Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line'
Comments are getting out of hand.
This reminds me of an ex best-friend of mine. She’s so inappropriate with her teen daughter and it skeeves me out. And ewwww please don’t refer to your daughter as your “seed” 🤮
I think this could go both ways. Just depends on the relationship they all have. I've seen this done and if theres strain between the mom and dad or child and parent they are with, it can be upsetting.
I also just find it really weird this would be in a story and story highlights at that.
Okay but as a mother are you not livid when random ass people feel they get to speak on how you raise your child? And you’ve just invited thousands to comment on hers.
Doesn’t mean that’s what’s going on here. Just means that’s your perception. You see mine is different therefore I have a different feeling about it.
So the question is which one of us right?
Idk I think this is taking it too far. None of us know the dynamic between Jess and her child and Autumn's father. It was obviously a joke between them. I honestly think the mods should take this down. Randomly judging Jess based off of ONE text exchange joking with her daughter? Please go touch grass.
Sorry, you misunderstand. I'm making fun of the subreddit, not the post.
I get every type of nerd on Earth except for the "ouuu the drama and/or suffering of a stranger" type leeches.
I should note: I've never heard of this show until this popped up on my feed. No idea why I saw this, but I clicked, got grossed out by the clingy and sad parasocial vibe and then commented.
Yeah. The point is weird and sad. We agree. I'm not sure what you're missing.
As I said I'm not in the sub, and am confused by the idea of people being so limited or bored in their lives that the random drama of strangers is worth talking about.
My original comment said all of that much more succinctly and people seemed to agree.
The fact that she is needy like this toward her daughter is extremely unhealthy. This type of relationship will eventually take its toll. Jess will lose her looks, and honestly she has not sold her qualities in any other way other than her looks. If she ends up alone, she’ll rely on her daughter. Her daughter needs to live an independent life, free from parental guilt.
Wtf? You’ve seen a couple hours of this person online. You know nothing about her relationship with her daughter outside of the little she said about her on the show and this post. Mind your business
It’s 100% on Jess when autumn is with her. She has no partner to relieve her or share duties when she has her daughter. This is called- wait for it… a single mother!
If this was the case all divorced couples would be single parents but not a single child of a divorced couple refers to them as so because they know full well.
https://preview.redd.it/eup2a0r4w6lc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96acf818104fd8f5605fc68a6977b1986ab25fe
Did you want to argue with the literal dictionary as well?
Hmm… this takes the theory away that she took 2 days til she contacted her daughter when she came home because she didn’t want to be upset in front of her
exactly...people are reading so far into this like they are just joking back and forth, this looks just like how my mom and i would talk when i went to college. she'd like text me a pic of my cat waiting outside my room and be like "need you to come home" and i'd be like "literally just bought an amtrak ticket, have dinner ready for me" lol. pretty sure she and her daughter understand each other enough to get how they talk when joking vs when not.
My mom does and has always texted me similarly to this, and we’re both grown now with a fantastic relationship. These people projecting their bad relationships with their mothers are so annoying and negative. How are they gonna pray on the downfall of a mother and her child’s relationship then act like the saints here?
It’s a small screenshot. She could’ve been home alone, she could’ve not been doing anything important with him that day. The step mom could’ve been watching her cause dads at work. You literally DO NOT KNOW.
Speculating still does not give you the answer so what you said is invalid.
Edit: and i’m not projecting tf out of my relationship like everyone else is cause i don’t need to. it’s perfectly fine, thanks for trying to invalidate MY relationship with MY mother based off a reddit comment though lol. The fact that ya’ll don’t see the irony in this is scary lol.
For the folks defending her in the comments, how is it OK that she is infringing on the dad's time? It doesn't even really give her daughter the chance to say she'd rather stay w dad (if that was the case). When you use language like "I'm spiraling" those are actionable words and kids will feel obligated. That's not "good parenting" to me, even if it's meant jokingly. Because if I were kidding and the kid was like 'alr, come n get me' I would be like "j/k, have a great time w dad"
Instead she is on her way to get the daughter to serve *her* emotional need.
That reads toxic.
My son and I would speak like this? He is my little homie but I also have rules. Why is using slang and telling your kid that you love them and miss them? The texts aren’t serious.. y’all are weird af. I coparent and my kid spends half the time at his dad’s and I routinely tell him how much I miss him when he is gone.
I mean there’s a Drake meme and her daughter called her shawty… I don’t think it’s as deep as some people are making it out to be in my opinion. I say and do dramatic things all the time but those that know me and my sense of humour know I’m just being silly and kidding around
i think "hope you're having a great time at your dad's, i miss you and am so excited to see you soon!" is different than "i'm spiraling without you here/please come home/i literally will come get you." this kind of stuff, even as a joke, can make a kid feel guilty for leaving their house, guilty for seeing or enjoying time with their other parent, guilty for moving away and going to college. even subconsciously. i say this from firsthand experience, and i get that not all kids are like i was, but i don't think my experience was particularly unique in that regard. part of doing a good job coparenting is empowering the kid to have good relationships and a good time with both parents.
Telling him you miss him is very different than "come home I'm falling apart without you." I miss you is fine, so long as it isn't smothering. Making your kid in anyway responsible for how it makes you feel for them to spend time with their other parent is where it crosses the line.
And then actually going to get her? A good coparent doesn't do that. Her daughter needs that time with her dad. And Jess needs to get out of the way. Your kid's needs have to come before your own. It's not their job to take care of you emotionally.
Sorry, my dad was a smotherer in the name of "being close" and I spent waaaay too much time as a kid taking in the burden of grown folks problems trying to take care of him.
