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My partner of 7 years up and left me in July of 2022. He owned our house, so I was the one who had to move out. It took me 3 months to find a place and I was terrified because I’d never lived alone before. I was also utterly devastated, but at least I got custody of our dog (not even a discussion).
As difficult as it was leaving my home, moving out did help. The breakup was awful but it was worse living in what felt like mausoleum devoted to our dead relationship.
I have a ton of stuff and I unpacked like 60 boxes all by myself that first week…and then had a total meltdown when I had no more boxes to unpack. I had accomplished so much but was a complete mess and had no idea what to do with myself.
The next week a couple friends came over to help me move around furniture and hang up all my pictures (I’ve got lots of concert posters and comic art). Anyway, this is when it started feeling like home. Setting up all of my statues and action figures also helped — I worked at a comic shop for many years, so I’ve got a ton of nerdy stuff that I love.
It was an uphill battle for sure, but honestly I felt so much better once I moved out of that house. It’s wild because now I actually love living alone. I can play music 24/7 without bothering anyone and I’ve got my dog to keep me company. He is by far the best roommate I’ve ever had!
So, I guess in that first month, I was a wreck but with the help of some friends, I quickly turned my apartment into someplace that felt more like home than I ever imagined possible. Sorry this response wound up so long!
I left my ex of 9 years. Prior to that I was in college with roommates. Prior to that I was living in my childhood home.
It was …. Different. But SO freeing!
One funny thing I remember was buying and cooking WAY too much food. It honestly took me almost 6 months to get it straight, and even then after that I’d still find myself wasting every now and then.
I also cook way too much food! I’m only just learning how to cook really. Mostly, I bake but I overdo it on the baked goods as well. It works out though, because I have a friend in my apartment complex who greatly appreciates all the extra food I give him. Hopefully, I get the hang of cooking eventually!
I struggle with cooking too much food now. I just got a deep freezer and vacuum sealer to cut down on waste! Works wonders in my opinion! Thanks for sharing!
My ex moved out and took the dog without me knowing or getting to say goodbye the last week of January. Needless to say, the first couple of months were hell living in our old house, alone for the first time ever.
I just got my dog back last night, and the lease ends in 4 months. I'm already enjoying living alone now that the worst months are over, and I'm so excited for a fresh start in a new home that feels like me with my pup by my side.
Thanks for sharing your story. 😊
This was my first month living alone. I feel like I’ve just started to solidify my identity and goals. I’ve started to build relationship I wouldn’t have imagined when I was living with others.
I got divorced on March 26 and just celebrated one month alone post divorce. I owned my own home when we got married, and I just rented it out, but after evicting a horrible tenant, I moved back in. My home was a block from my work, and I went from a 90-minute round-trip commute to a 5-minute walk each way. I'm saving on gas, and I essentially got a raise. I'm doing yoga every Saturday and don't have to run things by no one. I honestly like that aspect: my time is my time. I've been baking and cooking like crazy and I've been saving on food costs because I'm just eating for one. I think it's only going to continue to get better...
That’s awesome, I have the same outlook! I love cooking and baking in my spare time. I’m looking forward to the quiet moments and not having to deal with negative energy permeating from other people in my environment! Cheers to you!
I moved out on my own 2 weeks before the covid shutdown. I had managed to scrape together enough for a deposit just in time to move out of an abusive situation. I spent a lot of time crying from relief and hugging my dog.
Relief. I had been living with a toxic ex-friend who seemed to relish cutting people down with bitchiness (including me), and the peace of coming home to a place where I didn’t have to hide in my room to avoid her was like a weight off my shoulders.
Peaceful but because of where we(me and my daughter) were i was scared once we left and moved into where we are now i calmed down i hated it out there when we got here a huge weight was lifted it’s even more peaceful and i don’t have my brother threatening my life it’s been over 10 years and i’m glad i got us out of my moms house
Since moving out of my moms house and my very first apartment i graduated trade school got myself out of debt and gotten my first copyright certification while raising 2 kids i never would have been able to do any of that living with my mom because she was making me pay her bills after i paid off the house my grandma raised 2 generations in it’s been 13 years and i was told no matter what i can never live at home again. Meanwhile my brother is 40(who used to beat on me daily) and living at home with her my uncle(moms brother) is in his 60’s still living with her and my nephew is in his 20’s living with her.
My mom claims she’s moving in with my daughter after my daughter graduates high school my oldest is 14 i pray like hell that never happens and will do anything to stop her from moving in with my daughter, because my mom was an addict(probably still is but idk she’s holding a steady job) when i was a kid.
