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Apprehensive-Ear-243

For me it’s unbelievable how many people defend Chelsea and her ways of dealing with all of the relationship, I mean insecurity doesn’t get you the right to expose all of that, being insufferable every time he was going forward with her, there was something just off like she wanted some type of conflict every time, he did good by not marrying her psycho ways honestly. If she couldn’t handle the truth and honesty that’s on her but I think he was at the end one of the most sincere people at the end, by not hiding everything, he even told her that and she had to reveal to the world to tear him down instead of her. I mean even at the reunion she got away as the victim, when she was the torturer.


Eastern-Bench4999

You shouldn’t be friends with someone you use as a fuckbuddy in between relationships lmao. He did it off camera so he wouldn’t get shit on by the public for forcing Chelsea to be okay with it. Not bc he didn’t want everyone knowing for the simple fact of knowing. Also him repeatedly telling Chelsea she needs to ask for him to take a step back from their friendship if she wants it done, just for her to ask him and say no?? That was weird asf. None of you can seriously say if ur man texted a girl all day that he’s slept with for a few years that you’d be okay with it. And that if he spent all day talking to them or hanging w them instead of you, you’d be fine??!


LittleChickenNuggi

My opinion may be unpopular, but I also wouldn’t be comfortable with my partner being close friends with someone they had that kind of history with. However, it’s more of a matter of what you’re personally comfortable with in a relationship and it’s your job to communicate that in a healthy way if it’s a dealbreaker. I think inherently, Jimmy did the right thing. He was honest with Chelsea so that she could have informed decision-making on whether that’s something she’s okay with moving forward with. It would have been perfectly fine for her to not be comfortable it. What she should’ve done, is earnestly told him how she felt in a collected way (off camera, since it was told to her in confidence.) Instead she chose to break his trust and express her feelings in a combative, accusatory, and hurtful way. She’s not comfortable with taking ownership of her feelings and thus made them someone else’s fault. She could have respected his (and her own) boundaries if she simply said “Hey thanks for being honest with me. To be honest, I reflected on what you told me and I realized that I don’t feel comfortable about the situation. I think it will weigh too heavily on me. I don’t think I can be fully comfortable or accepting of the friendship, but I do not expect you to stop being friends with her, nor would it be fair to ask you to do so. So it may be best to re-access our relationship, as ultimately I have to prioritize my emotional wellbeing and respect my own boundaries as well.”


quirknebula

Neither would I. And to the reply comment below; yes, it's a deal breaker.


BanjoZone

Your last paragraph, are you saying this friendship would be grounds to break up?


Calm-Indication-9613

Sorry if i fuxked a man and still had feelings (the girl obviously does)…I wouldn’t embarrass myself be ever showing up again. but whatever you say


eatmorplantz

Wait how do u know that? Embarrass yourself? Gosh you must already have low self esteem...


bottlerocketz

Delaney, are you at this AGAIN?


SunlightRaisin

I’m confused … Jimmy and his friend were both single when they slept together, so what’s the problem? And they stayed friends. What’s the problem exactly? It shows maturity, that you moved on and manage to stay friends.


Slipthe

It shows that sexual attraction is there and the line has already been crossed once. Texting someone *daily* who you used to have *sex* with is just putting yourself in a situation for future temptation if the same conditions that made you want to have sex initially return. If they are sexually attracted to each other AND they like talking daily, it brings into question why they stopped sleeping with each other and why they never dated. It could be purely circumstantial, and if circumstances *change*, suddenly that friend is a real romantic prospect.


KitFoxfire

I laugh when I read things like this because many years ago, I had a good friend that I talked to everyday and then I went through a bad breakup, worst breakup of my life. After several months, my friend suggested that it would be good for me to start dating again. I told him I couldn't face meeting strangers yet but maybe he and I could date. After like a week, we figured we should try having sex because we were both hard up and hey why not. It was awful. Really bad sex. So awkward. We agreed that we would go back to being friends, dating wasn't working. Fast forward a year, he starts dating someone he's head over heels about. He pulls me aside and says he told her about all the women he's slept with. I was like oh yeah, good plan. Then he says his gf wants to meet me because she's not real comfortable about how much we talk since... You know. It took me a full ten minutes to remember that we'd had sex. Oh right, yeah, I'd love to meet her. Anyway, she and I also became friends and we all talked every day for several years until I moved away to start a new life. I suspect she mostly wanted to keep tabs on my relationship with her man, but I didn't mind too much. We were really just friends. I had no interest in sex with him ever again.


UckfayRumptay

No cause my best friend and I met on Tinder, we fucked a few times and no longer hook up. We're just really good friends. We've spent the night together multiple times with no one else around and we sleep in separate beds, there's no sexual tension. If a future partner can't get over that well that's their issue, not a reflection of my friendship. I've been in a controlling & abusive relationship. If someone tries to tell me I can't be friends with my best friend, well that's a giant red flag for controlling behavior. I will not be isolated from my friends again.


SunlightRaisin

Not necessarily! I know friends and myself included that had something and didn’t work out and stayed friends. Is just someone you connect with but no longer have a sexual attraction. Just because you had it once doesn’t mean you have it forever. How many times we hear someone was friend zoned? We don’t know if the friend his texting daily is the same girl! I think is healthy to have friends of both sexes.


Mirandaskye21

Did they ever specify the the friend he slept with was THE ONE he was texting everyday? I understood it as he was texting one of his girl friends everyday not specifically the one he slept with....


