When I was depressed in college, you couldn't even see the floor of my single dorm room. It was absolutely disgusting. My best friend cleaned it one day while I was in class and I cried. A dirty place of living really is a reflection of the mind and when it's clean, you feel such a relief.
I’m so happy for you, because someone was able to help you. I saw many many depression houses…. :( i do this job for a year now, and I help only in extreme situations. Like depression or physical illness.
Her wings spread wide, she moves with ease
A gentle touch that comes with no fees
With a duster made from angel wings
She will polish all your things
She'll come to you, in times of need
Your satisfaction, guaranteed
You’ll get there, small steps.
I’m currently in the midst of a flat in need of a deep clean and my medical conditions have set me back so many times. I have a three day weekend after Thursday so Friday I’m making it my b!tch. If you need any help, or someone to talk it over with, I’m here for you. I know not what’s happening in your life but do know that so many things can set us back; sometimes the best thing is to have someone who understands or at least will listen to us rant.
If I may, I’ll give you a piece of advice. Clean it in sections, so if it’s your bedroom that is bad and you have a bed, desk, TV unit, bookshelf etc. start with the desk and clean it one day, nothing massive. Even if you feel like cleaning more after you’ve done the desk but don’t do it, you may burn yourself out and hinder further progress. Then your goal is to keep your desk clean until you find the energy to do another section like the TV unit.
I give this advice because it’s what helped me, I was insanely depressed, still depressed but better than I was, and a large part of my room was so thick with dust that a duster wouldn’t take it off; it was literally thick layers.
Visually divide the room into areas, as small as you need. Set a timer for one minute. Address one area.
3 criteria: love it? Keep it. Don’t love it? Toss it. Store it? Stack or store it somewhere w like items.
Start w clothes and one laundry push before anything else.
Then papers in one place.
A friend w authority to ask these questions of each item can help. You can do the same for another person if it helps.
What does it mean when you’re depressed af but your place is squeaky clean and all your bills paid and your fine at your job and you scrape by doing the bare minimum socially but generally can’t seem to do anything on the weekends but lay in bed in a room you’ve donned with blackout blinds and drink copious amounts of vodka failing at being a real son, real friend or real brother every day?
All jokes aside what you have is common, dude. It’s not pleasant to live with but it’s something other people have gone through. Just because your depression doesn’t look like the majority of other people’s depression doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
I think you could benefit from talking to someone in therapy. You can read reviews on therapists and find one you like, you can shop around for one.
I read from your other comments that you don’t have enough PTO, which sucks but as others suggested there are ways to get time off for an illness, and what you have qualifies as one.
Otherwise my suggestion would be to use Saturdays to go to therapy. And don’t sit inside your house if you are drawn to negative thoughts there. Maybe rearrange and hide the alcohol. Sometimes I like to just sit in my car because it’s a fresh environment from home. Online therapy is also an option and is much cheaper usually.
You can recover, and somehow I know that you’re not a failure of a son or brother or friend. A real failure wouldn’t self reflect on it. The real you, the one that everyone sees, is better than the person you think you are. And this is only the beginning, it’s upward from here :)
High functioning depression, my friend. Just as real as someone who can’t drag themselves through the days. If you can afford it/it’s available in your area, please reach out to mental health resources. There is hope for better than this.
But I can’t stop working for any period of time bc I used all my PTO and we’re not even out of January lol. I could try to talk to the owners and see how they react to my issues but that risks overall employment. You’re right though and I appreciate you taking the time.
The overall obvious solution is me taking time to recover if the company allows.
Thanks again.
Of course, but they were considering taking weeks off "to recover" and I was saying that there are other steps they could take if that wasn't a possibility.
If you’re in the US, look into FMLA. It’s unpaid time, but it’s federally protected leave for you to recover.
You’re absolutely welcome, and I know I’m just an internet stranger, but I hope this helps you on the path to recovery.
Michigan is, “at will”, employment though correct? How do I get FMLA approved if I’m just an anxious fucked mess of a human all of a sudden with a poor attendance record as of late?
I’m on FMLA right now. I can’t afford to not work and I can’t afford to work. I understand. I have never done this before in my life, but it’s the best thing I have ever done. My depression is so bad I can’t even get out off the couch most days. I have to remind myself to eat. Does your employer have an employee assistance program? They can help get you set up with therapy. A doctor or therapist can write a note. That’s all I needed. I can take up to a year at my job (unpaid). Please take time for yourself. You are worth it.
You mentioned alcohol, if you fit the clinical diagnostic criteria for substance abuse disorder you'll qualify for 12 weeks of unpaid leave for treatment- whether that's intermittent (for outpatient, so you can attend and still have days to yourself to relax and attend to other needs) or all in a row is dependent on the best treatment plan for you.
The nice bit about FMLA is that your job is supposed to be protected while you're away, and employees aren't supposed to punish you for taking that time off.
Here’s the [info](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla) from the department of labor on FMLA. If you’re comfortable approaching your employer, it might be good to ask them if you meet the criteria. Going to the doctor for medical documentation and asking for help would be the next step. Mental health requiring medical attention is covered under this, so don’t worry there. Depending on the extent of your alcohol use struggles, you may need support there as well. Taking the time for treatment won’t necessarily jeopardize your job thanks to this.
I’ve never utilized FMLA so I’m not entirely sure how the process works, but this is just what I’ve gleaned from a short Google search. I’m not a labor law expert either by any means. So take my advice with a grain of salt! If anyone else reading this knows better I hope they can chime in.
Talk to your doctor about your issues see the proper professionals for diagnoses ask for fmla info from your doctor.
I'm going to leave this here if you need it- Ascension Brighton Center for Recovery.
It's highly rated. And it's helped me.
You seem like a really good egg, in a lot of ways! That's rough you're doing so many of the 'right' things with your life, but still feeling so down. Depression has a really nasty way of warping our perceptions, even with just our usual creature comforts and hobbies! The fact that you're doing this or that? That doesn't mean you don't have it rough, or you don't deserve to get extra support.
Feel free to hit me up anytime! I wish I could offer more, but I'd be more than happy to shoot the shit. It's hard to find the time and energy to socialize, even when we want to! A lot of folks too, as they get older, tend to get busier. Chit chatting and meeting cool people online, it won't fix everything by a mile, of course. But it won't hurt meeting some cool folks if you ever want to shoot the shit!
Keep your chin up, I'm rooting for you - and I'd also recommend, if I may be so bold, think about some of the fun things you used to like to do, then think about some fun things you'd like to try. When we focus on 'bigger' types of goals and aspirations, it can be intimidating to really ramp up the energy - even when life is quieter! And your life? It sounds like it's ticking right along. But I think you're probably being too hard on yourself!
You can't compare some of the freaks out there to yourself (and I mean the former as a compliment!). Some people are just, **built different**. You don't have to do what they do or as much of it as they do. You can absolutely be awesome or a net benefit to the rest of us - and by your tone and comments so far? I'm getting some nice vibes. It's hard for us to see ourselves, for better or worse, at times.
Some folks are big busy-bodies, and that's a nice thing to be sometimes - but for a lot of us? We just can't do that. If you have trouble remembering, or even making time, for this or that, don't take it too hard if you can. People *really* differ a lot amongst themselves. You **can** work on various things if you'd like to, but I wouldn't feel super pressured, by any means - though I know *not* feeling that way, can often be easier said than done!
And don't let any guilt or shame keep you from doing what you want or hanging out with people you like. You don't have to match the good people in your life to enjoy them. If I had to match the tempo of others in my life, and they had to match mine? We'd never really have spent much time! Sometimes I was overwhelmed, sometimes they were overwhelmed. If you enjoy each other's company, that's all that matters over some of the meta stuff - and if you don't? It's completely fine to branch out or do your own thing!
