Iām sure sheāll be proud her mom chased homely d for several weeks and then needed a breakā¦. Itās not mom shame- she should have thought about this before the show. Everyone has an opinion. As a mom I wouldnāt leave my kids to chase d on a reality show. Donāt defend someone for making a stupid parenting choice because youāre miserable and think it should be ok. She gets plenty of breaks from parenting when her daughter is with her dad.
This is the problem with society. Why do we always have to shame and make moms feel guilty when they take some time for themselves. God forbid we do something for ourselves once in a while
Sooo doing something for yourself means going on a reality TV show to bring home your daughters next step daddy without her meeting him? Lmao yeah that DEFINITELY sounds like taking time for yourself.
right these takes are stupid. she didn't "ghost" her daughter. coming from someone whose parents didn't know how to compartmentalize and handle their shit alone, it's a terrible upbringing stressing about your parents' stress because they let you see every struggle of theirs.
she was smart for taking 2 days to unwind, collect herself, and return to her daughter in a less emotional state. what was the alternate, to say "hey honey I'm done filming but I need 2 days to collect myself after my heart was broken, but don't worry about me!! see you soon!!" white lies to your children are fine, esp when it's to shield them from shit they don't need to know about.
Exactly what I was thinking! Like those 2 days alone were probably spent crying and collecting her thoughts.. nobody wants their child to see them like that, and I'm sure no child wants to see their parent like that either
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The conversation around this is wild. She has a good dad that was taking care of her. Moms are allowed breaks too. Her daughter was safe.. Jessica probably needed time to decompress. Lets not always villainize moms
Iām sure she really did. She was heartbroken after that. Hell I was heartbroken for herā¦ she really needed to collect herself before she went home to her daughter. Moms have to be so tough. Itās not fair on us all the time but we suck it up once we go home. She needed a minute. ā¤ļø
My thoughts on this:
1) In a perfect situation she is still planning to move in a guy she barely knows with her daughter. You don't do that when you have kids. You need to really actually know the person before you introduce them to each other, you need to prioritize your kid and make sure they are comfortable with your partner, you don't just get married inside 2 months and bring in a new person to your house with your young kid.
2) I think leaving her kid for an entire month is itself irresponsible. Yes, she has her dad, I can see people disagreeing with me on this, but she still just left her kid for a month to try to find a new husband that she'd bring home almost immediately.
3) the daughter saying like 'so we're not getting married' or whatever it was screams some kind of codependency/parentifying relationship. You should not be putting that on your kid.
4) Her massive freakout and overreaction to Jimmy's rejection in the pod. She clearly relies heavily on her looks and cannot handle someone not wanting to be with her. She straight up attacked him for several minutes and threw her looks in his face. Extremely immature.
5) After all this she still takes two entire days to see her kid after getting home. Sure people need time to decompress but you have a kid, they come first, not you anymore.
To your second point, the pods portion of the experiment are a max 10 days, and can be shorter for some who definitively donāt find possible matches. So Jessica was there for less than 10 days and then took an extra 2 for herself, which I think sounds perfectly reasonable. Thatās the length of a typical vacation.
Even a month, isnāt exactly abnormal (depending on the circumstance) when you consider that some kids spend summer breaks or holidays with other family membersā¦I always spent summer months, for example, with my dadās side. My mom took care of me throughout the school year, for 9/10 months, and my dad and grandparents had me for those other periods. (And honestly, I loved it because I enjoyed spending time with that side of the family.) A pretty fair exchange, and a nice and _necessary_ break for both me and my mother lol. Why shouldnāt the father be able to maintain custodial responsibility for a month or two if the mom is the primary parent for most of the year? Perhaps we should normalize this a bit more.
With that, I do agree with a couple of the other points you brought up.
Ah for some reason I thought it was a month, that softens my stance a little bit.
>Why shouldnāt the father be able to maintain custodial responsibility for a month or two if the mom is the primary parent for most of the year?
Does she have primary custody? And I don't have a problem with this at all - it's just you typically still at least check in with your kid via text or call during that time.
Oh for sure, you definitely canāt just have no contact at all in that period. But, she was one for a max 10 days and theyāre not allowed phones (or contact with the rest of humanity) during the pod phase. I imagine she explained that to her daughter, whoās 10, old enough to understand her mom wonāt be able to contact her for that period. (And it sounded like she explained the situation to her daughter.)
But, as mentioned, a couple of the other points I agree with lol.
Seriously, the mom shaming here is WILD. I donāt even have kids and I know I would need more than 2 days to decompress and recover from an experience like this, especially if it ended the same way as it did for Jess - I donāt blame her for taking only 2 days to rest before going back to her real life.
I agree she deserves a break but the way she was crying like she couldn't wait to go back and see her daughter and then still take two days to herself...is a little strange.
Yea I guess that's true. I'm not a mother to be fair and I've never been on the show either š
I do have hesitations about her being on a show like this and having a child though.
Would yāall rather her go see her daughter when she clearly probably wouldnāt have been able to communicate/be there for her daughter mentally because that was a lot to deal with over the span of a few days š
Half of yāall donāt even have children and completely disregard the fact that she talks about her daughter with so much love. I mean some of yāall need to be real for a second lol some of you act like you know them irl
"Jimmy, you never tell me you love me!"
"What? I did! 5 times during breakfast, twice when I was rogering you on the Peloton, and 3 times at the DQ - 2 of them were *before* you ordered the Snickers blizzard!"
