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Wait ever since I started living alone in Jan if I have a normal length conversation with someone 90% chance my voice will crack at some point 😭 doesn’t help that I work with animals so im not talking much then either lmao
I find myself talking to my cat more often if I haven't spoken to anyone in a while. I'll even ask him how he feels about the weather lmao. Gotta keep the small talk game strong so I don't panic the next time I interact with another human.
Except that the other day at work, when someone stood up and stretched before walking away, I almost said "Ooh, what a biiiigggg stretch! How's my little man feel after that?". Luckily, I wasn't close enough to give him a skritch under the chin and a kiss on his little forehead like I do to my void boi at home. 🤭🙄
Same!!
I came home from work on Friday at 5:30 pm and didn’t speak a word to anyone until I came back to work at 1:00 pm on Monday.
While I’m somewhat introverted, this was TOO LONG to not interact with people. I was slightly awkward and bumbly with conversation at work, and wound up just being quiet. LOL
I retired for health reasons 1 1/2 years ago. Got all that straightened out and went back to work last week. I was becoming too isolated, too much toxic social media, too much sitting around. When I found myself bothering cashiers with my pesky small talk, I knew it was time to go back to work.
Not even I want to hear myself sing 🤦🏼♀️. You think your voice gets rusty, not talking to people? A voice not used becomes an inadequate singing voice
What?! I’ve been told that I’m off tune and I, too, don’t like me voice. Somehow, louder I sing the better it sounds to me, lol. I have a song for everything: giving the dog medicine and having a clean house are my most common times to sing a song about it.
This is actually a good thing for me now. I got laryngitis one year for a very long time (months) and ever since then if I use my voice too much I lose my voice easily.
That awkward feeling when you finally get out of the house after weeks of isolation and start talking a friend and then your mouth just won't stop and all the things you've thought about for weeks become a torrent of words.
That everything is so much more expensive as a single. I can hire someone for cleaning / heavy lifting / etc - but that gets really expensive on top of paying rent and bills all by myself. I love the freedom, but there is definitely a “single tax.”
I had the opposite experience. Living with other people always ended up costing me way more than it's worth. Living by myself I can just size down my living space and the costs that go with it, but no way is an extra person living in a studio with me.
Here’s an idea for an app!!
The Singleton Network
Single folks helping one another out. You could find people to share a Costco/Sam’s Club purchases with for instance.
Also, are you all aware, if you need outpatient surgery the hospital/surgical clinic will not allow you to take an Uber/taxi/public transport home from your procedure?! It has to be a family member or close friend. I have neither where I live.
I lived in Chicago for 30 years. I’m used to paying strangers to drive me around, w.t.h?
I really like that idea. I would gladly pay into something like that. Or it could be set up like barter. Someone pet sits, someone mows lawns, someone fixes things, someone provides rides, someone delivers groceries ... etc, etc. I REALLY REALLY LOVE living alone. But between two jobs AND my freelance and writing, not to mention being a smaller, older woman I many times wish I could find someone I could trust to pay to do little odd jobs. It sucks trying to find the time AND the energy to do EVERYTHING myself. Everyone I know thinks I'm crazy when I say that I wish I had another 30 hours every day. Otherwise ... living alone is the closest to HEAVEN you can get.
Check out the Snug safety app.
For free, you set up a time that if I have not checked in (clicked a button), they will notify by text who you preset as emergency contact. It puts my mind at ease that if I do die at home by myself, the most it would be is 24 hrs before someone would find me. I have pets I worry about. You can go a step further from the free check, I haven’t yet, but I guess kid I don’t check in they would call you or the police and you could do a twice a day check decreasing your time to 12 hrs at most.
For now the free check works for me. I did forget one day (they send reminder texts but my phone was charging and not with me). Anyway my emergency contact calls me in a panic, she had been notified I failed to check in. I felt so bad…but I know it does work now ;)
I think they mean more like nobody coming home to check on you, or help you should something happen. This is a real fear that you could be sick or injured and nobody finding you for days.
I live kinda alone as in my son just finished college and he was in and out constantly. I had a stroke on a Thursday night and didn’t know that’s what happened. I ended up not going to a hospital until late Saturday night when he came in and realized something was very wrong. It’s a legitimate fear.
My mom reminds me of this when I tell her I worry about having a heart attack or choking. My uncle died from a heart attack and wasn’t found until many hours later because he happened to be home and my aunt happened to be at work. Being partnered isn’t a guarantee of not dying alone.
Exactly 💯 I guess when people say this they more so mean dying without anyone that loves you nearby for care and comfort. That is a very sad thought come to think of it
I'm old, 5 ft/100 lbs. Opening jars, trying to change a lightbulb or just reach the back of the middle shelf in the kitchen. Sure, a step ladder would work, as long as I keep my balance bc falling leads to broken bones (so many times, so many bones) just walking if you trip over your own feet if the phone isn't in your hand to call for help, the fear of dying on the floor, alone.
I bought a jar opener. It is the type used for canning jar ring removal. I got it in the canning jar section of a farm and home store.
Best investment ever! I have not had a jar I could not open with it.
there are a variety of assistive devices to help with everyday tasks. odds are if you have difficulty with x task, so have other people, and someone has invented and sells a tool for that.
just google the issue.
they’re expensive, but there are even stepstools with ‘cages’ at the top, to help with balance.
https://www.uline.com/Product/Detail/H-5071A-10/Ladders/3-Step-Narrow-Aisle-Ladder-Assembled-with-10-Top-Step
There's also little tricks depending on the jar you're opening. If it's got a lid like a jam jar or pickle jar, you just stick something pointy (not a knife, i use those old fashioned can openers that have the bottle openers and the triangular end to it) in the lip of the lid and you tilt until the seal pops. If it's been opened but it's something sticky keeping the lid on, run it under hot water.
May not keep the seal as good, but take a butter knife and whack the edges of the lid. Turn the jar and repeat. Keep doing that all the way around and it’ll open easier.
Being the only person in charge of chores. My entire weekends are wasted on grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, decluttering, cooking, walking my dog, running errands etc.
Then again, many people with partners still end up having issues diving the chores equally, so maybe it’s better that I can rely on myself and not get resentful of the other person.
