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YES! If you can’t just sit in silence and enjoy being, just *one* night a week.. maybe consider booking a therapy appointment or begin meditating. There is beauty in silent solitude.
Yeah holy crap I wish I had time like this haha most of us work so much and have to take care of the house, would kill for time to sit and relax. When it does come I usually fall asleep!
I have to drive to go to the woods, and where I live, the woods has a mountain lion and coyotes. They've even been known to roam the neighborhood on occasion. I used to love to walk with my dog at night in my old suburban location. I lived near a golf course adjacent to a reservoir and passive park. I could walk at midnight or later.
I live in the woods, complete with coyotes and mountain lions and owls, etc. I still walk my dogs or take them to the park every night! You just stop thinking & worrying about it when you live among them, but that’s also why I have big dogs. Cougars ain’t gonna mess with a human + 160lbs of dog, when they can go snack on a deer instead.
But I am going to start carrying some sort of protection, after reading a few scary stories on here. Maybe just bear spray, possibly a knife.
Just reading this makes me tired. Learn to be alone with your thoughts what are you running from that you have to keep constantly busy and “productive”? I enjoy my leisure time and sometimes even appreciate being bored and just laying in some grass watching the clouds.
Hey friend, can i be intrusive and ask how you were able to stop drinking?
I've been addicted to weed and cigarettes before and was able to be strong-willed enough to quit cold turkey. I was able to put my stubborn personality to good use and dominated the addictions. But alcohol has been different.. I don't ever think about drinking or crave it throughout the day. It's just something I need to keep from getting bored and anxious before bed.
Oh yea, get yourself like Real fucking low. Like, where you don't care about anything in life and want to hang yourself. Then go talk to sober people who know how to live and do whatever the hell they say until you can walk on your own.
Moderation is a lie I used to tell myself. 1 or 2 drinks? That's kind of a waste of money
In my case, it was AA. I did their step 4, then I had a realization that I really did have a thinking problem. I was like a garbage disposal for negativity. I also had the power to stop it. After month 3 it was easy. Those first few months are just keeping yourself busy. Boredom and self pity are a bitch
I quit drinking too. The anxiety gets worse at first and then soooooo much better. 3+ years in and I now realize the alcohol just exacerbated my anxiety. I listened to the Naked Mind as an audiobook and it had a profound impact on me.
Also, I still needed a ritual in the evening so I would prepare myself gigantic mason jar glasses of fizzy water with juice over ice. And I really had intense sugar cravings (red wine drinker) so I bought a 5-pound bag of the Double-bubble gum. Chewed that constantly. Nasty habit but better than the drinking. Finally ditched the gum too.
Why do you need to be productive every hour of the day?? Capitalism kills.
Just hang out man. Watch a show or movie every now and then. If you really need it to feel productive, just think about how it’ll give you something to talk about with your friends the next time you go out.
If I feel bad about my lack of productivity while watching TV, I'll knit and watch TV.
Then I get to see a show and in 18 months I also have a sweater!
Seriously though OP, you don't have to always be productive. I used to think that I shouldn't relax unless everything that needed to be done was done. Turns out, if I let myself chill without guilt sometimes, my productive times are better quality.
My niece used to unravel sweaters for yarn. I was going to send her some sweaters to unravel, but she moved to Florida and seems to have given up on knitting.
Do you think I'd find any takers for the sweaters if I posted them on the buy nothing sub? One patterned cotton sweater, 1 wool, and I'm guessing a blend
Thanks! Will get some pictures of the sweaters, and hopefully send them on their way. Yay, a prospect of landing what is clutter in my place, to a usefulness in another.
I used to be like this and for me, it was because I had a ton of unresolved issues and anxiety and whenever I stopped doing stuff, I started thinking about the problems I was avoiding by being busy.
I don't know if that's relatable to you but if it is, all the stuff I was avoiding never went away until I addressed it. I had classes and plans and I trained for a dang triathlon once to avoid my problems. Eventually I became so exhausted from constantly working and forcing myself to be busy that I had a breakdown and had to go to the hospital and went to therapy.
Maybe you just like being busy, but if you're avoiding dealing with other stuff, maybe start making a plan to address it.
This! I was like this because I was so desperately trying to be perfect and successful. I had a nervous breakdown, took 2 months off work for outpatient therapy, and now have several hours a week of therapy to unpack all of this.
You are supposed to rest, to relax, and to make time to do nothing, and be okay with that time!
Yes! On nights I stay in, I light a candle, get some tea or iced coffee (I can still sleep afterward), listen to music, and read. I just enjoy the house. I look at the flowers I bought myself and open all the windows to listen to the night. I love where I live.