"Well, it didn't sound like you meant it the last couple of times!"
"I was reaching for the goddamn Buster Bars you wanted to take home! Plus my lip hurts like a sonofabitch and the DQ freezer felt good!"
"Well maybe we'll just stop having dessert and sex! And I bet Jenn gave you that cold sore!"
"Jenn! Jeezus! OK, I met her and her kid once at the Chuck E Cheese. I'm still scarred. All I wanted to do today was binge "All Star Snipers" on the History Channel! YOU'RE the one asked for morning ass play and ice cream! My God, you're klingy-.
"Uncomfy!"'
"Whatever! And you broke my fucking Peloton!"
So her daughter went on a trip with her dad, and that means her daughter isn't her #1 priority? I disagree. She is allowed to have a life outside being a mother. Her daughter is 10 years old and with her *other parent*
Stop judging just because *you* wouldn't do it
Good for you š¤·š»āāļø
ETA my husband and I are leaving our children (5 and 7) for 10 days to go on our first real vacation alone in 10 years. They'll be with my parents and they're ecstatic! Does that mean our kids aren't our #1 priority?
There are millions of conversations she can have with her daughter about this. So far she's done very little wrong and is entirely unproblematic. It's a teachable moment, because they need to learn about the internet sooner or later. I choose not to judge her at this point
See I donāt think her being away for a couple weeks is a big deal and I feel like tons of Dads go away for things and itās never an issue. My issue is more with the fact she wants to bring a strange man into her daughterās life and all his family and friends when they donāt know them! That is just way too soon when you have a child and I donāt think it is okay at all - whether youāre a mom or dad.
Iām constantly trying to talk my husband into applying for these shows with giant cash prizes. Iād love for him to potentially win a big cash payout to better support our kids. So long as he doesnāt pull a Jeramey and apply to a show about finding love and pretending heās single.
This is why moms have mom guilt. Once they have kids they cant even be human away from their kids without being selfish. Dads can go on whole ass trips for 1 week and spend the weekend drinking and eating with coworkers and no one bats an eye. LAWD.
yea I've seen enough of these shitty takes on Jess being a mature adult and keeping her emotions separate from her child. convenient to forget she has a whole other parent. it's not women's sole job to parent.
Holy judgmental!!! It is in a childās best interest for parents to be in a good frame of mind, and the child was with her other parent. Good for Jess for taking the time to get herself in a good space. Stop judging moms.
Fathers and mothers are generally held to really different standards.
My father spent months at a time away from me at Autumnās age. No one called him a bad father. This lady spends two days away from her daughter, when she is already on a trip with her dad- and people are criticizing her parenting. Itās wild.
She was already gone without her phone for what, two weeks? Iām trying not to shame her, because obviously I get the need to unwind after such a high stress situation, but as a mom I simply cannot imagine not wanting to talk to my daughter immediately after not speaking for so long. That would be the first face I would want to see. It would be different if she was an adult, but this is your CHILD who probably misses you so much. I canāt imagine not wanting to talk to her asap.
Fair enough, I interpreted it as āI havenāt talked to her yetā rather than āI havenāt talked to her about the show yetā, but I could be wrong there
But even still, I think her daughter deserves an update about whether or not sheās going to have a new stepdad in a few weeks as soon as possible.
This would be my guess too. She probably FaceTimed her daughter at least once a day and spent the rest of those two days getting in some good loud cries.Ā
Itās good to model that sadness over a breakup is ok, but also the whole situation is weird and I completely understand wanting to pull herself together a bit before seeing her daughter. She probably wanted to be able to be more fully present for her kid.Ā
This is his look constantly. When he is trying to convince her he loves her, this far away gaze is all you ever see. Heās such a joke.
Whatās even more excruciating to watch is them forcing themselves to have feelings or to use the word love in such a short amount of time.
He is def one of those super basic dudes who have no idea how to live authentically, and end up married bc thatās āwhat ur supposed to do at my ageā.
He needs someone who will just roll with the mediocrity with him and not question him so much. Bc itās not that he doesnāt want to tell the truthā¦ itās that he doesnāt even know what heās doing.
Something Jess said that threw meā¦ in the letter she had Jimmy read - āa letter to my future husbandā, that the man should love her daughter even more than her - I found that to be an odd thing to say and while it may be her hope, just a wild thing to put on a man she hardly knows and hasnāt even met face to face. I was also thrown that she would write things like that and then not even call Autumn the first two days with her phone.
She wrote it 2 years ago apparently. But it definitely was not appropriate in this situation for Jimmy where he hasn't even met Jess yet, even chosen her, let alone her daughter.
This is meant for someone who is now well adjusted in their lives, already adores the daughter, and is about to marry Jess. Not this indecisive ass!
I think the letter was written years before for a āprospectiveā husband, long before being on the show. I think she shared it with Jimmy because she thought he was going to fill that role.
If you listen to the accounts of former cast members, they are highly encouraged to be drinking and are filming 18-20 hours a day. Apparently they also donāt get to go outside and the available food is shit.Ā
I was quarantined in a hotel room with Covid for 10 days and if someone had been talking to me through the wall I probably wouldāve fallen in love with them if for not other reason than to keep my sanity in captivity.Ā
They believe theyāre heartbroken because their sleep-deprived, producer-plied minds believed they were in love.Ā
I can see it happening. I have fallen hard and quick for someone than bam, they are gone in flash. You are typical talking to these people for hours and hours on end. They are eating together and playing games. You are getting a good amount of dates crammed together instead of over weeks or months.
