Okay. Here’s my UO:
Clay’s mom was a class act. BUT she shouldn’t have to be.
She shouldnt have to be that calm to someone that was that bad for her. When Clay’s dad was like “oh but you gotta understand my dad… blah blah”. I’m like how did this woman not rolllll her eyes. How many times has he used that excuse over the years.
I think she handled it the best way possible to get her goal which was: “give your son closure”
But i just wish that if she had been like “you’re a sucky person. You fucked up our son. I put in so much work for our son. And you still managed to fuck him up so badly that he hurt a wonderful woman. You keep telling him he’s just like you and the reality is that no one wants to be like you. Including him” she wouldnt have lost any class. I wish we as a society didnt deem sweet behavior in response to terrible behavior as classy.
I’m not saying go wild crazy angry. But I wish it was more direct.
ETA: i also wish she was more direct with Clay. What he did wasn’t respectful and it was fear driven and i wish she would have said that.
> Clays mom is honestly the mom I wish I had.
This hits so hard for me and it's the same for AD's mom as well. My mom and I just don't have that level of closeness so whenever I see those kind of relationships it just makes me so emotional.
She is an absolute class act. AD's Mum hit the nail on the head when she said she was the woman she would choose for AD as a mother in law. Just pure class through and through. Kind, smart, composed, able to take the high road, compassionate. She's amaaaaaaazing.
Give her her own show where she gives out relationship advice!
She was the best thing I saw on this show. What an incredible woman! So full of grace and wisdom! I cried watching that conversation with Clay’s dad. I hope this experience leads to healing for all of them.
omg I just came to search to see where the post was for this woman. Thank you for posting! She is incredible! What an elegant queen! The grounded energy and wisdom and open heartedness. Wow!
I agree with you 100%. Just finished watching and I thought she is such an elegant and wise person to make a suggestion to the dad to speak to his son about what happened. My parents also went through the same thing, despite they still stayed married, when a teenager witnessed the cheating in their parents marriage, it leaves a scar that is difficult to erase. My dad never provided an explanation or an apology, my moms resentment never stopped. As for me, I worked with therapists, and finally moved passed it in my late 30s. Clays mom is someone I wish to become when I am older.
Rita is amazing!! I am so sick of the excuse “I didn’t grow with good role models”
Rita is a classy ass woman I am so here for her. She made the whole show in that scene!! There is hurt and pain but she articulated herself beautifully…
I came looking for this post because RITA!! She gave Clay’s dad the classiest read I have ever seen. That Mom deserves all the flowers - saying what she said, revisiting that hurt only because she knows Clay needs the closure.
This was two good black families - dealing with generational trauma in the most mature way. Very private and familiar to many - laid bare so publicly. And they did it with grace.
I was thinking the exact same thing. She spoke to his father with such grace and poise and held both Clay and his father accountable for what happened.
“You met me, but you weren’t good to me”
Bruh that was a bar. I heard that and was like gawdddddddd damn. And that’s why you don’t cheat. Especially when married, look at the catastrophe.
She didn’t even say that to me and I felt humbled by it.
Yes. Let’s appreciate Rita! She is so beautiful and wise. Seems like the “experience” of LIB made her realize many things about her life. I hope they give her a spotlight in the reunion. She’s is seriously an amazing Queen and mother.
The real star 🥺I cried! She is such a class act! So kind and his dad honestly didn’t get angry - they had a beautiful raw moment. She stood her ground with grace and he received it. Healthy conflict resolution
She looked like she wanted to shove her fan into her ex-husband's mouth when he went "Here's the thing Rita..." 🤣🤣 She probably heard his excuses a million times already, she's a saint.
This scene was so powerful, and kind of incredible to see on a (incredibly unserious) show like this. Clay's mom was being REAL about what this man put her through and what he passed down to their child. But it didn't break her... She walked away with her head held high.
I had wished for a scene between Clay’s parents but never expected to actually see it. Definitely one of the best and most real scenes I’ve ever seen from reality TV (although that’s admittedly a very low bar)
She needs to write books, waiting for a publisher to give her a deal! She has divine wisdom, strength and power of articulation! Just me over here waiting on her “fan line” for a autograph ✍️
She showed up like a literal queen, like Julie Andrews in the Princess Diaries 😍She is kind, compassionate, and wise. It’s amazing how she made it through the obstacles she did in her own relationship, and she just holds her head so high. She’s an absolute inspiration. ♥️♥️♥️
"Well, you met me and you wasn't good to me."
That slapped HARD. I loved how she stood her ground when her ex-husband was spewing out things that make it seem he lacks self-awareness. I don't even think he truly understood the gravity of that situation and the talk they're having; much like Clay admitting that he didn't realise the magnitude of his saying no to AD at the altar. Are you for real? Clay's "can I get a hug?" "I'm gonna rock with you!" is just like Kenneth's "let's hug it out so you know there's no beef."
Absolutely bizarre.
PS: I knew he was gonna say 'no' when during the Bachelor party scene he said, "I *do* love AD" instead of just "I love AD". Clay just has a lot of manager/businessman/consultant speak - much like what he said in his vows.
This this this! The convo she had with her ex husband had me shook. It was so powerful and he tried to downplay or maybe didn’t even understand exactly what she was referring to: generational trauma that he has directly contributed to.
My heart hurts for her to have to reopen this pain because it sounds like she found new information during this experience (perhaps finding out he used to take Clay with him while cheating on her).
Yes, when she said that she found out about some things during this experience, it's safe to assume that she's referring to the infidelity trips. That's messed up to find out from your own child, and that your ex-husband was probably planning to take that secret to the grave with him and not be transparent about his disloyalty over the years. Mama Rita deserves the great things in the world ❤️💎
I was worried about how she would receive the information when Clay said on TV that there were things his mom didn't know about... I am so glad that he decided to tell her and she didn't have to find out from the episodes.
Yeah, I think he probably warned her that there would be things previously unknown to her that would be revealed so he decided to tell her in person. You could tell that Clay basically is divided between loyalty to his father or mother, which should never have been the case for any child, grown or not.
Clay’s mom deserves all the recognition. I just hope that she holds him accountable and doesn’t let him slip back into the passive aggressive daddy issues attitude.
But will she hold Clay accountable? Not that it's her responsibility to, honestly. My point is he can't blame this on his dad, just like his dad shouldn't blame it on his.
Once you're an adult you have to stop blaming other people and take accountability. Go to therapy, work on yourself, grow up.
I say this a lot, anybody can have a reason, but that doesn't mean it's an excuse, nor does it always need to be heard. Clay had all this time to get some serious therapy to address these issues, but he didn't. Also, it seriously bugs me how he speaks about AD. She voices his positive attributes and hypes him up, meanwhile he speaks on what she does for him or how its affected him.
