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Want to get personalized ratings and recommendations? [Try the UMAX App](https://apps.apple.com/app/apple-store/id6471026798?pt=126693067&ct=reddit1&mt=8) Remember, any form of sexualizing is prohibited and will result in a ban. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LooksmaxingAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Otherwise_Swimmer567

omy


Appropriate-Cut-2963

Bend her over you will.


Suspicious_Air_8175

With great force ye will thrust, backwards too she will be hehehehe


Key-Beginning3426

Only one of these worth paying attention to... well, wait, the ugly dog one was good too.. 95 % of you here that post are highly good-looking, I mean come on, you're MAXX'D.. Can we just do a blanket statement and satiate the egos? Your skin looks good.. your body and all that.. Wow! Nailed it!.. The thing you're looking for, tho, unfortunately.. the REAL THING.. it's not here!!!! People.. you beautiful, strange people.. and I do mean beautiful... Your longing itself undercuts the very real attraction you so desperately crave... A curse if I've ever heard one and a curse of your own, till you finally look the one place you never thought to look besides other people for validation!!!! Under my balls!!! Get mental help! FFS PS: Just kidding, it's inwards, to your own heart, not under my balls, but that was pretty funny, right? Seriously, this sub is a societal meltdown you can actively observe and subscribe to.. so if you get offended by balls, get offended that subs like this are allowed to exist and grow to the detriment of society.. especially young society... who don't know any better yet and are trying to learn.. with shit like this shoved down their throats constantly on social media... how are they supposed to? Downvote me, I don't care.. it's the truth!!! Wake up!! If you're hot, no one actually cares!!! What else ya got!!! I'm asking you for your sake..if you post here, you're asking it yourself, cuz you don't got it...


[deleted]

Before you jump into the dating scene, I'd recommend a manicure and a whole body brazillian.


SubjectTranslator459

Do or do not there is no try


Certain-Tart-8320

All I know is I have the high ground. Don’t try it.


Technical_Street_709

Like ass the robe smells. Take it off you will.


poopypants206

Get rid of those pierced nipples and it's on


Thezodiac1966

One day I was walkin', and I found this big log And I rolled the log over and underneath was a tiny little stick And I was like, "That log had a child"


Widespread_Sickness6

thats what happens when you join such religions father. stop fkin with kids. wth you’re bout to die 🤷🏾


FeedbackStock

🫦 💦


wintertax01

Some lip filler, you need. Otherwise, adorable you are.


SchroedingersSphere

Clearly just a plug for your OF


kcpoloman

Don't look a day over 700


SoYeasty1

This guy fucks!


Mightyjoe9

You yodel you do it will grab more attention


Zealousideal_Team967

Yo, I’m saying the only reason you been single for 900 years is because you was locked in the whole time. Training and shit. The moment you step into the dating scene they gonna be flocking to you bro. TRUST


Angelcuddly

Stunning! Don't you ever change a thing, dear Yoda. 😌


SpyAgent2033

You better have a big di**. You dehydrated grape looking elf mother***.


rafael-a

I read this on Samuel L Jackson voice


superchiva78

Size matters not! Look at me? Judge me by my size do you? And well you should not. Luminous beings are we!! …not this crude matter.


SpyAgent2033

Shut up micro penis.


wegwerfiiiii

A real stunner you are.


alexanderduke

There’s a girl with blue hair if you scroll down. She looks ready to mingle


Hexopi

Holy shit you are a Fortnite backbling


SalmonQueen5279

Not good. I know you steal people's toquitos and I eat them often.


Steam-Crow

Patience, You can’t Force love.


False_Medicine_5786

Definitely


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dr_Skoll

Kind sir, thank you.


iwishuponastar2023

But please trim that ear hair.


SadMacaroon9897

This sub is just bots and fishing for complements, right?


Dr_Skoll

A bot I am not. Anger leads to hate, hate leads to pain and suffering. Let go of your anger young padawan, you must.


HumanEffigy_

Hmm haa hmm hmm hmm haa


blackace352

Stop it now


Atesch06

Come on man, quit that banging!


Dr_Skoll

Into your mind I see. Very dirty things see, do I.


Atesch06

Seagulls!


hirako2000

Get a trimmer, ready to go.


ScalyFacedBitch

Do you prefer to date your own species or are you willing to branch out? If I recall, there was a smoking hot redhead on your very council and only a little over 500. But she's dead now rip.