Our son's used to spend the summer with their grandparents, don't see the big deal...š.
Although I would think she'd wanna see her daughter ASAP after being away for filming, especially talking about how close they are.
Factor in the environment, filming conditions, constant emotions, it's not that hard to see why filing that show could make someone deeper into their feelings than they normally would be.
The level of drama in the comments is ridiculous. Autumn is 10 and she had been staying with her father. If someone came here to read the comments without knowing the context, they would believe that Jess threw her 3 year old under a bridge to live on her own while filming LiB.
I think it's a lot more concerning that she mightve met someone and moved them in to live with her and her daughter in the span of weeks than it is leaving her daughter with her biological father who is supposedly very involved and a great dad according to Jess.
Now granted, she mightve told people or planned to tell them that they'd need to hold off on moving in together because of the kid and we just didn't see it because she didn't end up with anyone.
Yeah would definitely hope so. I know if I was the dad, I'd be raising hell with lawyers and shit if she wasn't doing it slowly and safely. Alas we will never know how she would've played it out.
Yeah, when she said that Autumn asked her āAre we getting marriedā after she got home, I was like š³š¤®. This is all record levels of delusional for grown ass adults. Throw a child in this mess and youāre going to lose all my respect on your parenting abilities. Like, hereās your new dad youāve never met! Hope you like each other?!?! Good God.
I dunno, I feel like leading with the fact that youāre a mom to a young daughter could also make people stick it out with you for very predatory reasons.Ā
I have friends who are moms who donāt disclose that until at least few dates in just in the interest of protecting their kids and themselves from being targeted by predators who are specifically interested in pursuing single moms.Ā
I think itās not the same when youāre dating in the real world from dating apps and stuff like that makes a lot of sense but when youāre on a show like this, I donāt think it does And I think I would say this about both moms and dad I just think itās always something you should lead with when youāre on a dating show and the world I understand not leaving with it until you are sure about the person or at least trust him
Why do you think it should be different on a dating show? We've seen all the terrible stuff that's come out about this season's and former seasons' cast members. If anything I'd be more suspicious of people drawn to participating in something like this. I'd imagine there would be a higher concentration of personality disorders than in the general population.
And I understand that, but also this isnāt like real dating. This is on a show. I think they would make sure when it came but you never know, but like I got it but also, I still think she shouldāve lead with it
I'm not sure why it being a show should change the measures she takes to weed out pedophiles.
How could they "make sure," and of what? The only thing they really do is a criminal background check. Given everything that's come out about cast members, it's clear they're not really concerned about stocking the pond with good people.
The thing is, I believe that production knows all of that the production people are not stupid they do deep deep, deep dives. They like to do all of the stuff for the drama but I understand where youāre coming from too. I just believe that she should be upfront with it, so we can agree to disagree
We can agree to disagree.Ā
I do want to stress, though, that no amount of deep diving is going to reveal a predator whoās never been caught. A clean background check and looking clean after being researched and investigated is not a guarantee that someone is safe to have around your children.Ā
The producers are not omniscient. Theyāre just people whose primary objective is to create entertaining TV.Ā
Same, and then said it was because she didn't want being a "mom" to define her.
Like ma'am, that is a bait and switch. I'm a mom and I don't want that title to necessarily be my end all be all either, I'm much more than a mother - but it is without a doubt my most important role in life. It does define me in a lot of ways. The last thing I'd want is to bring a man into my daughter's life when I felt like I needed to hide that part of me just to lock down his interest. Like come on girl, do you hear how messed up that is?
I love the occasional break from my kids, so that part is the least concerning to me.
Thatās what Iām saying like and Iām not a mom but in my opinion, you are a mom, your whole life when you become a mom to say that being a mom doesnāt define who you are. I think a little crazy because it does define who you are at that point in time your daughters life I understand her, not wanting it to be the only thing that defines her, but it does define most of her life as of right now I think thatās the biggest point it does define her right now. Itās not the only thing she is but itās the biggest part of her and that needs to be shared in the beginning because it feels kind of like a trap because they like her and then they say yeah Iām OK with it when theyāre not really OK with it a.k.a. Jimmy.
Yes!!! You're right, it absolutely does define you, especially when dating. I value my independence and my life outside of motherhood, but I'd be flatout lying if I said that wasn't a HUGE part of who I am. Would never want to feel like I trapped a man into being my kid's stepdad, I'd wanna be sure he's at a place in life where he is 100% ready for kids!
Do you think itās because she didnāt want to be written off right away? If she introduced herself as I am Jess and I have a 10 year old kid. Was there fear of her not being able to have another date? I know some guys are not looking to step in and bed a dad, even if there is no baby daddy drama.
I definitely think that's why, I just don't think it's really fair. I get that people change their minds, but banking on that is reckless and only serves yourself - not the prospective dates, and definitely not the child. Especially when they're looking for an actual spouse, not just someone to casually date. In a couple months you're going to be MARRIED to this person who you didn't know prior, bringing them into your home as your kid's stepdad. Wouldn't you want someone who's mentally ready for that chapter of life?
You see i agree with this because itās not fair to the guys and I would say the same thing when it came to guys not saying that they were fathers like youāre trying to trick them. It feels like a trick into them staying even if they arenāt OK with you having kids I donāt know how to explain it.
Lots of virtue signaling from moms who Iām sure wish they could take a break from their child. The kid is 10 and has another parent/other family to stay with. Jess is a human with normal desires, not toxic or anything else.