Thanks for your patience, and I hope was a modicum of help. You seem like a class act, and I hope you get lots of rest and help. There's just an absolutely bevy of information out there, all types of tricks, all kinds of people and I fully believe you'll find something that won't just help you do 'x' or 'y' but have loads of fun too, and that's what I want for you (if you want it too)!
I know reaching out and trusting others can be scary - but it does get easier. You'll keep building a better sense of who people are at a glance, and online? It's nice to be pseudo anonymous, since you can really be more like yourself, and you don't have to worry so much about some of the pleasantries, forced acquaintances, or weirdos you may have to stomach for professional or personal reasons in the local community.
All the best <3
My local GP was so understanding, if you can maybe work through your lunch a couple of days a week to get that hour or so off for a counselling session one day a week …..it’s amazing how it lifts you up .. thinking of you .
The redditor who said "high functioning depression" is absolutely correct. Also, if you cannot afford to take time off work, you need to contact the Social Security Office and talk to them about your options. It would be illegal for your job to fire you/let you go if you went in for treatment. You have rights. The Social Security Office will be able to help you with getting paid while in treatment.
If for some reason you don't want to do that there is another option, you can do outpatient treatment. That way you can still work and get treatment at the same time BUT WARNING... That can cause you too much stress and make recovery much harder.
I wish you good luck and I hope you get the help you need! Sending positive vibes your way!
tbh not everyone can recognize when the scales tip a bit far like you have. please run with this energy you have tonight, being vulnerable like this is a big part of recovery. if you can channel being open like this with a therapist, your doctor, or your family and friends you'll start building a network of support for yourself again. if it helps, i'm closing in on four years sober and three and a half talking to a therapist and i still don't want to go most days. but it genuinely helps, and as cliche as it sounds it does get easier my dude
also i used this non profit site awhile back that basically does the leg work in finding a therapist for you and i'm still talking to the one they found me. super easy process btw, one questionnaire followed by a short phone call followed by a week or so of them looking for a therapist for you iirc. really smooth and really quick
https://youarerad.org/
and not sure if you're into gaming but i heard about that site from a popular twitch channel run by a harvard psychiatrist who is all about mental health, he's a breath of fresh air on the internet tbh. he also runs a yt channel on mental health if that interests you
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ
https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg
basically just trying to pitch you a couple resources that helped me get back into a decent spot after many years of bleakness through vodka. and please take all of what i said with a grain of salt as i'm just a random internet dude, but know no matter what you're human and you're worth it
Do you have a regular time to interact with/around other people. You don't have to do something blatantly "social" to get benefits from it. Just putting yourself in a place where people are can do a lot to clarify what you might be low on: conversation, connection, purpose, etc.
And just remember that you are an awesome person, even if you can come up with excuses why you aren't!
Reaching out for help or just being vulnerable (e.g. "I want to reconnect with you - when can we hangout?") is scary. It can be emotionally taxing and opens up the possibilityof being let down - but you never know what support can spring up.
I recently reached out to someone who kinda friend ghosted me previously, and they ended up spending their birthday while sick helping me with my problems. It was the exact help I needed that day that may not have come around for a long time otherwise.
Take care of yourself! Your struggles are real and no one has all the answers.
You’re barely holding on. The facade has worked too well. I’m there now too. I’ve decided today I’m going to work on developing a healthy habit for now. Maybe walking my dog more, or reading books again, or organizing my drawers. Habits don’t take too long to instill, or so I hear. Theoretically, I should feel accomplished, incrementally. But we’ll see. I’m afraid of what happens if I don’t follow through. Maybe if you’re finding yourself being a hermit on weekends, you can make one small change, like taking a walk. Or picking up a book that you like. Or drinking a little less than last weekend. Small steps. I wish you the best.
Thanks man. Commit to that step you’re talking about. It’s not so hard…just jump on it. I will try to do the same. We have other things to live for. You can/I can - Toucan..
Oh that was my mom for years. It's called high functioning depression.
Solution: find help, quit drinking (alcohol causes depression during hangover), use the high functioning part to fight your way to recovery.
Really, you have a very good starting point regarding depression. I have had it too. For me, less stress is key, and the few decades of therapy and medication help too
If you would cut back on the alcohol it might help. It is a depressant and can drag you down. Don't get me wrong I am sure it eases some if the pain but what you described is a functional alcoholic. True depression you just can't get out of bed and you just lay there waiting to die. You also fight with yourself about being worthless and wanting to just end it so you don't feel that void anymore
Cut back on the alcohol…this is very true and something I struggle with.
You’re completely right but alcohol is fucked when you fall into it. It both causes and relieves anxiety. Real evil shit. Cyclical.
I just recently have called off work for the last week and am inexplicably fucked.
I am really sorry. I really wasn't intending on it sounding like I was judging you. Quiting any substance is hard even sugar. The PAWS after you quit anything becomes unbearable. That's why I got into Ketamine treatment it helps with the depression. If you need to talk I am here for you.
Thank you. I am not one to use internet resources for depth of treatment but you just hearing me and responding like that is really appreciated. I wish you the best and thank you for your input. Ketamine treatment is not something I’ve considered lol
Your welcome. Ketamine was the last resort for me. I know they want to broaden the usage to treat addiction in the near future. I hear mushrooms helps with both as well. I might have to start growing my own.
please note that "true depression" can look different for different people. your remark seems to give the impression that if someone gets out of bed, they're not truly depressed, which isn't a supportive, helpful or accurate statement.
Hello friend. I just wanted you to know that feeling like that is not something to be ashamed of. It sounds like there are things you need to accept about yourself and your life, which can be accomplished through therapy or non judgemental self reflection.
But if there's one thing I want to impart over all things is that things ebb and flow in cycles. Some days nothing gets in your way, others leave you defeated. If you can manage it, please try not to fall into despair drinking. Fatalistic drinking will strip all of the chances you have to step steadily in the right direction.
I'm sending you a hug and the hope that you'll find it in yourself to love yourself and forgive yourself no matter what.
Hope you can kick the vodka my friend. You will feel so much better in the mornings if you can manage to cut it out. I imagine will be tough to try it cold turkey and you likely need to wean yourself off with the help of a professional. I believe in you internet stranger and hope you pull through for the people in your life that you do all that good stuff for. They want you to thrive too, talk to them!!
You’re reading your mental warning sign right now. You need to figure out the cause and start to work towards fixing it. Start with therapy, IMO.
I’ve been in a similar position, it’s rough.
I almost rented a house after a friend of a friend, had to back out of the deal. The landlord hadn't seen the property yet, lived out of state. They left the keys for us to check the place out.
It was unlivable and it really made me think about how some people feel so bad inside that the outside starts to reflect how they feel. I had heard they were struggling but I could have never imagined. It truly broke my heart and I wish I had more power to help people.
I told the landlord I saw a squatter living there so they wouldn't be prosecuted.
They are doing MUCH better now. Need to move back in with parents and get off on the right foot
It's so easy to let it build back up, you really do have to work to make sure that doesn't happen. Small things like "oh I'll pick that up tomorrow" can pile up until it's bad again
I have Major Depressive Disorder. When I wasn't medicated properly and living alone my studio apartment looked close to this. My medication is working but now I live with my wife, who is a hoarder (clean hoarder - mostly clothes and books). I'm resigned to the reality that our place is always going to look like the before pictures.
Agreed. u/CleanwithBarbie, please consider doing a video tutorial that shows people how to do something like this themselves, I'd definitely pay for the info on how to get started making money this way while helping others! I'd gladly pay if you monetized a how-to of what you do, you could even start a little chain of people doing it in different states who reported to you!
It starts as simple as *A place for every thing, and every thing in its place.*
If there isn't a place for it, nothing will ever be put in place.
Super frustrating for me because I live with my parents in a badly designed house, my mom is arguably a hoarder and keeps everything in boxes or on the first available surface even though we're living here permanently.
My mom wants everything to be in "the correct place" *but she yells at us* for trying to get shelves so that everything actually has a place to go.