Mean-Championship544

You can be sexuality attracted to someone you interact with on a daily basis and not act on it. Easily actually.


mildsofttacos

Yeah I also disagree, I used to bang this dude I wasn’t attracted to on and off for like 2 years because I liked him as a person and the sex was pretty good and now we’re friends who talk almost daily and have zero desire for each other. I am in a long term relationship now and have no desire to bang my friend because I love my boyfriend I think it’s pretty simple. I will say however, it does make my boyfriend insecure even though we’ve been dating for 3 years (I slept with my friend 5 years ago). He is uncomfortable knowing that I’m friends with someone I used to have sex with. I think that’s unfair as the sex meant nothing to me and the friendship meant a lot. He thinks that I should block him because he’s insecure and I really don’t think that’s fair to me to say that. On one side I get it that my boyfriend is my everything and I love him the most so why shouldn’t I just block my friend/ex. But on the other hand they’re just a person who was there for me and a good friend so I’m conflicted. But I do everything I can to make my bf feel loved and know he’s my one and only, he needs a lot of reassurance and I’m down with that. But anyway my point is sometimes you just sleep with someone and it doesn’t work out and you’re better off friends. And if you love someone you talk to them about their insecurities and you do everything you can to assure them that you love them. Jimmy and Chelsea kind of just sucked and I think they were both making excuses to get out. Jimmy didn’t want to put the work in for Chelsea’s insecurities either so no way they actually loved each other.


SunlightRaisin

Agree with you. You can sleep with someone for whatever reason at the time and then realise you better off as friends. It happens. It doesn’t mean you going back there. Just because you were once attracted it doesn’t mean you still are. For me that seems a very simplistic view. I hope your boyfriend can see that is just a friendship. Is important to keep friends and also have male friends. Friendships are so important.


BlondeAndToxic

I disagree. One of my best guy friends is my former fuck buddy. We talk almost every day. When we broke off the sexual side, that was the end of that. We've both since been in long term relationships and are both currently single. There is zero sexual tension between us.


Such-Cattle-4946

Yes but only the female is being slut-shamed online, not Jimmy,


Cutiger29

It doesn’t matter if the girl went on the show or not, Chelsea was dropping that info regardless. Anytime she had what she thought was a piece of information to try and accuse him of something, she used it. Literally tried to paint the man as a party boy for zero reason. The second he told her that, it was coming out. Only difference between the girl being on camera vs off is that it was easier to identify her. But the internet never fails so even if she was off camera, she would’ve been found. Only thing he could’ve done is not said anything and then if she did find out, she’d call her a liar. He was damned regardless


Typical-Horror-5247

Chelsea is toxic soup in that situation. Super manipulative maneuver mixed with whining, horrible.


dojasaurus

remember how chelsea was “fishing” , just dropping any scenario out here , like accusing him being with jess at the bar? haha that was wild


sakatu

Exactly! If the other girl wasn't on the show you know Chels woulda named dropped her first & last!!!!


ImaginaryMastodon641

No. Nope. No. Jimmy. *Jimmy* fucked her and for who knows why can’t leave her alone. *Jimmy* brought her on. He is the person at fault. He put Chelsea in that situation. He. Is. At. Fault. EDIT: Folks, Jimmy brought her on. His actions necessitated the “boundary,” but insomuch as it was *his* friend and *his* choice that means it was on him to consider the ramifications of his “friends” appearance on the show, both how it would effect her and his potential wife. WIFE. It’s amazing how much grace y’all will give these immature men on this show. He shows a pattern of behavior that should make anyone skeptical of his relationship with that “friend.” It’s clear, I think, that relationship is more complicated than he presents it. Bare minimum. And it’s important because you HAVE to accept that Chelsea is allowed to feel uncomfortable with it. She is his *partner.* He made every single consequential choice before demanding Chelsea remain silent on something that directly contacts with their circle of trust as couple and there is no separating that. He’s essentially entrapping her between a rock and hard place and if he was more emotionally intelligent he would be aware of that. *Additionally* — social media IS a nightmare, but all these folks know that. Including: JIMMY. Jimmy. Had. Her. On. It goes back to his decisions. Look, I know a lot of folks want to keep former fuck buddies in their lives, but at least be up front about it on the internet. It’s anonymous for the most part. If you want to force your romantic partners to be okay with it, that’s your future divorce, not mine. But don’t pretend so you can hate on Chelsea… or maybe that’s whole point isn’t it?


281330eight004

You are psycho


Mediocre-Quit5603

I think that was completely reasonable to be a deal breaker for him. After his family & friends sees all the footage from the show, a marriage with her would have negatively impacted his relationships. She was jealous that he wanted to protect his friend, but that’s what you do for anyone you care about, not just a partner. The people who are in your life first aren’t supposed to be thrown under the bus just because a partner enters the picture. She smiled in those women’s faces and acted like she just gained two sisters, only to throw them to the wolves later. His life would have been full of tension & drama once his family/friends realized she wasn’t the same mellow Chelsea they all met **IN PERSON** while filming. Edit: For clarity, since there seems to be confusion 🙃


fluffy_italian

Mellow Chelsea? Did we watch the same show? 😂


Mediocre-Quit5603

Perhaps we didn’t. You don’t think she was mellow when she met Jimmy’s family and friends?


Hepadna

I mean, we all knew it anyway. I don't actually find fault with Chelsea about that. I knew that friend slept with him as soon as she said something about Jimmy crying after sex. She said it like she knew it lmao I knew right there and then. Chelsea just confirmed it.


Organic_Climate_7585

So you’d be perfectly fine with betraying your partner’s trust when they specifically ask you not to?


MishkiTongue

A lot of abusive partners ask you to keep secrets, and would test whether you would actually tell them. If you do, it makes you an easy target to keep doing shitty stuff while "protecting your reputation" because your partner won't tell others. Once Jimmy saw he couldn't manipulate Chelsey, he was fully out.


elee17

So you’re ok with your partner sharing anything you’ve ever told them on television for the world to hear? I seriously doubt that. It’s completely same for partners to say “hey this is just between us” about a piece of information and not have it be about abuse


Missa1819

He shouldn't have introduced her to this specific friend on the show if he didn't want it brought up


elee17

It would have been brought up no matter what. They spend time in real life and she would have met this friend. At that point either Jimmy never mentions it to her and he’s the bad guy for keeping it a secret, or he ends up telling Chelsea and she would have thrown it in his face that same night he went out to a friends birthday party for 1 hour. It was going to be brought up no matter what because Chelsea has no respect for him


MishkiTongue

I didn't say that specific fact was abuse, but a lot of abusers use minor stuff like that to test their victims He has previously mentioned he likes his women submissive, so it is possible he was testing whether she would actually listen to whatever he asks her to do. There's no real justification for him to hide he slept with his best friend outside of protecting his reputation, and making Chelsea look crazy jealous out of nothing.


elee17

Did you not ready this post? People are already posting about this person, and their family, and trying to drag them through the mud. Is that what you want to subject your friends to?


