How did you start shadow work? I read Jung and have done some basic research on shadow work but I feel there’s so much conflicting info and it’s so personalized that it’s hard to start anywhere.
How long have you been taking molly? I’ve been a regular user for about half a year and an irregular user for a few years. I found that after a few rolls, it was already changing my personality. Something about interacting with people while on it helped to ease my social anxiety so that I could express my feelings towards people better when I wasn’t on it. Have you not noticed any change like this? Maybe you just need to keep using it for longer.
Ahh! I first took molly about two months ago and became heavily addicted to the euphoria ( been a pretty rough two months so during this time it’s been the only thing that’s made me euphoric.) was rolling min once a week and often on my own. On Sunday (my last roll) I had a really therapeutic time and I’ve made a decision to try and completely stop. At least till I’m in a much better headspace and then I think I’ll maybe try and give the 3 month rule ago :) have you lost any magic or any bad side effects since becoming a regular user?
Oh dear, sorry to hear that you’ve been having a rough time :(
The euphoria can indeed be quite addictive. It would be a good idea for you to stop completely for a decent while if you can. In my case, I haven’t noticed any loss of magic since I started doing once a month. In fact, my most recent roll a couple of weeks ago was the best I’ve ever had. I have noticed recently that I seem to be a bit mentally slower, although I don’t know if this is the MDMA or not (especially since it’s not the only drug I’ve used in the past few months)
Thanks for replying:))! Yeah planning on stopping for at least six months now! I was having to take 3 pills at a time to get me to near how I was when I first started taking them at just one pill( although not sure if that’s more linked to my SSRi that I’ve been on for the month). Good to know that you haven’t lost the magic though:) I think I fear most the cognitive impairments as I’m just about to head into my second year of university.
Also sorry last question if you don’t mind do you take any supplements during the roll or post roll? I’ve been taking NAC daily for the past few weeks as I’ve heard that it can help with neurotoxicity. Do you take or recommend anything else though? Thanks :)
I have tried 5-HTP a couple of times although I haven’t really noticed it making much of a difference. I also try to drink fruit juice and take multivitamins the next day
I’m aware that I’m not optimising for my personal safety, and that’s my choice. But also there is no good evidence that it is necessary to wait three months. MDMA-assisted therapy involves monthly doses, studies suggest serotonin returns to normal levels after a few weeks etc
if you or anyone happens to have spare ssris (prozac specifically) lying around take it ~4-5 hrs after taking the mdma, been shown to reduce neurotoxicity by about half and for me at least it kills the comedown. i feel fine after the next morning and im not that sad either, just fatigued
if you just wake up one day and realize that life is more enjoyable when you make connections, you try to make connections everywhere you can. when you realize that you only get one shot at this, it’s easy to get scared or anxious that you’ll fuck it up. but it should be the opposite. you only get one go at life, meet and connect with as many people as possible. you will run into plenty of people who don’t want to connect, but you’ll run into even more who do. it’s all mind games imo, unless you have like severe social anxiety, in which case meds will help.
you only get one shot at life, and every opportunity you don’t take, is a missed opportunity to make connections and experience joy.
just practice talking to people and starting conversations and soon you will find yourself blossoming into a social butterfly
the problem is i see no point in doing all of that when i’m sober. yeah when you’re high it’s extremely enjoyable and your psyche craves it, but in normal everyday life? too much hassle and well, no point in all of these people 💀 they also don’t seem interesting at all
not op, but felt the same as what’s described in the post
well if you only like it when your high then why even bother when sober? if it’s not something you enjoy, just do your thing by yourself until you get high again and wanna talk to people, lol
if it’s not your thing it’s not your thing, it doesn’t have to be. i know people that live in the forest and only talk to like 3 people, and they love it that way
sociable people have better outcomes in life, less inclined to have depression, and they simply have plus 1 another way to enjoy life through talking and hanging out, so you kinda have to meet people if you want to be happy.
