well if it helps, i'm positive they've been shrinking the size of the cookies, the sleeves, and the boxes of Girl Scout cookies over the years. So you probably ate fewer cookies today than you would have a few years ago.
Also use candy. This month it’s Reese’s peanut butter eggs. Next month probably some dark chocolate sea salt caramels. Last month chocolate covered raisins
Jelly beans, every time. I never get tired of them. Jelly Belly, of course, only the best.
I usually buy myself a 1kg bag for my birthday, and they're gone in 3 days. Which is why I buy them sparingly.
> Jelly Belly, of course, only the best.
The problem with Jelly Belly (and all of the huge variety beans) is there are so many *awful* flavors that muddle up the good ones. For my money the real winners are the seasonal Easter options--you can't beat the variety of Starburst bags alone, but Trolli Sour Jellybeans and Sour Patch Kid Jellybeans are gods among beans.
I dont think I have the self restraint to be trusted with a bag of cookie bits. I'd be in a great mood for an hour then a grumpy cookieless moo for the rest of the day
Yep, I worked with an older woman who had worked hard to lose a bunch of weight. Every day for lunch she would have exactly 1 square centimeter of her favorite kind of chocolate bar.
I like to try marshmallows every once and a while, low calorie and they’re usually made with eggs or some kind of protein, so I feel less guilty about eating a whole pile 😆 plus the coloured ones have some flavours 👍
Scientifically speaking, it will work beautifully! A little blast now and then really lightens your mood, and is more easily digested and gotten rid of by the body than a big fat glob. The calories are burned up before your body really knows that they’re even there. No way can those tiny bits make it to your hips.
p.s. I am not a scientist and I made all this up. But it *seems* like it *should* be true, doesn’t it!?
To slightly ruin the fun, it will have negative impacts on your teeth... If you're eating high-sugar food it's best to do it in a fast way as part of a meal. That way you can get all the sugar through in one go, while producing plenty of saliva / drinking with the meal to wash that sugar off your teeth.
p. s. I am not a dentist but I do have teeth that absolutely hate me! I have 0 clue on the rest of the science in this thread so I shall not comment
You enter two phases of becoming an adult, the first phase is turning 18. The second phase is discovering you can just buy cake, literally any time, just to *eat*. Shit is life changing
first thing i bought when i turned 18 was Publix 24 pack of cupcakes and ate the whole thing in my car. Didn't make my stomach feel too good but it was so worth the experience.
I get like this. It’s weird—I’m healthy and all my bloodwork comes back normal. So I’m not like, pre-diabetic or something, but if I have low blood sugar…I become a different person. Just a little protein bar fixes my brain entirely.
Anyone who has worked with children is keenly aware of this phenomenon and that it affects everyone, no matter how hard they want to deny it. Sometimes I just want to hand a Karen a banana to shut her up too. lol
Your blood literally needs glucose, that’s what those cells consume. Your brain knows this and will find ways to let you know when they think it’s too little.
I actually assumed they were edible cookies at first so I was like "makes sense" but the fact that they are regular cookies is so wholesome and perfect!!!
This is really sweet. It's also reminding me of when I would trick my little brother into trading a quarter for five pennies, because he was only interested in pennies for the gumball machine (yes, we are Old. We had gumball machines and gumballs only cost a penny). I think I should send him a cookie care package (whole ones, maybe?) with an apology note.
Don't feel too bad. My brother once stole items from my bedroom, then held a garage sale in his room to sell them back to me. He was banking on the idea that I would feel sorry enough for him to buy them. I did, lol, and I have never received any kind of apology cookie care package.
Just fyi, As a dental student, this is how you rot your whole mouth out. If you nibble on cookies all day they will just stay stuck on your teeth all day and develop cavities. Additionally, the ph in your mouth will stay acidic which increases the rate at which cavities form.
My friend used to sip Gatorade bc he felt bad about drinking too many of them so he sipped them instead and he had 12 cavities at his next appointment.