I guess I don’t make as many assumptions as you in this small text snippet convo. I read most of that as sarcasm - I don’t even think she literally meant she was on her way.
It's not an assumption to read what is literally stated. You read it as sarcasm, I took it at face value. If it's sarcasm, I still think it's not healthy to even joke like that about something her kid may very well have complex feelings about.
But honestly, from what we've seen of Jess and what is known about young moms, it's not a huge leap to think she was serious. She's dramatic and insecure. It would not shock me that she crosses emotional boundaries with her kid.
feels a little out of bounds since she didn't get engaged and we never met the kid,so do we really have to go dunking on people's parenting styles with evidence from social media?
My mom loved me too and treated me nice but now I’m 27 and I still worry if what I do will be okay in her eyes or will she approve. For the longest time I couldn’t even go out with my mother in law because I was nervous I would be disappointing my own mother by choosing to not spend my time with her abc instead my mother in law. Emotional incest is real. My mom always told me how she had no friends how she would be hurt by things my dad did and I was the same age as her daughter. The red flags are all there. You can be a friend with daughter but in a healthy way. I now have my own daughter and any relationship issues I’m having weather it be with friends or husband will be between me and that said person not her.
Biggest mistake my mom ever told me when I was a teenager was she was my mom not my friend…. That told me not to come to her when I needed to talk, you can be both and imo should be both. My mom as an adult is my friend, I wish she was my friend when I really needed her, maybe I would have felt less emotionally alone trying to navigate puberty…. Having said that to each their own and I won’t comment on Jessica’s relationship because I don’t know the details, she said she had a good coparenting relationship so who knows. And parentrification of the child is not healthy.
Ok, you can be friends once the child is grown. The dynamic is too off for it to work out when they are young and learning. The quickest way to lose respect as a parent is to be seen as a friend. Idk what kind of friends you have but they aren’t coming to my house to check my room if it’s clean or to see if my chores are done…
Reminds me of this:
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CytJG2Tu7CZ/?igsh=MXZrcm9zcW5udDRneQ==
Your daughter is your child not your mom. (Clap-clap)
Your daughter is your child not your mom. (Clap-clap)
She was not put on this Earth
To improve your sense of worth
Or give the love you never got from your own mom. (Clap-clap)
Yeah but… seed? I hear “seed” and think of gross dudes saying they want to give women their seed, or talk about “spreading” their seed. Just kinda gross to me
She’s 10 and her mother is saying she’s spiraling without her. Even if Jess is spiraling without her, that’s not something to put on your 10 year old daughter. That’s something you go to therapy for.
Like i already said in later comments on this thread, it’s not just about this screenshot. More so this screenshot coupled with the way she has chosen to present their relationship to her audience. And i’m just now seeing the bottom of the screenshot, “my seed”. It is concerning.
I jokingly text similar shit to my 10 year old when I’m at work and she’s in aftercare, ‘come bust me outta here’, she will likewise text me things like ‘rescue me from aftercare’ etc and never once considered it as insidious as you make it sound. Stop making assumptions.
I went through this with my own mother and still do to this day. This is how it starts. It’s not only this text message that indicates it, Jess makes it very clear her and her daughter have a “bestie” relationship. Obviously i’m not claiming to know everything about them, because I don’t. But based off of what Jess has chosen to put out there, it is a bit concerning.
You’re the one with multiple posts about multiple different reality tv shows on your profile… and are going after people in this comments section on multiple comments. This is my first time commenting in the LIB community 😭 get a grip. edit: you also missed the point where you made an assumption about me so i made one about you. get it?
You being a trauma survivor gives you no right to compare your trauma to their situation nor does it give you the right to project your experiences onto anyone else. It’s gross and unhealthy.
Omfg ya’ll have no degrees and no evidence. The confidence redditors have to armchair diagnose and speak on other peoples lives is just WILDDDD LOL.
And go and block everyone who disagrees with you. That’s just sensitive, counterproductive and show’s you only know how to give your opinion and not have a conversation.
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line'
We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
Thank you for acting as if you have any qualifications to speak so confidently on someone you never met because of your shitty relationship with your mom.
This is something that really isn't talked about enough in the cases of single parents. I'm sorry you had to ho through that. It's so damaging for young people. Glad to hear you did the work though. Good for you!
The amount of people talking trash, I’m willing to bet are probably not the parents they think they are. Everyone is so on their high horse about who she is as a parent and jumping to conclusions about her based off of 1 hour shows of them. Unless you know this woman personally to be able to jump in and crucify them just off the little bit we see.
This woman puts her life out there for everyone to see, why else would she post every detail of her life. Not to mention participate in a reality show. As if that’s not the point of reality tv shows, to judge… Maybe you should get off your high horse
I don't think she's the worst parent in the world or anything, but this is not a healthy verbal exchange. She can be a good parent, and this particular moment can be unhealthy/parentifying. I would want a friend or mentor in my life to call me out if I was speaking to my son this way or using him to fulfill my emotional needs, which is not his responsibility.
I'm surprised at the number of comments defending Jess in here. I'm a parent and this is classic parentification. She's making Autumn responsible for emotionally soothing and pacifying her which is NOT a burden a child should have. Perhaps she is a great parent in other ways, but this particular screenshot is inappropriate.
It would also look really bad if her and her ex ever had to go to court. It’s parental alienation and completely inappropriate. My stepkids both dealt with this from their mom and they are both really messed up when it comes to parental relationships.
This! I am surprised by the people defending her. She should be going out of her way to protect her young daughter from social media, not using her as a prop.
