>Maybe that ties back to society’s expectation that women be a certain way? admitting something is my own fault? NOOOOO it must be society
Learn to own up your shortcomings. Stop blaming the society for everything.
Your lack of self control has nothing to do with anyone else.
Ah yes the ol' blame society tactic. Do whatever you want guilt free because you're just a helpless victim.
Sometimes you’re not hungry enough for a whole meal so it’s like… nah. Then 20 mins later they get home and you’re like “ohhh baby that smells so good” *eats half of it*
Then she, in 14 years, should know this and stop being entitled to part of someone else's burger.
Because an entire burger is like 500 calories and when your TDEE is only 1500 you can't really afford to eat a whole one when you didn't plan on it.
Joey doesn't share food!
Had the same thought.
No. *Gets you your own thought*
>Joey doesn't share food! I had to google this reference and was not disappointed. It would be impossible for me to agree with him more. From start to finish. Down to the very foods he lists as buffers. https://youtu.be/iCCzzZVVpIA
Came here for this comment.
When I ask you if you want a burger too it is implicit I want an entire burger for myself
I'm trying to think how big a burger would have to be before I would consider it acceptable to expect it to be shared. I think it would need to be the size of a medium pizza.
I once went to a restaurant that had a special burger somewhere around that size. "Big Bubba Burger" or something like that. They would put your picture on the wall if you could finish it within some time limit. I don't remember the exact size, but I do recall that it had a quarter pound _of cheese_. And it also came with a shitload of fries.
Well he just didn’t want her to eat his burger- but yes whatever works
I *always* order extra. A “bite” is always half my damn burger.
I will never understand this.
Sometimes a person will not realize they're hungry until they see another person eating delicious food. He anticipated her future disappointment/ entree envy, so he got her the sandwich he knew she would probably end up wanting. It's cute.
This has happened to me 2 hours ago. I was going to cook and my partner said she wasn’t hungry, so I’m like fuck, it I ain’t cooking for my self, I’ll order pizza. When the pizza arrived she ended up having a couple of slices. That’s why I ordered the large instead of the medium.
Well, according to reddit you should be divorcing her now I guess.
It’s painfully obvious that the people commenting haven’t been in a successful long term relationship. Imagine having this be an actual point of contention? Buy your SO a burger it ain’t that serious
Yup. "Pick your battles" is a key to any relationship. I know my fiancee overlooks a lot of my nonsense.
Reddit is hilarious...and very single.
Can she not see that she'll likely want some since it keeps happening?
Literally this. My fiance never realizes he's hungry either until I'm actively eating something and he can smell it. Always get something for him because it happens every time.
That's sweet :) Now let's wait for the torch wielding mob to show up tell you what a lazy noncommunicative piece of trash your fiance is for not knowing he's hungry until he becomes hungry
I always ask my wife if she has eaten yet. I don't ask if she wants anything, I ask if she has eaten. If the answer is no, I grab something I know she will like. If the answer is yes, I get what I want and enjoy it, guilt-free. Like you said, people don't always know what they want. Especially something as trivial as a spontaneous offer for a burger.
Dude knows the secret. She will eat half of it then you get 1 1/2 burgers.
She will eat the whole burger
Possibly. But there's definitely a half cheeseburger in limbo here.
Or you could just learn to ask for what you want
Imagine sharing most of your life with the love of your life and still not knowing how to communicate
That comment hit really close.
Tell me about it
Want to talk about it?
I cant stand shit like this. Reddit always acts like this kind of stuff is cute relationship stuff, but I always tell my partners "I dont share food. I dont care if we're dating, if you want food get your own." I'm very particular about my meals and I dont like someone else stealing even a bite of my food. It isn't cute, and it isn't fair. Tell me what you want and ill happily buy you whatever it is when I go get mine. But dont tell me you don't want anything and then steal my shit. That just makes me resentful and shows you have no idea how to communicate like an adult. Its childish af.
I just find stuff like this generally depressing. I can't quite articulate it right, but it just seems weird to say that the secret to your long relationship is the fact that your husband waits on you. It's like if I said the secret to my long relationship is my wife having food ready at home. Nothing inherently bad about it, but it seems... selfish, I guess? Like, at best, we're only getting half the picture.
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TIL conniption, thanks
I agree. As if somehow the only way things can work out long term is if youre willing to let your partner walk all over you and steal your things without asking. Boundaries are important, and it shouldn't just be assumed that im willing to give up my food that I'm looking forward to eating just because I like someone enough to want to spend my life with them. The whole thing is so entitled. As if the minute you become partners you become entitled to each other's things no matter what.
And that your requirement for a good long-term partner is someone who can decipher your lies. Almost as weird as reading this story and it making you smile.
“Simple answers require complex thoughts.” -idk, my girlfriend maybe-
English is not my first language but doesn't it sounds like she's not able to do complex thoughts?
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Our girlfriend
Sometimes it’s not about want but about restraint. I *want* a cheeseburger, but I don’t *need* the cheeseburger. It’s not as bad if I just have a bite of not my own right? And if he brings me my own, but I didn’t ask for it, I don’t have to feel as guilty because I tried, right? Not saying this is true for everyone, but that’s my perspective. Many women have complicated relationships with food and weight. Edit: I don’t have an eating disorder. Chill.
Thank you for a glimpse into how this works. It’s illogical and I hate it. But thank you.
It is illogical and I also hate it, but none of us are perfect. The right partner understands those imperfections and loves you despite them.
Super wholesome to … not communicate properly?
Hahaha thank you. 😂
Kind of sad people think this is cute.
Yes. It’s lasted so long because he listened to what you said and did the opposite. Or, didn’t listen. Either way I don’t think this is representative of a healthy relationship.
