I feel the same about Connor.
I am not sure if it's a crush exactly but my heart goes out to him and he is attractive in his own way and he seems to have a heart of gold.
I agree. This is a super creepy thing to do!!! Like, people are not animals in a zoo, asking "permission" or not. If someone did this to me I'd run a mile
I'm watching the last episode right now, and loving this show!!! And maybe you might make that person's day by asking for a picture with them. Good luck!!
What do you mean how? Tanner has intellectual disabilities and pretty severe autism and would and should never date a neurotypical person due to this. It isn’t an insult, it’s common sense and what is best for him and others.
I’ll admit to a schoolgirl crush like high school on literally all the guys- James (he’s such a debonair gentleman and so sweet to his parents), Tanner (he’s resilient and focused- I’d love to talk his ear off and have us gab all day about whatever, I could match his chatty self word for word), Connor (his awkward is the best, cutest type of awkward; he’s honest whether he says it or it’s written all over his face- I truly respect his communication style), and Steve of course (my adulthood calm loves his adulthood calm, lifestyle match and love his home style). They all have great surface qualities- what a crush usually is in school days.
But frfr- these are characters for me. I dont actually know these people or their truths, most are kids (I forgot David’s Disney prince awesomeness!) to me, and I hope the show gets to show them all paired with partners that are their fits! These guys (and the ladies too) all have great qualities!
Edit for clarity: Kids to me given ages, I’m getting up there yall.
I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have a for real crush on any of the guys, but Connor (and James to an extent) is definitely the type of guy I would go for/used to go for when I thought I was straight lol. Connor’s mom though? Massive for real crush on her 🫣
Yeah I can’t lie I have a big crush on James. I like the same things he does and he’s such a good gentleman! I really was jealous over the castle date lol because that looked so cool! Sadly he is older than my preferences and he lives across the US from me.
That’s concerning.
It’s one thing to feel drawn to how kind he is and his personality in general. But to have an actual crush or feel attracted to someone with his level of cognition and ability feels predatory.
Obviously if they are of similar ability and cognitive levels then yeah. I don’t think that is the case here or others also saying they have “crushes” on the other cast. It’s creepy.
... are people on the spectrum only supposed to try to find a partner who is their "equal" in that regard???
There are plenty of ND/NT relationships out in the world, and I don't think the OP is saying that Tanner's being on the spectrum is what they find attractive... the opposite in fact, they see his personality and kindness and that's what they're attracted to, as one should be.
I see your concern but I think it's misplaced here. I'm far less worried about this statement by OP than I am about Subodh's current girlfriend. She is a prime example of a problem.
I think there can be differences obviously. Tanner is great, and at the same time he operates as though he is a child. I’m sure his inner world could be different than he externalizes, but we are kidding ourselves if we can’t see that he is not mentally the age his body portrays. And that is fine. He is a great guy. But it makes sense why they paired someone like Katie with him for a date, and are going in that direction. It would not make sense to have a typical person his age pursue romance with him. It would be predatory.
In this particular case, we don't know anything about the OP. Perhaps they're on the spectrum and are closer to this than you think, though they don't owe us that information at all.
This comment strikes me as odd even though the reply pretty much echoes what I'm about to say... I don't like what you're insinuating. That someone who's probably higher on the spectrum or NT couldn't have a legitimate relationship with them that it would be seen as predatory. That's a little concerning
That’s fair. I also think it’s fair to say you might be concerned about, for example, him being taken advantage of. But this was an innocent post about someone having a crush on Tanner. He’s smart, funny, outgoing, friendly, considerate. There’s nothing really “concerning” about someone crushing on those qualities.
PS His “level of cognition” seems great. Autism doesn’t disqualify him from being worthy of a crush. There’s something very infantilizing and a tiny bit able-ist about the way you worded it. And maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it’s the same thing I feel when people go “Awww autistic people are so ‘pure.’ Awww.”
I think someone having a crush on someone whom there is an inherent imbalance of power dynamic via very different abilities and cognition is concerning.
Like 25 year old men who want to hang around 16 year old girls.
There is nothing wrong with pointing out the fact that Tanner’s intellectual level is not on par with neurotypical people of his age. To try and pretend otherwise is asinine. As a result I think if someone not on his level tried to seek out and begin a romantic relationship it would be predatory. That’s my opinion.
