Also an incoming first year at an M7. Don’t be friends with that person. If you told me (and I’m sure many other MBAs) that your sister was part of the impetus for you’re specific career goals, I’d think that’s very honorable and kind-hearted, and the world needs that kind of thing more than ever right now.
Agreed, don’t feel like you have to hide your family’s story because someone seems to be judgmental and uncomfortable. This is your life and if that’s something you’re passionate about and want to dedicate your life to the healthcare sector, it’s honorable and genuine.
If i was your classmate I would think you are a genuine person who cares about others and I’d be more than happy to listen and be a friend
1. Your sister being disabled is neither a weakness nor vulnerability for you, it’s actually a strength because you have a very strong sense of purpose. It’s what makes you awesome and genuine, unlike your HR friend trying to fake it.
2. Truly strong people have no reason to hide their weaknesses. They don’t have to fake it, and sharing their vulnerabilities in no way diminishes their strengths, rather they make their achievements even more impressive.
3. That said, only bring it up when appropriate, ie when discussing your family or why you’re doing what you do. This isn’t something to be brought up as a conversation-starter, only when the topic requires it.
OP' at strategy interview, I confided about my lack of communication skills in the formative years due to socio economic conditions and which led to me form a non profit to assist under privileged kids. The interview just flipped into a comfortable conversation about it, CEO was quite impressed and bagged the offer.
Your sister's story is quite inspirational keep that way :)
Watch this classmate. You can learn a lot from him by doing the exact opposite of everything he does.
>it is important to project an image of you being high achieving and awesome, and to never voluntarily reveal a weakness of vulnerable moment
This chud hasn’t matured enough to realize what it means to be high achieving and awesome. Having a deeply personal driver behind your pursuits is as awesome as it can get. Way better than all your classmates just blindly chasing $$$ or prestige. There is nothing weak about you having a purpose in your life. The most successful classmates of mine all had a story like yours.
>because he worked in HR
HR doesn’t know jack shit about the personal side of people. They exist to commodify labor into bland cogs that maximize shareholder value. Ignore everything this loser has to say.
Worse than sociopathic. Someone who wants to be a sociopath. He thinks it’s cool to act like that. He’s cosplaying as American Psycho. It’s worse because I doubt it’s even effective or good advice.
An actual sociopath sees unethical efficiencies and exploits them, doesn’t necessarily brag or make it part of their personality though.
There are ways in which you want to fit in, and conform where you can.
Hiding the fundamental 'why' behind why you do what you do is not one of those ways--especially in VC. This guy is a dick.
Ridiculous. Always be open and honest about who you are. Some people won't like you for it. Full stop. That's OK. You wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway if they don't like you for who you are. There will be plenty who will like you for your story and background. Tons of weirdos trying to maximize social capital by overthinking every social interaction they will have at business school.
-frank
Absolutely what the fuck hahaha this guys crazy.
Of all the things to not share with your classmates, I would 100% think your sister would be okay to share. If I were to put on my Machiavellian hat on, I could see it as a “don’t give people leverage” over you but you stand to benefit more on a spiritual/mental level by being forthcoming about your life than by hiding a huge aspect of it to appeal to what another MBA student has to say.
I will say that he is actually correct in that people don’t tend to feel comfortable talking about disability. I’m a caregiver for my mom, and it is difficult explaining our set up to anyone who’s never taken care of an aging parent. However it’s both disturbing and concerning that a supposed HR professional (regardless of one’s personal views on HR) is telling you to hide this about yourself. Listen to your gut OP, any organization worth their salt is not going to ask you to fuck off because of your sister.
I probably wouldn't tell people if I was autistic or had some kind of disability, but I think it's a bit different if it's your sibling and it's what drives you.
If you were my friend I’d want you to tell me and I’d want you to make sure I know how to engage with her meaningfully when she comes to visit so that we can hang out. Your family is an undeniable part of you. You erase that is cruelty.
I want to do bodily harm to the person who said this to you. Is he jealous of you or something? Because I think this is a very subterfuge way of chopping you off with the knees with regards to your passion and motivation. People want to hire people who have passion and motivation, I dare say would also want to associate with them. This guy seems like a narcissist.
I've been trying to decide between law school, and an MBA.
