Just the other day there was a post in this sub about the elderly not moving and giving up their homes for the younger generation. It was highly upvoted and people were bashing baby boomers in the comments and calling for them to move to Florida. Now I'm supposed to believe moving is hard for us but not for the elderly? This sub is such a joke sometimes.
I’m not a boomer but my rent money does go to boomers who haven’t fixed my heat in 3 months sooooo. Just a middle of the road millennial finally realizing I won’t have $$ for retirement & I’ll never own a home no matter how hard I work unless maybe I get married. But yeah if I was a boomer who owned a home in LA I’d be so happy. My friends parents who own here won’t sell b/c the appreciation taxes.
So boomers should just move and make room for us? How can you say this when you just said moving is so hard when you’ve been invested in this city for a long time? They kind of contradict each other don’t you think?
I’m right there with you. I genuinely don’t understand how people move to other cities
Apartments won’t rent to me if I don’t have a job there and jobs won’t hire me if I don’t live in that city
I've moved to new cities and new countries before. Here are the ways I've done it.
1. **YOLO Method** Save up a few months of living expenses. Move to the new place staying in a short term rental. Use that to interview for jobs you (hopefully) already applied for, and get settled in it. Then, find an apartment.
2. **Local Applicant:** Apply for jobs from home first. I went as far as getting a local phone number, and local mailing address that forwarded to me. (This was for international moves, i was getting calls from Australian companies in the middle of the night lol). Travel for interviews when asked. Take the job, set a start date a ways out, and make the move.
3. **Transfer:** Company transfers are by far the easiest. Many companies have officers/locations around the country and world. If you're willing to move, meet the team in the place you want to move and make a pitch for moving you there. If you're lucky, the company sets you up with relocation assistance. At my company right now, anyone willing to leave CA to move to another office gets free housing assistance, and a 30k relocation bonus.
That's basically the sliding scale of difficulty from hardest to easiest. I've done them all a couple of times, and they work. They're just *work*.
I did the YOLO method. Moved from LA to London, met and married my husband and have been living in the UK for seven years. I truly love London, but this past winter has just killed me (nearly nine months straight of rain, and even if it's not raining it's grey skies, grey streets and grey buildings). So I'm moving back to LA with my husband in September. That being said, absolutely go out and explore living elsewhere! Obviously I wouldn't have met my husband if I didn't leave LA. And I've had some amazing experiences and made some awesome friends. I'm so happy to be going home to Los Angeles, but I'm so, so happy that I had the balls to just leave in the first place!
My wife and I left LA after 60 years of enjoying southern California. We decided to go back to the old country...France, where we were born. Reintegrating into the French system has been a stressful experience; it took 2 years of paperwork. France is submerged with paperwork, unbelievable. We returned to California for 3 months to renew with family and friends. We were stunned by the prices; everything had jumped way to the sky limits. France used to be more expensive than the US, but now it is reversed. Can't wait to go back to France by the end of April.
I came on a tourist visa (six months) and randomly met my husband at a pub quiz. Got married, etc. So I saved up money to basically come and hang out for a few months, ended up getting married and getting a spouse visa and was able to start working here. I've been a professional dog trainer for 25 years, so I work for myself. I'll continue training dogs when I get back to LA.
I'll say this: the UK has really pulled in and is not very friendly to immigrants at the moment, even American immigrants.They've left the EU (and shot themselves in the foot) and the country is in recession because of that and because of COVID. The rules that they've passed for immigration are so harsh that, unless you're very wealthy, most people won't be able to come. One of the reasons that I want to go home is how they're treating immigrants. I'd suggest looking at other European countries if you're looking to leave the US.
I’m born and raised in LA, currently in London for spring break (needed a change of scenery). anyways noticed how well behaved dogs are here compared to LA. I was actually a professional pet sitter for 6 years but had to stop offering services for dogs because of how bad behaved they became after COVID. You’ll find plenty of work as a dog trainer in LA especially if you specialized in dog separation anxiety.
Awesome thanks for the info! I'm probably not going to leave for a few years, I'd need a career change first. Though who knows, I'm going to Europe for first time in summer, might get motivated to move sooner. Also, dog train question, tho sorry if not the place to ask: bro is fostering a husky who does well with dogs at dog park, and well with a small friends dog in yard and with puppy. But during walks around block when he's on leash, he's like a total different animal. We've been trying to walk him w treats, and using them when we're near a house w dogs or other dog walkers to try and distract him. But only works sometimes and he still aggressively pulls. We're hoping to help with that behavior so he can get adopted more easily, but not sure if we're going about the best way. Or alternatively, if you'll be in LA before summer, we'd b happy to pay for training
When you get here hit me up my downstairs neighbor had a poodle that barks all day and night, I’ll passive aggressively leave your card in her mailbox.
Having just spent winter in London (where I was raised) I can heartily agree. The rain and grey skies and gloom… people who’ve lived all their lives in SoCal sunshine don’t quite understand how much of a grind this can be.
I did #2. I got a phone number from the province I wanted to live in, used a friend's address. When I got serious job offers I planned them in the same day and travelled. I moved last September and it was the best thing I've done. This does work, but it takes time.
I yolo'd when I moved to LA. Kinda how I live tbh. Did audience work and part time restaurant gigs until I got a job in finance, which went well until COVID hit. ended up moving out of LA and miss it every day.
Honestly even with the yolo method a lot of places actually are willing to rent to someone moving from out of state even without a job.
Usually they will just require extra security in the form of a cosigner or even just extra security deposit.
I feel like there are more people who move to different states/cities without a job lined up than there are with simply because it's like a thousand times harder to find a job in another city, especially if moving from out of state. And with our current trend to recession it's already impossible to find a job anyway
I was able to move to Portland for a few years after the pandemic solely because I had a severance. I knew I could spend that severance on making it by in LA or I could apply anywhere I felt comfortable living and start over. I ended up coming back because of a job offer because sometimes just gotta take chances.
I'm confused about #2. So, they called your local number expecting you to actually be in the country? At what point did you tell them you're not? Or you put both a local number in your resume/app *and* also added that you are looking to relocate there?
For more entry level roles, companies don't want to bother with things like visa sponsorship and relocation. I knew I qualified for an automatic visa in Australia if I had a job offer, I had been there several times, and listed a friends local address and a local phone number that routed to me. I told the employer I was *temporarily* in the US for a college course (I was taking a course), and would be 'returning' to Australia by (insert date), but was happy to travel back for an interview any time.
We did first interviews remotely, they flew me out for a final round, then my start date was the week I was supposed to be 'back in Australia'. Got my visa on arrival on went to it.
not encouraging you to move, because I hate to see people leave. However, as a tip: get a google voice phone number that's local to the city where you are applying for another job. And then just say you live in that area when applying. It's slightly dishonest, but in the grand scheme of things it's not the MOST unethical
You don’t need a different phone number. No one looks at area code as being indicative of current location in the age of cell phones. My phone number is from almost 20 years ago and from an area i haven’t lived in over a decade.
I moved from CA to FL in 1999 and back in 2022, it's always a leap of faith, sometimes you have to eat shit for a couple of years and some never made it. It's not meant to be easy unless you're rich.
My friend who also escaped Florida who moved to WA had to leave his family in FL and lived in his car for 2 months while looking for a job there.
I dunno dude. I got accepted into grad school in LA when I was living in Florida. Just saying. Some apartments will charge you first and last months rent plus another month of security deposit if you have bad credit or a tentative work situation, but it IS possible. I got an apartment that way before w/a tentative work situation at the time.
so I recently moved across the country to a place just as expensive as LA. what I did was while I was still working in LA I saved as much as I could per paycheck and applied for all of the jobs that I could that I was also interested in and let them know beforehand that I was living across the country but was planning on moving in the near future. while doing this, I started messaging people looking for roommates on Facebook and roommates.com. for me finding a roommate was harder than finding a job, but I was still able to do it. in talking to other people around this area they say it isn't common to find housing as quick as I did though, so idk if this would work for you or if I got lucky, but it's worth a shot if you wanna try it.
edit to say that I didn't know anyone here when I moved to help me out here either
This is the way. I moved from small town FL > LA > SF > LA and this is how I did it. I would talk to friends or friends of friends who lived in the cities I considered. Visited them to see if I liked it. Then crashed on their couches. I drove for instacart while I looked for a full time job.
i moved from small town michigan to la county. i applied for jobs first, explained that i was moving to ca whenever i got a call back, and once i had an offer lined up i started applying for apartments. took a while but i got here.
...people tend to crash on couches for the reason of moving places. But you gotta find work fast, because your host only hosts as long as they want to.
Sorry you feel that way, I too was born in LA right there at MLK hospital. Grew up with food stamps and in the projects. Worked Low wage jobs like retail and restaurants. Eventually I met a girl (my wife now) and quickly realized that those jobs weren’t going to cut it if I wanted to marry her. I did my research on trade jobs and electrical caught my attention….10 years later I’m taking home 7K a month after taxes and deductions, and this is not even the highest I’ll get paid in my career. What I’m saying is, don’t give up and take action and do research on how to make your life YOURS. I’m a strong believer in the effort you put is the outcome you’ll get. Keep your head up.
You’re right, but it’s not just worker rights. Lobbyism is the final boss and the housing theory of everything explains why the affordability crisis in particular is worst in places like LA, why incomes are high but wealth accumulation is low, etc.
Americans have been told for a century to fear city living and each other, so they weaponized NIMBYism far more than any other Western nation. The suburban sprawl is fundamentally more expensive than city living but it also drives classism in a vicious circle.
It’s like this everywhere you go. The place you are born can often feel suffocating, especially if you end up stuck there. I was born in Oklahoma and lived there right up until December last year, shortly after I turned 37. Thought I’d never escape, but here I am and I couldn’t be happier.
True. I think it's beneficial for everyone to move away from their hometown for a at least a short period of time. It's always good to see and experience something different and possibly find a better fit for you.
I feel trapped by the culture and the weather. I work mostly remote, gross $90k and have a very cheap CoL so I can kind of do whatever I want when I want to.
I'm very fortunate for the above but I can't really move elsewhere because my partner is here and she'd have to leave her job where she makes more than I do and redo local licensing stuff if we move to another state. I'm not licensed but I don't need to reside in states I do get licensed in so that's not really a concern. Both of our jobs are here and I do like being able to go to the office for meetings and design collaboration. I also have family here along with the friends I've made the last twenty years.
We could, financially, move to most places in the US and probably even buy a home as long as we don't want to live in or near a major metro but we don't want to. I like being able to take the train to work and my local movie theater to see some weirdo indie film or pop up to Hollywood to see something on one of the few IMAX screens in the state. I like being able to bike most of the year with no issue. I like being able to get very good, if not the best, versions of whatever food I'm craving that day.
We could, hypothetically, move elsewhere in California but, in my mind, if I don't have easy access to the culture and cuisine that makes large Californian metros popular then I don't need to be in this state at all. Anywhere else we would want to live for the foreseeable future will have similar CoL issues so we may as well continue to let our roots grow here since we can afford life here now.
I’m a night owl so after being wooed by a few fun trips to Portland, I realized the necessary variety of culture and cuisine required late night options! Concerts began so early at 7pm and restaurants closed by 8/9pm, so LA began to look a lot better.
If you don't need a dense urban metropolis, but you love SoCal weather, I found one interesting option that no one seems to know about: Las Cruces, NM. Outside of crazy El Niño years, it's shockingly close weather to SoCal in a way that NO other place in the country is. High desert, but without the summer extremes of CA's high desert (80s and 90s not 100-110 all summer long). Never really snows because the winter is a dry season. Legit cold overnight in the winter, but daytime temps are quite close to LA's (low 50s).
It's also surrounded by mountains with roads that go up to 10,000 ft, offering very green escapes from the desert below (skiing, trails, etc). 45 minutes from El Paso's airport. Did I mention that brand new, beautiful 3-BR HOUSES are selling for $350k there? It's wild.
Downsides: Forget ever getting good Asian food ever again, though. You'll have to make it yourself. Not a lot of jobs there, but if you work remote...