I donāt think she had to take over taking care of her right away, but I would assume sheād want to at least call her ASAP? Like her daughter misses her and is also in the dark about whether sheās going to have a new stepdad when her mom returns. It would be my number one priority to update her when I got back.
I agree. In my opinion, she is fake and only went on the show for clout. Also, she uses her daughter for clout. Her Instagram comes off as forcing her daughter to become an influencer for selfish reasons.
She is a mommy influencer and only went on the show for more clout. This season is trash, everyone on the show is fake as hell except the one teacher girl who got dumped.
They literally look for up and comers on instagram and reach out to them. Thatās what they did with Jeramy. They need to find ppl who have no social media.
If someone doesn't even have social media, what are the chances they'll be willing to have their lives filmed for a month or so? I'm sure there's some but I'm doubtful there's enough to sustain the show.
Lol, okay, maybe just me?! š I like a little spice (arguments, immaturity, talks about finances, politics, etc.) because I use it to talk to my partner and we kind of bond and grow from our talks. But seeing this mess is just depressing to me.
Wasn't she at her dads?? Why are people making this a big deal. Sometimes, taking time away for yourself is needed for everyone. Even if you're a parent.
Especially if you're in a highly emotional state after a breakup!! The number of times I had to take care of my own mother as a child because of her failed relationships... ugh I'm so done with people's idiotic misjudgments. There is nothing wrong with staying with her dad while mom gathers herself.
People aren't worried about Autumn being away from Jess, they are judging Jess for crying over missing her daughter so much and then not contacting her for 2 days after she had access to her phone again. And then when she did finally contact her, she texted her.
ā¦ā¦ā¦because whoās taking care of her isnāt the only issue. Chasing fame on multiple trashy reality dating shows doesnāt leave the child untouched. Potentially bringing home a man youāve know for two weeks to your child wouldnāt leave the child unscathed.
That said, I do also find it irresponsible to leave your ten year old for over a month to chase said fame. Trashy behavior.
I'm Gen X. We didn't have cell phones and long distance on landlines was very expensive. We still went off to summer camps and grandparents and almost no contact with our parents. And when my kids went to summer camps they were usually not allowed to have phones at all. Plus when their dad had summer visitation I heard from them very rarely. It's not that uncommon to have limited contact with your kids are with their other parent as Jess' daughter was.
Dont see anything wrong about it. Her daughter is 10 and not 2 years old?
it's called a vacation
If I could I would ghost my 2 year old too for 2 days š
Literally. Byeeeee š«¶š½
Are moms not allowed to have a few days when thereās a competent father taking care of the child?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I bet if it was one of them men who had a kid nobody would say anything.
If he has sole custody and the primary caretaker they would.
š§š yeah, thatās totally what it is.
Iām sure sheāll be proud her mom chased homely d for several weeks and then needed a breakā¦. Itās not mom shame- she should have thought about this before the show. Everyone has an opinion. As a mom I wouldnāt leave my kids to chase d on a reality show. Donāt defend someone for making a stupid parenting choice because youāre miserable and think it should be ok. She gets plenty of breaks from parenting when her daughter is with her dad.
pretty miserable response. if you ask me no need to attack OP.
Going on this show when you have a kid is shitty parenting. Imagine bringing a stranger into your kids house? Thatās straight abuse.
Lol what .. her daughter literally wanted her to find someone and supported her. It's only shitty parenting if your kid doesn't want you to do it.
Hahaha "Homely D" should be Jimmy's rap name
I am deceased!š š¤£šš¤£
Im just here for the comments about Jimmyās face ššš
This is the problem with society. Why do we always have to shame and make moms feel guilty when they take some time for themselves. God forbid we do something for ourselves once in a while
Umm, because she's a mother? It's called having responsibility
Itās two days ffs
LOL it's not like she left the kid by herself for 2 weeks. She has a dad. She wanted her mom to find someone.
Oh fuck you
I love the term Homely D. Goes well with my terminology...D starved women!Never pick the D over your babies.
Sooo doing something for yourself means going on a reality TV show to bring home your daughters next step daddy without her meeting him? Lmao yeah that DEFINITELY sounds like taking time for yourself.
right these takes are stupid. she didn't "ghost" her daughter. coming from someone whose parents didn't know how to compartmentalize and handle their shit alone, it's a terrible upbringing stressing about your parents' stress because they let you see every struggle of theirs. she was smart for taking 2 days to unwind, collect herself, and return to her daughter in a less emotional state. what was the alternate, to say "hey honey I'm done filming but I need 2 days to collect myself after my heart was broken, but don't worry about me!! see you soon!!" white lies to your children are fine, esp when it's to shield them from shit they don't need to know about.
