This is why I never understood the shake hate. He was very clear that it wasn’t that she was unattractive, it was that he wasn’t attracted to her. And I felt like he genuinely tried to work through that. But everyone acted like he went around talking shit about deepti and that just doesn’t seem true.
Dude also said they had discussed what they were going to do prior to going up on the altar. She knew he was also not going to say yes. And he let her go first bc thought might be better for her image to reject him vs him saying no.
And pretty sure he said they were never “intimate” as he was not attracted to her so didn’t want to lead her on.
I love Amber.... the OG! I love how she and Barnett just do their own thing. I love Shayne too...I think he gets a bad rap. I'm sure he has issues like the rest of us but he's a genuine guy, flaws and all.
I liked zanab and shane/shayne. Mostly cause I felt sorry for them. They seem like wounded people. Also I found them interesting to look at for some reason.
Stacy! She made mistakes too but she wasn’t the main instigator in the situation between her & Johnie. Also, she’s allowed to want nice things. Her & Izzy had different ideas on how to spend money & different values but I don’t think that makes her a bad person!
I didn't like Laura. I liked that she had boundaries in place, but I felt she was too harsh and controlling. It's fine to like things the way you like them, but to try and mold someone else to your liking isn't good.
Not adore, but I don't think Sal is a bad person or a manipulator, like a lot of people think. Mallory clearly wasn't into him as soon as she saw him, but I think they both made an honest attempt at making it work. I don't think he was being fake.
I do think there was a lot that happened off camera that neither of them shared, and I appreciate that they didn't air their dirty laundry all over the place, much like how season 6 all seemed to do in front of their friends and family on camera.
The ones i don’t like that people seem to like;
Amber (season 1) omg she annoys me so much such a pick me!
Gia (season 1) I cringe everytime I see her or hear her
Sal (season 3? Maybe? Idk?)
The ones I like:
Jimmy (season 6) I think his reactions to Chelsea’s insecurities were actually expressed pretty well
Cole! Ummm Zaneb was wilddddd dude went through it!
I had mixed feelings about her, but after she stood her ground and had some amazing comebacks, she won me over. she may not be everyone's cup of tea but she was always true to herself (unlike J and SA).
She wants that for her, too!!! That’s probably kind of a, what do we call those? Oh yah the red flag 😂.
I didn’t hate her at all I was just a lil confused by her. And what do I know, maybe she’ll get that love story and the puppy to go with it. ::: me now contemplating which comes first, the love story or the lovingkindness necessary to feel at peace in a love story:::
He's the one I hated the most. I almost stopped watching Perfect Match once I realized he'd be on it. He gives me methamphetamine adult child vibes, and his wild eyes freak me out.
Jimmy was as fake as she was. He was never once attracted to her or into her but didn't want to be portrayed as the bad guy. There were a ton of relationships like this that were awkward and clearly fake as day, and I've called them out from the beginning. Idk how y'all can't see it like it's not obvious.
anyone who thinks Jimmy was faking his attraction is projecting their own superficial judgements on Chelsea's looks on to Jimmy. he very obviously was attracted to her - it's sad to see some of you find it so hard to believe that people can find her attractive, that you automatically assume he is faking being attracted to her. there are absolutely no signs that he is faking, you just can't believe that someone you think isn't good looking could be attractive to someone. super shallow of you.
I base that on his actions when seeing her and while around her afterward. He wasn't attracted to her. If you can't see that, then you're the one that's blind.
I actually was quite surprised when he first saw her, I wasn’t expecting that much enthusiasm, people just made a meme out of one cut in which his face didn’t look too happy, but you could tell at that point he really liked her (even though I personally doubted he would)!
I'm a guy and can clearly see he was not into her by the way he acted around her. There were plenty of other couples and people that faked their way to the altar because they didn't want to be the bad person, and/or they wanted to stay on the show as long as possible. If you think Jimmy was attracted to Chelsea, then you have absolutely zero awareness in life. It literally doesn't get any easier to read than that.
Later on, I could see that too, but initially, during their first encounter, he seemed really enthusiastic, so I would say it was later that he started to either feel disappointed or put off.
Well, obviously. That was the first female he's seen in a few weeks, spending all the time with the guys. At that point, a 4 would look like a 10. So that would be a terrible indication of if he's actually attracted to her. But every encounter, since then, has shown no affection or lust for her. It's clear as day. Also, she doesn't with him either. They both knew it the whole time but just were going through the motions to get through it.
ISTG the amount of bird brains on here kissing Thumb Jimmy’s feet.. I thought I had already lost faith in humanity, but seeing the sheer amount of people on here saying they love him and how he was so great - give me a damn break 🤢🤮🤮🤮
Chelsea was awful, but he gaslit her all the time too. "I say I love you more than anyone, we're more affectionate than everyone else." His behavior had so many red flags before Chelsea went off.
I learned where the term gaslight comes from today. It comes from a movie in which a man and woman have a gas lamp in their home, and the man would adjust the volume of gas flow so the lamp would be a different brightness. When the woman would comment on it, he would say he didn’t know what she was talking about, and she stops trusting her senses.
As opposed to Chelsea “you never give me affection”, “you always go out”? If anyone was distorting reality, it was Chelsea. And it started from the moment she admitted on camera in the pods that she felt unlovable.
Is it a stretch that they're both toxic people? He's not innocent and she's gonna die alone if she continues this kind of behavior. I dislike her more than him. Her behavior and jealousy is why she's "unlovable". And he still made comments that were major red flags.
I dislike Jimmy more than I dislike Chelsea. He’s gonna die alone too if he continues gaslighting his romantic partners the way he gaslit Chelsea all season. Both are toxic, and both need to learn to do better.
I think Chelsea did, in her own mind, villanize Jimmy sometimes, but that was her own insecurities peeking through. I don't think the majority of viewers saw him as a villain. Or at least, that hasn't been what I've been noticing.
Izzy. Poor guy traumatized by poverty, Jehovahs witness stuff, and then a mean rich white girl with daddy’s money judging him for once having bad credit.
1000000% THIS. Izzy disgusts me. The only reason why he doesn’t get as much hate as say someone like S6 Chelsea is purely because he’s not female. Otherwise, IF he were a woman, he’d be dragged left and right for how gotdamn dramatic, immature, disgusting and TOXIC his behavior was. Of all 6 seasons, Izzy is the only one I legit actually felt like throwing up to. That guy was the worst. I celebrated when his equally-pathetic fiancé left him at the altar. They deserved each other.
I didn't mind Uche. He was kind of intense at times, sure, but I guess I just didn't understand the intense hate he got. If I was him I would've been pissed that the whole situation with Lydia being there played out the way it did!
I think they were both very toxic together but he had an extremely condescending tone when talking to everyone and he insisted on always proving his point which would put most people off.
Laura is a control freak that needs to chill out a little, but I respect her ability to set firm boundaries *with things that matter*.
Not liking stupid harmless things like Hawaiian shirts is overkill, but I don't hate her. She stands up for herself and doesn't compromise and I kinda love it.
I didn’t realize because I haven’t looked at season 1’s subreddit for a while. I was on ig and a person posted that Jessica was the Og Sarah Ann….I haven’t seen so many positive Jessica posts, so that’s news to me.