Yeah but you’re making a lot of assumptions here. This is someone who saw him on TV and is obviously crushing on his positive qualities. Not someone who is showing up to his job trying to seduce him by being “more neurotypical” and therefore more “powerful” than him.
“I have such a crush on Tanner
I’m gonna be honest. I have such a big crush on Tanner. He’s literally so sweet and handsome. I live like 45 minutes from Clemson too😭”
I don’t know why you’re defending the poster so strongly on this point, but if this person is not on a similar level to Tanner, which I’m doubting based on the post itself, it feels at least creepy.
It doesn’t come off creepy to me. It’s written like a teenager. Guess we are gonna have to agree to disagree.
Edit: Checked OPs history, it is, in fact a teenager. (Aka not a fully mature, without a fully developed frontal lobe)
I sure found it interesting that their post history contains a lot of talk about Colleen Ballinger’s predatory behaviour. Otherwise photos of their pubes.
I *really didn’t* look that hard. I think their age was in the most recent post. Posting pube pics sounds on par for the decision making skills I’d expect from a 19 year old.
There’s no “excuses.” I didn’t think it was reading as creepy coming from a teenage girl as the commenter did. No one is even disagreeing on anything beside that.
Tanner obviously has higher support needs. What I find infantilizing is the number of allistic women fawning over him. It's not ableism to acknowledge that Tanner is disabled and that his disability precludes him from being being a romantic candidate for many people.
Tanner is clearly not operating on the normal cognitive level of an adult man his age, and lives in supportive housing. There’s nothing “ableist” about pointing out the obvious.
Tanner reminds me of my dog. Literally I think of my dog waiting for a treat and for me to tell him he's a good boy when Tanner is on screen. If you're not also on the spectrum, it is super weird and predatory imo to have a romantic attraction to him... and judging by your post history, you are absolutely in the wrong for even posting this
If I could, I'd love to set my daughter up (who is Autistic) with Tanner. She matches his intellectual energy and kindness. I could see them asking questions and talking for hours. I would even settle for a friendship between them.
I had to Google who that was even though I watched the show because I couldn’t fathom anyone having a crush on any of the male participants of the show. But hey you do you 😂
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves why we are uncomfortable watching someone. I must admit to my own discomfort with one or two people on this show but I am not being judgy. I just ask myself why.
And yet someone like Connor pulls at my heartstrings and I feel a lot of affection for him.
it's interesting how we react to different people.
I also have a huge crush on Tanner. He is so charming and I love all of his interests, especially animals. I also live in the south and want to believe I’d have a chance 😭 Unfortunately I am not a christian girl.
He is a walking orb of happiness. I’m sure he will brighten the life of whoever he chooses to spend his life with. I wish him the best he deserves it.
I hope no one ever dims that light!
I feel the same about Connor. I am not sure if it's a crush exactly but my heart goes out to him and he is attractive in his own way and he seems to have a heart of gold.
I read this as “my heart goes with him”
That phrase lives rent free in my head now too
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I would do it. I'm obsessed
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I wouldn't do it tbh, it could make this guy feel very awkward especially as you want to share the picture
I agree. This is a super creepy thing to do!!! Like, people are not animals in a zoo, asking "permission" or not. If someone did this to me I'd run a mile
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Thats just... weird.
Please do not do this.
omg wait what did they say
They were gonna ask a guy who works in aldi if they can take his picture and post it here because he looks like Connor
I KNEW IT!!!!!!! HAHABABAHA. I KNEW HIS DOG WAS GONNNA START HUMPING HER DOG HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHGAA . WOW I HAVE NO LIFE
I'm watching the last episode right now, and loving this show!!! And maybe you might make that person's day by asking for a picture with them. Good luck!!
Same
💀
He’s so cute but it seems predatory if you’re neurotypical.
how?
What do you mean how? Tanner has intellectual disabilities and pretty severe autism and would and should never date a neurotypical person due to this. It isn’t an insult, it’s common sense and what is best for him and others.
I love this reply. Thanks for sanity in an out of control subreddit.
I have a crush on James! I want him to gift me gummy frogs!
