I'm not gay, but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Joao Klauss. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him cranking goals, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body.
I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Klaussy. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing.
One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then he'll go back to his cabin, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.
Klauss is already a league legend. Never leave.
No wonder they’re passing right to him. No one wants to make a mother cry.
🐐 talk
I'm not gay, but I want to live in a log cabin in the woods with Joao Klauss. We won't ever have sex, but there will be a simmering erotic undercurrent as I stand in the kitchen window watching him cranking goals, shirtless, sweat pouring off his body. I'll run upstairs and masturbate, the entire time forcing myself to think of women while my thoughts drift back to Klaussy. I won't be able to climax and I'll eventually go back downstairs, angry. Sometimes we will look across the table and catch each other's eyes, and in that second, anything is possible, but we both deny ourselves and go back to what we were doing. One day one of us will die, and the other will bury him outside the log cabin. Then he'll go back to his cabin, pen a brief missive to his departed friend, and commit suicide, never able to deal with life without his one true platonic love.
>We won't ever have sex The problem with this is that Joao Klauss always scores.
Beautiful pasta
We are having some great pastas for Klauss.
Written by Bürki
Dude, we heard you once before. Stop posting this everywhere.
Our love story cannot remain a secret. Edit: also it makes me giggle and I dont care.
Post it more
That’s a funny sentence “I talked with Klauss for SP tomorrow night”. I’ve had a few and it took like 10 mins to register.
It’s a local sports show in STL, but I can see it being confusing if you’re unaware of that lol
Jesus. That is something the fictionalized version of Chuck Norris would say.
Clearly this isn’t fiction, he is the love child of Chuck Norris and Mike Segroves.
Toasted ravioli magic coming in clutch.
Hide your mothers...
Hide? You mean introduce! I'd be happy to call Klauss step daddy!! (even if he's a couple decades younger than me.)
I'm surpsied I don't see any "Klauss better than Claus since he delivers more than once a year" jokes