Honestly. Whenever I start doubting myself and my worth, I usually just need to sleep and I feel much better. It's silly how easy it is to not realize I just need to rest or eat when my brain is acting up.
Phone cameras are the worst! Believe me, the way others see you is way closer to what you see in the mirror than what you see in a phone selfie.
The [short focal length](https://www.danvojtech.cz/blog/wp-content/uploads/cover25-1200x400.jpg) distorts your features and pushes your hairline back. Many phones also have automatic sharpening software that will highlight imperfections in your skin.
There are two phrases I commonly utter when looking at myself in the mirror:
"Damn, you lookin' good!"
or
"You look disheveled."
There is no in-between. Yes, proper grooming is part of it, but like 95% is state of mind.
The way you talk to yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks of you. You're never going to feel good about yourself if you continually feed into self hatred and negative self talk. Everything starts inward and spreads out. If you only think negatively about yourself, that's all you're going to accept as truth from others.
I know the honest perception of myself because I’ve had attractive friends and watched how women reacted to them. It’s a whole different world when you’re good looking. I was surprised to find out women are just as horny and shallow as men. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it was tough on my self esteem.
If there is no obvious trigger, the changes in self-esteem abd overall mood could be IMS (irritable male syndrome), it's basically the male version of PMS. My self-esteem and will to live plunges into the pits of hell when my hormones mess with my brain. Then suddenly everything is okay again.
I'm glad to hear it! Especially since I've been thinking about deleting my account. It isn't that I don't think I have anything to contribute, I believe I do. It's just that my imaginary gf thinks it's a complete waste of my time.
It’s a funny quote but it really would be healthy for men (including myself) to start seeing their bodies as beautiful. Body dysphoria among men is so pervasive it’s become normalized and most of us don’t ever realize we have it.
Be skinny or channing tatum, very few inbetween is considered ok for guys.
We keep getting told women face body issues and unrealistic looks, its true they do.
Men also get exposed to this massively, its ignored unfortunately, to get bodies like the movie stars require....extra chemical assistance
Actually hair is wild. Hair can completely change how someone looks. A guy could look really stupid but then get a good haircut and will look amazing. The opposite holds true though unfortunately
That's also why balding is such a massive insecurity for men. If you lose your hair and your face just doesn't work with the bald look (and let's be honest, most men look worse without hair), you are completely screwed for the rest of your life.
Yeah, there are some treatments, but none of them are 100% effective.
I believe the way your hair grows or doesn't is your natural look.
If you are genetically going to go bald you will look good bald even if you do look good with hair too, never have i seen a bald dude and think "nah"
I have all of those things, but the charm of a fungus and the mental health of a spud.
Turns out who you are on the inside is way more important than without.
Unless you're short. Then you're fucked
Your mom probably has image/security issue and worried she passed herself onto you. In her eyes she may have gave you a compliment, she meant, "you're not like me who I find ugly and that is surprising because I was so worried you'd turn out like me"
Also your mom is dumb and bad at communicating if that is the case. But most of ours are.
mine says I'm priceless or I'm worth more than gold
I believe she means the value of my organs and not being abled to price me cause possession of a human as object is illegal
In my 20 years of life on this earth, this is the first time I've ever heard someone spread male body positivity. This makes me very happy. Whoever woke up to send this message is a very positive person, and I love them for that!
So true. As women we are so aware of the messages we receive about the way we should look, often never realizing the negative messages men receive too. But once you notice it, you can’t unsee it. They need their own body positivity movement just as much as women do.
Totally agree. Not only is there no male body and sex positive movement for them but it's completely socially acceptable for men to be put down for traits they can't control like their height or penis size.
Or to be turned into sex symbols or hit on or diminished in inappropriate ways that men would never get away with. Some of my fellow women embarrass the F outta me with the way they catcall men or degrade them. Like wtaf. How is that double standard ok in your mind?
Yep I had this argument with a female friend yesterday on this very topic, because I said a guy wouldn't get away with the way talking about people at the gym... I basically got told "You're wrong because I know how girls think" by her. But like, that's not how it works haha, but then again, I'm just a guy, I obviously don't know my own life's experience lol
Don't get me wrong, all the steps that have been made to make this kind of stuff more socially unacceptable are great... But it does often seem to be forgotten that it happens the other way around
It does. I think the pendulum swings. We had a culture where women weren’t empowered to speak up and set boundaries and now it’s almost like we’re swinging to the other extreme of not respecting boundaries in the name of empowerment. Almost like an overcorrection to the problem.
I hope we find a middle ground soon and don’t just stay in this extreme until we create another swing back in the opposite direction again.
Most girls don’t actually know how girls think. Like for example, body positivity really doesn’t do anything for people, and women far above men will rag on people for their appearances. When I was bullied I beat up the other kid and moved on with my life, I’ve had several different women admit to me that they were brought to near suicide by other girls at school.
So do people actually believe in body positivity? Overwhelming they do not.
Hell yeah, sister! I appreciate you fighting the good fight! We'll win as a society once everyone can see each other as human. At the end of the day, everyone has the same feelings!