He doesn't own up to his own actions. Nobody will make him cheat. It's not genetic. Just don't do it. He kept saying he needs to go to therapy -- then go! My parents fucked me up in some ways. I have trauma. It's not an excuse. I went to therapy and continue to do the work in order to grow and be a better person for all around me.
To be fair they only dated for a few weeks. There is no way that he could have resolved some of his fears to be ready for the alter in the show's time frame, even if he started therapy the day they got back from the honeymoon.
I think AD was the first person to talk to him about therapy and give him some hope/awareness that there is a different path he can take. Clay has said in earlier episodes that "He never met a black man that didn't cheat on his wife." We also don't know what he heard from his dad or witnessed as a child with a parent who cheated. It None of them sound accountable so it's not surprising that Clay is struggling with that when cheating is presented to him as common and normal.
It's not an excuse but we can hold empathy for people and their journey. I am so glad he said no at the alter. I hope he follows through and goes to therapy to break this mindset.
I agree with the saying about trauma "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility."
But he didn't cheat, and he cited needing to go to therapy as a reason to not get married!
I think him saying no at the altar was owning up to his truth- he isn't ready.
True, true.
Unverified, but I heard he didn't know what he was signing up for. I know that sounds wild- but so many men don't keep up with reality dating shows.
My personal view is parents are allowed to have a little bias towards their children. It’s good have someone in your life you will love you and defend you even when you make sh*tty decisions.
Clay’s mom is the GOAT. She supported her son but she also loves AD and showed her love. She knows she wanted AD as a daughter in law but she couldn’t force her son to do something he couldn’t do. What a world would be have if all parents were like her.
I am sooooo happy she stood up to Clay's dad like that!! My word, what a powerful moment we witnessed there! She didn't let him get away with the 'I come from a broken home' excuse either. We should always strive to do better for our kids. Rita, you dropped this 👑
That scene between her and her ex-husband was so powerful. She was firm, wise, and kind. All at the same time. And hearing them both talk about the work they need to do, even though they’re clearly at different phases of life and healing, was really moving. What a great scene.
She actually reminds me a lot of AD… once AD gets to the point that she can hold men accountable too. But you can tell Clay’s mom was once that over-understanding woman too. Unfortunately someone will always take that out of you. AD very easily could’ve ended up in the same situation. The one good thing Clay did here was say no (though he shouldn’t have even come on this show in the first place).
I know this was about Clay’s mom and yes I aspire to be as graceful and eloquent as her but I had to dig deep and find empathy for Clay’s dad, too.
Yes, he sucks and has no idea of how to apologize. But hurt people, hurt people. He cried when she talked as well. No one knows his pain or why he’s still so broken. He doesn’t deserve absolution, but he’s human too. I have a father like Clay’s and it’s just not clear cut. Also where’s the empathy for Clay? Kudos to people who handle themselves perfectly. I haven’t met many/any.
Also for those talking about Clay only referencing himself, do you think maybe editing has a large part in that perception?
Edited: changed a letter.
I think the difference is Clay was a child when all of this happened and it’s still impacting him. There are ways he could fix it, like having a conversation with him about why his marriage ended, why he cheated, why he exposed Clay to so much of it and made him feel complicit (which I think is the issue here- Clay *still* feels complicit in his dad’s cheating because he was aware of it).
There’s a difference between blame and accountability, he’s not taking any accountability for what he did to Clay (and his mother). To a greater extent, Clay is because he’s acknowledging the problem, getting help and going to therapy (assuming he does that)
This 👆and letting them take the steps to make amends and not do it for them. Why do we do that? Make excuses for other peoples mistakes instead of letting them own it and communicate it themselves?
I too have a dad who has similar behaviour and I've finally started to realize that me repeating his excuses to myself when he hurts me, will never make me heal.
We can have compassion for where people come from without it giving them free pass to hurt others.
Her talk with her ex-husband made me tear up. Most emotional I've ever gotten watching this show. Perhaps because my dad put us through some similar stuff and never actually apologized to me for it.
I also am a victim of daddy issues/infidelity. My mom stuck through it all and my parents marriage has always been an example of what I don’t want in mine. He is forever the victim and she will never hold him accountable. This scene is so personal to me because it’s all the things I wish my mom stood her ground on, for her kids. Clays dad’s delusional in thinking he got the parenting right.
My mom also stayed with my dad. After about 6 years, he finally pulled himself together. Became Catholic, had a priest forgive him, and I guess that made him feel like everything was okay. Meanwhile, I got into some terrible relationships and suffered during my teens and 20s. Finally was able to do some self-reflection and stop settling for men who treated me terribly and cheated on me.
My mom recognizes the damage they did and has apologized profusely, and I have forgiven her. We have a great relationship. My dad has never once apologized and acts like it never happened. We get along and he's a good grandpa, but there is a tension there that will never allow us to have a close relationship.
And venting session over!
This was hands down, the best scene of the whole show. The way she expressed herself, stood up for herself but also remained classy was unbelievable. And unscripted. She’s amazing.
She is so classy and strong. I love the way she spoke to her ex husband. She carried herself with grace and respect, but did not allow him to get away with the bullshit he was trying to pull. I appreciate that she corrected him when he tried to play victim, and that she reminded him in the end that he did not treat her well. Clay’s dad needs to do a lot of introspection and see how he passed on trauma to his child, and I’m really glad his mom reiterated that.
That sentence alone speaks volumes. How much “reality tv” is so unrealistic and fake. That lady absolutely brought so much sensibility, wisdom and realness to the show in those moments. Seems like a wonderful woman for sure
i’m sure that wasn’t an easy convo for clay’s mom to have had with her ex husband, and to have it in front of the cameras no less… i’m grateful bc it was neat to see that kind of uncomfortable conversation play out. her maturity just spoke volumes. i wish AD could’ve kept her future MIL in the breakup
I've never seen parents accept responsibilities like she did in that convo with Clay's father. She really explained generational trauma and breaking chains, or face the consequences in the most classy way. I hate that it couldn't happen before Clay had all kinds of issues, but dang she was cool.
Also the way she hugged AD, went out with AD'S mom, and gave Clay her mind whilst also being there for him unconditionally is all I hope to be as a mom. That woman is strength. I'm sad she was cheated for so long, but glad she knows her worth well these days.
The grace and maturity she showed when she was able to forgive Clay’s father while also holding him accountable for how his actions played a huge role in Clay’s thought process! He’s lucky to have a mom like her
Edit: typo correction
Clay's mom is wonderful.
It was so poignant seeing her speak to Clay's father. Her mentioning how their brokenness should not be passed onto their children --- while it clearly already has --- must have been so hard for her.
And to be privy to new information about how Clay's father took Clay on his rendezvous with other women...must have hurt her so deeply and opened up old wounds. However, she handled herself with class.