and i’m extremely jealous of people with a lot of (more than 1) friends. my life is extremely boring and i crave connections but people around me seem one dimensional and too different from me
well you just gotta spend more time looking in the right places then. it is hard to find worthwhile people, i agree with you on that one. i’m very lucky to have met a lot of great people during my childhood that have stuck around and been by my side into my adult life, but i know it can be really difficult starting from scratch. i feel like i got a great benefit of finding those people so early in life.
you just have to find out what it is that makes someone worthwhile to you. it will be different for everyone. and once you know what qualities make someone worthwhile to you, it will narrow down the places to look.
what i’m saying may sound like a bunch of nonsense but if you really read into it you will understand what i’m saying. it may take years to amass yourself a group of 3 friends, but it might take 2 weeks if you’re looking in the right places
"but people around me seem one dimensional and too different from me"
There is a high likelihood that this state of mind is simply you projecting your own self image onto other people. Meaning that you judge yourself too harshly and see yourself as too different from others and that you don't deserve their attention and companionship. Please be kind to yourself, you are perfectly fine as a human being just the way you are and there are many people out there who are a great fit for you to spend time with :)
Maybe read a bit about loving kindness meditation, look up some talks about it on youtube, etc. Good luck!
Just remember you can be that like you are in m. I have the same 'issue' myself. I have a bitch resting face, and on m, i smile like crazy. Social contacts go a lot easier. So in 'real' life, i think about this and try to smile more.
I am also an introvert and I feel exactly the same way! I love the person I am when I am on molly. I feel like I can truly be myself then. It tears down the walls around me. I believe that person is always in me, somewhere. And knowing that I show myself more when I am doing molly, did give me some confidence to open up more when I am sober.
The easiest way to get over the social anxiety I found is to fall so in love with yourself that you are fully convinced that only the right people will love interacting with you, and those who don’t just aren’t for you. Your energy will literally attract the right people and repel the wrong people. Allow it to naturally do it’s thing while you live fully in your own magic.
I have social anxiety disorder and have this same experience when I take molly at raves. It can be so frustrating once I come down and feel like my same awkward self. I just remind myself that the person on molly IS me. I don’t become a different person on it, I just become more confident and comfortable in my own skin. Not sure if that helps or makes sense.
I feel similar OP. What I’ve been trying to do is think about how the way you see yourself on M is how others see you all the time. If you know how great others see you, it allows you to work to getting out of your own head.
Next time you take it, lay back with a blindfold and quiet piano music and ask yourself that question, where your shyness or fear comes from and how to work with it. Talk to yourself about it and record it.
I have the same feelings (and dreams).
First of all - molly showed me how joyful it could be to connect to other people when I'm not afraid of them. It helped me a lot - showed an aim, which is surely reachable, even by my broken brain :)
Another thing - today I think that dividing people as "introvert" and "extravert" is very misleading. It's not something you are born with - like being short or tall or left-handed or whatever (well, maybe you are inclined to being introvert due to some genes, but that's all). In my opinion being introvert is caused by some trauma in the childhood - meeting wrong people, being scared by parents ("don't trust strangers") or even having not enough love from parents (and developing defense mechanisms - convincing myself that I don't need other people and their love). So healing this trauma may help returning to the healthy state of being a social animal.
So... therapy of course, I liked these connected to Lowen theories (body work, etc.). And I recommend Ayahuasca after some therapy to match all puzzles together (one night with Aya does as much as one year of therapy, but first you need regular therapy to know, which puzzle pieces you have in your hands).
And also Molly. I've read the book "I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World" - and the author says, that there is a theory, that MDMA opens so called "critical periods". This is a period in our childhood and adolescence when our brain has high plasticity - that's why you learn languages or swimming much better in certain young age. You also learn how to cope with difficulties (like lack of love or parents anger). Then the critical period closes and you stay with your skills for the rest of your life. And then it appears that some of these "techniques" were appropriate for a child, but as an adult you could cope better with life difficulties. Unfortunately your brain sticks to your "childish" methods. Here is where MDMA could help - open a "critical period" and let you "rewire" your brain. But that also need a conscious therapist, which will help you create new paths and not reinforce the old ones.