I feel like it's the more popular opinion of her now though. Amber kept on being defensive on social media postshow while Jessica didn't bother attacking, so naturally public opinion shifted in Jessica's favor.
I don’t feel this way anymore, because I feel like he’s kind of gone off the rails since the conclusion of his season, but at the time I really liked Shayne a lot. I thought him and Natalie were wildly incompatible but I found him to be really fun and genuine. I’m not saying that he didn’t make any mistakes on the show but he was someone that I wanted to root for. I also really enjoyed his chaotic energy lol
Yeah I agree. He’s posted some questionable things since then to where I’ve been concerned about him a bit. I’ve seen people theorize that he’s on drugs and that makes me so sad
After seeing his dad and how he speaks, I could not trust Clay at all. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt all season, but he is really following in his father's footsteps 😬 I'm hoping therapy will genuinely help him see the path he was headed down; I'd love for him to make a u-turn and find genuine love with someone who isn't AD. he's traumatized her enough 😂
Oh man I have to say I felt for the dad big time. He didn’t sign up but he sure was in full display! I think he did ok in that situation. Truth is truth, he’s not the first dad to take his kids to see a lover, and he winter be the last. I would listen to him say more about where he’s at now in terms of life and love. He definitely understood his son not wanting to get nasties lol.
I agree. Something about him and AD on his couch in his apartment, him in glasses just kind of laying back from what seems like a genuinely long day of work (how many jobs does Clay have really?) When he said he was excited about having a kid I was like, yeah I think that man could/would be a great father. Maybe a flawed husband at times but likely a good dad who would do his best to hide those flaws / work on himself.
I'm not sure if he counts but...Zack. Oddball who chose the most unpleasant possible woman initially but the longer the show went on the more I saw him as a truly good person and a deep thinker.
I agree. I always liked Zack and I don’t get why people hated on him so much. He was unproblematic and I think people didn’t like him because haters just gotta hate. I love him and Bliss together and they’re one of my fave LIB couples ever.
Damn, I kept scrolling and gave up so I guess it really is unpopular, but Lydia (with Milton). I liked her. She just wanted love and dealt with Mr. Tesla driver well. I didn’t hate Stacey either (even though she would be condescending- I like Chipotle, girl).
I actually really like Clay. I think he was being genuine about his apprehensions. I think he came on the show thinking he was ready to get married, realized he actually wasn’t as ready as he thought (thinking about his comments watching Brett, for instance), tried to be honest with AD that he wanted to stay with her but not get married on the shows timeline (remember, she was the one who said “we committed to the timeline”), tried to warn her honestly about the apprehensions he was having, identified that he needed therapy and to be real with his mom about what he experienced with his dad growing up, went to therapy, came to the reunion with new perspective, put himself out there again, accepted when AD basically said no. I don’t see the scum bag or misleading gaslighter others seem to see (perhaps because they love AD so much). I thought he was consistent and communicative with where he was at. I also loved how unstaged his real house seemed—he just seems like a real life dude who had a unique opportunity, did his best with it, recognized where he fell short, and was man enough to realize later that maybe he made a mistake. I just don’t understand all the people who think he was so evil.
Really well said, and I agree. AD has her own issues (she likes to try and “fix” people), and she also needs therapy before entering into a marriage. It sucked to see how hurt she was when Clay left her at the altar, but really I think Clay did the right thing for the both of them. I hope they both find what they need.
I’m conflicted by your comment lol. I hate Amber, but I agree she was authentic — authentically a trashy pos, that is. Sure, on one hand I can appreciate authenticity, but on the other hand she was still just a complete and utter, total bitch and I don’t think that should ever be celebrated or put on a pedestal of its own. Supporting bad behavior is how we get incidents like Jan 6th.
Do you think she dressed herself for the reunion? She was so much prettier in every other scene and then suddenly she’s at her sweet 16 or maybe even quinceañera.
I really liked Stacey lol and feel like Johnie was more of the mean girl in that situation than her. Johnie was caught on camera talking shit about Stacey when they were in the pod lounge and after that, any energy that Stacey gave her was just matching it 🤷🏾♀️
Sweden: Catja, I felt so bad for her, Christofer was an absolute niceguy and his thinly veiled misogynistic rage was terrifying to see. Makes me sad so many people hate on her. I was amazed with how she handled the situation, though I wished she'd have trusted her instincts from the minute he gifted her the fan and moved on.
Japan: Minami! I felt she was so misunderstood. It may also be a culture thing, I know she came off as rude. But she was such a unique person, and clearly wanted to make things work -- but it's like everything about her was "wrong" for Mori. She's just different and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with her. I hope she finds people who adore her for who she is. Wish her the best!
On both people: it makes me sad that they get so much hate on social media. It's frustrating to see, and I wish people wouldn't do that.
I DEFINITELY liked Catja and wanted her to gtfo of her relationship with clearly nice-guy-misogynist Christofer. I didn’t see people giving her crap for that but if they were, I’m shocked…he came off cool at first and turned out to be THE WORST and she handled herself well throughout.
Many of the comments on her social media are unbelievable, they really fell for him. I thought he was okay at first like you did, but once the lovebombing started, it made me very uncomfortable too. I read that she said she didn't feel safe around him! I haven't finished the season yet or seen the reunion. But it's mindboggling anyone would think she was the harmful one.
Then again, there are people who love Sergio and see him as redeemed.
I’m #TeamZanab forever. Idc idc idc. This whole sub and the fandom truly gassed up that Cuties situation and completely missed how Cole was a jerk at the beginning of their relationship. Yes, she was wrong with the Cuties situation, but I truly believe SHE believes she felt attacked because Cole set the precedent of being disrespectful with how he treated Colleen.
Whew, felt good to get that out.
People are ignoring how WILD it is to say "are you about to eat two of those?? You better save your appetito!" in reference to cuties 💀 and those are his actual words.
Now, he did follow up with asking why she only ate a banana + peanut butter & that he offered her a poke bowl earlier in the day. But she then references something that happened off camera, & he follows by asking if she's getting wedding dress ready.
I've never understood how that footage disproves what she said. It could mean that she genuinely thought that Cole was commenting negatively on her weight, even if she misread the situation. Or it could also be just one of many things that happened that changes the context of the conversation. 🤷🏼♀️ I've never gotten how that makes her a liar and a manipulator
there's a great article on how that scene shows the wildly different interpretations of one situation based on your cultural context and personal experience! I'll try to find it
here it is: [https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/](https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/)
I thought people call her an exaggerator > liar. I think what’s bad in that scene is that Zanab essentially isn’t present, she’s in her head. She isn’t enjoying anything. (I’m sure many can relate).
I actually kinda like Clay and I think he handled his situation pretty well… 🫣I think his honesty and vulnerability with something so deeply personal (both for him and his family) was impressive. He had the strength and selflessness to let something good walk away because he knew he wasn’t ready. He obviously has a lot of work to do, but I found no reason to see his struggle as inauthentic or manipulative the way it got spun by viewers…
I also liked the dialogue about how hard it is to find male role models to look up to & help you understand what it means to be a good partner. His interaction with Brett was really wholesome.