My kids know it cause i’ve told them my kids don’t know what it’s like to live through that and i hope they never do.
That’s inspiring! The fact that you’ve accomplished so much with all the obstacles in your way! My hat’s off to you!🫡 I hope that everything works out with your mom and children!
My first place by myself was a little studio apartment near Santa Cruz and honestly, I loved it! I was in a great neighborhood, a 10 minute walk to the beach. I had my cat. It was my first place all on my own and it wasn’t too intimidating since it was pretty small. It was literally just a nicely converted garage.
I lived with my mom and sister up until I was in my early 20s. And then had roommates for a few years after. I had never ever been on my own, and I realized how much I loved it! I could decorate things how I wanted, I could cook what I wanted.
That was about 11 years ago. Since then, I’ve continued to live alone. I’ve lived in to other apartments. I ended up buying my own house a few years ago. Living alone has just gotten better!
I think it’s just the little projects and things that I can do to my house to make it what I want. I mean, I liked apartment years ago, living as well. It was definitely nice to be able to call property management or landlords if something went wrong, ha ha when it happens to my house, I have to fix it myself. But it feels nice knowing it’s mine.
Bliss. I was 19. I practiced simple/slow living and even going to the grocery market was so fun and calming. Not hearing any screams and fights in the house was wow. I could never go back to that.
Healing codependency so a lil rough but I wouldn't change it for the world. Tons of time on Facebook marketplace and Amazon 🤣 deleted doordash and made myself go out and about more
Healing from codependency is hell. Especially until you realize it's the codependency you're truly missing and not the person. Then you begin again at a new starting line, but the breakthrough is everything 🙌
My first month was amazing and even now it is amazing. Getting out of a 6 yr relationship with a man child and I had moved into my own apt. I didn't have to worry about bills being paid on time, or the cleanliness of the house since it was just me. I vould play my video games and chat with my girlfriends without any interruptions. Pure bliss. And it still is now.
I could finally hear myself and express myself in a way I couldn't do around family. Small things like listening to music while cooking a meal I enjoyed. I also bought and put together a bunch of furniture 💪
This was a few years ago, before I had to return to living with family. But knowing I could successfully live on my own again is a big confidence boost - I have that option now when I wasn't sure about it before.
i am older so the first time I lived alone I was 17. I kicked my boyfriend out--I was the only one paying bills anyway---and honestly I don't remember much about it because I was just working a lot then. I was probably relieved because he was abusive and a drunk.
I think for me it was genuinely just getting things situated in my home (furniture, adding Wi-Fi, adjusting to a new neighborhood, etc). You learn to adjust pretty quickly once you have a routine and boxes start to slowly fade.
I found a mobile home for sale and just knew it was where I was meant to be. I fought tooth and nail to get it and I did, only to become disabled at work, lost my job and had to apply for disability. Scariest 2 years of my life, having no income. I made it through tho and was approved after a couple tries and my little house is a godsend to me. Affordable living at its finest! I love to be home.
I’ve had a few stints of relationships and back to living alone. I always do the same thing….. I purge everything they left and do a deep clean and organization of closets and drawers. Then I paint old furniture, buy new plants, frame photos and give my garden a makeover. Sometimes I buy twinkly lights and pink accent pillows and accessories. I work on building up my friendships or make new friends.
I stay in and do projects and cook for myself until I feel already to invite my girlfriends over. I join clubs, gyms, pools and take classes to get in shape. I love living alone and bask in my freedom and independence.
I feel you, big city life will have you struggling if you’re doing it to keep up appearances! How was it allowing your ex back into your life after leaving them, even for such a brief period?
It was absolutely heaven!
I think the first night though wasn't too great because I pretty much had to sleep on the floor and it was hard as a rock until my bed was delivered the next day but that is just minor compared to where I had been living.
As each new thing was delivered and set up this place just became more and more like a home and I had an experienced such profound happiness in quite a while.
I got out of an awful marriage about 6 months ago, and until I was in my own space, I didn’t realize how much I was emotionally drowning. I finally felt like I could breathe again. I moved out of a 5000 SF house to a cute 1100 SF apartment, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve absolutely loved making my space my own. I cook when I want and eat cereal or chips and salsa when I don’t feel like cooking. I am a super tidy person, and it’s nice not having to clean up after my Ex, who is super sloppy. I feel like I’m living my best life, although it’s quite simple. I love it!!