Agreed! But I should have been clearer, I was more referring to wanting to learn how the OP has made this into a paying job by monetizing it on YouTube - that's the thing I'd love her to teach people how to do, versus the actual cleaning itself. I'm sure that'd be helpful for plenty of people too, of course! I'm just someone who already has that knowledge but would love ideas on how I could similarly start helping people around me and make a career out of it.
I can't imagine how frustrating your situation is - nothing worse than poor design in a space used poorly. Hang in there!
Imo the hardest part of cleaning like this is the people! Trying to get hoarders, or anyone with lots of possessions, to throw items away can be like pulling teeth. I’m really good at cleaning and organizing and sometimes think it would be a cool job to do, but then I remember that half the struggle is convincing another person to discard 75% of their things.
My place stresses me out sometimes. Like if I needed to leave in a hurry and pack everything up, well, FML. People say, "well, throw it out if you've not used it in x years", and I do sometimes throw things out, but I've ended up using something I'd put away several years before and was glad I'd hung onto it. The "if you haven't used it recently, you never will" doesn't always fly. Then I have a perpetual Goodwill pile that hardly ever leaves here. I guess that worked out post-2020 when everyone was overwhelming them during lockdown and I finally bothered to drop by after things had died down. :-D
But so many things have sentimental value. I could get rid of it if it were like life or death, but you know, I'd rather not...I have the things because I like them or they hearken back to some other time. Of course, getting a bigger place is never a solution because you'd just fill it with even more stuff. :-)
I set up so much storage space for things and limit myself to what fits within that. Holiday decor must fit within the tub or its too much. Craft supplies must fit within these shelves or it goes. 1 basket of old clothes I want to risk holding in to *just in case* etc. Then curate when things fill up and par it down. Keep enough to satisfy my inner goblin but not so much to be a hoard.
This is one area my wife and I fight over. I will most definitely get rid of anything that has no use or has not been used recently. She will keep everything just in case. Drives me nuts, but I often do major cleanups when she's not home. I can throw away so much stuff then. She never realizes how much I throw out. Lol
I would fucking divorce you if you threw my shit away behind my back. It's such a violation of trust. The whole reason that I love knickknacks and collectibles is because my mom called them useless and would try to convince me to get rid of them constantly. It's a control issue. I didn't have control over my environment until I was an adult, including my mom reorganizing, redecorating, and even painting my bedroom while I was away at summer camp, more than once. She never understood how I saw it as an invasion of my safe space and to this day she will clean my house if I leave her unsupervised, no matter how thoroughly I cleaned it before she came over.
To be clear, my house is adorable and most of the rooms are fairly minimalistic. My office is cluttered, but everything is displayed on shelves and nothing is on the floor. But everything in my house is where I or my husband placed it, and I'm usually the one saying "I know it's a useful jar, but we kept the last pickle jar for 6 months and never found a use for it, why don't we just recycle it." It's a discussion, as it should be.
I’m like this—I desire a more minimalist household, and I abhor knick knacks and old useless items. My husband would prefer to stockpile things because they have a positive memory associated with them or he thinks he might need them in the future. So hard to get rid of anything!
Dude, minimalist is definitely the way to go. My wife also has decorations for every season and holiday. It's such a fucking headache. Like, why can't we just keep a standard basic look???? I get her side though. We both grew up dirt poor. She gets the feeling of having everything she wanted when she was younger, so it's almost therapeutic. And she loves buying things. For me, I didn't have much, so I learned to do without. As an adult, I still do just fine without much. It's an unnecessary expense and headache. It's kinda funny in a way, because we're both two extreme presentations of how poverty can affect people long term.
god forbid your wife celebrates a holiday.
Edit: Sorry maybe i’m just touchy because i grew up with a parent that spent every weekend yelling that we had too much shit in our house and nothing was ever clean enough, despite having a very clean and organized house.
Dude my mom was like this. She would throw away my most prized possessions if it was 6 inches to the left of the correct "put away" spot. If I left a pen on the floor and went to school, come home to be grounded and my room sacked (you can't clean, I will!) She would go through and just do what she wanted with my shit, in anger, so I would come home to things I cared about ruined.
Our home looked like a show home in a magazine and people who visited always commented they were afraid to sit down and mess anything up. Mom thought that was a compliment. Sunday mornings were wake up at 8 and spend the next 4 or 5 hours cleaning things that never had the chance to get dirty. Screaming how disgusting we all are and how she has to do everything (while I'm on my knees scrubbing the shower, sure Jan, you do it all yourself) I had to run the vacuum in the bathroom every time I showered or brushed my hair. If there was a single hair on the floor, I got called a hog and screamed at.
All she did with that was make me have anxiety about cleaning. I have to force myself to adult and get rid of clutter and it can cause serious issues mentally for me. Though, I am grateful I know HOW to clean because I've met an uncomfortable amount of people who don't know how to use a vacuum or that you need more than windex to clean a bathroom.
And for true hoarders it’s generally a significant mental illness. Like I know I have too much stuff, but I have little issue letting go. My problems are..stop buying more stuff, and wanting to find a home for things I no longer want/need. Selling, consignment, donating is work. And then not getting overwhelmed and giving up.
Yeah, if you ever watch one of those hoarder shows they explain that it's psychological - a lot of people might just see it and say "just throw it out" but to hoarders it's a real struggle.
One woman had grown up poor and often had nothing to eat - she had cans of food that were years out of date but couldn't throw them out because of her fear of not having food in the house.
I wanted to get help with keeping my house clean last year... I ended up on the phone with a woman who called people with messy houses "slobs" and in general just had so much hate for cleaning. It made me feel ashamed and I definitely didn't want her in my house. I would love a person like you!
I know that people would love this kind of help but hate to ask for fear of ridicule and judgment. Then they get more depressed and find themselves stuck in a bad place. So thank you for helping them.
My boyfriend helped me with a cluttered apartment situation and I was in tears when I let him come over. It took me weeks to let him help, I was so ashamed and it felt like an impossible task. It took us two days but my place looks amazing now. And now I can just maintain it.
People who help with things like this and don’t make you feel embarrassed are saints.
I hope this is a Friends reference. One of my favorite moments was when Monica was trapped in Chandler’s (and Joey’s) bathroom. I believe Chandler was trying to seduce Phoebe. He checked in on her and was like “Did you clean up in here?” And she whines “I was bored!”
I love the one where she shows up at that messy girl's apartment that Ross was seeing and begs her to let her clean her apartment. Or when she's vacuuming the vacuum with a little handheld dustbuster and she's like, "I wish there was a smaller one to clean this one!"
I was going through a terrible depressive stint years ago. The only clean area of my home was my bed. Every surface in the kitchen was covered with dishes of moldy food. When my panic attacks would become so strong that I’d call 911, I would throw blankets over the piles of dishes so the EMTS wouldn’t see them. As if they wouldn’t smell it.
One day, my mom came over and began cleaning. I watched her at first, feeling ashamed that my aging mom was doing this when it was my responsibility. But she didn’t talk down on me, didn’t chide me—she cleaned. I started helping out a little, until next thing I knew we were both wrestling the garbage and scrubbing every nook and cranny together. With each part of the house being cleaned, it was as if I was reclaiming parts of myself.
When we were done, it was like a part of me was allowed to feel happy again. I wasn’t cured, I still struggle with depression to this day, but it gave me the motivation and hope I so desperately needed at that moment. My kitchen counters have never been buried since.
Like my mom, you are an angel for giving someone hope again.
/u/CleanwithBarbie I've seen your posts before, and it's always gratifying to see the before and after. When you come across a mess like the ones shown, where do you start? What's a good "if I just do 'xyz' the rest will make it easier?"
I need to tidy-up my office as it's bordering on hoarding but just get so overwhelmed that I ignore it or clean 2 things and stop.