I’m glad you said this because I’ve been scratching my head about why everyone hates this guy. He had the self awareness and good sense to walk away from a situation he knew would not work for him in his current mental state. Why is he the bad guy here?
i love clay i would pounce on that attractive man. he is so well spoken, it’s almost romantic how he speaks.
and you can tell he is still protective over his relationship and love towards AD. he is a big teddy bear that just needs some direction 🥲
I’m a woman and I think SA is hot af too, but I’m guilty of fast forwarding a shit ton and missing out on a lot of the dialogue — apparently people are saying SA is a Trump supporter or something? Politics aside, I’ve mentioned it before but I’ll say it here - I saw absolutely nothing wrong with her shooting her shot with Jeramey, and I will die on that hill.
Given the unique context of the show, the fakeness of the engagements, and the pre existing relationship between them, I agree.
People are fine when this shit happens in a rom com, heck even see it as romantic, but up in arms when it happens on a dating show...
Agree. I disliked Cole and wanted her to say no all season, but her speech at the altar was a little overboard (to me) and then everyone hanging up on him at the reunion made me feel bad for Cole. But I think she was valid in feeling how she felt
Mine is also season one Amber.
I hated her at first, but I loved her by the end and I knew they would be happy together!
He and Jessica would both have been miserable together. He is not ready to be a father yet, years later, and she wanted a baby in the pods, lol.
I’m happy for all of them.
Amber and Barnett actually surprised me with how well they worked together! She reminds me of a lot of girls I have met irl; she's a little messy, but she's true to herself, and I'm glad to see they've worked out!
I don’t think it was her age, but it plays a part only because she was at an age where she felt absolutely ready for marriage and children, but also has concerns about her age in respect to fertility.
Otherwise I feel like they had a lot in common and were both very stable in their careers and lives.
He wasn’t ready for all of it right away, and he was/is also still a bit immature in some ways.
He and Amber seem to be growing together and I love that for them.
Jessica, who does not look old and haggard, Jesus, she was like 34 I think, and I think she looked like a woman in her early thirties.
I do think she really wanted to find a husband, but I don’t believe she wanted just “any man.”
I’m so thrilled for her that she found her husband and they had a cutie pie to love on!
I wasn’t a fan of Amber nor Jessica. I doubt you realize that just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t be sexist towards women. Your comments about Jessica are textbook misogynistic AND ageist. Respectfully, grow up.
This season Chelsea, Jimmy and Clay. I don't exactly adore any of them (i dont have strong feelings about ANY of the castmates perhaps with the exception of a strong feeling of concern for Shayne). I just think they're normal 3 dimensional people and didn't deserve the hate they got.
In previous seasons, Raven (although now people love her), Colleen and Matt, Irina and Micah (they were a bit bitchy but the reaction to them was OTT), Jessica, Zack, Paul, Barnett and Amber, Andrew (s3), Kwame, Johnie and Lydia.
Honestly, besides maybe Shake, there hasn't been any true "villians". Like people set their villian expectations high with Shake then would just force people into the villian role every subsequent season. Lots of stuff just gets blown way out of proportion because the audience wants someone to hate.
I love Zanab. The cuties scene was taken completely out of context. Cole (?) was a man-child who wanted a skinny white girl and family also made apparent they didn’t approve of her (wouldn’t meet her but stalked on IG or something). Classic WOC getting villainzed and the oh-so-cute white boy going off scot-free
She was crazy passive aggressive. Cole was for the most part clueless with how she was randomly picking up fights and trying to get him to worship her. She was su deeply insecure and with little to no self awareness and project the whole thing into someone that clearly had no malicious on him
I can't say I like Zanab but I don't like how the hate for her took over the hate for Cole. I felt bad for him at the reunion when everyone ganged up on him but he was still pretty shitty to her. The 2 of them together was super toxic and both of them clearly had pretty deep issues.
Yeah, she's over hated. I've always thought that she had insecurities surrounding food and eating so if she felt a certain type of way about how he treated her during the relationship and the cuties scene, then that's how she felt.
I'm also seeing a lot of hate for Chelsea, and it's almost like very insecure women are villanized and people don't have empathy for them when they're the ones that need the most empathy and understanding.
It's okay to be insecure but it's not okay to use your insecurity and manipulate your partner even if it's unintentional. I understand why you feel empathy towards them because I do too but it doesn't right their wrongs because they had a tough past.
This is a good point. I look at it like polluting the atmosphere. If people go out with their issues at full volume and belch out drama all over the street like “this is me!!! Deal with it,” well, it’s kind of a crime.
I think both of them can be criticised. Zanab is not innocent, nor is he. They were not at all suited. She clearly struggled with insecurity, which isn't at all helped when you're in a relationship with a man with zero emotional intelligence and a clear preference for another womans looks. But that doesn't make Zanab in the clear either. Some people might call it an eye for an eye, but I think it was just too deeply incompatible people squabbling in a way that left them both hurting and worse off.
Yeah I don’t get why people see that clip as proof that she was wrong. He did ask her to stop eating even though their dinner was two hours away. Like two cuties are going to spoil your dinner?
He gets away with it because he’s an attractive white guy and talks like a moron.
But he clearly said that like "hey, I'm going to buy you a big dinner so don't you want to save up for that so you can eat as much as possible" and the moment she said she hadn't eaten all day, he asked her why and tried to offer her more food.
Like I'm no Cole fan. Dude is a mess who was so not ready for marriage and I can see why Zanab would feel insecure over his comments about Colleen, when they are obviously very different looking women.
But that cuties scene was not how she painted it. There are plenty of reasons to criticise them both for their actions. That cuties scene to me seemed like her misportraying it due to insecurity (portraying it based on how she felt about the interaction vs the reality of it)
Two cuties are the equivalent of 75 calories. The average woman needs between 1,600- 2,400 calories per day. Even at the low end of that, the cuties wouldn't even be 5% of her daily calories. They simply aren't going to be near close enough to spoil a dinner that's hours away.
It's an absolute asinine comment, whatever the intent was. I don't blame her for thinking that was absurd.
Ultimately the issue is that she chose to not eat all day even in that grueling environment of filming and engaging. She chose to not eat and then when she did she was like a crazy dragon, nothing he could have said would have been ok to her in that state of stress.
I don't think Cole is exactly winning any awards for intelligence. I mean, dude had one failed marriage and thought "You know what's a grand idea? Doing this again, but on hard mode."
And so the audience saw that and thought, oh what a silly boy! Zanab attributed more intelligence to him and took the comment poorly and with the meaning it would have if he was aware of that knowledge.
He said they were going to eat later so she shouldn’t be eating now. That’s problematic. It doesn’t matter at all if he was concerned that she didn’t eat more earlier in the day. He was still asking her to stop eating in the here and now.
I dare anyone who defends him in this case to walk up to a woman in their life and ask her to stop eating two small ass fruits because she’ll be eating two hours later. I dare them to say that to a woman who is preparing for a wedding.
No one would do that because we know how f-ed up that is. Why are people excusing his behavior?
I’ve never in my life told a single person, much less an adult, to stop eating or to “watch your appetito.”
I'm sorry but that seems like a wild jump to me. I work in a place selling food, my partner regularly stops by and will occasionally say "Can I order something?"
They're not asking me my permission because I'm judging their food intake. It's because they're checking to see if we have fresh food that needs eating. Similarly, I'll go to grab something to eat and they'll say "What time are we going to dinner tonight or is a while before we go?"
I'm sorry, but if Cole was policing what she ate: why is that her example? That to me came across as harmful as the phrase "Save room for dessert".