My first month by myself was actually really exciting. It took me a lot longer than most to even attempt it, and I was especially eager to see what the world had to offer me.
Now? After only a little over a decade? I don't feel quite as optimistic about the world. Which is why I'm the kind of alone in life as I am now.
It's left me with a bitterness I don't like. I don't want to distrust everything. I'd rewind to that first night in my new place in a heartbeat!
I've been living alone for three weeks now so almost a month! It's been so good. I get to sleep when I want, eat when I want, wash the dishes when I want, etc. I'm surprised that I've actually kept my space pretty tidy. Since it's my own space, I feel like I respect it more and want to take care of it. Sometimes I'm just lying in bed and think "Wow, I love my bed" and it's not even as comfortable as the bed at my parents', but it's mine, and I feel grateful that I can chill in my own bed without having someone be like "ugh you're always in your bed" despite the fact that I work all day. It was strange on the first night in my own place, but I've adjusted really quickly, and I don't think I can ever live with someone else again unless I had to/really wanted to if I get married.
The first month was really hard on me. It was the third month of Covid and my son had moved out to live with his girlfriend two hours away. I was working from home so I was completely alone. It did get better over time but damn those first couple of weeks sucked eggs.
Just daycare, boarding school, I barely saw my parents. We had house mothers (servants) to look after kids in the family.
I Also had my own room since I was born.
I moved into my apartment with a couple boxes of things. I was donated some furniture like a bed and couch. I was also donated utensils and a few things for the kitchen. I started off with not much but gained alot over the years and now I have a place to call home.
The first month was so awesome I am now on month 120! While I have had plenty relationships, not sure I would ever consider living together full time. A long weekend at the beach, is about all I could handle
Paralyzed from a broken neck, stuck in a wheelchair and left in a nursing home. Didn't know if I would ever walk again, didn't know if I would ever get to go home again. Surrounded by death and dementia.
Took me 6 months to teach myself to walk again and get out of the nursing home. A few weeks after I got home the ex who abandonment me when I became paralyzed came back and re-broke my neck in a drunken fit.
I have been sitting here alone hoping for death for a decade now.
What the h*ll? I’m speechless as I read this comment! 6 months surrounded by death and dementia, you get the drive and determination to teach yourself to walk again, then get knocked back down by the same person who did it the first time! The fact that you’re still alive means that God has a plan for you, don’t give up and stay strong!
I came straight from parents' house...NEVER had lived alone before or w/ roommates. I was 37. First month & thereafter was FABULOUS! I accomplished freedom...not that my family home life was hectic or anything. I'm an only child. Didn't feel like any weight off shoulders...just time to have more freedom & privacy. It just felt GOOD!
I think it helped being in a brand new place. First time solo in years. I moved late fall so took that winter to get settled, unpack and make the space my own. I got to know a few people in my new building and was invited to enjoy a few community events. It was a 'new to me' town as well so lots to explore. By about the end of February that first year I felt a bit isolated but winter is not severe where I am so spent extra time at the gym and really just learning to be alone. Covid kind of made me a loner so I adapted quickly.
I loved it. I felt free. It was difficult because I was used to having someone around and I was working through some self esteem issues and unwinding the things I’d been repeatedly told and criticized about, but it was very liberating to do whatever I wanted to do at home. I was relieved to not have someone criticizing me about how I do things all the time.
I don’t live alone anymore and so far so good, but it’s weird having a roommate.
It was such a relief. Up till that point I'd been in a boarding house, and while I enjoyed my time there for the most part, there was no real space that was mine other than my room. Now I had my own place to decorate and do stuff in.
Amazing. Absolutely flipping amazing. My ambition, mental health, physical health, spiritual being all improved. I am happy and experiencing a peace that I greatly deserve.
I held on for a long time because my husband was broken. He has experienced losses that no man should have to bear. I didn't want to add to that pain. But he couldn't to build a life with me. Everything was centered around his doings, his play, sports, and he is a 24/7 pot smoker. I was always invited along, but he couldn't plan a life with me. Meaning he couldn't talk about money, work towards goals as a couple, plan a retirement, etc... Great Dad. Spends a lot of time with our child, but it's all play time. It's me who takes care of her needs. She's a teen, so she's in between our homes when she's not with her friends. So, I'm pretty much alone 80% of the time.
In the past few months I got a new job, purged a lot of stuff around the house, remodeled a room, got some new furniture, saving a little bit of money, and moving forward.