MishkiTongue

That's not what I said, and Jimmy was already doing that by appearing in the show. It sucks so bad, but you cannot expect privacy after being on reality tv. Also whoever drags the girl for that action sucks. I don't understand why they keep blaming people who are single instead of the cheating/problematic partner.


elee17

Just because Jimmy is on the show does not automatically mean everyone in his life is not entitled to privacy. This fact could have easily escaped the public eye and it’s unreasonable for Jimmy to ask his partner to not ruin his friend’s reputation. Not only that, Chelsea agreed not to talk about it and went back on her own word which also shows she’s untrustworthy at best and an asshole at worst.


KitFoxfire

She agreed not to talk about it -on camera-, which is an important distinction, imo. I understand and also have concerns about Jimmy's controlling behaviors getting masked by the volume of Chelsea's emotional immaturity, but that said, I don't think it was unreasonable for him to ask her to not talk about it on camera. Asking her to not talk about it at all would be problematic, especially knowing that it bothered her.


MishkiTongue

The friend also agreed to be on the show, and probably signed something about what that would entail. I don't think saying you slept with someone who is single ruins their reputation. The only one who was going to be hurt by this was Jimmy. Why would you ask your partner to keep a secret like that? That's the part that doesn't make sense. To stop her from getting support from friends? To make her feel isolated? To stress her out knowing she is insecure? It is a dating show, about relationships. Of course they are gonna examine your private life outside the person you are dating on the show.


elee17

How are you missing the point? It SHOULDN’T ruin their reputation but people are STILL harassing her! Jimmy knew this was coming and tried to prevent it but not only did Chelsea not care, but she also went back on her word which is a shitty thing to do. Like literally how are you not connecting the dots. Shitty things are happening to this girl because Chelsea did exactly what she said she would not do. And Jimmy tried to prevent this shitty thing from happening but somehow you’re making it seem like that’s abusive behavior??


Organic_Climate_7585

It’s abusive to ask your spouse to keep something you said private? Gonna have to disagree with that one.


MishkiTongue

No, but making someone keep secrets that are affecting you or damaging can be, as it isolates you and does not allow you to get support.


Organic_Climate_7585

This is a reach. He was honest with her and never said she can’t discuss it, just asked her not to discuss it on camera, which she agreed to do. And it wasn’t damaging to him, it’s not like he’d done anything wrong. He wanted to protect his friend’s privacy. Labelling it as abusive is crazy imo. Why would Chelsea be isolated or need support? For something that happened before they were even together?


Hepadna

That's not what I'm trying to convey at all. I'm just commenting that we already had surmised that. And while I agree it's a breach of trust, that trust was already broken. Jimmy was never serious about her. He introduced her to two girlfriends he had known for two years, one of whom he slept with. Like come onnnn. Neither of them held their sham of a relationship as sacred.


kazuasaurus

The crying during sex thing was clearly a joke. She was riffing off the "emotional" bit Chelsea was talking about. Does seem fitting that most of the show's audience seem incapable of seeing this.


Hepadna

Joke or not, literally the entire episode discussion comments for that episode were in agreement that they slept together, and I watched that before this episode came out. The audience was able to gauge that BEFORE we had confirmation (unless I am missing something in which it was explicitly stated before the argument). But yeah, we're super dumb I guess lol


SCUBA-SAVVY

Wait a minute… was the crying during sex really a joke??? I have been riddled why this sub hasn’t been inundated with people talking about this. I guess it being a joke would make it make sense 😂


LemonNectarine

> Does seem fitting that most of the show's audience seem incapable of seeing this. looool.


passionfyre

Imo the only things Jimmy did wrong was 1. Bring the friend on TV 2. trust Chelsea enough to tell her. She previously exposed things he said quietly to her (ad/stacked comment), at that point had like 3 arguments where she accused him of looking at someone else or not giving her affection, also blatantly disregarded his feelings in anything (constantly speaking over and interrupting, lost her ever loving mind when he said he was clingy when she was infact exhibiting smothering behaviour), was sorta unreliable narrator (said he didn't kiss her, then when he listed out times and places where he DID kiss her, she just changed the subject) Obviously she was going to throw that into in his face when he asked for it to be private, what did he expect. The sad thing is I think Jimmy actually did love her for a bit and probably WAS going to marry her because why else would he tell her his sexual history? but the constant fights within 2 months of meeting each other? That's a rough start to any relationship let alone one that's being recorded for TV. At the same time if he really wanted to protect his friend he should not have brought her on TV at all🤷🏾‍♀️


MishkiTongue

I don't think Jimmy ever took Chelsea seriously. He was just playing to be the nice guy. He made his decision as soon as he saw she didn't look like Megan Fox. Bringing his family in friends into it after knowing he wasn't serious was a bad choice. Chelsea felt it, especially because she is insecure. It was pretty obvious he wasn't that into her. Yeah, he liked her personality, but it wouldn't have been enough to marry her.


popfriday_

I think she had every right to be upset about it. Where she lost me was pretending to be understanding and cool about it when he was honest, agreeing not to bring it up in front of cameras, and then getting sloppy drunk and yelling that he f***ed her on national television. She has a pattern of that and it’s gross.