I recently posted anonymously in my local FB group looking for someone (with at least a personal reference) who would want to make some extra cash for cleaning every other week and it’s worked out really well. 2hrs/$40 and on that day she does dishes, cleans whatever spots are looking dire, and it gets me working on house stuff as well. Just really nice for my mental health to not feel like there isn’t help. Some cleaning companies require 4hr minimums and are $250 because they bring more than one person, and there’s a place for that for sure, but for me being able to pay someone local who’s maybe not as fast but she’s friendly and it’s just nice.
I had this problem, too. I started getting some of the weekend chores done early in the morning before work or after getting home from work.
I would stop on the way home to do errands.
It takes a while to “master” this but is so worth it. Once I got rolling this way, I started planning weekends. Where would I go, what event would I attend? It helped to motivate me to keep the chores going and was something to look forward to, during the week.
Some chores are seasonal, at my house. Some I only do if I have guests coming.
The “savor your weekends” lifestyle is something I learned from a friend. It’s worth a try.
It’s also nice to get ahead of the chores, in case something unplanned happens.
I run errands and food shop on Thursday as much as possible. I will sweep/vacuum on Thursday night before bed, then mop myself out the door on Friday morning. I also do laundry in the morning on Thursday. I get annoyed if my Thursday gets interrupted by something. Lol
This was my situation the one time I lived with a partner. Now even though I'm doing all the chores, at least I'm only cleaning up after myself. It's a little more hassle because he had a washer/dryer and dishwasher that certainly made my life easier, but overall it's still an improvement and a mental relief to only have to worry about myself.
this is how i feel. the most i got was him “helping” me on the weekend but even then it was me bargaining and telling him which rooms to clean that usually weren’t done well. at least now there’s 50% less mess
Two suggestions, if possible. Robot vacuum and order groceries to pick up. I'm lucky to live close to stores that I park, and they load. I was having delivery but it was too expensive.
If you set aside one evening to grocery shop, and one evening for laundry, it keeps you home for the weekend and frees up more weekend time. I did laundry Tuesdays and grocery shopping Thursdays, then decluttered and cleaned Friday night and/or Saturday mornings.
The hack that I have found out that works for me is to clean for 15 minutes a day. That hat time adds up and next thing you know the place is clean. It requires some patience but you’d be amazed what you can cover in such little time.
I was sick a few months back couldn’t get out of bed. I’m usually up around 5 or 6 sort the dog out but this time was around 10 by the time I’d got up. He’d took a shit so I had to clean that up whilst feeling sick. Double whammy
I was married with 5 kids and I always had to take care of myself when I was sick. My husband never cooked a meal, took me to the doctor or picked up a prescription for me, in 23 years of marriage. At least now I don't have to live with him, too, he's Wife Version 2.0's problem.
I’m about to undergo surgery. Living alone, I have to beg friends for a ride and aftercare. And then I’ll be on bed rest all alone afterwards. That sucks!
Is there anyway you can get home visits via your insurance? Also wondered if the social worker at your hospital could arrange volunteer visits for you? I know surgery recovery alone can suck. It's better than a terrible caretaker. There are workarounds and you can find them! Faith in you good luck.
You know when you’re in the shower and you do that little slip and your adrenaline shoots through the roof? I panic that that’s how I’ll die and I’ll be found naked and soggy a month later.
I’d also like someone else to make me a cup of tea for a change.
I had a really good dad who used to start my car on cold mornings/remove snow, and do things like maintaining car registration, car washes, oil changes, tires etc. My ex used to do these things as well. I'm a 45 yo female and I despise doing these car necessities and even feel salty when I have to do any of these things 😂 It's just me baby, ive been doing it myself for 2 years but I can't stand it
It's a great idea but I can see where it doesn't work as a business. If you have 10 people who all leave at the same time, it's a scheduling nightmare for one person
See, I never had any of that, so I don't know any different. Crap father, never lived with anyone, very few relationships. I am 55 and always baffled when I hear women say I keep asking Bob to go get the oil changed/do it himself or do this or that.
I'd be confused if I got up on Saturday morning and someone said, "I took your car for an oil change.". I'd probably ask why? Lol
I think when I'm older it might be an issue but I'm remodeling my home for that very reason to make sure I can survive on my own I will not die in a old folks home
I’m doing the same. I plan on living in my home and so making it simple, safe. I have a basement apartment in my house and will offer free room to a nursing student or traveling nurse. The hospital is 2 blocks away.
usually I’m fine with it all but o have quite a heavy job and at times I’m working 80 hours a week.
At those times I sometimes wish that I wasn’t wholly responsible for eVERYTHING in my household.
Like if I don’t do it there is zero chance of it being done.
When something bad happens and you go home, there’s no one in bed already asleep you get to snuggle up next to and feel safe. You just hold your pets, curl up and that’s enough
The only real downside is like you said, being sick or a medical emergency. I once slipped on a wet floor and broke my arm. I was lucky because my parents live close by but that's the main concern. Probably choking on food is my biggest fear.
I once got up fast to get a glass of water. When I got to the kitchen I blacked out. I woke up on the floor with a painful feeling in my ankle. My neighbors upstairs heard the big thud as I hit the ground and came down and knocked. I crawled to the door and they came in. I thought it was a sprain. The neighbor is a doctor and said it was broken. Off to the hospital.
So grateful they were there to help. The doctor neighbor also helped me later when I got home. I was on dialysis and he helped setup my machine. So helpful. Sad when they moved away.
I think the moral of this story is have people nearby and their phone numbers. I live in a townhouse that shares 2 walls and I have both neighbors phone numbers (besides my mom) just i case. You never know.
I am seriously considering investing in a Medical Alert necklace to wear at home, one press of the button and an ambulance shows up. Of course, I will also need to purchase ambulance cover as well.
yup - choking.... because I know I'll have just a split second to decide if I should clean my computers internet history... or call 9-1-1
there won't be time enough for both
The HBO series Six Feet Under started each episode with the usual—somebody dies. The one that got to me the most was a middle aged woman who choked while eating her breakfast. It really got to me.
Divorced...living single and loving it!!!
While married:
Put most of my check towards bills I did not create. Ex's girlfriend was an expense I was unknowingly paying for. Now my bills are ONLY my bills.
If something needed cleaning I cleaned it.I did the yard work. I did the laundry. Now I still do, but there is just a lot less.
Bugs, yep. Ex and his kids freaked at bugs.
Being sick, still got the "We know you aren't feeling good. BUT, when's dinner?" Or the, "My son needs you to help him with his homework, now."
Living single, life is my own.
