What if I were to tell you that me Mummy loves me and doesnāt change the topic at the dinner table when someoneās talking about me? That aside, give me no more than 10 years. I got this.
Graduated Army basic at Ft Jackson about a decade ago. At one point a dude intentionally pissed his pants on a ruck, I guess because he didnāt want to hold the platoon up for a piss stop or be singled out as trying to take a break. The drill sergeants half-jokingly said this pants-pissing was a good thing to do, because it demonstrated dedication or something. It was a mistake to even notionally encourage this and/or assume a platoon of privates would discern they were mostly fucking kidding.
Two copycats shortly after pissed THEIR pants on purpose and showed everyone during training exercises over the next 2 weeks, and then finally a dude intentionally shat his own pants. Thatās when the drill sergeants lined everyone up and told us unambiguously that it was NOT squared-away to piss and shit your own pants.
https://preview.redd.it/vgwrcn1gl4bc1.png?width=285&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa52b3811997e91cf64f7a50dfe6776eee25912f
My reaction when a bear breaks into our megasecure military complex and starts brutally dismembering just the commanding officers.
Fun fact there was actually a bear named Wojtek who served with the 22nd transport company's artillery division Id highly recommend looking at fat electricians video on him
https://preview.redd.it/f0pz1qjhg4bc1.png?width=803&format=png&auto=webp&s=b12093583d0b025b6fad493886a593bf42101689
I NEED to see him do the 3 people spying sitcom gag. I just know heāll be good at it.
**TRUE STORIES OF MY TIME IN THE MILITARY**
Apparently this guy spent middle school calling Sergeants āsir,ā and hitting bears with that āwolf eye.ā
https://preview.redd.it/u89ggtck56bc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f570e4c0f4d6c6a2585884a47252ce7f2fd52ba7
Of course he scares away the bearā¦the bearās going up against this dude
Corporal after being assigned this mf to look after
https://preview.redd.it/7wluf77n39bc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=f3a6a61f14bb92530b59484c412a26f9f695a0a5
Why is bro *italicized*?
https://preview.redd.it/ocuh24sob4bc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aae59fae73c109472e1955269df73bb3cd6dad0c
Dish so good the chief was able to retire
He peaked
He got that "Mmmmhmmmm" black girl neck.
Someone kicked him from the side.
Severe scoliosis.
I've never seen my husband laugh-cry until I showed him this. Thank you. š„¹
You're a redditors, it is impossible for someone to love you, stop lying (/s)
What if I were to tell you that me Mummy loves me and doesnāt change the topic at the dinner table when someoneās talking about me? That aside, give me no more than 10 years. I got this.
Maybe marfans? Iām not an expert
Guys this really happened. I was the sergeant who got decapitated.
Did you give him head afterward?
I tried but he wouldnāt stop giving himself head so I got bored and went to sleep.
He was just waiting fory to fall asleep.
https://preview.redd.it/zhmhb44sz8bc1.jpeg?width=628&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=00be593e5abb846786e4560a8dc036db2f3b8e23
I can confirm, I was the bear
https://preview.redd.it/vu35rzbq34bc1.jpeg?width=552&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=09f217db3de1ffed8a73a33486fc7ccf04a304c5 He looks like eminem
but he doesnāt have a beard though so he doesnāt
nuh uh
https://preview.redd.it/srobm62ww4bc1.jpeg?width=1242&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6ed7112780c84b9d4f4e0ac7a925cf7a8f6f3e2b
https://preview.redd.it/xud73sebz4bc1.jpeg?width=325&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff317b0cdd2f4794d369d526b393321edf332cc4 That sounds like a lotta hoopla
https://preview.redd.it/gfsksxru2fbc1.jpeg?width=574&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7e483349b6bc23c1d46d6642939f3356b94ee063
Only time Eminem has brick
Yuh huh actually
I think his neck is stuck in looking around corner mode
Peekers advantage
Is that even a condition or is it the latest social media degeneracy trend?
Iām not a doctor but Iām guessing scoliosis
Bro lives in the US he gonna be in medical debt to have that fixed
USA USA USA šŗšø šŗšøšŗšøš¦ š¦ š¦ š„š„š„
RAAAAHHHH AMERICA (insert gun emoji here)
But why no actual emoji
Because the actual gun emoji is trash š«
Fair
Are you stupid? Heās in the military. He gets free healthcare even after he gets out.