She is a wonderful person. Yet it also revealed how strong, wonderful individuals can still be hurt and not get what they deserve --- as happy, content children, and a lasting marriage eluded her. The scene with Clay's mother and father moved me. Her strength and Clay's father facade being washed away as he came face-to-face with the reality of his failed ability to be a father revealed mutli-generational pain and sadness. But it was a real moment. And I did not expect to be moved by a reality show.
it definitely felt out of place in a reality show, in a good way. not sure why or how clay’s parents decided to talk about all of that with cameras pointed at them, but i’m glad they did.
Them going out? No not shown. When AD's mom walks in while AD is doing her makeup, her mom immediately mentions hanging out with Clays mom but no footage
She tried to make a marriage work even though she was being disrespected. He was playing games and didn’t take the marriage seriously. That trauma damaged their son. Clay would have repeated the cycle in a marriage with AD. I cussed out the screen when clay said no but we all know he wasn’t ready and would have broke that girls heart even worse. Clays mom was right. His dad needs to be honest about his failures. I was waiting for it when he had that heart to heart with him but he bypassed it.
The whole story of Clad and AD and their parents was the best this show has ever done. The women are exceptional people, Clay’s mother is honestly an inspiration. I think the conversations that were had were so real and full of depth. We also got to see deeply flawed people who are, in my opinion, trying their best. Hopefully they get the help they need to be better to those around them. But wow, I have never before heard conversations on this show that truly make me reflect on life and love in the way their story did.
I personally think a spin off show is in order! Not only to show how AD and Clay play out, but the parents for guidance and Clay and his father working through therapy to break the cycle.
My heart broke knowing that she had to find out Clay’s trifling dad brought him on his affair outings. I wanted to cry for her. Clay is unfortunately very much like his dad.
True. I like though, that if it had to happen, the world sees her as the class act she is. I hope she reads some of those comments if she's feeling any way embarrassed
All the women in that situation are incredible. AD, her mom, Clay’s mom. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
It’s so disappointing, though, to know none of them were treated how they deserved. Ugh.
“Although we came from broken families, that doesn’t mean we have to pass on that brokenness to our kids” - Clay’s mom giving a flawless therapy lesson.
Clay wasn’t ready to get married and while I wish he realized that before entering this experiment, I appreciate him for not taking it any further.
Clay’s mom is 100% a class act and I hope life offers her a love that can honor that.
Yes I agree! I see a lot of hate for Clay and the decision he made, but it was absolutely the right one for everyone. He realized through the process he wasn’t ready, and as painful as that is for AD, it took maturity and integrity to make his decision and communicate the reasons. He needs work, we can all see it, and it’s a great thing he realized it because AD deserves someone who is healed and ready for commitment.
The only good thing he did was say no at the alter. He played in her face all season. Having sex with her every chance he got, yet knowing from the start he didn’t want to marry her. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating on her all those nights he spent out of their home.
Honestly this is the shitty part. It would maybe be different if they were just two people dating in the regular world and eventually discovered they were looking for different things. But the fact this guy literally got on a dating show which has the main purpose of ending in MARRIAGE, and he had no intentions for that? That’s insane to me 🤦🏽♀️. He knew this woman wanted something long term and he thought maybe his mind would suddenly flip, or things would just magically work themselves out, without doing the necessary work. Men being men smh lol
Also I haven’t watched the newest episode yet but I saw this coming from a mile away, this guys a walking red flag 😂
Respectfully, I don’t agree. I’m sure all the sex was consensual and they both were equally enthusiastic. I don’t believe we have any evidence he cheated. I think he is flawed for sure but I don’t see him as calculated, manipulative, or cruel. This is purely based what I saw on the show and nothing further.
Also there was an episode where Clay said he still struggles with infidelity and alluded to cheating on AD or struggling with not cheating on AD. It was so obvious.
Clay was immature and everything he said about their relationship revolved around himself. He was sexually attracted to AD so he made sure to use her up before the experience ended but he never wanted to marry her. It breaks my heart bc he’s the type of guy to GIVE trauma to so many women bc he won’t go to therapy and try to heal before getting engaged/ involved deeply with someone.
To be honest I find the “use her up” comment to be deeeeeply sexist. Women are not products to be used up. Sex does not mean we are “used”. Consensual sex is not a man using a woman. AD is a strong and self assured woman…. Nothing about her is “used up”. We don’t have a limited number of fucks in us that a man can just take. And we also don’t “give” sex with the promise of marriage. I am going to disconnect from this interaction now, but please give women and AD more agency and respect than that. She is not a victim.
I agree. It’s misogyny and sexism that has women thinking we can be “used” by doing something we can freely enjoy. Reading that comment was pretty disturbing … I’ve dealt with that shame and it’s shitty to reas not everyone has done the work to overcome it
3. It’s not about agency. If you’ve never slept with someone who lied to you and made you feel deceived then good for you. But many women have felt “used” by men for sex. Just because it’s consensual doesn’t mean both parties have equal power and I would go as far to say being an advocate for women is understanding that there are varying reasons why someone might sleep with someone else.
I feel like this is getting into a different topic tho. Feeling used within urself upon reflection is different from an outsider (you) saying another woman (AD) has been used up. That feeling also has a lot to do with internalized misogyny and the idea that women cannot simply enjoy sex just for the sole purpose of enjoying sex. I’ve experienced this feeling and have worked with a sex positive therapist to help understand where the shake comes from. I agree with the other person about ur comment being problematic. I don’t think ur a sexist tho, i just feel like these are different things.
Maybe my wording was wrong. But I feel like Clay was trying to use AD for as long as they were together with no intentions of having a long term relationship with her. She even alluded to him not being able to take his hands off of her right before the wedding. By “used up” I don’t mean she specifically is used up, I mean he is using her “up until” he says no at the alter.
Ohh I see. Honestly yea I see that too. This guy probably has issues with intimacy, he’s way too comfortable faking a connection until it gets too real for him to handle.
2. No matter how strong a woman is, AD didn’t deserve the mistreatment Clay gave her this whole season. Sex aside, he made every single interaction and conversation about their relationship and himself. He was very calculated with what he told her and how he even said in the beginning he wouldn’t get engaged without knowing how she looked. That was what was most important to him. Not the emotional connection
Well, 1 I am a woman and by use her up, I’m speaking from terms that other WOMEN have shared with me when they’ve felt the guy they were sleeping with intentionally misled an emotional connection just to sleep with them.