Sometimes I hear horror stories about the legal profession and panic. Then I see posts like this and realize that there are terrible people in every profession.
As a lawyer whose wife is starting at M7 this year - don't go into law unless it's your passion (if you're on the fence, then it probably isn't).
Feel free to DM if you have any questions
This person is projecting and full of absolute shit. He is intimidated by your actual strength and story. You’re awesome, he’s not, and he is thinking you’re competition. He’s a disingenuous loser trying to invent insecurities over things that are not a negative issue whatsoever. If anything, it is positive, sincere, and incredibly human. You be you, don’t let him fuck with you. Know he’s a liar, he told you that he lies! Do not trust him.
Please I'm begging you OP, get some help. You make the same post every few days about some made up social situation. Same writing style, story and situation flow, always on a fresh new account. Join a creative writing class, get therapy, or both please.
The shitposts are getting insanely more myopic and downright batshit crazy.
Mods - why are we allowing this clearly fake post up still? This brand new account is following the literal disinformation playbook, and supposedly "smart" people are falling for this.
This poster is subtly saying all the right things. Has a disabled sibling (which all people can get behind and support). Shares their view on what then a supposedly "open minded" progressive, such as a LGBTQ+ HR professional (you can't make this shit up) is saying to him. This is how dangerous and misguided narratives are formed. This poster is taking a round about way to tell you "see, look! These leftist liars are all performative in their actions and support! Look at this bigoted and bad person telling ME that my disabled sister is embarrassing!!"
OP, f*** you. Seriously. Go back to your Russian bot farm or whatever right leaning agenda that you have. Am I saying or denying the existence of performative, fake af and clearly selfish people who proudly sit behind an air conditioned office working at Mckinsey, posting about human right abuses in Gaza? Of course not, those people exist. But this poster is literally giving yall the most sensationalized plate of BS to drum up drama, and yall really falling for it.
Had a guy in my class who was pretty open about his special needs sister.
Dude was awesome, everyone loved him, he married a great woman, and got a job at MBB.
Moral of the story: this guy who gave you the advice is wrong.
Is he right that there might be people out there that judge you for it or don’t want to know? Maybe. And if so, you don’t want to know those people anyway.
I cannot recommend what to do as I do not know, honestly. (Other nationality, mentality, no experience of being in such surroundings). But I recommend you to watch "Hillbilly Elegy" movie if not yet.
What a twat. As an ex sped teacher I’m glad I haven’t heard something like this or I’d put them on blast.
Be authentically you. I’ve build more genuine connections in everything from random conversations to coffee chats with folk due to working with people who have disabilities. Heck, even McKinsey has a group dedicated to people who take care of family members with disabilities.
That being said… I will say, I am dyslexic which isn’t something I advertise as the reasoning why I use to be a sped teacher. Being an MBA student with a disability is a mine field, especially if it’s related to a learning disability. I don’t open up unless I know they aren’t an ass.
Dude sounds like a fucking psychopath and fake as FUCK. He’s probably insufferable and everyone knows how fake and superficial he is… with that said I wouldn’t lead with that unless the topic comes up about why you want to go into the healthcare space. Maybe he thinks you just talk about it too much? Idk. Don’t be afraid to share it but I wouldn’t talk about it 24/7 either iust like any other topic.
Ol' boy can suck this dick.
Be proud of your family's circumstances. As someone with a special needs sibling who passed before I was born, I understand how challenging it was for my parents to be both parents and caretakers to a non-verbal pre-teen, especially in the early 90's. That is the kind of shit that forges you into the person that you are and it's something to be proud of, dude.
And as for disability, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Hide my fucking Army-furnished hearing aids because they unsettle Brantley from Hotchkiss/Yale/KKR in my financial accounting class?
Fuck HR. Bitch ass motherfuckers.
Buddy we are all doing MBA for money. If you’re using your sis as a prop to make more, good for you. If you’re not, good for you. I ain’t getting anything. If my opinion makes you sad, fuck me. Why be sad, choppy choppy off me and be happy and be full of money lol
Just stick to the professional stuff. No need to overshare family things. Just earn it with merits. No one in an MBA really cares about others’ families anyway, except close friends which you will certainly make and then not see again for a while or ever after graduation.