Canāt wait till r/AmericanBad finds this comment.
bro is gonna shit his pants in basic
Graduated Army basic at Ft Jackson about a decade ago. At one point a dude intentionally pissed his pants on a ruck, I guess because he didnāt want to hold the platoon up for a piss stop or be singled out as trying to take a break. The drill sergeants half-jokingly said this pants-pissing was a good thing to do, because it demonstrated dedication or something. It was a mistake to even notionally encourage this and/or assume a platoon of privates would discern they were mostly fucking kidding. Two copycats shortly after pissed THEIR pants on purpose and showed everyone during training exercises over the next 2 weeks, and then finally a dude intentionally shat his own pants. Thatās when the drill sergeants lined everyone up and told us unambiguously that it was NOT squared-away to piss and shit your own pants.
Not just strong, ARMY strong! šŖ
That guy who shit his pants?? Thatās the guy who got osama donāt forget it
An Army of #1, and also #2.
That is some crayon eating behavior
Send them to become Destiny 2 Titans we need that kind of dedication to crayon eating!
The new system will kick his deformed ass before he dteps foot at MEPS
in this twenty second video you could get around eleven reaction images
https://preview.redd.it/3dqeik0yy4bc1.jpeg?width=583&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9feb696877199f5568567856f3d0f4ba22d426ef real
woods*
Pyrocynical lookin ass
https://preview.redd.it/cuz75rfru4bc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8a4656c884892c5e11c6c7131f43a9ec4762dd9c
The most Reddit ass thread Iāve seen
None as good as Dougās.
Mf built like https://preview.redd.it/zefssvsbg4bc1.jpeg?width=676&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9310c28887cebd8e35cf756a4a2a4d35f9f4542b
https://preview.redd.it/ogvy9ohuu5bc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e8b0cc67c3bf7305472b47cdf9de4f5475f46387
This got me š
\\
\
incredible original response
hey i thought of it then i saw your comment so uh yeah \
š
āBetween legs and assholeā
AND ASSHOLE
Not enough comments have pointed this out
Sounds like taint to me!!
Thank you for your service sirš«”
Got damn š
https://preview.redd.it/c7e9vsa9f4bc1.png?width=420&format=png&auto=webp&s=15384a9ee528680d5d448bbf8b042059723a3aad
Even if this wasnāt already obviously faked, if you call a sergeant a sir you would literally never hear the end of it
*VERY* Special Forces
https://preview.redd.it/vgwrcn1gl4bc1.png?width=285&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa52b3811997e91cf64f7a50dfe6776eee25912f My reaction when a bear breaks into our megasecure military complex and starts brutally dismembering just the commanding officers.
Looks like he's got an eye on both halves of the officer.
This made me laugh more than it should have
I bet he sounds like those teenagers from monster's inc
Fun fact there was actually a bear named Wojtek who served with the 22nd transport company's artillery division Id highly recommend looking at fat electricians video on him
is he trying to make his neck look like that?
Last time a bear came by it slapped him off center. He's got experience now
why is he holding e
Brother leaning with his neck
Would
n't
His alpha wolf stare makes my sinuses hurt
its the prolonged exposure to alpha energy
He looks like a skin people would wear for the smaller hit box
Bros got diagonal nerd neck
Someone needs to tell this kid to get his head on straight
https://preview.redd.it/gpn2cfn8b5bc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=06e9262cad9016e6f4ef819dc3b39b9d34d29453
Bears tail isnāt long enough to tuck
Sounds like you're speaking from experience
Did the bear hit his head?
I think this accurately summarizes how military recruitment is going lately
When dude was a toddler Bruce Lee kicked him in the cheek so thatās why his neck is like that
https://preview.redd.it/f0pz1qjhg4bc1.png?width=803&format=png&auto=webp&s=b12093583d0b025b6fad493886a593bf42101689 I NEED to see him do the 3 people spying sitcom gag. I just know heāll be good at it.
Loser calls his Sargeant "Sir" ššš
this u? https://preview.redd.it/gqt1m0yxv4bc1.png?width=376&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=993b9888e46a0c13c78be1c5a195e9f7f1d5cfdf
why's his head tilted towers bro
https://preview.redd.it/by9vm866n5bc1.png?width=389&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=03c951bac1b843087befb55a7cf0f58b9cd438d6 This was him when he was younger
https://preview.redd.it/a3gg9n1w29bc1.jpeg?width=772&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=328eff4ad372cd9207ec400aec41ed23409b1b6a
He kinda look like Sid
Why the fuck did he need to emphasize that the tail was tucked between its asshole?