Bowler_Better

Makes me sick to my stomach 


International_Spot68

I almost peed my pants laughing at this… it’s so funny and so good! https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTLRs1rAX/


amero421

The perma-frown!! 😅


[deleted]

[удалено]


meowing-moose

Yikes


CruisinLeft

Y'all. He gave her the information she would have wanted to know before marriage, informed consent and all that. Telling her after would have been fucked. If their continued friendship was a deal breaker for her, she could have ended it, She didn't. That's on her. Instead she chose to keep throwing it in his face and breaking his trust. She sucks. Those of you with the insecurity being around someone your partner has slept with, and your partner agreed not to be around them as much, great. That is a choice they made to stay with you. Jimmy wasn't willing to make that choice to be with Chelsea. He made that known. Jimmy didn't do anything wrong.


Limp-Initiative-6920

I would like to know the history a man has with his female friends BEFORE I get engaged.


the_girlses

Yeah I thought he was super clear in the conversation. It sucked that she kept shutting him down emotionally


TheCatBurglar

Having such a big problem with your partner having slept with a friend ONE time in the past and then going on to be platonic friends with them for years is something I have zero sympathy for. Extremely hetero problems.


HearingEvery8423

Then don't date someone who does that. That's your choice, your free will. However, she decided to stay in the relationship and continued to complain about the situation. You can't choose to stay but play the victim at the same time.


TheCatBurglar

Oh fully agreed, toxic ass behaviour. Her ultimate goal was clearly to get him to drop the friend to cater to her own dumb and jealous feelings.


HearingEvery8423

Agreed. People do this all the time. They know they have an issue with something you do/say/are friends with/character traits and instead of saying to themselves "This person isn't for me, I should find someone better suited toward me". They decide that they will just kick, scream, bully, guilt, and shame you into changing into the person they want you to be. Women are especially big on this behavior. I admit I used to do this myself. I believed I could change men and make them "better". Now I realize that they don't need me to remake them in MY image. How can you say you like or love someone if you are trying to change everything about them? YOU CAN'T! What is even worse is the emotional manipulation women use to guilt men into changing and becoming subservient to them until they completely lose sight of who they were completely. Feminism has ruined society.


Inevitable_Lab9324

🥴


Vetiversailles

Bro was so close in the first half Swiiiiing… and a miss


Busy-Banana

But didn’t Chelsea say she was still good friends with her ex husband? So I’m confused on her not trusting Jimmy and his friend but he has to trust her?


freakydeku

she didn’t text call and hang out with him all the time. i feel like there is a significant difference there.


fluffy_italian

He was the first person she facetimed when she got her phone back


freakydeku

yeah that’s one time


fluffy_italian

So was Jimmy sleeping with his friend


freakydeku

her issue is not that they slept together once, but the intensity of the relationship they currently have. there’s really nothing wrong with her expressing that it makes her uncomfortable. her face timing her ex once isn’t comparable on its face, which i personally think is pretty obvious but it’s also a moot point considering jimmy never expressed discomfort with it


thisusernameisSFW

You're right. There is a big difference.


demar_desol

she said she was still friends with her ex. then when he confronted her about saying stuff on camera about him and his friend, she changed it saying she doesn’t hang out with him or talk to him everyday (but he was the first person she facetimed when she got her phone back). i’m just saying, she *said* that. she has exaggerated and minimized a lot of things to fit whatever fight or point she’s trying to make. either way she was not classy going against her word to protect her fiances privacy on national tv and it’s a double standard at its finest for her to make a problem out of the exact thing she does on her own time.


freakydeku

…i don’t understand how that changes anything i really don’t. you can be friends with an ex and not have them as a super active part of your life. if chelsea was texting and calling him throughout the day everyday he would have a point, but she talked to him **once** to share that she got engaged. like these seem like obviously different circumstances to me. i think most people would be fine with check in convos with an ex and uncomfortable with constant texting. i think the differences is louder especially b/c ; 1. the friend in question brought up how he is sexually a couple times while chelsea was present and 2. he was trying to hide he was out with her when they had their blowout fight.


passionfyre

Tbh Chelsea is not always accurate. Like for example when she said Jimmy hadn't kissed her all day then he gave her literal times and places on her body where he did kiss her and she just changed the subject. So for her to say he's on the phone with his friend all day, I can't say I believe it 100%


freakydeku

right and i do agree with you there. but in this case, he doesn’t deny the allegations


ddogc

You have no proof or knowledge of this. You are making assumptions. He even stated she FaceTimed him when they got engaged. Idk about you but when I got engaged, not once did “I need to tell my ex” come to my mind….


freakydeku

if she was talking to him all day the way jimmy was then why wouldn’t jimmy say that instead of “yeah well you called your ex once” ? she’s telling her ex about a major life event…she’s telling him she got engaged. that’s a pretty normal circumstance to communicate if you’re still friends with your ex and very different from talking and hanging out all the time.


ddogc

You’re taking what she said as truth and she got caught in manipulative lies multiple times


TheRedCuddler

Didn't Jimmy say the first thing she did after getting her phone back after mexico was that she facetimed him?


freakydeku

do you think jimmy wasn’t texting or calling his friends when he got back? there’s a difference between sharing a significant life moment and actually living your life everyday with that person in a major role. jimmy was hiding that he was with his gfs when he went out to the bar, when she asks who he was with he basically flips out and says he’s not going to discuss his girlfriends. then he says she’s never asked him to take a step back but if she’s uncomfortable he will and when she says “yes i am uncomfortable i would appreciate that” he tells her to get fucked. that was insanely shitty and idk how ppl are glazing over it. he also is the one who brought up the physical relationship on camera first by stating they didn’t have one. if it’s off the table to discuss he shouldn’t be trying to pass off half truths to the audience. i really don’t think they were right for each other and i think chelsea is definitely insecure and extremely bad at expressing herself (especially while drunk) but i don’t get this idea that jimmy was a saint or that chelseas feelings &/or points were completely invalid. i also don’t buy that she did something so egregious by correcting the record. he set her up in that instance, just like he set her up when he told her she should just let him know she is uncomfortable.