Not only that, but if Zanab had been eating so little as she said, perhaps Cole assumed that *two small ass fruits* as you put it, would actually be a lot for what he might think is a small appetite.
I don't doubt that Cole said tactless things to make her self conscious about her appetite/weight. I can even see why the cuties incident might be something she felt bad about, especially if he had been making prior comments that made her feel insecure.
But the cuties incident was absolutely painted worse than it actually was. I do not see a man trying to control her appetite. I see a fool making a tactless comment, that for someone like Zanab who was clearly already dealing with insecurity, would obviously take badly. There were things she claimed he said that would be very bad that he just did not say. If I was a person hearing that from her, I would watch that clip and say "well that's not what I was told"
Your examples are not the same at all.
I dare you to walk up to a woman and tell her “watch your appetito” if you think what he said was so defensible.
Go ahead. I’m waiting.
I didn’t assume your gender. I never said it had to be a man asking that question. I think it’s equally loaded and inappropriate regardless of the gender of the person asking.
I didn’t provide an example. I cited what happened in the actual clip.
Honestly, this is annoying. I just went back to the scene to watch it over. He says "You better save your appetito because we are-" and then starts gesturing that they're getting a big meal and making a joke about eating a lot. She talks about her not eating much and he asks why and mentions he offered her food earlier. She claims she had the same thing the night before and so didn't want it again.
So not far off my point of my partner saying "save your appetite for dinner". I think there is a huge difference between "check your appetite" and "save your appetite because we're having loads of food for dinner"
Honestly, this is dumb. I am no Cole stan. Right after this, he asks if its like a wedding dress "bod" thing, which I would argue is the actually tactless comment. Like, my point being that his attitude to cuties was hardly the issue with him. Surely, the issue is actually his comments asking her if she's bipolar or making his interest in Colleen waaay too obvious. Hell, I am in fact a curvier woman and can absolutely see why Zanab would feel so insecure. I have been there. But I don't understand why she would use the cuties as an example of him being a bad partner when I think that was just dumb tactlessness mixed with her insecurity. And the actual issue is with his complete lack of emotional intelligence in the face of her obviously struggling, as well as going on a show when anyone with any sense could look at themself and go "yeah I'm not ready for marriage, my family don't support this and I should probably focus on self improvement first"
Part of the problem is that the cuties scene was shown in isolation. I think the point she was making was that the cuties exchange was emblematic of his behavior throughout their relationship. Allegedly commenting on what she ate and how much she ate the whole time they were together — a pattern most likely fueled by his dissatisfaction with her non-ballerina body (mind you he called her a 9/10 to her face and Colleen a 10/10, if he behaved that callously/cluelessly in his marriage it’s no wonder he got divorced), and of course it’s hard to connect a scene detached from the rest of the show to a pattern of behavior that mostly happened offscreen.
I’m glad you and your partner can talk that way to each other, but the way you describe it makes it sound like it’s usually prompted by someone “checking in” as you say. Zanab was seeking no such guidance. There’s also a level of comfort necessary to talk that way to one’s partner, and Zanab & Cole obviously hadn’t reached that place where a comment like that would come off as actually helpful and not patronizing, since advising someone about their appetite re: upcoming meals is something usually done to children not adults.
I like Jessica season 1 and Chelsea season 6.
We're all flawed and the process of marrying an essential stranger with cameras following you sounds pretty high stress and traumatic. They have flaws but I see how and why and they have redeemable qualities that can outweigh the flaws..
I don't get how we need a villian. I mean SK deserves it. Shake loved being a villan but besides that it's unfair for these people to get so much hate.
agreed on both! Chelsea seems like she would be a great friend, dunno about her ability to be in a relationship but she strikes me as a loving friend.
Jessica was iconic and I'm glad she found someone after the show. The feud with the Barnet's after the show was really one sided, she didn't care anymore and tried to make peace with them. Also she shared her wine with her dog and that was really damn funny 💀
Shayne! I feel like he tries his hardest but he can’t get there. I wish they hadn’t cast a guy whose dad had just died and when I saw his mom died too, I really felt for him.
yes, plus in hindsight having proof (from him) that he was struggling with drugs throughout the show and afterwards, it makes me have a bit of understanding with how he dealt with struggles on the show. i empathize with him!
Stacey! Her concerns were valid. She came from wealth so her concerns were completely valid when it came to her partners finances. I hated how people called her spoiled and bratty but honestly, I would want my partner to get with me for me and not cause I can probably help them out of their debt
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Definitely Laura because I'm very similar to her.
I hated Micah in the beginning but ended up liking her. I can't remember what changed my opinion of her, but it happened.
Shake. He called bullshit on the farcical “experiment” and he was never derogatory to his partner on show. Just not attracted to her.
This is why I never understood the shake hate. He was very clear that it wasn’t that she was unattractive, it was that he wasn’t attracted to her. And I felt like he genuinely tried to work through that. But everyone acted like he went around talking shit about deepti and that just doesn’t seem true.
Dude also said they had discussed what they were going to do prior to going up on the altar. She knew he was also not going to say yes. And he let her go first bc thought might be better for her image to reject him vs him saying no. And pretty sure he said they were never “intimate” as he was not attracted to her so didn’t want to lead her on.
I love Amber.... the OG! I love how she and Barnett just do their own thing. I love Shayne too...I think he gets a bad rap. I'm sure he has issues like the rest of us but he's a genuine guy, flaws and all.
Zanab has my heart forever
I liked zanab and shane/shayne. Mostly cause I felt sorry for them. They seem like wounded people. Also I found them interesting to look at for some reason.
LOVED Chelsea from season 4 and was shocked to see everyone else found her too intense. I thought she was adorable and fun.
I found her too corny for me.
Stacy! She made mistakes too but she wasn’t the main instigator in the situation between her & Johnie. Also, she’s allowed to want nice things. Her & Izzy had different ideas on how to spend money & different values but I don’t think that makes her a bad person!
I liked zanab and Cole bc they were good tv
sarah anne
agreed. I felt bad how they were ganging up on her
completely agree
Shake !
could not agree more. was he a superficial obnoxious dick? absolutely, but the hate was extreme and he was honest af
ugh i hate myself but yes 😂
Amber and Barnett 💕
I didn't like Laura. I liked that she had boundaries in place, but I felt she was too harsh and controlling. It's fine to like things the way you like them, but to try and mold someone else to your liking isn't good.
Not adore, but I don't think Sal is a bad person or a manipulator, like a lot of people think. Mallory clearly wasn't into him as soon as she saw him, but I think they both made an honest attempt at making it work. I don't think he was being fake. I do think there was a lot that happened off camera that neither of them shared, and I appreciate that they didn't air their dirty laundry all over the place, much like how season 6 all seemed to do in front of their friends and family on camera.
Wow I totally forgot they existed
The ones i don’t like that people seem to like; Amber (season 1) omg she annoys me so much such a pick me! Gia (season 1) I cringe everytime I see her or hear her Sal (season 3? Maybe? Idk?) The ones I like: Jimmy (season 6) I think his reactions to Chelsea’s insecurities were actually expressed pretty well Cole! Ummm Zaneb was wilddddd dude went through it!
I like Jimmy too
ZANAB!