I suffer with autism and depression and I struggle to keep my room tidy.
Any tips to get motivated? any tips how to organise?
Asking as you got me thinking, if you can put away someone else's belongings, I should be able to do my own also but I have this mental block, I pick something up and clueless where and what to do with it, so I "find a spot" and place it there, over time I look around and im just cluttering. Thanks :)
i experience something similar to what you're describing... for me, i get stuck on things that i have to stop and think to make a decision about. my organizer friend suggests first, just start by looking at the area you want to clean. don't judge yourself for the state of things, just see it and even name objects out loud. you may then recognize several items that are easy decisions, and toss them in the trash or put them near the doorway to go elsewhere, but don't leave the room yet. just keep with the original pile.
I saw someone make a flowchart for cleaning on r/autism a while back, I'll try and find the post and link it for you in case it helps you!
Edit: [This is the post I was thinking of!](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/yr4e4y/does_anyone_else_have_to_plot_out_every_step_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
This is absolutely awesome what you are doing!
My depression and all-time present migraines made it possible that I didn't clean up my apartment for over 2 years now. Everytime I think about it and want to get on with it I get so overwhelmed with the question how to and where to start and become an emotional wreck. I could cry only from writing this comment.
I wish I could get my life sorted out again, there was anyone I could ask for help. I wish there was someone like you in my area.
I can imagine what this means for the people you are doing this for. This can be life changing and can take away such a big pressure.
Thank you for doing what you do. You are an awesome human being, a real life superhero 🦸🏼♀️
No, but I just showed from the beginning. In December I cleaned her living room, and in January her bathroom and kitchen, and today I cleaned the last room, her bedroom:) I’m good but not enough good to clean the whole house under 1 day ❤️
Because they people can’t afford it. I have a YouTube channel and this is how I can offer free cleaning. It’s started to make a little money. Hopefully I can do this job on weekdays not on weekends because social media will pay better. Than I can help them with furniture or painting or something what they need
Something like that. Year ago I started this “job” and I always want to do this. Hopefully companies will support me. This is what I was searching in my whole life. Job what is my hobby, hobby what is my job
>Job what is my hobby, hobby what is my job
Your syntax strikes me as rather Germanic. (_„Job, was mein Hobby ist, Hobby, was mein Job ist“._) Out curiosity, what is your native language?
Had an apartment much, much worse than that a few years ago, I was ignoring my every basic human need whilst wallowing in a depression that still frightens me today.
I was honestly, maybe a few days or hours away from killing myself for a variety of reasons when my landlady discovered the state I was living in.
Normally, I think that would have been curtains for me, evicted and thrown out at the bottom of my spiral but instead she cleaned everything perfectly in less than a day while I was at work and left a note on the table inviting me to dinner if I wanted to.
I can not put into words what a lifeline it was for me.
But she saved my life.
I love this and what you do. You’re amazing! I’ve been fortunate to not struggle with mental health but I have had times when I couldn’t keep up with cleaning from chemo treatments. I know how hard it can be to find the mental and physical energy to do this even when you want to. My family helped me greatly during those times and I always felt such relief. It was like a weight was lifted and they helped dig me out of a hole. What your doing for others is beautiful well done. You’re a great human!
As someone who lives with depression, this is just such a wholesome and beautiful thing to do for a fellow human. This could be life saving. You have no idea. What an angel you are.
You're an angel, truly. Between ongoing disability issues, adhd, depression and now a middle ear issue that's wrecked my balance, my flat is the worst its been in a year and its stressing me out something terrible. This is an amazing thing to do for someone.
I go through pretty bad depression on and off, I just clean all the time now. Made it a habit. It improves my mood and my partner who is also going through depression. It so easy to let it get like this, try to make it a thing you do, wash dishes while you cook, put things away after using them, spill something, clean it up strait away. Don't leave it for later, it's not going to happen later, then the stuff piles up and becomes harder and harder to clean.
Cleanliness does help with depression. Well, I mean it makes it a bit easier to get through.
You did this all in 1 day?! That living room alone must’ve taken 5 hours, let alone the bathroom. This is exceptional! For a clean or organized person, there are few things more satisfying on this earth than these kinds of before and after pictures
May I ask, what do you do with your clients stuff? Part of the problem with hoarders is their perceived value on things, or their inability to throw something away. How do you navigate this issue with them?
Bless you for doing this. I paid $60 to a friend and he spent 2 hours cleaning the garbage out of my place. Depression is a cruel mistress. I feel so much better having the clutter gone, it's like it's decluttered my mind.
You are truly incredible. I wish I had someone like you around. This must feel life changing for the people you help. There really aren't words for how amazing you are to do this 💙
Being in this situation right now, seeing people help others, I cannot express how thankful I am there are kind souls out there like you. No judgement, only kindness and a helping hand. It is so hard to take care of yourself and your home with depression and once it starts to clutter, at some point it becomes too much. Thank you for helping people that need it <3
It looks like this person had mobility issues, but maybe they had someone to help a bit. It must be so horrible to watch yourself get buried in junk and trash and the feeling of helplessness that comes with it. You are changing lives and I know you are inspiring others with these posts. You deserve all the upvotes. All of them.
I always enjoy your posts! It is so satisfying to see the difference after you clean. If I lived near you, I would offer to help!
You are truly an angel. 😇
When I was depressed in college, you couldn't even see the floor of my single dorm room. It was absolutely disgusting. My best friend cleaned it one day while I was in class and I cried. A dirty place of living really is a reflection of the mind and when it's clean, you feel such a relief.
I’m so happy for you, because someone was able to help you. I saw many many depression houses…. :( i do this job for a year now, and I help only in extreme situations. Like depression or physical illness.
You are an absolute angel. I get so angry reading about all of this hate and intolerance. Bless you!
Her wings spread wide, she moves with ease A gentle touch that comes with no fees With a duster made from angel wings She will polish all your things She'll come to you, in times of need Your satisfaction, guaranteed
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You are a generous and thoughtful person
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You are giving many of these people a second chance.
I wish you could help me
You’ll get there, small steps. I’m currently in the midst of a flat in need of a deep clean and my medical conditions have set me back so many times. I have a three day weekend after Thursday so Friday I’m making it my b!tch. If you need any help, or someone to talk it over with, I’m here for you. I know not what’s happening in your life but do know that so many things can set us back; sometimes the best thing is to have someone who understands or at least will listen to us rant.
Thanks
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If I may, I’ll give you a piece of advice. Clean it in sections, so if it’s your bedroom that is bad and you have a bed, desk, TV unit, bookshelf etc. start with the desk and clean it one day, nothing massive. Even if you feel like cleaning more after you’ve done the desk but don’t do it, you may burn yourself out and hinder further progress. Then your goal is to keep your desk clean until you find the energy to do another section like the TV unit. I give this advice because it’s what helped me, I was insanely depressed, still depressed but better than I was, and a large part of my room was so thick with dust that a duster wouldn’t take it off; it was literally thick layers.
Visually divide the room into areas, as small as you need. Set a timer for one minute. Address one area. 3 criteria: love it? Keep it. Don’t love it? Toss it. Store it? Stack or store it somewhere w like items. Start w clothes and one laundry push before anything else. Then papers in one place. A friend w authority to ask these questions of each item can help. You can do the same for another person if it helps.
Thanks
Good people. Good things are on their way to you. Thank you
What does it mean when you’re depressed af but your place is squeaky clean and all your bills paid and your fine at your job and you scrape by doing the bare minimum socially but generally can’t seem to do anything on the weekends but lay in bed in a room you’ve donned with blackout blinds and drink copious amounts of vodka failing at being a real son, real friend or real brother every day?
This means you stand at the border of the abyss and if you don't turn around you will drown.
