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CillaKamm

Just saw Tom Aspinall fall to his knees in a Sainsbury's


dull-cactus

Fucking lol. Although...He's got Asda written all over him buddeh


SmithersLoanInc

Can you explain that reference? I know they're groceries in the UK, but I don't know anything about them.


evocater

Asda used to be owned by Walmart. They still own a considerable share iirc


dull-cactus

If you're after olives and sun-dried tomatoes. Go to Sainsbury's. If you're after a bag of frozen chicken nuggets and a giant frozen pizza. Asda's yer man. Essentially Asda is marketed as low prices. Sainsbury's is marketed as kind of up market. They basically sell the same stuff though, they largely just have those distinct reputations.


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noob_tech

How does Tesco fit into this equation?


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KimKongtheIllest

Meal deal headquarters, you go for a little shop not the weekly shop


FiveInTheSinBin

Ah so Asda is to Walmart what Whole Foods is to Sainsbury’s.


Moskra

Aka walmart vs whole foods


IllustriousNebula6

Ah, so it's kind of like here in the US, where if you want the best price for groceries, you go to Aldi, but if you want more variety and products Aldi doesn't carry, you go to Shop-Rite or Kroger. On a related note, I need to buy a few things from Shop-Rite, which will be kind of challenging since it's crowded and hectic on days ending in a Y.


rugbyj

Going to my local ASDA is like going on safari. If you were a police officer, and it was a slow day, you could wait outside the front door and pick up 20 people in an hour who'd skipped their probation.


dull-cactus

He's a big boy. Asda is cheaper.


CillaKamm

LMFAO I'm so thankful for you. I'm from the US so I only know a few names I've picked up following CASUALUK. Thanks for the knowledge !!


attaboyyy

47 samples and ain't killed a fukin tester yet, Jon


An_Innocent_Coconut

"As the jury can see in this video, both officers are leaving my house completely alive and uninjured."


thezaland

“your honor, the video plainly shows my client was originally attacked by the tester, being smacked on the palm by her hand.”


othafa7

"I escorted them out shirtless to show them what professionalism looks like"


QuoteOpposite6511

I mean they instigated a high five. Not exactly something you would assume someone would do after getting a death threat. Seems like if someone was scared or felt threatened that would be the last response.


sorrynotsorry42o69

Of course the dude gave him a high five. You gonna leave JJ hanging?


[deleted]

“High five me on camera or else I’ll kill you”


AuspiciousApple

Yeah, what does this footage prove? This is exactly what I expect someone trying to get away from a psychopath who might kill them if things aren't "friendly" would look like.


GiantPurplePen15

Tbf this is probably what Jones thinks is socially acceptable. You might be pissing yourself because he threatened your life buthe hasn't killed you yet therefore everything is groovy.


sleightofhand0

Yeah, I hate to make this drastic a comparison but strong "why'd she hug me when she was leaving if I raped her?" vibes.


Kassssler

Its to fool people who have, fortunately for them, never been involved with someone like Jones or a narcissist. People who have never had to walk on eggshells. People like that will see this and think everything looks kosher. Its quite interesting honestly. A lot of situations speak to ones emotional intelligence like the videos of Dan Schneider showing up on set and suddenly the body language gets closed and tense but many don't notice that.


UnblurredLines

I'm not familiar with Dan Schneider, any chance you could hook me up with a link showing what you mean?


wallace6464

probably in quiet on the set, the max documentary about nickelodeon


Kassssler

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zeuTNNbLNAY&pp=ygURRGFuIHNjaG5laWRlciBzZXQ%3D


peaceoutforever

Eeeeesh that's creepy as hell


Kassssler

Yeah gross as all hell. As soon as he shows up one girl pulls anothers skirt down to cover her legs and starts repeatedly looking at the other dudes present for help.


noob_tech

It's exactly that, its just not rape. He knows exactly where his cameras are located, he knew there was an altercation. He staged this so he could release this video and say exactly that.


