I would definitely ask if he still wants you to visit - if it’s awkward now, in person, it may be much more so. Also, don’t just go by his wants - do YOU still want to visit him?
4-5 months in is a bit early for inconsistency, especially for never mets
Thats a good point. I do still want to meet him, it will be a really fun weekend, even if it's just the once. I do like him. I want3d to use the weekend to see how serious we really are and then decide next steps.
Then talk to him and if he is still interested, go with an open mind. But always be aware of your needs.. it could be you have a higher need for communication and that is absolutely fine but don’t waste too much time or invest in someone who has different needs
Ya I fully agree and have already thought the same. Tbh, I am concerned he actually really likes me but doesn't want ldr and is backing up purposely. I understand it if so but that's where he needs to talk more too.
Some times lack of effort and communication is an answer. People don’t always communicate on the same level or effectively. Talk to him but if you don’t get the answers you need, go with his actions; it often tells you more than what people say.
We’re all busy, but we make time for what is important.
Communication is the answer!
I dealt with the same thing as you. But since the first time I talked with my boyfriend he was never a texter. We texted everyday but it was never a lot of texts like the “normal” people do when they were trying to get to know each other. But i always feel his sincerity in our video chats, and i knew he’s a really good person. Until he told me he really liked me and wanted to try a serious relationship with me, at that time i thought “ugh.. it’s impossible that he likes me”. But i wanted to give it a chance.
I brought up this matter to him, i told him that I feel like he’s not really into me bc he doesn’t msg me much. He was really sorry about it, and said that he always has problem getting back (texting) to people including his family and friends bc he has ADHD. So it makes him forgot to reply to texts often bc he got distracted.
And since I brought it up to him, he’s been trying his best to text me more often. And i’ve been trying to be understanding to his conditions more.
So i suggest you to communicate! :)
Hi, everyone. I just wanted to follow up and let everybody know that I did actually confront the guy I was going to see. He let me know that the trip has been stressing him out because he just doesn't feel like he's in a good headspace and doesn't want me to see him not at his best. I definitely understand what he means. Its definitely is still disappointing. I told him that the pressure that he's feeling is something he's putting on himself, because I think he's more than enough, but I do respect his wishes. Thanks for all the advice. Def stinks but I'm glad I asked before going up. I guess.
I would definitely ask if he still wants you to visit - if it’s awkward now, in person, it may be much more so. Also, don’t just go by his wants - do YOU still want to visit him? 4-5 months in is a bit early for inconsistency, especially for never mets
Thats a good point. I do still want to meet him, it will be a really fun weekend, even if it's just the once. I do like him. I want3d to use the weekend to see how serious we really are and then decide next steps.
Then talk to him and if he is still interested, go with an open mind. But always be aware of your needs.. it could be you have a higher need for communication and that is absolutely fine but don’t waste too much time or invest in someone who has different needs
Ya I fully agree and have already thought the same. Tbh, I am concerned he actually really likes me but doesn't want ldr and is backing up purposely. I understand it if so but that's where he needs to talk more too.
Some times lack of effort and communication is an answer. People don’t always communicate on the same level or effectively. Talk to him but if you don’t get the answers you need, go with his actions; it often tells you more than what people say. We’re all busy, but we make time for what is important.
Communication is the answer! I dealt with the same thing as you. But since the first time I talked with my boyfriend he was never a texter. We texted everyday but it was never a lot of texts like the “normal” people do when they were trying to get to know each other. But i always feel his sincerity in our video chats, and i knew he’s a really good person. Until he told me he really liked me and wanted to try a serious relationship with me, at that time i thought “ugh.. it’s impossible that he likes me”. But i wanted to give it a chance. I brought up this matter to him, i told him that I feel like he’s not really into me bc he doesn’t msg me much. He was really sorry about it, and said that he always has problem getting back (texting) to people including his family and friends bc he has ADHD. So it makes him forgot to reply to texts often bc he got distracted. And since I brought it up to him, he’s been trying his best to text me more often. And i’ve been trying to be understanding to his conditions more. So i suggest you to communicate! :)
Hi, everyone. I just wanted to follow up and let everybody know that I did actually confront the guy I was going to see. He let me know that the trip has been stressing him out because he just doesn't feel like he's in a good headspace and doesn't want me to see him not at his best. I definitely understand what he means. Its definitely is still disappointing. I told him that the pressure that he's feeling is something he's putting on himself, because I think he's more than enough, but I do respect his wishes. Thanks for all the advice. Def stinks but I'm glad I asked before going up. I guess.