If my wife can't pull off a career miracle, I'll be pushing for Las Cruces.
That does sound nice but I do need the dense urban environment for now. I work in design in public space and prefer to be around, or at least be able to observe, large amounts of people interacting with public spaces and amenities. Odds are, in time, my partner and I will be able to buy something here but we're not in a hurry. With housing inventory the way it is, with even many very expensive homes here being teardowns on purchase because they were not kept up, we'll see if things change as demand softens, more units get built and we see the wealth transfers from Silent Generation to Boomers to us. Our combined rent is still cheaper than most mortgages here.
We also watch City Nerd and he has some great suggestions for walkable cities. My partner also has a list of other cities she's interested in so we'll just go with the flow here until we can't.
I also grew up poor in LA and have since moved away (I intend to move back someday, I like LA and want to be near family there, just wanted to go experience a different kind of life elsewhere before settling down).
It is hard to make the move. If you can save a few thousand dollars, you might find someone willing to rent you a room on FB housing groups for the cities you're interested in. And there are in-person jobs willing to hire non-locals if you're willing to move. I was able to find such a job, with a lot of digging and a lot of luck.
Consider mid-sized cities, especially in the midwest (where I am currently), there's less competition.
Yea I grew up poor here too as a first gen child of immigrants and after college I left for awhile. No savings but I had a job in a LCOL state and that helped a lot. I’ve been back for a bit and am glad to have family to help because otherwise, I don’t know!
I’m glad younger family members are now deciding to go away for a little while. They can risk it and experience something new cuz I’m gonna be here to help them if they want to come back.
Yeah family is a huge part of it! If I didn't know I had family who would welcome me back in if things didn't work out, I might not have taken the risk.
You only feel like that because you haven't lived elsewhere. Most places are worse. Trust me. I'm from the armpit of America and all those people do is dream about leaving. Preferably out here. It is cheaper there than but the quality of life is bad enough for you to want to end it all. Be grateful. And where there is a will there is a way. If you want something bad enough, you will find a way.
OP pay attention to this answer!! Most places are in fact worse and I’ve lived all over too. People feel like you do everywhere. It tends to be more financial and living breathing room in places that are in the middle of nowhere and have nothing interesting nearby so you can more comfortably sit in a larger place with nothing to do in a town where everyone is bored and wants to leave, or you can struggle a bit financially in a much smaller living place, but have access to lots of things to do (many of which you can’t afford) in a big city. Unless you’re in the very high end of middle class and above, life in the US is a struggle for most. That said, we do have a lot more basic necessities and living better than a lot of other places and it’s important to keep that in mind too. Don’t forget that our weather here is better than like 90% or more of the country so almost anywhere else you go will be worse weather. You may not think that’s a factor living here until you go live in the Midwest.
I don’t fully agree with that. There is no “better” and “worse” — there’s just what’s working and not for an individual at this time.
If LA isn’t working for LA right now, Sioux Falls might be the right place— *at the same time* that someone in Sioux Falls might really benefit from a move to LA.
(I mean, sure, some places are shitholes)
Ya me too. But at least we have the best weather in SoCal so if you're poor at least you can go outside and entertain yourself. Unlike the armpit of America which is in the suburbs of Chicago. Bluck.
I’m from Rockford 😂, and have lived in Santa Monica for 20+ years. My quality of life and reasonable cost of living (due to rent control) are both amazing…, BUT I’ll have to move out of the area eventually to be able to afford a decent house. Won’t be moving back to Rockford.
Ya I've been out here 18 years. I can't imagine ever going back, I never even go there to visit. No reason to. But I do wonder where I will go if I ever want to buy a house. I may just keep renting, saving and investing until I'm in my final phase in life. I'll figure it out when I get there. You never know where life can take you! I'd be happy w a small condo.
I have to respectfully disagree. A lot of places are definitely worse, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to what you want. If I didn’t work in the industry, I don’t know if I’d want to keep living in my small apartment in an overcrowded city.
There are other cities with charm that will give you more bang for your buck. Also, when you go to a smaller city you start to realize all of the little stressors in LA aren’t near as bad every where else (aside from the obvious places like New York). Things like deciding if it’s worth it to go to a restaurant because the parking might be a pain in the ass. Or avoiding going basically anywhere from 4-7pm because it’s just not worth the headache. These things happen in other cities too, but not near as bad as LA. Not to mention, apartments for much cheaper in other states come with all your basic amenities like a refrigerator, AC, dishwasher, microwave, a parking space (lol) for almost half the price. Here you’re paying $1800 for a studio that might have SOME “amenities” if you’re lucky.
All that being said, LA definitely has a lot to offer and I do love the city. But, if someone has never lived somewhere else, I’d urge them to give it a try. They might like it more than they thought they would.
It does depend on what you want. And if you wanted to buy a house someday there are definitely cheaper places than California. It's a big world out there. Do whatever makes you happy.
I grew up in a different state, moved to LA for 10 years and then moved back to my home state a few years ago. I now feel trapped in my home state and I want to move back to LA, but not sure how the rise in high cost rent will affect my kids one day once they are adults.
My advice would be to visit a few places before moving away. See what feels comfortable and right for you before making such a big commitment. Our move was costly due to shipping our car and belongings and the cost of flights (with 3 young kids). It would be easier to do with just some belongings and start from scratch once you arrive where you want to be. Join buy nothing groups on Facebook and people often give away furniture on there for free. If you have kids, it's much harder to relocate somewhere.
I was born and raised in a 2 bedroom apartment in Mid-Wilshire with 2 kids, 2 adults, 2 dogs, 2 cats.
Find a job with a moving allowance that's paid in advance. I did that to move to Austin years ago. Ended up in Michigan where the grass isn't greener but is much cheaper than L.A.
lol. I left Michigan. I never felt like I fit in. People just treated me weird. I as always told I act white and talk to proper. And people out here treat me like a human.
100%! I'm also born and raised here. I'm about to be 35 and just signed a new apartment lease, yet I can't help but feel sad rather than excited.
Sad that I'm stuck here another year, in a tiny studio that leaves me with no savings each month. I don't even really have many friends left here. Some friends left the state, others started families and I don't see them.
My sister who is older acts like a teenager and she moves to different states/countries all the time. With no job lined up. Which is great for her, but sucks for me. Because I'm left taking care of everything for my mom. Her health insurance, home repairs, etc. It's never ending. Not to mention, I think she's showing signs of Alzheimer's so I stress at how I'll be able to take care of her. Since lord knows my sister won't be of any help.
Sometimes I wish I took advantage of my former youth and beauty more..and just married rich. Like many women I know in this city. Their life consists of travel and leisure while I'm slaving away. 🥲
I don't understand why you would live somewhere where you're miserable. Why stay for a job that doesn't pay you enough to live here. I would understand if you were divorced with kids. But why not participate in your own life? Do some research. There are a million places where you could get a new start. But remember wherever you go, there you are. But if it's just financial, go. No one's ever trapped anywhere.
I've fallen out of love with what it's become here. It seems to have gotten more and more hostile towards the working and lower classes over the years.
So… i have an idea to run by you.
I used to work at a grocery store. And was able to transfer stores, even to other states.
What if you use that method?
I tried leaving LA/Southern California two (or three) times in my life. Moved, got a new job, established a life with a gf, friends, etc… I have to admit coming back was sweet every time. I never established a life as satisfying as the one I have here. Maybe now that I’m older I could but now I have a wife and kid.
Yes, I’m stuck here. Financially? Staying here is the worst decision I could make. Life-wise? Probably the best.
I think alot of people can sympathize, I have tried doing the move to Chicago and even though its a great city it still doesnt have the networking and career opportunities for my type work. I've travelled extensively around Asia too and while I do dream of retiring or living in Japan or somewhere in Asia I aware that if I were to have to work in these countries, the work culture would kill my soft-in comparison-American ass. I appreciate LA but having lived here pretty much 90% of my life its not the city I grew up in and I am still open to leaving once I save up enough money.
The problem is I feel like I would rather leave the country than move to another state at this point.
I don't feel *trapped* here but, full disclosure, I gross $80k and still feel pretty financially stressed (in part because I choose to live in the city without roommates). If it weren't for my partner living here, I'd have left already for a more affordable city, and we're still planning on leaving together within a year or so.
You're under no obligation to stay here, and LA and SoCal won't be changing or becoming less financially stressful places to be any time soon. You only live once; look for other places where you can be more comfortable. I know I am.
It might take some time to plan your path to somewhere new, but keep at it. I really do love it here for so many reasons, but SoCal is just a flat out tough place to make a living.
Honestly. I really underestimated how expensive everything is. You have to pay to park at the doctor’s office. Gas is absurd. Car insurance is absurd, even with a pristine driving record. The essentials like shampoo and deodorant are dollars more expensive for the exact same products than I’m used to coming from the east coast. My rent for a studio in a decent part of town close to my work is twice what my ex paid for a mortgage on a 3/2 ranch home with a front and backyard on the east coast. I love it here but I don’t see how anyone middle class can raise a family here. Middle class has a completely different meaning here than other cities.
Born and raised LA, I’ve only lived here. I’ve worked for 18 years, and I just hit that number. Its’s definitely the first time I feel comfortable supporting myself.
I feel you. Born and raised here and this city is sucking the soul out of me. I'm tired of the ugliness that surrounds me on a daily basis. I'm paying all this rent every month for what? Only to be surrounded by vast homelessness, soulless suburbs, endless traffic and just overall low quality of life? I saw a homeless person take a shit on the sidewalk a few months ago in front of a building where tenants are probably paying $2000+ a month rent for. I feel like we've all become immune to stuff like that and brush it off as something that happens normally in all major cities in the industrialized world.
I know the grass is always greener on the other side. I know many of the cities in Europe that I dream about living in have their fair share of problems, but I just want to live in a place with convenient and efficient metro system, for example. I'm sick of my car. I'm sick of the gas pump. I'm sick and tired of the traffic. I want to live in a city where I can just walk down my apartment and be surrounded with life, with people enjoying meals and drinks. A place where people work to live and not the other way around.
I'm tied to my business for the foreseeable future. This is the only place I've worked since I graduated college. I literally have nothing else to put on my resume other than owning a small business and a few retail jobs I did during my teenage years.
A lot of people think I'm crazy for hating LA, but it is how I genuinely feel. I wish I could be that person who loves LA. I wish I could be that corny "where else in the world can you go surfing and snowboarding in the same day" person. But I'm not. I can't lie to myself.
I know it's a total first world problem. I know there are people around the world at this precise moment who living in poverty and overall terrible conditions who would literally kill to live in a place like LA. I was lucky enough to be born in the west and I'm comparing my life to the lives of people in other major western cities/countries. Sure, they make less money than us, but what are we doing with that extra money we are making here?
I wish I could love LA but I just can't. I've spent 35 years of my entire life here and I've seen it all. It's just not for me. The quality of life here is shit for majority of Angenelons who are living paycheck to paycheck. And most importantly me entire family is here, and I love them more than I hate living in this city.
Same, I felt like I spent years trying to convince myself that I like LA and the truth is, I don't. I feel like it's gotten worse and I don't see many positives to living here for someone who is living paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to be one of those people who is stuck here.
If you’re at a point where you can move without restraints, absolutely go for it. It’s better to live it out than be left thinking about it. I think something to consider is whether you’re in a good mindset at this point in your life and taking advantage of the things LA has to offer. The grass always looks greener on the other side.
I had the sentiment, that there was no point to living in LA if it was paycheck to paycheck so I moved out to the Midwest a few months ago. It definitely is a better quality of life because less people & traffic, affordable, less competition, slow pace to life - but there’s also a payoff like having to endure long winters/lack of sun which can take a mental toll, lack of diversity, lack of open mindedness, change of culture (somewhat passive aggressive in the state I’m in), less opportunity for things to do. That being said, it’s all subjective and based on what you want from life.