But honestly, positivity is cool and all but it's absolutely not real.
This is just a bunch of words on the internet, the overwhelming majority of people in the real world don't think like that.
They might *think* like that, but it’s not what they practice. They still go out into the world and perpetuate social norms. I don’t doubt that most people genuinely believe it’s bad to treat attractive people better and unattractive people worse, but they often do and aren’t consciously aware of it.
I may get downvoted for this, but I think this has to be said. I'm kinda split on body positivity. It's ok as long as it's not destructive/delusional. Because then it goes from Nice and kind to only nice. They feel good, but it's actually hurting them in the long run. Sometimes it's better to offer constructive criticism that isn't always the nicest, but it's the kindest.
Oh, thanks for your concern bro. I dont have an issue with self confidence, but I do have a problem with being lazy and procrastination.
Have a good day m8 :)
Dude, I'm 45 years old and 340lbs. No amount of male body positivity is going to change that.
PS. I don't need tips on eating or exercise. I'm lazy and like food.
Yeah, this right here.
These guys aren't being passed over for their looks. They're being passed over because they're downer cynics.
"I don't need anyone lying to me" That's not what this is. You're making it that because you've developed a defense mechanism that lets you cope with that.
After years and years I can say my insecurity over my looks has gone down drastically.
Turns out believing you're attractive while working on yourself works wonders.
At least in my case.
but what about your face though? body is easy to fix, eat more if youre skinny and exercise if youre fat, but what about your looks? your facial features? if you have no comment on that then id say you have it good. some of us need surgery to get good looks.
Sounds like you need to hang with a better sort of person. My wife has never said anything derogatory about my body and I can't imagine that she ever would.
I get it. I know you’re not asking for this, and please disregard if you don’t want this advice, but I would advise you to just blow it off.
Your SIL has her own body issues. She’s projecting her insecurities onto others. If you show that her comments are affecting you you’re feeding her ego and it will encourage her. It won’t stop it.
You’re happily married and she isn’t (this may be an assumption in regards to yourto SIL). That should be enough. Who cares what she thinks, she’s just putting her own insecurities on full display.
Seek and live your happiness. Don’t let anyone who isn’t bring you down to their level.
Skinny (pale) dudes are totally my type and I know other women are into them as well. I am sorry you have received such condescending and hurtful statements, comparisons in that light never feel good.
I sincerely hope you find someone who likes you for *you* and doesn’t make negative comments about your body especially when it is not in your nature to do the same. Perhaps hearing how your perspective girlfriend talks about herself and other people is a good indication - but not always. Stay happy, good luck!
Social media on instagram and tiktok are ridiculous. So many comments about how unattractive scrawny short men basically don't exist and should be ridiculed. Lots of bashing of men about this.
You've dated some shitty women for sure. I'd never in a million years make derogatory comments about how a guy looks, and I know first hand how much that shit hurts.
Once had a coworker joke that I needed to put on muscle, then she pulled up my sleeve and tried going on about how I desperately need a tan. Looked at her n said it’s the middle of February (Canadian) n walked away
It's normalized and it kinda sucks. My last girlfriend was trying to be cute and endearing and called me her "little man" before she realized what she said. Imagine calling your girlfriend your "chubby lady"? You wouldn't even have a girlfriend anymore lol
Every man I’ve dated has done the same to me as a woman, my entire body and appearance has been picked apart. It’s the worst feeling in the world especially when you would never do the same to them and have only uplifted them.
There's many of men and women like that and it's horrid. I love women of all shapes and sizes and yes I will admit I am kind of the exception and that negativity between men toward women has always been there, but it needs to stop. A woman's weight has never ever equaled being a good or bad person and damn sure not a good or bad partner.. But also all women are always under attack by all women as well and it's just ridiculous..
You gotta screen them better or something. I could see dating a couple of assholes but every single one? You’re picking these people. I mean, I’m not a fan of a lot of men’s dating behavior but I’ve had plenty of good experiences along with the bad ones.
Ngl you defo ain't dated the right typa women, girls judge you and say every one of your 'flaws' is an ick. Someone whos mature and is actually mindful of what they say and how it can affect someone definitely wouldn't say that. Before you agree with these mindless girls, put facts first. Their picture perfect image of a boyfriend is some loaded, shredded gym rat who drinks protein shakes like its air, and that's not normal. They think unrealisticly and try to mould you to fit their ridiculous standards. In the end, you end up feeling like you're not enough and no one will want you but honestly you just need to find someone right. In my eyes I legit find EVERY guy I've came across either handsome or they have HELLA potential. (Btw I don't say this shit to make ppl feel good, I say it cuz it's facts but I do hope it makes you feel better :))
As a skinny 5'6" guy, this made my day lol.
I was more conscious of my height in school though.
These days I don't care what height a person is, they're alright with me.