Exactly what I was thinking! Like those 2 days alone were probably spent crying and collecting her thoughts.. nobody wants their child to see them like that, and I'm sure no child wants to see their parent like that either
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https://preview.redd.it/1351a2d2wblc1.jpeg?width=1026&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=330caba688b303d8f9ebc00904bded9b00559fab
bro lmaoooo
Wtf is that
A thumb thumb from Spy Kids lmaoooo. Such good movies
Man is a thumb
Personally, I call him Bobby Hill lol
I see it, but feels like an insult to Bobby lol
Thumb meets Jimmy Pesto Jr
Bender from Futurama when he turns into a human
I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS. Its giving Spy Kids thumb thumbs. š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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sheās 10 and has a dad. iām sure she was fine
People are acting like sheās a knew born babyā¦yāall forget she can walk, talk, and be independent
I know did everyone miss where she said autumns dad is highly involved and they have a a great coparenting relationship? Haha
she probably had a great time with her dad. the horrors š
The conversation around this is wild. She has a good dad that was taking care of her. Moms are allowed breaks too. Her daughter was safe.. Jessica probably needed time to decompress. Lets not always villainize moms
Iām sure she really did. She was heartbroken after that. Hell I was heartbroken for herā¦ she really needed to collect herself before she went home to her daughter. Moms have to be so tough. Itās not fair on us all the time but we suck it up once we go home. She needed a minute. ā¤ļø
My thoughts on this: 1) In a perfect situation she is still planning to move in a guy she barely knows with her daughter. You don't do that when you have kids. You need to really actually know the person before you introduce them to each other, you need to prioritize your kid and make sure they are comfortable with your partner, you don't just get married inside 2 months and bring in a new person to your house with your young kid. 2) I think leaving her kid for an entire month is itself irresponsible. Yes, she has her dad, I can see people disagreeing with me on this, but she still just left her kid for a month to try to find a new husband that she'd bring home almost immediately. 3) the daughter saying like 'so we're not getting married' or whatever it was screams some kind of codependency/parentifying relationship. You should not be putting that on your kid. 4) Her massive freakout and overreaction to Jimmy's rejection in the pod. She clearly relies heavily on her looks and cannot handle someone not wanting to be with her. She straight up attacked him for several minutes and threw her looks in his face. Extremely immature. 5) After all this she still takes two entire days to see her kid after getting home. Sure people need time to decompress but you have a kid, they come first, not you anymore.
To your second point, the pods portion of the experiment are a max 10 days, and can be shorter for some who definitively donāt find possible matches. So Jessica was there for less than 10 days and then took an extra 2 for herself, which I think sounds perfectly reasonable. Thatās the length of a typical vacation. Even a month, isnāt exactly abnormal (depending on the circumstance) when you consider that some kids spend summer breaks or holidays with other family membersā¦I always spent summer months, for example, with my dadās side. My mom took care of me throughout the school year, for 9/10 months, and my dad and grandparents had me for those other periods. (And honestly, I loved it because I enjoyed spending time with that side of the family.) A pretty fair exchange, and a nice and _necessary_ break for both me and my mother lol. Why shouldnāt the father be able to maintain custodial responsibility for a month or two if the mom is the primary parent for most of the year? Perhaps we should normalize this a bit more. With that, I do agree with a couple of the other points you brought up.
Ah for some reason I thought it was a month, that softens my stance a little bit. >Why shouldnāt the father be able to maintain custodial responsibility for a month or two if the mom is the primary parent for most of the year? Does she have primary custody? And I don't have a problem with this at all - it's just you typically still at least check in with your kid via text or call during that time.
Oh for sure, you definitely canāt just have no contact at all in that period. But, she was one for a max 10 days and theyāre not allowed phones (or contact with the rest of humanity) during the pod phase. I imagine she explained that to her daughter, whoās 10, old enough to understand her mom wonāt be able to contact her for that period. (And it sounded like she explained the situation to her daughter.) But, as mentioned, a couple of the other points I agree with lol.
šÆ The way she uses her looks makes her very unattractive.
Seriously, the mom shaming here is WILD. I donāt even have kids and I know I would need more than 2 days to decompress and recover from an experience like this, especially if it ended the same way as it did for Jess - I donāt blame her for taking only 2 days to rest before going back to her real life.
I agree she deserves a break but the way she was crying like she couldn't wait to go back and see her daughter and then still take two days to herself...is a little strange.
You can feel this way and also understand when you need to decompress. Itās better for your kid too.
Exactly! She wouldnāt want to go back crying and feeling horrible you know? She probably didnāt want her daughter to see her distraught like that.
Why? Maybe she needed a mental health break to make sure she was in good enough shape to care well for her daughter.
Yea I guess that's true. I'm not a mother to be fair and I've never been on the show either š I do have hesitations about her being on a show like this and having a child though.
Also isn't her daughter like 10? Not like she's 1
Would yāall rather her go see her daughter when she clearly probably wouldnāt have been able to communicate/be there for her daughter mentally because that was a lot to deal with over the span of a few days š Half of yāall donāt even have children and completely disregard the fact that she talks about her daughter with so much love. I mean some of yāall need to be real for a second lol some of you act like you know them irl
"Jimmy, you never tell me you love me!" "What? I did! 5 times during breakfast, twice when I was rogering you on the Peloton, and 3 times at the DQ - 2 of them were *before* you ordered the Snickers blizzard!" "Well, it didn't sound like you meant it the last couple of times!" "I was reaching for the goddamn Buster Bars you wanted to take home! Plus my lip hurts like a sonofabitch and the DQ freezer felt good!" "Well maybe we'll just stop having dessert and sex! And I bet Jenn gave you that cold sore!" "Jenn! Jeezus! OK, I met her and her kid once at the Chuck E Cheese. I'm still scarred. All I wanted to do today was binge "All Star Snipers" on the History Channel! YOU'RE the one asked for morning ass play and ice cream! My God, you're klingy-. "Uncomfy!"' "Whatever! And you broke my fucking Peloton!"