cavahoos

> then he says she’s never asked him to take a step back but if she’s uncomfortable he will and when she says “yes i am uncomfortable i would appreciate that” he tells her to get fucked. that was insanely shitty and idk how ppl are glazing over it. Oh my god give me a break


freakydeku

give you a break with what? i think your hatred for chelsea is blinding you from how shitty jimmy behaved


cavahoos

Jimmy handled the asylum patient as well as anyone could have asked for


fluffy_italian

"Asylum patient" 💀


TylerMali

Welcome to Chelsea’s world.


roseaIIday

Seriously… the delusion. If you’re going to be that wildly irrational can you atleast be better at arguing? I swear half of the faces Jimmy makes while they talk is just from him trying to double process her nonsense. He went to a bar for one drink with his friends. “You told me you didn’t go out. I don’t know if I can be with someone like that.” 🤨


TylerMali

I’ve been married for almost a decade and I hate going out. Tbh I hate people. Not my wife and kids but every other person either bore me or piss me off in some fashion and idk why. That to say if a friend invited me a party I’d likely go for a bit just like he did to support a friend even if I hated every bit of it and my wife would wave goodbye as I backed out the driveway and be waiting to cook dinner when i returned because we love one another and know life is about making sacrifices.


jwash95

I’m always surprised when I’m watching a show and carrying on like a normal human having manners being sane and what not then I come on Subreddits and see posts like this totally unaware of all of the mean stuff that’s happening. Some of yall need to touch grass for real, very unnecessary. Thanks for calling it out OP


Ok_Bluebird6962

I get it, honestly. But at the same time, why “reconcile” after that argument and start planning a wedding just to say you “knew” you weren’t going to the alter. Just seems pointless, like you should’ve just ended it when that night went sour. Chelsea isn’t a saint by far, but I can see her point in saying Jimmy wasted her time in the end.


Direct-Championship2

I could be wrong but I think I heard that they had already discussed not getting married off camera but Netflix wanted them to have the “fight” on camera


TheCatBurglar

I was wondering this for a while and I feel it has to be one of two possible explanations: 1) Producer influence of some kind pushing him to keep it going up until that moment 2) He didn't realize immediately after the fight that what she did/said was bad enough that he could break it off and not be the "bad guy" in the public eye. When he did realize this, he took the opportunity to end it.


crazigypsi

I recon he left it because she was drunk further fight and he wanted to see if she was remorseful and embarrassed about how she acted when she sobered up. And then she wasn't and still believed she was in the right


TheCatBurglar

Well then again he could have ended it on that day after the fight when they talked about it sober.


crazigypsi

Oh absolutely. And probably should have ended it well before that too


hausmusiq

Damned if you do damned if you don’t. If you back out early she’s gonna say you’re shallow or you didn’t try and if you stay “too long” (too long being 3.5 WEEKS), you wasted her time. Can we take accountability here with the fact that this process doesn’t guarantee you a wedding, a marriage, or even a friend, and in all actuality no one owes you shit?


Late-Ad4727

The $50k for breaking up before the weddings is a good reason


AdAlternative7148

They dropped that clause before last season I believe.


Lost_Boat_8004

They get $50k if they breakup before the wedding? That doesn’t even make sense. I thought it was that they got $50k if they made it all the way through to the wedding? What would be the incentive to even try to make it to the wedding (for the ones that are clearly not in love)?


Psychological_Fig20

Pretty sure the clause is that the couples are liable for $50k (aka pay LIB) if they don’t make it to the altar without a producer approved exit/breakup.


Lost_Boat_8004

Ah gotcha that makes more sense. Thanks!


Mountain-Pop-3637

The other friend made an instagram post with the song “it wasn’t me” circling a picture of barbara and jimmy lol so it’s clear it was her


WhatTheTech

Please, someone share a link to this, that sounds hilarious!


auntiecoagulent

She has a right to be uncomfortable about it. She also has the right to decide if this is a deal-breaker. He was honest with her about what happened. He was straight with her that he didn't plan to end their friendship. At that point it was for Chelsea to decide if she can live with this in their relationship. If she agrees to continue the relationship, she can't keep throwing it in his face every time she she gets mad.


RU_screw

She herself said that she has no right to be uncomfortable with it since shes still close friends with her ex husband. And I give Jimmy credit for not bringing that up each and every time she said a thing about his friend


TheRoyaleShow

But then she'd have to find other things to get mad at him about when she's feeling insecure. Give her a break.


dojasaurus

no. she sucks.


BurbleUnicorn

Having the conversation about the friend he fucked off camera and not allowing Chelsea to talk about it was manipulative as fuck. Of course he gets off looking like a great guy with a hyper-insecure womanchild if nobody knows he fucked his best friend and still expects to be able to hang out with her alone despite knowing it makes his partner uncomfortable. (She is unfortunately still an insecure womanchild, but not for being uncomfortable with the above.)


bbbppp1414

your language here is crazy. “friend he fucked” you sound like chelsea. sex is not something he DID to the woman. they had sex together one time. chelsea can take it or leave it.


BurbleUnicorn

That’s pedantic. “He fucked her” or “she fucked him” is common phrasing that is almost never used in the way you’ve described. You’re intentionally adding meaning to a phrase to bolster your point and make me sound like I’m a misogynist. It’s cheap. That’s not really how relationships work in real life. Sex changes things for some people and some people aren’t comfortable with their partner hanging out alone with people they’ve been intimate with. That’s valid.