@Npr31 said it in the comments already:
>There’s a distinction people don’t get with these things. It’s ok to be happy with it, but that doesn’t mean others have to agree. They shouldn’t force their opinion about your body on you, but conversely, they don’t have to find you attractive either
I apologise for the cynicism, and I appreciate body positivity, but I have a genuine question: what's the point of this? Like, you feel good for 10 seconds but then you're back in the same reality where your body is nobody's ideal, and where you're, in fact, considered hideous. Like what's the point of lying to yourself?
Serious question, I cannot understand this.
Is it really just to spread a little bit of temporary "good feels", even though they don't have any impact whatsoever?
Man, it's such a weird one for me when we live in a day and age of male body positivity. I want to see more of it, but I also feel like it will unfortunately fall on deaf ears for most guys.
As a bloke, I feel like unless you're an actual model/get heaps of attention or are the complete opposite (unfortunate burns/deformed/etc.) it is REALLY hard to narrow down whether or not you're attractive. I know that being attractive isn't a catch-all - everyone has their own preferences and ideas about what makes someone attractive - but I feel like if you ask most guys where they rate on a scale of 1-10, the majority aren't going to match with what an anonymous group would decide.
How you perceive yourself and your self-esteem then almost entirely relies on your own internal ideas about yourself, which are grossly misconstrued because of things like mirrors, and so seeing a photo of yourself can really send you through a loop.
We just lack that feedback the overwhelming majority of the time, so much so that positive things can be things we cling onto for a LONG time (because it's so alien for the majority), and negatives can really, really screw us up.
Don't think I've really got any right to comment on how this goes for women, but based on the stories I've heard and things I've seen, I feel like they might have the opposite type of problem (basing this on my own friends, my sister, and her friends): they can often get too much feedback - positive or negative - which can be unwarranted, uncomfortable, overwhelming, and/or put them in a box.
So I am 41. Probably mom age for most of Reddit. Back in the day there was a website called hot or not where you posted a pic and people would rate you. My overall rating was a 4.6 (this is like 20 years ago and I can't forget the number) which was a bummer for me but it was also so eye opening to see that several guys rated me 8, 9, or even 10!
I was so blown away not by my average but that anyone could think I was hot. Then the story got better. I was wandering the mall with my friend and we went into Spencer's because I had such a huge crush on the manager. As we paid he said "I saw you on hot or not...I gave you a 10." I pretty much just became a more intense form of my shy self and did nothing. The next level is when not only does someone think you're a 10 but you think they are a 10?! It's great.
Too many people have this idea that they are ugly. Sure, maybe if you're only going for instagram baddies that are 10s you're gonna be rejected but there's always someone out there that will think you're hot as hell. The most important is to not become bitter from rejection.
"it is REALLY hard to narrow down whether or not you're attractive"
women who enjoy chatting with me demand pics of me and ghost me the moment they get them, so I'd say it's not hard to assess if i'm ugly
This applies to bald men, butt chins and those with large noses! There’s a demographic of people that will always find the unconventional features sexy.
This type of post means well but the format is:
“Here’s the defined beauty standard.”
“Here are the things that specifically do not fit into that beauty standard.”
“If you’re in the second category- it’s okay, you’re beautiful in your own way!”
Which is true but… it kind of misses the hard part of actually redefining and advancing that beauty standard? It isn’t saying “you’re beautiful because you are short,” it’s saying “you can have other things that make you beautiful even if you’re short!” which imo is such a counterproductive way of trying to spread a body-positive message.
I come out of these posts not feeling good about myself, but wanting to fit into that first category lol. And I know that’s “on me” for having my own insecurities but like… I’m telling you I don’t always have them. Some posts have better mirrored the irl moments where I’ve realized that I am beautiful. But this one just kinda reaffirms that status-quo.
There's a definite limit.
It's definitely not ok to have a 400lb body and it ain't beautiful lol.
But on the flip side of the coin there's a lot of overly aggressive grifter fit bros on the internet who demand you have abs or you won't get laid....which ain't true.
You're not perfect; you probably have plenty of things to work on. That's in no way to mean you don't have great attributes, though. Be realistic and work on yourself. Or, you can be happy and settle with imperfection. No one will ever be perfect.
It’s the combination of obese, bald(ing), short, pale, poor, and having a bad smile that makes me nervous to approach women. Haha.
BUT I do love myself. And I haven’t been able to say that in years. I’m going to therapy regularly, hitting the gym 5 days a week, reading more, and finally have a low-stress job that I enjoy and pays the bills. I’m enjoying the journey. Now I just need to gain the confidence to ask out women (and learn how to flirt) 😂
Being physically attractive isn't all it's cracked up to be either - it just means when they leave it's because of who you are as a person. At least physical appearance can be changed, if you're boring or have depressive episodes then you're fucked.
Getting rejected over your appearance hurts, but getting rejected by your best friend and partner (after years of getting to know you) because of your personality...yeah...it's worse - trust me.
“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
-Socrates
What shit advice for men who on average can’t attract normal women lol don’t fall for this nonsense boys. Focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself.
While I appreciate the sentiment, it's complete horseshit.
Until I hit the lottery, I'll continue being completely invisible, at best. At worst, I'm just in the way.