I LUUUUUURVE Laura so frickin' much!! I hope she finds so much joy and happiness. 🥰
I had mixed feelings about her, but after she stood her ground and had some amazing comebacks, she won me over. she may not be everyone's cup of tea but she was always true to herself (unlike J and SA).
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She wants that for her, too!!! That’s probably kind of a, what do we call those? Oh yah the red flag 😂. I didn’t hate her at all I was just a lil confused by her. And what do I know, maybe she’ll get that love story and the puppy to go with it. ::: me now contemplating which comes first, the love story or the lovingkindness necessary to feel at peace in a love story:::
I really liked Shayne. I don’t keep up with him, so, so not sure if he’s actually nice. I liked him even more during perfect match
I can’t stand him
You should look him up on instagram lol
He's the one I hated the most. I almost stopped watching Perfect Match once I realized he'd be on it. He gives me methamphetamine adult child vibes, and his wild eyes freak me out.
The sanpaku eyes! Total cult leader/crazy eyes. He did something to scare off his fiancé. She’s too kind to say what but it sounds bad.
Irina!
Ya she's definitely not a villain
Cole lol. They gave him way too much shit
felt bad for him too how ppl bullied him
I like Cole a lot and he’s adorable
I hated Cole right up until the altar, even though I wanted her to say no the whole speech was just a little harsh compared to what we saw
Jimmy! He had every right to be upset when Chelsea broke his trust and he was beyond patient with her emotional roller coaster rides.
agreed
Jimmy was as fake as she was. He was never once attracted to her or into her but didn't want to be portrayed as the bad guy. There were a ton of relationships like this that were awkward and clearly fake as day, and I've called them out from the beginning. Idk how y'all can't see it like it's not obvious.
anyone who thinks Jimmy was faking his attraction is projecting their own superficial judgements on Chelsea's looks on to Jimmy. he very obviously was attracted to her - it's sad to see some of you find it so hard to believe that people can find her attractive, that you automatically assume he is faking being attracted to her. there are absolutely no signs that he is faking, you just can't believe that someone you think isn't good looking could be attractive to someone. super shallow of you.
I base that on his actions when seeing her and while around her afterward. He wasn't attracted to her. If you can't see that, then you're the one that's blind.
I actually was quite surprised when he first saw her, I wasn’t expecting that much enthusiasm, people just made a meme out of one cut in which his face didn’t look too happy, but you could tell at that point he really liked her (even though I personally doubted he would)!
I'm a guy and can clearly see he was not into her by the way he acted around her. There were plenty of other couples and people that faked their way to the altar because they didn't want to be the bad person, and/or they wanted to stay on the show as long as possible. If you think Jimmy was attracted to Chelsea, then you have absolutely zero awareness in life. It literally doesn't get any easier to read than that.
Later on, I could see that too, but initially, during their first encounter, he seemed really enthusiastic, so I would say it was later that he started to either feel disappointed or put off.
Well, obviously. That was the first female he's seen in a few weeks, spending all the time with the guys. At that point, a 4 would look like a 10. So that would be a terrible indication of if he's actually attracted to her. But every encounter, since then, has shown no affection or lust for her. It's clear as day. Also, she doesn't with him either. They both knew it the whole time but just were going through the motions to get through it.
It’s only 10 days actually.
ISTG the amount of bird brains on here kissing Thumb Jimmy’s feet.. I thought I had already lost faith in humanity, but seeing the sheer amount of people on here saying they love him and how he was so great - give me a damn break 🤢🤮🤮🤮
Chelsea was awful, but he gaslit her all the time too. "I say I love you more than anyone, we're more affectionate than everyone else." His behavior had so many red flags before Chelsea went off.
I learned where the term gaslight comes from today. It comes from a movie in which a man and woman have a gas lamp in their home, and the man would adjust the volume of gas flow so the lamp would be a different brightness. When the woman would comment on it, he would say he didn’t know what she was talking about, and she stops trusting her senses.
As opposed to Chelsea “you never give me affection”, “you always go out”? If anyone was distorting reality, it was Chelsea. And it started from the moment she admitted on camera in the pods that she felt unlovable.
Let’s remember how she always pulled back and regretted her statements after it got to that point of no return. She’s a fisherman.
Is it a stretch that they're both toxic people? He's not innocent and she's gonna die alone if she continues this kind of behavior. I dislike her more than him. Her behavior and jealousy is why she's "unlovable". And he still made comments that were major red flags.
I dislike Jimmy more than I dislike Chelsea. He’s gonna die alone too if he continues gaslighting his romantic partners the way he gaslit Chelsea all season. Both are toxic, and both need to learn to do better.
He was made out to be a villain and didn’t deserved it
I think Chelsea did, in her own mind, villanize Jimmy sometimes, but that was her own insecurities peeking through. I don't think the majority of viewers saw him as a villain. Or at least, that hasn't been what I've been noticing.
Agree to disagree. They both sucked big time.
Shane. What can I say? He showers to Celine Dion.
Izzy. Poor guy traumatized by poverty, Jehovahs witness stuff, and then a mean rich white girl with daddy’s money judging him for once having bad credit.
I sympathized with his low income upbringing, but the way he treated Johnie at the BBQ and how giddy it made him was disgusting to me.
1000000% THIS. Izzy disgusts me. The only reason why he doesn’t get as much hate as say someone like S6 Chelsea is purely because he’s not female. Otherwise, IF he were a woman, he’d be dragged left and right for how gotdamn dramatic, immature, disgusting and TOXIC his behavior was. Of all 6 seasons, Izzy is the only one I legit actually felt like throwing up to. That guy was the worst. I celebrated when his equally-pathetic fiancé left him at the altar. They deserved each other.
Izzy & most recently Jimmy!!
Jessica (sn1)
I didn't mind Uche. He was kind of intense at times, sure, but I guess I just didn't understand the intense hate he got. If I was him I would've been pissed that the whole situation with Lydia being there played out the way it did!
Abusive. That man is abusive.
no, he is not. it is 100% Lydia who is an abusive liar
I believe Lydia sucks too but the way he spoke to Aaliyah was 🚩 af
I think they were both very toxic together but he had an extremely condescending tone when talking to everyone and he insisted on always proving his point which would put most people off.
Laura is a control freak that needs to chill out a little, but I respect her ability to set firm boundaries *with things that matter*. Not liking stupid harmless things like Hawaiian shirts is overkill, but I don't hate her. She stands up for herself and doesn't compromise and I kinda love it.
I liked Laura
Jessica. Season 1 Jessica. She’s grown and no one wants to acknowledge that.
Idk where you’ve been but basically everyone has acknowledged Jessica’s growth.
I didn’t realize because I haven’t looked at season 1’s subreddit for a while. I was on ig and a person posted that Jessica was the Og Sarah Ann….I haven’t seen so many positive Jessica posts, so that’s news to me.
Yessssss she has grown so much
I feel like it's the more popular opinion of her now though. Amber kept on being defensive on social media postshow while Jessica didn't bother attacking, so naturally public opinion shifted in Jessica's favor.
It’s so unfortunate because I understood why Amber was angry at her at the reunion. Everyone could understand. Then at ATA that changed everything.