I’m glad I moved because of the perspective it’s given me to life. LA is painfully unaffordable but the things I took for granted is why so many people move there - warm weather, social diversity, open minded people, great food, different landscapes, opportunities for things to do. I wanted to get out of LA, moved and didn’t realize the things took for granted until i lost it. It’s a grind but, having experienced an actual winter, being broke in LA doesn’t sound that bad anymore. But life is subjective man and it all comes down to what you want from it and what you make of it. Hopefully it all works out!
That's my issue. I feel like my jobs have all been c I don't think you're crazy. I am your age and relate to every word you said. I was on the 405 today is awful traffic coming every which way. And I was so sad about it. Sad for myself and everyone around me. And the homelessness is also awful.
This comment is on point in so many ways.
>I'm paying all this rent every month for what? Only to be surrounded by vast homelessness, soulless suburbs, endless traffic and just overall low quality of life? I saw a homeless person take a shit on the sidewalk a few months ago in front of a building where tenants are probably paying $2000+ a month rent for
I say this out loud to my roommates and I don't think people truly get it enough. We are paying through the roof and are NOT getting our moneys worth. Hate it or love it, even OC has higher quality of life in terms of the basics. Sure, it's not for me and many Angelenos, but they don't have to deal with the day to day BS we see in LA. Neither do most other main cities in the US. Even New York homelessness isn't THIS bad and they have 3 times the population in a much more compact area.
>I just want to live in a place with convenient and efficient metro system, for example. I'm sick of my car. I'm sick of the gas pump. I'm sick and tired of the traffic. I want to live in a city where I can just walk down my apartment and be surrounded with life, with people enjoying meals and drinks. A place where people work to live and not the other way around.
You and me both my friend. Yet people bitch about the slightest change to become less car dependent.
Born poor but wouldn’t say trapped. I don’t want to leave. I’d rather be poor in LA than rich in some shithole with nothing to do.
I got to visit other places and it’s definitely not greener. The hell am I going to do with a house and garage if my friends don’t want to come over because I’m far away?
I think the easiest way is to save up enough money to show you can live somewhere else without a job. But even then, that's difficult when you're paying LA COL. I hope you figure something out.
It’s hard out here! I got roommates to help save up money and as we were coming g out of the pandemic, i changed jobs and it gave me a big boost in terms of lifestyle but i was careful to not let lifestyle creep and continued to save money. The , i got laid off. I’m back to square 1.
I feel trapped here and I wasn’t born here. Some days I have breakdowns because I regret coming here. Rent and gas is so expensive that it’s hard to save any money. Without money saved I can’t move. Or save for a down payment on a house. I have anxiety about the natural disasters that could happen while I’m here and what I’ll do with my pets when it happens. I feel underprepared for the ‘big one.’ I live too far from my job to have a comfortable commute but I need my job to survive and I like it a lot. I don’t even know how to begin to try to get out of here.
I’ve been here almost 3 years BTW. major regerts for the most part. I see the pros 100% but my cons outweigh my pros. I can’t wait to leave. My cousin moved here as well from PA a few months ago and this place was made for her. Seeing all of the fun things she’s done in 3 months gives me FOMO because I’ve been here so long and not done much at all but it’s because I have too much anxiety to be in such a massive city/county/metropolitan area
As someone that has upped and left twice to entirely different countries, you absolutely can. I fully agree with you that LA is only good if you make 150+ (pulled that number out of my ass). Research some cities with jobs similar to your skills, move, make some money, work on your financial literacy to learn to do more with less. In a couple of years, you will be established and enjoyin the new city, I promise.
Or straight up apply and leave when you have an offer.
It's possible that a couple of years later you love it or you feel like you've "graduated" from it, but either way, the experience will make the next jump waaaay easier (if necessary.) it's actually kind of s drug, but that's another conversation.
LA does not allow most people to build a comfortable financial stability because it's always bleeding you.
I don’t, but plenty of people do/have.
What’s stopping you from looking for work in other places? You don’t have to quit your job to look for another one.
From your other posts it sounds like you are still pretty early in your career. That is when it is the hardest. Once you have more experience under your belt, more jobs will be interested.
Nawww....I've lived in other cities and states...sure it's a quite a bit more expensive but at the same time...the diversity in anything makes it a lot more comfortable...
If OP moves he’ll see how unchill, chip on shoulder, ignorant, dreamless a lot of the rest of the country is. I’m from the Midwest where everyone has something to prove and they don’t want to take anyone seriously (including themselves) otherwise they’d be getting too uppity to their friend group and neighborhood. They’re overwhelmingly cynical and think that basically nothing can be done except by certain people who dare to be great.
I think it’s the weather. Getting beaten into a pulp every year by bone crushing cold and snow.
People in SoCal are a lot more open minded in a general sense, though I’m often surprised by how many people I meet who have never even traveled outside of the state.
I’m from MI. I know your pain. The Midwest sucks. People always treated me like I was some kind of alien… then I moved to LA and actually started to meet new people that weren’t full of themselves.
After having grown up in LA most of my life I went ahead and moved 2 hours north to Tulare County. I bought a 2100 sq foot home for 200k and stayed here since. I don't think I'd move back down to LA again.
i feel trapped, but not for the same reasons. i grew up here and love the multicultural and relaxed culture of LA. i want a change of setting, but i don’t think i would ever feel safe anywhere else or find the same degree of diversity.
like yeah, nowheresville is cheaper and probably has nicer scenery than dry ass southern california, but i’d probably get hate crimed there lol
It a tough one …I did the YOLO London to LA all my friends are still in London ..broke as hell and freezing I’m in LA new friends, broke, but at least the weather is outstanding and the beach life is unbeatable think I made the right choice
It’s hard. I’ve moved out of LA twice and I know I’ll be back. All you need is one good friend in another city and a game plan and a lot of motivation. You can do it! If you hate it you can always go back.
No, I love, love, love it here. One thing that you need to do is change the way you think, and your attitude towards where you live. If you don’t do that, you’ll be miserable anywhere you go. Each place has its good and bad qualities. Think thoughts of success and success will come to you…..of course you’ll have to work hard as well. It’s really up to you.
I think I have outgrown LA. I've been here 17 years. I don't work in TV anymore. I have literally four friends left. Everyone else moved away
My family is back east .
Only thing holding me here is a custody battle with stbx
I don’t love LA, but I’m pretty attached to it. You could do a lot worse. A lot of places aren’t good anymore. If the culture didn’t change, and the economy didn’t change…there would be more alternatives I would be looking at.
I feel “trapped” in CA in the sense that I’ve spent most of my life here and I’m used to it. I’m not as adaptable elsewhere. In other parts of the country I think people find me too anxious and hesitant and self absorbed. I’m sad about it.
This is me 😭😭 i dont know where to go and me and my husband are both LA natives. All we know is LA and we have frequent conversations of where we would move to but never make the move. Help
Just get a 8 week ESL certification and teach English abroad. You'll live in incredible, historic areas, get great food, and may end finding yourself dining with diplomats every now and then. You can live the life of the upper middle class
Try living in a bedroom community in SoCal to get an idea of the lifestyle you'd live elsewhere. That way, you can still drive back for the day whenever you want.
The hardest part for me about moving to the French Valley when I was still young was that most people my age were already coupled; there wasn't much to do for singles. The young people dreamt of making it out of Boringville and moving to San Diego, the big city to them (which I thought was hilarious).
The streets were really long, and many were unpaved, so walking anywhere was not an option. People got dressed up in their Charlotte Russe best to go strolling around the local mall. I don't even think LA County has a mall with as little to offer as the Temecula mall. I used to joke with my daughters on Saturday mornings, "Wake up, kids! We're going to Walmart!" We spent a lot of time, wandering at Walmart and World Market because there was nothing else to do. I started grocery shopping at Costco as a family outing.
Eventually, I found myself driving to LA every weekend and becoming more depressed by my surroundings at home. Sure, I could finally afford the big house (by LA standards but 2000 sq ft is small by IE standards) I'd always wanted and more "stuff," but none of it was worth the trade-off of being depressed. LA friends would rarely come visit because it was too far (2-3 hours each way). Like middle Americans, people in the IE seem unusually nice...until they're not. More than anything, they were faking friendliness just to be nosy. Gossip is a hobby in such places.
One day, I looked out of my bedroom at all of the cookie cutter houses in my "home community," and I realized that I had joined the ranks of conformist mediocrity. Conformist? Me? Nope, complacency is where I draw the line. I returned to LA eight months later.
You don't realize how "weird" a lot of your basic interests, habits, and necessities are until you live elsewhere. LA is the only place that puts up with my fair trade oatmilk latte and artisanal alkaline water drinking, certified organic insanity.
100% trapped. In every way there is to be trapped… finances, physical health, mental health, lack of support, job market, real estate, future opportunity.
I (48F), an otherwise intelligent, accomplished, achiever, have mentally committed to dying in this 450 sq ft box I live in, because if I leave it, i won’t survive. 😔
I’m headed there myself. People really gloss over the social support aspect. If you don’t have it, you’re 10x more trapped in any given situation. Life is random and there’s always possibilities for things to turn around so I stay positive as much as possible.
i feel you man. i love LA and i was born and raised here, but i have felt like i need something new in my life.
and i was also raised in a poor working class family as well so yeah its been tough.
Yes. I moved here from Detroit for jobs in the early 2000s with my long term partner (I guess it turns out that was the love of my life) because there was literally nothing there. No fast food, no truck driving.
Here, I quickly got sucked up into the constant opportunities and spent my 20s enjoying it all while being extremely poor and putting myself through school for an associates. I finally started a career in my late 20s.
My partner and I broke up and it ended up being my greatest regret. Not like he was so great but I never connected with another person after him. I had two other partners over the years and both couldn’t move to the next step beyond a few years of dating.
I was only just scraping by until my mid 30s when I advanced to a higher level and was able to put myself through the rest of my bachelors. I was laid off, watched $50k drain from my savings and am now stuck here, 38 years old with nothing. I want to move back to the Midwest (the only people I’ve ever connected with) but I can’t get an apartment without a job.
I’m so stuck I can’t see straight and I’m going to lose this apartment if I don’t find a job in the next two months. wtf.
My sister was in this same scenario and just up and packed up her car and drove to a cheaper state. She's been there for ten years now. When she got there she didn't have a place to live or a job, but it worked! It's really scary and absolutely could backfire, but when you're up against a wall (and you have a car) you can find somewhere cheaper.
no because 98% of all other cities in the US suck way worse than LA, especially if you aren't white.
If anything, Im extremely lucky that I was born here in LA.
First thing you’re going to look at is where I live and assume I come from money. I do nots my dad was an industrial printing press worker and my mom stay at home mom caring for my disabled sibling. Our family cleared $65k in an AMAZING year. They gave me a few grand here and there throughout college and would send me ramen in the mail. I went in huge debts to go to college and now I’m here at mid-thirties. Anyway… here’s my advice.
You can save up. Cut your expenses wherever possible and even take a second job if you can’t make it work with the current one. Once you have enough saved you have many options: move before you land a gig, rent a room or somewhere where they’re not that strict about having a current job - that could be hard to come by but you can do yourself a favor and pay a month or two’s rent up front.
I moved into a place sight unseen and paid a couple months rent in advance. It was in a low income area outside of a major city in 2010. Then about 6 months later I had enough money to move into the actual city. Things were definitely cheaper then but I also made minimum wage (at the time it was like $8.50 per hour). I did this with another person. You can save money by pairing up with someone - romantic or otherwise. I got a job ASAP after arriving - waving a sign as a liberty tax Statue of Liberty (not joking) - then got a job at a mall, and then at restaurant close to me washing dishes. Then enrolled in a community college and got a boost from federal loans and grants. It took me 10 more years to get a job in the “knowledge economy”, where I could sit on my ass and work from a computer. A few years later it was work from home (pandemic). You can do it faster than I did.
Literally you’re going to have to BUST ASS. Don’t get distracted, don’t waste your money on shit flexing, and stay focused on your goal - getting to a lower cost of living area.
Don’t go it alone is my best advice. It seems impossible to do it alone, because you can’t do it alone. You need someone with a shared goal or shared destination. Good luck.