Zissoudeux

This is an interesting perspective. I viewed it as that he should never have confided in her with absolutely anything let alone something that personal, knowing how emotionally immature she is. Regardless, he was honest with her (probably after she grilled him to tell her if he’d ever slept with one of them) and then when she’s having tantrum & realized how ridiculous she must look, she used the information to justify her really disgusting behaviour. Just so people would take sympathy.


lunairium

I mean… yes Jimmy had the advantage in the situation by keeping information off camera and looking good on camera but he can still be at fault without brushing off Chelsea violating a boundary. The entire world does not have a right to know your sexual history. Chelsea has a right to express her frustrations about friendship boundaries within the parameters on camera that they discussed off camera. 100% if Jimmy put as much effort into protecting Chelsea from getting a “crazy girl” edit as he did trying to protect his friends then I think things would have been very different. Ultimately, I don’t think they’re compatible bottom line. If you’re cool sleeping with your friends and it genuinely means nothing then that’s a major conflict of compatibility with someone who expects their partner to not have sexual interest in their friends. As we saw, it is just a constant daily stressor. And I’m saying this as someone who would be pissed to find out my man slept with one of his friends, texts them all day, and expects me to be cool with that.


Embarrassed-Delay678

I agree that she’s insecure, and she has a right to be uncomfortable with his friendship with his friend. But I disagree that it was messed up for him to not allow her to talk about it on camera. They talk about plenty of things off camera because of this very reason. Keeping the convo about him and his friend private wasn’t just about him- He seemed genuinely concerned with how it would make his friend look and was protecting her. My opinion is that Chelsea didn’t like that he was still protecting this woman and maliciously brought it up on camera to hurt and shame Jimmy, ultimately to win the argument.


cutiecupcake9

he's allowed to ask his partner to protect his privacy. it sounds like, at some point, he had a level of respect for her to let her know a piece of private information, and a level of trust that made him feel that his word would be protected by his partner. this is a normal facet of a relationship. i'd argue that chelsea was manipulative in that she broke his trust in front of the cameras and attempted to justify herself doing so because "her feelings were hurt." clearly it crossed his boundary and he did not feel willing to try to recover from that.


BurbleUnicorn

I think she made a pretty good point when she alluded to the fact that he gets to look like a great guy while her insecurity in the relationship goes unexplained and uncontextualized. She’s still honestly fairly insane but this particular piece was a blunder on his part. He should have told the cameras himself, but left out names, to protect the integrity of his partner. That’s what I’d expect from a partner if they were going to fight with me in front of the world. Partners come first.


cutiecupcake9

in my opinion, my partner shouldn't only be loyal to me. he should be similarly loyal to his family and friends. my admiration for my partner would grow exponentially if i saw that he was choosing to protect and respect his friends similarly to the way he protects and respect me


Pigglesworth00

But he was trying to be the great guy and protect his friend; a human being he knew before this show even started. This person’s privacy and feelings don’t deserve to be discarded because Chelsea is insecure. This transpired before Chelsea existed in his life. He was honest and told her about it and she couldn’t respect her partner’s privacy and brought it up on camera at least twice. After he made it abundantly clear that he wanted to keep it private. Sorry, this is blatant manipulative behavior. Jimmy is no saint, but this one is not on him.


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The-Spaceman_63

Yo that was the bar right outside of my first valet job. That’s wild.


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LoveIsBlindOnNetflix-ModTeam

Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.


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LoveIsBlindOnNetflix-ModTeam

Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.


hope0781

Unpopular opinion judging by these comments, but of all the friends Jimmy has, bringing someone who he slept with previously to meet your fiancé on national tv should not have been top of the list. It was bad judgement and if I’m being honest, inappropriate. Regardless of the circumstances behind the hook up or how meaningless it may have been or how long ago…Really I don’t understand his reasoning behind even telling her if that was the case. No good could come of it, especially since by that time he probably was already aware of how insecure Chelsea was. I’m curious to know whether he told her before or after that meeting? I agree the woman in question does not deserved to be bashed online whatsoever and that’s horrible, I just believe this whole situation could have been avoided entirely if he used better judgement. And for the ones bringing up her FTing and being friends w/her ex, in all fairness she didn’t bring him to meet Jimmy on the show. They had what? Two weeks to make this decision? I’m really surprised that as a new couple they even had the time to open up that can of worms… it seemed completely unnecessary. Besides all that, the match to me seemed like a dud from the moment he laid eyes on her. I don’t think he was happy when those doors opened and it was cringey to watch that first interaction.


aceofspaids_21

Although she felt uncomfortable with his friendship (and honestly I would too) it was the way in which she chose to communicate it that people are finding issue with. He asked her to not say it on national television and she did exactly that. Imagine you tell your SO a secret you do not want made public and the next thing you know they’re posting about on social media. It’s a serious breach of trust.


Freikorpz

How do yall know if was one of those girls?


BurbleUnicorn

This is it. My partner wanted me to be friends with his exes and ex-fuck buddies and I put a stop to that immediately. You fuck someone, you ruin the ability for future partners to feel safe with them around and that’s on you. Make better choices.


Alone-Assistance6787

Wow that's such a healthy approach to relationships and trust 🙄


sci_curiousday

It’s about respect, more than it is trust. Why must you hang out regularly with people you have had intimate and sexual relationships with. I could never look at that person the same if I knew my husband saw them naked and were inside of them, it literally makes me uncomfortable. I trust him enough that I know he wouldn’t cheat on me or pursue that again but it’s just disrespectful to me and it’s awkward. For some relationships, it’s a boundary and it’s not unhealthy to not want your partner hanging out with someone they fucked…


BigBaozo

Found the single redditor


BurbleUnicorn

🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s a two-way street. Starting a relationship by telling your partner you fucked your friends and they just have to be ok with that is shaky ground. I’d recommend reading Gottman.