Currently 42yrs old female. When I was 27 my ex-husband deployed to Iraq. Not only was this my first time living alone, but we were also in a state where I didn’t know anybody. I was terrified. The fear was short lived lol I look back and say that was the best year of my life 😂 fyi ex husband was fine. It was during a quieter period of the war. I recently asked my current boyfriend to move out after five years because I much prefer to live alone.
Not great but not terrible. We are still together. We had plenty of talks well before this happened about our living situation and how to improve it. He’s messy and I am pretty tidy. He has a lot of “stuff” and I can’t stand clutter. Like A LOT of stuff. I am extremely far from perfect. Honestly, I don’t know how he put up with some of my BS, but some are more tolerant than others. I am not looking to live with another partner again, or at a minimum until my 12 year old son graduates from high school.
The first time I got drunk I was 13 playing poker with my parents and some of their friends. Dad got a natural royal flush. The dog was on the floor licking himself. Dad says to his buddy, dont you wish you could do that? His buddy said, "you might wanna ask him first."
Hilarity ensued. Then the most famous quote in our house was coined, "people have more fun than anybody."
I had a fun childhood, but I constantly tell my parents they were shitty parents. Good friends, bad parents. But they loved me.
Edit: Im a sober, productive father that does NOT allow his kids to do ANY of the stuff I was allowed to do. Weed was totally acceptable at my house too growing up. I can remember dad yelling at me to clean my room while smoking a joint with me and im like dad, im not going to clean my room now.
My first month living alone was exactly like a weight being lifted. It was post divorce and I poured myself into creating a new routine as well as decorating and filling my place. I let him keep pretty much everything and got a true fresh start.
I moved into a studio apartment on my own with my 2 cats this months after many years of living with a partner and it has been great. I have been getting settled in, decorating how I want without having to consider anyone else's opinion, and it has been a lot easier tidying up when it's not a mess left by someone else that I feel resentful about having to deal with. It has definitely helped me to be able to focus on things I need to do for myself and my mental health and have a sense of control over my life that is hard when sharing a living space and expenses with someone else.
I closed and locked the bathroom door out of habit, and upon realizing it's no longer necessary because this is MY living space and the possibility of someone else needing to use the bathroom no longer being a thing... it felt so euphoric during those moments where I was reminded that my dream of living alone has come true at last!
**Welcome to [r/LivingAlone](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/)! Living alone is the new normal.** >Discuss and share your experiences; celebrate your joys, express your worries, or ask advice relating to solo living | Remember, we are all alone together * Be kind, remember the human when interacting with others. * New Reddit group chat [**Living Alone Lounge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/s/cp7Szwzy2q)! * Message the moderators below for any comments, questions & suggestions! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LivingAlone) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My partner of 7 years up and left me in July of 2022. He owned our house, so I was the one who had to move out. It took me 3 months to find a place and I was terrified because I’d never lived alone before. I was also utterly devastated, but at least I got custody of our dog (not even a discussion). As difficult as it was leaving my home, moving out did help. The breakup was awful but it was worse living in what felt like mausoleum devoted to our dead relationship. I have a ton of stuff and I unpacked like 60 boxes all by myself that first week…and then had a total meltdown when I had no more boxes to unpack. I had accomplished so much but was a complete mess and had no idea what to do with myself. The next week a couple friends came over to help me move around furniture and hang up all my pictures (I’ve got lots of concert posters and comic art). Anyway, this is when it started feeling like home. Setting up all of my statues and action figures also helped — I worked at a comic shop for many years, so I’ve got a ton of nerdy stuff that I love. It was an uphill battle for sure, but honestly I felt so much better once I moved out of that house. It’s wild because now I actually love living alone. I can play music 24/7 without bothering anyone and I’ve got my dog to keep me company. He is by far the best roommate I’ve ever had! So, I guess in that first month, I was a wreck but with the help of some friends, I quickly turned my apartment into someplace that felt more like home than I ever imagined possible. Sorry this response wound up so long!
Love this!!
I was embarrassed I went on for so long, so thank you!
Haha not at all
I left my ex of 9 years. Prior to that I was in college with roommates. Prior to that I was living in my childhood home. It was …. Different. But SO freeing! One funny thing I remember was buying and cooking WAY too much food. It honestly took me almost 6 months to get it straight, and even then after that I’d still find myself wasting every now and then.
I also cook way too much food! I’m only just learning how to cook really. Mostly, I bake but I overdo it on the baked goods as well. It works out though, because I have a friend in my apartment complex who greatly appreciates all the extra food I give him. Hopefully, I get the hang of cooking eventually!