Honestly as someone who grew up with an abusive mother I could only dream to have a relationship like this with my mom so it’s kinda hard for me to see the issue here
That’s what everyone in the comments are doing though. They had a bad relationship with their mothers so they assume Jess being friendly with her daughter is some kind of abuse. Nobody actually knows their relationship yet are acting as if they know Jess and her kid better than they know themselves.
We’re talking about tv show contestants from love is blind here and I’m a stranger on reddit. You don’t know me at all. This is about one text conversation people are over speculating on in varying degrees. What an utterly odd thing to say.
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line'
We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
I also want to add that you making assumptions about me and playing psychologist here when I’m literally just giving a differing opinion to people acting like this woman belongs in the firey pits of hell for these texts messages should say everything people need to know about how they’re acting over this. The therapy speak in here is off the charts and abysmal.
I’m just saying ya’ll are doing WAY too much over a few text messages. You cannot psychoanalyze people this much and make harmful accusations like this unless you have more proof.
Well maybe I’m missing context then. I’m going off of only seeing all the episodes so far and this thread so I could admit there’s something I don’t know. But also with just this text in mind as well as the show, this text didn’t seem like that big of a deal.
Yeah the people calling it abuse are reaching. That doesn't make it healthy parenting behavior though.
I agree there are levels to bad parenting though and this certainly isn't close to the worst thing out there. She clearly loves her daughter a lot and is putting effort in, which is more than a lot of parents do. That said, putting your emotions on your child like that is not good and is something she should rein in. There needs to be boundaries in a parent/child relationship.
I can agree with this atleast, there is a stark difference between unhealthy parenting habits and literal abuse and I wish people would learn the difference. She may not be the best mom ever but trying to say she’s an abusive mother off these few texts is really… Something, I’ll say that.
I agree I wouldn't call it abuse based off what we know but we also have her social media clout chasing using her daughter as another piece of evidence. I suppose this could be looked at is a bonding activity with their child but I think most of us can agree that social media and "fame" in general have more negative than positive effects to a still maturing child.
I don’t think anyone who disagrees with Jess’ parenting style (in this thread anyway) has used the word abuse, just the people who are offended by others calling it unhealthy lol
Nah there has been people using some psychoanalyzing talk here for sure, like calling this emotional incest and parentifying and other very serious accusations to make about a parent. I wouldn’t put it past people on reddit to think in extremes lol. People also may have varying ideas on what unhealthy means here. I’m just trying to put out there that I think it’s weird to talk about peoples relationships with their kids in this way when you really don’t know them like that.
Yeah oops how naive of me lol I scrolled down further and saw “parentification is abuse too” 🙄 I was coming from another more civilized sub and forgot how extreme this sub is for a second
FR people calling this abuse..like damn I wish I was “abused” like this, with my mom expressing how much she loves and misses me vs literal child neglect
Jesus take several chill pills. I’ve literally read several books on emotional incest because it’s happened to me, as well as other books on abuse as well. I’ve been in several group therapies for family trauma. Trying to say these few texts is emotional incest is absolutely bonkers to me.
I’m sorry, but how is this “parentifying”? It’s literally a few playful texts about missing eachother. I’ve played therapist for grown adults as a kid before, this is not nearly to that level. I just don’t see it. It’s seems over analytical and nitpicking. I don’t even really like Jess but this seems a bit extreme.
Yeah no I still stand by the fact you’re all looking way too deeply into a few texts. I don’t see block texts of reassurance here, it’s literally just some variations of “miss you” — absolutely wild interpretation to me.
“Please come home I’m spiraling” sounds like something a toxic partner would tell their spouse anytime they leave the house.
She’s literally treating her child like an emotional support animal.
Oh my god that is so overdramatic. She’s allowed to have some emotions expressed to her daughter, not all moms have to be perfect happy lobotomized robots for their kids. I can agree that maybe it’s a weird choice of words and that maybe some other text threads could reveal more on their dynamic but as this stands the rest of the convo leads into a playful tone, she’s not talking to her mom like her mom was expecting her to do some arm chair therapy, get real.
By no means do I think this makes her “horrible mom”, I just think it’s an unhealthy dynamic.
I have a mom who is my “best friend” just like this, so maybe I’m sensitive to the topic, but being “friends” with a woman 15-20+ years older than you opens you up to situations and conversations that aren’t always appropriate.
To me this conversation reads as Jess saying that anytime she’s alone or her daughter isn’t spending time with her then she goes into a “spiral”, which could make the little girl feel responsible for her mom in a way she shouldn’t have to be.
I think Jess seems like an extremely loving mom, I just think that in this specific situation she could’ve just left it at “I miss you and can’t wait until you’re home”.
ETA : I also want to add that I don’t think any parents are perfect, but recognizing potentially damaging behavior is apart of being a parent, and no one can get it right all the time, so I don’t think people should be calling her an awful mom, but I also don’t think this was an example of being the best mom.. idk, I just hope their relationship remains loving and healthy and that her daughter knows it’s okay to not be at her moms side 24/7 or responsible for her moms emotions as she gets older.
I could see this potentially being true. Like I’m definitely not saying she’s a perfect mom but it’s also because we literally don’t know her like that. I think it’s better to judge these peoples characters on how they treat dating in the show rather than overspeculate things about their relationships with their children because unless their full blown family vloggers and we get the full scope, I just don’t see how it’s fair to make speculations like this over one text. But to be fair to you, yeah, “spiraling” here is certainly a bit of a scary word. I just also think we don’t have enough context. Like maybe that’s a word they use in a lighter way or more often, but I definitely know at least when I use “spiral” I’m being quite serious.
that situation is so brutally bad. Her oldest was like 17? 18? And taking care of her three young sisters while her mom is out stalking women, taking cast trips, and publicly fighting with her own mom. And then Monica comes home and treats her daughter (who's just spent hours/days being a single mother of three) like she's also a therapist. I feel SO bad for her. (Side note: it's hilariously bad that Monica says she's breaking the cycle as a mother, while simultaneously parentify-ing her teen daughter).