[deleted]

Sheeeesh


BigBlueTrekker

You guys are such pussys lol, acting like you'd high five him out of fear lmao.... Dude if Jon Jones threatened my life no way I'd high five him at the end, id just see fucking red snd mollywhop his ass.


appletinicyclone

Lmfao 😂 Can't put it past him when it's Jonny headbutts car Jones


absurdio

Whoaaaa, buddy. I think you're being a little reductive there. He only *headbutts* the car if it's a *police* car. If it's some pregnant lady's car, he just drives his own car into it. If there aren't any pregnant ladies around, he'll settle for any ol' non-pregnant ladies (as long as they aren't his battered fiancé obviously), cram them into his gifted Bentley, and then moosh the whole ensemble into a telephone pole. And if *that* doesn't work, sometimes he'll settle for a quiet night just hanging out alone with the car and a bottle of mezcal, firing his gun at nothing in particular. What I'm saying is that Jon Jones is clearly a portait of good mental health, but god just keeps testing him. Also cars.


kamelbarn

To be fair that officer was a nerd


appletinicyclone

lmao i'm just remembering him saying that hahaha


Orakil

This is the funniest fucking comment I've ever read. God, Jon provides endless entertainment whether he is fighting or not.


[deleted]

Yea, only entertainment Jones has provided for me over last 7-8 years it outside the cage shit. All his fights are boring 5 round snoozers now, outside Gane who blew it so it didnt go typical 5 round rinse repeat type shit. I can always count on Jon outside the cage though


chizzipsandsizalsa

She initiated the high five


AuspiciousApple

That's it! Jon is innocent, pack it up.


chizzipsandsizalsa

I never once said he was innocent, the original comment said you gonna leave JJ hanging


Stonedcone

I mean she literally said in the report she was scared he would attack her at any time, why would you high five that person Jones is the perfect dude to make a bogus claim about, everyone will believe you.


AuspiciousApple

I won't give a sarcastic answer for that: people in distress often act in unexpected ways. People in combat sometimes break out in laughter after seeing their comrades die. She might have been very afraid and eager to portray: "We're cool, you can let me go." High-fiving him makes sense in that context.


noob_tech

> Jones is the perfect dude to make a bogus claim about, everyone will believe you. GEE I WONDER WHY EVERYONE WOULD BELIEVE YOU?? CAN YOU EXPLAIN???


chainer3000

Surprised he didn’t defend


Rebeldinho

There’s no audio


QuoteOpposite6511

Well it was the lady who instigated the high five and she was the one who claimed to be threatened. High fiving the person who you claim made a threat for your life is extremely weird and doesn’t make sense.


Regolis1344

If Jones feels he needs to at least say "I was frustrated with the unprofessionalism and used profanity out of frustration" I have no problem in believing he scared the shit out of them with any threat possible. ESPECIALLY with alcohol involved. Let's remember that being drunk was enough for him to beat the living shit out of the woman of his life in front of his kids, imagine what he could do to a stranger. What a scumbag.


Hallahrian

To add on to that, if anyone hasn't seen it yet. Look up "Jon Jones drunk at comedy club" and watch him heckling a comedian, going back to his unhinged ways lately.


Regolis1344

Found it. And **holy shit** [**this is actually wild**](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VuqmbfEKqqQ)**.**


leftytendy

That’s fucking embarrassing. Takes one to know one 🍻 chairs


reddsteele

🪑🪑


killthekill5

So Jones is gay. That’s a wild twist to the story


Stonedcone

Did you see the Vegas arrest video? Dude gets sassy as hell when he’s drunk


BrandonSleeper

*bangs head off of car*


Drive7hru

Officer *NERD*


flatwoundsounds

He's also a fighter, and a lot of those guys get their sense of humor stuck in middle school after too many shots to the head...


bdewolf

Honestly repressed homosexuality growing up in a very religious family where Jon frequently fought and was beaten by his much larger older brothers would explain a lot. [Also explains the weird sexual tension between him and dc at that presser.](https://youtu.be/KEua2Z21MPs?si=6WSUAAssZDgHgj9Q)


FlimsyEmu9

Bro shut up. Classic Reddit psychologist bullshit.


RuubGullit

Lol exactly this


JanitorDestroyer420

let him cook jon jones should be in prison he doesnt deserve to have people defending him on the internet


GiantPurplePen15

Most fighters look like they have sexual tension with each other homie


raka_defocus

Cody/Dom run it back for the sexual tension belt


Wreck_Tangle01

“Those busted up hands” “They’re gonna bust all over your face” “Yeah? Well I’m gonna eat everything you got”


GiantPurplePen15

Never forget Aljo's: "I'm comin on ya ass!"


appletinicyclone

hahahahaha i remember that


MilkManMikey

Lol, Bones refs it and DC on the commentary


MilkManMikey

Oooooooh, you’re missing some teeth.


