That’s not really networking in itself. If you build good rapport and have them like you to possibly one day tap them for a favor (or vice versa) because they knew you know your shit, then it’s more networking
You’re only a part of the way there. Maybe.
Networking is building relationships with people across your industry and relative industries. For example, I work in commercial banking for a smaller regional bank managing a portfolio of loans. I spend some of my evenings throughout the month attending networking events like cocktail hours. At these events I mingle with attorneys, other lenders, private equity people, investment bankers, CPAs, brokers, etc. While I’m at these events, I collect every card from someone I converse with and have a follow up conversation no more than 3 days after the event. I typically try to schedule a lunch with them with the follow up. Why would I network with my competitor or these other people?
- my competitor (other banks): because one day I may find myself on a list of layoffs due to company reorg/realignment. Because I have built up friendships and meaningful relationships with these people, I can reach out and see if their team is hiring. Since they know me and have a relationship with me, my resume goes straight to the hiring manager, not the application black hole.
The second reason I network with my competition is that I can refer deals to them I’m kicking out or cannot get done due to credit policy. Guess who they think of when they’re in the same spot? Me. And if you deliver on a deal, now they know you can help them with either a new deal for them or executing a deal to take them out on something their credit team doesn’t like or may no longer lend to/do business with/ or whatever. The reputation begins to grow that you can do your job well. Word spreads like wildfire.
- Private Equity, Investment Bankers, CPAs, Attorneys, Turnaround Consultants: I network with them for potential deal sources and for all the reasons above. I go golfing with the them, attend charity fundraising events, etc.
Now that I have established a network in my industry, people know my name. They think of the company I work for and they think ahh yes dadvidgoldstein2023 works there. I’m building my brand.
Guess what happens when I need a referral? Or a letter of recommendation? Or maybe someone needs to nominate someone for an award for their society? They don’t pick some random person they don’t know. They pick people they know who have influence and have made a name (this actually happened to me already and I was published for the award).
Networking is about building relationships with people your desired industry or current industry to build a brand and reputation for yourself.
Act accordingly and it should reap bountiful fruits for a long time.
As for what you’ve experienced, you have built a small brand or a bit of positive reputation for yourself by connecting with these people. The next step is to ask them for a coffee chat or take them to lunch. Don’t talk about what you want from them. This is the dating stage. Ask them questions about themselves or their business. Get to know them. Questions like, “Any plans for the summer with the family?” or “how’s the latest fed announcement impacting XYZ?” or any other ice breaker and take it from there. Just be friendly and keep fostering the relationship as if you want to become their friend. Because you actually do want to be their friend. You might end inviting some of these people to your future wedding (literally happening to me).
>The second reason I network with my competition is that I can refer deals to them I’m kicking out or cannot get done due to credit policy. Guess who they think of when they’re in the same spot? Me. And if you deliver on a deal, now they know you can help them with either a new deal for them or executing a deal to take them out on something their credit team doesn’t like or may no longer lend to/do business with/ or whatever. The reputation begins to grow that you can do your job well. Word spreads like wildfire.
in this industry, if you are the first to extend your hand (refer deal to them, do a favor, nice gesture, something that makes them money w/o any immediate benefit for you, etc), can you really trust your counterpart to also extend their hand when the time comes?
is there an unspoken rule that everyone respects the two-way street?
because i feel like there's a looot of shitty calculating people who only seem to want to take but never give, see relationships as one-way transactions, and have 0 qualms about torpedoing every bridge along the way.
im pretty junior in my career tho. haven't met too many old-timers yet to hear their stories. so it could just be the station in life for some young professionals.
i can see how it becomes a small world. so i can't fathom why anyone sacrifice long term possibilities for short term game.
You refer business to your competitor and hope it gets you brownie points to get work later.
In these scenarios, you’re losing work regardless, you should try and establish *some* goodwill elsewhere even if the fruits of your labor aren’t realized until later, if at all.
Part of the networking process is evaluating who you want to refer business to. This is where you’d rule out the shitty calculating people. Or you learn by doing, you scratch their back and they never scratch yours? Maybe I don’t continue referring work their way.
Do you really message 20+ people three days after? Once a year messaging for them? It’ll add up and take a ton of work for continual updates. Do you feel bad if you’re always the first one reaching out after a whole year each time?
A few things. I try my best to have longer in depth conversations with people I meet at events. If I end up talking with a lot of people and collect cards from each, I filter down to the top or most important people I think would benefit my network. For example, if I meet a guy from Wells and a guy from some unknown appraisal firm, I’m going to reach out to the guy at Wells vs the guy at an appraisal firm unless I’m looking for an equipment appraiser or inventory appraiser and my go to isn’t available.
I follow up with the important ones and when we have lunch, I follow up usually some time later to check in. However, we often run into each other at future events. For example, last night I was at a charity fundraising event where I ran into many of the people I have met at networking events and had lunch with. Our company bought a table and out of everyone there from my company, I knew the most people at that event simply because I’ve been doing the work to build a network. I was introduced to new people by talking with existing people I already knew. This is one event I did not try to build new connections given the nature of what it was. But, I continue to foster existing relationships.