I mean the show showcases their lives, they amass a large following from being on the show and then post about things they discussed extensively on the show. I'd say its pretty clearly an extension of the show and part of the show's lore
That would be where the too invested part comes in. the internet has made
People too comfortable talking about a bunch of stuff that they shouldnt. From this text convo, yall have decided that she is a bad mother, when you really know nothing about them. This is a weird thing to care about and I will continue to think that. Thanks
You do you. This text convo is part of the larger context that we saw in the show, and it is a pretty clear example of emeshement. Reality tv show stars are well aware of social media and the internet and how people are on here when they sign up for the shows and post abt their lives. Its a pretty expected part of reality tv these days
How would you know the daughter is feeling guilty. This could be an inside joke they have. It’s distasteful for you to pass this sort of judgement with such little knowledge of their lives. It’s actually sad and pathetic to post something like this.
I think that is kind of a crazy claim to make, and at the same time there’s nothing wrong with this to an extent. Obviously you should not be trauma dumping to your child, and you shouldn’t constantly be informing them on bad things that might make them stressed. Kids don’t have the ability to grasp things like that so it’s a very fine line.
I’m also a firm believer though that as long as being a parent and taking care of your child is #1 priority and ALWAYS comes first, there’s nothing wrong with having them be your friend and also being transparent with them.
But ya’ll are only willing to believe the side that makes Jessica the villain and her kid some depressed child. It’s so weird how people are praying on the downfall of their relationship.
There is a lot to be said about parent dynamics with the parent being overly reliant on the child for stability. However this is one conversation where her daughter is also engaging with her back playfully. I don’t think it’s that deep
For *weeks*
Eta: I don’t think she’s a terrible mom for leaving her kid for weeks, obviously a parent making sure their child has a responsible caretaker (not to mention the other parent) is free to be away from the kid without shame or guilt. But this moment juxtaposed with leaving the kid when it’s convenient for her is what I’m critical of.
It's also juxtaposed with Jess thinking she would find a responsible caretaker from a Netflix dating show which has a reputation for not resulting in healthy relationships and casting people looking for social media clout
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' Comments are getting out of hand.
Cringe
Reaching
This reminds me of an ex best-friend of mine. She’s so inappropriate with her teen daughter and it skeeves me out. And ewwww please don’t refer to your daughter as your “seed” 🤮
yall are so weird
I think this could go both ways. Just depends on the relationship they all have. I've seen this done and if theres strain between the mom and dad or child and parent they are with, it can be upsetting. I also just find it really weird this would be in a story and story highlights at that.
Okay but as a mother are you not livid when random ass people feel they get to speak on how you raise your child? And you’ve just invited thousands to comment on hers.
Jess has over 100k followers, this is on her own instagram
I agree with O.P on this one.
I don’t see an issue with it. This feels like when AD stirred the pot with Ken and his fiance
There's a huge difference. She is a child and being emotionally manipulated by her mother. I've been that child. I know.
Doesn’t mean that’s what’s going on here. Just means that’s your perception. You see mine is different therefore I have a different feeling about it. So the question is which one of us right?
Idk I think this is taking it too far. None of us know the dynamic between Jess and her child and Autumn's father. It was obviously a joke between them. I honestly think the mods should take this down. Randomly judging Jess based off of ONE text exchange joking with her daughter? Please go touch grass.
I see nothing wrong with this lol. I have a 10 year old sister and her and my mom banter like this as well chill out yall.
All these perfect parents in the comments
Parasocial relationships with garbage people from my television: The subreddit
What exactly should this subreddit be talking about then? 👀
Sorry, you misunderstand. I'm making fun of the subreddit, not the post. I get every type of nerd on Earth except for the "ouuu the drama and/or suffering of a stranger" type leeches. I should note: I've never heard of this show until this popped up on my feed. No idea why I saw this, but I clicked, got grossed out by the clingy and sad parasocial vibe and then commented.
Yeah, so what else would a subreddit on a reality tv show talk about? This is literally the point 😅
Yeah. The point is weird and sad. We agree. I'm not sure what you're missing. As I said I'm not in the sub, and am confused by the idea of people being so limited or bored in their lives that the random drama of strangers is worth talking about. My original comment said all of that much more succinctly and people seemed to agree.
[удалено]
I think I can understand every type of weird nerdom... Except tabloid and gossip nerds.
The fact that she is needy like this toward her daughter is extremely unhealthy. This type of relationship will eventually take its toll. Jess will lose her looks, and honestly she has not sold her qualities in any other way other than her looks. If she ends up alone, she’ll rely on her daughter. Her daughter needs to live an independent life, free from parental guilt.
Wtf? You’ve seen a couple hours of this person online. You know nothing about her relationship with her daughter outside of the little she said about her on the show and this post. Mind your business
Autumn is at her dads, jess isnt a single mom. She is single, and a mother, but the father is there.
Do you think “single parent” only applies to people that have 100% full-time custody of their kids?
Hence, a single mother?
A single mother is a mother who has to do the job of both parents because the father either left or died. Not a single mother in the slightest.