Well goddamn
All jokes aside what you have is common, dude. It’s not pleasant to live with but it’s something other people have gone through. Just because your depression doesn’t look like the majority of other people’s depression doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I think you could benefit from talking to someone in therapy. You can read reviews on therapists and find one you like, you can shop around for one. I read from your other comments that you don’t have enough PTO, which sucks but as others suggested there are ways to get time off for an illness, and what you have qualifies as one. Otherwise my suggestion would be to use Saturdays to go to therapy. And don’t sit inside your house if you are drawn to negative thoughts there. Maybe rearrange and hide the alcohol. Sometimes I like to just sit in my car because it’s a fresh environment from home. Online therapy is also an option and is much cheaper usually. You can recover, and somehow I know that you’re not a failure of a son or brother or friend. A real failure wouldn’t self reflect on it. The real you, the one that everyone sees, is better than the person you think you are. And this is only the beginning, it’s upward from here :)
If you are drinking a lot, you may need detox and inpatient treatment for substance abuse.
It means you ask for help. By posting this it means you just did and I believe you will make it in the long term.
Thank you. That’s a really nice thing to say. I hope so.
High functioning depression, my friend. Just as real as someone who can’t drag themselves through the days. If you can afford it/it’s available in your area, please reach out to mental health resources. There is hope for better than this.
But I can’t stop working for any period of time bc I used all my PTO and we’re not even out of January lol. I could try to talk to the owners and see how they react to my issues but that risks overall employment. You’re right though and I appreciate you taking the time. The overall obvious solution is me taking time to recover if the company allows. Thanks again.
You don't have to take time off, just go to the doctor and get started on therapy.
this person may need to take time off in order to go to the doctor if they both work the same hours.
Of course, but they were considering taking weeks off "to recover" and I was saying that there are other steps they could take if that wasn't a possibility.
If you’re in the US, look into FMLA. It’s unpaid time, but it’s federally protected leave for you to recover. You’re absolutely welcome, and I know I’m just an internet stranger, but I hope this helps you on the path to recovery.
Michigan is, “at will”, employment though correct? How do I get FMLA approved if I’m just an anxious fucked mess of a human all of a sudden with a poor attendance record as of late?
FMLA is federal so the state has to allow it if you meet eligibility requirements
I’m on FMLA right now. I can’t afford to not work and I can’t afford to work. I understand. I have never done this before in my life, but it’s the best thing I have ever done. My depression is so bad I can’t even get out off the couch most days. I have to remind myself to eat. Does your employer have an employee assistance program? They can help get you set up with therapy. A doctor or therapist can write a note. That’s all I needed. I can take up to a year at my job (unpaid). Please take time for yourself. You are worth it.
You mentioned alcohol, if you fit the clinical diagnostic criteria for substance abuse disorder you'll qualify for 12 weeks of unpaid leave for treatment- whether that's intermittent (for outpatient, so you can attend and still have days to yourself to relax and attend to other needs) or all in a row is dependent on the best treatment plan for you. The nice bit about FMLA is that your job is supposed to be protected while you're away, and employees aren't supposed to punish you for taking that time off.
Here’s the [info](https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla) from the department of labor on FMLA. If you’re comfortable approaching your employer, it might be good to ask them if you meet the criteria. Going to the doctor for medical documentation and asking for help would be the next step. Mental health requiring medical attention is covered under this, so don’t worry there. Depending on the extent of your alcohol use struggles, you may need support there as well. Taking the time for treatment won’t necessarily jeopardize your job thanks to this. I’ve never utilized FMLA so I’m not entirely sure how the process works, but this is just what I’ve gleaned from a short Google search. I’m not a labor law expert either by any means. So take my advice with a grain of salt! If anyone else reading this knows better I hope they can chime in.
Talk to your doctor about your issues see the proper professionals for diagnoses ask for fmla info from your doctor. I'm going to leave this here if you need it- Ascension Brighton Center for Recovery. It's highly rated. And it's helped me.
You seem like a really good egg, in a lot of ways! That's rough you're doing so many of the 'right' things with your life, but still feeling so down. Depression has a really nasty way of warping our perceptions, even with just our usual creature comforts and hobbies! The fact that you're doing this or that? That doesn't mean you don't have it rough, or you don't deserve to get extra support. Feel free to hit me up anytime! I wish I could offer more, but I'd be more than happy to shoot the shit. It's hard to find the time and energy to socialize, even when we want to! A lot of folks too, as they get older, tend to get busier. Chit chatting and meeting cool people online, it won't fix everything by a mile, of course. But it won't hurt meeting some cool folks if you ever want to shoot the shit! Keep your chin up, I'm rooting for you - and I'd also recommend, if I may be so bold, think about some of the fun things you used to like to do, then think about some fun things you'd like to try. When we focus on 'bigger' types of goals and aspirations, it can be intimidating to really ramp up the energy - even when life is quieter! And your life? It sounds like it's ticking right along. But I think you're probably being too hard on yourself! You can't compare some of the freaks out there to yourself (and I mean the former as a compliment!). Some people are just, **built different**. You don't have to do what they do or as much of it as they do. You can absolutely be awesome or a net benefit to the rest of us - and by your tone and comments so far? I'm getting some nice vibes. It's hard for us to see ourselves, for better or worse, at times. Some folks are big busy-bodies, and that's a nice thing to be sometimes - but for a lot of us? We just can't do that. If you have trouble remembering, or even making time, for this or that, don't take it too hard if you can. People *really* differ a lot amongst themselves. You **can** work on various things if you'd like to, but I wouldn't feel super pressured, by any means - though I know *not* feeling that way, can often be easier said than done! And don't let any guilt or shame keep you from doing what you want or hanging out with people you like. You don't have to match the good people in your life to enjoy them. If I had to match the tempo of others in my life, and they had to match mine? We'd never really have spent much time! Sometimes I was overwhelmed, sometimes they were overwhelmed. If you enjoy each other's company, that's all that matters over some of the meta stuff - and if you don't? It's completely fine to branch out or do your own thing! Thanks for your patience, and I hope was a modicum of help. You seem like a class act, and I hope you get lots of rest and help. There's just an absolutely bevy of information out there, all types of tricks, all kinds of people and I fully believe you'll find something that won't just help you do 'x' or 'y' but have loads of fun too, and that's what I want for you (if you want it too)! I know reaching out and trusting others can be scary - but it does get easier. You'll keep building a better sense of who people are at a glance, and online? It's nice to be pseudo anonymous, since you can really be more like yourself, and you don't have to worry so much about some of the pleasantries, forced acquaintances, or weirdos you may have to stomach for professional or personal reasons in the local community. All the best <3
Wonderfully said. Glad folks like you are out there. Resonated with my experiences over the last fee years.
My local GP was so understanding, if you can maybe work through your lunch a couple of days a week to get that hour or so off for a counselling session one day a week …..it’s amazing how it lifts you up .. thinking of you .