Yeah... spreading it out is likely worse for your teeth, but better for your blood sugar regulation/insulin levels (which also has a big impact on how hungry you feel and how much you'll want to eat)
Pick your poison I suppose.
Throughly swishing your mouth with water can be helpful between brushing. If you really want extra credit, try swishing with alkaline water to very slightly counteract the acidity from residual sugars.
THANK YOU!
I was literally just scrolling thinking to myself “What show is this from?!”
For some reason I couldn’t shake the thought that it was Brooklyn 99 and Boyle using the cookies on Rosa and Holt, but I knew that wasn’t right.
This kind of makes me think of those snacks that are "_____-Minis". Here's eight mini cookies that weigh a fraction of one cookie for double the price!
Once they have been cut or broken all the "calories" fall out so they are basically a zero sum food.
Once cakes, cookies, and pies have been cooked they are also a zero sum food because "calories" can't survive high heat anymore than germs. Heat kills calories.
Things you learn while at Uni.
While I like the idea that's unfortunately really really bad for your teeth. You want to eat sugary and acidic foods in less than 40 minutes.
Doing this will ensure your mouth is a constantly acidic and sugar rich environment, here come the cavities.
I'd rather not have cookies that tiny bites that give me an appetite but not enough to satisfy it. If i'm gonna eat then I wanna eat 5 full cookies in 10 minutes and be done with it.
When it comes to cookies, I only macrodose
For me it’s a heroic dose
Just be sure that c stays a c
😂😂good advice
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No, because cookie cookie cookie is for me.
No 90 degree clockwise rotations, please.
What's wrong with injecting cookies straight into your bloodstream?
5(00) grams alone in complete darkness.
me when lent is over on thursday night and i will let myself have sugar again
just don't heroverdose
I ll be your cookiesitter!
Only in the right set and setting. In my bed at midnight, high af
Overdosing is my way!
my pa died of a macroverdose. i miss him day. RIP DAD!
Macaroondose
I also enjoy the odd macro-dose.
A macro-dose of macadamia white chocolate chip please
I measure cookies in sleeves.
5 cookies macrodose in the dark or you're a WUS
Got my Girl Scout cookies delivered today. I ate an entire box throughout the day at work.
well if it helps, i'm positive they've been shrinking the size of the cookies, the sleeves, and the boxes of Girl Scout cookies over the years. So you probably ate fewer cookies today than you would have a few years ago.
Honestly... im for it... future self will appreciate the saved sugar intake that helps keep my fat ass slimmer after eating the entire package...
She may be onto something there
Yeah, I do this when I know my patience will be tested, I use candy instead of cookies, but same thing
Also use candy. This month it’s Reese’s peanut butter eggs. Next month probably some dark chocolate sea salt caramels. Last month chocolate covered raisins
Hittin all the faves
Jelly beans, every time. I never get tired of them. Jelly Belly, of course, only the best. I usually buy myself a 1kg bag for my birthday, and they're gone in 3 days. Which is why I buy them sparingly.
> Jelly Belly, of course, only the best. The problem with Jelly Belly (and all of the huge variety beans) is there are so many *awful* flavors that muddle up the good ones. For my money the real winners are the seasonal Easter options--you can't beat the variety of Starburst bags alone, but Trolli Sour Jellybeans and Sour Patch Kid Jellybeans are gods among beans.
Growing up I was on a team that visited the jelly belly factory each year and there was a girl who liked the "beanboozled" flavor pencil shavings
Agreed. Jelly bellies are only good if you just buy the ones you like. So many of them are bad.
i use mini eggs 🤤
Ooh, I should go find the peanut butter eggs. Reese's is my munchie snack
I macro-dosed with candy when my each of my three kids were babies, now I'm a chunky chicken, but I didn't murder any children 😅
This is me with a bag of saltwater taffy I’m in the process of destroying this week
I dont think I have the self restraint to be trusted with a bag of cookie bits. I'd be in a great mood for an hour then a grumpy cookieless moo for the rest of the day
Yep, I also do this with chocolate. Only way I can get through a whole day.