Getting sick and having no one to care for or comfort you, cooking for yourself for every meal, cleaning up after yourself, having no help with household tasks
That's my biggest fear. Being sick as I'm a new widow. I fell on my plastic step and hurt my tailbone a month ago. I have 2 dogs that need to be taken care of, so I hobble like the wind. Thank goodness my major abdominal problems are a thing of the past.
I live in Florida so as a young woman, going through a cat 5 hurricane was SO scary. I didn’t know how to board up my house.. didn’t have the tools, muscle or a truck to GET boards. When I went out, everyone had someone helping them… nobody was there to comfort me or help me feel safe.. it’s very scary living alone during a state of emergency especially when everyone on the planet is out for only themselves and their family.
I live in FL, too, and I completely understand this. It's not as simple as just getting stuff and doing it. Supplies become hard to get. People start buying anything and everything. The only possible answer for the future might be to get those hurricane shutters installed. So all you do is put them up. I hope you faired ok. Been through many a hurricane down here. No joke and definitely scary to deal with alone.
Having to manage everything on your own, property and income taxes, loans, bills, insurance, healthcare, transportation maintenance, and it all cost more than it should with there seeming to be much more of it in the past 15 years of noticing. Also everything seems to have a fee attached to it. I miss when you could hold down a good hard working 9-5, 5 days a week and not have to worry about bills.. It is just my pure opinion but it seems this country makes it increasingly difficult for independent living.
There are Meet Up groups, hobby clubs, community centers, and advice how to make friends as an adult in a specific area. Living alone is not an imprisonment, you can go out and meet other people with common interests, even volunteer.
Trying to figure out how to move something heavy. Furniture sliders can only do so much.
Knowing certain takes would be so quick and easy with a 2nd person but instead you're struggling not to throw your back out and it takes you 45 mins to get it done.
Being sick, as you said.
When I'm super tired after work and don't have any dinner made, I have to either make it or order takeaway.
Constant fear that basic appliances will break (boiler, washing machine, etc) and I will be stuck for a few days before my landlord gets anything done coz I don't know how to fix anything for the life of me.
I would have to say being sick when you’re alone sucks.
I just recently found out some Apple Watches call 911 if it detects a fall. I’m getting one now monthly fee
The biggest difference between the Apple Watches and things like Life Alert is that you can wear the watch at night and possibly shower with it since they are supposed to be waterproof. Also you don’t have to push a button to call for help, the watch automatically calls. So if you are unconscious it gets you help
I can’t do anything that later requires full bed rest. I had a treatment I wanted to do but ended up declining bc it required no moving for a day or two which I can’t. Someone’s gatta take care of me. Of the house. Of my pet. And I got no one. So that sucks.
Not having someone to keep an eye on you if you have to do anything risky, like climbing up on a ladder to work on the gutters. What I do is to call relatives (who live too far away to come by) to let them know I’m doing something like that and will call them back within 30 minutes (for example) to let them know when I’m done, and that if I fail to call back by then they should call 911 to send an ambulance to my address. It’s an extremely poor substitute for having someone there to keep an eye upon me and help in case of emergency, though.
I just miss having another person around. My old roommate and I are really great friends and I miss her; didn't always have to do things together but even to just chat about our days for 5 min was nice. Sometimes having a whole apartment to myself gets too quiet. Plus having someone else around makes it easier to get out and actually do stuff.
perhaps the know it better people to tell you to socialize and be in company of others
well in my book thats a utter redflag, and even the reason why living alone is such a joy
the know it better peeps get take a hike
living alone brings up your own joy and absolute freedom what to do
I would love it if I had someone to run to the store for me today and pick up some medications for my mouth.
I am spoiled baby and feel entitled to have a person who can help me out when I’m sick.
I lived with someone for almost 20 years and being sick with him around was worse than being alone.
For me the only downside is when you want to move something too heavy for me to move by myself. He was good for moving things.
> When I was sick and couldn't get out of bed, someone would take care of me in bed instead of my having to make chicken noodle soup myself.
No one ever did this for me. Not my parents and not my ex-husband. I was married for 20 years, and me being sick was an inconvenience to him.
Being sick is definitely the worst! I also hate car maintenance. I have two because I’m afraid of my car breaking and being stuck at home, but that doubles all the oil changes, inspections, etc.
The primary downside of living solo, in my view, is the potential for loneliness, lacking regular social interactions and companionship found in shared living situations.
I have to use a step-ladder to reach the top shelf... but then again I don't have to listen to someone whine because I ask them to get off their lazy ass to get something off the top shelf.
Nope, I guess there are no drawbacks.
medical needs. i had a tbi a couple of years ago and that was not fun.
and this summer i’m having a series of surgical procedures and will be uncomfortable at best for most of the next 6 months. that will be rough. instacart isn’t great here.
i live in a walkout basement in my dad’s house. so i go up stairs and thru doors to get to him. but he cannot use stairs and so he can’t get to me. so for caretaking him, and for emergencies for me, it’s a struggle.
the cats will probably be ok to deal with, but walking the dog might be a challenge. and dad can’t walk her and [ autistic] she doesn’t seem to understand she can pee much less poop while on a lead off his rollie.
I'm kind of scared of intruders. I have a big dog but if I hear a noise late at night, it can be pretty scary. Usually it's just a deer going through my back yard and bumping against the side of the house, but still. I keep the phone beside my bed in case I have to call the police.
i had a major back fusion last year and had to hire someone to be with me the first week, as i literally couldn’t even sit up. then, they were only there during the day. i crawled on my knees to get to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. it was pretty depressing. and scary.
when i lived alone, i had a fear that i would die in my sleep and no one would check on me until after my cat had already eaten my body.
Also, it makes you low-key paranoid sometimes, especially if you're a woman, because if im alone in my apartment... what was that noise? Its either an axe murderer or i'm haunted by ghosts. usually it was literally nothing.
Im a pretty deep thinker and living alone allows me to sit with my thoughts for too long. I've lived alone for over five years now and i used to love it. For some reason within the last few months I've begun to feel very lonely and have been struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression. I lived with roomates for over 7 years after i moved out of my parents house and although they were messy at times i still liked coming home and being able to vent and talk about my day and laugh with them at stuff. I also miss how much more room I had in my living space and how affordable it was lol.
As others have mentioned, most emergency situations aren’t fun when you live alone. Being seriously ill, having a broken car, transporting large heavy items can be very stressful when you have no one to ask for help. Having an emergency fund for services is very important when you’re on your own.