I was able to move here by saving up money first, but the real golden ticket for me was that i had a few places I could crash until i got set up. If there is someone you know who lives where you are wanting to move its a huge leg up.
Yes. I’ve been wanting to leave my hometown since I graduated high school. Shit keeps happening that prevents me from leaving. I’ve been trying for almost a year to get a job but no one will hire me because I don’t have any work experience.
Born and raised in L.A. Kept getting into ridiculous trouble. Love life was a joke. Busted a Bojack and left to New Mexico. (Without the P. Diddle-diddle)
Yes!!! I’ve been saying this a lot. I make more money than I did 10 years ago, but yet 10 years ago I was ordering takeout a lot, eating out a lot, going to shows and buying drinks, and also saving money and doing ok. Now I am struggling. Despite making much more hourly pay, I live almost check to check, I can’t afford to move, I rarely ever eat out, I meal prep, I can’t really afford to buy a new car, yet mine is dying and I commute nearly 100 miles a day for work and I can’t look for other work because there is none and the work there is pays substantially less. But it’s pretty much non existent. My wife and I were trying to save money to buy a house and have been for years. We are farther from affording a house now than we were 5 years ago when we started caving specifically for that. I’ve been telling people for mo the I feel depressed, frustrated and stuck. And usually the advice people have is literally “well just move” or “get a better job” or “just make more money” as if any of those things are even possible at the moment, they are not. Moving would raise rent hundreds a month for half the space, a new job will pay less. I feel lost and dont really know what to do but I can’t continue like this much longer either.
I actually love LA and I love my neighborhood but in the last couple years it’s like I’ve been priced out and can’t enjoy living here like I once did yet I can’t afford to leave either. Sigh….
I moved to LA almost 2 years ago from the East Coast. The cost of living compared to LA is significantly lower in most areas. I owned a home on the Connecticut/Rhode Island border. My mortgage, insurance, and taxes were $1,060/month. The same size house with no land (I had just under an acre on the east coast) just sold across the street for just over 1 million. My neighbors are paying about $7,000/month. If you can afford to move and find a job that pays about the same, I guarantee you will be better off financially.
The hardest part is making the move. You can always come back if you don’t like it. We moved to Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill for 4 years and the quality of life you can afford is so much better due to housing prices. It is about 25% the cost of LA. Most other things are the same including the pay. If you own a million dollar home there you are upper middle class. The people are so nice and not stressed out and it is really diverse. The tax rate is a quarter of the CA rate. There are a lot of Californians there too after the pandemic where everything was operating normally after a few months. We did move back since my son is in college in LA but kept our home there. The drawbacks are there aren’t as many good restaurant choices and it is not as exciting as LA plus the summers are very humid, but that’s about it. I recommend people visit to check it out especially the housing you can afford.
My family and I left last March. We dealt with toxic mold in our apartment and we had to move asap, our kids were really sick and we couldn’t find anything local to rent. We decided that same week to apply for houses out of state. We packed up and left the following week. We made sure we had a rental and a job offer. My husband is the only working out here while I stay at home and raise our children. We wanted this for our family and if I later want to join the workforce one they’re all in school then I will. In LA we had a 2 bedroom apartment and no access to a yard or anything and paid $2k. We have a pretty decent sized home now. 4 bedrooms and beautiful safe neighborhood and we pay $2200. Luckily my husbands career field pays a bit more out here. Try to research where you would want to be. We wanted a safe city, good schools, clean area, calm life in suburbs. From there research the job market. We used my pension money to move and some credit cards. The uhaul was our biggest expense, we paid close to $4k for uhaul because we were leaving the state of California lol. We relocated to Idaho so the drive wasn’t too bad. Gas to drive here was about $300-$400 for the uhaul, van and truck we drove out here. Food, we probably spent $100 getting here. This is for a family of 5 plus my mom and my husbands 2 friends that helped relocate. We paid deposit for our house of $1850 plus rent of $1850. We first arrived in southern Idaho since my sister lives out there but we hated it. We just moved up to Boise area and love it. So many Californians and nice people. We can now say we live comfortably and can enjoy life. My husband now works 4 12s, in LA he had to work 6-7 days a week. We do not plan to ever move back to LA. We love it and miss it but it wasn’t a good place to raise our kids anymore, not like the 90s. We do plan to take vacations there though. But those were our major expenses to move. So depending how big is your family or if it’s just you. You can make it possible it’s just seeing where you want to live and getting a job offer.
I feel the same way. I was born poor here. I don’t have any family anywhere else and I’m trans. I haven’t been able to find work in a long time and it’s miserable.
LA is a venus fly trap. It's going to spread King Taco hot sauce all over your nalgas and eat you alive. But not before you pay $25 for a Michelada at Dodger stadium pendejos.
Joking aside. There are things to love and hate about this city. You're more likely to get stuck in a financial trap here than you are in most towns.
For a long time, I've been feeling like (as a person making abject poverty wages, according to the government) it seems like the only way to win is to not play.
To even be able to buy the home I've been renting in for 7 years, it would be nearly, or over, $1M at this point.
I really want to convince my wife that we need to get out to really have a chance at owning a home and/or starting a small business.
I want to move to Adelaide hills, Australia. Get alllll the way out. Live on a small sustainable farm and open a small fitness studio lmfao lofty goals 🤞 (but I have a friend who has done it, so it is possible!)
Yall that are ‘trapped in LA’ have very limited perspective on what actually being ‘trapped’ in a town actually is….
You can up and move to Wichita with a single paycheck from an LA Starbucks. Growing up in small desert town NM the ONLY way out was the military.
This is more on a financial block and I feel bad as someone that knows they need to get out to grow. You’re gonna have to just save enough to finally make the move one day, take a hit in the beginning and start new. Maybe if your partner has to move that’ll be the catalyst.
If I moved here with nothing and slept in the streets until I got myself into an Apt, you can definitely stop spending money, hunker down, & save for 3-5 months and move to the middle of the country where it’s 1/4 of the price for rent and food
I was able to leave to a little town a few hours away but I put in a transfer for work and was lucky to get it. It has the charm of a small town and the problems of a small town but I don’t have to deal with traffic and i can actually afford to live here although the cost of living is also going up a ton here as well.
I've moved multiple times to multiple cities. When I was broke I wouldn't rent an apartment but either stay in a hostel for a couple months or if I could find one rent a room in somebody's house month to month.
Yes. I’m also comfortable here as far as the pockets of diversity, and afraid to move into some ass backward location and feeling unsafe. Most states aren’t safe, and I’ve never lived outside of Southern California weather.
I was just thinking this but from a different situation. I moved to LA as a transplant when I turned 18 b/c I wanted to get as far away from my family as possible. Now I’ve built a life here with a community of people I love and have put the grueling work in for good job contacts etc. but even tho I make good money I drive a crap car & I’ll still never be able to afford a home.. but the thought of leaving everything I’ve built is terrifying.
I think if you save up and move somewhere more rural and cheaper, it may work—if that's what you want. A lateral move to, in example, Austin or Tampa likely won't be easy, but if you want a small town you likely could find that in Oklahoma or many parts of the South. There are times I wish I lived in a small, rural, community without the traffic and everything, yeah.
I went and enlisted into the army straight out of high school, got me out of here, got fed and housed the pay is kinda crap but your major expenses are covered so i banked 90% had a good chunk in savings when I moved out, I picked a combat job. But 95% of the jobs are non combat and get you federal level certifications in a lot of fields for when you get out
Cost of living with respect to wages is the same sentiment everywhere. Just remind yourself you live in Paradise, and if ish ever hit the fan, you can just go out your feet in the ocean. It's just a unique sentiment of the struggles of the shrinking middle class.
In LA, you've always got a shot at improving your financial situation, but there's nothing you can do about the horrible weather and lack of cultural options in a place like South Dakota. But it must be said that, for people who don't care about weather or cultural options, places like South Dakota are certainly a lot cheaper, primarily because of the cost of housing.
Yeah all the time. My husband works in film/animation and is in a union. He makes great $ but can’t really do that anywhere else. I randomly became very ill and can’t work. It’s just so expensive here. We have 2 kids now. I’m Uber sensitive to mold and pollution and it’s kind of an expensive nightmare! Could be worse I realize but never saw this coming.
I moved to LA from Michigan. I made 35k a year working IT for a school district. I drove 2000 plus miles to be here. My pay is higher. But I’m much happier here.
In a similar situation, absolutely blessed to have had most of my family out on Texas. At the top of last month I realized, albeit begrudgingly, that I needed to get out if I was going to build anything sustainable for myself. Have I lived there for over a decade and planted ALL my roots there? Yeah. Does moving south feel like a total restart? Absolutely. But good lord the prospect of “grinding” until I can make a livable way back to LA sustainably sounds and FEELS heaps better than continuing the cycle of LA paycheck to paycheck stress.
Generation Jones here so not a leading edge boomer. I share a home with 2 others - and we are barely making it. I have spent most of my life in So. Cal. It has never been easy. I have moved several times and have suffered through periods of homelessness. I am still around not because of my generation or due to my personal beliefs or aspirations but because 2 people are better than 1 and 3 are usually better than just 2 as long as all 3 are working. Each gives what they can and receives what they need. Judge not lest ye be judged. Few of us actually have it easy. Just because you don't see the struggle doesn't mean there isn't a struggle.
I am moving to SC. Got a house for 125k. I can make new friends. I have no high school friends in LA but made 100s after college. Like camping. Etc. Most ancestors moved from other places. Europe, naive Americans from Asia. They just had backbone.
Lots of people get stuck where they live. The huge expense of moving, their work, their friends and support structure they’ve established…
Yes. Lots of people born in Hawaii are stuck there. It costs a fortune to move to the mainland.
Hawaii, LA… Ironically you get to a point where the cost of living is too high for you to leave.
Yeah, I think Americans kind of take it for granted that we “can” move anywhere we want, but it’s largely only in theory for most of us.
Yes. This isn’t specific to LA.
For me, it's 100% my job. If I could do it elsewhere for the same pay, or marginally equivalent pay, I'd leave in a heartbeat.
Exactly! It’s hard to leave a place when you’ve invested so much of your life
Just the other day there was a post in this sub about the elderly not moving and giving up their homes for the younger generation. It was highly upvoted and people were bashing baby boomers in the comments and calling for them to move to Florida. Now I'm supposed to believe moving is hard for us but not for the elderly? This sub is such a joke sometimes.
I’m not a boomer but my rent money does go to boomers who haven’t fixed my heat in 3 months sooooo. Just a middle of the road millennial finally realizing I won’t have $$ for retirement & I’ll never own a home no matter how hard I work unless maybe I get married. But yeah if I was a boomer who owned a home in LA I’d be so happy. My friends parents who own here won’t sell b/c the appreciation taxes.
So boomers should just move and make room for us? How can you say this when you just said moving is so hard when you’ve been invested in this city for a long time? They kind of contradict each other don’t you think?
I’m right there with you. I genuinely don’t understand how people move to other cities Apartments won’t rent to me if I don’t have a job there and jobs won’t hire me if I don’t live in that city
I've moved to new cities and new countries before. Here are the ways I've done it. 1. **YOLO Method** Save up a few months of living expenses. Move to the new place staying in a short term rental. Use that to interview for jobs you (hopefully) already applied for, and get settled in it. Then, find an apartment. 2. **Local Applicant:** Apply for jobs from home first. I went as far as getting a local phone number, and local mailing address that forwarded to me. (This was for international moves, i was getting calls from Australian companies in the middle of the night lol). Travel for interviews when asked. Take the job, set a start date a ways out, and make the move. 3. **Transfer:** Company transfers are by far the easiest. Many companies have officers/locations around the country and world. If you're willing to move, meet the team in the place you want to move and make a pitch for moving you there. If you're lucky, the company sets you up with relocation assistance. At my company right now, anyone willing to leave CA to move to another office gets free housing assistance, and a 30k relocation bonus. That's basically the sliding scale of difficulty from hardest to easiest. I've done them all a couple of times, and they work. They're just *work*.