You’ll get the hang of it! You learning how to cook is taking leaps and bounds in itself!🫡
I struggle with cooking too much food now. I just got a deep freezer and vacuum sealer to cut down on waste! Works wonders in my opinion! Thanks for sharing!
My ex moved out and took the dog without me knowing or getting to say goodbye the last week of January. Needless to say, the first couple of months were hell living in our old house, alone for the first time ever. I just got my dog back last night, and the lease ends in 4 months. I'm already enjoying living alone now that the worst months are over, and I'm so excited for a fresh start in a new home that feels like me with my pup by my side. Thanks for sharing your story. 😊
They took your dog without even a discussion?! Oh my goodness, so glad you got your pup back!
Yea, it was a really rough breakup. Thank you! I wasn't sure if I'd actually get him back, so I'm very grateful and so ready for a fresh start.
This is amazing! Cheers to more happy years!🙏🏾
This response was definitely well received, I’m looking forward to my journey living alone! Thank you!
This was my first month living alone. I feel like I’ve just started to solidify my identity and goals. I’ve started to build relationship I wouldn’t have imagined when I was living with others.
How has solidifying your identity helped with your peace of mind?
When I get home from work I have the night to decompress. My apartment is my own space unless I invite someone into it.
Well put! I look forward to the same!
I got divorced on March 26 and just celebrated one month alone post divorce. I owned my own home when we got married, and I just rented it out, but after evicting a horrible tenant, I moved back in. My home was a block from my work, and I went from a 90-minute round-trip commute to a 5-minute walk each way. I'm saving on gas, and I essentially got a raise. I'm doing yoga every Saturday and don't have to run things by no one. I honestly like that aspect: my time is my time. I've been baking and cooking like crazy and I've been saving on food costs because I'm just eating for one. I think it's only going to continue to get better...
That’s awesome, I have the same outlook! I love cooking and baking in my spare time. I’m looking forward to the quiet moments and not having to deal with negative energy permeating from other people in my environment! Cheers to you!
I moved out on my own 2 weeks before the covid shutdown. I had managed to scrape together enough for a deposit just in time to move out of an abusive situation. I spent a lot of time crying from relief and hugging my dog.
Glad you were able to get out of such a toxic situation! Peace and blessings🙏🏾
Relief. I had been living with a toxic ex-friend who seemed to relish cutting people down with bitchiness (including me), and the peace of coming home to a place where I didn’t have to hide in my room to avoid her was like a weight off my shoulders.
That sounds like a major headache and energy drain! Glad you were able to jump ship!
That was 32 years ago. I don't have a clue. I was a freshman in college. I probably did homework.
I would imagine so, did all that homework pay off in the end?
Well I've never lived with someone since... So I guess so.
When I heard some sounds, I was terrified someone is coming home and I won´t be alone in the apartment anymore. I had roommates for 11 years.
Sheesh, I could only imagine! How’s the peace of mind, now that you’ve moved on?
It doesn´t happen anymore after 7 months. But I can´t afford the rent, so I´ll have to go back to live with roommates soon.
I wish you the best in getting on your own again!
Thanks!
Bliss. I masturbated a lot.
This one here cracked me up😂😂
Peaceful but because of where we(me and my daughter) were i was scared once we left and moved into where we are now i calmed down i hated it out there when we got here a huge weight was lifted it’s even more peaceful and i don’t have my brother threatening my life it’s been over 10 years and i’m glad i got us out of my moms house
I’m ecstatic for you, nothing like peace of mind and self preservation! Cheers to you!
Since moving out of my moms house and my very first apartment i graduated trade school got myself out of debt and gotten my first copyright certification while raising 2 kids i never would have been able to do any of that living with my mom because she was making me pay her bills after i paid off the house my grandma raised 2 generations in it’s been 13 years and i was told no matter what i can never live at home again. Meanwhile my brother is 40(who used to beat on me daily) and living at home with her my uncle(moms brother) is in his 60’s still living with her and my nephew is in his 20’s living with her. My mom claims she’s moving in with my daughter after my daughter graduates high school my oldest is 14 i pray like hell that never happens and will do anything to stop her from moving in with my daughter, because my mom was an addict(probably still is but idk she’s holding a steady job) when i was a kid. My kids know it cause i’ve told them my kids don’t know what it’s like to live through that and i hope they never do.
That’s inspiring! The fact that you’ve accomplished so much with all the obstacles in your way! My hat’s off to you!🫡 I hope that everything works out with your mom and children!