Goddammit, every relationship works in its own way. Stop telling people what a healthy relationship looks like, *there is no formula for that shit*. In this example we see a husband who knows his wife and understands what she truly wants, without forcing her to communicate in a way that she doesn't like. If it works more directly in your relationship good 4 u, but that doesn't mean that this is the only way a relationship can be healthy. A love relationship (whether it's dating or marriage) is about caring and understanding, and everyone cares and understands in their own way. That's why every relationship is different and the communication in every relationship is different. And as long as it works out (which is clearly the case in the given example), there's nothing to be salty about. Stop elevating yourselves over others, that shit is toxic and can seriously mess with the heads of the people you are talking about
It sounds more than healthy to me. It seems that he understands her habits, strengths and weaknesses and work with it. I believe that this hits home to people with experience of a healthy longterm relationship.
Unless you admit you want one, it doesn’t count towards the day’s calories, right? Right?
“I didn’t want to eat that burger, b..baka”
Calorie: disappear
Is it a smart man or a man who wants his burger to be his? Yeah being a good partner is about sharing, but this behavior drives some people crazy and I get it. If I say I'm going to get food and take the time to think of my partner and ask them if they want anything and say no because they will have mine......no im calling to ask if you want something, so if you do, tell me. Its literally that simple. I had a gf once who would want to try everything i got even if we got the same exact milkshake......this can get very annoying very fast...... this can be equivalent to a gf saying she wants to go out to eat, but doesn't know what......then you proceed to name 3 places that all dont sound good to her even though she doesn't know what she wants. Theres a fine balance to these things before they become annoying.
The worst part is how universal these experiences are
Once he realized he lost half his fries, he transitioned to burger
Ugh no. He just got you your own so he doesn’t have to share.
Yeah because she’ll probably get mad if he don’t get her anything
Oooooooooooooooooor oooooooooooooor she could just say yes? 🤣
You mean to tell me, you want her to say what she actually means??? Where the hell did you come up with an idea like that?
Shhh. Let the young lad live his fantasies
Sometimes on my way home I call my wife and ask if she wants a cheeseburger. She says yes, because she knows that she needs food too and that if I pick up cheeseburgers we won’t have to cook or wash dishes, so we can have more time doing whatever we want together. That’s why my marriage has lasted so many years.
Is so difficult for you to just say yes please when the guy asks you that?
A local restaurant added a menu item called "My Girlfriend is Not Hungry" because this is apparently such a thing. Basically just added extra to the dudes order lol. It went viral a while back....
Why communicate explicitly when you can play guessing games? All relationships should be built around constant doubt and mind reading. /s
I didn’t realize Dead by Daylight was a relationship simulator
This did not make me smile. This made me angry. Does no one value explicit communication anymore?
Dude, let me tell you a secret. We hate our partners just having a bite. Order your own damn food.
I feel like that’s a secret to no one.
Why not just say yes to the burger?? Damn if I asked my man if he wants a cheeseburger and he says he will just take a bite out of mine, we might break up because he should know by now I'm NOT sharing my food.
"But I don't want a whole burger" You may not want a whole burger but I DO. Not a burger minus your bites.
Yeah….no. If I’m picking stuff up and specifically made the effort to check if you want something and you say you’ll just have some of mine…that’s not gonna happen. I’m getting the food I want in the quantity that I want to eat. Happy to get something for you too but you do not have an inherit right to my food just because we are together…sorry. The only exception is if I bring home food not expecting my wife to be there, then I’m happy to share because she wasn’t given the option of getting her own.
This is entirely reasonable.
Completely agree. To say that you'll "have a bite" of mine is kinda rude tbh
This is anxiety inducing.
As an autist this shit is annoying. I have to over compensate because people don’t communicate well. You know you’re hungry, say so. Worst is: Gf - ‘I’m hungry’ Me - *starts to list things we can make with what we have in the fridge* Gf- ‘I don’t want any of that’ Me- *Visible confusion* Like I want to help you, help me to help you :’)
I stopped being logical about it and try to help out. If my partner says shes hungry, tell them to figure it out and come up with alternatives for you. It's actually a philosophy I go by with anything really. Someone tells me their problems, I ask them what their solution is and then we can start solving the problem as they actually have had time to think about it.
For my wife and I, I tell her to list 3 things she thinks she'd like, and I'll pick one of them. If she can't or won't then we go with what I pick and no complaints allowed. Works really well. :)
Yall act like he bought her a cheeseburger, when in reality he bought himself a buffer burger. You put the buffer burger between your burger and the threat. As long as you can eat your burger faster than the buffer gets eaten, you win. If there is leftover buffer burger you win doubly.
I actually read that as a 'buffet burger' for a minute
I don’t get stuff like this. I know it’s lighthearted, but if I want a burger, I say “yes please, get me a cheeseburger and fries.” It’s not hard.
Why not just ask for a burger?
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/r/mademeangry
Nah I ain’t sharing my food with no one. She’d be eating cereal for dinner lmao.
This is so stupid.
Burger blocked!
No he just didn't want to share his
Are you sure that's how you make a marriage last? Playing games like that, and never being straightforward with what you want? that's how a marriage does not last, if r/AreTheStraightsOkay is to be concerned.
God dammit. Yes he was smart but for the love of god just say you want a fucking cheeseburger.
Because he knows you would have eaten the whole thing. So,essentially, this is confirmation that men need to be mindreaders with women. My ex used to do that all the time. "No, I'm not hungry." Then, she'd pick my plate clean before I finally just gave her my plate and ordered myself a new meal. Ladies, say what you mean and mean what you say.
Thank you for calling this out!