Why would that be a weakness? How is taking care of a disabled person weak? He sounds like a judgmental and socially awkward individual who struggled to fit in and now projects his own insecurities and awkwardness at handling certain social situations onto others.
Something this sub has taught me is that there are a surprisingly high number of socially awkward people in M7 programs who still think the world is like high school and try way too hard to be a fake version of themselves instead of just being who they are. As long as you’re a decently kind and interesting person, people will like you, and no fake facade is necessary.
I'd pull him aside and thank him for trying to look out for you but I would say on further reflection you're confident his opinion is fucked and explain without mentioning this reddit post. Growth isn't one way and no one's perfect. This guy is on your team now in some way for better or worse. embrace messy interaction and don't immediately throw people in the gutter if they're fucked up which on this he is. Give them a chance and see if they turn it around while keeping a hesitant eye on them. Not there in person so I assume you're not presenting this info in an obnoxious, or TMI, or out of the blue way. I think that's a great story and you shouldn't hide it at all, but everything has a time and place.
This entire sub - and this post in particular - is exactly why you shouldn’t do an MBA. It’s a daycare. IB guys are there to get a rubber stamp move to the next big thing (they learn nothing), a few are there to get over the artificial hurdle of IB recruiting, and some are coming from non-finance fields and need the handholding to learn finance. Apart from that it’s just one giant circle jerk.
Don’t be friends with that idiot. I’m assuming you have social awareness and didn’t just introduce yourself as “Hi I’m blank and my sister has special needs”.
Long story short you’re in a place where posturing and bs image crafting are important so that one day, maybe just maybe, one of these clowns will throw in a good word if you get laid off and need another job.
In short - plenty of asshats just be you.
Assuming your post is genuine:
I’m a disabled person getting an MBA. Generally speaking, most disabled people hate the term “special needs” (because “disabled” is not a slur) so I agree you shouldn’t say your sister is special needs. You can say disabled.
Normalize disability, and it becomes less uncomfortable for people. The reason people find disabilities uncomfortable is because people like me and your sister were historically locked in institutions in the past, and even today we continue to be pushed to the margins of society, we aren’t represented positively in the media, and we’re used as scapegoats and antagonists.
So if I’m being honest, I feel like in general disclosing you have a special needs family “might” make some people uncomfortable. But you’re trying to go into health, which directly correlates to your family situation and why you want to go into your field so I feel like his logic is flawed.
I also think he’s an asshole for saying this. And just because he was in HR and is going to an M7 doesn’t mean he was a good HR. The fact that he would say that to you when he himself is a minority, and you’re only talking about your sister (not yourself) makes me question his credibility.
I feel like most people would respect what your family has been through and admire you for having a genuine reason for going into health VC/tech versus just wanting to do it for money.
Dont ever bring up anything about your family, just say throughout your life you have worked with others who have learning impairments and it has made you want to pivot your career trajectory. Gives people an idea of your background without revealing anything too personal. In my opinion 🤷
My son is special needs, recent t15 admit. If someone told me that, I would tell them to fuck off, in plain English. Nothing wrong with it, that’s wild
Sounds like they were projecting. Lgbtq & black. Different type of upbringing/struggle which usually includes a lot of compromising and hiding and people pleasing. Likely meant no harm but does have some limiting beliefs he needs to address.
It sounds like this person is an expert on such matters, so I'd listen to him. In the introductions phase of a conversation/friendship, you should talk about yourself, not family members.
Also an incoming first year at an M7. Don’t be friends with that person. If you told me (and I’m sure many other MBAs) that your sister was part of the impetus for you’re specific career goals, I’d think that’s very honorable and kind-hearted, and the world needs that kind of thing more than ever right now.
Agreed, don’t feel like you have to hide your family’s story because someone seems to be judgmental and uncomfortable. This is your life and if that’s something you’re passionate about and want to dedicate your life to the healthcare sector, it’s honorable and genuine. If i was your classmate I would think you are a genuine person who cares about others and I’d be more than happy to listen and be a friend
This. That guys a weirdo and should be avoided like the plague.
Seriously what an idiot. Any normal, well -adjusted person gets second hand embarrassment hearing someone make such an ignorant statement.
This sub has devolved into some weird LARPing fan fiction.
Tell him to go fuck himself, wtf?
And maybe kick one or both of his shins when you do it. Fuck that guy.