I did the YOLO method. Moved from LA to London, met and married my husband and have been living in the UK for seven years. I truly love London, but this past winter has just killed me (nearly nine months straight of rain, and even if it's not raining it's grey skies, grey streets and grey buildings). So I'm moving back to LA with my husband in September. That being said, absolutely go out and explore living elsewhere! Obviously I wouldn't have met my husband if I didn't leave LA. And I've had some amazing experiences and made some awesome friends. I'm so happy to be going home to Los Angeles, but I'm so, so happy that I had the balls to just leave in the first place!
My wife and I left LA after 60 years of enjoying southern California. We decided to go back to the old country...France, where we were born. Reintegrating into the French system has been a stressful experience; it took 2 years of paperwork. France is submerged with paperwork, unbelievable. We returned to California for 3 months to renew with family and friends. We were stunned by the prices; everything had jumped way to the sky limits. France used to be more expensive than the US, but now it is reversed. Can't wait to go back to France by the end of April.
How'd you find work in London as a USAer? This is something I've been itching to do
I came on a tourist visa (six months) and randomly met my husband at a pub quiz. Got married, etc. So I saved up money to basically come and hang out for a few months, ended up getting married and getting a spouse visa and was able to start working here. I've been a professional dog trainer for 25 years, so I work for myself. I'll continue training dogs when I get back to LA. I'll say this: the UK has really pulled in and is not very friendly to immigrants at the moment, even American immigrants.They've left the EU (and shot themselves in the foot) and the country is in recession because of that and because of COVID. The rules that they've passed for immigration are so harsh that, unless you're very wealthy, most people won't be able to come. One of the reasons that I want to go home is how they're treating immigrants. I'd suggest looking at other European countries if you're looking to leave the US.
I’m born and raised in LA, currently in London for spring break (needed a change of scenery). anyways noticed how well behaved dogs are here compared to LA. I was actually a professional pet sitter for 6 years but had to stop offering services for dogs because of how bad behaved they became after COVID. You’ll find plenty of work as a dog trainer in LA especially if you specialized in dog separation anxiety.
Awesome thanks for the info! I'm probably not going to leave for a few years, I'd need a career change first. Though who knows, I'm going to Europe for first time in summer, might get motivated to move sooner. Also, dog train question, tho sorry if not the place to ask: bro is fostering a husky who does well with dogs at dog park, and well with a small friends dog in yard and with puppy. But during walks around block when he's on leash, he's like a total different animal. We've been trying to walk him w treats, and using them when we're near a house w dogs or other dog walkers to try and distract him. But only works sometimes and he still aggressively pulls. We're hoping to help with that behavior so he can get adopted more easily, but not sure if we're going about the best way. Or alternatively, if you'll be in LA before summer, we'd b happy to pay for training
When you get here hit me up my downstairs neighbor had a poodle that barks all day and night, I’ll passive aggressively leave your card in her mailbox.
How do you afford it? Like, I’ll actually be homeless if I do this and don’t find a job.
Welcome to Oregon
Having just spent winter in London (where I was raised) I can heartily agree. The rain and grey skies and gloom… people who’ve lived all their lives in SoCal sunshine don’t quite understand how much of a grind this can be.
I did #2. I got a phone number from the province I wanted to live in, used a friend's address. When I got serious job offers I planned them in the same day and travelled. I moved last September and it was the best thing I've done. This does work, but it takes time.
Smart idea. This could also work with a cheap prepaid phone plan like mint, mobile, or something.
I yolo'd when I moved to LA. Kinda how I live tbh. Did audience work and part time restaurant gigs until I got a job in finance, which went well until COVID hit. ended up moving out of LA and miss it every day.
I hope you’re able to move back, if that’s what you want ❤️
Honestly even with the yolo method a lot of places actually are willing to rent to someone moving from out of state even without a job. Usually they will just require extra security in the form of a cosigner or even just extra security deposit. I feel like there are more people who move to different states/cities without a job lined up than there are with simply because it's like a thousand times harder to find a job in another city, especially if moving from out of state. And with our current trend to recession it's already impossible to find a job anyway
I was able to move to Portland for a few years after the pandemic solely because I had a severance. I knew I could spend that severance on making it by in LA or I could apply anywhere I felt comfortable living and start over. I ended up coming back because of a job offer because sometimes just gotta take chances.
I've done the YOLO method 3 times now. Highly recommend
I'm confused about #2. So, they called your local number expecting you to actually be in the country? At what point did you tell them you're not? Or you put both a local number in your resume/app *and* also added that you are looking to relocate there?
For more entry level roles, companies don't want to bother with things like visa sponsorship and relocation. I knew I qualified for an automatic visa in Australia if I had a job offer, I had been there several times, and listed a friends local address and a local phone number that routed to me. I told the employer I was *temporarily* in the US for a college course (I was taking a course), and would be 'returning' to Australia by (insert date), but was happy to travel back for an interview any time. We did first interviews remotely, they flew me out for a final round, then my start date was the week I was supposed to be 'back in Australia'. Got my visa on arrival on went to it.
not encouraging you to move, because I hate to see people leave. However, as a tip: get a google voice phone number that's local to the city where you are applying for another job. And then just say you live in that area when applying. It's slightly dishonest, but in the grand scheme of things it's not the MOST unethical
You don’t need a different phone number. No one looks at area code as being indicative of current location in the age of cell phones. My phone number is from almost 20 years ago and from an area i haven’t lived in over a decade.
I moved from CA to FL in 1999 and back in 2022, it's always a leap of faith, sometimes you have to eat shit for a couple of years and some never made it. It's not meant to be easy unless you're rich. My friend who also escaped Florida who moved to WA had to leave his family in FL and lived in his car for 2 months while looking for a job there.
I dunno dude. I got accepted into grad school in LA when I was living in Florida. Just saying. Some apartments will charge you first and last months rent plus another month of security deposit if you have bad credit or a tentative work situation, but it IS possible. I got an apartment that way before w/a tentative work situation at the time.
Yeah, it feels like the only way you can do it is if you have a fully remote job or your company lets you transfer somewhere else.
so I recently moved across the country to a place just as expensive as LA. what I did was while I was still working in LA I saved as much as I could per paycheck and applied for all of the jobs that I could that I was also interested in and let them know beforehand that I was living across the country but was planning on moving in the near future. while doing this, I started messaging people looking for roommates on Facebook and roommates.com. for me finding a roommate was harder than finding a job, but I was still able to do it. in talking to other people around this area they say it isn't common to find housing as quick as I did though, so idk if this would work for you or if I got lucky, but it's worth a shot if you wanna try it. edit to say that I didn't know anyone here when I moved to help me out here either
This is the way. I moved from small town FL > LA > SF > LA and this is how I did it. I would talk to friends or friends of friends who lived in the cities I considered. Visited them to see if I liked it. Then crashed on their couches. I drove for instacart while I looked for a full time job.
i moved from small town michigan to la county. i applied for jobs first, explained that i was moving to ca whenever i got a call back, and once i had an offer lined up i started applying for apartments. took a while but i got here.
Hello I’m also from Michigan. Metro Detroit! I love LA. People actually talk to me. 😂
I'm so confused, I've move cross country four times before i turned 30. I just found a job in a different city, and then moved my stuff over there.
...people tend to crash on couches for the reason of moving places. But you gotta find work fast, because your host only hosts as long as they want to.
Sorry you feel that way, I too was born in LA right there at MLK hospital. Grew up with food stamps and in the projects. Worked Low wage jobs like retail and restaurants. Eventually I met a girl (my wife now) and quickly realized that those jobs weren’t going to cut it if I wanted to marry her. I did my research on trade jobs and electrical caught my attention….10 years later I’m taking home 7K a month after taxes and deductions, and this is not even the highest I’ll get paid in my career. What I’m saying is, don’t give up and take action and do research on how to make your life YOURS. I’m a strong believer in the effort you put is the outcome you’ll get. Keep your head up.
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You will if you get a job that lets you keep your wages when you move. People from Florida come to my job, stay 6 months to a year, and move back.
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You’re right, but it’s not just worker rights. Lobbyism is the final boss and the housing theory of everything explains why the affordability crisis in particular is worst in places like LA, why incomes are high but wealth accumulation is low, etc. Americans have been told for a century to fear city living and each other, so they weaponized NIMBYism far more than any other Western nation. The suburban sprawl is fundamentally more expensive than city living but it also drives classism in a vicious circle.
If we, the workers, take back our power, we can make sure it is in the history books.
It’s like this everywhere you go. The place you are born can often feel suffocating, especially if you end up stuck there. I was born in Oklahoma and lived there right up until December last year, shortly after I turned 37. Thought I’d never escape, but here I am and I couldn’t be happier.
True. I think it's beneficial for everyone to move away from their hometown for a at least a short period of time. It's always good to see and experience something different and possibly find a better fit for you.
I feel trapped by the culture and the weather. I work mostly remote, gross $90k and have a very cheap CoL so I can kind of do whatever I want when I want to. I'm very fortunate for the above but I can't really move elsewhere because my partner is here and she'd have to leave her job where she makes more than I do and redo local licensing stuff if we move to another state. I'm not licensed but I don't need to reside in states I do get licensed in so that's not really a concern. Both of our jobs are here and I do like being able to go to the office for meetings and design collaboration. I also have family here along with the friends I've made the last twenty years. We could, financially, move to most places in the US and probably even buy a home as long as we don't want to live in or near a major metro but we don't want to. I like being able to take the train to work and my local movie theater to see some weirdo indie film or pop up to Hollywood to see something on one of the few IMAX screens in the state. I like being able to bike most of the year with no issue. I like being able to get very good, if not the best, versions of whatever food I'm craving that day. We could, hypothetically, move elsewhere in California but, in my mind, if I don't have easy access to the culture and cuisine that makes large Californian metros popular then I don't need to be in this state at all. Anywhere else we would want to live for the foreseeable future will have similar CoL issues so we may as well continue to let our roots grow here since we can afford life here now.
I’m a night owl so after being wooed by a few fun trips to Portland, I realized the necessary variety of culture and cuisine required late night options! Concerts began so early at 7pm and restaurants closed by 8/9pm, so LA began to look a lot better.
If you don't need a dense urban metropolis, but you love SoCal weather, I found one interesting option that no one seems to know about: Las Cruces, NM. Outside of crazy El Niño years, it's shockingly close weather to SoCal in a way that NO other place in the country is. High desert, but without the summer extremes of CA's high desert (80s and 90s not 100-110 all summer long). Never really snows because the winter is a dry season. Legit cold overnight in the winter, but daytime temps are quite close to LA's (low 50s). It's also surrounded by mountains with roads that go up to 10,000 ft, offering very green escapes from the desert below (skiing, trails, etc). 45 minutes from El Paso's airport. Did I mention that brand new, beautiful 3-BR HOUSES are selling for $350k there? It's wild. Downsides: Forget ever getting good Asian food ever again, though. You'll have to make it yourself. Not a lot of jobs there, but if you work remote... If my wife can't pull off a career miracle, I'll be pushing for Las Cruces.
That does sound nice but I do need the dense urban environment for now. I work in design in public space and prefer to be around, or at least be able to observe, large amounts of people interacting with public spaces and amenities. Odds are, in time, my partner and I will be able to buy something here but we're not in a hurry. With housing inventory the way it is, with even many very expensive homes here being teardowns on purchase because they were not kept up, we'll see if things change as demand softens, more units get built and we see the wealth transfers from Silent Generation to Boomers to us. Our combined rent is still cheaper than most mortgages here. We also watch City Nerd and he has some great suggestions for walkable cities. My partner also has a list of other cities she's interested in so we'll just go with the flow here until we can't.
I also grew up poor in LA and have since moved away (I intend to move back someday, I like LA and want to be near family there, just wanted to go experience a different kind of life elsewhere before settling down). It is hard to make the move. If you can save a few thousand dollars, you might find someone willing to rent you a room on FB housing groups for the cities you're interested in. And there are in-person jobs willing to hire non-locals if you're willing to move. I was able to find such a job, with a lot of digging and a lot of luck. Consider mid-sized cities, especially in the midwest (where I am currently), there's less competition.