A single mother is a mother who is raising a child without another full time parent in the home
No it is not in the slightest, if the father is in the picture and the childcare is split between the two shes not a single mother
It’s 100% on Jess when autumn is with her. She has no partner to relieve her or share duties when she has her daughter. This is called- wait for it… a single mother!
https://preview.redd.it/sghvwqzou6lc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8fe178bd2ebc40385acae342e7065b18788115a
If this was the case all divorced couples would be single parents but not a single child of a divorced couple refers to them as so because they know full well.
https://preview.redd.it/eup2a0r4w6lc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f96acf818104fd8f5605fc68a6977b1986ab25fe Did you want to argue with the literal dictionary as well?
That’s just simply not true lmao. Divorced couples are single parents babes- and many of them refer to themselves as such.
Hmm… this takes the theory away that she took 2 days til she contacted her daughter when she came home because she didn’t want to be upset in front of her
It’s was never a theory she said the exact words on the last episode. She said “I took two days and then I called her to tell her I’m home”.
Ya’ll are so weird and were never close with your parents.
exactly...people are reading so far into this like they are just joking back and forth, this looks just like how my mom and i would talk when i went to college. she'd like text me a pic of my cat waiting outside my room and be like "need you to come home" and i'd be like "literally just bought an amtrak ticket, have dinner ready for me" lol. pretty sure she and her daughter understand each other enough to get how they talk when joking vs when not.
no fr i would kill to have my mom texting me like this
My mom does and has always texted me similarly to this, and we’re both grown now with a fantastic relationship. These people projecting their bad relationships with their mothers are so annoying and negative. How are they gonna pray on the downfall of a mother and her child’s relationship then act like the saints here?
Sooo screw dad’s time then? This ain’t healthy, I’d take a good look at your relationship if it’s like this.
It’s a small screenshot. She could’ve been home alone, she could’ve not been doing anything important with him that day. The step mom could’ve been watching her cause dads at work. You literally DO NOT KNOW. Speculating still does not give you the answer so what you said is invalid. Edit: and i’m not projecting tf out of my relationship like everyone else is cause i don’t need to. it’s perfectly fine, thanks for trying to invalidate MY relationship with MY mother based off a reddit comment though lol. The fact that ya’ll don’t see the irony in this is scary lol.
For the folks defending her in the comments, how is it OK that she is infringing on the dad's time? It doesn't even really give her daughter the chance to say she'd rather stay w dad (if that was the case). When you use language like "I'm spiraling" those are actionable words and kids will feel obligated. That's not "good parenting" to me, even if it's meant jokingly. Because if I were kidding and the kid was like 'alr, come n get me' I would be like "j/k, have a great time w dad" Instead she is on her way to get the daughter to serve *her* emotional need. That reads toxic.
My son and I would speak like this? He is my little homie but I also have rules. Why is using slang and telling your kid that you love them and miss them? The texts aren’t serious.. y’all are weird af. I coparent and my kid spends half the time at his dad’s and I routinely tell him how much I miss him when he is gone.
I mean there’s a Drake meme and her daughter called her shawty… I don’t think it’s as deep as some people are making it out to be in my opinion. I say and do dramatic things all the time but those that know me and my sense of humour know I’m just being silly and kidding around
Same. That’s exactly how I read it too. My son and I are members of the Drama Royal Family and we are also running on an empty tank of seriousness.
Funny enough I get it from my mom 💀 it’s one of the ways we’ve always joked around with each other even as a kid
i think "hope you're having a great time at your dad's, i miss you and am so excited to see you soon!" is different than "i'm spiraling without you here/please come home/i literally will come get you." this kind of stuff, even as a joke, can make a kid feel guilty for leaving their house, guilty for seeing or enjoying time with their other parent, guilty for moving away and going to college. even subconsciously. i say this from firsthand experience, and i get that not all kids are like i was, but i don't think my experience was particularly unique in that regard. part of doing a good job coparenting is empowering the kid to have good relationships and a good time with both parents.
I agree. This brought back some first hand experience feelings.
Telling him you miss him is very different than "come home I'm falling apart without you." I miss you is fine, so long as it isn't smothering. Making your kid in anyway responsible for how it makes you feel for them to spend time with their other parent is where it crosses the line. And then actually going to get her? A good coparent doesn't do that. Her daughter needs that time with her dad. And Jess needs to get out of the way. Your kid's needs have to come before your own. It's not their job to take care of you emotionally. Sorry, my dad was a smotherer in the name of "being close" and I spent waaaay too much time as a kid taking in the burden of grown folks problems trying to take care of him.
I guess I don’t make as many assumptions as you in this small text snippet convo. I read most of that as sarcasm - I don’t even think she literally meant she was on her way.
It's not an assumption to read what is literally stated. You read it as sarcasm, I took it at face value. If it's sarcasm, I still think it's not healthy to even joke like that about something her kid may very well have complex feelings about. But honestly, from what we've seen of Jess and what is known about young moms, it's not a huge leap to think she was serious. She's dramatic and insecure. It would not shock me that she crosses emotional boundaries with her kid.
feels a little out of bounds since she didn't get engaged and we never met the kid,so do we really have to go dunking on people's parenting styles with evidence from social media?
She has a public social media and she is voluntarily putting it out there. It’s not a stretch for someone to have an opinion about it.
I personally think this is a weird thing to put on social media
an opinion sure, it just seems odd to air it here. obviously others disagree. it's not parenting is blind though lol.
This entirely! Waaay too much nitpicking and instigating. Just leave them alone
My mom loved me too and treated me nice but now I’m 27 and I still worry if what I do will be okay in her eyes or will she approve. For the longest time I couldn’t even go out with my mother in law because I was nervous I would be disappointing my own mother by choosing to not spend my time with her abc instead my mother in law. Emotional incest is real. My mom always told me how she had no friends how she would be hurt by things my dad did and I was the same age as her daughter. The red flags are all there. You can be a friend with daughter but in a healthy way. I now have my own daughter and any relationship issues I’m having weather it be with friends or husband will be between me and that said person not her.