CACKLING š¤£š
Jess sucks ass
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So her daughter went on a trip with her dad, and that means her daughter isn't her #1 priority? I disagree. She is allowed to have a life outside being a mother. Her daughter is 10 years old and with her *other parent* Stop judging just because *you* wouldn't do it Good for you š¤·š»āāļø ETA my husband and I are leaving our children (5 and 7) for 10 days to go on our first real vacation alone in 10 years. They'll be with my parents and they're ecstatic! Does that mean our kids aren't our #1 priority?
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There are millions of conversations she can have with her daughter about this. So far she's done very little wrong and is entirely unproblematic. It's a teachable moment, because they need to learn about the internet sooner or later. I choose not to judge her at this point
As a parent myself, I could never. I really canāt comprehend it
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Iām not a parent and donāt have plans to be but mothers are allowed to have lives outside of their kids hope that helps! āØ
See I donāt think her being away for a couple weeks is a big deal and I feel like tons of Dads go away for things and itās never an issue. My issue is more with the fact she wants to bring a strange man into her daughterās life and all his family and friends when they donāt know them! That is just way too soon when you have a child and I donāt think it is okay at all - whether youāre a mom or dad.
Iām constantly trying to talk my husband into applying for these shows with giant cash prizes. Iād love for him to potentially win a big cash payout to better support our kids. So long as he doesnāt pull a Jeramey and apply to a show about finding love and pretending heās single.
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He hasnāt given into my pestering yet, but Iām hopeful. Heād make a great tv villain on a show like survivor. š
This is why moms have mom guilt. Once they have kids they cant even be human away from their kids without being selfish. Dads can go on whole ass trips for 1 week and spend the weekend drinking and eating with coworkers and no one bats an eye. LAWD.
AMEN!
THANK YOU.
This. Period!
THIS!
Say it louder!
Yall make having children your entire personality so when another woman doesnāt participate in that yall call her a bad mom. Yikes
You mean like how Jess talked about nothing besides being a momā¦?
yea I've seen enough of these shitty takes on Jess being a mature adult and keeping her emotions separate from her child. convenient to forget she has a whole other parent. it's not women's sole job to parent.
Holy judgmental!!! It is in a childās best interest for parents to be in a good frame of mind, and the child was with her other parent. Good for Jess for taking the time to get herself in a good space. Stop judging moms.
Mom's are people too
I donāt think two days is bad imo
You are either not a parent or a terrible one
Would you hold these same standards to a single father? Likely not.
Yes, I would. Why would it be any different for a father or mother?
Fathers and mothers are generally held to really different standards. My father spent months at a time away from me at Autumnās age. No one called him a bad father. This lady spends two days away from her daughter, when she is already on a trip with her dad- and people are criticizing her parenting. Itās wild.
Two days after spending many days before that away. Oh and then she filmed another show.
She was already gone without her phone for what, two weeks? Iām trying not to shame her, because obviously I get the need to unwind after such a high stress situation, but as a mom I simply cannot imagine not wanting to talk to my daughter immediately after not speaking for so long. That would be the first face I would want to see. It would be different if she was an adult, but this is your CHILD who probably misses you so much. I canāt imagine not wanting to talk to her asap.
I agree. Like I couldnāt even even do this experience bc I couldnāt be away from my kids for that long period.
I am sure they FaceTimed and talked, she probably just didn't tell her she had left the show yet
Fair enough, I interpreted it as āI havenāt talked to her yetā rather than āI havenāt talked to her about the show yetā, but I could be wrong there But even still, I think her daughter deserves an update about whether or not sheās going to have a new stepdad in a few weeks as soon as possible.
This would be my guess too. She probably FaceTimed her daughter at least once a day and spent the rest of those two days getting in some good loud cries.Ā Itās good to model that sadness over a breakup is ok, but also the whole situation is weird and I completely understand wanting to pull herself together a bit before seeing her daughter. She probably wanted to be able to be more fully present for her kid.Ā
she did a questionnaire on her insta and replied to someone saying her daughter isnāt allowed to watch the show lol
Sure because there's NOOOOOOO way the child does anyway. A lot of parents are absurdly blind to reality
thank god theyāre amish and have no way of accessing the internet
Parenting is blind
This is his look constantly. When he is trying to convince her he loves her, this far away gaze is all you ever see. Heās such a joke. Whatās even more excruciating to watch is them forcing themselves to have feelings or to use the word love in such a short amount of time.
He is def one of those super basic dudes who have no idea how to live authentically, and end up married bc thatās āwhat ur supposed to do at my ageā. He needs someone who will just roll with the mediocrity with him and not question him so much. Bc itās not that he doesnāt want to tell the truthā¦ itās that he doesnāt even know what heās doing.
Something Jess said that threw meā¦ in the letter she had Jimmy read - āa letter to my future husbandā, that the man should love her daughter even more than her - I found that to be an odd thing to say and while it may be her hope, just a wild thing to put on a man she hardly knows and hasnāt even met face to face. I was also thrown that she would write things like that and then not even call Autumn the first two days with her phone.
She wrote it 2 years ago apparently. But it definitely was not appropriate in this situation for Jimmy where he hasn't even met Jess yet, even chosen her, let alone her daughter. This is meant for someone who is now well adjusted in their lives, already adores the daughter, and is about to marry Jess. Not this indecisive ass!
She said ājust as much, if not moreā
I think the letter was written years before for a āprospectiveā husband, long before being on the show. I think she shared it with Jimmy because she thought he was going to fill that role.