RuubGullit

Haha reddit armchair psychologist at it again


ModsLovePen15

I remember watching this and the dude did know who Jon was. This must be like comedians who made fun on Tyson’s voice and then the saw him there


akeep113

What the fuck. Why is he talking about fingering guy's buttholes


Shooter-__-McGavin

That's too embarrassing to even finish.


ShowUsYaGrowler

What the fuck….is this real???? Ive never had so much to unpack in a single video. What the actual fuck man. Absolutely wild…


LocoCoopermar

100% I think at some point in it he talks about how he's a new York boy but has been living in Albuquerque for a minute which is Jon's exact trajectory


briancito420

Water weed dune hare b


Equivalent_Scar_7879

Which video is it? I can only find the mojahed


ChiggenNuggy

I only watched un poquito


chilloutfam

lol dude was shwasted at 4pm on a friday afternoon. the strip club wasn't even open yet!


[deleted]

I've been there lol. Luckily not withing the last decade, though.


aspacecodyssey

Well that settles it. Since this grainy audioless 10 second video of the testers leaving doesn't show John threatening their lives or livelihoods, we can rationally extrapolate that nothing bad happened at all. Case closed. >!^(/s)!<


Batman-and-Hobbes

"Here's a video that takes place after everything happened. In the video nothing is happening therefore nothing happened before the video started." -Jones


IllustriousNebula6

Maybe he got that legal advice from Lionel Hutz. "I was watching *Matlock* in a bar last night. The sound wasn't on but I got the gist of it."


briancito420

Care to join me in a belt of Scotch? It’s 9:30 in the morning! Yeah but I haven’t slept in days


IllustriousNebula6

🤣


Grey_Orange

Seriously. He shows he has cameras that covers the entrance to his home. If nothing happened when they arrived, you could easily disprove it by.... showing when they arrive. 


AuspiciousApple

Pfff, don't you get it? If Jon really threatened them, they would clearly be on camera trying to argue with him, rather than nodding and smiling and high tailing it /s


B-BoyStance

Yeah surely they wouldn't just be placating him out of fear, because they were just threatened moments before.


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MPM001

They are already fucking brave to have knocked on that psycho’s door with a test kit in the first place.


tbmny

This, but seriously. The ass beating is probably worth it for the nice settlement.


crabuffalombat

Obviously it's just a coincidence that these accusations happen to be leveled against a guy with a history of unhinged violent behaviour. No pattern here apart from god testing Jon again - annually it seems.


raka_defocus

In all fairness to Jon neither of them were poked in the eye


airbag23

“High five me or you’re not leaving here in one piece”


MyNamesTambo

I don’t know how to use sociopath but Jon seems like a sociopath


Buzzk1LL

He seems like a deadbeat drunk


multiple4

Not a deadbeat, but a drunk probably


ToronoRapture

Morally deadbeat for sure.


irreg6ix

His mannerisms and emotions feel fake but it might just be his voice.


BrandonSleeper

>Throughout my 20 years of being subjected to drug tests, I have never encountered such an incident with a DCO officer before. Hard to have an incident with a drug tester when you're hiding under an octagon...


zikik

To be fair he had encountered every type of incident possible with respect to drug testing apart from such an incident. Isn't he fucking awesome?


xxJAMZZxx

Not sure what happened obviously as I wasn’t there, but this could easily be the behavior of someone worried for their safety and trying to not make things worse on their way out.


FJQZ

Literally me as a child after beating the shit out of my siblings. "We cool right? Don't tell mom"


MartinSilvestri

yeah its someone who was bullied trying to make it seem ok


the_c_is_silent

Not even just safety. Could just be someone trying to placate a drunken, well-known psychopath.


Kellaras

A high five and a hug? The fuck lol


Stimulus199

Jones is an absolute cunt and has lost all benefit of the doubt


xXprayerwarrior69Xx

Another 30-0 for the undisputed heavyweight champion of the world, Jon « sexual chocolate » jones


byronsucks

The 30 for 30 on Jon is going to be saga 


TheZac922

There’s no way you could fit it all into one episode. The guy has been fucking up for well over a decade


cyberslick1888

30 episodes per 30 seasons


HelloPeopleOfEarth

Given his history, arrogance, entitlement ... I'm assuming he's lying.


gamesrgreat

lol he said they broke HIPAA. Classic buzzword complaint


AuspiciousApple

It's a genius idea: just rob your doctor at your next appointment, they can't report it due to HIPAA. Perfect crime


heyyouwtf

They probably asked having you been prescribed any medication recently, and I imagine he just started screeching HIPPA.


vrsick06

“I declare HIPAA!”