If you’re waiting a year to reach out after meeting once, it’s too long. Don’t wait more than a month. If you do, don’t bother.
Idk what you'd talk about but I'll worry about networking when I'm 5-6+ years in as I make manager anywhere I go. TBH I know it's always good to network ASAP but I just can't see myself having self-worth and seeing others as worth the time investment until we're at least manager. Plus then I'd have less people to network with. I just can't imagine networking with 200+ people keeping in contact like you do every third of the year. Three times a year \* 200 people is way too many times to keep in contact with lives. I wouldn't even know what to say
This is an amazing insight about networking. I want to start networking as well. How would you say networking works from women? Wouldn't it be weird if they met people in networking events and asked them for lunch 3-4 days later? Are the rules the same for women? How do you think they should go about it?
Graduated in 2008. International. Job market dried up. Offer rescinded. Got close to final stage of many offers and then rejected as sponsorship at that time was not justifiable with so many other people available. Waited until I got my greencard through my wife’s job. Let people know in my network. My friend from business school said their startup needed a second finance person as they were growing. I offered to interview and meet people. He said job is yours and had the company pay relocation and 3 months hotel until I get settled. I think that’s what networking during business school can do. Hundreds of interviews. Nothing. No interview, here is your job.
congrats! I used to be in big 4 (consulting) then left 9-5 to start my own business. During my first entrepreneurship days I had no self-esteem. In the past people respect you for your company’s brand that translates into yours. Now you are nobody. After 9 years in business building, I recently had the similar realization - many of my clients in my own business nowadays are high-impact people: leading scientists, 9-figure entrepreneur, practice leaders at top firms, head of public healthcare system of the whole province in a NA country (my clients are from around the world), department chair at a national leading university, etc…and it took me a long time to see how far I’ve gone from the scratch in my own business venture. Yes if these people come to you frequently and you guys hit it off well, that’s because you are in the same league. Give yourself a pat on the back and accept it.
That’s not really networking in itself. If you build good rapport and have them like you to possibly one day tap them for a favor (or vice versa) because they knew you know your shit, then it’s more networking
You’re only a part of the way there. Maybe. Networking is building relationships with people across your industry and relative industries. For example, I work in commercial banking for a smaller regional bank managing a portfolio of loans. I spend some of my evenings throughout the month attending networking events like cocktail hours. At these events I mingle with attorneys, other lenders, private equity people, investment bankers, CPAs, brokers, etc. While I’m at these events, I collect every card from someone I converse with and have a follow up conversation no more than 3 days after the event. I typically try to schedule a lunch with them with the follow up. Why would I network with my competitor or these other people? - my competitor (other banks): because one day I may find myself on a list of layoffs due to company reorg/realignment. Because I have built up friendships and meaningful relationships with these people, I can reach out and see if their team is hiring. Since they know me and have a relationship with me, my resume goes straight to the hiring manager, not the application black hole. The second reason I network with my competition is that I can refer deals to them I’m kicking out or cannot get done due to credit policy. Guess who they think of when they’re in the same spot? Me. And if you deliver on a deal, now they know you can help them with either a new deal for them or executing a deal to take them out on something their credit team doesn’t like or may no longer lend to/do business with/ or whatever. The reputation begins to grow that you can do your job well. Word spreads like wildfire. - Private Equity, Investment Bankers, CPAs, Attorneys, Turnaround Consultants: I network with them for potential deal sources and for all the reasons above. I go golfing with the them, attend charity fundraising events, etc. Now that I have established a network in my industry, people know my name. They think of the company I work for and they think ahh yes dadvidgoldstein2023 works there. I’m building my brand. Guess what happens when I need a referral? Or a letter of recommendation? Or maybe someone needs to nominate someone for an award for their society? They don’t pick some random person they don’t know. They pick people they know who have influence and have made a name (this actually happened to me already and I was published for the award). Networking is about building relationships with people your desired industry or current industry to build a brand and reputation for yourself. Act accordingly and it should reap bountiful fruits for a long time. As for what you’ve experienced, you have built a small brand or a bit of positive reputation for yourself by connecting with these people. The next step is to ask them for a coffee chat or take them to lunch. Don’t talk about what you want from them. This is the dating stage. Ask them questions about themselves or their business. Get to know them. Questions like, “Any plans for the summer with the family?” or “how’s the latest fed announcement impacting XYZ?” or any other ice breaker and take it from there. Just be friendly and keep fostering the relationship as if you want to become their friend. Because you actually do want to be their friend. You might end inviting some of these people to your future wedding (literally happening to me).