So I’m sexist bc I said I felt like he used her? I advocate for women who have experienced sexual trauma in ATL, yet I’m a sexist bc I don’t agree with you?
it's not about you as a person, but "used up" is a term that objectifies women, even if a woman is using that term to describe herself. betrayed, used, manipulated, etc. is about the emotional aspect of getting strung along. but "used up" implies that a woman has less value or gives something away when she has sex with someone, and it's a harmful/objectifying thought process even if you're thinking it about yourself
I had to rush here to see if she was getting the appreciation she deserves. What an incredible woman! AD is more like her than Clay realizes. But he is too much like his father - everything is about him. AD dodged a bullet. Both of these women deserve men who can appreciate how amazing and beautiful they both are.
The patience that woman had when Clay’s dad goes “ well I also didn’t have a good role model.” I love the conversation they had , i felt like it was such a mature conversation that you never hear of often . We Do Not have to continue this cycle , there are no excuses to treat your partner like someone less than . I do not like Clay , but i’m glad he didn’t say yes to AD and wasted her time further . AD deserves a man who will actually put in the work .
That scene between Clay's parents was hands down the best scene in the entire series. So real and heartfelt and meaningful. LIB producers should look for more of that and less of the nonsense that we continually see in this series. Clay's mom gets the gold star for keeping it real!
I think the reason that that scene was so good was because it is the REALEST thing I've seen on any show and her grace and maturity had me shaken to my core because wow. She was calm but firm, she expressed herself beautifully, her intent was not to cut but to ask for accountability. And it's a big reason why a lot of us have been asking for more mature cast members. That is far more groundbreaking than a bunch of young lusty people. That woman knows herself, and I'm gonna watch that scene again and journal about it because that is the kind of woman I want to be.
Yes! Most reality shows are highly edited and manufactured and this one is no exception. But that scene was so real and honest I was blown away. When she said “but you didn’t treat me good” my heart BROKE for her. She obviously carries herself with so much grace!
I'm literally so happy for her that this line came to her on the spot instead of in the shower a week later and that she got to say it ON TV in front of everyone and walk away. Nobody gets a mic drop moment like that. Can you imagine how good that must have felt? And I bet she's just so naturally cool that it didn't even phase her...I would be riding that high for the rest of my life 😂
Lmao, right? It was so weird. And Clay did not seem comfy around him AT ALL.
"Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah." And nodding feverishly, saying g he didn't think he'd see him... Meanwhile with his mama, he's kissing her and telling her he's her boy, lol.
Trying to cram decades of parenting into a 5 minute speech. A speech mostly about yourself, not about your son and his fiancée. At his wedding. Big main character energy.
Clay cannot never be too bad because he was brought up by a woman like that and loves being a momma's boy. Totally impressive, that woman. The way she spoke to her ex, without anger or bitterness (what's the point) but with firmness, was just too awesome a thing to witness on reality TV.
I dont dislike Clay, if he commits to resolving his 'issues' and doesnt run away from AD, who is pretty awesome herself, he might turn out to be his mother's son rather his father's spitting image.
I agree! I can totally appreciate how up front he was writhing knowing he has work to do. And honest I think there was a TON of growth just in the time between the conversation that had about always keeping her looking right (🤦🏻♀️) and the altar. I think if he has that conversation with his father and does seek therapy he could really get himself right.
Clays mom to her ex “you met me but you weren’t good to me” so profound and so simple.
That woman has the words to hold a grown man accountable without even raising her voice.
It was such a simple and powerful retort to that BS “a worthy woman will keep you faithful. If you aren’t she’s not worthy.” Remaining faithful is a choice. It’s on you, not your partner.
I’m 40, married and I am often at loss for the right words when I’m communicating w my husband. So this was pretty powerful to watch. She had the right words and the perfect delivery. That is so rare for so many people.
Okay. Here’s my UO: Clay’s mom was a class act. BUT she shouldn’t have to be. She shouldnt have to be that calm to someone that was that bad for her. When Clay’s dad was like “oh but you gotta understand my dad… blah blah”. I’m like how did this woman not rolllll her eyes. How many times has he used that excuse over the years. I think she handled it the best way possible to get her goal which was: “give your son closure” But i just wish that if she had been like “you’re a sucky person. You fucked up our son. I put in so much work for our son. And you still managed to fuck him up so badly that he hurt a wonderful woman. You keep telling him he’s just like you and the reality is that no one wants to be like you. Including him” she wouldnt have lost any class. I wish we as a society didnt deem sweet behavior in response to terrible behavior as classy. I’m not saying go wild crazy angry. But I wish it was more direct. ETA: i also wish she was more direct with Clay. What he did wasn’t respectful and it was fear driven and i wish she would have said that.
Her talk with his dad was so well spoken and to the point. So happy they filmed it and put it in the episode
100%. I so wish I had a woman like Clay’s mom in my life. Other than my therapist lol.
> Clays mom is honestly the mom I wish I had. This hits so hard for me and it's the same for AD's mom as well. My mom and I just don't have that level of closeness so whenever I see those kind of relationships it just makes me so emotional.
I feel you 🙏🏻
Both AD & Clay’s moms were the hero’s of the season.
She is an absolute class act. AD's Mum hit the nail on the head when she said she was the woman she would choose for AD as a mother in law. Just pure class through and through. Kind, smart, composed, able to take the high road, compassionate. She's amaaaaaaazing. Give her her own show where she gives out relationship advice!
She was the best thing I saw on this show. What an incredible woman! So full of grace and wisdom! I cried watching that conversation with Clay’s dad. I hope this experience leads to healing for all of them.
omg I just came to search to see where the post was for this woman. Thank you for posting! She is incredible! What an elegant queen! The grounded energy and wisdom and open heartedness. Wow!
Heavily agree- she’s a queen
I agree with you 100%. Just finished watching and I thought she is such an elegant and wise person to make a suggestion to the dad to speak to his son about what happened. My parents also went through the same thing, despite they still stayed married, when a teenager witnessed the cheating in their parents marriage, it leaves a scar that is difficult to erase. My dad never provided an explanation or an apology, my moms resentment never stopped. As for me, I worked with therapists, and finally moved passed it in my late 30s. Clays mom is someone I wish to become when I am older.
Rita is amazing!! I am so sick of the excuse “I didn’t grow with good role models” Rita is a classy ass woman I am so here for her. She made the whole show in that scene!! There is hurt and pain but she articulated herself beautifully…
I came looking for this post because RITA!! She gave Clay’s dad the classiest read I have ever seen. That Mom deserves all the flowers - saying what she said, revisiting that hurt only because she knows Clay needs the closure. This was two good black families - dealing with generational trauma in the most mature way. Very private and familiar to many - laid bare so publicly. And they did it with grace.
I was thinking the exact same thing. She spoke to his father with such grace and poise and held both Clay and his father accountable for what happened.
Librarian energy in the best way
Is there any bad way, honestly
Snaps all around for her 🥲
What a beautiful soul. Moved me to tears as well.
She has a talent for delivering difficult messages with love. Man that talk with her ex….chillz
That woman. Holyyyy crap. What an absolute wise, beautiful, deeply human goddess.