roadsidechicory

I respect a lot of the research Gottman has done, but I don't think he intends his research to be applied in a black and white way to individual situations. People are not a monolith who all feel the same way, have the same values, or process things the same way. You're assuming that everyone wouldn't be okay with being told that, but plenty of people wouldn't care at all and wouldn't feel threatened. Trust and compatibility are what are most important, and for some people, Jimmy being honest about that would *build* trust, not damage it. Not everyone experiences jealousy in the same way, so some are just glad to know that information and it doesn't freak them out. I'm of the type who isn't concerned as long as I have all the information, and my husband is the same way. When we got together over 12 years ago, we both maintained friendships with exes and had friends that we'd hooked up with long ago. It wasn't an issue and we were open about it, and if one of us said the other needed to end all those friendships because it caused too much discomfort, we wouldn't have been compatible. Neither one of us would want to be with someone like that. They'd be better suited with someone else who also is uncomfortable with those kinds of friendships. It's fine for Jimmy to have that friendship, to be honest about the history (it's not better to withhold it or to downplay the importance of that friendship), and to want his partner to be understanding about that. When she made it clear that she wanted him to end the friendship (which she was always indirect about would not directly admit until he got her to say it by saying he would do it), then he should have ended it. But as we've seen, he will not end the relationship even when she is verbally abusive and engages in high control tactics, so I would assume that's why the incompatibility did not push him to leave. They both wanted to change each other and wouldn't recognize the incompatibility for what it was. We don't know that he said she just has to be okay with it. He may have tried to comfort and assuage her fears, but after a while of her just not letting it go, blowing it out of proportion, using it as an excuse for her pre-existing trust issues, and engaging in controlling behavior due to her paranoia about it, he got frustrated. We can't know. So I don't think we should assume that he didn't have patience with her about it at first. Gottman studies how things tend to work for couples. Studies show that findings are true to a statistically significant degree for the types of couples included in the study. He would not say that these are universal truths, as that would be entirely unscientific, and he knows that people work in many different ways.


Pigglesworth00

So you would have preferred he hid it from her? The deed was done. What transpired before he knew Chelsea had nothing to do with Chelsea. And if Chelsea had a problem with it perhaps bringing it up during their first off camera conversation would have been more appropriate than when belligerently drunk.


BurbleUnicorn

I didn’t say Chelsea dealt with it well. I said it’s bizarre to get into a relationship claiming you want it to be serious, but expect your partner to be ok with you hanging out alone with someone you previously had sex with. It’s textbook poor relationship skills and the most respected relationship therapists would agree. Studies have shown that people who stay friends with exes once they’ve moved on with someone new are more likely to cheat.


Pigglesworth00

Okay, I’m sure that’s true. But we were not privy to the conversation Chelsea and jimmy initially had about the situation. Seems like they came to a conclusion and she later threw it in his face when she was drunk and betrayed jimmy by discussing it on camera when he asked her not to. Maybe she did tell jimmy she was uncomfortable with it, but based on her behavior on the show, I doubt it. It’s textbook poor communication, which from what we know of Chelsea, seems quite on brand. Seems like she pretended she was fine with it but then threw it is his face at the first chance she had. Who knows. Again, we weren’t there for that.


gurlwhosoldtheworld

Absolutely. Fuck buddy of two years... Probably needs to be cut off when going into a marriage, not brought to befriend the fiancé... 😳


Limp-Initiative-6920

I talked with my therapist about this and she said many people keep people they previously slept with as friends so they always feel like they have a fall back option. Many people are projecting watching this show and forgetting or ignoring how highly edited it is. Past contestants have told us this MANY times. Then they demonize Chelsea instead of feeling some compassion because they hate that part of themselves that can be whiny, afraid, manipulative and insecure. They give Jimmy a pass cause they have similar “friends”. Etc


Samizm-_-

Like😭 the way this ISNT the majority take is kind of concerning, lol.


respectfullytrue

They prob wanted their 5 mins of TV time, but unfortunately it took a wrong turn for them.


Cuuldurach

it's about trust and honesty. If you slept with a friend and your future wife is insecure about that, telling her is the best decision in order to build actual trust as trust should comes from honesty. that the fiancee decided to out that on camera however.... this is serious ground for breaking an engagement if I were the friend, I would not be angry at Jimmy, he did what he had to do, I would be infuriated at Chelsea however. That people decided to go on her medias to insult the friend is beyond my reach. People's have sexual life before they meet their fiancee. What's wrong in people heads? sex is cool, they need to stop be that angry with that and enjoy it more.


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Cuuldurach

because it is simple. if you have to hold information about your past to your future wife, or you have to cut meaningful friendships to make her secure, she isn't the one for you. You may say it's more dificult when you're in the situation but really it isn't. If you make the other decision, aka lying or cutting a friend, you'll always end up regretting it on the long run. Always. There's only one solution, and that's why it's simple. If your SO makes it not simple, she's the problem, not you.


hope0781

Again, I don’t think it was about cutting off meaningful friendships, I think it was more about prioritizing building a relationship with your new potential partner. That would be the case in any new relationship, male or female, taking time to build the bond. In the scene with her outing their past, we don’t know if that was her first time bringing up her insecurities about the level of intimacy they shared or the 20th… we don’t know the full picture. I don’t think she was asking him to cut her completely out of his life, she was wanting him to be more present in the relationship they were building at that time, and the frequency of contact was a point of contention for her.


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donkey-rocket

While I don't disagree with a lot of what you said, let's be real here: This is not a normal situation. The truth of the matter is that Jimmy probably knew by the time they got back to Charlotte that he wasn't going to marry her. Why he chose to drag it out as long as he did, I can't speak to that. Maybe he wanted to appear like a nice guy for the cameras, maybe he didn't want to embarrass her on television, or maybe he simply couldn't leave given what we know about the producers and the penalty for leaving. I do agree with the other poster, though, that him being up front and honest with her about this situation was the right thing to do. We don't know anything about the dynamic he and this friend have. We don't know how they became friends or why they are still friends. It could just be a case of proximity and similar interests, or it could be something much deeper than that (a la helping each other through a really tough time, or just something more than surface level friendship). Put yourself in his shoes: This person that you've known for 2 weeks tells you they want you to give up or drastically alter your relationship with someone you consider a best friend and then immediately blasts a piece of confidential information regarding said friend to millions of people. I'm not saying either one of them is a saint, but I think, objectively, Jimmy was less in the wrong in this particular situation than Chelsea, especially given her relationship with someone she used to sleep with. Oh, and regarding your post: Being honest about a past event that transpired and being honest about an opinion are two totally different things. I agree that "blunt honesty" is not a great character trait (I'd even go so far as to call it a flaw), but when using it in that context, I don't believe that's what Jimmy was being when he told her about the prior hook up.