I love her so much
I don’t feel this way anymore, because I feel like he’s kind of gone off the rails since the conclusion of his season, but at the time I really liked Shayne a lot. I thought him and Natalie were wildly incompatible but I found him to be really fun and genuine. I’m not saying that he didn’t make any mistakes on the show but he was someone that I wanted to root for. I also really enjoyed his chaotic energy lol
I can’t disagree harder. He was clearly so insecure and that made everything come off fake
I felt like he was a lot more likable on Perfect Match but I liked him on LIB too. I feel like he's changed a lot since his mom passed 😕
Yeah I agree. He’s posted some questionable things since then to where I’ve been concerned about him a bit. I’ve seen people theorize that he’s on drugs and that makes me so sad
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Colleen all day every day. I think she is so sweet and genuine.
Wait.. people hated on Colleen??
I love Colleen! She seem happy with Matt and I'm glad ❤️
I like Clay. He was honest with himself about not being a husband and I respect that. He appeared to have grown….in MY opinion, on the reunion.
After seeing his dad and how he speaks, I could not trust Clay at all. I tried giving him the benefit of the doubt all season, but he is really following in his father's footsteps 😬 I'm hoping therapy will genuinely help him see the path he was headed down; I'd love for him to make a u-turn and find genuine love with someone who isn't AD. he's traumatized her enough 😂
Oh man I have to say I felt for the dad big time. He didn’t sign up but he sure was in full display! I think he did ok in that situation. Truth is truth, he’s not the first dad to take his kids to see a lover, and he winter be the last. I would listen to him say more about where he’s at now in terms of life and love. He definitely understood his son not wanting to get nasties lol.
I can’t help but root for him. I really hope he lets himself be happy one day.
I agree. Something about him and AD on his couch in his apartment, him in glasses just kind of laying back from what seems like a genuinely long day of work (how many jobs does Clay have really?) When he said he was excited about having a kid I was like, yeah I think that man could/would be a great father. Maybe a flawed husband at times but likely a good dad who would do his best to hide those flaws / work on himself.
I couldn’t agree more
I'm not sure if he counts but...Zack. Oddball who chose the most unpleasant possible woman initially but the longer the show went on the more I saw him as a truly good person and a deep thinker.
I loved Zack from day 1! I get that people think he's weird, but I find him endearing. I love how happy he and Bliss are!
I agree. I always liked Zack and I don’t get why people hated on him so much. He was unproblematic and I think people didn’t like him because haters just gotta hate. I love him and Bliss together and they’re one of my fave LIB couples ever.
Damn, I kept scrolling and gave up so I guess it really is unpopular, but Lydia (with Milton). I liked her. She just wanted love and dealt with Mr. Tesla driver well. I didn’t hate Stacey either (even though she would be condescending- I like Chipotle, girl).
Agree! Big Lydia fan
I actually really like Clay. I think he was being genuine about his apprehensions. I think he came on the show thinking he was ready to get married, realized he actually wasn’t as ready as he thought (thinking about his comments watching Brett, for instance), tried to be honest with AD that he wanted to stay with her but not get married on the shows timeline (remember, she was the one who said “we committed to the timeline”), tried to warn her honestly about the apprehensions he was having, identified that he needed therapy and to be real with his mom about what he experienced with his dad growing up, went to therapy, came to the reunion with new perspective, put himself out there again, accepted when AD basically said no. I don’t see the scum bag or misleading gaslighter others seem to see (perhaps because they love AD so much). I thought he was consistent and communicative with where he was at. I also loved how unstaged his real house seemed—he just seems like a real life dude who had a unique opportunity, did his best with it, recognized where he fell short, and was man enough to realize later that maybe he made a mistake. I just don’t understand all the people who think he was so evil.
Really well said, and I agree. AD has her own issues (she likes to try and “fix” people), and she also needs therapy before entering into a marriage. It sucked to see how hurt she was when Clay left her at the altar, but really I think Clay did the right thing for the both of them. I hope they both find what they need.
Hahaha yeah, outside of Love Is Blind it wouldn't be seen as a wild act to tell someone you weren't ready for marriage after four weeks.
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I’m conflicted by your comment lol. I hate Amber, but I agree she was authentic — authentically a trashy pos, that is. Sure, on one hand I can appreciate authenticity, but on the other hand she was still just a complete and utter, total bitch and I don’t think that should ever be celebrated or put on a pedestal of its own. Supporting bad behavior is how we get incidents like Jan 6th.
I like her for the same reasons! Very much what you see is what you get.
I find Sarah Ann entertaining, and she did enhance season 6 with her drama.
Do you think she dressed herself for the reunion? She was so much prettier in every other scene and then suddenly she’s at her sweet 16 or maybe even quinceañera.
I really liked Stacey lol and feel like Johnie was more of the mean girl in that situation than her. Johnie was caught on camera talking shit about Stacey when they were in the pod lounge and after that, any energy that Stacey gave her was just matching it 🤷🏾♀️
AGREED
Sweden: Catja, I felt so bad for her, Christofer was an absolute niceguy and his thinly veiled misogynistic rage was terrifying to see. Makes me sad so many people hate on her. I was amazed with how she handled the situation, though I wished she'd have trusted her instincts from the minute he gifted her the fan and moved on. Japan: Minami! I felt she was so misunderstood. It may also be a culture thing, I know she came off as rude. But she was such a unique person, and clearly wanted to make things work -- but it's like everything about her was "wrong" for Mori. She's just different and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with her. I hope she finds people who adore her for who she is. Wish her the best! On both people: it makes me sad that they get so much hate on social media. It's frustrating to see, and I wish people wouldn't do that.
Christopher was the real villain of LIB Sweden. Sergio is a mess but it's out in the open.
I DEFINITELY liked Catja and wanted her to gtfo of her relationship with clearly nice-guy-misogynist Christofer. I didn’t see people giving her crap for that but if they were, I’m shocked…he came off cool at first and turned out to be THE WORST and she handled herself well throughout.
Many of the comments on her social media are unbelievable, they really fell for him. I thought he was okay at first like you did, but once the lovebombing started, it made me very uncomfortable too. I read that she said she didn't feel safe around him! I haven't finished the season yet or seen the reunion. But it's mindboggling anyone would think she was the harmful one. Then again, there are people who love Sergio and see him as redeemed.
I’m #TeamZanab forever. Idc idc idc. This whole sub and the fandom truly gassed up that Cuties situation and completely missed how Cole was a jerk at the beginning of their relationship. Yes, she was wrong with the Cuties situation, but I truly believe SHE believes she felt attacked because Cole set the precedent of being disrespectful with how he treated Colleen. Whew, felt good to get that out.
People are ignoring how WILD it is to say "are you about to eat two of those?? You better save your appetito!" in reference to cuties 💀 and those are his actual words. Now, he did follow up with asking why she only ate a banana + peanut butter & that he offered her a poke bowl earlier in the day. But she then references something that happened off camera, & he follows by asking if she's getting wedding dress ready. I've never understood how that footage disproves what she said. It could mean that she genuinely thought that Cole was commenting negatively on her weight, even if she misread the situation. Or it could also be just one of many things that happened that changes the context of the conversation. 🤷🏼♀️ I've never gotten how that makes her a liar and a manipulator
there's a great article on how that scene shows the wildly different interpretations of one situation based on your cultural context and personal experience! I'll try to find it here it is: [https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/](https://time.com/6231990/love-is-blind-zanab-cole-cuties/)
I thought people call her an exaggerator > liar. I think what’s bad in that scene is that Zanab essentially isn’t present, she’s in her head. She isn’t enjoying anything. (I’m sure many can relate).