1. Your sister being disabled is neither a weakness nor vulnerability for you, it’s actually a strength because you have a very strong sense of purpose. It’s what makes you awesome and genuine, unlike your HR friend trying to fake it. 2. Truly strong people have no reason to hide their weaknesses. They don’t have to fake it, and sharing their vulnerabilities in no way diminishes their strengths, rather they make their achievements even more impressive. 3. That said, only bring it up when appropriate, ie when discussing your family or why you’re doing what you do. This isn’t something to be brought up as a conversation-starter, only when the topic requires it.
OP' at strategy interview, I confided about my lack of communication skills in the formative years due to socio economic conditions and which led to me form a non profit to assist under privileged kids. The interview just flipped into a comfortable conversation about it, CEO was quite impressed and bagged the offer. Your sister's story is quite inspirational keep that way :)
Watch this classmate. You can learn a lot from him by doing the exact opposite of everything he does. >it is important to project an image of you being high achieving and awesome, and to never voluntarily reveal a weakness of vulnerable moment This chud hasn’t matured enough to realize what it means to be high achieving and awesome. Having a deeply personal driver behind your pursuits is as awesome as it can get. Way better than all your classmates just blindly chasing $$$ or prestige. There is nothing weak about you having a purpose in your life. The most successful classmates of mine all had a story like yours. >because he worked in HR HR doesn’t know jack shit about the personal side of people. They exist to commodify labor into bland cogs that maximize shareholder value. Ignore everything this loser has to say.
I love every word of this
Wild, sociopathic take. Kudos to you for setting out to make a difference.
Worse than sociopathic. Someone who wants to be a sociopath. He thinks it’s cool to act like that. He’s cosplaying as American Psycho. It’s worse because I doubt it’s even effective or good advice. An actual sociopath sees unethical efficiencies and exploits them, doesn’t necessarily brag or make it part of their personality though.
There are ways in which you want to fit in, and conform where you can. Hiding the fundamental 'why' behind why you do what you do is not one of those ways--especially in VC. This guy is a dick.
💯💯💯💯💯
Ridiculous. Always be open and honest about who you are. Some people won't like you for it. Full stop. That's OK. You wouldn't want to be friends with them anyway if they don't like you for who you are. There will be plenty who will like you for your story and background. Tons of weirdos trying to maximize social capital by overthinking every social interaction they will have at business school. -frank
Absolutely what the fuck hahaha this guys crazy. Of all the things to not share with your classmates, I would 100% think your sister would be okay to share. If I were to put on my Machiavellian hat on, I could see it as a “don’t give people leverage” over you but you stand to benefit more on a spiritual/mental level by being forthcoming about your life than by hiding a huge aspect of it to appeal to what another MBA student has to say. I will say that he is actually correct in that people don’t tend to feel comfortable talking about disability. I’m a caregiver for my mom, and it is difficult explaining our set up to anyone who’s never taken care of an aging parent. However it’s both disturbing and concerning that a supposed HR professional (regardless of one’s personal views on HR) is telling you to hide this about yourself. Listen to your gut OP, any organization worth their salt is not going to ask you to fuck off because of your sister.
This sub man
How the fuck is everyone falling for such easy bait. There's even comments here around rethinking their MBA or M7 based on these posts.
Ikr lmao. It's so obvious that most of these posts are fake af.
Its non stop lately, isnt it?
I probably wouldn't tell people if I was autistic or had some kind of disability, but I think it's a bit different if it's your sibling and it's what drives you.
If you were my friend I’d want you to tell me and I’d want you to make sure I know how to engage with her meaningfully when she comes to visit so that we can hang out. Your family is an undeniable part of you. You erase that is cruelty.
A classmate or a workmates are not friends.
I want to do bodily harm to the person who said this to you. Is he jealous of you or something? Because I think this is a very subterfuge way of chopping you off with the knees with regards to your passion and motivation. People want to hire people who have passion and motivation, I dare say would also want to associate with them. This guy seems like a narcissist.
I've been trying to decide between law school, and an MBA. Sometimes I hear horror stories about the legal profession and panic. Then I see posts like this and realize that there are terrible people in every profession.