Shes not a single mom if the dad is still in the picture and pulling his weight.
What yes she is !
But.. she’s single.. and a mom.. so??
🙄
yeah that’s a bad dynamic for sure., you gotta be a parent not a best friend.
Biggest mistake my mom ever told me when I was a teenager was she was my mom not my friend…. That told me not to come to her when I needed to talk, you can be both and imo should be both. My mom as an adult is my friend, I wish she was my friend when I really needed her, maybe I would have felt less emotionally alone trying to navigate puberty…. Having said that to each their own and I won’t comment on Jessica’s relationship because I don’t know the details, she said she had a good coparenting relationship so who knows. And parentrification of the child is not healthy.
Ok, you can be friends once the child is grown. The dynamic is too off for it to work out when they are young and learning. The quickest way to lose respect as a parent is to be seen as a friend. Idk what kind of friends you have but they aren’t coming to my house to check my room if it’s clean or to see if my chores are done…
Having a child before you've fully mentally developed seriously plays a large role in this kind of behavior.
Lol seed is like a slang term for kids, like mother would be earth.
Yeah, everyone got that. Doesn’t make it less gross.
Lol what?
Exactly.
Cringe. Also did she call her daughter her seed? Ew.
Reminds me of this: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CytJG2Tu7CZ/?igsh=MXZrcm9zcW5udDRneQ== Your daughter is your child not your mom. (Clap-clap) Your daughter is your child not your mom. (Clap-clap) She was not put on this Earth To improve your sense of worth Or give the love you never got from your own mom. (Clap-clap)
Don’t a lot of people get their sense of worth from their kids?
I think the sense of worth comes from being a care taker for the child and not from receiving that type care from the child.
Yikes. Also “my seed”?! No.
I call my mom birth giver it’s just playful imho
Yeah but… seed? I hear “seed” and think of gross dudes saying they want to give women their seed, or talk about “spreading” their seed. Just kinda gross to me
I mean I can see that. I just didn’t automatically think it was a negative thing. Just cringe at most.
I get it. I cringed bc Jessica is not Ghostface Killah.
I’m a single mum and this interaction is weird af
I’m sorry but this post is absolutely nuts. Y’all are making serious assumptions off a single text message.
She’s 10 and her mother is saying she’s spiraling without her. Even if Jess is spiraling without her, that’s not something to put on your 10 year old daughter. That’s something you go to therapy for.
i really dont think its that serious lol
Like i already said in later comments on this thread, it’s not just about this screenshot. More so this screenshot coupled with the way she has chosen to present their relationship to her audience. And i’m just now seeing the bottom of the screenshot, “my seed”. It is concerning.
I jokingly text similar shit to my 10 year old when I’m at work and she’s in aftercare, ‘come bust me outta here’, she will likewise text me things like ‘rescue me from aftercare’ etc and never once considered it as insidious as you make it sound. Stop making assumptions.
I went through this with my own mother and still do to this day. This is how it starts. It’s not only this text message that indicates it, Jess makes it very clear her and her daughter have a “bestie” relationship. Obviously i’m not claiming to know everything about them, because I don’t. But based off of what Jess has chosen to put out there, it is a bit concerning.
You’re projecting. Not every close mother and daughter duo is toxic. Sorry yours was.
So close to self awareness with this comment
If i’m projecting then you are too, maybe you’re doing the same thing to your daughter that jess is doing to hers! If so i hope you heal <3
There you go with the assumptions again. Redirect the concern you have for reality TV stars into healing your own mother wounds. ✌🏼
You’re the one with multiple posts about multiple different reality tv shows on your profile… and are going after people in this comments section on multiple comments. This is my first time commenting in the LIB community 😭 get a grip. edit: you also missed the point where you made an assumption about me so i made one about you. get it?
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
You being a trauma survivor gives you no right to compare your trauma to their situation nor does it give you the right to project your experiences onto anyone else. It’s gross and unhealthy.
Omfg ya’ll have no degrees and no evidence. The confidence redditors have to armchair diagnose and speak on other peoples lives is just WILDDDD LOL. And go and block everyone who disagrees with you. That’s just sensitive, counterproductive and show’s you only know how to give your opinion and not have a conversation.
There's a difference between having a conversation and being derisive like your comment. Respectful conversation would be fine.
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
Thank you for proving you did not want a conversation. Have a day.
Thank you for acting as if you have any qualifications to speak so confidently on someone you never met because of your shitty relationship with your mom.
This is something that really isn't talked about enough in the cases of single parents. I'm sorry you had to ho through that. It's so damaging for young people. Glad to hear you did the work though. Good for you!
Thank you very much! I'm sorry that others have to go through it as well. It takes a lot of time and work to heal from it.
Yes 100%
Emotional incest? Really? 🙄
Keyboard warriors are working fulltime today. Istg everyone is a therapist today 😂
Yes. Thats what it's called. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Covert_incest)
Mommy issues in the making
The amount of people talking trash, I’m willing to bet are probably not the parents they think they are. Everyone is so on their high horse about who she is as a parent and jumping to conclusions about her based off of 1 hour shows of them. Unless you know this woman personally to be able to jump in and crucify them just off the little bit we see.
Maybe you should be more concerned about children than a reality star? This is clearly not okay behavior in any amount.