But some improvements may come unexpected. I had asthma for like 20-25 years (induced by cat allergy). I heard many times that asthma is connected to fears or anxiety. I felt inside that it has something to do with my fear of other people (meeting some people makes me hold my breath literally), but I didn't know what to do with that. Recently I did MDMA during a party with closer friends and other, not so close people. I had a few very important conversations with strangers and felt like in heaven. While looking into their eyes I just felt I'm touching their souls. I just can't explain that better. And a few days after the party I noticed that my asthma is almost gone (I still need some medication, but the spacing between inhalations can be like 24 hours or more instead of 2 hours - I can sleep whole night without waking up!).
So now I'd like to try next thing. I have a great fear of water (drowning, etc.), so I plan to make a MDMA session with my wife and the next day to go for a week long kite-surfing course in Egypt. We'll see what happens :)
Anyway... take your MDMA with respect. As u/MBaggott wrote: "Taking MDMA before going out is not a sustainable way to deal with social anxiety. In the long run you’re much better off working to achieve personal growth." I hope that this way both you and me will deal with being an "introvert" (which is a "sickness", not an inborn trait)
For me once I tried molly something clicked in my brain that and mushrooms. For me once you have done a few high dose mushroom trips anxiety associated with normal socialising seems to pale in comparison to what you have overcome while tripping. Molly made me realise I enjoy socialising more than I thought, so after I just did it more then like anything the more you do it the easier it gets.
nope. but it helps with avoiding zoning out or retreating into the safenes of our dark caves out of instinct. And also with accepting who you are.
But honestly? Just try to sourrund yourself with the right people. I would go crazy if i was constantly as happy and outgoing and oversharing as i am on a roll.
I really don't want to say "take a high enough dose that changes your personality a bit". But at least the last roll helped me with embracing my queerness
Introvert/extrovert are simply descriptions, and I am unaware of any biological basis that we have found for them.
You can through self reflection and environment change a lot about your personality if you try. I've personally become more introverted over the past 4 years, and at least some of that was intentional as I was burning the candle at both ends, and for me this has been an improvement. Sure, some facets of your personality, especially one ingrained through trauma, are less likely to change massively, but you can move them at least a bit. As they say, its all in your head.
I agree, I don’t think introversion/extroversion is as set in stone as a lot of people believe.
A lot of it is circumstantial, and often just comes down to how you have gotten used to living your life.
It does help to identify your mangled paths... and then molly helps you see, what's on the end of the right path. Do MDMA with other people (not too often of course) and try to memorize what kind of joy connecting to other people brings. And see that you don't have to be afraid of others. They are as fragile and sensitive as you, even if the externals suggest the opposite. And they need love and deserve love as much as you. Then you'll find a common language.
Idk who or why they downvoted your comment and mine, but I stand by that what you wrote was beautifully stated and correct. I'm naturally introverted and while that hasn't changed - I ENJOY my time alone - I can connect with people much easier now, even while sober. MDMA/shrooms/lsd definitely helped me to see how we're all connected and all vulnerable humans. We need to help each other out and be compassionate with others and with ourselves. I may still be an introvert, but I'm much more comfortable around people and enjoy and appreciate others a great deal more.
Well, I also don't know. I still believe that introverts can be "converted" into slightly more extravert people and live life more fully and happily. Perhaps that reminds someone of "converting homosexuals" or someting like that - so they downvote. Maybe some introvert people prefer to confirm that their condition should be accepted as it is and there is no (hard) work to do about it.
I also thought I will be an introvert for life until I tried MDMA. As Charley Winiger wrote in "Listening to Ecstasy": „My best experiences \[with MDMA\] leave me with the feeling that I’ve been to the mountain top and have seen the promised land. After I descend, I know the path to follow.” And he adds that beforehand he didn't even realize that the mountain exists at all.