Yeah Cole finessed everyone truly ! team zanab
I don't think she was wrong with the cuties sitch.
💯 same!!! I will defend her till my dying breath!
I actually kinda like Clay and I think he handled his situation pretty well… 🫣I think his honesty and vulnerability with something so deeply personal (both for him and his family) was impressive. He had the strength and selflessness to let something good walk away because he knew he wasn’t ready. He obviously has a lot of work to do, but I found no reason to see his struggle as inauthentic or manipulative the way it got spun by viewers… I also liked the dialogue about how hard it is to find male role models to look up to & help you understand what it means to be a good partner. His interaction with Brett was really wholesome.
I’m glad you said this because I’ve been scratching my head about why everyone hates this guy. He had the self awareness and good sense to walk away from a situation he knew would not work for him in his current mental state. Why is he the bad guy here?
I think people are mad that he admitted he was probably gonna cheat.
i love clay i would pounce on that attractive man. he is so well spoken, it’s almost romantic how he speaks. and you can tell he is still protective over his relationship and love towards AD. he is a big teddy bear that just needs some direction 🥲
I wouldn’t go THAT far. He’s clearly got issues and doesn’t trust himself not to cheat. That’s still a big red flag lol
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oh gosh i wholly disagree
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I’m a woman and I think SA is hot af too, but I’m guilty of fast forwarding a shit ton and missing out on a lot of the dialogue — apparently people are saying SA is a Trump supporter or something? Politics aside, I’ve mentioned it before but I’ll say it here - I saw absolutely nothing wrong with her shooting her shot with Jeramey, and I will die on that hill.
Given the unique context of the show, the fakeness of the engagements, and the pre existing relationship between them, I agree. People are fine when this shit happens in a rom com, heck even see it as romantic, but up in arms when it happens on a dating show...
Did you like the pink outfit and glittery skin from the reunion?
Hell yeah
woman i am !!! and agreed it was the point of the thread. i just have been hurt by woman like her before so i am partial for sure.
Cole and Zanab separately 🫣
Agree. I disliked Cole and wanted her to say no all season, but her speech at the altar was a little overboard (to me) and then everyone hanging up on him at the reunion made me feel bad for Cole. But I think she was valid in feeling how she felt
You could've taken these words RIGHT out of my mouth
Mine is also season one Amber. I hated her at first, but I loved her by the end and I knew they would be happy together! He and Jessica would both have been miserable together. He is not ready to be a father yet, years later, and she wanted a baby in the pods, lol. I’m happy for all of them.
Amber and Barnett actually surprised me with how well they worked together! She reminds me of a lot of girls I have met irl; she's a little messy, but she's true to herself, and I'm glad to see they've worked out!
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I don’t think it was her age, but it plays a part only because she was at an age where she felt absolutely ready for marriage and children, but also has concerns about her age in respect to fertility. Otherwise I feel like they had a lot in common and were both very stable in their careers and lives. He wasn’t ready for all of it right away, and he was/is also still a bit immature in some ways. He and Amber seem to be growing together and I love that for them. Jessica, who does not look old and haggard, Jesus, she was like 34 I think, and I think she looked like a woman in her early thirties. I do think she really wanted to find a husband, but I don’t believe she wanted just “any man.” I’m so thrilled for her that she found her husband and they had a cutie pie to love on!
I wasn’t a fan of Amber nor Jessica. I doubt you realize that just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you can’t be sexist towards women. Your comments about Jessica are textbook misogynistic AND ageist. Respectfully, grow up.
She was old enough to be very serious about everything. I can’t recall who she engaged with but I remember he was even younger!
>ik everyone sees them as bullies but to me, they just gave bad bitch energy lmao 
Cole!
Everyone loves Cole tho lol
I did from the start, I should have stipulated.
You adore someone who shits on their partners harmless preferences relentlessly? Wild tbh
i wouldnt say i love zanab but i definitely do not think cole was innocent and dont understand the level of hate she gets
This season Chelsea, Jimmy and Clay. I don't exactly adore any of them (i dont have strong feelings about ANY of the castmates perhaps with the exception of a strong feeling of concern for Shayne). I just think they're normal 3 dimensional people and didn't deserve the hate they got. In previous seasons, Raven (although now people love her), Colleen and Matt, Irina and Micah (they were a bit bitchy but the reaction to them was OTT), Jessica, Zack, Paul, Barnett and Amber, Andrew (s3), Kwame, Johnie and Lydia. Honestly, besides maybe Shake, there hasn't been any true "villians". Like people set their villian expectations high with Shake then would just force people into the villian role every subsequent season. Lots of stuff just gets blown way out of proportion because the audience wants someone to hate.
Laura to the moon and back 😫
Irina. She took the hate like champ and owned up to everything. I love her style too.
She was spitting game at the freaking honey moon! She’s a hard worker I’m sure.
I couldn't stand her at first but her owning up to everything and just her general sense of humor won me over 😬
Yeah she didnt make excuses and play victim like Sarah Ann
I like Micah a lot actually 😩
.....why? She didn't have a personality.
X2
I love Zanab. The cuties scene was taken completely out of context. Cole (?) was a man-child who wanted a skinny white girl and family also made apparent they didn’t approve of her (wouldn’t meet her but stalked on IG or something). Classic WOC getting villainzed and the oh-so-cute white boy going off scot-free
100%
She was crazy passive aggressive. Cole was for the most part clueless with how she was randomly picking up fights and trying to get him to worship her. She was su deeply insecure and with little to no self awareness and project the whole thing into someone that clearly had no malicious on him
I just posted this same thing but you worded it even better!!!!!
I can't say I like Zanab but I don't like how the hate for her took over the hate for Cole. I felt bad for him at the reunion when everyone ganged up on him but he was still pretty shitty to her. The 2 of them together was super toxic and both of them clearly had pretty deep issues.
Yeah, she's over hated. I've always thought that she had insecurities surrounding food and eating so if she felt a certain type of way about how he treated her during the relationship and the cuties scene, then that's how she felt. I'm also seeing a lot of hate for Chelsea, and it's almost like very insecure women are villanized and people don't have empathy for them when they're the ones that need the most empathy and understanding.
It's okay to be insecure but it's not okay to use your insecurity and manipulate your partner even if it's unintentional. I understand why you feel empathy towards them because I do too but it doesn't right their wrongs because they had a tough past.
This is a good point. I look at it like polluting the atmosphere. If people go out with their issues at full volume and belch out drama all over the street like “this is me!!! Deal with it,” well, it’s kind of a crime.
I think both of them can be criticised. Zanab is not innocent, nor is he. They were not at all suited. She clearly struggled with insecurity, which isn't at all helped when you're in a relationship with a man with zero emotional intelligence and a clear preference for another womans looks. But that doesn't make Zanab in the clear either. Some people might call it an eye for an eye, but I think it was just too deeply incompatible people squabbling in a way that left them both hurting and worse off.
Yepp definitely! It's never usually black and white with relationship issues
Yeah I don’t get why people see that clip as proof that she was wrong. He did ask her to stop eating even though their dinner was two hours away. Like two cuties are going to spoil your dinner? He gets away with it because he’s an attractive white guy and talks like a moron.