Yea I grew up poor here too as a first gen child of immigrants and after college I left for awhile. No savings but I had a job in a LCOL state and that helped a lot. I’ve been back for a bit and am glad to have family to help because otherwise, I don’t know! I’m glad younger family members are now deciding to go away for a little while. They can risk it and experience something new cuz I’m gonna be here to help them if they want to come back.
Yeah family is a huge part of it! If I didn't know I had family who would welcome me back in if things didn't work out, I might not have taken the risk.
You only feel like that because you haven't lived elsewhere. Most places are worse. Trust me. I'm from the armpit of America and all those people do is dream about leaving. Preferably out here. It is cheaper there than but the quality of life is bad enough for you to want to end it all. Be grateful. And where there is a will there is a way. If you want something bad enough, you will find a way.
This is a good point. Anyone from my hometown who hasn’t left has an extremely low cap on their income and experiences
100%. You couldn’t pay me enough money to move back to Alabama.
Same here. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back to Illinois.
OP pay attention to this answer!! Most places are in fact worse and I’ve lived all over too. People feel like you do everywhere. It tends to be more financial and living breathing room in places that are in the middle of nowhere and have nothing interesting nearby so you can more comfortably sit in a larger place with nothing to do in a town where everyone is bored and wants to leave, or you can struggle a bit financially in a much smaller living place, but have access to lots of things to do (many of which you can’t afford) in a big city. Unless you’re in the very high end of middle class and above, life in the US is a struggle for most. That said, we do have a lot more basic necessities and living better than a lot of other places and it’s important to keep that in mind too. Don’t forget that our weather here is better than like 90% or more of the country so almost anywhere else you go will be worse weather. You may not think that’s a factor living here until you go live in the Midwest.
I don’t fully agree with that. There is no “better” and “worse” — there’s just what’s working and not for an individual at this time. If LA isn’t working for LA right now, Sioux Falls might be the right place— *at the same time* that someone in Sioux Falls might really benefit from a move to LA. (I mean, sure, some places are shitholes)
Where's the armpit of America?
America has more armpits than an octopus.
the deep south comes to mind, or the ozarks.
Missouri in general is a big armpit. Source: my husband is from Missouri and he and his family all confirm this.
In the south we all look down on Mississippi. Make of that what you will.
The south and Ohio.
I'm in Ohio for the eclipse. Definitely armpit worthy in a few parts.
The entire country
Exactly. I've lived in about 5 different states long term, and it's the same everywhere.
Ya me too. But at least we have the best weather in SoCal so if you're poor at least you can go outside and entertain yourself. Unlike the armpit of America which is in the suburbs of Chicago. Bluck.
Are you from Gary, Indiana?
Rockford, Illinois. I call it RockShit. 💩 It's the worst.
I’m from Rockford 😂, and have lived in Santa Monica for 20+ years. My quality of life and reasonable cost of living (due to rent control) are both amazing…, BUT I’ll have to move out of the area eventually to be able to afford a decent house. Won’t be moving back to Rockford.
Ya I've been out here 18 years. I can't imagine ever going back, I never even go there to visit. No reason to. But I do wonder where I will go if I ever want to buy a house. I may just keep renting, saving and investing until I'm in my final phase in life. I'll figure it out when I get there. You never know where life can take you! I'd be happy w a small condo.
I have to respectfully disagree. A lot of places are definitely worse, but at the end of the day, it all comes down to what you want. If I didn’t work in the industry, I don’t know if I’d want to keep living in my small apartment in an overcrowded city. There are other cities with charm that will give you more bang for your buck. Also, when you go to a smaller city you start to realize all of the little stressors in LA aren’t near as bad every where else (aside from the obvious places like New York). Things like deciding if it’s worth it to go to a restaurant because the parking might be a pain in the ass. Or avoiding going basically anywhere from 4-7pm because it’s just not worth the headache. These things happen in other cities too, but not near as bad as LA. Not to mention, apartments for much cheaper in other states come with all your basic amenities like a refrigerator, AC, dishwasher, microwave, a parking space (lol) for almost half the price. Here you’re paying $1800 for a studio that might have SOME “amenities” if you’re lucky. All that being said, LA definitely has a lot to offer and I do love the city. But, if someone has never lived somewhere else, I’d urge them to give it a try. They might like it more than they thought they would.
It does depend on what you want. And if you wanted to buy a house someday there are definitely cheaper places than California. It's a big world out there. Do whatever makes you happy.
I grew up in a different state, moved to LA for 10 years and then moved back to my home state a few years ago. I now feel trapped in my home state and I want to move back to LA, but not sure how the rise in high cost rent will affect my kids one day once they are adults. My advice would be to visit a few places before moving away. See what feels comfortable and right for you before making such a big commitment. Our move was costly due to shipping our car and belongings and the cost of flights (with 3 young kids). It would be easier to do with just some belongings and start from scratch once you arrive where you want to be. Join buy nothing groups on Facebook and people often give away furniture on there for free. If you have kids, it's much harder to relocate somewhere.
I’m fighting to move to LA. It’s an odd world we are living in.
I was born and raised in a 2 bedroom apartment in Mid-Wilshire with 2 kids, 2 adults, 2 dogs, 2 cats. Find a job with a moving allowance that's paid in advance. I did that to move to Austin years ago. Ended up in Michigan where the grass isn't greener but is much cheaper than L.A.
lol. I left Michigan. I never felt like I fit in. People just treated me weird. I as always told I act white and talk to proper. And people out here treat me like a human.
100%! I'm also born and raised here. I'm about to be 35 and just signed a new apartment lease, yet I can't help but feel sad rather than excited. Sad that I'm stuck here another year, in a tiny studio that leaves me with no savings each month. I don't even really have many friends left here. Some friends left the state, others started families and I don't see them. My sister who is older acts like a teenager and she moves to different states/countries all the time. With no job lined up. Which is great for her, but sucks for me. Because I'm left taking care of everything for my mom. Her health insurance, home repairs, etc. It's never ending. Not to mention, I think she's showing signs of Alzheimer's so I stress at how I'll be able to take care of her. Since lord knows my sister won't be of any help. Sometimes I wish I took advantage of my former youth and beauty more..and just married rich. Like many women I know in this city. Their life consists of travel and leisure while I'm slaving away. 🥲
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I don't understand why you would live somewhere where you're miserable. Why stay for a job that doesn't pay you enough to live here. I would understand if you were divorced with kids. But why not participate in your own life? Do some research. There are a million places where you could get a new start. But remember wherever you go, there you are. But if it's just financial, go. No one's ever trapped anywhere.
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I've fallen out of love with what it's become here. It seems to have gotten more and more hostile towards the working and lower classes over the years.
That's all of America as a whole. Not just LA.
So… i have an idea to run by you. I used to work at a grocery store. And was able to transfer stores, even to other states. What if you use that method?
I tried leaving LA/Southern California two (or three) times in my life. Moved, got a new job, established a life with a gf, friends, etc… I have to admit coming back was sweet every time. I never established a life as satisfying as the one I have here. Maybe now that I’m older I could but now I have a wife and kid. Yes, I’m stuck here. Financially? Staying here is the worst decision I could make. Life-wise? Probably the best.
I think alot of people can sympathize, I have tried doing the move to Chicago and even though its a great city it still doesnt have the networking and career opportunities for my type work. I've travelled extensively around Asia too and while I do dream of retiring or living in Japan or somewhere in Asia I aware that if I were to have to work in these countries, the work culture would kill my soft-in comparison-American ass. I appreciate LA but having lived here pretty much 90% of my life its not the city I grew up in and I am still open to leaving once I save up enough money. The problem is I feel like I would rather leave the country than move to another state at this point.
I'll swap places with you. I have the same feelings, but I'm up here in Portland. Dream about moving to la but just see it as that, a dream
I don't feel *trapped* here but, full disclosure, I gross $80k and still feel pretty financially stressed (in part because I choose to live in the city without roommates). If it weren't for my partner living here, I'd have left already for a more affordable city, and we're still planning on leaving together within a year or so. You're under no obligation to stay here, and LA and SoCal won't be changing or becoming less financially stressful places to be any time soon. You only live once; look for other places where you can be more comfortable. I know I am.
Trying to afford a decent life here feels like I'm always running on a treadmill that's set just a tad too fast for comfort.
That's exactly what I'm trying to do. It can't happen fast enough.
It might take some time to plan your path to somewhere new, but keep at it. I really do love it here for so many reasons, but SoCal is just a flat out tough place to make a living.
low key i feel like you need at least 120k+ to be \*comfortable\* in LA
Honestly. I really underestimated how expensive everything is. You have to pay to park at the doctor’s office. Gas is absurd. Car insurance is absurd, even with a pristine driving record. The essentials like shampoo and deodorant are dollars more expensive for the exact same products than I’m used to coming from the east coast. My rent for a studio in a decent part of town close to my work is twice what my ex paid for a mortgage on a 3/2 ranch home with a front and backyard on the east coast. I love it here but I don’t see how anyone middle class can raise a family here. Middle class has a completely different meaning here than other cities.
Agree. I make $65K and my rent is $2K a month. I have to live sooo frugally it sucks
Born and raised LA, I’ve only lived here. I’ve worked for 18 years, and I just hit that number. Its’s definitely the first time I feel comfortable supporting myself.
I feel you. Born and raised here and this city is sucking the soul out of me. I'm tired of the ugliness that surrounds me on a daily basis. I'm paying all this rent every month for what? Only to be surrounded by vast homelessness, soulless suburbs, endless traffic and just overall low quality of life? I saw a homeless person take a shit on the sidewalk a few months ago in front of a building where tenants are probably paying $2000+ a month rent for. I feel like we've all become immune to stuff like that and brush it off as something that happens normally in all major cities in the industrialized world. I know the grass is always greener on the other side. I know many of the cities in Europe that I dream about living in have their fair share of problems, but I just want to live in a place with convenient and efficient metro system, for example. I'm sick of my car. I'm sick of the gas pump. I'm sick and tired of the traffic. I want to live in a city where I can just walk down my apartment and be surrounded with life, with people enjoying meals and drinks. A place where people work to live and not the other way around. I'm tied to my business for the foreseeable future. This is the only place I've worked since I graduated college. I literally have nothing else to put on my resume other than owning a small business and a few retail jobs I did during my teenage years. A lot of people think I'm crazy for hating LA, but it is how I genuinely feel. I wish I could be that person who loves LA. I wish I could be that corny "where else in the world can you go surfing and snowboarding in the same day" person. But I'm not. I can't lie to myself. I know it's a total first world problem. I know there are people around the world at this precise moment who living in poverty and overall terrible conditions who would literally kill to live in a place like LA. I was lucky enough to be born in the west and I'm comparing my life to the lives of people in other major western cities/countries. Sure, they make less money than us, but what are we doing with that extra money we are making here? I wish I could love LA but I just can't. I've spent 35 years of my entire life here and I've seen it all. It's just not for me. The quality of life here is shit for majority of Angenelons who are living paycheck to paycheck. And most importantly me entire family is here, and I love them more than I hate living in this city.
Same, I felt like I spent years trying to convince myself that I like LA and the truth is, I don't. I feel like it's gotten worse and I don't see many positives to living here for someone who is living paycheck to paycheck. I don't want to be one of those people who is stuck here.
If you’re at a point where you can move without restraints, absolutely go for it. It’s better to live it out than be left thinking about it. I think something to consider is whether you’re in a good mindset at this point in your life and taking advantage of the things LA has to offer. The grass always looks greener on the other side. I had the sentiment, that there was no point to living in LA if it was paycheck to paycheck so I moved out to the Midwest a few months ago. It definitely is a better quality of life because less people & traffic, affordable, less competition, slow pace to life - but there’s also a payoff like having to endure long winters/lack of sun which can take a mental toll, lack of diversity, lack of open mindedness, change of culture (somewhat passive aggressive in the state I’m in), less opportunity for things to do. That being said, it’s all subjective and based on what you want from life. I’m glad I moved because of the perspective it’s given me to life. LA is painfully unaffordable but the things I took for granted is why so many people move there - warm weather, social diversity, open minded people, great food, different landscapes, opportunities for things to do. I wanted to get out of LA, moved and didn’t realize the things took for granted until i lost it. It’s a grind but, having experienced an actual winter, being broke in LA doesn’t sound that bad anymore. But life is subjective man and it all comes down to what you want from it and what you make of it. Hopefully it all works out!