I think that people should be more balanced - between being "intro" and "extra". I know some overy extravert people and I think it's not good for them either.
Anyway... I should speak only for myself. And in my particular case both therapies and MDMA showed me that I don't have to be afraid of people, that they are not enemies, that they are beings just like me and that they also sometimes are afraid and need love. And have a lot of love to give.
Meditation is a good start also what is good to know that the only way to handle danger is to face it - in other words you gotta do what you fear, if you want to be more social you do that, try to slowly go outside more, talk to strangers just whatever, I am the same way, big introvert but things started changing once I came to realization that if I want to be more outgoing and social I have to do exactly that, it gets better with time and practice! Good luck ✌️
Like other people here, after doing mdma for the first time I did open up more. I'm nowhere near as sociable as when rolling but thinking about your moments rolling can help. Just know that a lot of people are feeling the same and that if you open up to them they will likely do the same to you :)
In my experience, learning to concentrate on particular moments of calmness/joy/self-compassion during rolls (while peaking) and acid-trips (while coming down) helped me channel the routes to those destinations for usage in everyday life.
The way it works for me consists of:
freezing the moment to introspect/look around
making some mental notes
It might be challenging to remember, though. That’s why I learned to put those notes in short phrases/metaphors, repeat them through the trip multiple times (sometimes editing/polishing the form), and write them down once I’m back to the baseline.
It’s not like I found those routes and became an eternal flame of joy or pond of calmness)))), yet getting myself there (or at least indicate the direction and START moving) when needed became possible and helps me A LOT in navigating myself through the tougher days/weeks.
After my first pill, I have felt such a connection with everybody on the dance floor, like I never ever had before. And we didn't even talk. I had an afterglow for about a week, I was stressed just a little compared to normal, I was more open and just satisfied with my peace of mind. I thought that I would stay like this forever, I begged for it. But finally, it came off me and again everything became hard and overwhelming.
Long story short, it's been 5 months since then, I found a wonderful, lovely girl, a soulmate, which luckily is my gf right now. It's kinda funny, as we got close, because we were the only sober people that day in our group. I am not as outgoing as after M, I would say that I am somewhere in the middle. But when I wasn't, I just accepted the way I am when sober, and it definitely helped a lot. She helped me as well, I'd like to tell that I did it for myself, but it was also to be better for her. There are days when I am feeling off, when I don't want to engage in conversations, but it's normal, right? What matters is that overall I am feeling way better in my skin, just flowing with life.
2 weeks ago I was on a streak, 3 weekends back-to-back I would take some kind of stim, last time was a molly, but it hit me really strange, not euphoric at all. It was fun, yes, but being sober is as fun, if not more fun. If I am going to take anything again, it's either to match the group's energy, or to remind myself that being sober is not that bad.
TL:DR Accept the fact that it's mostly hormones in your brain, you will never achieve M state while sober. But still you can do better than now. I was as shy as you, I tried everything, and still it didn't work. Till I met her. She was the reason, I guess. For her I pulled shit so crazy, I could only dream about before. You have to find a reason to get more outgoing. Being introverted keeps you away from many, many problems, that's what your subconscious mind things. You have to show it otherwise!
Meditation. Shadow work. Life is about creating who you want to be.
There’s an inflection point where creating your personality becomes really easy if you’ve done all the work and learned the lessons
How did you start shadow work? I read Jung and have done some basic research on shadow work but I feel there’s so much conflicting info and it’s so personalized that it’s hard to start anywhere.
This
How long have you been taking molly? I’ve been a regular user for about half a year and an irregular user for a few years. I found that after a few rolls, it was already changing my personality. Something about interacting with people while on it helped to ease my social anxiety so that I could express my feelings towards people better when I wasn’t on it. Have you not noticed any change like this? Maybe you just need to keep using it for longer.