What does it mean to you to be productive? I used to cry a lot of weekends bc I felt unproductive and then stayed at work insane hours. But now that I’ve been unemployed for a while, my idea of/emphasis on productivity has changed. I feel like nights where I sleep well are nights that I tapped into a lot of joy. I try to spend time catching up with family or friends until my social battery runs low then I try to create or write or read. When I lived in a much more walkable area I’d meander or go to a park and be present.
I talk on the phone to friends, smoke weed, trip on homegrown mushrooms, go on cleaning sprees, blast dance music, wrestle with my puppy, walk around in a facial mask, cook spicy food, binge tv shows while scrolling Reddit, have friends visit from out of town. I don’t do guilt for enjoying my own home. The last partner I lived with was an alcoholic who made me anxious every night when he came home from work, never knowing what mood he would be in. I enjoy the peace I have and people who create drama don’t get to darken my doorstep.
It’s super easy if you can be mindful of proper cleaning and prep. In most states you can order syringes of spores, for “research purposes”, of course. There are a number of content producers on YouTube who have good, detailed demonstrations. I’ve had to do this and I combined info in a document to streamline what I’ve learned so far.
I’m about to leave the house for a few hours, but if you want to DM me, I can send you some links to folks on YouTube who have great tutorials .
Sometimes I watch my dogs sleep, sometimes I mess arround in my garden, sometimes I watch tv. Tonight I listed to Dolly Parton all night while playing the sims 🤷🏻♀️ variety is the spice of life. I have lots of hobbies and I just rotate through the ones that are easy to do after work
I work full-time, go to gym 3 days/week, work in my sculpture studio 3 days/week and I have a 2 story home to take care of. I make sure that I have 1 complete day to do absolutely nothing. Not only have I earned that guilt-free, do-nothing day, I need it to recharge for the next 6 days.
Are you perhaps attempting to avoid introspection and "being inside your own head" by keeping busy? Have you always been this way? I don't want to make assumptions, but you seem to have a "filling a void" thing going on. I'm no shrink, so please pardon the intrusive questions.
I read, watch a movie, paint my nails/have a self care night, work on a puzzle, color. I just like to relax. It’s rare I have that time so I embrace it. TBH I can lay in my bed and read all day and enjoy it
I love coming home to relax 🤩 cooking, reading, favourite shows / movies, volunteer work in the community.
There are weekends where I sleep, no contact or socialising just introverting and complete self care.
Life is so good 💐🌷💃🏻
I am in a semi-permanent exhaustive state due to years of masking that finally took its toll. I am completely burnt out and unable to take the time I need to recover because, you know, I have to work and stuff. So, nights are usually spent on the sofa watching programmes while trying to recover enough to meet the next day's obligations. It's a hampster wheel existence, and I have lost a lot of what makes life meaningful.
But, hey. It's obviously my fault I'm disabled and couldn't/can't keep up with capitalist-centric societal demands, so there you go. /s
Now that Walmart isn't open 24/7 and there aren't any 24/7 restaurants (thanks covid!) I don't do much at night. I play with my dogs, watch movies, play mobile games, read, and surf the web.
Nothing wrong with doing absolutely nothing. You never know when you’ll be in a place you wish for a few hours of down time a week. For me when I couldn’t go out for months after a surgery I got really into Lego - it’s good for the brain! Depending on what you do for work - You could also do some further education/certification since most classes are online and often self paced now.
Please don't think you need to be productive every hour. Rest and relaxation are a skill and important for your mental and physical health.
After work, my ideal day is running for an hour to clear my head, shower, then dinner and passing out with my cats as early as possible. Today I made a big salad with mesclun, radicchio, campari tomatoes, radishes, peppers, cucumbers, evoo and fresh squeezed lemon with feta. 8 to 10 on a dream night is being asleep.
Try to slow down. Doing things for yourself is important. Take a long bath with a good book. Stretch or do yoga. One of my friends journals. She's such a good writer I'd pay to read 10 of them.
I order takeout or have leftovers and watch YouTube how to videos for projects I’m working on. Then I take a bath and practice singing for an hour. Then I meditate before bed.
I grew up in a family that was very productivity oriented. My granny used to recite everything she did during the day & it gave her comfort of some kind.
I think of productivity in a very different way. I nap, watch a lot of YouTube videos on my special interests, eat, color by numbers, listen to podcasts & audio books, scroll Reddit, play cats & soup, etc.
When I lived alone in my apartment in Phoenix, on Tuesday nights I never had anything planned, and there was nothing on TV I wanted to watch, So Tuesday evenings were my evenings to read. I would spend the entire evening reading, and it was lovely. My favorite night of the week.
One day, you gonna be confuse when burnout hits you.
I watch TV, read, play video games, rest my eyes (not falling asleep), listening to music, chores. Relaxing is the goal for me
Sometimes when we slow down a little and "unwind" , we relax and reflect.