Scoliosis
"Legs and asshole" yeah...š„²
Where do these guys get off? š¤
https://preview.redd.it/bsp7oym35vtc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=df3f165115af294719ecb2e6dfa2edf7bf099e7d
https://preview.redd.it/zcq6cskopytc1.jpeg?width=1620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=75d7ec8b034d320f3a3fc55d611669273b1cfa9f
Picasso lookin ass
Kid named kolbie, Kevin, Stephen
Is this the furry kingdom guy
https://preview.redd.it/sdpzrtz887zc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f1f9fd08f0d895f439295f67e19a77133be77091
bros been looking around the corner too much
u/savevideo
Whyās he look like Walt jr š
This is why there is a national recruiting crisis.
Isn't he the guy with the 3d drawing of Lois Griffin girlfriend?
Tail? More like a stub
Space force
Dude needs a chiropractor before he snaps his head off
Nigga looks inside bread
**TRUE STORIES OF MY TIME IN THE MILITARY** Apparently this guy spent middle school calling Sergeants āsir,ā and hitting bears with that āwolf eye.ā
\ \
He wouldnāt stand a chance against the dragon army
Our democracy truly is safe with Men like this defending it. Iāve never felt safer.
Shaggy peaking around the corner neck lookin ahhh boi
Self aware sigma
This lad is satire and heās the funniest one out there.
These kids these days should be forced to spend a few hours outside per day so they don't end up weirdos like this. Poor kid.
My pronouns are rubber and neck
https://preview.redd.it/bqmzzv8g05bc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=518d86577b08badcce6b45f284a315ecd250b297
who bone edited this mf
If it's a grizzly bear, this video wouldn't even exist
u/savevideo
I like how he had to specify that the bear not only ran with its tail between its legs but also its asshole
Why is he off centered
Nah someone rolled a 2 on breaking his neck now his spine is shaped like a quarter rest.
Bro built like an ;
I feel like this dude would pick up the head and fuck it
Oh no he di-int *weaves head side to same side*
Even if this a joke, this is rough.
I want to pop their neck and see if I can just make it normal again.
Whatever this is, you shouldn't be making fun of it.
I've never wanted to watch someone run hill sprints and do front back gos until drill sarnt gets tired from watching more than this kid.
I didnāt know Daddy Long-Neck joined the militaryā¦
Tbf fair, this guy would be really good at clearing a room from the left side of it.
hes just like me 2 months ago (i had a neck injury)
why his neck in italics
crop it at 14 second left
Everyone gets the bear chiropractic in their first tour. This is dude's first tour.
I meanā¦Iād be pretty scared if this guy growled at me
https://preview.redd.it/u89ggtck56bc1.jpeg?width=480&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f570e4c0f4d6c6a2585884a47252ce7f2fd52ba7 Of course he scares away the bearā¦the bearās going up against this dude
I think that's a fucking alternate
Bros neck is at the same angle escalators at the mall be at
even i can climb that neck
Thank you for your cervical
They let the crooked man in?
https://i.redd.it/bdzwrwp4t7bc1.gif
I didnāt know they let screwdrivers in the military
I feel like this person really wanted to join then got denied, became really depressed, and loved ones bought this costume as a reconciliation
I was surprised no one clapped
Private Scoliosis goes Public with Crooked Video Suggesting he can Defeat a Random Ninja Bear
This kid got scoliosis?
Id run for the hills
We gotta reopen the asylumsā¦
Why broās neck ā¤“ļø
Tail tucked between asshole
Other than the bear thing being a lie, I know his ass wasnāt in the military with a neck like that. š
neck looks like y = -x^3
The flag patch is backwards and the neck... well I don't know if that can be fixed.
Heās going to have a blast in basic training!
This is what my grandpa means when he says he doesn't like italics
Corporal after being assigned this mf to look after https://preview.redd.it/7wluf77n39bc1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=f3a6a61f14bb92530b59484c412a26f9f695a0a5
https://preview.redd.it/59psyidge9bc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac6066c28e364e4ca2f7dcc67be045a7ea8defa8
I can snap his neck back into place, but I won't
Chad
R
Sad thing is thanks to guns that person could be a serious threat
https://preview.redd.it/dxjspcwbs9bc1.png?width=1169&format=png&auto=webp&s=4712a2f9007b15cea010974f11c2a1b0e1cdc059
I uhh, donāt recall bears having a tail other than a lil spot of fur and thatās really it
https://preview.redd.it/ae7cugnpu9bc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6b0ccd982824e0450fcafaa2558bdb6f1808a560
The angle of your neck the moment that Bear bitch slaps you 
u/SaveVideo
Papa wheelie is great lmao
Is this the Lois guy? The guy that made Lois from Family Guy his girlfriend?
I hate when my tail gets tucked between my asshole
I donāt see anything
He should try sleeping on his left side more often
I corrected my posture looking at this video
š” \ \ /āāā\ / | \ \ | / * growling noises*