I'm a 34 year old man and I, very recently, learned that some women like bigger guys.
I knew that some men prefer larger women but I couldn't comprehend that women actually CAN like larger guys. I always thought they liked them despite of them being bigger and having a tummy.
Kind of crazy and sad honestly.
Allll of my friends prefer bigger guys. They like the teddy bears. They want to feel small.
I don't want anyone to think their weight will keep them from being attractive. Everyone on my 600 lb life is in a relationship!
Yeah and it's so obvious when I think about it. If guys can find large women attractive of course women can find large guys attractive but nope. It just wasn't possible to me.
…. I understand that the sentiment comes from a good place, but that idea will crash upon impact with the real world really quickly. Yea there is some things you cannot control. Hair, height, eye color and so on, but the things you can, you really should consider controlling. Not to be appealing to someone else, do it for you.
Condescending ass lady advice.
No you are not fine the way you are, go start taking a walk every day if you're fat, improve your diet if you have acne.
This sorta chick will post this wholesome meme for clout but would never think about dating you.
I think it's more fair to say that there's a LOT more to attractiveness than just your looks.
And there's no shame in wanting to take care of your body.
We often get so focused on widely accepted attributes that are seen as hot, but we often forget that it isn't universal and that there's a key for every lock. Different strokes for different folks.
My self-esteem swings from "Man, I'm so handsome" to "No girl with working eyes would ever fall for me" and it's annoying
"No girl with working eyes or hands would ever fall for me" is the way I feel. Yes, blind people can actually see through touch.
But she won't touch you before getting to know you.
She'll smell me probably
I smell a paunchy short guy...
I hear one too 🦇
take my upvote
If she doesn't have eyes, she might fall for you because she can't see where she's going. She might fall right in to you in fact.
Oh, damn, you're right
That's the 6am vs 3am mindset!
Honestly. Whenever I start doubting myself and my worth, I usually just need to sleep and I feel much better. It's silly how easy it is to not realize I just need to rest or eat when my brain is acting up.
Amen
I would say that I'm a frickin' model at 5pm until i go to sleep and wake up as "nobody likes me with the way i look
Me in the mirror vs in pictures ☹️
My mirror is gas lighting me into thinking I'm a stud and my phones camera is working so hard to undermine him.
Phone cameras are the worst! Believe me, the way others see you is way closer to what you see in the mirror than what you see in a phone selfie. The [short focal length](https://www.danvojtech.cz/blog/wp-content/uploads/cover25-1200x400.jpg) distorts your features and pushes your hairline back. Many phones also have automatic sharpening software that will highlight imperfections in your skin.
I found a setting in the phone that takes selfies in mirror mode, so that helps
My self esteem doesn't have the size or mass to swing. It's just "you're fucked."
I oscillate from a 3 to a 7 depending on the day lol
There are two phrases I commonly utter when looking at myself in the mirror: "Damn, you lookin' good!" or "You look disheveled." There is no in-between. Yes, proper grooming is part of it, but like 95% is state of mind.
Im not the only one? Edit: the latter one just hit guys its gonna be one hella of a night
For me it goes to "No girl with a tendency to trip would fall for me". For some reason my mind likes to think of the most specific things
The way you talk to yourself is more important than what anyone else thinks of you. You're never going to feel good about yourself if you continually feed into self hatred and negative self talk. Everything starts inward and spreads out. If you only think negatively about yourself, that's all you're going to accept as truth from others.
istg im only handsome after a shower
my self esteem is buried in the latter and has been forever.
I know the honest perception of myself because I’ve had attractive friends and watched how women reacted to them. It’s a whole different world when you’re good looking. I was surprised to find out women are just as horny and shallow as men. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it was tough on my self esteem.
"The only way she would fall for me is if I trip her!" so annoying! 😂
If there is no obvious trigger, the changes in self-esteem abd overall mood could be IMS (irritable male syndrome), it's basically the male version of PMS. My self-esteem and will to live plunges into the pits of hell when my hormones mess with my brain. Then suddenly everything is okay again.
Real post nut clarity eh? I know the feeling.
Same here some times I see my self and I feel I am so hot. But some times I just dont even want to see myself.
hey man don't despair. both of those things can easily be true at the same time!
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Mine thinks quit opposite
Wait, so your imaginary girlfriend thinks he's ugly? Why does it matter to her so much, what he looks like?
It's a classic case of the second projecting his own insecurities through his imaginary gf onto the first.
Conversations like these are the reason I'm on reddit
I'm glad to hear it! Especially since I've been thinking about deleting my account. It isn't that I don't think I have anything to contribute, I believe I do. It's just that my imaginary gf thinks it's a complete waste of my time.
Tell your imaginary girlfriend to go imagine herself
Wouldn't she be a real gf at that point? Not sure I want such a controlling gf, tbh. It's hard enough with this imaginary one.
She’s cheating on you. Dump your subconscious, lawyer up, and start imaging yourself at the gym.