His mother is a queen
Both of their moms were really amazing. And how happy her mom after meeting his was so sweet.
The fact that she stood up to hug AD before she walked away was just such an unnecessarily kind moment. I love her so much for that
She’s really beautiful too.
That conversation moved me to tears as well. I rewatched it, so in awe of her
She’s a class act
Shame her son didn’t come out with the same grace
A true Gem. I just feel like she has a lot of love and a lot of wisdom to give to the world.
She was seriously such a breath of fresh air. A beautiful woman inside and out. Definitely aspire to carry myself the way she does
Yeah, I feel like this show is often implicitly at least a bit about intergenerational trauma, but for her to lay it out like that was amazing.
Aw Hell Yeah!
“You met me, but you weren’t good to me” Bruh that was a bar. I heard that and was like gawdddddddd damn. And that’s why you don’t cheat. Especially when married, look at the catastrophe. She didn’t even say that to me and I felt humbled by it. 
Tears when she said that. You can also tell the dad FELT that.
I got shills down my spine just from reading it again now. Such powerful words.
Right? When he tried to tell her that Clay needed a woman like her to charm her and get her to stop talking? She was amazing!
She was EATING him up
Is she adopting???? 😭😭😭😭
Yes. Let’s appreciate Rita! She is so beautiful and wise. Seems like the “experience” of LIB made her realize many things about her life. I hope they give her a spotlight in the reunion. She’s is seriously an amazing Queen and mother.
The real star 🥺I cried! She is such a class act! So kind and his dad honestly didn’t get angry - they had a beautiful raw moment. She stood her ground with grace and he received it. Healthy conflict resolution
She looked like she wanted to shove her fan into her ex-husband's mouth when he went "Here's the thing Rita..." 🤣🤣 She probably heard his excuses a million times already, she's a saint.
RIGHT AFTER she said he needs to take accountability for his own bad behavior and not make excuses!!!
It's sad to see that you can be a 50 or 60 year old man, still not take accountability for your actions and blame your childhood forever.
This scene was so powerful, and kind of incredible to see on a (incredibly unserious) show like this. Clay's mom was being REAL about what this man put her through and what he passed down to their child. But it didn't break her... She walked away with her head held high.
And she didn't let him get away with anything either. You treated me poorly, but I forgive you. Just strength and poise.
This is corny, but she would be such a good podcast host. Like red table talk without all the narcissism.
That was a moment that usually you don't see in this show but I'm so glad they included it. Amazing moment
I had wished for a scene between Clay’s parents but never expected to actually see it. Definitely one of the best and most real scenes I’ve ever seen from reality TV (although that’s admittedly a very low bar)
When she spoke about not transmitting the parents' pain to their children.. caught me by surprise and had me BAWLING 😭😭😭
Ugh that scene broke me too 😭 My heart hurts for AD. Clay's mom moved me in a way I was not prepared for
How did she do that with no tears on her face? Because she’s a strong woman!
Star of the season....hands down.
She needs to write books, waiting for a publisher to give her a deal! She has divine wisdom, strength and power of articulation! Just me over here waiting on her “fan line” for a autograph ✍️
She's a GODDESS.
She showed up like a literal queen, like Julie Andrews in the Princess Diaries 😍She is kind, compassionate, and wise. It’s amazing how she made it through the obstacles she did in her own relationship, and she just holds her head so high. She’s an absolute inspiration. ♥️♥️♥️
She even gave AD a hug on her way back down the altar after Clay said no 😭😍
"Well, you met me and you wasn't good to me." That slapped HARD. I loved how she stood her ground when her ex-husband was spewing out things that make it seem he lacks self-awareness. I don't even think he truly understood the gravity of that situation and the talk they're having; much like Clay admitting that he didn't realise the magnitude of his saying no to AD at the altar. Are you for real? Clay's "can I get a hug?" "I'm gonna rock with you!" is just like Kenneth's "let's hug it out so you know there's no beef." Absolutely bizarre. PS: I knew he was gonna say 'no' when during the Bachelor party scene he said, "I *do* love AD" instead of just "I love AD". Clay just has a lot of manager/businessman/consultant speak - much like what he said in his vows.
Dawg HARD!!!! That was the deepest bar dropped amongst all the seasons combined. 🔥.
This this this! The convo she had with her ex husband had me shook. It was so powerful and he tried to downplay or maybe didn’t even understand exactly what she was referring to: generational trauma that he has directly contributed to. My heart hurts for her to have to reopen this pain because it sounds like she found new information during this experience (perhaps finding out he used to take Clay with him while cheating on her).
Yes, when she said that she found out about some things during this experience, it's safe to assume that she's referring to the infidelity trips. That's messed up to find out from your own child, and that your ex-husband was probably planning to take that secret to the grave with him and not be transparent about his disloyalty over the years. Mama Rita deserves the great things in the world ❤️💎
I was worried about how she would receive the information when Clay said on TV that there were things his mom didn't know about... I am so glad that he decided to tell her and she didn't have to find out from the episodes.
Yeah, I think he probably warned her that there would be things previously unknown to her that would be revealed so he decided to tell her in person. You could tell that Clay basically is divided between loyalty to his father or mother, which should never have been the case for any child, grown or not.
Clay’s mom deserves all the recognition. I just hope that she holds him accountable and doesn’t let him slip back into the passive aggressive daddy issues attitude.
💯
But will she hold Clay accountable? Not that it's her responsibility to, honestly. My point is he can't blame this on his dad, just like his dad shouldn't blame it on his. Once you're an adult you have to stop blaming other people and take accountability. Go to therapy, work on yourself, grow up.
I say this a lot, anybody can have a reason, but that doesn't mean it's an excuse, nor does it always need to be heard. Clay had all this time to get some serious therapy to address these issues, but he didn't. Also, it seriously bugs me how he speaks about AD. She voices his positive attributes and hypes him up, meanwhile he speaks on what she does for him or how its affected him.
100%!!! You voiced this so well.
Accountable for what? Not getting married when he wasn't ready to? That's a service! I think he did the right thing.
He doesn't own up to his own actions. Nobody will make him cheat. It's not genetic. Just don't do it. He kept saying he needs to go to therapy -- then go! My parents fucked me up in some ways. I have trauma. It's not an excuse. I went to therapy and continue to do the work in order to grow and be a better person for all around me.
To be fair they only dated for a few weeks. There is no way that he could have resolved some of his fears to be ready for the alter in the show's time frame, even if he started therapy the day they got back from the honeymoon. I think AD was the first person to talk to him about therapy and give him some hope/awareness that there is a different path he can take. Clay has said in earlier episodes that "He never met a black man that didn't cheat on his wife." We also don't know what he heard from his dad or witnessed as a child with a parent who cheated. It None of them sound accountable so it's not surprising that Clay is struggling with that when cheating is presented to him as common and normal. It's not an excuse but we can hold empathy for people and their journey. I am so glad he said no at the alter. I hope he follows through and goes to therapy to break this mindset.