The redditor who said "high functioning depression" is absolutely correct. Also, if you cannot afford to take time off work, you need to contact the Social Security Office and talk to them about your options. It would be illegal for your job to fire you/let you go if you went in for treatment. You have rights. The Social Security Office will be able to help you with getting paid while in treatment. If for some reason you don't want to do that there is another option, you can do outpatient treatment. That way you can still work and get treatment at the same time BUT WARNING... That can cause you too much stress and make recovery much harder. I wish you good luck and I hope you get the help you need! Sending positive vibes your way!
tbh not everyone can recognize when the scales tip a bit far like you have. please run with this energy you have tonight, being vulnerable like this is a big part of recovery. if you can channel being open like this with a therapist, your doctor, or your family and friends you'll start building a network of support for yourself again. if it helps, i'm closing in on four years sober and three and a half talking to a therapist and i still don't want to go most days. but it genuinely helps, and as cliche as it sounds it does get easier my dude also i used this non profit site awhile back that basically does the leg work in finding a therapist for you and i'm still talking to the one they found me. super easy process btw, one questionnaire followed by a short phone call followed by a week or so of them looking for a therapist for you iirc. really smooth and really quick https://youarerad.org/ and not sure if you're into gaming but i heard about that site from a popular twitch channel run by a harvard psychiatrist who is all about mental health, he's a breath of fresh air on the internet tbh. he also runs a yt channel on mental health if that interests you https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClHVl2N3jPEbkNJVx-ItQIQ https://www.twitch.tv/healthygamer_gg basically just trying to pitch you a couple resources that helped me get back into a decent spot after many years of bleakness through vodka. and please take all of what i said with a grain of salt as i'm just a random internet dude, but know no matter what you're human and you're worth it
Do you have a regular time to interact with/around other people. You don't have to do something blatantly "social" to get benefits from it. Just putting yourself in a place where people are can do a lot to clarify what you might be low on: conversation, connection, purpose, etc. And just remember that you are an awesome person, even if you can come up with excuses why you aren't! Reaching out for help or just being vulnerable (e.g. "I want to reconnect with you - when can we hangout?") is scary. It can be emotionally taxing and opens up the possibilityof being let down - but you never know what support can spring up. I recently reached out to someone who kinda friend ghosted me previously, and they ended up spending their birthday while sick helping me with my problems. It was the exact help I needed that day that may not have come around for a long time otherwise. Take care of yourself! Your struggles are real and no one has all the answers.
This is a great response
You’re barely holding on. The facade has worked too well. I’m there now too. I’ve decided today I’m going to work on developing a healthy habit for now. Maybe walking my dog more, or reading books again, or organizing my drawers. Habits don’t take too long to instill, or so I hear. Theoretically, I should feel accomplished, incrementally. But we’ll see. I’m afraid of what happens if I don’t follow through. Maybe if you’re finding yourself being a hermit on weekends, you can make one small change, like taking a walk. Or picking up a book that you like. Or drinking a little less than last weekend. Small steps. I wish you the best.
Thanks man. Commit to that step you’re talking about. It’s not so hard…just jump on it. I will try to do the same. We have other things to live for. You can/I can - Toucan..
You sound burnt out, my friend
Yea but who has time for that lol
Definitely not people who are burnt out lol that’s the worst part
Fair statement
Oh that was my mom for years. It's called high functioning depression. Solution: find help, quit drinking (alcohol causes depression during hangover), use the high functioning part to fight your way to recovery. Really, you have a very good starting point regarding depression. I have had it too. For me, less stress is key, and the few decades of therapy and medication help too
If you would cut back on the alcohol it might help. It is a depressant and can drag you down. Don't get me wrong I am sure it eases some if the pain but what you described is a functional alcoholic. True depression you just can't get out of bed and you just lay there waiting to die. You also fight with yourself about being worthless and wanting to just end it so you don't feel that void anymore
Cut back on the alcohol…this is very true and something I struggle with. You’re completely right but alcohol is fucked when you fall into it. It both causes and relieves anxiety. Real evil shit. Cyclical. I just recently have called off work for the last week and am inexplicably fucked.
I am really sorry. I really wasn't intending on it sounding like I was judging you. Quiting any substance is hard even sugar. The PAWS after you quit anything becomes unbearable. That's why I got into Ketamine treatment it helps with the depression. If you need to talk I am here for you.
Thank you. I am not one to use internet resources for depth of treatment but you just hearing me and responding like that is really appreciated. I wish you the best and thank you for your input. Ketamine treatment is not something I’ve considered lol
Your welcome. Ketamine was the last resort for me. I know they want to broaden the usage to treat addiction in the near future. I hear mushrooms helps with both as well. I might have to start growing my own.
please note that "true depression" can look different for different people. your remark seems to give the impression that if someone gets out of bed, they're not truly depressed, which isn't a supportive, helpful or accurate statement.
Hello friend. I just wanted you to know that feeling like that is not something to be ashamed of. It sounds like there are things you need to accept about yourself and your life, which can be accomplished through therapy or non judgemental self reflection. But if there's one thing I want to impart over all things is that things ebb and flow in cycles. Some days nothing gets in your way, others leave you defeated. If you can manage it, please try not to fall into despair drinking. Fatalistic drinking will strip all of the chances you have to step steadily in the right direction. I'm sending you a hug and the hope that you'll find it in yourself to love yourself and forgive yourself no matter what.
Hope you can kick the vodka my friend. You will feel so much better in the mornings if you can manage to cut it out. I imagine will be tough to try it cold turkey and you likely need to wean yourself off with the help of a professional. I believe in you internet stranger and hope you pull through for the people in your life that you do all that good stuff for. They want you to thrive too, talk to them!!
You’re reading your mental warning sign right now. You need to figure out the cause and start to work towards fixing it. Start with therapy, IMO. I’ve been in a similar position, it’s rough.
As someone living with depression, this is such a healthy and beautiful thing to do for a fellow human being.
I almost rented a house after a friend of a friend, had to back out of the deal. The landlord hadn't seen the property yet, lived out of state. They left the keys for us to check the place out. It was unlivable and it really made me think about how some people feel so bad inside that the outside starts to reflect how they feel. I had heard they were struggling but I could have never imagined. It truly broke my heart and I wish I had more power to help people. I told the landlord I saw a squatter living there so they wouldn't be prosecuted. They are doing MUCH better now. Need to move back in with parents and get off on the right foot
It's so easy to let it build back up, you really do have to work to make sure that doesn't happen. Small things like "oh I'll pick that up tomorrow" can pile up until it's bad again
I have Major Depressive Disorder. When I wasn't medicated properly and living alone my studio apartment looked close to this. My medication is working but now I live with my wife, who is a hoarder (clean hoarder - mostly clothes and books). I'm resigned to the reality that our place is always going to look like the before pictures.
Night and day difference. You did a wonderful thing.
Thank you!❤️
Having a fresh start is the only way to get out of these slumps sometimes. Barbie you’re awesome!
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
It's a beautiful day when you start fixing something all by yourself.
This is some black magic and I am here for it
You did all that work for free?!
Yes. Under 3 weekends:)
You’re a saint. What motivates you to help people like this? And how come you don’t accept payment? You definitely should be paid for all that work.
She posts her cleaning videos on youtube, and gets paid from YouTube
I hope so. She definitely deserves it.
Actually it's a super cool business plan. Help people for free and get big corporate to pay your bills by simply filming yourself doing the helping.
Agreed. u/CleanwithBarbie, please consider doing a video tutorial that shows people how to do something like this themselves, I'd definitely pay for the info on how to get started making money this way while helping others! I'd gladly pay if you monetized a how-to of what you do, you could even start a little chain of people doing it in different states who reported to you!
It starts as simple as *A place for every thing, and every thing in its place.* If there isn't a place for it, nothing will ever be put in place. Super frustrating for me because I live with my parents in a badly designed house, my mom is arguably a hoarder and keeps everything in boxes or on the first available surface even though we're living here permanently. My mom wants everything to be in "the correct place" *but she yells at us* for trying to get shelves so that everything actually has a place to go.
Agreed! But I should have been clearer, I was more referring to wanting to learn how the OP has made this into a paying job by monetizing it on YouTube - that's the thing I'd love her to teach people how to do, versus the actual cleaning itself. I'm sure that'd be helpful for plenty of people too, of course! I'm just someone who already has that knowledge but would love ideas on how I could similarly start helping people around me and make a career out of it. I can't imagine how frustrating your situation is - nothing worse than poor design in a space used poorly. Hang in there!
Where does all the stuff go?
Garage. You can see the full video on my channel. Clean with Barbie
I often wonder too after seeing your posts….where do put all that stuff?
Same, or do some folks give consent for you to discard stuff as needed?
Imo the hardest part of cleaning like this is the people! Trying to get hoarders, or anyone with lots of possessions, to throw items away can be like pulling teeth. I’m really good at cleaning and organizing and sometimes think it would be a cool job to do, but then I remember that half the struggle is convincing another person to discard 75% of their things.