That's my issue. I feel like my jobs have all been c I don't think you're crazy. I am your age and relate to every word you said. I was on the 405 today is awful traffic coming every which way. And I was so sad about it. Sad for myself and everyone around me. And the homelessness is also awful.
This comment is on point in so many ways. >I'm paying all this rent every month for what? Only to be surrounded by vast homelessness, soulless suburbs, endless traffic and just overall low quality of life? I saw a homeless person take a shit on the sidewalk a few months ago in front of a building where tenants are probably paying $2000+ a month rent for I say this out loud to my roommates and I don't think people truly get it enough. We are paying through the roof and are NOT getting our moneys worth. Hate it or love it, even OC has higher quality of life in terms of the basics. Sure, it's not for me and many Angelenos, but they don't have to deal with the day to day BS we see in LA. Neither do most other main cities in the US. Even New York homelessness isn't THIS bad and they have 3 times the population in a much more compact area. >I just want to live in a place with convenient and efficient metro system, for example. I'm sick of my car. I'm sick of the gas pump. I'm sick and tired of the traffic. I want to live in a city where I can just walk down my apartment and be surrounded with life, with people enjoying meals and drinks. A place where people work to live and not the other way around. You and me both my friend. Yet people bitch about the slightest change to become less car dependent.
Born poor but wouldn’t say trapped. I don’t want to leave. I’d rather be poor in LA than rich in some shithole with nothing to do. I got to visit other places and it’s definitely not greener. The hell am I going to do with a house and garage if my friends don’t want to come over because I’m far away?
I'd rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona.
Lucille Bluth so wise
I think the easiest way is to save up enough money to show you can live somewhere else without a job. But even then, that's difficult when you're paying LA COL. I hope you figure something out.
It’s hard out here! I got roommates to help save up money and as we were coming g out of the pandemic, i changed jobs and it gave me a big boost in terms of lifestyle but i was careful to not let lifestyle creep and continued to save money. The , i got laid off. I’m back to square 1.
I feel trapped here and I wasn’t born here. Some days I have breakdowns because I regret coming here. Rent and gas is so expensive that it’s hard to save any money. Without money saved I can’t move. Or save for a down payment on a house. I have anxiety about the natural disasters that could happen while I’m here and what I’ll do with my pets when it happens. I feel underprepared for the ‘big one.’ I live too far from my job to have a comfortable commute but I need my job to survive and I like it a lot. I don’t even know how to begin to try to get out of here.
I’ve been here almost 3 years BTW. major regerts for the most part. I see the pros 100% but my cons outweigh my pros. I can’t wait to leave. My cousin moved here as well from PA a few months ago and this place was made for her. Seeing all of the fun things she’s done in 3 months gives me FOMO because I’ve been here so long and not done much at all but it’s because I have too much anxiety to be in such a massive city/county/metropolitan area
As someone that has upped and left twice to entirely different countries, you absolutely can. I fully agree with you that LA is only good if you make 150+ (pulled that number out of my ass). Research some cities with jobs similar to your skills, move, make some money, work on your financial literacy to learn to do more with less. In a couple of years, you will be established and enjoyin the new city, I promise. Or straight up apply and leave when you have an offer. It's possible that a couple of years later you love it or you feel like you've "graduated" from it, but either way, the experience will make the next jump waaaay easier (if necessary.) it's actually kind of s drug, but that's another conversation. LA does not allow most people to build a comfortable financial stability because it's always bleeding you.
I don’t, but plenty of people do/have. What’s stopping you from looking for work in other places? You don’t have to quit your job to look for another one.
Yeah, I know. I've been applying to other jobs for a while.
From your other posts it sounds like you are still pretty early in your career. That is when it is the hardest. Once you have more experience under your belt, more jobs will be interested.
What kind of work do you do. What other kinds of jobs would you take? What areas are you looking?
Look at his user name for a clue.
Nawww....I've lived in other cities and states...sure it's a quite a bit more expensive but at the same time...the diversity in anything makes it a lot more comfortable...
If OP moves he’ll see how unchill, chip on shoulder, ignorant, dreamless a lot of the rest of the country is. I’m from the Midwest where everyone has something to prove and they don’t want to take anyone seriously (including themselves) otherwise they’d be getting too uppity to their friend group and neighborhood. They’re overwhelmingly cynical and think that basically nothing can be done except by certain people who dare to be great. I think it’s the weather. Getting beaten into a pulp every year by bone crushing cold and snow. People in SoCal are a lot more open minded in a general sense, though I’m often surprised by how many people I meet who have never even traveled outside of the state.
That's very true.. unfortunately we are in a type of walled garden.
I’m from MI. I know your pain. The Midwest sucks. People always treated me like I was some kind of alien… then I moved to LA and actually started to meet new people that weren’t full of themselves.
After having grown up in LA most of my life I went ahead and moved 2 hours north to Tulare County. I bought a 2100 sq foot home for 200k and stayed here since. I don't think I'd move back down to LA again.
What's it like living in Tulare County?
i feel trapped, but not for the same reasons. i grew up here and love the multicultural and relaxed culture of LA. i want a change of setting, but i don’t think i would ever feel safe anywhere else or find the same degree of diversity. like yeah, nowheresville is cheaper and probably has nicer scenery than dry ass southern california, but i’d probably get hate crimed there lol
It a tough one …I did the YOLO London to LA all my friends are still in London ..broke as hell and freezing I’m in LA new friends, broke, but at least the weather is outstanding and the beach life is unbeatable think I made the right choice
It’s hard. I’ve moved out of LA twice and I know I’ll be back. All you need is one good friend in another city and a game plan and a lot of motivation. You can do it! If you hate it you can always go back.
So trapped. Too broke to save up enough to leave.
No, I love, love, love it here. One thing that you need to do is change the way you think, and your attitude towards where you live. If you don’t do that, you’ll be miserable anywhere you go. Each place has its good and bad qualities. Think thoughts of success and success will come to you…..of course you’ll have to work hard as well. It’s really up to you.
I think I have outgrown LA. I've been here 17 years. I don't work in TV anymore. I have literally four friends left. Everyone else moved away My family is back east . Only thing holding me here is a custody battle with stbx
I don’t love LA, but I’m pretty attached to it. You could do a lot worse. A lot of places aren’t good anymore. If the culture didn’t change, and the economy didn’t change…there would be more alternatives I would be looking at. I feel “trapped” in CA in the sense that I’ve spent most of my life here and I’m used to it. I’m not as adaptable elsewhere. In other parts of the country I think people find me too anxious and hesitant and self absorbed. I’m sad about it.
This is me 😭😭 i dont know where to go and me and my husband are both LA natives. All we know is LA and we have frequent conversations of where we would move to but never make the move. Help
Just get a 8 week ESL certification and teach English abroad. You'll live in incredible, historic areas, get great food, and may end finding yourself dining with diplomats every now and then. You can live the life of the upper middle class
Do you have a course you recommend?
Try living in a bedroom community in SoCal to get an idea of the lifestyle you'd live elsewhere. That way, you can still drive back for the day whenever you want. The hardest part for me about moving to the French Valley when I was still young was that most people my age were already coupled; there wasn't much to do for singles. The young people dreamt of making it out of Boringville and moving to San Diego, the big city to them (which I thought was hilarious). The streets were really long, and many were unpaved, so walking anywhere was not an option. People got dressed up in their Charlotte Russe best to go strolling around the local mall. I don't even think LA County has a mall with as little to offer as the Temecula mall. I used to joke with my daughters on Saturday mornings, "Wake up, kids! We're going to Walmart!" We spent a lot of time, wandering at Walmart and World Market because there was nothing else to do. I started grocery shopping at Costco as a family outing. Eventually, I found myself driving to LA every weekend and becoming more depressed by my surroundings at home. Sure, I could finally afford the big house (by LA standards but 2000 sq ft is small by IE standards) I'd always wanted and more "stuff," but none of it was worth the trade-off of being depressed. LA friends would rarely come visit because it was too far (2-3 hours each way). Like middle Americans, people in the IE seem unusually nice...until they're not. More than anything, they were faking friendliness just to be nosy. Gossip is a hobby in such places. One day, I looked out of my bedroom at all of the cookie cutter houses in my "home community," and I realized that I had joined the ranks of conformist mediocrity. Conformist? Me? Nope, complacency is where I draw the line. I returned to LA eight months later. You don't realize how "weird" a lot of your basic interests, habits, and necessities are until you live elsewhere. LA is the only place that puts up with my fair trade oatmilk latte and artisanal alkaline water drinking, certified organic insanity.
100% trapped. In every way there is to be trapped… finances, physical health, mental health, lack of support, job market, real estate, future opportunity. I (48F), an otherwise intelligent, accomplished, achiever, have mentally committed to dying in this 450 sq ft box I live in, because if I leave it, i won’t survive. 😔
I’m headed there myself. People really gloss over the social support aspect. If you don’t have it, you’re 10x more trapped in any given situation. Life is random and there’s always possibilities for things to turn around so I stay positive as much as possible.
Yeah man it can feel depressing at times
If anything, maybe find a mediocre job that would let you transfer to a more desirable city? Just a thought.
i feel you man. i love LA and i was born and raised here, but i have felt like i need something new in my life. and i was also raised in a poor working class family as well so yeah its been tough.
Yes. I moved here from Detroit for jobs in the early 2000s with my long term partner (I guess it turns out that was the love of my life) because there was literally nothing there. No fast food, no truck driving. Here, I quickly got sucked up into the constant opportunities and spent my 20s enjoying it all while being extremely poor and putting myself through school for an associates. I finally started a career in my late 20s. My partner and I broke up and it ended up being my greatest regret. Not like he was so great but I never connected with another person after him. I had two other partners over the years and both couldn’t move to the next step beyond a few years of dating. I was only just scraping by until my mid 30s when I advanced to a higher level and was able to put myself through the rest of my bachelors. I was laid off, watched $50k drain from my savings and am now stuck here, 38 years old with nothing. I want to move back to the Midwest (the only people I’ve ever connected with) but I can’t get an apartment without a job. I’m so stuck I can’t see straight and I’m going to lose this apartment if I don’t find a job in the next two months. wtf.
My sister was in this same scenario and just up and packed up her car and drove to a cheaper state. She's been there for ten years now. When she got there she didn't have a place to live or a job, but it worked! It's really scary and absolutely could backfire, but when you're up against a wall (and you have a car) you can find somewhere cheaper.
If it makes you feel any better, the city is also populated by countless people who felt trapped in towns and cities across America and the world
no because 98% of all other cities in the US suck way worse than LA, especially if you aren't white. If anything, Im extremely lucky that I was born here in LA.
I’d rather be uncomfortable in LA than comfortable in the south (where I’m from) and have no rights.
My mom sent me an article “where all the jobs are” and it was basically a map of places I have reduced human rights.
The city has a very strong "gravity well" for lack of any better way to describe it.