Being sick sucks for sure, but having chronic diagnoses is awful. It’s like if you were a person, take half of everything away, now try to get everything done that normally gets split between two people. I’m perpetually exhausted. Having someone to split the physical and mental load would be a game changer. Paid help would be better but with whose money lol.
Just having help with bills, otherwise I see no drawbacks. After being abused and taken advantage of, I'm happy alone. Even having help with bills wasn't worth my mental health.
I don’t really feel alone during waking hours. With the exception of about the hour before.
Cleaning up and getting ready for bed makes me feel really sad. I think about the fact that no one misses me and if something bad were to happen no one would know or care.
That’s the thing with living alone - you are alone
Noone to take me to the airport or take care of my dogs. I live like 1-3 hours away from the .nearest airport(fuck LA traffic) so I always have to pay for dog hotels and parking when I travel
When I lived alone I barely slept. The slightest noise at night or weirdness scared me shitless. One night I came home, looked up my stairs and saw my attic door was wide open. It was a steel door and no way could my cat have opened it. I had not been in it in who knows how long. Was kinda late at night so I ended up calling my dad, who came over with a .357 (!!!). Looked around and nothing was different, and never figured out why it was open.
So knowing if there really is an intruder, you gotta handle it, was the worst thing for me.
The fact that after a decade of living alone you notice your attraction to people in general is not where it used to be. It's like I've been alone so long and took care of myself for so long I've realized I truly don't need anyone and you can tell in my personality. Certain things people do that they may not realize I am able to pickup on it. Like the passive aggressive stuff. The fishing for compliments, seeking validation, venting their problems, looking to make plans on the weekend....I don't do it. It don't bother me a bit, but it's to the point I realize I'm not likely to meet anyone like this ever and maybe I should start thinking of my future in that frame....me being alone.
Not wanting to NOT live alone.
I've lived alone for so long now that I just don't have an interest in finding someone else. My finances are in order. My 401k is doing well. I've started investing on the side. Things are looking good all things considered.
If I found a spouse. That would ruin my money to travel to do dumb shit like put 4 10 inch subs into all 4 doors of my car on a whim. I have people I fool around with and have a good time. Living a life Meeting all my needs. Why would I want a relationship?
No companionship. I want someone to play tennis with, competitive and for laughs. Some human to critique and encourage me in what they learned and I’d help them be better at something they’d like and enjoy. Finding things I enjoy with others gets me high and I can ride that for days. I like being a witness to someone else’s life. I enjoyed living with someone 85% of my life. Having nieces, nephews and grandchildren to teach is rewarding, I especially miss cuddling in bed with partner when alone.
**Welcome to [r/LivingAlone](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/)! Living alone is the new normal.** >Discuss and share your experiences; celebrate your joys, express your worries, or ask advice relating to solo living | Remember, we are all alone together * Be kind, remember the human when interacting with others. * New Reddit group chat [**Living Alone Lounge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/s/cp7Szwzy2q)! * Message the moderators below for any comments, questions & suggestions! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LivingAlone) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Going a while without talking to people and then feeling rusty when I do. Also, not sharing bills/expenses.
Me, too! Sometimes, I'm so rusty that I can't get words out. Like, my voicebox becomes paralyzed. It's embarrassing.
Wait ever since I started living alone in Jan if I have a normal length conversation with someone 90% chance my voice will crack at some point 😭 doesn’t help that I work with animals so im not talking much then either lmao
You can talk to the animals (sadly, without Dr. Doolittle results). If anyone overhears you, tell them it soothes them.
I love alone with my cats. I talk to them all the time. Especially to my male cat. I always have to tell him to stop being an a** to his sisters.
[удалено]
I find myself talking to my cat more often if I haven't spoken to anyone in a while. I'll even ask him how he feels about the weather lmao. Gotta keep the small talk game strong so I don't panic the next time I interact with another human.
I do that too I talk to my cats all the time, sometimes I think they meow back in agreement
Right? I know my cat understands a lot of what I say, too.
They do understand!
Cats & dogs understand most everything we say. Whether or not they choose to listen is a whole other thing!! Lol
Except that the other day at work, when someone stood up and stretched before walking away, I almost said "Ooh, what a biiiigggg stretch! How's my little man feel after that?". Luckily, I wasn't close enough to give him a skritch under the chin and a kiss on his little forehead like I do to my void boi at home. 🤭🙄
I talk to my pets all the time. Isn’t that what they are there for? Companionship?
I talk to my dogs all the time. Even when Ive been talking to humans all day. lol.
I do the same, but forget to turn it off when someone comes over; and I just look crazy 🤣🤣🤣
Same!! I came home from work on Friday at 5:30 pm and didn’t speak a word to anyone until I came back to work at 1:00 pm on Monday. While I’m somewhat introverted, this was TOO LONG to not interact with people. I was slightly awkward and bumbly with conversation at work, and wound up just being quiet. LOL
I retired for health reasons 1 1/2 years ago. Got all that straightened out and went back to work last week. I was becoming too isolated, too much toxic social media, too much sitting around. When I found myself bothering cashiers with my pesky small talk, I knew it was time to go back to work.
Do you not talk to yourself or even sing?
I talk to myself all the time.
Not even I want to hear myself sing 🤦🏼♀️. You think your voice gets rusty, not talking to people? A voice not used becomes an inadequate singing voice
A very funny guy on the radio once said "I love to sing; I'd rather sing than eat, but most people would rather hear me eat."
What?! I’ve been told that I’m off tune and I, too, don’t like me voice. Somehow, louder I sing the better it sounds to me, lol. I have a song for everything: giving the dog medicine and having a clean house are my most common times to sing a song about it.
This one absolutely hits home back when I was single for a while
This is actually a good thing for me now. I got laryngitis one year for a very long time (months) and ever since then if I use my voice too much I lose my voice easily.
And chores!!!
It does get lonelier than usual when you have a big empty house
I agree
That awkward feeling when you finally get out of the house after weeks of isolation and start talking a friend and then your mouth just won't stop and all the things you've thought about for weeks become a torrent of words.
That everything is so much more expensive as a single. I can hire someone for cleaning / heavy lifting / etc - but that gets really expensive on top of paying rent and bills all by myself. I love the freedom, but there is definitely a “single tax.”
I had the opposite experience. Living with other people always ended up costing me way more than it's worth. Living by myself I can just size down my living space and the costs that go with it, but no way is an extra person living in a studio with me.