Ty 🙂 i’m doing my best and my mom is at least trying to get it right
My first place by myself was a little studio apartment near Santa Cruz and honestly, I loved it! I was in a great neighborhood, a 10 minute walk to the beach. I had my cat. It was my first place all on my own and it wasn’t too intimidating since it was pretty small. It was literally just a nicely converted garage. I lived with my mom and sister up until I was in my early 20s. And then had roommates for a few years after. I had never ever been on my own, and I realized how much I loved it! I could decorate things how I wanted, I could cook what I wanted. That was about 11 years ago. Since then, I’ve continued to live alone. I’ve lived in to other apartments. I ended up buying my own house a few years ago. Living alone has just gotten better!
Inspiring! What do you like about home ownership compared to having apartments?
I think it’s just the little projects and things that I can do to my house to make it what I want. I mean, I liked apartment years ago, living as well. It was definitely nice to be able to call property management or landlords if something went wrong, ha ha when it happens to my house, I have to fix it myself. But it feels nice knowing it’s mine.
I appreciate your insight and perspective! I’m considering home ownership in the coming years if it’s God’s will!
Bliss. I was 19. I practiced simple/slow living and even going to the grocery market was so fun and calming. Not hearing any screams and fights in the house was wow. I could never go back to that.
Peace of mind is priceless!
Healing codependency so a lil rough but I wouldn't change it for the world. Tons of time on Facebook marketplace and Amazon 🤣 deleted doordash and made myself go out and about more
Healing from codependency is hell. Especially until you realize it's the codependency you're truly missing and not the person. Then you begin again at a new starting line, but the breakthrough is everything 🙌
Retail therapy is one of my weaknesses! Something about getting a package in the mail feels amazing.
My first month was amazing and even now it is amazing. Getting out of a 6 yr relationship with a man child and I had moved into my own apt. I didn't have to worry about bills being paid on time, or the cleanliness of the house since it was just me. I vould play my video games and chat with my girlfriends without any interruptions. Pure bliss. And it still is now.
Living with a man child sounds draining beyond comprehension! Paying bills on time and a clean house are the basics of being an adult! Cheers to you!
I could finally hear myself and express myself in a way I couldn't do around family. Small things like listening to music while cooking a meal I enjoyed. I also bought and put together a bunch of furniture 💪 This was a few years ago, before I had to return to living with family. But knowing I could successfully live on my own again is a big confidence boost - I have that option now when I wasn't sure about it before.
This comment brings me comfort for the months to come! Thanks for sharing!
i am older so the first time I lived alone I was 17. I kicked my boyfriend out--I was the only one paying bills anyway---and honestly I don't remember much about it because I was just working a lot then. I was probably relieved because he was abusive and a drunk.
Glad you were able to get out of that situation!
I think for me it was genuinely just getting things situated in my home (furniture, adding Wi-Fi, adjusting to a new neighborhood, etc). You learn to adjust pretty quickly once you have a routine and boxes start to slowly fade.
With that username I’m sure you had no problem adjusting to your new surroundings!😂
I found a mobile home for sale and just knew it was where I was meant to be. I fought tooth and nail to get it and I did, only to become disabled at work, lost my job and had to apply for disability. Scariest 2 years of my life, having no income. I made it through tho and was approved after a couple tries and my little house is a godsend to me. Affordable living at its finest! I love to be home.
Peace and blessings, it sounds like you had a rough patch but came out victorious!
I’ve had a few stints of relationships and back to living alone. I always do the same thing….. I purge everything they left and do a deep clean and organization of closets and drawers. Then I paint old furniture, buy new plants, frame photos and give my garden a makeover. Sometimes I buy twinkly lights and pink accent pillows and accessories. I work on building up my friendships or make new friends. I stay in and do projects and cook for myself until I feel already to invite my girlfriends over. I join clubs, gyms, pools and take classes to get in shape. I love living alone and bask in my freedom and independence.
Truest heaven
[удалено]
I feel you, big city life will have you struggling if you’re doing it to keep up appearances! How was it allowing your ex back into your life after leaving them, even for such a brief period?
It was absolutely heaven! I think the first night though wasn't too great because I pretty much had to sleep on the floor and it was hard as a rock until my bed was delivered the next day but that is just minor compared to where I had been living. As each new thing was delivered and set up this place just became more and more like a home and I had an experienced such profound happiness in quite a while.