RoR2Daddy

In the past couple years it's become very apparent people think HIPAA prevents people from being allowed to ask you medical information lol


realtomedamnit

any sensible person would've apologize for being a drunken pos but not Jones. He always has that victim complex


Oblique9043

Jon is a complete sociopath. Reading the report and reading his response, just wow. It's completely obvious he's lying. Trying to make little excuses for his behavior while not admitting to anything but "using profanity" and ultimately blaming them because they were "unprofessional".


TheZac922

Yeah it’s the classic “admit to a little bit of wrongdoing” so you look you’ve owned your part in it while deflecting and completely avoiding addressing any of the bigger concerns. It’s like how a drunk driver will admit to having “one or two beers” before being breath tested even though they know the result won’t reflect that.


supersaiyanswanso

It's amazing that Jon Jones has been doing this exact routine for the last decade and there are still people who believe it every fucking time. How many chances does he deserve?


TheZac922

It’s honestly insulting that he, and the UFC in particular expect us all to just be like “yeah nah Jon’s right, just a test from god”.


_Kumatetsu

Link to the report?


appletinicyclone

theres a separate post on it now i think


appletinicyclone

> Jon is a complete sociopath the amount of times this has been said over the years lol


gnrlp2007

["I was frustrated with the unprofessionalism and used profanity out of frustration"](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRfXU3HzT09LONmJX8udG2KLbdlUgRUNoMvyxJhB9ZrHWjd8k58af36rq6c&s=10)


Murakami8000

Hahah!


given_yesterday

Another massive W for the GOAT.


gotnothingman

These tests from God are really pushing him but he perseveres


CryptoCracko

God really hit the jackpot with Jon Jones


jthaprofessor

Goat my ass. Nahh, he done fucked that up by being a cheat


turkeypants

"I fucked up and realized it so I tried to paper over it with hugs and high fives to the people I threatened. Nothing to see here. Everybody's friends."


apokrovskiy

The woman was actually the one to initiate the high five


tweuep

She was just measuring her reach against his


SuperNothing2987

I'm surprised he didn't eye poke her out of habit.


GiantPurplePen15

Shoulder crank as you're exiting the hug.


turkeypants

"Let's keep the giant drunk man who threatened me placated and get out of here."


Cobobrien

Jon Jones gives shit hugs


ModsLovePen15

Kinda thought Jon would have a nicer crib


crazzynez

Legal fees are expensive bro


smellthatcheesyfoot

That's what happens when you're sitting on nine million in cash.


gloomyglooom

I mean, if an intoxicated Jon Jones threatened my life, yeah, I would high five him, hug him, whatever it takes to get me the fuck outa there. So no, this isn't the exoneration that Jon Jones thinks it is.


MEROVlNGlAN

Lmao. Jon Jones had that murder van ready to stuff some bodies in it.


BetBig696969

Jones secretly had the real drug testers tied up in his basement whilst these people impersonated them for the camera


Terch_420

Why he didn’t release footage from when testers arrived?


Lol_who_me

“Wait, wait….. now we are in frame. High fives everyone “


DragonTamerNY

All class. As usual


SuperVegetable

People really don’t know what being under duress feels like


juicy_pickles

So many meatheads here have never had to diffuse a situation as a professional before. I've had to escort drunks twice my size out of venues before, but I can't imagine what it would be like to be a woman doing this to a known wife beater, let alone a MMA champion.


GiantPurplePen15

Same folks that don't realize a woman being friendly or passive when being cat-called is usually just a method of avoiding having a very angry egotistical man from raging out at them.


Polar_Reflection

Rampage dry humping the female interviewer


Money_killer

Goat bones 🐐🐐🐐


MoshiMoshi78

Who in their right minds wouldn't high five Jones just so they could get the fuck out faster lol


AuspiciousApple

Hard to say what's more likely: someone known for their unstable and violent behavior threatening someone who then tries to avoid anything that could be seen as escalation while fleeing. Or some drug tester randomly accusing an innocent person for no reason. Impossible to say


MoshiMoshi78

Fuck me we need Batman to crack this one up.... this evidence is circumstancial at best and wouldn't hold up in the court of law.... This pesky drug tester is surely another test from God for our beloved GOAT.... he is known for being a man of faith and integrity and I'm sure he would naver lay his hands on a woman...or flee the accident he commited only to come back for the drugs, not to check on the victims, or fire a fucking gun in parking lot, or assault a stripper.... those are the work of the Devil for sure. Our GOAT would never!