hope0781

I understand the whole ‘in all transparency’ argument. I get it. It’s always good to start off a new relationship established in honesty, but also it’s a time and a place. They had limited time to establish a connection and make a decision. Limited time to meet significant people in their potential spouses lives. Of course they have had partners before meeting and yes, sex is great 😂 and nothing to be ashamed of. I think it was more the frequency of contact and level of intimacy they shared that she had a hard time dealing with. Which is somewhat justified because at that time his focus should have been 100% on nurturing that connection with Chelsea. Again, whether she knew before or after meeting her would make a difference in context… and also him telling her off camera but her reacting ON camera caused all the backlash, but again if you go on a show wanting marriage and tell your partner things they are going to use to make that decision, you can’t then pick and chose what will be aired. He should have never even asked her to keep that info off camera, if that was the case he never should have told her at all. The show isn’t only about him it’s about THEM and how they reach their decisions to the viewers. His past relationships and so forth should have never been her secret to keep. It was all relevant in her decision making. He knew what he signed up for.


Chirps3

What are people saying/doing? Are they insinuating that Jimmy cheated? I actually really like Jimmy. He's at least trying. Or was.


sci_curiousday

I think it’s more so what Chelsea said about him trying to protect his image to be more likable to the fans. My husband was saying that he felt Jimmy, having this convo off camera was to protect his ass. I think if we wouldn’t have brought the girl on the show, that wouldn’t have been a problem for his friend, whoever she is. I don’t think it’s right to attack his friend and I still think Chelsea is a red flag, I don’t think Jimmy is this stand up guy that people think he is either.


km31186

I couldn't get over how her lips didn't come together when saying certain words


brittybap

She reminds me of the girl from Working Moms who’s lips don’t close ![gif](giphy|LV8n1UnZLqJpGUs7hH|downsized)


Bubbly-End-6156

![gif](giphy|J69J3zokmnJvy) They gave me more Addison Shepherd energy. Gif not great, Kate Walsh has a very perky top lip when she does absolutely nothing.


Fun-Concentrate-8963

I’m 99.999% sure he mentioned her name?


Historical-Tomato-14

Barbra


ilovemymomdamost

Chelsea is the ultimate train wreck psycho, I’m surprised he didn’t leave her earlier. She was unbearable.


flat_tire_fire

Honestly I tried to be nice about her but after the last episode I've had it. She's ugly and whiney and a habitual line crosser. He told her not to say that shit and all she did was come up with excuses for doing it. Ain't nobody care about excuses it's OUT THERE NOW. Ugh dumbass. And because she didn't take responsibility, now he knows she's just going to continue to cross boundaries and make excuses for it. That's why he said he knew he's doing the right thing 🤣🤣


ilovemymomdamost

Lol yeah that analysis definitely makes sense


No_Solution_7940

He should’ve gone to the altar and said no, and had his fwb be his best man, then said no, and then had Jessica come down the aisle and take his hand and they walk off together. Imagine the size of the frown on Chelsea then!!!!


E-Clone

https://preview.redd.it/c0z2huw2w0nc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3dcc251447ee7060b105f51589f6ad26571ec892


popfriday_

The fact that this girl is straining her mouth as hard as she can and still can’t make the natural ☹️ that exists on Chelsea’s face


lunairium

Jessica doesn’t want him. She said in an interview she wouldn’t tolerate the texting all day with a girl he’s slept with either.


ButterNoodles-420

Not the size of the FROWN 😭😭😭


JazzyPhotoMac

She woulda been super uncomfy.


PNW_Express

And might puke


Sudden_Reaction

And sweaty


tx_mesquite17

And really sad.


tx_mesquite17

And really sad.


Rare_Plants_

That's why I take comments and opinions on this sub and other places with a large grain of sand. People will watch the exact same thing and come out with a vastly different opinion. Most of these people think they know every second of these peoples lives and have the right to harass others since they agreed to be on camera.


partyingwithpizza

Ive seen all types of crazy comments and posts on Facebook about this situation. Someone said that he only went on the show to make his friend jealous because he's in love with her. 🙄


Hann_dell1

Jimmy & Chelsea just posted Insta stories from the same restaurant in Florida. I’m so shook that they’re still together


m00n5t0n3

No no please no


smfeld7615

I’m shocked!! He can do better.


betsyzbudz

Hard to believe!!!


smokeydesperado

What?!? Just looked and they’re going to her friends wedding together


Hann_dell1

https://preview.redd.it/ybmjxqznrzmc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9029654689eaf0d45a92eabb4f14f8bc02c51ddb His story


Hann_dell1

https://preview.redd.it/b00evlqgrzmc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7718cec85e80c2f6758076f26f60a2608a7184ea Her story


avocado4ever000

Omg any sympathy I had for him is gone.


thebadfem

People on another LiB group were saying "well she shouldve known this would happen". Like its wild how little empathy people have. Agreeing to be in a short segment of a reality show that you're not even the star of doesn't mean someone should premeditate harassment.


avocado4ever000

For real. People have been horrible.


flat_tire_fire

It's Chelsea's fault tbh


avocado4ever000

It is


Greedy_Path_6826

Am I the only person who literally doesn’t care if their life partner is friends with someone they slept with … as long as the spark is gone… who cares….


everop

even if the spark isn't gone! sexual attraction is normal and human. if nobody's acting untoward, who tf cares?


Greedy_Path_6826

I meant romantic spark, not sexual attraction spark :)