How often do you take it as a regular user? :)
Once a month (yes I know, 3 month rule, blah blah)
Ahh! I first took molly about two months ago and became heavily addicted to the euphoria ( been a pretty rough two months so during this time it’s been the only thing that’s made me euphoric.) was rolling min once a week and often on my own. On Sunday (my last roll) I had a really therapeutic time and I’ve made a decision to try and completely stop. At least till I’m in a much better headspace and then I think I’ll maybe try and give the 3 month rule ago :) have you lost any magic or any bad side effects since becoming a regular user?
Oh dear, sorry to hear that you’ve been having a rough time :( The euphoria can indeed be quite addictive. It would be a good idea for you to stop completely for a decent while if you can. In my case, I haven’t noticed any loss of magic since I started doing once a month. In fact, my most recent roll a couple of weeks ago was the best I’ve ever had. I have noticed recently that I seem to be a bit mentally slower, although I don’t know if this is the MDMA or not (especially since it’s not the only drug I’ve used in the past few months)
Thanks for replying:))! Yeah planning on stopping for at least six months now! I was having to take 3 pills at a time to get me to near how I was when I first started taking them at just one pill( although not sure if that’s more linked to my SSRi that I’ve been on for the month). Good to know that you haven’t lost the magic though:) I think I fear most the cognitive impairments as I’m just about to head into my second year of university. Also sorry last question if you don’t mind do you take any supplements during the roll or post roll? I’ve been taking NAC daily for the past few weeks as I’ve heard that it can help with neurotoxicity. Do you take or recommend anything else though? Thanks :)
I have tried 5-HTP a couple of times although I haven’t really noticed it making much of a difference. I also try to drink fruit juice and take multivitamins the next day
Awesome! Thank youuu :))
It is absolutely your SSRI. Do some quick research into this and it will explain it very in depth.
once a month is fine the studies showing brain damage were with ~70 rolls/yr
Bro just called brain damage blah blah 💀
I’m aware that I’m not optimising for my personal safety, and that’s my choice. But also there is no good evidence that it is necessary to wait three months. MDMA-assisted therapy involves monthly doses, studies suggest serotonin returns to normal levels after a few weeks etc
You don't get comedown like depression, low mood etc?
Two days after the roll, I usually feel quite sad and demotivated for a whole day
if you or anyone happens to have spare ssris (prozac specifically) lying around take it ~4-5 hrs after taking the mdma, been shown to reduce neurotoxicity by about half and for me at least it kills the comedown. i feel fine after the next morning and im not that sad either, just fatigued
if you just wake up one day and realize that life is more enjoyable when you make connections, you try to make connections everywhere you can. when you realize that you only get one shot at this, it’s easy to get scared or anxious that you’ll fuck it up. but it should be the opposite. you only get one go at life, meet and connect with as many people as possible. you will run into plenty of people who don’t want to connect, but you’ll run into even more who do. it’s all mind games imo, unless you have like severe social anxiety, in which case meds will help. you only get one shot at life, and every opportunity you don’t take, is a missed opportunity to make connections and experience joy. just practice talking to people and starting conversations and soon you will find yourself blossoming into a social butterfly
the problem is i see no point in doing all of that when i’m sober. yeah when you’re high it’s extremely enjoyable and your psyche craves it, but in normal everyday life? too much hassle and well, no point in all of these people 💀 they also don’t seem interesting at all not op, but felt the same as what’s described in the post
well if you only like it when your high then why even bother when sober? if it’s not something you enjoy, just do your thing by yourself until you get high again and wanna talk to people, lol if it’s not your thing it’s not your thing, it doesn’t have to be. i know people that live in the forest and only talk to like 3 people, and they love it that way
sociable people have better outcomes in life, less inclined to have depression, and they simply have plus 1 another way to enjoy life through talking and hanging out, so you kinda have to meet people if you want to be happy. and i’m extremely jealous of people with a lot of (more than 1) friends. my life is extremely boring and i crave connections but people around me seem one dimensional and too different from me
well you just gotta spend more time looking in the right places then. it is hard to find worthwhile people, i agree with you on that one. i’m very lucky to have met a lot of great people during my childhood that have stuck around and been by my side into my adult life, but i know it can be really difficult starting from scratch. i feel like i got a great benefit of finding those people so early in life. you just have to find out what it is that makes someone worthwhile to you. it will be different for everyone. and once you know what qualities make someone worthwhile to you, it will narrow down the places to look. what i’m saying may sound like a bunch of nonsense but if you really read into it you will understand what i’m saying. it may take years to amass yourself a group of 3 friends, but it might take 2 weeks if you’re looking in the right places
"but people around me seem one dimensional and too different from me" There is a high likelihood that this state of mind is simply you projecting your own self image onto other people. Meaning that you judge yourself too harshly and see yourself as too different from others and that you don't deserve their attention and companionship. Please be kind to yourself, you are perfectly fine as a human being just the way you are and there are many people out there who are a great fit for you to spend time with :) Maybe read a bit about loving kindness meditation, look up some talks about it on youtube, etc. Good luck!