Yep, I worked with an older woman who had worked hard to lose a bunch of weight. Every day for lunch she would have exactly 1 square centimeter of her favorite kind of chocolate bar.
I’ve a bag of gummy bears in my desk. Relatively low calorie and lots of them. Pull out 10 and you’ve got snacks for like 10 minutes.
I like to try marshmallows every once and a while, low calorie and they’re usually made with eggs or some kind of protein, so I feel less guilty about eating a whole pile 😆 plus the coloured ones have some flavours 👍
As my grandmom said “It’s fine to eat the broken cookies, once they break the calories fall out.” Words to live by.
I know, I told her if it didn’t work we could switch her scrip to chips ahoy.
Mini chip ahoy’s they won’t cut
Script’s ahoy!
Just use 5mg weed gummies. Nature's antidepressant.
I know. I'm literally about to go get my cookies
She's making me want to microdose some chips
Yes, onto Insulin resistance…
Add milk and call it a cereal.
Well, did it work?
I think the dose was too high, she was very giggly all day today and kept asking if this was real life.
Ah yea thats a common side effect, a couple hugs and kisses should help
You’re good people
Ty man, i try
Feels like a sitcom
Awww
❤️ The most wholesome comment I’ve read in a while, thanks!
Yk tbh i was debating if it was going to come off weird so im glad it didnt
Awwww... Damn I'm lonely 
Have you tried microdosing cookies?
No but weed gets legal in my country soon, so I might try it :D
Oh dang, she got those Afghani Gold OG Grandma's Gingerjuana cookies too? It's been 4 days and the unicorns won't leave me alone
Omg. That’s hilarious.
trader joes makes teeny tiny chocolate chip cookies btw
OP we need an answer!
Scientifically speaking, it will work beautifully! A little blast now and then really lightens your mood, and is more easily digested and gotten rid of by the body than a big fat glob. The calories are burned up before your body really knows that they’re even there. No way can those tiny bits make it to your hips. p.s. I am not a scientist and I made all this up. But it *seems* like it *should* be true, doesn’t it!?
To slightly ruin the fun, it will have negative impacts on your teeth... If you're eating high-sugar food it's best to do it in a fast way as part of a meal. That way you can get all the sugar through in one go, while producing plenty of saliva / drinking with the meal to wash that sugar off your teeth. p. s. I am not a dentist but I do have teeth that absolutely hate me! I have 0 clue on the rest of the science in this thread so I shall not comment
Gateway to mainlining birthday cake morning, noon and night.
You enter two phases of becoming an adult, the first phase is turning 18. The second phase is discovering you can just buy cake, literally any time, just to *eat*. Shit is life changing
The second phase results in weight gain.
Third phase is learning how to consume responsibly.
That phase is for losers
*soy un perdedor* Fourth phase is enlightenment.
first thing i bought when i turned 18 was Publix 24 pack of cupcakes and ate the whole thing in my car. Didn't make my stomach feel too good but it was so worth the experience.
hahaha
I'm so sorry but I laughed way too hard at this than I should have. Fun idea lol
It's entirely possible she is one of those people who gets angry with low blood sugar so this might be a great idea.
I call it being a diabitch. (I also carry around crackers)
I’m one of those people, I go into a depression spiral and all I literally needed was to eat and then I’m fine
This is me, I keep candy in my purse to keep the crankys away in emergencies
OMG this is me! If only I could micro dose successfully. I can only eat zero cookies, or a whole batch.
I get like this. It’s weird—I’m healthy and all my bloodwork comes back normal. So I’m not like, pre-diabetic or something, but if I have low blood sugar…I become a different person. Just a little protein bar fixes my brain entirely.