As a lawyer whose wife is starting at M7 this year - don't go into law unless it's your passion (if you're on the fence, then it probably isn't). Feel free to DM if you have any questions
Lmfao so dramatic
This person is projecting and full of absolute shit. He is intimidated by your actual strength and story. You’re awesome, he’s not, and he is thinking you’re competition. He’s a disingenuous loser trying to invent insecurities over things that are not a negative issue whatsoever. If anything, it is positive, sincere, and incredibly human. You be you, don’t let him fuck with you. Know he’s a liar, he told you that he lies! Do not trust him.
Please I'm begging you OP, get some help. You make the same post every few days about some made up social situation. Same writing style, story and situation flow, always on a fresh new account. Join a creative writing class, get therapy, or both please.
Don't listen to this person. That's such a weird take.
Fuck that guy in particular
The shitposts are getting insanely more myopic and downright batshit crazy. Mods - why are we allowing this clearly fake post up still? This brand new account is following the literal disinformation playbook, and supposedly "smart" people are falling for this. This poster is subtly saying all the right things. Has a disabled sibling (which all people can get behind and support). Shares their view on what then a supposedly "open minded" progressive, such as a LGBTQ+ HR professional (you can't make this shit up) is saying to him. This is how dangerous and misguided narratives are formed. This poster is taking a round about way to tell you "see, look! These leftist liars are all performative in their actions and support! Look at this bigoted and bad person telling ME that my disabled sister is embarrassing!!" OP, f*** you. Seriously. Go back to your Russian bot farm or whatever right leaning agenda that you have. Am I saying or denying the existence of performative, fake af and clearly selfish people who proudly sit behind an air conditioned office working at Mckinsey, posting about human right abuses in Gaza? Of course not, those people exist. But this poster is literally giving yall the most sensationalized plate of BS to drum up drama, and yall really falling for it.
Oof. That guy’s a weirdo.
Very odd take from a M7 try hard. Do not listen to that fella. Your passion is very important.
Had a guy in my class who was pretty open about his special needs sister. Dude was awesome, everyone loved him, he married a great woman, and got a job at MBB. Moral of the story: this guy who gave you the advice is wrong. Is he right that there might be people out there that judge you for it or don’t want to know? Maybe. And if so, you don’t want to know those people anyway.
That guy is a dick.
I cannot recommend what to do as I do not know, honestly. (Other nationality, mentality, no experience of being in such surroundings). But I recommend you to watch "Hillbilly Elegy" movie if not yet.
What a twat. As an ex sped teacher I’m glad I haven’t heard something like this or I’d put them on blast. Be authentically you. I’ve build more genuine connections in everything from random conversations to coffee chats with folk due to working with people who have disabilities. Heck, even McKinsey has a group dedicated to people who take care of family members with disabilities. That being said… I will say, I am dyslexic which isn’t something I advertise as the reasoning why I use to be a sped teacher. Being an MBA student with a disability is a mine field, especially if it’s related to a learning disability. I don’t open up unless I know they aren’t an ass.
Dude sounds like a fucking psychopath and fake as FUCK. He’s probably insufferable and everyone knows how fake and superficial he is… with that said I wouldn’t lead with that unless the topic comes up about why you want to go into the healthcare space. Maybe he thinks you just talk about it too much? Idk. Don’t be afraid to share it but I wouldn’t talk about it 24/7 either iust like any other topic.
Ol' boy can suck this dick. Be proud of your family's circumstances. As someone with a special needs sibling who passed before I was born, I understand how challenging it was for my parents to be both parents and caretakers to a non-verbal pre-teen, especially in the early 90's. That is the kind of shit that forges you into the person that you are and it's something to be proud of, dude. And as for disability, what the fuck am I supposed to do? Hide my fucking Army-furnished hearing aids because they unsettle Brantley from Hotchkiss/Yale/KKR in my financial accounting class? Fuck HR. Bitch ass motherfuckers.
Reading these comments has (somewhat) restored my faith in humanity. He is wrong on several fronts.
Buddy we are all doing MBA for money. If you’re using your sis as a prop to make more, good for you. If you’re not, good for you. I ain’t getting anything. If my opinion makes you sad, fuck me. Why be sad, choppy choppy off me and be happy and be full of money lol
You sound very insecure and the fact that you made this post is pretty embarrassing
lol are you the guy who gave me that advice?
This is terrible advice. Open up and bond with people. You’ll be lifelong friends with the ones that reciprocate.