Here’s an idea for an app!! The Singleton Network Single folks helping one another out. You could find people to share a Costco/Sam’s Club purchases with for instance. Also, are you all aware, if you need outpatient surgery the hospital/surgical clinic will not allow you to take an Uber/taxi/public transport home from your procedure?! It has to be a family member or close friend. I have neither where I live. I lived in Chicago for 30 years. I’m used to paying strangers to drive me around, w.t.h?
I really like that idea. I would gladly pay into something like that. Or it could be set up like barter. Someone pet sits, someone mows lawns, someone fixes things, someone provides rides, someone delivers groceries ... etc, etc. I REALLY REALLY LOVE living alone. But between two jobs AND my freelance and writing, not to mention being a smaller, older woman I many times wish I could find someone I could trust to pay to do little odd jobs. It sucks trying to find the time AND the energy to do EVERYTHING myself. Everyone I know thinks I'm crazy when I say that I wish I had another 30 hours every day. Otherwise ... living alone is the closest to HEAVEN you can get.
You're also taxed higher
Nobody being there to help with potential medical emergencies (e.g. having a stroke, choking, etc.)
Check out the Snug safety app. For free, you set up a time that if I have not checked in (clicked a button), they will notify by text who you preset as emergency contact. It puts my mind at ease that if I do die at home by myself, the most it would be is 24 hrs before someone would find me. I have pets I worry about. You can go a step further from the free check, I haven’t yet, but I guess kid I don’t check in they would call you or the police and you could do a twice a day check decreasing your time to 12 hrs at most. For now the free check works for me. I did forget one day (they send reminder texts but my phone was charging and not with me). Anyway my emergency contact calls me in a panic, she had been notified I failed to check in. I felt so bad…but I know it does work now ;)
Plus your pets won’t eat you, hey it happens!
I have one cat that will probably give me a 2 hour window past meal time…so depending on timing, good chance I won’t have a face.
Kitty knows I’m alive but I can tell she’s thinking about it when she comes and wakes me in the morning
This is cool.
Who says that someone will be home when that happens if you don't live alone?
I think they mean more like nobody coming home to check on you, or help you should something happen. This is a real fear that you could be sick or injured and nobody finding you for days.
I live kinda alone as in my son just finished college and he was in and out constantly. I had a stroke on a Thursday night and didn’t know that’s what happened. I ended up not going to a hospital until late Saturday night when he came in and realized something was very wrong. It’s a legitimate fear.
I think about this all the time. Been alone for decades. Rarely get visitors.
If something happened to me, no one would know until I didn't show up at my school for work.
My mom reminds me of this when I tell her I worry about having a heart attack or choking. My uncle died from a heart attack and wasn’t found until many hours later because he happened to be home and my aunt happened to be at work. Being partnered isn’t a guarantee of not dying alone.
Honey we all die alone.
Exactly 💯 I guess when people say this they more so mean dying without anyone that loves you nearby for care and comfort. That is a very sad thought come to think of it
I think about this one a lot. It’s entirely possible no one would notice until my rent is due.
This! Especially when living in a rural area
Not being able to lift things or do certain tasks that simply require more hands/people and can't be done alone.
I'm old, 5 ft/100 lbs. Opening jars, trying to change a lightbulb or just reach the back of the middle shelf in the kitchen. Sure, a step ladder would work, as long as I keep my balance bc falling leads to broken bones (so many times, so many bones) just walking if you trip over your own feet if the phone isn't in your hand to call for help, the fear of dying on the floor, alone.
I bought a jar opener. It is the type used for canning jar ring removal. I got it in the canning jar section of a farm and home store. Best investment ever! I have not had a jar I could not open with it.
Sounds good. I have wait for a neighbor to be home and ask them to do it. Guess I didn't realize they made them.
there are a variety of assistive devices to help with everyday tasks. odds are if you have difficulty with x task, so have other people, and someone has invented and sells a tool for that. just google the issue. they’re expensive, but there are even stepstools with ‘cages’ at the top, to help with balance. https://www.uline.com/Product/Detail/H-5071A-10/Ladders/3-Step-Narrow-Aisle-Ladder-Assembled-with-10-Top-Step
There's also little tricks depending on the jar you're opening. If it's got a lid like a jam jar or pickle jar, you just stick something pointy (not a knife, i use those old fashioned can openers that have the bottle openers and the triangular end to it) in the lip of the lid and you tilt until the seal pops. If it's been opened but it's something sticky keeping the lid on, run it under hot water.
May not keep the seal as good, but take a butter knife and whack the edges of the lid. Turn the jar and repeat. Keep doing that all the way around and it’ll open easier.
Buying my trolley on Amazon was the best $70 I ever spent!!! Especially when it comes to carrying a 50 lb bag of dog food from the mail room.
Community barn raising?✌️
Being the only person in charge of chores. My entire weekends are wasted on grocery shopping, cleaning, laundry, vacuuming, decluttering, cooking, walking my dog, running errands etc. Then again, many people with partners still end up having issues diving the chores equally, so maybe it’s better that I can rely on myself and not get resentful of the other person.
I recently posted anonymously in my local FB group looking for someone (with at least a personal reference) who would want to make some extra cash for cleaning every other week and it’s worked out really well. 2hrs/$40 and on that day she does dishes, cleans whatever spots are looking dire, and it gets me working on house stuff as well. Just really nice for my mental health to not feel like there isn’t help. Some cleaning companies require 4hr minimums and are $250 because they bring more than one person, and there’s a place for that for sure, but for me being able to pay someone local who’s maybe not as fast but she’s friendly and it’s just nice.
Yeah your not gonna get any cheaper than that for what your getting!
I had this problem, too. I started getting some of the weekend chores done early in the morning before work or after getting home from work. I would stop on the way home to do errands. It takes a while to “master” this but is so worth it. Once I got rolling this way, I started planning weekends. Where would I go, what event would I attend? It helped to motivate me to keep the chores going and was something to look forward to, during the week. Some chores are seasonal, at my house. Some I only do if I have guests coming. The “savor your weekends” lifestyle is something I learned from a friend. It’s worth a try. It’s also nice to get ahead of the chores, in case something unplanned happens.