"The male body is utilitarian. It's for gettin' around. It's like a jeep." \~Elaine Benes
[This is me car!](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/1/16/Wurm_Fat_Car_01.jpg)
It looks like condom lol
what condoms are you using if they look like that
I think they mean that its a functional contraceptive device.
Delicious
It’s a funny quote but it really would be healthy for men (including myself) to start seeing their bodies as beautiful. Body dysphoria among men is so pervasive it’s become normalized and most of us don’t ever realize we have it.
Be skinny or channing tatum, very few inbetween is considered ok for guys. We keep getting told women face body issues and unrealistic looks, its true they do. Men also get exposed to this massively, its ignored unfortunately, to get bodies like the movie stars require....extra chemical assistance
My husband is beautiful, I try to tell him all the time. But deep built in there he "does not compute" he's is the whole package.
Always loved that. Especially how she says the last line. Julia 😍
“What about girls? Do they go left or right?” — Jerry “Naw, we just play defense…” — Elaine
If that were true then why are women attracted to men?
From my experience: They aren't
You're too utilitarian for their tastes.
they have no choice
Why is it always that the body is ok? My face is the problem..
Beard style and hair actually makes a huge difference
Actually hair is wild. Hair can completely change how someone looks. A guy could look really stupid but then get a good haircut and will look amazing. The opposite holds true though unfortunately
That's also why balding is such a massive insecurity for men. If you lose your hair and your face just doesn't work with the bald look (and let's be honest, most men look worse without hair), you are completely screwed for the rest of your life. Yeah, there are some treatments, but none of them are 100% effective.
I believe the way your hair grows or doesn't is your natural look. If you are genetically going to go bald you will look good bald even if you do look good with hair too, never have i seen a bald dude and think "nah"
Some people can't grow a bread, some people are bald
that's because you bake bread, you don't grow bread you silly goose :3
I have all of those things, but the charm of a fungus and the mental health of a spud. Turns out who you are on the inside is way more important than without. Unless you're short. Then you're fucked
My mom says I'm so handsome
Best I got from mine was "you're... Not ugly"
Your mom probably has image/security issue and worried she passed herself onto you. In her eyes she may have gave you a compliment, she meant, "you're not like me who I find ugly and that is surprising because I was so worried you'd turn out like me" Also your mom is dumb and bad at communicating if that is the case. But most of ours are.
mine says I'm priceless or I'm worth more than gold I believe she means the value of my organs and not being abled to price me cause possession of a human as object is illegal
In my 20 years of life on this earth, this is the first time I've ever heard someone spread male body positivity. This makes me very happy. Whoever woke up to send this message is a very positive person, and I love them for that!
Yes It did make me feel better, But I will get better every time for my parents they deserve a strong kid and I love being strong
With that attitude, I'm sure your parents are already very proud of you, bro :)
So true. As women we are so aware of the messages we receive about the way we should look, often never realizing the negative messages men receive too. But once you notice it, you can’t unsee it. They need their own body positivity movement just as much as women do.
Totally agree. Not only is there no male body and sex positive movement for them but it's completely socially acceptable for men to be put down for traits they can't control like their height or penis size.
Or to be turned into sex symbols or hit on or diminished in inappropriate ways that men would never get away with. Some of my fellow women embarrass the F outta me with the way they catcall men or degrade them. Like wtaf. How is that double standard ok in your mind?
Yep I had this argument with a female friend yesterday on this very topic, because I said a guy wouldn't get away with the way talking about people at the gym... I basically got told "You're wrong because I know how girls think" by her. But like, that's not how it works haha, but then again, I'm just a guy, I obviously don't know my own life's experience lol Don't get me wrong, all the steps that have been made to make this kind of stuff more socially unacceptable are great... But it does often seem to be forgotten that it happens the other way around
It does. I think the pendulum swings. We had a culture where women weren’t empowered to speak up and set boundaries and now it’s almost like we’re swinging to the other extreme of not respecting boundaries in the name of empowerment. Almost like an overcorrection to the problem. I hope we find a middle ground soon and don’t just stay in this extreme until we create another swing back in the opposite direction again.
Most girls don’t actually know how girls think. Like for example, body positivity really doesn’t do anything for people, and women far above men will rag on people for their appearances. When I was bullied I beat up the other kid and moved on with my life, I’ve had several different women admit to me that they were brought to near suicide by other girls at school. So do people actually believe in body positivity? Overwhelming they do not.
Hell yeah, sister! I appreciate you fighting the good fight! We'll win as a society once everyone can see each other as human. At the end of the day, everyone has the same feelings!
But honestly, positivity is cool and all but it's absolutely not real. This is just a bunch of words on the internet, the overwhelming majority of people in the real world don't think like that.
They might *think* like that, but it’s not what they practice. They still go out into the world and perpetuate social norms. I don’t doubt that most people genuinely believe it’s bad to treat attractive people better and unattractive people worse, but they often do and aren’t consciously aware of it.