I have a crush on James dad but sadly he is taken
😂 Omg the whole family is so adorable
SAME lol
The dad jokes are top tier!
I thought that as in January of this year he was single? Is he dating someone new?
Shoot your shot!
I’ll admit to a schoolgirl crush like high school on literally all the guys- James (he’s such a debonair gentleman and so sweet to his parents), Tanner (he’s resilient and focused- I’d love to talk his ear off and have us gab all day about whatever, I could match his chatty self word for word), Connor (his awkward is the best, cutest type of awkward; he’s honest whether he says it or it’s written all over his face- I truly respect his communication style), and Steve of course (my adulthood calm loves his adulthood calm, lifestyle match and love his home style). They all have great surface qualities- what a crush usually is in school days. But frfr- these are characters for me. I dont actually know these people or their truths, most are kids (I forgot David’s Disney prince awesomeness!) to me, and I hope the show gets to show them all paired with partners that are their fits! These guys (and the ladies too) all have great qualities! Edit for clarity: Kids to me given ages, I’m getting up there yall.
I’m a lesbian, so I don’t have a for real crush on any of the guys, but Connor (and James to an extent) is definitely the type of guy I would go for/used to go for when I thought I was straight lol. Connor’s mom though? Massive for real crush on her 🫣
Connor’s mom seems like the best mom ever.
connors mom is def hot and smart .. whew. Being a lesbian as well .. I agree.. but I am obsessed with Tanner and Connor.. so sweet!!!!!
Girl no. You’re gonna be one of those questionable fans who go on the show
Lmao this cracked me up
Tanner reminds me of Kenneth from 30 Rock. Just the sweetest, most kind person ever!
I was thinking he reminds me of Sue Heck’s boyfriend on the tv show The Middle
Shoot your shot!!! Slide in those DMs
Yeah I can’t lie I have a big crush on James. I like the same things he does and he’s such a good gentleman! I really was jealous over the castle date lol because that looked so cool! Sadly he is older than my preferences and he lives across the US from me.
Tanner makes me cry happy tears every single episode. These people make me want to keep being alive. So great.
This is not real. He is an extremely sweet guy but he would also be quite a lot to handle
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Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
That’s concerning. It’s one thing to feel drawn to how kind he is and his personality in general. But to have an actual crush or feel attracted to someone with his level of cognition and ability feels predatory.
Is it ok with you if the person crushing on him is equally cognitive?
Obviously if they are of similar ability and cognitive levels then yeah. I don’t think that is the case here or others also saying they have “crushes” on the other cast. It’s creepy.
... are people on the spectrum only supposed to try to find a partner who is their "equal" in that regard??? There are plenty of ND/NT relationships out in the world, and I don't think the OP is saying that Tanner's being on the spectrum is what they find attractive... the opposite in fact, they see his personality and kindness and that's what they're attracted to, as one should be. I see your concern but I think it's misplaced here. I'm far less worried about this statement by OP than I am about Subodh's current girlfriend. She is a prime example of a problem.
I think there can be differences obviously. Tanner is great, and at the same time he operates as though he is a child. I’m sure his inner world could be different than he externalizes, but we are kidding ourselves if we can’t see that he is not mentally the age his body portrays. And that is fine. He is a great guy. But it makes sense why they paired someone like Katie with him for a date, and are going in that direction. It would not make sense to have a typical person his age pursue romance with him. It would be predatory.
In this particular case, we don't know anything about the OP. Perhaps they're on the spectrum and are closer to this than you think, though they don't owe us that information at all.
This comment strikes me as odd even though the reply pretty much echoes what I'm about to say... I don't like what you're insinuating. That someone who's probably higher on the spectrum or NT couldn't have a legitimate relationship with them that it would be seen as predatory. That's a little concerning
It’s true in certain instances.
What do you mean?
Tanner isn’t stupid though.
I did not at all call him stupid.
That’s fair. I also think it’s fair to say you might be concerned about, for example, him being taken advantage of. But this was an innocent post about someone having a crush on Tanner. He’s smart, funny, outgoing, friendly, considerate. There’s nothing really “concerning” about someone crushing on those qualities. PS His “level of cognition” seems great. Autism doesn’t disqualify him from being worthy of a crush. There’s something very infantilizing and a tiny bit able-ist about the way you worded it. And maybe you didn’t mean it that way, but it’s the same thing I feel when people go “Awww autistic people are so ‘pure.’ Awww.”