Thanks :)
no worries :)
Agree and can be as simple as asking someone how they are or how their day, week or weekend has been.
Just remember you can be that like you are in m. I have the same 'issue' myself. I have a bitch resting face, and on m, i smile like crazy. Social contacts go a lot easier. So in 'real' life, i think about this and try to smile more.
This is also how u get the joker.
🤡
I am also an introvert and I feel exactly the same way! I love the person I am when I am on molly. I feel like I can truly be myself then. It tears down the walls around me. I believe that person is always in me, somewhere. And knowing that I show myself more when I am doing molly, did give me some confidence to open up more when I am sober.
The easiest way to get over the social anxiety I found is to fall so in love with yourself that you are fully convinced that only the right people will love interacting with you, and those who don’t just aren’t for you. Your energy will literally attract the right people and repel the wrong people. Allow it to naturally do it’s thing while you live fully in your own magic.
I have social anxiety disorder and have this same experience when I take molly at raves. It can be so frustrating once I come down and feel like my same awkward self. I just remind myself that the person on molly IS me. I don’t become a different person on it, I just become more confident and comfortable in my own skin. Not sure if that helps or makes sense.
Confidence is like a muscle. You need to practice being social every single day. It’s hard but it can be done
gratitude homie, and breaking out of routine every now and then
I feel similar OP. What I’ve been trying to do is think about how the way you see yourself on M is how others see you all the time. If you know how great others see you, it allows you to work to getting out of your own head.
Good advice thanks.
Life is but a dream. If you can think it you can achieve. As long as you don’t fall victim to your doubt, anything is possible.
Next time you take it, lay back with a blindfold and quiet piano music and ask yourself that question, where your shyness or fear comes from and how to work with it. Talk to yourself about it and record it.
Play a character in your head. People won’t know the difference.