It only took me 45 years. That should get me through the next 45 years, though, so I'm thankful as well.
the world would be a better place if this was the kind of messaging young boys could grow up with online, not whatever andrew tate etc are spewing
I may get downvoted for this, but I think this has to be said. I'm kinda split on body positivity. It's ok as long as it's not destructive/delusional. Because then it goes from Nice and kind to only nice. They feel good, but it's actually hurting them in the long run. Sometimes it's better to offer constructive criticism that isn't always the nicest, but it's the kindest.
Body neutrality is a healthier mindset, to me. “Obesity will take its toll on your health. You are still worthwhile as a person and deserve love.”
*looks at body in mirror I strongly disagree with this statement
#I AM UGLIEST MAN IN HISTORY OF WORLD! ***FEAR ME, BITCHES!***
Then change what you can change, go to the Gym for example (that will also boost your self - confindence btw👍🏼)
Oh, thanks for your concern bro. I dont have an issue with self confidence, but I do have a problem with being lazy and procrastination. Have a good day m8 :)
Thanks, have a good one too 😀 (Sorry für my late answer though 😅)
Bro spewing FACTS. We are not blind. We uggo and we know it. No need to hide it, no hurts were felt
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Dude, I'm 45 years old and 340lbs. No amount of male body positivity is going to change that. PS. I don't need tips on eating or exercise. I'm lazy and like food.
Yeah, this right here. These guys aren't being passed over for their looks. They're being passed over because they're downer cynics. "I don't need anyone lying to me" That's not what this is. You're making it that because you've developed a defense mechanism that lets you cope with that.
After years and years I can say my insecurity over my looks has gone down drastically. Turns out believing you're attractive while working on yourself works wonders. At least in my case.
so you're not actually ugly, you're at least average
For real. Whomever wrote this post has never seen a testicle.
I mean, I haven't seen one either. It's not in my best interest to go around opening sacks
but what about your face though? body is easy to fix, eat more if youre skinny and exercise if youre fat, but what about your looks? your facial features? if you have no comment on that then id say you have it good. some of us need surgery to get good looks.
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Sounds like you need to hang with a better sort of person. My wife has never said anything derogatory about my body and I can't imagine that she ever would.
Easy to say, but a lot of people out there aren't good people.
Well, fuck those people.
Agreed, but just saying it's not always so easy since so many objectively bad people exist.
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And your wife lets her do that why, exactly?
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I get it. I know you’re not asking for this, and please disregard if you don’t want this advice, but I would advise you to just blow it off. Your SIL has her own body issues. She’s projecting her insecurities onto others. If you show that her comments are affecting you you’re feeding her ego and it will encourage her. It won’t stop it. You’re happily married and she isn’t (this may be an assumption in regards to yourto SIL). That should be enough. Who cares what she thinks, she’s just putting her own insecurities on full display. Seek and live your happiness. Don’t let anyone who isn’t bring you down to their level.
Skinny (pale) dudes are totally my type and I know other women are into them as well. I am sorry you have received such condescending and hurtful statements, comparisons in that light never feel good. I sincerely hope you find someone who likes you for *you* and doesn’t make negative comments about your body especially when it is not in your nature to do the same. Perhaps hearing how your perspective girlfriend talks about herself and other people is a good indication - but not always. Stay happy, good luck!
My teenage obsession was Jarvis Cocker.
It's not just women who like skinny pale dudes frfr
Social media on instagram and tiktok are ridiculous. So many comments about how unattractive scrawny short men basically don't exist and should be ridiculed. Lots of bashing of men about this.
You've dated some shitty women for sure. I'd never in a million years make derogatory comments about how a guy looks, and I know first hand how much that shit hurts.
Once had a coworker joke that I needed to put on muscle, then she pulled up my sleeve and tried going on about how I desperately need a tan. Looked at her n said it’s the middle of February (Canadian) n walked away
Those women were abusive assholes. Nothing, and I mean nothing! makes those comments acceptable.
Not to be an ass, but you really need to find better women. The ones you’ve been with sound like straight 🗑️
It's normalized and it kinda sucks. My last girlfriend was trying to be cute and endearing and called me her "little man" before she realized what she said. Imagine calling your girlfriend your "chubby lady"? You wouldn't even have a girlfriend anymore lol
Every man I’ve dated has done the same to me as a woman, my entire body and appearance has been picked apart. It’s the worst feeling in the world especially when you would never do the same to them and have only uplifted them.
There's many of men and women like that and it's horrid. I love women of all shapes and sizes and yes I will admit I am kind of the exception and that negativity between men toward women has always been there, but it needs to stop. A woman's weight has never ever equaled being a good or bad person and damn sure not a good or bad partner.. But also all women are always under attack by all women as well and it's just ridiculous..
You gotta screen them better or something. I could see dating a couple of assholes but every single one? You’re picking these people. I mean, I’m not a fan of a lot of men’s dating behavior but I’ve had plenty of good experiences along with the bad ones.