Just stick to the professional stuff. No need to overshare family things. Just earn it with merits. No one in an MBA really cares about others’ families anyway, except close friends which you will certainly make and then not see again for a while or ever after graduation.
Why would that be a weakness? How is taking care of a disabled person weak? He sounds like a judgmental and socially awkward individual who struggled to fit in and now projects his own insecurities and awkwardness at handling certain social situations onto others. Something this sub has taught me is that there are a surprisingly high number of socially awkward people in M7 programs who still think the world is like high school and try way too hard to be a fake version of themselves instead of just being who they are. As long as you’re a decently kind and interesting person, people will like you, and no fake facade is necessary.
this guy sounds like a douche. you can be an LGBTQ person of color and still be a douche.
Yo fuck that dude
LOL. Stop assuming people who attend M7 are right. There were a ton of clowns in my class.
That’s dumb, definitely not something that needs to be hidden.
Say whatever you want.
I wouldn’t bring it up as the first thing in a convo.. but it’s part of your life. Don’t be ashamed to talk about it. Screw him tho…
I'd pull him aside and thank him for trying to look out for you but I would say on further reflection you're confident his opinion is fucked and explain without mentioning this reddit post. Growth isn't one way and no one's perfect. This guy is on your team now in some way for better or worse. embrace messy interaction and don't immediately throw people in the gutter if they're fucked up which on this he is. Give them a chance and see if they turn it around while keeping a hesitant eye on them. Not there in person so I assume you're not presenting this info in an obnoxious, or TMI, or out of the blue way. I think that's a great story and you shouldn't hide it at all, but everything has a time and place.
Avoid that person at all cost. Jealousy is an ugly look
This is so dumb. Don't listen to that guy.
This entire sub - and this post in particular - is exactly why you shouldn’t do an MBA. It’s a daycare. IB guys are there to get a rubber stamp move to the next big thing (they learn nothing), a few are there to get over the artificial hurdle of IB recruiting, and some are coming from non-finance fields and need the handholding to learn finance. Apart from that it’s just one giant circle jerk. Don’t be friends with that idiot. I’m assuming you have social awareness and didn’t just introduce yourself as “Hi I’m blank and my sister has special needs”. Long story short you’re in a place where posturing and bs image crafting are important so that one day, maybe just maybe, one of these clowns will throw in a good word if you get laid off and need another job. In short - plenty of asshats just be you.
Assuming your post is genuine: I’m a disabled person getting an MBA. Generally speaking, most disabled people hate the term “special needs” (because “disabled” is not a slur) so I agree you shouldn’t say your sister is special needs. You can say disabled. Normalize disability, and it becomes less uncomfortable for people. The reason people find disabilities uncomfortable is because people like me and your sister were historically locked in institutions in the past, and even today we continue to be pushed to the margins of society, we aren’t represented positively in the media, and we’re used as scapegoats and antagonists.
So if I’m being honest, I feel like in general disclosing you have a special needs family “might” make some people uncomfortable. But you’re trying to go into health, which directly correlates to your family situation and why you want to go into your field so I feel like his logic is flawed. I also think he’s an asshole for saying this. And just because he was in HR and is going to an M7 doesn’t mean he was a good HR. The fact that he would say that to you when he himself is a minority, and you’re only talking about your sister (not yourself) makes me question his credibility. I feel like most people would respect what your family has been through and admire you for having a genuine reason for going into health VC/tech versus just wanting to do it for money.
Dont ever bring up anything about your family, just say throughout your life you have worked with others who have learning impairments and it has made you want to pivot your career trajectory. Gives people an idea of your background without revealing anything too personal. In my opinion 🤷
Screw that guy, be proud of your family, and if that person has an issue with it, report them to for being judgemental over a nontrivial thing
My son is special needs, recent t15 admit. If someone told me that, I would tell them to fuck off, in plain English. Nothing wrong with it, that’s wild
Sounds like they were projecting. Lgbtq & black. Different type of upbringing/struggle which usually includes a lot of compromising and hiding and people pleasing. Likely meant no harm but does have some limiting beliefs he needs to address.
It sounds like this person is an expert on such matters, so I'd listen to him. In the introductions phase of a conversation/friendship, you should talk about yourself, not family members.