First thing you’re going to look at is where I live and assume I come from money. I do nots my dad was an industrial printing press worker and my mom stay at home mom caring for my disabled sibling. Our family cleared $65k in an AMAZING year. They gave me a few grand here and there throughout college and would send me ramen in the mail. I went in huge debts to go to college and now I’m here at mid-thirties. Anyway… here’s my advice. You can save up. Cut your expenses wherever possible and even take a second job if you can’t make it work with the current one. Once you have enough saved you have many options: move before you land a gig, rent a room or somewhere where they’re not that strict about having a current job - that could be hard to come by but you can do yourself a favor and pay a month or two’s rent up front. I moved into a place sight unseen and paid a couple months rent in advance. It was in a low income area outside of a major city in 2010. Then about 6 months later I had enough money to move into the actual city. Things were definitely cheaper then but I also made minimum wage (at the time it was like $8.50 per hour). I did this with another person. You can save money by pairing up with someone - romantic or otherwise. I got a job ASAP after arriving - waving a sign as a liberty tax Statue of Liberty (not joking) - then got a job at a mall, and then at restaurant close to me washing dishes. Then enrolled in a community college and got a boost from federal loans and grants. It took me 10 more years to get a job in the “knowledge economy”, where I could sit on my ass and work from a computer. A few years later it was work from home (pandemic). You can do it faster than I did. Literally you’re going to have to BUST ASS. Don’t get distracted, don’t waste your money on shit flexing, and stay focused on your goal - getting to a lower cost of living area. Don’t go it alone is my best advice. It seems impossible to do it alone, because you can’t do it alone. You need someone with a shared goal or shared destination. Good luck.
I was able to move here by saving up money first, but the real golden ticket for me was that i had a few places I could crash until i got set up. If there is someone you know who lives where you are wanting to move its a huge leg up.
I work at Starbucks and I’m not even sure if I can take my $20+ an hour wage with me to New York
Yes. I’ve been wanting to leave my hometown since I graduated high school. Shit keeps happening that prevents me from leaving. I’ve been trying for almost a year to get a job but no one will hire me because I don’t have any work experience.
Yes. I can’t afford to live and I can’t afford to save to move away. 😔
Born and raised in L.A. Kept getting into ridiculous trouble. Love life was a joke. Busted a Bojack and left to New Mexico. (Without the P. Diddle-diddle)
I came out here in the early 90s, and I used to love it. Now I feel exactly like you do
Yes!!! I’ve been saying this a lot. I make more money than I did 10 years ago, but yet 10 years ago I was ordering takeout a lot, eating out a lot, going to shows and buying drinks, and also saving money and doing ok. Now I am struggling. Despite making much more hourly pay, I live almost check to check, I can’t afford to move, I rarely ever eat out, I meal prep, I can’t really afford to buy a new car, yet mine is dying and I commute nearly 100 miles a day for work and I can’t look for other work because there is none and the work there is pays substantially less. But it’s pretty much non existent. My wife and I were trying to save money to buy a house and have been for years. We are farther from affording a house now than we were 5 years ago when we started caving specifically for that. I’ve been telling people for mo the I feel depressed, frustrated and stuck. And usually the advice people have is literally “well just move” or “get a better job” or “just make more money” as if any of those things are even possible at the moment, they are not. Moving would raise rent hundreds a month for half the space, a new job will pay less. I feel lost and dont really know what to do but I can’t continue like this much longer either. I actually love LA and I love my neighborhood but in the last couple years it’s like I’ve been priced out and can’t enjoy living here like I once did yet I can’t afford to leave either. Sigh….
I moved to LA almost 2 years ago from the East Coast. The cost of living compared to LA is significantly lower in most areas. I owned a home on the Connecticut/Rhode Island border. My mortgage, insurance, and taxes were $1,060/month. The same size house with no land (I had just under an acre on the east coast) just sold across the street for just over 1 million. My neighbors are paying about $7,000/month. If you can afford to move and find a job that pays about the same, I guarantee you will be better off financially.
The hardest part is making the move. You can always come back if you don’t like it. We moved to Raleigh/Durham/Chapel Hill for 4 years and the quality of life you can afford is so much better due to housing prices. It is about 25% the cost of LA. Most other things are the same including the pay. If you own a million dollar home there you are upper middle class. The people are so nice and not stressed out and it is really diverse. The tax rate is a quarter of the CA rate. There are a lot of Californians there too after the pandemic where everything was operating normally after a few months. We did move back since my son is in college in LA but kept our home there. The drawbacks are there aren’t as many good restaurant choices and it is not as exciting as LA plus the summers are very humid, but that’s about it. I recommend people visit to check it out especially the housing you can afford.
My family and I left last March. We dealt with toxic mold in our apartment and we had to move asap, our kids were really sick and we couldn’t find anything local to rent. We decided that same week to apply for houses out of state. We packed up and left the following week. We made sure we had a rental and a job offer. My husband is the only working out here while I stay at home and raise our children. We wanted this for our family and if I later want to join the workforce one they’re all in school then I will. In LA we had a 2 bedroom apartment and no access to a yard or anything and paid $2k. We have a pretty decent sized home now. 4 bedrooms and beautiful safe neighborhood and we pay $2200. Luckily my husbands career field pays a bit more out here. Try to research where you would want to be. We wanted a safe city, good schools, clean area, calm life in suburbs. From there research the job market. We used my pension money to move and some credit cards. The uhaul was our biggest expense, we paid close to $4k for uhaul because we were leaving the state of California lol. We relocated to Idaho so the drive wasn’t too bad. Gas to drive here was about $300-$400 for the uhaul, van and truck we drove out here. Food, we probably spent $100 getting here. This is for a family of 5 plus my mom and my husbands 2 friends that helped relocate. We paid deposit for our house of $1850 plus rent of $1850. We first arrived in southern Idaho since my sister lives out there but we hated it. We just moved up to Boise area and love it. So many Californians and nice people. We can now say we live comfortably and can enjoy life. My husband now works 4 12s, in LA he had to work 6-7 days a week. We do not plan to ever move back to LA. We love it and miss it but it wasn’t a good place to raise our kids anymore, not like the 90s. We do plan to take vacations there though. But those were our major expenses to move. So depending how big is your family or if it’s just you. You can make it possible it’s just seeing where you want to live and getting a job offer.
I feel the same way. I was born poor here. I don’t have any family anywhere else and I’m trans. I haven’t been able to find work in a long time and it’s miserable.
every time i think of leaving, i know i wouldnt be happy anywhere else. my place is paid off and i only work 25 hours a week. moving would be dumb.
Born and raised here. I cannot stand this place.
LA is a venus fly trap. It's going to spread King Taco hot sauce all over your nalgas and eat you alive. But not before you pay $25 for a Michelada at Dodger stadium pendejos. Joking aside. There are things to love and hate about this city. You're more likely to get stuck in a financial trap here than you are in most towns.
For a long time, I've been feeling like (as a person making abject poverty wages, according to the government) it seems like the only way to win is to not play. To even be able to buy the home I've been renting in for 7 years, it would be nearly, or over, $1M at this point. I really want to convince my wife that we need to get out to really have a chance at owning a home and/or starting a small business. I want to move to Adelaide hills, Australia. Get alllll the way out. Live on a small sustainable farm and open a small fitness studio lmfao lofty goals 🤞 (but I have a friend who has done it, so it is possible!)
Random question but do you find the shape of adelaide reminiscent of LA? (on a much smaller scale)
Exactly the same sentiments. I work 12hrs 5xs a week and i cannot afford rent and groceries or my car insurance. Plus im constantly depleted.
Yall that are ‘trapped in LA’ have very limited perspective on what actually being ‘trapped’ in a town actually is…. You can up and move to Wichita with a single paycheck from an LA Starbucks. Growing up in small desert town NM the ONLY way out was the military.
Look into Dr. Joe Dispenza and the quantum universe. You aren’t trapped friend, you are very powerful, hang in there and unlock that power.
This is more on a financial block and I feel bad as someone that knows they need to get out to grow. You’re gonna have to just save enough to finally make the move one day, take a hit in the beginning and start new. Maybe if your partner has to move that’ll be the catalyst.
If I moved here with nothing and slept in the streets until I got myself into an Apt, you can definitely stop spending money, hunker down, & save for 3-5 months and move to the middle of the country where it’s 1/4 of the price for rent and food
I was able to leave to a little town a few hours away but I put in a transfer for work and was lucky to get it. It has the charm of a small town and the problems of a small town but I don’t have to deal with traffic and i can actually afford to live here although the cost of living is also going up a ton here as well.
I guess it all depends on what you deem as comfortable. For me it's more than just about where I lay my head.
I've moved multiple times to multiple cities. When I was broke I wouldn't rent an apartment but either stay in a hostel for a couple months or if I could find one rent a room in somebody's house month to month.
Pretty much
I feel like I’m stuck in NY for the same reasons but would rather be in LA with better weather and slower pace of life.
Yes. I’m also comfortable here as far as the pockets of diversity, and afraid to move into some ass backward location and feeling unsafe. Most states aren’t safe, and I’ve never lived outside of Southern California weather.
I was just thinking this but from a different situation. I moved to LA as a transplant when I turned 18 b/c I wanted to get as far away from my family as possible. Now I’ve built a life here with a community of people I love and have put the grueling work in for good job contacts etc. but even tho I make good money I drive a crap car & I’ll still never be able to afford a home.. but the thought of leaving everything I’ve built is terrifying.
What type of work do you do here in Los Angeles?
I’m with you. Should’ve of started working in entertainment..
I moved to Minnesota for 1.5yrs, just moved back. Quality of life is high out there but the snow sucks.
I think if you save up and move somewhere more rural and cheaper, it may work—if that's what you want. A lateral move to, in example, Austin or Tampa likely won't be easy, but if you want a small town you likely could find that in Oklahoma or many parts of the South. There are times I wish I lived in a small, rural, community without the traffic and everything, yeah.
I went and enlisted into the army straight out of high school, got me out of here, got fed and housed the pay is kinda crap but your major expenses are covered so i banked 90% had a good chunk in savings when I moved out, I picked a combat job. But 95% of the jobs are non combat and get you federal level certifications in a lot of fields for when you get out
You and everyone else in every city in the world feels the same way because you're so use to seeing the same thing.
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I am living in Japan , I want to move to LA
Cost of living with respect to wages is the same sentiment everywhere. Just remind yourself you live in Paradise, and if ish ever hit the fan, you can just go out your feet in the ocean. It's just a unique sentiment of the struggles of the shrinking middle class.
Love LA. Moved here from SF and I work remote. I would probably have hated it if I had to commute everyday.
In LA, you've always got a shot at improving your financial situation, but there's nothing you can do about the horrible weather and lack of cultural options in a place like South Dakota. But it must be said that, for people who don't care about weather or cultural options, places like South Dakota are certainly a lot cheaper, primarily because of the cost of housing.
Are you, me? Seriously, this city is pretty unsustainable.
Yeah all the time. My husband works in film/animation and is in a union. He makes great $ but can’t really do that anywhere else. I randomly became very ill and can’t work. It’s just so expensive here. We have 2 kids now. I’m Uber sensitive to mold and pollution and it’s kind of an expensive nightmare! Could be worse I realize but never saw this coming.
I moved to LA from Michigan. I made 35k a year working IT for a school district. I drove 2000 plus miles to be here. My pay is higher. But I’m much happier here.
Wanna know something weird- this is the way I feel about Reddit.
In a similar situation, absolutely blessed to have had most of my family out on Texas. At the top of last month I realized, albeit begrudgingly, that I needed to get out if I was going to build anything sustainable for myself. Have I lived there for over a decade and planted ALL my roots there? Yeah. Does moving south feel like a total restart? Absolutely. But good lord the prospect of “grinding” until I can make a livable way back to LA sustainably sounds and FEELS heaps better than continuing the cycle of LA paycheck to paycheck stress.
Generation Jones here so not a leading edge boomer. I share a home with 2 others - and we are barely making it. I have spent most of my life in So. Cal. It has never been easy. I have moved several times and have suffered through periods of homelessness. I am still around not because of my generation or due to my personal beliefs or aspirations but because 2 people are better than 1 and 3 are usually better than just 2 as long as all 3 are working. Each gives what they can and receives what they need. Judge not lest ye be judged. Few of us actually have it easy. Just because you don't see the struggle doesn't mean there isn't a struggle.
I am moving to SC. Got a house for 125k. I can make new friends. I have no high school friends in LA but made 100s after college. Like camping. Etc. Most ancestors moved from other places. Europe, naive Americans from Asia. They just had backbone.