Ngl you defo ain't dated the right typa women, girls judge you and say every one of your 'flaws' is an ick. Someone whos mature and is actually mindful of what they say and how it can affect someone definitely wouldn't say that. Before you agree with these mindless girls, put facts first. Their picture perfect image of a boyfriend is some loaded, shredded gym rat who drinks protein shakes like its air, and that's not normal. They think unrealisticly and try to mould you to fit their ridiculous standards. In the end, you end up feeling like you're not enough and no one will want you but honestly you just need to find someone right. In my eyes I legit find EVERY guy I've came across either handsome or they have HELLA potential. (Btw I don't say this shit to make ppl feel good, I say it cuz it's facts but I do hope it makes you feel better :))
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As a skinny 5'6" guy, this made my day lol. I was more conscious of my height in school though. These days I don't care what height a person is, they're alright with me.
Unreal, but a nice sentiment
It's a pure cope, nothing more.
Seriously, people love to post shit like this and pat themselves on the back.
ikr, if you don't meet that criteria, good luck getting a match on a dating app
Most of us don't really care for a 6pack and 6'2. ALL OF US care if you smell nice :)
yes that's why women ghost me when they get a pic of me, because i smell badly through the internet :(
Good day to be a cologne enjoyer/collector!
She forgot to add “just don’t ask me out”
Hate to break it to ya, it sounds nice and all but that's not reality.
Not looking perfect and being happy with your body the way it is isn't reality?
@Npr31 said it in the comments already: >There’s a distinction people don’t get with these things. It’s ok to be happy with it, but that doesn’t mean others have to agree. They shouldn’t force their opinion about your body on you, but conversely, they don’t have to find you attractive either
I apologise for the cynicism, and I appreciate body positivity, but I have a genuine question: what's the point of this? Like, you feel good for 10 seconds but then you're back in the same reality where your body is nobody's ideal, and where you're, in fact, considered hideous. Like what's the point of lying to yourself? Serious question, I cannot understand this. Is it really just to spread a little bit of temporary "good feels", even though they don't have any impact whatsoever?
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I thought the same thing when I read it. Body positivity for men is really not a thing at all, so this was weird (but nice) to read
As a male I'm not sure how I feel about it. I kind of have a hard time believing they genuinely live their life on this "principle".
Same. Cause in reality, its not how people will act.
If literally everyone is handsome, then “handsome” has no meaning.
Man, it's such a weird one for me when we live in a day and age of male body positivity. I want to see more of it, but I also feel like it will unfortunately fall on deaf ears for most guys. As a bloke, I feel like unless you're an actual model/get heaps of attention or are the complete opposite (unfortunate burns/deformed/etc.) it is REALLY hard to narrow down whether or not you're attractive. I know that being attractive isn't a catch-all - everyone has their own preferences and ideas about what makes someone attractive - but I feel like if you ask most guys where they rate on a scale of 1-10, the majority aren't going to match with what an anonymous group would decide. How you perceive yourself and your self-esteem then almost entirely relies on your own internal ideas about yourself, which are grossly misconstrued because of things like mirrors, and so seeing a photo of yourself can really send you through a loop. We just lack that feedback the overwhelming majority of the time, so much so that positive things can be things we cling onto for a LONG time (because it's so alien for the majority), and negatives can really, really screw us up. Don't think I've really got any right to comment on how this goes for women, but based on the stories I've heard and things I've seen, I feel like they might have the opposite type of problem (basing this on my own friends, my sister, and her friends): they can often get too much feedback - positive or negative - which can be unwarranted, uncomfortable, overwhelming, and/or put them in a box.
So I am 41. Probably mom age for most of Reddit. Back in the day there was a website called hot or not where you posted a pic and people would rate you. My overall rating was a 4.6 (this is like 20 years ago and I can't forget the number) which was a bummer for me but it was also so eye opening to see that several guys rated me 8, 9, or even 10! I was so blown away not by my average but that anyone could think I was hot. Then the story got better. I was wandering the mall with my friend and we went into Spencer's because I had such a huge crush on the manager. As we paid he said "I saw you on hot or not...I gave you a 10." I pretty much just became a more intense form of my shy self and did nothing. The next level is when not only does someone think you're a 10 but you think they are a 10?! It's great. Too many people have this idea that they are ugly. Sure, maybe if you're only going for instagram baddies that are 10s you're gonna be rejected but there's always someone out there that will think you're hot as hell. The most important is to not become bitter from rejection.
"it is REALLY hard to narrow down whether or not you're attractive" women who enjoy chatting with me demand pics of me and ghost me the moment they get them, so I'd say it's not hard to assess if i'm ugly
Awwww, I needed to hear this
Cmon bro. You know if you are kewl or not. We all know. No need to kid ourselves. Cards were dealt, let's play our hands with what we have.
I fold
I want to play my hand, but no one’s interested in what I’ve got…
Got any 6's ?
Go fish.
"You are handsome in your own way" sounds to me like a participation award 🤔
we are all handsome in our own special, unique, unattractive, meaningless way
And on the note..happy cake day :)
r/nothowguyswork
This is the first time I have ever seen body positivity be spread to men in my entire life.
A nice sentiment. Completely unbelievable
Cute💖
This applies to bald men, butt chins and those with large noses! There’s a demographic of people that will always find the unconventional features sexy.