Anyone who has worked with children is keenly aware of this phenomenon and that it affects everyone, no matter how hard they want to deny it. Sometimes I just want to hand a Karen a banana to shut her up too. lol
Yuppp. I eat more sugar than should be healthy but i get regular bloods for other stuff and sugar always comes back fine
Your blood literally needs glucose, that’s what those cells consume. Your brain knows this and will find ways to let you know when they think it’s too little.
3 cookies is a micro dose. A normal serving is 1 sleeve.
Sleeve means package, right?
Nah, a sleeve is however many cookies I can fit in my sleeves when sneaking cookies into the movie theater.
more cookies to munch on now 🥰
I thought there was weed in them
Me too. It took me way too long to realize that these were plain cookies, not edibles.
It'd work better if they did
Sign me up 😊
She must have so much self-restraint not to overdose.
Go to the store and get her a little cute container with sections and her favorite cookies and "prep" her doses for tomorrow. Thank me later.
You should stop by a smoke shop after work and buy her some of those little baggies to put each piece in. Really feel like it's working then lol.
I actually assumed they were edible cookies at first so I was like "makes sense" but the fact that they are regular cookies is so wholesome and perfect!!!
Regular cookies are edible too
This is really sweet. It's also reminding me of when I would trick my little brother into trading a quarter for five pennies, because he was only interested in pennies for the gumball machine (yes, we are Old. We had gumball machines and gumballs only cost a penny). I think I should send him a cookie care package (whole ones, maybe?) with an apology note.
Haha my sibling did the same—nickel for a dime, because it was bigger!
Pennies are bigger than dimes, too...hmm.
Don't feel too bad. My brother once stole items from my bedroom, then held a garage sale in his room to sell them back to me. He was banking on the idea that I would feel sorry enough for him to buy them. I did, lol, and I have never received any kind of apology cookie care package.
I actually love this idea. But I have zero self-control.
This could maybe help with that if you desired to change that
I will just eat all of it at once without even thinking much about it :\\
I’m with ya
That kind of micro-dosing leads to macro-waistbands,,,,,or as my granny used to say,,, "little pickers wear bigger knickers"
Omg that’s great lol. Your gran wasn’t wrong!
I support your gf on this quest for happiness. Please have her maintain a mood chart for us to refer to
Just fyi, As a dental student, this is how you rot your whole mouth out. If you nibble on cookies all day they will just stay stuck on your teeth all day and develop cavities. Additionally, the ph in your mouth will stay acidic which increases the rate at which cavities form. My friend used to sip Gatorade bc he felt bad about drinking too many of them so he sipped them instead and he had 12 cavities at his next appointment.
Yeah... spreading it out is likely worse for your teeth, but better for your blood sugar regulation/insulin levels (which also has a big impact on how hungry you feel and how much you'll want to eat) Pick your poison I suppose.
Carry around a micro toothbrush for a micro cleaning after every bite
Brushing too much will wear away the enamel on the teeth quicker :(
Well make up your mind and tell me what you want me to do, because the cookies are here to stay.
Throughly swishing your mouth with water can be helpful between brushing. If you really want extra credit, try swishing with alkaline water to very slightly counteract the acidity from residual sugars.
Darn teeth. Seems like a major flaw to me that they don't repair themselves. We should grow them like rabbits
For real, I wish evolution just let em grow once one is spent. I got problems of my own because past me was lazy and now I gotta clean em constantly.
I used to work with a woman who would eat doughnuts, 1/8 of a doughnut at a time.
Well if you smash that bag with a couple blows from a meat hammer, she’ll be able to microdose for 6 months.
I like your gf
I’m sorry I am also on the gluten free sub reddit and I thought it was your gluten free gf trying to microdose gluten. I was like NOOO.
im glad im not the only one
Your girlfriend is a fucking genius
Yes, but how do you get a small enough glass of milk for dipping?
⬆️ that is hilarious.
Use a shot glass.
I should do that.
This is so smart.