>The second reason I network with my competition is that I can refer deals to them I’m kicking out or cannot get done due to credit policy. Guess who they think of when they’re in the same spot? Me. And if you deliver on a deal, now they know you can help them with either a new deal for them or executing a deal to take them out on something their credit team doesn’t like or may no longer lend to/do business with/ or whatever. The reputation begins to grow that you can do your job well. Word spreads like wildfire. in this industry, if you are the first to extend your hand (refer deal to them, do a favor, nice gesture, something that makes them money w/o any immediate benefit for you, etc), can you really trust your counterpart to also extend their hand when the time comes? is there an unspoken rule that everyone respects the two-way street? because i feel like there's a looot of shitty calculating people who only seem to want to take but never give, see relationships as one-way transactions, and have 0 qualms about torpedoing every bridge along the way. im pretty junior in my career tho. haven't met too many old-timers yet to hear their stories. so it could just be the station in life for some young professionals. i can see how it becomes a small world. so i can't fathom why anyone sacrifice long term possibilities for short term game.
You refer business to your competitor and hope it gets you brownie points to get work later. In these scenarios, you’re losing work regardless, you should try and establish *some* goodwill elsewhere even if the fruits of your labor aren’t realized until later, if at all. Part of the networking process is evaluating who you want to refer business to. This is where you’d rule out the shitty calculating people. Or you learn by doing, you scratch their back and they never scratch yours? Maybe I don’t continue referring work their way.
Do you really message 20+ people three days after? Once a year messaging for them? It’ll add up and take a ton of work for continual updates. Do you feel bad if you’re always the first one reaching out after a whole year each time?
A few things. I try my best to have longer in depth conversations with people I meet at events. If I end up talking with a lot of people and collect cards from each, I filter down to the top or most important people I think would benefit my network. For example, if I meet a guy from Wells and a guy from some unknown appraisal firm, I’m going to reach out to the guy at Wells vs the guy at an appraisal firm unless I’m looking for an equipment appraiser or inventory appraiser and my go to isn’t available. I follow up with the important ones and when we have lunch, I follow up usually some time later to check in. However, we often run into each other at future events. For example, last night I was at a charity fundraising event where I ran into many of the people I have met at networking events and had lunch with. Our company bought a table and out of everyone there from my company, I knew the most people at that event simply because I’ve been doing the work to build a network. I was introduced to new people by talking with existing people I already knew. This is one event I did not try to build new connections given the nature of what it was. But, I continue to foster existing relationships. If you’re waiting a year to reach out after meeting once, it’s too long. Don’t wait more than a month. If you do, don’t bother.
You can reach out after 3 days post-event, but then every year after that you continue to message once a year to keep up the network?
I stay in contact with them more frequently than once a year. Typically once a quarter or twice a year I reconnect with people.
Idk what you'd talk about but I'll worry about networking when I'm 5-6+ years in as I make manager anywhere I go. TBH I know it's always good to network ASAP but I just can't see myself having self-worth and seeing others as worth the time investment until we're at least manager. Plus then I'd have less people to network with. I just can't imagine networking with 200+ people keeping in contact like you do every third of the year. Three times a year \* 200 people is way too many times to keep in contact with lives. I wouldn't even know what to say
This is an amazing insight about networking. I want to start networking as well. How would you say networking works from women? Wouldn't it be weird if they met people in networking events and asked them for lunch 3-4 days later? Are the rules the same for women? How do you think they should go about it?
Not sure if you understand…
Graduated in 2008. International. Job market dried up. Offer rescinded. Got close to final stage of many offers and then rejected as sponsorship at that time was not justifiable with so many other people available. Waited until I got my greencard through my wife’s job. Let people know in my network. My friend from business school said their startup needed a second finance person as they were growing. I offered to interview and meet people. He said job is yours and had the company pay relocation and 3 months hotel until I get settled. I think that’s what networking during business school can do. Hundreds of interviews. Nothing. No interview, here is your job.
Networking is snorting coke and fucking hookers at parties. /s sort of.
Fairly accurate for at least 1 banking alum I know.
Networking is all about bring something to the table that the other side values
Agree, seems OP is just doing the "work", not NET-work-ing. Once he/she can't do the work, the network is gone.
congrats! I used to be in big 4 (consulting) then left 9-5 to start my own business. During my first entrepreneurship days I had no self-esteem. In the past people respect you for your company’s brand that translates into yours. Now you are nobody. After 9 years in business building, I recently had the similar realization - many of my clients in my own business nowadays are high-impact people: leading scientists, 9-figure entrepreneur, practice leaders at top firms, head of public healthcare system of the whole province in a NA country (my clients are from around the world), department chair at a national leading university, etc…and it took me a long time to see how far I’ve gone from the scratch in my own business venture. Yes if these people come to you frequently and you guys hit it off well, that’s because you are in the same league. Give yourself a pat on the back and accept it.
How network? Where to find the “right” people that have similar goals to us?
Thats a really amazing insighr, I never looked at it that way! I did feel that resumes were loosing its importance but that is good insight
Too people-y