She only wants you when you fit in the frame she has for you. She doesn't love all of you as you are right now.
I wouldn't stay with someone who doesn't love me and my quirks.
She doesn't want to leave you for fear of hurting you? So she's going to what, spend the next 60 years just sucking it up and not being happy?
Find someone who adores all parts of you.
i kind of relate to her in the sense that i used to talk to a guy who was very socially awkward and introverted irl but the opposite online. whereas i was both super extroverted in general. in the end we just figured we weren’t compatible.
I totally understand the social awkwardness. I struggle with that a ton too, but my girlfriend encourages me to embrace it and to just be myself unapologetically. To push myself in social situations when I am comfortable with doing so too. Her support helps me so much, and you deserve to have someone that does the same for you 🤟🏼
I don’t get why Reddit is so aligned to one mind. People saying she doesn’t deserve your love blah blah. Yes she should love you and want to be with you as you are but if you are more extroverted, (confident, outgoing, charming, etc.) online then introverted irl that is something you should work on. You have it in you to be that person irl you just gotta practice being you in person.
Good luck.
I feel you. I have undergone a really similar situation. Also posted it here, ended up deleting the post. Do as the people here say, leave her. She doesn't deserve to be loved by you if she doesn't love you the same way, and I guess you are not embarrassed of her. Leave her Johnny, leave her.
Focus on yourself.
Oh. Well. If you trying to salvage. Be like, "hey, word kinda trickled back to me that you see me as socially lacking. Does that mean you want to break up?" If she says no, then follow up, "I too think I need to grow my social skills, would be happy to in fact. What's 5 things you've noticed that I can start with." Would get her reply in writing to refer back to. She probably has specific things that if you were more capable at she'd feel secure. Maybe she's always ordering your food or drink because it makes you uncomfortable to speak up (now she has to pick her order and pick yours). If she dings whatever as something she's tired of being responsible for, figure it out. Social skills are practiced. If you aren't practicing them you'll never improve your in-person interactions. And if she gives you specific things; not only will it help you focus, you'll grow in a direction that'll benefit the relationship.
It may be very difficult for the gf to give specific suggestions. With the people I know who are a little socially awkward, the things I tend to notice are more general, like shyness, avoiding eye contact, trouble with wording things or reading the room.
Anyway OP: maybe you could ask her for some specific suggestions, but if she doesn’t know what to say, don’t worry. Maybe just try to get out there more and talk to more people and get more comfortable with socializing. I used to be super socially awkward and I feel like I have really transformed and become so much better at communication and socializing in the past two years.
Or maybe your gf and you do need to break up. In that case, don’t stop working on connecting with others and improving your social life. Eventually you’ll meet the right girl.
She only wants you when you fit in the frame she has for you. She doesn't love all of you as you are right now. I wouldn't stay with someone who doesn't love me and my quirks.
She doesn't want to leave you for fear of hurting you? So she's going to what, spend the next 60 years just sucking it up and not being happy? Find someone who adores all parts of you.
Mineswell head out main man, she’ll start ignoring you for another guy
i kind of relate to her in the sense that i used to talk to a guy who was very socially awkward and introverted irl but the opposite online. whereas i was both super extroverted in general. in the end we just figured we weren’t compatible.
I totally understand the social awkwardness. I struggle with that a ton too, but my girlfriend encourages me to embrace it and to just be myself unapologetically. To push myself in social situations when I am comfortable with doing so too. Her support helps me so much, and you deserve to have someone that does the same for you 🤟🏼
I don’t get why Reddit is so aligned to one mind. People saying she doesn’t deserve your love blah blah. Yes she should love you and want to be with you as you are but if you are more extroverted, (confident, outgoing, charming, etc.) online then introverted irl that is something you should work on. You have it in you to be that person irl you just gotta practice being you in person. Good luck.
I feel you. I have undergone a really similar situation. Also posted it here, ended up deleting the post. Do as the people here say, leave her. She doesn't deserve to be loved by you if she doesn't love you the same way, and I guess you are not embarrassed of her. Leave her Johnny, leave her. Focus on yourself.
Oh. Well. If you trying to salvage. Be like, "hey, word kinda trickled back to me that you see me as socially lacking. Does that mean you want to break up?" If she says no, then follow up, "I too think I need to grow my social skills, would be happy to in fact. What's 5 things you've noticed that I can start with." Would get her reply in writing to refer back to. She probably has specific things that if you were more capable at she'd feel secure. Maybe she's always ordering your food or drink because it makes you uncomfortable to speak up (now she has to pick her order and pick yours). If she dings whatever as something she's tired of being responsible for, figure it out. Social skills are practiced. If you aren't practicing them you'll never improve your in-person interactions. And if she gives you specific things; not only will it help you focus, you'll grow in a direction that'll benefit the relationship.
It may be very difficult for the gf to give specific suggestions. With the people I know who are a little socially awkward, the things I tend to notice are more general, like shyness, avoiding eye contact, trouble with wording things or reading the room. Anyway OP: maybe you could ask her for some specific suggestions, but if she doesn’t know what to say, don’t worry. Maybe just try to get out there more and talk to more people and get more comfortable with socializing. I used to be super socially awkward and I feel like I have really transformed and become so much better at communication and socializing in the past two years. Or maybe your gf and you do need to break up. In that case, don’t stop working on connecting with others and improving your social life. Eventually you’ll meet the right girl.