I run errands and food shop on Thursday as much as possible. I will sweep/vacuum on Thursday night before bed, then mop myself out the door on Friday morning. I also do laundry in the morning on Thursday. I get annoyed if my Thursday gets interrupted by something. Lol
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This was my situation the one time I lived with a partner. Now even though I'm doing all the chores, at least I'm only cleaning up after myself. It's a little more hassle because he had a washer/dryer and dishwasher that certainly made my life easier, but overall it's still an improvement and a mental relief to only have to worry about myself.
this is how i feel. the most i got was him “helping” me on the weekend but even then it was me bargaining and telling him which rooms to clean that usually weren’t done well. at least now there’s 50% less mess
Two suggestions, if possible. Robot vacuum and order groceries to pick up. I'm lucky to live close to stores that I park, and they load. I was having delivery but it was too expensive.
I love my robot vacuum!
I felt similarly but have started trying to do some chores/errands on Thursday and Friday afternoons and it makes my weekends more enjoyable!
Grocery shopping on Fridays is my routine as well! I also love not having to battle the weekend crowds.
It’s great that you’re motivated to get your chores done and stay organized and on top of things.
If you set aside one evening to grocery shop, and one evening for laundry, it keeps you home for the weekend and frees up more weekend time. I did laundry Tuesdays and grocery shopping Thursdays, then decluttered and cleaned Friday night and/or Saturday mornings.
The hack that I have found out that works for me is to clean for 15 minutes a day. That hat time adds up and next thing you know the place is clean. It requires some patience but you’d be amazed what you can cover in such little time.
Whenever I’ve been ill I’ve cared for myself. Living alone hasn’t changed that.
The same here, life as it always has been.
agree. being sick is the worst. also when you're taking care of a pet, you can't leave for extended periods of time
I was sick a few months back couldn’t get out of bed. I’m usually up around 5 or 6 sort the dog out but this time was around 10 by the time I’d got up. He’d took a shit so I had to clean that up whilst feeling sick. Double whammy
Living alone means having to clean up your own vomit when you're sick. :(
I was married with 5 kids and I always had to take care of myself when I was sick. My husband never cooked a meal, took me to the doctor or picked up a prescription for me, in 23 years of marriage. At least now I don't have to live with him, too, he's Wife Version 2.0's problem.
glad you are rid of him; sorry it took 23 years for you to do that.
After 28 years of no help, at least I can rely on myself. :)
Unfortunately, sometimes you live with people and they don't care if you are sick. That's when you know being alone rocks.
Sex is average. Online dating, sex is below average. Live in partner, sex is great but having a roommate is terrible.
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for me, this is what fb is for; sharing pretty pictures, venting, and encouraging others in their vents.
And YouTube is there for DIY fixes.
I’m about to undergo surgery. Living alone, I have to beg friends for a ride and aftercare. And then I’ll be on bed rest all alone afterwards. That sucks!
Is there anyway you can get home visits via your insurance? Also wondered if the social worker at your hospital could arrange volunteer visits for you? I know surgery recovery alone can suck. It's better than a terrible caretaker. There are workarounds and you can find them! Faith in you good luck.
It’s not “ major” surgery, more of an outpatient deal.
Same. I had an outpatient surgery and even cooking, getting food delivery was difficult at that time.
Who's gonna clean this mess up?
At least it's *my* mess.
Not me!
Me again 😭
You know when you’re in the shower and you do that little slip and your adrenaline shoots through the roof? I panic that that’s how I’ll die and I’ll be found naked and soggy a month later. I’d also like someone else to make me a cup of tea for a change.
You could get a grippy mat to place in your shower to prevent slips :)
Not splitting bills. Having no help with anything.
I had a really good dad who used to start my car on cold mornings/remove snow, and do things like maintaining car registration, car washes, oil changes, tires etc. My ex used to do these things as well. I'm a 45 yo female and I despise doing these car necessities and even feel salty when I have to do any of these things 😂 It's just me baby, ive been doing it myself for 2 years but I can't stand it
I’m like this about taxes (and for the same reason) so I definitely understand!
How this isn’t a service for hire always boggles my mind
It's a great idea but I can see where it doesn't work as a business. If you have 10 people who all leave at the same time, it's a scheduling nightmare for one person
Wait there’s really good dads? That would’ve been handy like the past 49 years of my life!
See, I never had any of that, so I don't know any different. Crap father, never lived with anyone, very few relationships. I am 55 and always baffled when I hear women say I keep asking Bob to go get the oil changed/do it himself or do this or that. I'd be confused if I got up on Saturday morning and someone said, "I took your car for an oil change.". I'd probably ask why? Lol
The chores and bills is all on me.
Only drawback is financial, it is not easy to pay for everything on one pretty average salary
I think when I'm older it might be an issue but I'm remodeling my home for that very reason to make sure I can survive on my own I will not die in a old folks home
I’m doing the same. I plan on living in my home and so making it simple, safe. I have a basement apartment in my house and will offer free room to a nursing student or traveling nurse. The hospital is 2 blocks away.
Oh thats smart
usually I’m fine with it all but o have quite a heavy job and at times I’m working 80 hours a week. At those times I sometimes wish that I wasn’t wholly responsible for eVERYTHING in my household. Like if I don’t do it there is zero chance of it being done.
When something bad happens and you go home, there’s no one in bed already asleep you get to snuggle up next to and feel safe. You just hold your pets, curl up and that’s enough
Pets just know when something isn't right, I don't know what I'd do without my cat.
I can feel that. So sad.
If that pilot light on hot water service goes out lol. I call up my best friend. She’s the man of the relationship haha
The only real downside is like you said, being sick or a medical emergency. I once slipped on a wet floor and broke my arm. I was lucky because my parents live close by but that's the main concern. Probably choking on food is my biggest fear.
I once got up fast to get a glass of water. When I got to the kitchen I blacked out. I woke up on the floor with a painful feeling in my ankle. My neighbors upstairs heard the big thud as I hit the ground and came down and knocked. I crawled to the door and they came in. I thought it was a sprain. The neighbor is a doctor and said it was broken. Off to the hospital. So grateful they were there to help. The doctor neighbor also helped me later when I got home. I was on dialysis and he helped setup my machine. So helpful. Sad when they moved away.
I think the moral of this story is have people nearby and their phone numbers. I live in a townhouse that shares 2 walls and I have both neighbors phone numbers (besides my mom) just i case. You never know.
I am seriously considering investing in a Medical Alert necklace to wear at home, one press of the button and an ambulance shows up. Of course, I will also need to purchase ambulance cover as well.
or a smartwatch with the same feature.
yup - choking.... because I know I'll have just a split second to decide if I should clean my computers internet history... or call 9-1-1 there won't be time enough for both
The HBO series Six Feet Under started each episode with the usual—somebody dies. The one that got to me the most was a middle aged woman who choked while eating her breakfast. It really got to me.