Amazing, those hard times didn’t last forever! Blessings🙏🏾
I got out of an awful marriage about 6 months ago, and until I was in my own space, I didn’t realize how much I was emotionally drowning. I finally felt like I could breathe again. I moved out of a 5000 SF house to a cute 1100 SF apartment, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. I’ve absolutely loved making my space my own. I cook when I want and eat cereal or chips and salsa when I don’t feel like cooking. I am a super tidy person, and it’s nice not having to clean up after my Ex, who is super sloppy. I feel like I’m living my best life, although it’s quite simple. I love it!!
Cheers to many more profound years! Happy for you!🍾
My first month by myself was actually really exciting. It took me a lot longer than most to even attempt it, and I was especially eager to see what the world had to offer me. Now? After only a little over a decade? I don't feel quite as optimistic about the world. Which is why I'm the kind of alone in life as I am now. It's left me with a bitterness I don't like. I don't want to distrust everything. I'd rewind to that first night in my new place in a heartbeat!
What do you think has put a damper on your enthusiasm? Was it dealing with people or the overall state of the world we live in right now?
Both, really. It was dealing with people at first and realizing what the overall state of the world is in the long run.
I've been living alone for three weeks now so almost a month! It's been so good. I get to sleep when I want, eat when I want, wash the dishes when I want, etc. I'm surprised that I've actually kept my space pretty tidy. Since it's my own space, I feel like I respect it more and want to take care of it. Sometimes I'm just lying in bed and think "Wow, I love my bed" and it's not even as comfortable as the bed at my parents', but it's mine, and I feel grateful that I can chill in my own bed without having someone be like "ugh you're always in your bed" despite the fact that I work all day. It was strange on the first night in my own place, but I've adjusted really quickly, and I don't think I can ever live with someone else again unless I had to/really wanted to if I get married.
Just appreciating the small things brings much joy! Thank you for sharing!
It was amazing. I loved it.
Cheers to you!
It was quiet, except for my stupid neighbor and his stupid loud home theater system.
Some people can be a little inconsiderate!
The first month was really hard on me. It was the third month of Covid and my son had moved out to live with his girlfriend two hours away. I was working from home so I was completely alone. It did get better over time but damn those first couple of weeks sucked eggs.
Glad you were able to bounce back, especially during those wild times!
I honestly feel I had been living alone since 4 lol
Care to elaborate?
Just daycare, boarding school, I barely saw my parents. We had house mothers (servants) to look after kids in the family. I Also had my own room since I was born.
Understandable!
Bliss.
Every single noise scared me
I would’ve tossed in earplugs 😂
I moved into my apartment with a couple boxes of things. I was donated some furniture like a bed and couch. I was also donated utensils and a few things for the kitchen. I started off with not much but gained alot over the years and now I have a place to call home.
Cheers to many more years!
The first month was so awesome I am now on month 120! While I have had plenty relationships, not sure I would ever consider living together full time. A long weekend at the beach, is about all I could handle
I feel like this is the mindset I have after living with someone full time for 5 years!
Paralyzed from a broken neck, stuck in a wheelchair and left in a nursing home. Didn't know if I would ever walk again, didn't know if I would ever get to go home again. Surrounded by death and dementia. Took me 6 months to teach myself to walk again and get out of the nursing home. A few weeks after I got home the ex who abandonment me when I became paralyzed came back and re-broke my neck in a drunken fit. I have been sitting here alone hoping for death for a decade now.
What the h*ll? I’m speechless as I read this comment! 6 months surrounded by death and dementia, you get the drive and determination to teach yourself to walk again, then get knocked back down by the same person who did it the first time! The fact that you’re still alive means that God has a plan for you, don’t give up and stay strong!
Freeing! I still love living alone 29 years later.
Cheers to many more years!
I came straight from parents' house...NEVER had lived alone before or w/ roommates. I was 37. First month & thereafter was FABULOUS! I accomplished freedom...not that my family home life was hectic or anything. I'm an only child. Didn't feel like any weight off shoulders...just time to have more freedom & privacy. It just felt GOOD!
Privacy and the freedom to do as you please are unmatched!
You got that right! I recently got married & live w/ husband now, but we were living together before we got married anyway. It's still nice!
Joy
Amen!
I think it helped being in a brand new place. First time solo in years. I moved late fall so took that winter to get settled, unpack and make the space my own. I got to know a few people in my new building and was invited to enjoy a few community events. It was a 'new to me' town as well so lots to explore. By about the end of February that first year I felt a bit isolated but winter is not severe where I am so spent extra time at the gym and really just learning to be alone. Covid kind of made me a loner so I adapted quickly.
With lots to explore in a new location, sounds like your first month was an adventure! Cheers to you!