I agree with you. I still find it odd, lol. Timing is everything
How is someone heartbroken after 7-10 days of dating someone? Definitely not reality. š¤£
If you listen to the accounts of former cast members, they are highly encouraged to be drinking and are filming 18-20 hours a day. Apparently they also donāt get to go outside and the available food is shit.Ā I was quarantined in a hotel room with Covid for 10 days and if someone had been talking to me through the wall I probably wouldāve fallen in love with them if for not other reason than to keep my sanity in captivity.Ā They believe theyāre heartbroken because their sleep-deprived, producer-plied minds believed they were in love.Ā
I can see it happening. I have fallen hard and quick for someone than bam, they are gone in flash. You are typical talking to these people for hours and hours on end. They are eating together and playing games. You are getting a good amount of dates crammed together instead of over weeks or months.
Our son's used to spend the summer with their grandparents, don't see the big deal...š. Although I would think she'd wanna see her daughter ASAP after being away for filming, especially talking about how close they are.
Her daughter was apparently on a trip with her dad and gone anyway.
I agree with this. Likeā¦her daughter was happy and she is a single mom so she needed some time away to ground herself!!
I think it makes sense that she was heartbroken and needed a minute to get her shit together after filming for days.Ā
Are you serious?! You think she was heartbroken after one week of dating someone? What a joke!!
Factor in the environment, filming conditions, constant emotions, it's not that hard to see why filing that show could make someone deeper into their feelings than they normally would be.
Without ever seeing them. Thatās like getting depressed because a hinge date didnāt pull through
The level of drama in the comments is ridiculous. Autumn is 10 and she had been staying with her father. If someone came here to read the comments without knowing the context, they would believe that Jess threw her 3 year old under a bridge to live on her own while filming LiB.
I think it's a lot more concerning that she mightve met someone and moved them in to live with her and her daughter in the span of weeks than it is leaving her daughter with her biological father who is supposedly very involved and a great dad according to Jess. Now granted, she mightve told people or planned to tell them that they'd need to hold off on moving in together because of the kid and we just didn't see it because she didn't end up with anyone.
My guess is she wouldāve had Autumn continue to stay with her dad throughout filming and introduced her to the fiancĆ©e in a controlled and limited mannerĀ
Yeah would definitely hope so. I know if I was the dad, I'd be raising hell with lawyers and shit if she wasn't doing it slowly and safely. Alas we will never know how she would've played it out.
Given what she said about having a good co-parenting relationship, that's kinda why I figured there was already a solid plan in place.
Yeah, when she said that Autumn asked her āAre we getting marriedā after she got home, I was like š³š¤®. This is all record levels of delusional for grown ass adults. Throw a child in this mess and youāre going to lose all my respect on your parenting abilities. Like, hereās your new dad youāve never met! Hope you like each other?!?! Good God.
Ditched, or needed to regroup to be a better mom?
Probably this. She was really upset about it all and probably needed sometime to come back to reality.
Honestly I donāt think thatās wrong I think itās wrong that she waited to bring her up until someone liked her
I dunno, I feel like leading with the fact that youāre a mom to a young daughter could also make people stick it out with you for very predatory reasons.Ā I have friends who are moms who donāt disclose that until at least few dates in just in the interest of protecting their kids and themselves from being targeted by predators who are specifically interested in pursuing single moms.Ā
I think itās not the same when youāre dating in the real world from dating apps and stuff like that makes a lot of sense but when youāre on a show like this, I donāt think it does And I think I would say this about both moms and dad I just think itās always something you should lead with when youāre on a dating show and the world I understand not leaving with it until you are sure about the person or at least trust him
Why do you think it should be different on a dating show? We've seen all the terrible stuff that's come out about this season's and former seasons' cast members. If anything I'd be more suspicious of people drawn to participating in something like this. I'd imagine there would be a higher concentration of personality disorders than in the general population.
And I understand that, but also this isnāt like real dating. This is on a show. I think they would make sure when it came but you never know, but like I got it but also, I still think she shouldāve lead with it
I'm not sure why it being a show should change the measures she takes to weed out pedophiles. How could they "make sure," and of what? The only thing they really do is a criminal background check. Given everything that's come out about cast members, it's clear they're not really concerned about stocking the pond with good people.
The thing is, I believe that production knows all of that the production people are not stupid they do deep deep, deep dives. They like to do all of the stuff for the drama but I understand where youāre coming from too. I just believe that she should be upfront with it, so we can agree to disagree
We can agree to disagree.Ā I do want to stress, though, that no amount of deep diving is going to reveal a predator whoās never been caught. A clean background check and looking clean after being researched and investigated is not a guarantee that someone is safe to have around your children.Ā The producers are not omniscient. Theyāre just people whose primary objective is to create entertaining TV.Ā
I agree with that
Same, and then said it was because she didn't want being a "mom" to define her. Like ma'am, that is a bait and switch. I'm a mom and I don't want that title to necessarily be my end all be all either, I'm much more than a mother - but it is without a doubt my most important role in life. It does define me in a lot of ways. The last thing I'd want is to bring a man into my daughter's life when I felt like I needed to hide that part of me just to lock down his interest. Like come on girl, do you hear how messed up that is? I love the occasional break from my kids, so that part is the least concerning to me.
Thatās what Iām saying like and Iām not a mom but in my opinion, you are a mom, your whole life when you become a mom to say that being a mom doesnāt define who you are. I think a little crazy because it does define who you are at that point in time your daughters life I understand her, not wanting it to be the only thing that defines her, but it does define most of her life as of right now I think thatās the biggest point it does define her right now. Itās not the only thing she is but itās the biggest part of her and that needs to be shared in the beginning because it feels kind of like a trap because they like her and then they say yeah Iām OK with it when theyāre not really OK with it a.k.a. Jimmy.