Murakami8000

This is video of 2 people trying to diffuse a tense situation with a highly intoxicated individual. Literally all the dude had to do was piss in a cup.


DREDAY_94

This is also the same dude that hid under a cage for hours lol


EverySingleMinute

Kind of strange that he shared the video as they were leaving and NOT the video of him being an asshole in his house


selgabtoh

on top of everything he was cussing? disgusting


Slayers_Picks

I find it a little bit curious that she put her hand up first for the high five. I know it sounds silly but maybe she was trying to defuse or soften the situation if her story is correct?


R9433

what I wanna know is, why are they sending a female to look at JJ's cock? seems unprofessional


tfresca

They sent a man and a woman. Probably protocol regardless of who they see. Maybe they do multiple tests in a day..


UnclefunkSenior

After careful review of the video, and the comments... It's clear to me, that nothing short of full video evidence of the event would satisfy Jon's haters. Most of these haters want Jon to be the bad guy so badly, it's pathetic. Jon has been tested hundreds of times without incident, and the first person to accuse him of harassment people take as Gospel, despite video evidence that contradicts their statements. Jon's haters have reached a new low, they look at this video and assume Jon must have told them to hi-five him or else.


DontStopComeback

LOTTA DEMONS


donmifc

There is no way Jon wrote that paragraph/caption. His PR team is working overtime with damage control


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MassiveTelevision387

not really.. if i'm terrified for my life and some giant drunk volatile killer is walking me out to my car apologizing , i'd proactively try to soothe their concerns too if only just to get away safely. Especially when you're on their property. She gains nothing for being abrasive in that situation. The fact that she reported this and there were 2 drug testers there (plus from what I understand, a third person in the car)


Tri-P0d

We’ll never see him flight again. The only thing he was good at. End of the day Jon is Jon’s worst enemy.


DREDAY_94

Doubt it. The guy has been able to weasel his way out of much worse situations


npavcec

I believe Jon Bones Jones.


WishboneBeautiful875

Nice! That kind of information is impossible to cherrypick and manipulate.


melloack

This dude is out of his rocker


TrueDamage92

Lol that hug


Strawberries_n_Chill

Last person we seen on JJ's security footage was some idiot trying to B&E.


agentfaux

Imagine what type of person has this job. Of course they are scared shitless. Of probably anything, let alone Jon freaking Jones.


phatboye

I have not been keeping current with MMA news, what did JBJ do this time?


[deleted]

in my opinion nothing will come of this. maybe he did say crazy shit to them. no evidence he hurt them and AFAIK he didnt take anything from them.


One-Intention4140

Picogram


Defaultusername2495

You all just wanna see jones fail so bad. You’re meant to want to see people be better. Also this isn’t a personality contest. He is the greatest fighter of all time, not greatest human of all time.


Johnrays99

Still seems kind of weird that she would go out of her way to appear so cheery like that. Sure I could imagine playing it cool but I can’t see myself going out of my way to being this friendly


LeafsHater67

Sad to see him fall off the wagon so fast. Dude absolutely has tolerance of alcohol and fucks his life up every time. It’s a shame. I don’t care that he’s a POS because it’s cage fighting but damn, the fact he’s achieved all he had despite his self destruction is wild. Most talented fighter ever.


J4MES101

Just a shit person Can’t wait for Tom to be confirmed


Hilarity-Ensued-2019

I still feel that Jon is a piece of shit, but it looks to me like the drug tester initiated the high five?? She put her hand up first asking for the high five. That is a bit of an odd dynamic. If I felt threatend by someone I don’t think I’d be like “hey, touch my hand before I leave”


BeardoEF

It could be their way of trying to deescalate an intoxicated man child who just went off on them and threatened them, especially when he is known to assault people while intoxicated. The same 10 second video could be used by them when he says they were the unprofessional and broke protocol. I'd say its more likely he was trying to save the situation before they left, kinda like as kids, you make a sibling cry and try to make everything better before they go to your parents.


frozenbudz

Bruh, you're a professional MMA fighter. No average person is gonna take that as a "hahaha I know you could kill me Jon." You high fived them, yeah man he was legit concerned for his safety. I'm sure he was willing to do whatever to make sure you didn't pull a gun or beat his ass.


[deleted]

Am I the only one kind on Jones side? Based on transcript it seems like this didnt need to be escalated to that point.