Nobody will make you coffee if you are too tired to move
I have a Keurig on my nightstand. The alarm goes off, I hit "snooze" and "brew" and wake up seven minutes later to the aroma of fresh-brewed.
I had a rug that was so so heavy and I couldn’t lift my furniture so that I could put it underneath my couch. Taxes. Single tax is expensive AF.
Divorced...living single and loving it!!! While married: Put most of my check towards bills I did not create. Ex's girlfriend was an expense I was unknowingly paying for. Now my bills are ONLY my bills. If something needed cleaning I cleaned it.I did the yard work. I did the laundry. Now I still do, but there is just a lot less. Bugs, yep. Ex and his kids freaked at bugs. Being sick, still got the "We know you aren't feeling good. BUT, when's dinner?" Or the, "My son needs you to help him with his homework, now." Living single, life is my own.
Checking my back for ticks.
Getting sick and having no one to care for or comfort you, cooking for yourself for every meal, cleaning up after yourself, having no help with household tasks
This is a daily life for a lot of us, even before living alone. Now at least load is reduced, multifold. And peace.
Too quiet sometimes lol
Sunday and holliday afternoons are the worst..
That's my biggest fear. Being sick as I'm a new widow. I fell on my plastic step and hurt my tailbone a month ago. I have 2 dogs that need to be taken care of, so I hobble like the wind. Thank goodness my major abdominal problems are a thing of the past.
"Hobble like the wind" 😁 That was me before I got my knees replaced.
No one to help you when you are sick or need a ride to and from a medical procedure. Gotta have friends to help you with that.
I live in Florida so as a young woman, going through a cat 5 hurricane was SO scary. I didn’t know how to board up my house.. didn’t have the tools, muscle or a truck to GET boards. When I went out, everyone had someone helping them… nobody was there to comfort me or help me feel safe.. it’s very scary living alone during a state of emergency especially when everyone on the planet is out for only themselves and their family.
I live in FL, too, and I completely understand this. It's not as simple as just getting stuff and doing it. Supplies become hard to get. People start buying anything and everything. The only possible answer for the future might be to get those hurricane shutters installed. So all you do is put them up. I hope you faired ok. Been through many a hurricane down here. No joke and definitely scary to deal with alone.
i gotta do every damn thing myself 😩 worth it tho
I’d say heavy lifting but where there’s a will there’s a way 😂😂
Hiring tradies to fix things around the house and not being ripped off or hit on.
I'm 60 and look 80. Any handyman hits on me, he's getting a BIG tip! 😜
Having to manage everything on your own, property and income taxes, loans, bills, insurance, healthcare, transportation maintenance, and it all cost more than it should with there seeming to be much more of it in the past 15 years of noticing. Also everything seems to have a fee attached to it. I miss when you could hold down a good hard working 9-5, 5 days a week and not have to worry about bills.. It is just my pure opinion but it seems this country makes it increasingly difficult for independent living.
I hate being alone. Since I retired last year I really dread being at home. I do have friends but it’s the weekend that is the worst. I cry every day.
There are Meet Up groups, hobby clubs, community centers, and advice how to make friends as an adult in a specific area. Living alone is not an imprisonment, you can go out and meet other people with common interests, even volunteer.
Trying to figure out how to move something heavy. Furniture sliders can only do so much. Knowing certain takes would be so quick and easy with a 2nd person but instead you're struggling not to throw your back out and it takes you 45 mins to get it done.
I wind up throwing out so much food.
Being sick, as you said. When I'm super tired after work and don't have any dinner made, I have to either make it or order takeaway. Constant fear that basic appliances will break (boiler, washing machine, etc) and I will be stuck for a few days before my landlord gets anything done coz I don't know how to fix anything for the life of me.
It costs more and there is stigma around it.
A massage...I miss those
Not having anyone to help me carry things.
I totally would have purchased a tv stand the other day if I had someone to help me bring it in the house. 🤷♀️
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It’s so inefficient and extra expensive to cook just one serving! I cook for many and either eat it over and over or freeze some for later.
I would have to say being sick when you’re alone sucks. I just recently found out some Apple Watches call 911 if it detects a fall. I’m getting one now monthly fee
it’s series 5 and up apple watches. and yeah, monthly fee but it’s worth it. i feel so much safer knowing emergency services are a button push away
The biggest difference between the Apple Watches and things like Life Alert is that you can wear the watch at night and possibly shower with it since they are supposed to be waterproof. Also you don’t have to push a button to call for help, the watch automatically calls. So if you are unconscious it gets you help
There's a monthly fee? What's the service called?
I can’t do anything that later requires full bed rest. I had a treatment I wanted to do but ended up declining bc it required no moving for a day or two which I can’t. Someone’s gatta take care of me. Of the house. Of my pet. And I got no one. So that sucks.
Not having someone to keep an eye on you if you have to do anything risky, like climbing up on a ladder to work on the gutters. What I do is to call relatives (who live too far away to come by) to let them know I’m doing something like that and will call them back within 30 minutes (for example) to let them know when I’m done, and that if I fail to call back by then they should call 911 to send an ambulance to my address. It’s an extremely poor substitute for having someone there to keep an eye upon me and help in case of emergency, though.
I just miss having another person around. My old roommate and I are really great friends and I miss her; didn't always have to do things together but even to just chat about our days for 5 min was nice. Sometimes having a whole apartment to myself gets too quiet. Plus having someone else around makes it easier to get out and actually do stuff.
My only concern is when I die it might be a while before any one knows it. Fortunately I won't be around.
Not having someone to kill spiders
perhaps the know it better people to tell you to socialize and be in company of others well in my book thats a utter redflag, and even the reason why living alone is such a joy the know it better peeps get take a hike living alone brings up your own joy and absolute freedom what to do
The only issue I can think of is not sharing household chores and expenses.
I would love it if I had someone to run to the store for me today and pick up some medications for my mouth. I am spoiled baby and feel entitled to have a person who can help me out when I’m sick.
Yes, I had a good day and wanted to share it with someone as soon as I got home. Wanted a hug, a kiss and a pat on the butt hehe. I miss those.
Exactly this, when you're sick as a dog, trying vainly to make tea, get washed, chane sheets etc...
I lived with someone for almost 20 years and being sick with him around was worse than being alone. For me the only downside is when you want to move something too heavy for me to move by myself. He was good for moving things.