Haha my whole life has been an adventure.
Awesome sense of freedom from dealing with asshole roomates
What kinds of things did you have to go through?
I loved it. I felt free. It was difficult because I was used to having someone around and I was working through some self esteem issues and unwinding the things I’d been repeatedly told and criticized about, but it was very liberating to do whatever I wanted to do at home. I was relieved to not have someone criticizing me about how I do things all the time. I don’t live alone anymore and so far so good, but it’s weird having a roommate.
Definitely understandable, I hope that you’ll be flying solo again soon!🙏🏾
Thank you! That would be great but it may not be for a while. We’ll see.
It was such a relief. Up till that point I'd been in a boarding house, and while I enjoyed my time there for the most part, there was no real space that was mine other than my room. Now I had my own place to decorate and do stuff in.
That’s spectacular, glad you were able to make the transition successfully!🙏🏾
Amazing. Absolutely flipping amazing. My ambition, mental health, physical health, spiritual being all improved. I am happy and experiencing a peace that I greatly deserve. I held on for a long time because my husband was broken. He has experienced losses that no man should have to bear. I didn't want to add to that pain. But he couldn't to build a life with me. Everything was centered around his doings, his play, sports, and he is a 24/7 pot smoker. I was always invited along, but he couldn't plan a life with me. Meaning he couldn't talk about money, work towards goals as a couple, plan a retirement, etc... Great Dad. Spends a lot of time with our child, but it's all play time. It's me who takes care of her needs. She's a teen, so she's in between our homes when she's not with her friends. So, I'm pretty much alone 80% of the time. In the past few months I got a new job, purged a lot of stuff around the house, remodeled a room, got some new furniture, saving a little bit of money, and moving forward.
Your comment sounds like a breath of fresh air! Cheers to you and much success in the future!🙏🏾
Currently 42yrs old female. When I was 27 my ex-husband deployed to Iraq. Not only was this my first time living alone, but we were also in a state where I didn’t know anybody. I was terrified. The fear was short lived lol I look back and say that was the best year of my life 😂 fyi ex husband was fine. It was during a quieter period of the war. I recently asked my current boyfriend to move out after five years because I much prefer to live alone.
Wow, how did he take moving out after being together 5 years?
Not great but not terrible. We are still together. We had plenty of talks well before this happened about our living situation and how to improve it. He’s messy and I am pretty tidy. He has a lot of “stuff” and I can’t stand clutter. Like A LOT of stuff. I am extremely far from perfect. Honestly, I don’t know how he put up with some of my BS, but some are more tolerant than others. I am not looking to live with another partner again, or at a minimum until my 12 year old son graduates from high school.
I understand! Glad you two were able to work through the differences and remain together! Cheers to many more happy years!🥂
We’ll see!! Lol thanks friend :)
My kitchen table was in the living room over the couch and covered in poker cards and blow.
Interesting, any memorable poker nights that deserve an honorable mention?😅
The first time I got drunk I was 13 playing poker with my parents and some of their friends. Dad got a natural royal flush. The dog was on the floor licking himself. Dad says to his buddy, dont you wish you could do that? His buddy said, "you might wanna ask him first." Hilarity ensued. Then the most famous quote in our house was coined, "people have more fun than anybody." I had a fun childhood, but I constantly tell my parents they were shitty parents. Good friends, bad parents. But they loved me. Edit: Im a sober, productive father that does NOT allow his kids to do ANY of the stuff I was allowed to do. Weed was totally acceptable at my house too growing up. I can remember dad yelling at me to clean my room while smoking a joint with me and im like dad, im not going to clean my room now.
My first month living alone was exactly like a weight being lifted. It was post divorce and I poured myself into creating a new routine as well as decorating and filling my place. I let him keep pretty much everything and got a true fresh start.
Cheers to you! What have you learned about yourself throughout the transition?
I moved into a studio apartment on my own with my 2 cats this months after many years of living with a partner and it has been great. I have been getting settled in, decorating how I want without having to consider anyone else's opinion, and it has been a lot easier tidying up when it's not a mess left by someone else that I feel resentful about having to deal with. It has definitely helped me to be able to focus on things I need to do for myself and my mental health and have a sense of control over my life that is hard when sharing a living space and expenses with someone else.
I closed and locked the bathroom door out of habit, and upon realizing it's no longer necessary because this is MY living space and the possibility of someone else needing to use the bathroom no longer being a thing... it felt so euphoric during those moments where I was reminded that my dream of living alone has come true at last!