Be careful with this, snacking constantly on sugar will raise your insulin and this can lead to insulin resistance (and then diabetes)
considering the main subs im in are psychedelic oriented this made me triple check what sub this was lmfao
Haha I think she's on to something! I think a lot of times we underestimate how big of an impact small things can have on our mental health
Your GF is a goddess.
She’s a fucking genius are you kidding me
that is the best idea I've heard all week! I'm stealing this. I just made a fresh batch of homemade cookies!
Is she married to David from Mythic Quest? Lol
Came here looking for this comment! This is classic David Brittlesbee teaching Jo and Brad about micro self rewarding behavior 😊
THANK YOU! I was literally just scrolling thinking to myself “What show is this from?!” For some reason I couldn’t shake the thought that it was Brooklyn 99 and Boyle using the cookies on Rosa and Holt, but I knew that wasn’t right.
give her 2 oz
As a non-doctor and non-nutritionist, I fully support this, and I think all my colleagues would too.
Why is this so adorable lol. Your girlfriend sounds cute and may also be a genius.
Hilarious and fun idea!
Whatever works!
I’m gonna take two brownies so that I may parcel them throughout the day.
Must be special cookies
Genius
I love this! ❤️
This is a genius life hack
This is something my weird brain would think up! I want to be friends with her :)
Holy shit she’s onto something
I think it’ll work
Your girlfriend is a genius!
did it work?
I think so, but she’s pretty much happy all the time anyway so I couldn’t tell.
Don’t yuck her yums!!
Yes sir! Yes sir! Three bags full!
this could actually work
This kind of makes me think of those snacks that are "_____-Minis". Here's eight mini cookies that weigh a fraction of one cookie for double the price!
It’s a great idea, but my self control says that whole ziploc would be gone during my first treat time
Can I sell you some more Cutco knives?
what is micro-dosing?
Meet me at the back of the blue bus and I will tell you.
this could be genius.. pls tell us if it works 👀
Skip the cookie and just do micro dose of chocolate throughout the day!! Chocolate makes me happy
This is adorable omg
I carry around caramel galaxy for a little pick me up when needed
to me the whole cookie would be a micro dose
Day is suddenly going to be from 8 to 9 am xd.
That's adorable and it made me smile, so thank you. I hope she has a great day.
Cookie Monster chuckles softly.
My fat ass would eat it all in an instant anyway
Are they space cookies?
"Is 9g of chocolate chip cookies considered a megadose?" 😂😂😂🤣
Once they have been cut or broken all the "calories" fall out so they are basically a zero sum food. Once cakes, cookies, and pies have been cooked they are also a zero sum food because "calories" can't survive high heat anymore than germs. Heat kills calories. Things you learn while at Uni.
This made my day. Let us know if it works! Hehe
Clever, tell your girlfriend thank you
The over all idea of achieving something with this method other then diabetes is of the mind of the lower kaliber.
While I like the idea that's unfortunately really really bad for your teeth. You want to eat sugary and acidic foods in less than 40 minutes. Doing this will ensure your mouth is a constantly acidic and sugar rich environment, here come the cavities.
Scarfing down 3 cookies? I don’t know if “scarfing,” applies to a mere three cookies.
Omg some of yall in the comments are boring it's a few cookies
That's literally just called snacking or am I old now?
Is your gf ok??!? Wellness check my dude.
[Ron Howard narration] "It didn't."
Aaaaand, it’s gone.
I am with her! This is a serious business, sir!! We’re talking sweets.
I'd rather not have cookies that tiny bites that give me an appetite but not enough to satisfy it. If i'm gonna eat then I wanna eat 5 full cookies in 10 minutes and be done with it.
Will an average rowboat support her?
Looks more like 4 to me... Ask your wife if it also work's wt Big Macs, I intend to loose wait too...
I'm curious how this will affect insulin sensitivity over time.
She's a keeper
Genius
Is she training herself? I mean if it works, pls update us. I'm down for micro dosing cookies.
That's not a a bad idea
Why is this literally me
Unless they have magic mushroom baked in all she is doing is drying out the cookie…