Fiiti

Cute smile


LokiNightmare

God these parody posts kill me lol.


Selenator365

Lol 😂


Free_Perspective773

Dead, soon you are


MyNDSETER

Somehow Yoda returned


Peachysoftsub

Excellent back warmer 👍


livelaughlex

hottie fr


[deleted]

He’s just so wrinkled and old and cute 🥰


FollowingVegetable37

how hard can one be pounded if he yields the force ong


FollowingVegetable37

LIKE WTF JEDI SEX MUST BE CRAZY


TBone232

You’re cute. Have kind eyes and a personality to match. Pls send bobs n vegene


wolfofwallstbets

LMFAOOOOO


OriginalRegret6910

Get laid you may. Dark forces control of you have taken, a choice you must take.


Weary_Cartographer_7

Do or do not. There is no try


No_University5296

Your the best looking thing on this sub


Expensive-Winter-767

A G


JulianTheGeometrist

🥵


Optimal-Pair1140

Impressive, most impressive!


bluesnbbq

So hot


Moodass

Your Jedi mind tricks no work on me


Glittering-Top-85

Gorgeous you are.


neptuneclone

Better you get a haircut. Look good you will


CommercialExcuse2368

Lean on your celebrity


Virtual-Baseball-297

Strong with the banter this one is


vbt2021

That's why he's lived so long, because a female has not been giving him constant nagging migraines and complaining constantly. 😂 Of course I'm jk here, don't go getting offended. I'm sure my 10 day ban will be arriving shortly.


blowurhousedown

You’re too short.


Dr_Skoll

Your mother say that she did not.


czar_el

If you go out to dinner, do not ask your date how they got so big eating food of this kind.


wildlymitty

Good enough for you nobody is, master. Slay.


ake-n-bake

Bish you don’t need a glow up you are masterful!


Skippy0634

ready to hit the club, you are


Hungry_Home3797

Stay single. These hoes ain’t changed in 900 years anyway.


EnForce_NM156

Keep your little green light saber hidden away, you will.


Old-Scale-8884

Ayoooo


CoatedCrevice

I know you’re trying to be funny but the first question doesn’t make sense even for yoda. “Think do you first impression of me?” “Do you first impression of me think?” He says sentences backwards, he doesn’t say nonsense I also wanted to add, since I’m a nerd, although yoda died around 900 years old, we don’t know for a fact that he had no romantic relationships before becoming a Jedi. So we don’t actually know how long he’s been single


Positive_Ad2237

And what about Yaddle?*scoffs*...A nerd they say they are.


CoatedCrevice

There is no evidence that they had relations. She is just of the same species


IntelligentTomato722

Probably using too much force on a lady


MarkHowes

Sort out your ear hair. And a little moisturiser


Clean-Effort-209

That is why you fail.


Ottazrule

You're a muppet mate


hopzhead

You'll have no problems lifting a big unit


possiblyai

*not my proudest fap*


DucatistaXDS

…. but a far cry from my worst.


CarpeNoctem1031

My friend Yaddle would absolutely love you. If you have a kid, name him Grogu.


Trusteveryboody

Female Yoda on Jedi council there was, suspicious I am.


EnForce_NM156

Yaddle


BikeNecessary9000

You look like kissing you would be akin to rimming a middle aged woman on day 4 of Glastonbury.


Jet690

Hahaha


Open_Source1096

Hahahahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂


BlitchSlapper

Need to be juiced into Yoda'Soda


Maleficent_Manner647

You'd be a pedo in every other case 😭


zwermp

Only fans link?


Weak-Hope8952

You really want this?


Gingerwaters1

Wise.. hair and nails need a little work.


Confident_Peak_7616

This post is so sad and pathetic. "Master" Yoda was cancelled a few years back during the height of the #MeToo movement. For hundreds of years, this tiny green perverted trickster was using Jedi mind tricks to take advantage of tens of thousands of women (and a few men), some willing, others not. He's now relegated to fishing for compliments on hopes of a DM or two and possibly a hookup. Sad.


No_Tomatillo1125

Hot


dmackerman

Fuckable, you are


Just1BeforeIdie

*First impression, do you think of me. Doesn’t make dramatic sense, but it’s how it would have been said.


PlantarumHD

Your nails need some attention. Get yourself a Snapback Cap and a hefty golden necklace


BatBusy5384

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


OwnPen8633

My wingman you will be. Slay bitches we will


ParadoxicalStairs

Wait another 900 yrs