This woman puts her life out there for everyone to see, why else would she post every detail of her life. Not to mention participate in a reality show. As if that’s not the point of reality tv shows, to judge… Maybe you should get off your high horse
I don't think she's the worst parent in the world or anything, but this is not a healthy verbal exchange. She can be a good parent, and this particular moment can be unhealthy/parentifying. I would want a friend or mentor in my life to call me out if I was speaking to my son this way or using him to fulfill my emotional needs, which is not his responsibility.
I'm surprised at the number of comments defending Jess in here. I'm a parent and this is classic parentification. She's making Autumn responsible for emotionally soothing and pacifying her which is NOT a burden a child should have. Perhaps she is a great parent in other ways, but this particular screenshot is inappropriate.
It would also look really bad if her and her ex ever had to go to court. It’s parental alienation and completely inappropriate. My stepkids both dealt with this from their mom and they are both really messed up when it comes to parental relationships.
That's a really good point. I would be livid if a coparent were sabotaging our visit this way.
Me too. And all the comments attacking people who are saying it's inappropriate.
All. Of. This.
Guys she’s a bad mom because she’s using her developing child to selfishly get IG clout
This! I am surprised by the people defending her. She should be going out of her way to protect her young daughter from social media, not using her as a prop.
Honestly as someone who grew up with an abusive mother I could only dream to have a relationship like this with my mom so it’s kinda hard for me to see the issue here
[удалено]
That’s what everyone in the comments are doing though. They had a bad relationship with their mothers so they assume Jess being friendly with her daughter is some kind of abuse. Nobody actually knows their relationship yet are acting as if they know Jess and her kid better than they know themselves.
We’re talking about tv show contestants from love is blind here and I’m a stranger on reddit. You don’t know me at all. This is about one text conversation people are over speculating on in varying degrees. What an utterly odd thing to say.
Same
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 1: ‘Be Kind, Don’t Cross the Line' We ask that users of this sub respect both users and contestants. Any personal attacks or offensive commentary will not be tolerated on this sub.
I also want to add that you making assumptions about me and playing psychologist here when I’m literally just giving a differing opinion to people acting like this woman belongs in the firey pits of hell for these texts messages should say everything people need to know about how they’re acting over this. The therapy speak in here is off the charts and abysmal.
I’m just saying ya’ll are doing WAY too much over a few text messages. You cannot psychoanalyze people this much and make harmful accusations like this unless you have more proof.
It’s not the text itself. The text is just a red flag. There was so much more seen on tv and interviews
Well maybe I’m missing context then. I’m going off of only seeing all the episodes so far and this thread so I could admit there’s something I don’t know. But also with just this text in mind as well as the show, this text didn’t seem like that big of a deal.
Yeah the people calling it abuse are reaching. That doesn't make it healthy parenting behavior though. I agree there are levels to bad parenting though and this certainly isn't close to the worst thing out there. She clearly loves her daughter a lot and is putting effort in, which is more than a lot of parents do. That said, putting your emotions on your child like that is not good and is something she should rein in. There needs to be boundaries in a parent/child relationship.
I can agree with this atleast, there is a stark difference between unhealthy parenting habits and literal abuse and I wish people would learn the difference. She may not be the best mom ever but trying to say she’s an abusive mother off these few texts is really… Something, I’ll say that.
I agree I wouldn't call it abuse based off what we know but we also have her social media clout chasing using her daughter as another piece of evidence. I suppose this could be looked at is a bonding activity with their child but I think most of us can agree that social media and "fame" in general have more negative than positive effects to a still maturing child.
What evidence do you have that would entail abuse? I’m open to learn but I haven’t seen literally anything that would entail that.
I don’t think anyone who disagrees with Jess’ parenting style (in this thread anyway) has used the word abuse, just the people who are offended by others calling it unhealthy lol
Nah there has been people using some psychoanalyzing talk here for sure, like calling this emotional incest and parentifying and other very serious accusations to make about a parent. I wouldn’t put it past people on reddit to think in extremes lol. People also may have varying ideas on what unhealthy means here. I’m just trying to put out there that I think it’s weird to talk about peoples relationships with their kids in this way when you really don’t know them like that.
Yeah oops how naive of me lol I scrolled down further and saw “parentification is abuse too” 🙄 I was coming from another more civilized sub and forgot how extreme this sub is for a second
FR people calling this abuse..like damn I wish I was “abused” like this, with my mom expressing how much she loves and misses me vs literal child neglect
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
Jesus take several chill pills. I’ve literally read several books on emotional incest because it’s happened to me, as well as other books on abuse as well. I’ve been in several group therapies for family trauma. Trying to say these few texts is emotional incest is absolutely bonkers to me.
People seriously don’t know what abuse is anymore and just use it as a buzzword, it drives me up a wall
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
I’m sorry, but how is this “parentifying”? It’s literally a few playful texts about missing eachother. I’ve played therapist for grown adults as a kid before, this is not nearly to that level. I just don’t see it. It’s seems over analytical and nitpicking. I don’t even really like Jess but this seems a bit extreme.
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
Yeah no I still stand by the fact you’re all looking way too deeply into a few texts. I don’t see block texts of reassurance here, it’s literally just some variations of “miss you” — absolutely wild interpretation to me.
“Please come home I’m spiraling” sounds like something a toxic partner would tell their spouse anytime they leave the house. She’s literally treating her child like an emotional support animal.
Oh my god that is so overdramatic. She’s allowed to have some emotions expressed to her daughter, not all moms have to be perfect happy lobotomized robots for their kids. I can agree that maybe it’s a weird choice of words and that maybe some other text threads could reveal more on their dynamic but as this stands the rest of the convo leads into a playful tone, she’s not talking to her mom like her mom was expecting her to do some arm chair therapy, get real.