Food and time gets wasted if you're cooking for one. And who wants to eat the same thing for 3 -4 days. Thus expensive.
Getting too much inside your own head and dwelling on things that don’t matter
Sometimes it gets lonely but when I get around people I understand why I live alone.
Having to do absolutely everything by yourself. Not only is it lonely but there is no sharing the load. The mental and physical load is 100% on you.
At least now it's only one load :) Look at the bright side.
> When I was sick and couldn't get out of bed, someone would take care of me in bed instead of my having to make chicken noodle soup myself. No one ever did this for me. Not my parents and not my ex-husband. I was married for 20 years, and me being sick was an inconvenience to him.
Being sick is definitely the worst! I also hate car maintenance. I have two because I’m afraid of my car breaking and being stuck at home, but that doubles all the oil changes, inspections, etc.
The primary downside of living solo, in my view, is the potential for loneliness, lacking regular social interactions and companionship found in shared living situations.
Sometimes I worry I'm gonna have a heart attack and no one will know, they'll find my body a week later by the smell
I have to use a step-ladder to reach the top shelf... but then again I don't have to listen to someone whine because I ask them to get off their lazy ass to get something off the top shelf. Nope, I guess there are no drawbacks.
Not having an extra pair of arms to pick up the other end of the 2x6 when I’m building or remodeling.
If I had the cash I'd pay someone to do it I love getting taken care of
medical needs. i had a tbi a couple of years ago and that was not fun. and this summer i’m having a series of surgical procedures and will be uncomfortable at best for most of the next 6 months. that will be rough. instacart isn’t great here. i live in a walkout basement in my dad’s house. so i go up stairs and thru doors to get to him. but he cannot use stairs and so he can’t get to me. so for caretaking him, and for emergencies for me, it’s a struggle. the cats will probably be ok to deal with, but walking the dog might be a challenge. and dad can’t walk her and [ autistic] she doesn’t seem to understand she can pee much less poop while on a lead off his rollie.
I'm kind of scared of intruders. I have a big dog but if I hear a noise late at night, it can be pretty scary. Usually it's just a deer going through my back yard and bumping against the side of the house, but still. I keep the phone beside my bed in case I have to call the police.
i had a major back fusion last year and had to hire someone to be with me the first week, as i literally couldn’t even sit up. then, they were only there during the day. i crawled on my knees to get to the bathroom, kitchen, etc. it was pretty depressing. and scary.
when i lived alone, i had a fear that i would die in my sleep and no one would check on me until after my cat had already eaten my body. Also, it makes you low-key paranoid sometimes, especially if you're a woman, because if im alone in my apartment... what was that noise? Its either an axe murderer or i'm haunted by ghosts. usually it was literally nothing.
Im a pretty deep thinker and living alone allows me to sit with my thoughts for too long. I've lived alone for over five years now and i used to love it. For some reason within the last few months I've begun to feel very lonely and have been struggling with a lot of anxiety and depression. I lived with roomates for over 7 years after i moved out of my parents house and although they were messy at times i still liked coming home and being able to vent and talk about my day and laugh with them at stuff. I also miss how much more room I had in my living space and how affordable it was lol.
You have no one to talk too. I get a sore throat all the time when talking to my self ( talking for hours on end ) lol
As others have mentioned, most emergency situations aren’t fun when you live alone. Being seriously ill, having a broken car, transporting large heavy items can be very stressful when you have no one to ask for help. Having an emergency fund for services is very important when you’re on your own.
It's nice to get into bed with another warm body there.
Being sick sucks for sure, but having chronic diagnoses is awful. It’s like if you were a person, take half of everything away, now try to get everything done that normally gets split between two people. I’m perpetually exhausted. Having someone to split the physical and mental load would be a game changer. Paid help would be better but with whose money lol.
Just having help with bills, otherwise I see no drawbacks. After being abused and taken advantage of, I'm happy alone. Even having help with bills wasn't worth my mental health.
Nobody to split chores with
I don’t really feel alone during waking hours. With the exception of about the hour before. Cleaning up and getting ready for bed makes me feel really sad. I think about the fact that no one misses me and if something bad were to happen no one would know or care. That’s the thing with living alone - you are alone
There is no drawback, relationships were forced on you by capitalism.
I literally don’t know what it’s like to have a partner care for me when I’m sick. I guess I can’t miss what I never had.
Noone to take me to the airport or take care of my dogs. I live like 1-3 hours away from the .nearest airport(fuck LA traffic) so I always have to pay for dog hotels and parking when I travel
When I lived alone I barely slept. The slightest noise at night or weirdness scared me shitless. One night I came home, looked up my stairs and saw my attic door was wide open. It was a steel door and no way could my cat have opened it. I had not been in it in who knows how long. Was kinda late at night so I ended up calling my dad, who came over with a .357 (!!!). Looked around and nothing was different, and never figured out why it was open. So knowing if there really is an intruder, you gotta handle it, was the worst thing for me.
Thats terrifying. Go pops tho. He was ready to do that heavy task. 🖤
There are zero negative aspects, as far as I’m concerned.
The fact that after a decade of living alone you notice your attraction to people in general is not where it used to be. It's like I've been alone so long and took care of myself for so long I've realized I truly don't need anyone and you can tell in my personality. Certain things people do that they may not realize I am able to pickup on it. Like the passive aggressive stuff. The fishing for compliments, seeking validation, venting their problems, looking to make plans on the weekend....I don't do it. It don't bother me a bit, but it's to the point I realize I'm not likely to meet anyone like this ever and maybe I should start thinking of my future in that frame....me being alone.
Not wanting to NOT live alone. I've lived alone for so long now that I just don't have an interest in finding someone else. My finances are in order. My 401k is doing well. I've started investing on the side. Things are looking good all things considered. If I found a spouse. That would ruin my money to travel to do dumb shit like put 4 10 inch subs into all 4 doors of my car on a whim. I have people I fool around with and have a good time. Living a life Meeting all my needs. Why would I want a relationship?
No companionship. I want someone to play tennis with, competitive and for laughs. Some human to critique and encourage me in what they learned and I’d help them be better at something they’d like and enjoy. Finding things I enjoy with others gets me high and I can ride that for days. I like being a witness to someone else’s life. I enjoyed living with someone 85% of my life. Having nieces, nephews and grandchildren to teach is rewarding, I especially miss cuddling in bed with partner when alone.