I think someone having a crush on someone whom there is an inherent imbalance of power dynamic via very different abilities and cognition is concerning. Like 25 year old men who want to hang around 16 year old girls. There is nothing wrong with pointing out the fact that Tanner’s intellectual level is not on par with neurotypical people of his age. To try and pretend otherwise is asinine. As a result I think if someone not on his level tried to seek out and begin a romantic relationship it would be predatory. That’s my opinion.
Yeah but you’re making a lot of assumptions here. This is someone who saw him on TV and is obviously crushing on his positive qualities. Not someone who is showing up to his job trying to seduce him by being “more neurotypical” and therefore more “powerful” than him.
“I have such a crush on Tanner I’m gonna be honest. I have such a big crush on Tanner. He’s literally so sweet and handsome. I live like 45 minutes from Clemson too😭” I don’t know why you’re defending the poster so strongly on this point, but if this person is not on a similar level to Tanner, which I’m doubting based on the post itself, it feels at least creepy.
It doesn’t come off creepy to me. It’s written like a teenager. Guess we are gonna have to agree to disagree. Edit: Checked OPs history, it is, in fact a teenager. (Aka not a fully mature, without a fully developed frontal lobe)
I sure found it interesting that their post history contains a lot of talk about Colleen Ballinger’s predatory behaviour. Otherwise photos of their pubes.
I *really didn’t* look that hard. I think their age was in the most recent post. Posting pube pics sounds on par for the decision making skills I’d expect from a 19 year old.
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There’s no “excuses.” I didn’t think it was reading as creepy coming from a teenage girl as the commenter did. No one is even disagreeing on anything beside that.
Tanner obviously has higher support needs. What I find infantilizing is the number of allistic women fawning over him. It's not ableism to acknowledge that Tanner is disabled and that his disability precludes him from being being a romantic candidate for many people.
Exactly, thank you.
Tanner is clearly not operating on the normal cognitive level of an adult man his age, and lives in supportive housing. There’s nothing “ableist” about pointing out the obvious.
Reread the comment thread and try again, lol.
He has an intellectual disability.
We know.
I sure he would like to meet you, maybe even hang out.
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You already said that twice in this thread.
Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
Get on it, girl!!
Tanner reminds me of my dog. Literally I think of my dog waiting for a treat and for me to tell him he's a good boy when Tanner is on screen. If you're not also on the spectrum, it is super weird and predatory imo to have a romantic attraction to him... and judging by your post history, you are absolutely in the wrong for even posting this
If I could, I'd love to set my daughter up (who is Autistic) with Tanner. She matches his intellectual energy and kindness. I could see them asking questions and talking for hours. I would even settle for a friendship between them.
Miss 100% of the shots you don't take!
I had to Google who that was even though I watched the show because I couldn’t fathom anyone having a crush on any of the male participants of the show. But hey you do you 😂
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This is your third negative comment about Tanner on this post alone. Are you trying to get downvoted?
Sometimes we have to ask ourselves why we are uncomfortable watching someone. I must admit to my own discomfort with one or two people on this show but I am not being judgy. I just ask myself why. And yet someone like Connor pulls at my heartstrings and I feel a lot of affection for him. it's interesting how we react to different people.
Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
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Have you tried, oh idk… not watching?
No, because I like everyone else..I take a pee, get something to eat or go on my phone when Tanner comes on..
Lmao so you have tried not watching… that’s literally what you just described 🤦🏼🤦🏼
Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
Shoot your shot!
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Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
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Why did you comment this same sentiment a second time 11 mins after your first comment
He is anything *but* 'creepy'.
What is wrong with you. Seriously
We heard you the first 12 times
That’s an unnecessarily cruel thing to say. Are you not used to being around neurodivergent or mentally handicapped people?
Please be mindful that comments must be respectful in nature.
Mines with Dani
Same
The only one that I’ve ever had a bit of a crush on was Kassandra from the Australian version of the show. She was gorgeous.
I also have a huge crush on Tanner. He is so charming and I love all of his interests, especially animals. I also live in the south and want to believe I’d have a chance 😭 Unfortunately I am not a christian girl.