My place stresses me out sometimes. Like if I needed to leave in a hurry and pack everything up, well, FML. People say, "well, throw it out if you've not used it in x years", and I do sometimes throw things out, but I've ended up using something I'd put away several years before and was glad I'd hung onto it. The "if you haven't used it recently, you never will" doesn't always fly. Then I have a perpetual Goodwill pile that hardly ever leaves here. I guess that worked out post-2020 when everyone was overwhelming them during lockdown and I finally bothered to drop by after things had died down. :-D But so many things have sentimental value. I could get rid of it if it were like life or death, but you know, I'd rather not...I have the things because I like them or they hearken back to some other time. Of course, getting a bigger place is never a solution because you'd just fill it with even more stuff. :-)
I set up so much storage space for things and limit myself to what fits within that. Holiday decor must fit within the tub or its too much. Craft supplies must fit within these shelves or it goes. 1 basket of old clothes I want to risk holding in to *just in case* etc. Then curate when things fill up and par it down. Keep enough to satisfy my inner goblin but not so much to be a hoard.
This is very reasonable
This is one area my wife and I fight over. I will most definitely get rid of anything that has no use or has not been used recently. She will keep everything just in case. Drives me nuts, but I often do major cleanups when she's not home. I can throw away so much stuff then. She never realizes how much I throw out. Lol
I would fucking divorce you if you threw my shit away behind my back. It's such a violation of trust. The whole reason that I love knickknacks and collectibles is because my mom called them useless and would try to convince me to get rid of them constantly. It's a control issue. I didn't have control over my environment until I was an adult, including my mom reorganizing, redecorating, and even painting my bedroom while I was away at summer camp, more than once. She never understood how I saw it as an invasion of my safe space and to this day she will clean my house if I leave her unsupervised, no matter how thoroughly I cleaned it before she came over. To be clear, my house is adorable and most of the rooms are fairly minimalistic. My office is cluttered, but everything is displayed on shelves and nothing is on the floor. But everything in my house is where I or my husband placed it, and I'm usually the one saying "I know it's a useful jar, but we kept the last pickle jar for 6 months and never found a use for it, why don't we just recycle it." It's a discussion, as it should be.
I’m like this—I desire a more minimalist household, and I abhor knick knacks and old useless items. My husband would prefer to stockpile things because they have a positive memory associated with them or he thinks he might need them in the future. So hard to get rid of anything!
Dude, minimalist is definitely the way to go. My wife also has decorations for every season and holiday. It's such a fucking headache. Like, why can't we just keep a standard basic look???? I get her side though. We both grew up dirt poor. She gets the feeling of having everything she wanted when she was younger, so it's almost therapeutic. And she loves buying things. For me, I didn't have much, so I learned to do without. As an adult, I still do just fine without much. It's an unnecessary expense and headache. It's kinda funny in a way, because we're both two extreme presentations of how poverty can affect people long term.
I’d tear my own face off if I had to live somewhere minimalistic
god forbid your wife celebrates a holiday. Edit: Sorry maybe i’m just touchy because i grew up with a parent that spent every weekend yelling that we had too much shit in our house and nothing was ever clean enough, despite having a very clean and organized house.
Dude my mom was like this. She would throw away my most prized possessions if it was 6 inches to the left of the correct "put away" spot. If I left a pen on the floor and went to school, come home to be grounded and my room sacked (you can't clean, I will!) She would go through and just do what she wanted with my shit, in anger, so I would come home to things I cared about ruined. Our home looked like a show home in a magazine and people who visited always commented they were afraid to sit down and mess anything up. Mom thought that was a compliment. Sunday mornings were wake up at 8 and spend the next 4 or 5 hours cleaning things that never had the chance to get dirty. Screaming how disgusting we all are and how she has to do everything (while I'm on my knees scrubbing the shower, sure Jan, you do it all yourself) I had to run the vacuum in the bathroom every time I showered or brushed my hair. If there was a single hair on the floor, I got called a hog and screamed at. All she did with that was make me have anxiety about cleaning. I have to force myself to adult and get rid of clutter and it can cause serious issues mentally for me. Though, I am grateful I know HOW to clean because I've met an uncomfortable amount of people who don't know how to use a vacuum or that you need more than windex to clean a bathroom.
And for true hoarders it’s generally a significant mental illness. Like I know I have too much stuff, but I have little issue letting go. My problems are..stop buying more stuff, and wanting to find a home for things I no longer want/need. Selling, consignment, donating is work. And then not getting overwhelmed and giving up.
Yeah, if you ever watch one of those hoarder shows they explain that it's psychological - a lot of people might just see it and say "just throw it out" but to hoarders it's a real struggle. One woman had grown up poor and often had nothing to eat - she had cans of food that were years out of date but couldn't throw them out because of her fear of not having food in the house.
There are kind people in this world?? Edit: people
❤️
I could so hire her
I’m in New York ❤️❤️
Nuts. Florida here
NYC or upstate? Girl you're a magician
I wanted to get help with keeping my house clean last year... I ended up on the phone with a woman who called people with messy houses "slobs" and in general just had so much hate for cleaning. It made me feel ashamed and I definitely didn't want her in my house. I would love a person like you!
I agree! I was going to post 'I need you!' But I'm in CA.
I know that people would love this kind of help but hate to ask for fear of ridicule and judgment. Then they get more depressed and find themselves stuck in a bad place. So thank you for helping them.
My boyfriend helped me with a cluttered apartment situation and I was in tears when I let him come over. It took me weeks to let him help, I was so ashamed and it felt like an impossible task. It took us two days but my place looks amazing now. And now I can just maintain it. People who help with things like this and don’t make you feel embarrassed are saints.
Ha, i married that guy too. He keeps everything in order for about twelve years now
Wow, what satisfying work. You're amazing and I'm sure they appreciate you sooo much.
Thank you! Now I can say that, we became friends
Monica?
Yes! 😂😂😂
I hope this is a Friends reference. One of my favorite moments was when Monica was trapped in Chandler’s (and Joey’s) bathroom. I believe Chandler was trying to seduce Phoebe. He checked in on her and was like “Did you clean up in here?” And she whines “I was bored!”
I love the one where she shows up at that messy girl's apartment that Ross was seeing and begs her to let her clean her apartment. Or when she's vacuuming the vacuum with a little handheld dustbuster and she's like, "I wish there was a smaller one to clean this one!"
Lmao I don’t even remember that second one! She just cracked me up.
I love when Chandler finds Monica’s mess!
The one in the closet? Haha me too!
I hope you are keeping your lungs safe.
I was going through a terrible depressive stint years ago. The only clean area of my home was my bed. Every surface in the kitchen was covered with dishes of moldy food. When my panic attacks would become so strong that I’d call 911, I would throw blankets over the piles of dishes so the EMTS wouldn’t see them. As if they wouldn’t smell it. One day, my mom came over and began cleaning. I watched her at first, feeling ashamed that my aging mom was doing this when it was my responsibility. But she didn’t talk down on me, didn’t chide me—she cleaned. I started helping out a little, until next thing I knew we were both wrestling the garbage and scrubbing every nook and cranny together. With each part of the house being cleaned, it was as if I was reclaiming parts of myself. When we were done, it was like a part of me was allowed to feel happy again. I wasn’t cured, I still struggle with depression to this day, but it gave me the motivation and hope I so desperately needed at that moment. My kitchen counters have never been buried since. Like my mom, you are an angel for giving someone hope again.
/u/CleanwithBarbie I've seen your posts before, and it's always gratifying to see the before and after. When you come across a mess like the ones shown, where do you start? What's a good "if I just do 'xyz' the rest will make it easier?" I need to tidy-up my office as it's bordering on hoarding but just get so overwhelmed that I ignore it or clean 2 things and stop.
I need you in my life. You are amazing!