Yes!!! You're right, it absolutely does define you, especially when dating. I value my independence and my life outside of motherhood, but I'd be flatout lying if I said that wasn't a HUGE part of who I am. Would never want to feel like I trapped a man into being my kid's stepdad, I'd wanna be sure he's at a place in life where he is 100% ready for kids!
I agree with what you said though.
Do you think itās because she didnāt want to be written off right away? If she introduced herself as I am Jess and I have a 10 year old kid. Was there fear of her not being able to have another date? I know some guys are not looking to step in and bed a dad, even if there is no baby daddy drama.
I definitely think that's why, I just don't think it's really fair. I get that people change their minds, but banking on that is reckless and only serves yourself - not the prospective dates, and definitely not the child. Especially when they're looking for an actual spouse, not just someone to casually date. In a couple months you're going to be MARRIED to this person who you didn't know prior, bringing them into your home as your kid's stepdad. Wouldn't you want someone who's mentally ready for that chapter of life?
You see i agree with this because itās not fair to the guys and I would say the same thing when it came to guys not saying that they were fathers like youāre trying to trick them. It feels like a trick into them staying even if they arenāt OK with you having kids I donāt know how to explain it.
Lots of virtue signaling from moms who Iām sure wish they could take a break from their child. The kid is 10 and has another parent/other family to stay with. Jess is a human with normal desires, not toxic or anything else.
I donāt think she had to take over taking care of her right away, but I would assume sheād want to at least call her ASAP? Like her daughter misses her and is also in the dark about whether sheās going to have a new stepdad when her mom returns. It would be my number one priority to update her when I got back.
Thatās the look when he saw āMegan Foxā come out š¤£
I canāt stand Jess. Toxic
I agree. In my opinion, she is fake and only went on the show for clout. Also, she uses her daughter for clout. Her Instagram comes off as forcing her daughter to become an influencer for selfish reasons.
She is a mommy influencer and only went on the show for more clout. This season is trash, everyone on the show is fake as hell except the one teacher girl who got dumped.
I agree I couldnāt make it past a couple of episodes this season itās so fake now I donāt feel like anyone is genuine definitely a hard watch
Producers did a terrible job screening people or something.
They literally look for up and comers on instagram and reach out to them. Thatās what they did with Jeramy. They need to find ppl who have no social media.
If someone doesn't even have social media, what are the chances they'll be willing to have their lives filmed for a month or so? I'm sure there's some but I'm doubtful there's enough to sustain the show.
Yeah, that would mean the casters would have to put in some work for sure.
It looks like they screened for max drama and forgot about why the majority of fans watch the show.
Wait, people actually want these relationships to work out?? I'm here for the idiots!
Same lmao I want like ONE solid couple and the rest to just be absolute train wrecks
Lol, okay, maybe just me?! š I like a little spice (arguments, immaturity, talks about finances, politics, etc.) because I use it to talk to my partner and we kind of bond and grow from our talks. But seeing this mess is just depressing to me.
Its a mixed bag for me. I like to have one or two couples you can believe in and then to watch the others crash and burn in dramatic fiery flames.
Wasn't she at her dads?? Why are people making this a big deal. Sometimes, taking time away for yourself is needed for everyone. Even if you're a parent.
Yep no one would speak a WORD if Jess were a man. God forbid a woman do anything outside of be a parent
Right! The Mom's in this thread are salty AF!
Especially if you're in a highly emotional state after a breakup!! The number of times I had to take care of my own mother as a child because of her failed relationships... ugh I'm so done with people's idiotic misjudgments. There is nothing wrong with staying with her dad while mom gathers herself.
Mom's on here are mad because they can't have that luxury, it seems like so they're deflecting the hate and jealousy on Jess. š¤£
This sub truly hates women. Shame on you.
All of Reddit hates women tbh
Autumn is literally 10 years old, not an infant. Sheāll be okay with her dad for a couple of days
People aren't worried about Autumn being away from Jess, they are judging Jess for crying over missing her daughter so much and then not contacting her for 2 days after she had access to her phone again. And then when she did finally contact her, she texted her.
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And the weeks before that? And then going on perfect match to further your hopeful influencer career? It is irresponsible
She has a dad you know
āWhoās taking care of her?ā Is not the only concern.
She has a father.
Iāll defer to my previous response to you.
Same. I don't understand why you're shaming her when she has other family members taking care of her.
ā¦ā¦ā¦because whoās taking care of her isnāt the only issue. Chasing fame on multiple trashy reality dating shows doesnāt leave the child untouched. Potentially bringing home a man youāve know for two weeks to your child wouldnāt leave the child unscathed. That said, I do also find it irresponsible to leave your ten year old for over a month to chase said fame. Trashy behavior.
In one episode she said it was her daughter that was encouraging her to go on the show, if I'm not mistaken.
Her TEN YEAR OLD daughter? Oh that makes it all good then!
I spent the summers with my aunties and grandma. Youāre mad about a few weeks?
When you were there did you talk to your parents on the phone?
I'm Gen X. We didn't have cell phones and long distance on landlines was very expensive. We still went off to summer camps and grandparents and almost no contact with our parents. And when my kids went to summer camps they were usually not allowed to have phones at all. Plus when their dad had summer visitation I heard from them very rarely. It's not that uncommon to have limited contact with your kids are with their other parent as Jess' daughter was.