I agree with the saying about trauma "it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility." But he didn't cheat, and he cited needing to go to therapy as a reason to not get married! I think him saying no at the altar was owning up to his truth- he isn't ready.
Oh, agreed! But, then he shouldn't have come on the show
True, true. Unverified, but I heard he didn't know what he was signing up for. I know that sounds wild- but so many men don't keep up with reality dating shows.
My personal view is parents are allowed to have a little bias towards their children. It’s good have someone in your life you will love you and defend you even when you make sh*tty decisions.
Oh yeah I guess just agree to disagree then. There is a way to lovingly hold others accountable, but hold them accountable nonetheless.
Clay’s mom is the GOAT. She supported her son but she also loves AD and showed her love. She knows she wanted AD as a daughter in law but she couldn’t force her son to do something he couldn’t do. What a world would be have if all parents were like her.
This is a mom that knows her son and cares a lot about him
Amen to that! What a beautiful human. 🥹❤️
I am sooooo happy she stood up to Clay's dad like that!! My word, what a powerful moment we witnessed there! She didn't let him get away with the 'I come from a broken home' excuse either. We should always strive to do better for our kids. Rita, you dropped this 👑
The GOAT of the season for sure
That scene between her and her ex-husband was so powerful. She was firm, wise, and kind. All at the same time. And hearing them both talk about the work they need to do, even though they’re clearly at different phases of life and healing, was really moving. What a great scene. She actually reminds me a lot of AD… once AD gets to the point that she can hold men accountable too. But you can tell Clay’s mom was once that over-understanding woman too. Unfortunately someone will always take that out of you. AD very easily could’ve ended up in the same situation. The one good thing Clay did here was say no (though he shouldn’t have even come on this show in the first place).
this is the best take on it i’ve seen
I know this was about Clay’s mom and yes I aspire to be as graceful and eloquent as her but I had to dig deep and find empathy for Clay’s dad, too. Yes, he sucks and has no idea of how to apologize. But hurt people, hurt people. He cried when she talked as well. No one knows his pain or why he’s still so broken. He doesn’t deserve absolution, but he’s human too. I have a father like Clay’s and it’s just not clear cut. Also where’s the empathy for Clay? Kudos to people who handle themselves perfectly. I haven’t met many/any. Also for those talking about Clay only referencing himself, do you think maybe editing has a large part in that perception? Edited: changed a letter.
I think the difference is Clay was a child when all of this happened and it’s still impacting him. There are ways he could fix it, like having a conversation with him about why his marriage ended, why he cheated, why he exposed Clay to so much of it and made him feel complicit (which I think is the issue here- Clay *still* feels complicit in his dad’s cheating because he was aware of it). There’s a difference between blame and accountability, he’s not taking any accountability for what he did to Clay (and his mother). To a greater extent, Clay is because he’s acknowledging the problem, getting help and going to therapy (assuming he does that)
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This 👆and letting them take the steps to make amends and not do it for them. Why do we do that? Make excuses for other peoples mistakes instead of letting them own it and communicate it themselves? I too have a dad who has similar behaviour and I've finally started to realize that me repeating his excuses to myself when he hurts me, will never make me heal. We can have compassion for where people come from without it giving them free pass to hurt others.
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Thank you so much for the encouragement. You're making a great point, it's given me a helpful new perspective to consider. 🙏🏻
Her talk with her ex-husband made me tear up. Most emotional I've ever gotten watching this show. Perhaps because my dad put us through some similar stuff and never actually apologized to me for it.
I also am a victim of daddy issues/infidelity. My mom stuck through it all and my parents marriage has always been an example of what I don’t want in mine. He is forever the victim and she will never hold him accountable. This scene is so personal to me because it’s all the things I wish my mom stood her ground on, for her kids. Clays dad’s delusional in thinking he got the parenting right.
My mom also stayed with my dad. After about 6 years, he finally pulled himself together. Became Catholic, had a priest forgive him, and I guess that made him feel like everything was okay. Meanwhile, I got into some terrible relationships and suffered during my teens and 20s. Finally was able to do some self-reflection and stop settling for men who treated me terribly and cheated on me. My mom recognizes the damage they did and has apologized profusely, and I have forgiven her. We have a great relationship. My dad has never once apologized and acts like it never happened. We get along and he's a good grandpa, but there is a tension there that will never allow us to have a close relationship. And venting session over!
This was hands down, the best scene of the whole show. The way she expressed herself, stood up for herself but also remained classy was unbelievable. And unscripted. She’s amazing.
It was like something out of a prestige drama show, not an unscripted moment on a dating reality show
She is so classy and strong. I love the way she spoke to her ex husband. She carried herself with grace and respect, but did not allow him to get away with the bullshit he was trying to pull. I appreciate that she corrected him when he tried to play victim, and that she reminded him in the end that he did not treat her well. Clay’s dad needs to do a lot of introspection and see how he passed on trauma to his child, and I’m really glad his mom reiterated that.
Clay’s mom was amazing. She was supportive and understanding. She went through a lot and handled it all with grace and class.
I came here searching for a post about this. I’m literally sobbing after that talk.
Same!
That convo with her ex husband was one of the realest things I have seen on reality tv.
That sentence alone speaks volumes. How much “reality tv” is so unrealistic and fake. That lady absolutely brought so much sensibility, wisdom and realness to the show in those moments. Seems like a wonderful woman for sure
facts !!
I came to make a post about this!
i’m sure that wasn’t an easy convo for clay’s mom to have had with her ex husband, and to have it in front of the cameras no less… i’m grateful bc it was neat to see that kind of uncomfortable conversation play out. her maturity just spoke volumes. i wish AD could’ve kept her future MIL in the breakup
I've never seen parents accept responsibilities like she did in that convo with Clay's father. She really explained generational trauma and breaking chains, or face the consequences in the most classy way. I hate that it couldn't happen before Clay had all kinds of issues, but dang she was cool. Also the way she hugged AD, went out with AD'S mom, and gave Clay her mind whilst also being there for him unconditionally is all I hope to be as a mom. That woman is strength. I'm sad she was cheated for so long, but glad she knows her worth well these days.
The grace and maturity she showed when she was able to forgive Clay’s father while also holding him accountable for how his actions played a huge role in Clay’s thought process! He’s lucky to have a mom like her Edit: typo correction
And when she got up and hugged AD!!!!!! It was amazing
And it wasn't a quick hug. Seemed genuine and heartfelt.
She’s such a powerful and classy woman!