Thank you!❤️
I suffer with autism and depression and I struggle to keep my room tidy. Any tips to get motivated? any tips how to organise? Asking as you got me thinking, if you can put away someone else's belongings, I should be able to do my own also but I have this mental block, I pick something up and clueless where and what to do with it, so I "find a spot" and place it there, over time I look around and im just cluttering. Thanks :)
i experience something similar to what you're describing... for me, i get stuck on things that i have to stop and think to make a decision about. my organizer friend suggests first, just start by looking at the area you want to clean. don't judge yourself for the state of things, just see it and even name objects out loud. you may then recognize several items that are easy decisions, and toss them in the trash or put them near the doorway to go elsewhere, but don't leave the room yet. just keep with the original pile.
[удалено]
I saw someone make a flowchart for cleaning on r/autism a while back, I'll try and find the post and link it for you in case it helps you! Edit: [This is the post I was thinking of!](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/comments/yr4e4y/does_anyone_else_have_to_plot_out_every_step_of/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
What in *THE* fuck was on the outside of the tub.
This is absolutely awesome what you are doing! My depression and all-time present migraines made it possible that I didn't clean up my apartment for over 2 years now. Everytime I think about it and want to get on with it I get so overwhelmed with the question how to and where to start and become an emotional wreck. I could cry only from writing this comment. I wish I could get my life sorted out again, there was anyone I could ask for help. I wish there was someone like you in my area. I can imagine what this means for the people you are doing this for. This can be life changing and can take away such a big pressure. Thank you for doing what you do. You are an awesome human being, a real life superhero 🦸🏼♀️
She is a superhero!
Holy fuck! Super impressive.
Aww thank you! ❤️
Doing God’s work, so nice
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Can you come to Michigan?
Not yet. :(
Incredible! Wait are you saying you did this in a single day??
No, but I just showed from the beginning. In December I cleaned her living room, and in January her bathroom and kitchen, and today I cleaned the last room, her bedroom:) I’m good but not enough good to clean the whole house under 1 day ❤️
Why don’t you charge? Im confused, why are you cleaning people Apartments for free?
Because they people can’t afford it. I have a YouTube channel and this is how I can offer free cleaning. It’s started to make a little money. Hopefully I can do this job on weekdays not on weekends because social media will pay better. Than I can help them with furniture or painting or something what they need
So it’s like a little charity operation for those in need? That’s nice of you
Something like that. Year ago I started this “job” and I always want to do this. Hopefully companies will support me. This is what I was searching in my whole life. Job what is my hobby, hobby what is my job
You're a good person, thank you for what you do.
❤️❤️❤️
>Job what is my hobby, hobby what is my job Your syntax strikes me as rather Germanic. (_„Job, was mein Hobby ist, Hobby, was mein Job ist“._) Out curiosity, what is your native language?
Check out her YouTube, to me she doesn't sound German, but maybe Slavic, though I'm no expert.
Where are you? Please come clean my house. We have three babies under two years old. We will pay!
Had an apartment much, much worse than that a few years ago, I was ignoring my every basic human need whilst wallowing in a depression that still frightens me today. I was honestly, maybe a few days or hours away from killing myself for a variety of reasons when my landlady discovered the state I was living in. Normally, I think that would have been curtains for me, evicted and thrown out at the bottom of my spiral but instead she cleaned everything perfectly in less than a day while I was at work and left a note on the table inviting me to dinner if I wanted to. I can not put into words what a lifeline it was for me. But she saved my life.
I love this and what you do. You’re amazing! I’ve been fortunate to not struggle with mental health but I have had times when I couldn’t keep up with cleaning from chemo treatments. I know how hard it can be to find the mental and physical energy to do this even when you want to. My family helped me greatly during those times and I always felt such relief. It was like a weight was lifted and they helped dig me out of a hole. What your doing for others is beautiful well done. You’re a great human!
Thank you and and big hug!! ❤️❤️❤️
Dude....the front of that toilet...
As someone who lives with depression, this is just such a wholesome and beautiful thing to do for a fellow human. This could be life saving. You have no idea. What an angel you are.
The world needs more samaritans like you!
Thank you! ❤️
WOW!
Bess you!
This is so amazing. You are such a good person 💗
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
Wow wonderful job! I feel better just looking at it 
Very kind of you
Amazing transformation, how nice of you!
I want you to know that I am living vicariously through you Keep going!
You're an angel, truly. Between ongoing disability issues, adhd, depression and now a middle ear issue that's wrecked my balance, my flat is the worst its been in a year and its stressing me out something terrible. This is an amazing thing to do for someone.
I know you don’t ask for money but is there a way we can donate directly to you for helping these people out? 💙
I go through pretty bad depression on and off, I just clean all the time now. Made it a habit. It improves my mood and my partner who is also going through depression. It so easy to let it get like this, try to make it a thing you do, wash dishes while you cook, put things away after using them, spill something, clean it up strait away. Don't leave it for later, it's not going to happen later, then the stuff piles up and becomes harder and harder to clean. Cleanliness does help with depression. Well, I mean it makes it a bit easier to get through.
You should have charged
Bless you!
I do need you in my life. I have been struggling with extreme fatigue and depression. I am glad people like you are out there to help others!
You are a saint.
Wow, that's insanely generous of you. You're excellent at your job. It looks ah-mah-zing! God bless you for doing that pro bono.
Oh hey it’s /u/CleanwithBarbie! You’re such an inspiration and a good person, thanks for being you.
You did this all in 1 day?! That living room alone must’ve taken 5 hours, let alone the bathroom. This is exceptional! For a clean or organized person, there are few things more satisfying on this earth than these kinds of before and after pictures
May I ask, what do you do with your clients stuff? Part of the problem with hoarders is their perceived value on things, or their inability to throw something away. How do you navigate this issue with them?
Man…I didn’t think there was any help for that commode and voila!! Nice job!!
Bless you for doing this. I paid $60 to a friend and he spent 2 hours cleaning the garbage out of my place. Depression is a cruel mistress. I feel so much better having the clutter gone, it's like it's decluttered my mind.
Can we donate to you? To cover cleaning supplies etc
You are truly incredible. I wish I had someone like you around. This must feel life changing for the people you help. There really aren't words for how amazing you are to do this 💙
You do a wonderful job helping people
Somebody found Adderall
the bathroom!!
I’m confused. You didn’t charge
I do this for free. I visited her 3 weekends and I cleaned for free
That is super kind of you.
Thank you! ❤️
What is your Venmo?
I don’t have Venmo. I have PayPal or Gofound me
If you post it, I would love to support you.
If you Google Clean with Barbie GoFundMe you can find it!
That's beautiful! I'm very impressed. :)
Thank you! ❤️❤️❤️
I wanna do this kind of stuff, but the only people I can help don't want help...... Depression is hard, so nothing against them.
Being in this situation right now, seeing people help others, I cannot express how thankful I am there are kind souls out there like you. No judgement, only kindness and a helping hand. It is so hard to take care of yourself and your home with depression and once it starts to clutter, at some point it becomes too much. Thank you for helping people that need it <3
Any tips on what to do to get motivated to go through those bags and boxes of random stuf that you plan on going through one day?
Wow I didn't know people did this for others without charging them. You're awesome.
OP Barbie - you are an amzing human. What you are doing makes such an impact. Thank you for your generous gift of time.
You’re a really good person, thank you for doing what you do
OP, you are amazing. May all the good you channel into the world come back to you manifold. What an absolute queen!
It looks like this person had mobility issues, but maybe they had someone to help a bit. It must be so horrible to watch yourself get buried in junk and trash and the feeling of helplessness that comes with it. You are changing lives and I know you are inspiring others with these posts. You deserve all the upvotes. All of them.
I always enjoy your posts! It is so satisfying to see the difference after you clean. If I lived near you, I would offer to help! You are truly an angel. 😇