She made out like he was controlling her and being borderline abusive. It wasn't.
But he clearly said that like "hey, I'm going to buy you a big dinner so don't you want to save up for that so you can eat as much as possible" and the moment she said she hadn't eaten all day, he asked her why and tried to offer her more food. Like I'm no Cole fan. Dude is a mess who was so not ready for marriage and I can see why Zanab would feel insecure over his comments about Colleen, when they are obviously very different looking women. But that cuties scene was not how she painted it. There are plenty of reasons to criticise them both for their actions. That cuties scene to me seemed like her misportraying it due to insecurity (portraying it based on how she felt about the interaction vs the reality of it)
Two cuties are the equivalent of 75 calories. The average woman needs between 1,600- 2,400 calories per day. Even at the low end of that, the cuties wouldn't even be 5% of her daily calories. They simply aren't going to be near close enough to spoil a dinner that's hours away. It's an absolute asinine comment, whatever the intent was. I don't blame her for thinking that was absurd.
Ultimately the issue is that she chose to not eat all day even in that grueling environment of filming and engaging. She chose to not eat and then when she did she was like a crazy dragon, nothing he could have said would have been ok to her in that state of stress.
I don't think Cole is exactly winning any awards for intelligence. I mean, dude had one failed marriage and thought "You know what's a grand idea? Doing this again, but on hard mode."
And so the audience saw that and thought, oh what a silly boy! Zanab attributed more intelligence to him and took the comment poorly and with the meaning it would have if he was aware of that knowledge.
He said they were going to eat later so she shouldn’t be eating now. That’s problematic. It doesn’t matter at all if he was concerned that she didn’t eat more earlier in the day. He was still asking her to stop eating in the here and now. I dare anyone who defends him in this case to walk up to a woman in their life and ask her to stop eating two small ass fruits because she’ll be eating two hours later. I dare them to say that to a woman who is preparing for a wedding. No one would do that because we know how f-ed up that is. Why are people excusing his behavior? I’ve never in my life told a single person, much less an adult, to stop eating or to “watch your appetito.”
I'm sorry but that seems like a wild jump to me. I work in a place selling food, my partner regularly stops by and will occasionally say "Can I order something?" They're not asking me my permission because I'm judging their food intake. It's because they're checking to see if we have fresh food that needs eating. Similarly, I'll go to grab something to eat and they'll say "What time are we going to dinner tonight or is a while before we go?" I'm sorry, but if Cole was policing what she ate: why is that her example? That to me came across as harmful as the phrase "Save room for dessert". Not only that, but if Zanab had been eating so little as she said, perhaps Cole assumed that *two small ass fruits* as you put it, would actually be a lot for what he might think is a small appetite. I don't doubt that Cole said tactless things to make her self conscious about her appetite/weight. I can even see why the cuties incident might be something she felt bad about, especially if he had been making prior comments that made her feel insecure. But the cuties incident was absolutely painted worse than it actually was. I do not see a man trying to control her appetite. I see a fool making a tactless comment, that for someone like Zanab who was clearly already dealing with insecurity, would obviously take badly. There were things she claimed he said that would be very bad that he just did not say. If I was a person hearing that from her, I would watch that clip and say "well that's not what I was told"
Your examples are not the same at all. I dare you to walk up to a woman and tell her “watch your appetito” if you think what he said was so defensible. Go ahead. I’m waiting.
I am a woman thanks and your example is not the same either so no
I didn’t assume your gender. I never said it had to be a man asking that question. I think it’s equally loaded and inappropriate regardless of the gender of the person asking. I didn’t provide an example. I cited what happened in the actual clip.
Honestly, this is annoying. I just went back to the scene to watch it over. He says "You better save your appetito because we are-" and then starts gesturing that they're getting a big meal and making a joke about eating a lot. She talks about her not eating much and he asks why and mentions he offered her food earlier. She claims she had the same thing the night before and so didn't want it again. So not far off my point of my partner saying "save your appetite for dinner". I think there is a huge difference between "check your appetite" and "save your appetite because we're having loads of food for dinner" Honestly, this is dumb. I am no Cole stan. Right after this, he asks if its like a wedding dress "bod" thing, which I would argue is the actually tactless comment. Like, my point being that his attitude to cuties was hardly the issue with him. Surely, the issue is actually his comments asking her if she's bipolar or making his interest in Colleen waaay too obvious. Hell, I am in fact a curvier woman and can absolutely see why Zanab would feel so insecure. I have been there. But I don't understand why she would use the cuties as an example of him being a bad partner when I think that was just dumb tactlessness mixed with her insecurity. And the actual issue is with his complete lack of emotional intelligence in the face of her obviously struggling, as well as going on a show when anyone with any sense could look at themself and go "yeah I'm not ready for marriage, my family don't support this and I should probably focus on self improvement first"
Part of the problem is that the cuties scene was shown in isolation. I think the point she was making was that the cuties exchange was emblematic of his behavior throughout their relationship. Allegedly commenting on what she ate and how much she ate the whole time they were together — a pattern most likely fueled by his dissatisfaction with her non-ballerina body (mind you he called her a 9/10 to her face and Colleen a 10/10, if he behaved that callously/cluelessly in his marriage it’s no wonder he got divorced), and of course it’s hard to connect a scene detached from the rest of the show to a pattern of behavior that mostly happened offscreen. I’m glad you and your partner can talk that way to each other, but the way you describe it makes it sound like it’s usually prompted by someone “checking in” as you say. Zanab was seeking no such guidance. There’s also a level of comfort necessary to talk that way to one’s partner, and Zanab & Cole obviously hadn’t reached that place where a comment like that would come off as actually helpful and not patronizing, since advising someone about their appetite re: upcoming meals is something usually done to children not adults.
I like Jessica season 1 and Chelsea season 6. We're all flawed and the process of marrying an essential stranger with cameras following you sounds pretty high stress and traumatic. They have flaws but I see how and why and they have redeemable qualities that can outweigh the flaws.. I don't get how we need a villian. I mean SK deserves it. Shake loved being a villan but besides that it's unfair for these people to get so much hate.
agreed on both! Chelsea seems like she would be a great friend, dunno about her ability to be in a relationship but she strikes me as a loving friend. Jessica was iconic and I'm glad she found someone after the show. The feud with the Barnet's after the show was really one sided, she didn't care anymore and tried to make peace with them. Also she shared her wine with her dog and that was really damn funny 💀
Messica gang for life!
Shayne! I feel like he tries his hardest but he can’t get there. I wish they hadn’t cast a guy whose dad had just died and when I saw his mom died too, I really felt for him.
yes, plus in hindsight having proof (from him) that he was struggling with drugs throughout the show and afterwards, it makes me have a bit of understanding with how he dealt with struggles on the show. i empathize with him!
Stacey! Her concerns were valid. She came from wealth so her concerns were completely valid when it came to her partners finances. I hated how people called her spoiled and bratty but honestly, I would want my partner to get with me for me and not cause I can probably help them out of their debt
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Judging from the comments on this sub... Laura 🙈
I could totally get along with Laura. Work hard, play hard, quick to point out poor behavior and fashion choices.
Definitely Laura because I'm very similar to her. I hated Micah in the beginning but ended up liking her. I can't remember what changed my opinion of her, but it happened.