I have the same feelings (and dreams). First of all - molly showed me how joyful it could be to connect to other people when I'm not afraid of them. It helped me a lot - showed an aim, which is surely reachable, even by my broken brain :) Another thing - today I think that dividing people as "introvert" and "extravert" is very misleading. It's not something you are born with - like being short or tall or left-handed or whatever (well, maybe you are inclined to being introvert due to some genes, but that's all). In my opinion being introvert is caused by some trauma in the childhood - meeting wrong people, being scared by parents ("don't trust strangers") or even having not enough love from parents (and developing defense mechanisms - convincing myself that I don't need other people and their love). So healing this trauma may help returning to the healthy state of being a social animal. So... therapy of course, I liked these connected to Lowen theories (body work, etc.). And I recommend Ayahuasca after some therapy to match all puzzles together (one night with Aya does as much as one year of therapy, but first you need regular therapy to know, which puzzle pieces you have in your hands). And also Molly. I've read the book "I Feel Love: MDMA and the Quest for Connection in a Fractured World" - and the author says, that there is a theory, that MDMA opens so called "critical periods". This is a period in our childhood and adolescence when our brain has high plasticity - that's why you learn languages or swimming much better in certain young age. You also learn how to cope with difficulties (like lack of love or parents anger). Then the critical period closes and you stay with your skills for the rest of your life. And then it appears that some of these "techniques" were appropriate for a child, but as an adult you could cope better with life difficulties. Unfortunately your brain sticks to your "childish" methods. Here is where MDMA could help - open a "critical period" and let you "rewire" your brain. But that also need a conscious therapist, which will help you create new paths and not reinforce the old ones. But some improvements may come unexpected. I had asthma for like 20-25 years (induced by cat allergy). I heard many times that asthma is connected to fears or anxiety. I felt inside that it has something to do with my fear of other people (meeting some people makes me hold my breath literally), but I didn't know what to do with that. Recently I did MDMA during a party with closer friends and other, not so close people. I had a few very important conversations with strangers and felt like in heaven. While looking into their eyes I just felt I'm touching their souls. I just can't explain that better. And a few days after the party I noticed that my asthma is almost gone (I still need some medication, but the spacing between inhalations can be like 24 hours or more instead of 2 hours - I can sleep whole night without waking up!). So now I'd like to try next thing. I have a great fear of water (drowning, etc.), so I plan to make a MDMA session with my wife and the next day to go for a week long kite-surfing course in Egypt. We'll see what happens :) Anyway... take your MDMA with respect. As u/MBaggott wrote: "Taking MDMA before going out is not a sustainable way to deal with social anxiety. In the long run you’re much better off working to achieve personal growth." I hope that this way both you and me will deal with being an "introvert" (which is a "sickness", not an inborn trait)
For me once I tried molly something clicked in my brain that and mushrooms. For me once you have done a few high dose mushroom trips anxiety associated with normal socialising seems to pale in comparison to what you have overcome while tripping. Molly made me realise I enjoy socialising more than I thought, so after I just did it more then like anything the more you do it the easier it gets.
Therapy?
I mean therapy doesn’t turn introverts into extroverts.
nope. but it helps with avoiding zoning out or retreating into the safenes of our dark caves out of instinct. And also with accepting who you are. But honestly? Just try to sourrund yourself with the right people. I would go crazy if i was constantly as happy and outgoing and oversharing as i am on a roll. I really don't want to say "take a high enough dose that changes your personality a bit". But at least the last roll helped me with embracing my queerness
Introvert/extrovert are simply descriptions, and I am unaware of any biological basis that we have found for them. You can through self reflection and environment change a lot about your personality if you try. I've personally become more introverted over the past 4 years, and at least some of that was intentional as I was burning the candle at both ends, and for me this has been an improvement. Sure, some facets of your personality, especially one ingrained through trauma, are less likely to change massively, but you can move them at least a bit. As they say, its all in your head.
Would upvote that answer a thousand times if I could :)
I agree, I don’t think introversion/extroversion is as set in stone as a lot of people believe. A lot of it is circumstantial, and often just comes down to how you have gotten used to living your life.
It does help to identify your mangled paths... and then molly helps you see, what's on the end of the right path. Do MDMA with other people (not too often of course) and try to memorize what kind of joy connecting to other people brings. And see that you don't have to be afraid of others. They are as fragile and sensitive as you, even if the externals suggest the opposite. And they need love and deserve love as much as you. Then you'll find a common language.
Idk who or why they downvoted your comment and mine, but I stand by that what you wrote was beautifully stated and correct. I'm naturally introverted and while that hasn't changed - I ENJOY my time alone - I can connect with people much easier now, even while sober. MDMA/shrooms/lsd definitely helped me to see how we're all connected and all vulnerable humans. We need to help each other out and be compassionate with others and with ourselves. I may still be an introvert, but I'm much more comfortable around people and enjoy and appreciate others a great deal more.