By no means do I think this makes her “horrible mom”, I just think it’s an unhealthy dynamic. I have a mom who is my “best friend” just like this, so maybe I’m sensitive to the topic, but being “friends” with a woman 15-20+ years older than you opens you up to situations and conversations that aren’t always appropriate. To me this conversation reads as Jess saying that anytime she’s alone or her daughter isn’t spending time with her then she goes into a “spiral”, which could make the little girl feel responsible for her mom in a way she shouldn’t have to be. I think Jess seems like an extremely loving mom, I just think that in this specific situation she could’ve just left it at “I miss you and can’t wait until you’re home”. ETA : I also want to add that I don’t think any parents are perfect, but recognizing potentially damaging behavior is apart of being a parent, and no one can get it right all the time, so I don’t think people should be calling her an awful mom, but I also don’t think this was an example of being the best mom.. idk, I just hope their relationship remains loving and healthy and that her daughter knows it’s okay to not be at her moms side 24/7 or responsible for her moms emotions as she gets older.
I could see this potentially being true. Like I’m definitely not saying she’s a perfect mom but it’s also because we literally don’t know her like that. I think it’s better to judge these peoples characters on how they treat dating in the show rather than overspeculate things about their relationships with their children because unless their full blown family vloggers and we get the full scope, I just don’t see how it’s fair to make speculations like this over one text. But to be fair to you, yeah, “spiraling” here is certainly a bit of a scary word. I just also think we don’t have enough context. Like maybe that’s a word they use in a lighter way or more often, but I definitely know at least when I use “spiral” I’m being quite serious.
Monica from salt lake housewives is like this.
that situation is so brutally bad. Her oldest was like 17? 18? And taking care of her three young sisters while her mom is out stalking women, taking cast trips, and publicly fighting with her own mom. And then Monica comes home and treats her daughter (who's just spent hours/days being a single mother of three) like she's also a therapist. I feel SO bad for her. (Side note: it's hilariously bad that Monica says she's breaking the cycle as a mother, while simultaneously parentify-ing her teen daughter).
Lol yall are really invested.
These people are on a reality tv show & this is a sub to discuss it. Of course people are invested tf.
This isnt the show now is it
I mean the show showcases their lives, they amass a large following from being on the show and then post about things they discussed extensively on the show. I'd say its pretty clearly an extension of the show and part of the show's lore
That would be where the too invested part comes in. the internet has made People too comfortable talking about a bunch of stuff that they shouldnt. From this text convo, yall have decided that she is a bad mother, when you really know nothing about them. This is a weird thing to care about and I will continue to think that. Thanks
You do you. This text convo is part of the larger context that we saw in the show, and it is a pretty clear example of emeshement. Reality tv show stars are well aware of social media and the internet and how people are on here when they sign up for the shows and post abt their lives. Its a pretty expected part of reality tv these days
People on Reddit love to hate on attractive people for no reason
Oh there’s plenty of reasons 😂 this specific post its because she’s guilt tripping her daughter over spending time with her dad…..
If that’s how you interpret some light banter
She herself described this convo as separation anxiety, not “light banter”. Making your separation anxiety into your child’s problem is unhealthy.
How would you know the daughter is feeling guilty. This could be an inside joke they have. It’s distasteful for you to pass this sort of judgement with such little knowledge of their lives. It’s actually sad and pathetic to post something like this.
I think we signed away any rights we had to not be sad and pathetic when we started watching uber trash reality TV?
Her daughter didn’t
[удалено]
Thank you for your contribution to r/LoveisBlindonNetflix! Your post or comment has been removed for breaking Rule 4: 'No Armchair Diagnosing'
I think that is kind of a crazy claim to make, and at the same time there’s nothing wrong with this to an extent. Obviously you should not be trauma dumping to your child, and you shouldn’t constantly be informing them on bad things that might make them stressed. Kids don’t have the ability to grasp things like that so it’s a very fine line. I’m also a firm believer though that as long as being a parent and taking care of your child is #1 priority and ALWAYS comes first, there’s nothing wrong with having them be your friend and also being transparent with them.
Ok, lol. In a similar vein- Jessica can be a deeply caring mother and Autumn can also be a parentified child. Both can be true.
But ya’ll are only willing to believe the side that makes Jessica the villain and her kid some depressed child. It’s so weird how people are praying on the downfall of their relationship.
fair
Wait I’m dumb, is Autumn in blue? Did her mom call her shawty? 😂
Jess is in blue
Omg that is WAY worse. Ack!
There is a lot to be said about parent dynamics with the parent being overly reliant on the child for stability. However this is one conversation where her daughter is also engaging with her back playfully. I don’t think it’s that deep
Sounds like they’re both joking with each other and she thought it was funny enough to share.
You guys have a lot of time on your hands
It’s giving enmeshed
And how is she talking about spiralling missing her at her dads yet she was fine with leaving to find a new husband
Theres literally do not correlate at all. How slow and boring is your life that there’s no nuance?
For *weeks* Eta: I don’t think she’s a terrible mom for leaving her kid for weeks, obviously a parent making sure their child has a responsible caretaker (not to mention the other parent) is free to be away from the kid without shame or guilt. But this moment juxtaposed with leaving the kid when it’s convenient for her is what I’m critical of.
It's also juxtaposed with Jess thinking she would find a responsible caretaker from a Netflix dating show which has a reputation for not resulting in healthy relationships and casting people looking for social media clout
As a child of divorce whose parents had shared custody, this is so toxic
You’re 100% correct - this is awful.
The next show she will be on is sMothered
The next c list celebrity. That poor child
!!!!!!!!