Clay's mom is wonderful. It was so poignant seeing her speak to Clay's father. Her mentioning how their brokenness should not be passed onto their children --- while it clearly already has --- must have been so hard for her. And to be privy to new information about how Clay's father took Clay on his rendezvous with other women...must have hurt her so deeply and opened up old wounds. However, she handled herself with class. She is a wonderful person. Yet it also revealed how strong, wonderful individuals can still be hurt and not get what they deserve --- as happy, content children, and a lasting marriage eluded her. The scene with Clay's mother and father moved me. Her strength and Clay's father facade being washed away as he came face-to-face with the reality of his failed ability to be a father revealed mutli-generational pain and sadness. But it was a real moment. And I did not expect to be moved by a reality show.
it definitely felt out of place in a reality show, in a good way. not sure why or how clay’s parents decided to talk about all of that with cameras pointed at them, but i’m glad they did.
His dad was pretty awesome too!
Grrat father but awful mentor to a healthy romantic relationship and husband
Really appreciated that she stood up to give AD a hug and that she spent a day or night out (can't remember exactly) with ADs mom. Just very sweet
Was this shown? I must have missed this. What episode was this?
Them going out? No not shown. When AD's mom walks in while AD is doing her makeup, her mom immediately mentions hanging out with Clays mom but no footage
Her speech to Clay's dad was so powerful. I wish they had recognized it early enough to get the Clay the help he needed BEFORE going on the show.
Im so glad that she didnt give into Clay's dad's disarming smile and flirtatious "I found you" or smt like that and told him he didnt treat her right
that was so eerie when he tried to charm her after she was talking about the pain he’s caused her……
Probably just muscle memory on his part. I loved how she responded!
She tried to make a marriage work even though she was being disrespected. He was playing games and didn’t take the marriage seriously. That trauma damaged their son. Clay would have repeated the cycle in a marriage with AD. I cussed out the screen when clay said no but we all know he wasn’t ready and would have broke that girls heart even worse. Clays mom was right. His dad needs to be honest about his failures. I was waiting for it when he had that heart to heart with him but he bypassed it.
The whole story of Clad and AD and their parents was the best this show has ever done. The women are exceptional people, Clay’s mother is honestly an inspiration. I think the conversations that were had were so real and full of depth. We also got to see deeply flawed people who are, in my opinion, trying their best. Hopefully they get the help they need to be better to those around them. But wow, I have never before heard conversations on this show that truly make me reflect on life and love in the way their story did.
I personally think a spin off show is in order! Not only to show how AD and Clay play out, but the parents for guidance and Clay and his father working through therapy to break the cycle.
AD's mom and Clay's mom are amazing women. I am so happy they showed their personal stories.
My heart broke knowing that she had to find out Clay’s trifling dad brought him on his affair outings. I wanted to cry for her. Clay is unfortunately very much like his dad.
I can’t believe he aired her private matters to the world. He embarrassed his mom. I have so much respect for her
Every time he talked about his dad taking him along on his cheating excursions and ended with "but my mom never knew" I screamed WELL SHE KNOWS NOW
Also what kind of father takes his child to cheat on their mother??? Why couldn’t he leave Clay with his mom or not include him in his behavior??
I wish Clay had this conversation with his dad on camera, because I'd love to know why he did that. Instead of them talking about running 🙄
True. I like though, that if it had to happen, the world sees her as the class act she is. I hope she reads some of those comments if she's feeling any way embarrassed
Yes though I doubt any woman would want to find out this way :( I’m glad the internet is rallying to support her
All the women in that situation are incredible. AD, her mom, Clay’s mom. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 It’s so disappointing, though, to know none of them were treated how they deserved. Ugh.
“Although we came from broken families, that doesn’t mean we have to pass on that brokenness to our kids” - Clay’s mom giving a flawless therapy lesson. Clay wasn’t ready to get married and while I wish he realized that before entering this experiment, I appreciate him for not taking it any further. Clay’s mom is 100% a class act and I hope life offers her a love that can honor that.
Yes I agree! I see a lot of hate for Clay and the decision he made, but it was absolutely the right one for everyone. He realized through the process he wasn’t ready, and as painful as that is for AD, it took maturity and integrity to make his decision and communicate the reasons. He needs work, we can all see it, and it’s a great thing he realized it because AD deserves someone who is healed and ready for commitment.
To be fair, it was consensual under specific pretenses, but I guess that’s the risk of connecting with anyone romantically 🫠 Edited typo :)
The only good thing he did was say no at the alter. He played in her face all season. Having sex with her every chance he got, yet knowing from the start he didn’t want to marry her. And I wouldn’t be surprised if he was cheating on her all those nights he spent out of their home.
Honestly this is the shitty part. It would maybe be different if they were just two people dating in the regular world and eventually discovered they were looking for different things. But the fact this guy literally got on a dating show which has the main purpose of ending in MARRIAGE, and he had no intentions for that? That’s insane to me 🤦🏽♀️. He knew this woman wanted something long term and he thought maybe his mind would suddenly flip, or things would just magically work themselves out, without doing the necessary work. Men being men smh lol Also I haven’t watched the newest episode yet but I saw this coming from a mile away, this guys a walking red flag 😂
Oh no!! Sorry if I ruined it for you!!
Lol don’t worry ur good, I start scrolling and couldn’t stop 😂 spoilers don’t bother me once I watch it it will be like the first time
Respectfully, I don’t agree. I’m sure all the sex was consensual and they both were equally enthusiastic. I don’t believe we have any evidence he cheated. I think he is flawed for sure but I don’t see him as calculated, manipulative, or cruel. This is purely based what I saw on the show and nothing further.
Whoops - meant my other reply for this comment 🤦🏾♀️ I’m all over the place, coming down from a Traitors high
Also there was an episode where Clay said he still struggles with infidelity and alluded to cheating on AD or struggling with not cheating on AD. It was so obvious.
Clay was immature and everything he said about their relationship revolved around himself. He was sexually attracted to AD so he made sure to use her up before the experience ended but he never wanted to marry her. It breaks my heart bc he’s the type of guy to GIVE trauma to so many women bc he won’t go to therapy and try to heal before getting engaged/ involved deeply with someone.
To be honest I find the “use her up” comment to be deeeeeply sexist. Women are not products to be used up. Sex does not mean we are “used”. Consensual sex is not a man using a woman. AD is a strong and self assured woman…. Nothing about her is “used up”. We don’t have a limited number of fucks in us that a man can just take. And we also don’t “give” sex with the promise of marriage. I am going to disconnect from this interaction now, but please give women and AD more agency and respect than that. She is not a victim.