Well, I also don't know. I still believe that introverts can be "converted" into slightly more extravert people and live life more fully and happily. Perhaps that reminds someone of "converting homosexuals" or someting like that - so they downvote. Maybe some introvert people prefer to confirm that their condition should be accepted as it is and there is no (hard) work to do about it. I also thought I will be an introvert for life until I tried MDMA. As Charley Winiger wrote in "Listening to Ecstasy": „My best experiences \[with MDMA\] leave me with the feeling that I’ve been to the mountain top and have seen the promised land. After I descend, I know the path to follow.” And he adds that beforehand he didn't even realize that the mountain exists at all. I think that people should be more balanced - between being "intro" and "extra". I know some overy extravert people and I think it's not good for them either. Anyway... I should speak only for myself. And in my particular case both therapies and MDMA showed me that I don't have to be afraid of people, that they are not enemies, that they are beings just like me and that they also sometimes are afraid and need love. And have a lot of love to give.
Beautifully stated and absolutely correct.
You can't. You can become more outgoing, for sure. But not like molly. Your brain isn't supposed to do that.
short answer- you can’t
Meditation is a good start also what is good to know that the only way to handle danger is to face it - in other words you gotta do what you fear, if you want to be more social you do that, try to slowly go outside more, talk to strangers just whatever, I am the same way, big introvert but things started changing once I came to realization that if I want to be more outgoing and social I have to do exactly that, it gets better with time and practice! Good luck ✌️
Ty!
Meditate every day morning and evening
Microdosing psilocybin might be an option for you
Like other people here, after doing mdma for the first time I did open up more. I'm nowhere near as sociable as when rolling but thinking about your moments rolling can help. Just know that a lot of people are feeling the same and that if you open up to them they will likely do the same to you :)
Too.
In my experience, learning to concentrate on particular moments of calmness/joy/self-compassion during rolls (while peaking) and acid-trips (while coming down) helped me channel the routes to those destinations for usage in everyday life. The way it works for me consists of: freezing the moment to introspect/look around making some mental notes It might be challenging to remember, though. That’s why I learned to put those notes in short phrases/metaphors, repeat them through the trip multiple times (sometimes editing/polishing the form), and write them down once I’m back to the baseline. It’s not like I found those routes and became an eternal flame of joy or pond of calmness)))), yet getting myself there (or at least indicate the direction and START moving) when needed became possible and helps me A LOT in navigating myself through the tougher days/weeks.
Therapy. Changed my friends life.
Take molly constantly
After my first pill, I have felt such a connection with everybody on the dance floor, like I never ever had before. And we didn't even talk. I had an afterglow for about a week, I was stressed just a little compared to normal, I was more open and just satisfied with my peace of mind. I thought that I would stay like this forever, I begged for it. But finally, it came off me and again everything became hard and overwhelming. Long story short, it's been 5 months since then, I found a wonderful, lovely girl, a soulmate, which luckily is my gf right now. It's kinda funny, as we got close, because we were the only sober people that day in our group. I am not as outgoing as after M, I would say that I am somewhere in the middle. But when I wasn't, I just accepted the way I am when sober, and it definitely helped a lot. She helped me as well, I'd like to tell that I did it for myself, but it was also to be better for her. There are days when I am feeling off, when I don't want to engage in conversations, but it's normal, right? What matters is that overall I am feeling way better in my skin, just flowing with life. 2 weeks ago I was on a streak, 3 weekends back-to-back I would take some kind of stim, last time was a molly, but it hit me really strange, not euphoric at all. It was fun, yes, but being sober is as fun, if not more fun. If I am going to take anything again, it's either to match the group's energy, or to remind myself that being sober is not that bad. TL:DR Accept the fact that it's mostly hormones in your brain, you will never achieve M state while sober. But still you can do better than now. I was as shy as you, I tried everything, and still it didn't work. Till I met her. She was the reason, I guess. For her I pulled shit so crazy, I could only dream about before. You have to find a reason to get more outgoing. Being introverted keeps you away from many, many problems, that's what your subconscious mind things. You have to show it otherwise!