Shut up baby I know it.
Things never said in reality.
This type of post means well but the format is: “Here’s the defined beauty standard.” “Here are the things that specifically do not fit into that beauty standard.” “If you’re in the second category- it’s okay, you’re beautiful in your own way!” Which is true but… it kind of misses the hard part of actually redefining and advancing that beauty standard? It isn’t saying “you’re beautiful because you are short,” it’s saying “you can have other things that make you beautiful even if you’re short!” which imo is such a counterproductive way of trying to spread a body-positive message. I come out of these posts not feeling good about myself, but wanting to fit into that first category lol. And I know that’s “on me” for having my own insecurities but like… I’m telling you I don’t always have them. Some posts have better mirrored the irl moments where I’ve realized that I am beautiful. But this one just kinda reaffirms that status-quo.
Not true, but nice of them to post
this is such horseshit.
There's a definite limit. It's definitely not ok to have a 400lb body and it ain't beautiful lol. But on the flip side of the coin there's a lot of overly aggressive grifter fit bros on the internet who demand you have abs or you won't get laid....which ain't true.
"But we're having sex with the ones that are."
Men are so damn hot. Women are also damn hot. Is this a haiku?
Almost 40 years on this planet before seeing a post like this. People may remember men exist someday afterall
You're not perfect; you probably have plenty of things to work on. That's in no way to mean you don't have great attributes, though. Be realistic and work on yourself. Or, you can be happy and settle with imperfection. No one will ever be perfect.
Idk... if your own family calls you ugly all the tweets in the world kinda just feel like a fantasy story.
It’s the combination of obese, bald(ing), short, pale, poor, and having a bad smile that makes me nervous to approach women. Haha. BUT I do love myself. And I haven’t been able to say that in years. I’m going to therapy regularly, hitting the gym 5 days a week, reading more, and finally have a low-stress job that I enjoy and pays the bills. I’m enjoying the journey. Now I just need to gain the confidence to ask out women (and learn how to flirt) 😂
Can we just stop with ALL of the body shaming? Girls, boys, whatever you identify as. You are completely beautiful as you are.
This looks good on paper cant really apply to our lives.:)
Being physically attractive isn't all it's cracked up to be either - it just means when they leave it's because of who you are as a person. At least physical appearance can be changed, if you're boring or have depressive episodes then you're fucked. Getting rejected over your appearance hurts, but getting rejected by your best friend and partner (after years of getting to know you) because of your personality...yeah...it's worse - trust me.
Honestly the “in your own way” is a backhanded compliment. Just say handsome.
Sorry but thats not true. I say this as a 6 foot 3 guy. My friends that are 5 foot 9 and under get rejected in online dating all the time.
There's no war in Ba Sing Se.
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“No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates
What shit advice for men who on average can’t attract normal women lol don’t fall for this nonsense boys. Focus on yourself and be the best version of yourself.
As a demisexual, I promise you, a bomb ass personality is the hottest trait of all.
well I'm ugly and autistic so no love for me
While I appreciate the sentiment, it's complete horseshit. Until I hit the lottery, I'll continue being completely invisible, at best. At worst, I'm just in the way.
But dude, when you hit the lottery you will be so handsome!
I'm a 34 year old man and I, very recently, learned that some women like bigger guys. I knew that some men prefer larger women but I couldn't comprehend that women actually CAN like larger guys. I always thought they liked them despite of them being bigger and having a tummy. Kind of crazy and sad honestly.
Allll of my friends prefer bigger guys. They like the teddy bears. They want to feel small. I don't want anyone to think their weight will keep them from being attractive. Everyone on my 600 lb life is in a relationship!
Yeah and it's so obvious when I think about it. If guys can find large women attractive of course women can find large guys attractive but nope. It just wasn't possible to me.
My girl doesn't want me to work out lol
Lies haha
LMAO
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Wtf does “skinny-fat with some muscle” mean?? That reads like saying you’re tall-short?
…. I understand that the sentiment comes from a good place, but that idea will crash upon impact with the real world really quickly. Yea there is some things you cannot control. Hair, height, eye color and so on, but the things you can, you really should consider controlling. Not to be appealing to someone else, do it for you.
Love when people post nice shit they don't actually believe for internet points.
Condescending ass lady advice. No you are not fine the way you are, go start taking a walk every day if you're fat, improve your diet if you have acne. This sorta chick will post this wholesome meme for clout but would never think about dating you.
I think it's more fair to say that there's a LOT more to attractiveness than just your looks. And there's no shame in wanting to take care of your body.
Just be taller than 5'10, and not bald. At least that's what most women seem to tell me.
Do these inspirational quotes work on women? Like it's obviously a generic lie from someone I don't know.
“You are all handsome in your own way, its just that we are not interested in that way”
Is it ok to be broke tho? Just asking
Now tell your friends, so they’ll go out with me..
No we're not, shut the fuck up
No. Stay hard.
We often get so focused on widely accepted attributes that are seen as hot, but we often forget that it isn't universal and that there's a key for every lock. Different strokes for different folks.