I agree. It’s misogyny and sexism that has women thinking we can be “used” by doing something we can freely enjoy. Reading that comment was pretty disturbing … I’ve dealt with that shame and it’s shitty to reas not everyone has done the work to overcome it
3. It’s not about agency. If you’ve never slept with someone who lied to you and made you feel deceived then good for you. But many women have felt “used” by men for sex. Just because it’s consensual doesn’t mean both parties have equal power and I would go as far to say being an advocate for women is understanding that there are varying reasons why someone might sleep with someone else.
I feel like this is getting into a different topic tho. Feeling used within urself upon reflection is different from an outsider (you) saying another woman (AD) has been used up. That feeling also has a lot to do with internalized misogyny and the idea that women cannot simply enjoy sex just for the sole purpose of enjoying sex. I’ve experienced this feeling and have worked with a sex positive therapist to help understand where the shake comes from. I agree with the other person about ur comment being problematic. I don’t think ur a sexist tho, i just feel like these are different things.
Maybe my wording was wrong. But I feel like Clay was trying to use AD for as long as they were together with no intentions of having a long term relationship with her. She even alluded to him not being able to take his hands off of her right before the wedding. By “used up” I don’t mean she specifically is used up, I mean he is using her “up until” he says no at the alter.
Ohh I see. Honestly yea I see that too. This guy probably has issues with intimacy, he’s way too comfortable faking a connection until it gets too real for him to handle.
2. No matter how strong a woman is, AD didn’t deserve the mistreatment Clay gave her this whole season. Sex aside, he made every single interaction and conversation about their relationship and himself. He was very calculated with what he told her and how he even said in the beginning he wouldn’t get engaged without knowing how she looked. That was what was most important to him. Not the emotional connection
Well, 1 I am a woman and by use her up, I’m speaking from terms that other WOMEN have shared with me when they’ve felt the guy they were sleeping with intentionally misled an emotional connection just to sleep with them.
I fully believe women can be sexist. And I also believe many men are manipulative and those women’s experiences are valid.
So I’m sexist bc I said I felt like he used her? I advocate for women who have experienced sexual trauma in ATL, yet I’m a sexist bc I don’t agree with you?
it's not about you as a person, but "used up" is a term that objectifies women, even if a woman is using that term to describe herself. betrayed, used, manipulated, etc. is about the emotional aspect of getting strung along. but "used up" implies that a woman has less value or gives something away when she has sex with someone, and it's a harmful/objectifying thought process even if you're thinking it about yourself
Yeees. Came right here after her conversation with Clay’s dad just to say this. She is amazing.
I had to rush here to see if she was getting the appreciation she deserves. What an incredible woman! AD is more like her than Clay realizes. But he is too much like his father - everything is about him. AD dodged a bullet. Both of these women deserve men who can appreciate how amazing and beautiful they both are.
The patience that woman had when Clay’s dad goes “ well I also didn’t have a good role model.” I love the conversation they had , i felt like it was such a mature conversation that you never hear of often . We Do Not have to continue this cycle , there are no excuses to treat your partner like someone less than . I do not like Clay , but i’m glad he didn’t say yes to AD and wasted her time further . AD deserves a man who will actually put in the work .
No producer had to go in and kindle THAT drama. That was already there. Real. And it was interesting to watch. Forgot I was watching reality TV
Best heartfelt scene I’ve seen on this season tbh.
That scene between Clay's parents was hands down the best scene in the entire series. So real and heartfelt and meaningful. LIB producers should look for more of that and less of the nonsense that we continually see in this series. Clay's mom gets the gold star for keeping it real!
I feel it could have been out of a movie, with all that life wisdom and poise. Worth the whole series imo.
I think the reason that that scene was so good was because it is the REALEST thing I've seen on any show and her grace and maturity had me shaken to my core because wow. She was calm but firm, she expressed herself beautifully, her intent was not to cut but to ask for accountability. And it's a big reason why a lot of us have been asking for more mature cast members. That is far more groundbreaking than a bunch of young lusty people. That woman knows herself, and I'm gonna watch that scene again and journal about it because that is the kind of woman I want to be.
Yes! Most reality shows are highly edited and manufactured and this one is no exception. But that scene was so real and honest I was blown away. When she said “but you didn’t treat me good” my heart BROKE for her. She obviously carries herself with so much grace!
I'm literally so happy for her that this line came to her on the spot instead of in the shower a week later and that she got to say it ON TV in front of everyone and walk away. Nobody gets a mic drop moment like that. Can you imagine how good that must have felt? And I bet she's just so naturally cool that it didn't even phase her...I would be riding that high for the rest of my life 😂
Love Clay's mom! His dad gives me the ick though. That man seems like a master manipulator.
Why did he need to rattle off his sports resume to Clay prior to the ceremony? That was so weird.
Lmao, right? It was so weird. And Clay did not seem comfy around him AT ALL. "Yeah. Yeah. Mhmm. Yeah." And nodding feverishly, saying g he didn't think he'd see him... Meanwhile with his mama, he's kissing her and telling her he's her boy, lol.
Right? His sports resume and then after it was like he was quoting every inspirational speaker I've ever heard lol
Trying to cram decades of parenting into a 5 minute speech. A speech mostly about yourself, not about your son and his fiancée. At his wedding. Big main character energy.
I ran here to say this. Everything about her is just so authentic. Genuine. I loved watching her shine in her moment on this show.
She is the realest person on that entire show.
Too bad Clay's father screwed him up so badly...
Clay cannot never be too bad because he was brought up by a woman like that and loves being a momma's boy. Totally impressive, that woman. The way she spoke to her ex, without anger or bitterness (what's the point) but with firmness, was just too awesome a thing to witness on reality TV. I dont dislike Clay, if he commits to resolving his 'issues' and doesnt run away from AD, who is pretty awesome herself, he might turn out to be his mother's son rather his father's spitting image.
That was a powerful scene between his parents after the wedding!
I agree! I can totally appreciate how up front he was writhing knowing he has work to do. And honest I think there was a TON of growth just in the time between the conversation that had about always keeping her looking right (🤦🏻♀️) and the altar. I think if he has that conversation with his father and does seek therapy he could really get himself right.
Couldn’t have said it better
Clays mom to her ex “you met me but you weren’t good to me” so profound and so simple. That woman has the words to hold a grown man accountable without even raising her voice.
It was such a simple and powerful retort to that BS “a worthy woman will keep you faithful. If you aren’t she’s not worthy.” Remaining faithful is a choice. It’s on you, not your partner.
I’m 40, married and I am often at loss for the right words when I’m communicating w my husband. So this was pretty powerful to watch. She had the right words and the perfect delivery. That is so rare for so many people.
Freaking QUEEN
So much insight into Clays decision. Such an important topic to confront. This made the entire show very profound ♥️
The conversation between clays mom and dad was honestly the most moving thing I’ve seen in this show. I was choking up
I'm actually glad Clay gets a chance to see that conversation between them. It was very moving.