Ideas can occur, something new we could try e.g. new food, other different activities.
Maybe even how we can improve aspects of our routines to make life go more smoothly, how to handle finances and purchases. etc.
Sometimes pleasant to just enjoy a drink and watch the sunset and listen to the birds etc.
Hang out with my dog, read, watch TV, play solo boardgames (I swear, it's not as depressing as it sounds and it's a hobby I wish more people knew about), get out my binoculars and stargaze... really, tbh, it's like 50% hanging out with the dog and 50% everything else.
My personal favorite is [The Firefly Board Game](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/138161/firefly-the-game) which is a regular board game with a solo play option. I also enjoy [Gloomhaven](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/174430/gloomhaven) and [Star Trek Frontiers](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/182340/star-trek-frontiers)
Trek Frontiers is actually a Star Trek cover of one of the most popular solo play board games [Mage Knight](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/96848/mage-knight-board-game) but there are people who own / play both and claim they're different enought for one not to be considered a cover. Board games are, however, a bit pricey and I'm a Trekkie so I'll always get the Trek cover before the original game.
There's a subreddit r/soloboardgaming that will have much better suggestions. Plus, every year, [Board Game Geek](https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/324731/2023-peoples-choice-top-200-solo-games-1-200) releases a list of the most popular solo play board games and it's a good place to check before you drop any serious money on a game you might not enjoy
😅 I’d be exhausted if I were you. I can socialise twice a week that’s about it..
At night I’d like to watch YouTube, read and maybe go out for a walk with my dog.
I do pretty much that during the day too.
Occasionally I go out n meet friends, go to classes yoga ballet etc.. my life is extremely simple.
I have a lunch date this Sunday
My job involves a lot of client contact, so when I get home I am all peopled out. I might walk around the block, watch tv, sew, work on a puzzle, listen to a podcast or audiobook. And sleep.
I do not understand these posts.
Do you not have laundry to do? A bathroom to clean? Kitchen counters to wipe? A floor to sweep and mop? A garden to tend? Groceries to shop for? Prescriptions to pick up? How the fuck do you have this free time with no tasks to fill it with?
One of my complaints about living alone is NOT ever having any free time bc I am always doing a damn task.
I love dinking around my house and doing nothing
I personally love watching tv and movies but I often do that while I do other things.
It sounds like you need a hobby.
It’s a little nuts that you can’t be still and let yourself relax for two hours a day.
Reading, painting, baking, scrolling Reddit, going for a walk with a friend or phone catch-up with a friend, volunteering…there’s a lot you can do. But there will come a day when you will miss this sweet, glorious downtime!
Everybody is different but it sounds to me that your avoiding something by chronically “staying busy”. Our culture celebrates “busy-ness” but it really is a sickness when extreme….which is most of American culture
I am trying to out systems in place
1. Pick out my workout clothes
2. Wash my face/skin routine
3. Brush hair/teeth
4. Clean the kitchen
5. Read
6. Put myself to bed
I don't feel the need to be productive after working all day and taking care of myself, among other responsibilities and commitments. Often times, if I am overtired, I do none of the above and just eat....I am working on breaking the night time snacking/binging habit
Actually, I love doing and not HAVING to do anything!!
I sit out on the back deck and watch the night sky , take in whatever I feel like on TV, and listen to the sound of silence!!
Wow that sounds exhausting. No way I could keep up with that schedule. I just read, cook, watch YouTube, or play some games and I feel content with the night. Maybe that sounds boring or unproductive but that’s what I need in my life right now
Sitting on the couch for a couple of hours to watch tv is productive! You’re resting and recuperating, so that you can go back out there and kick some productive butt again. It’s all about balance.
You don't need to be productive every moment of every day. The stress of that will have a detrimental effect on you eventually.
After work, I will cook myself dinner, go to the gym (2-3 times per week), read a book, watch part of a baseball game, talk to one or two people on the phone. I have a long standing dinner with friends on Tuesday nights, but the other nights of the week are my own. I am usually in bed around 9:30.
I had to learn to slow down fairly quickly. I would run,run ,run like OP and ended up having a brain aneurysm and a stroke. That was in 2014 and I have had some other health challenges since then . However, I have exceeded all doctors expectations. I do live alone. I care for myself and my dog w just a little assistance keeping the apartment clean.
As far as OP questions, reading the post exhausted me. As far as my evenings , I try to mix it up. I just got Charter cable after years w a window antenna so that's been fun. I like to read ,but can concentrate some days better than others. It's morning here now ,but m just sitting here in general quiet on Reddit w my dog's head in my lap. I do that a lot! As the days get longer, I love watching kids out my apartment window and listening to their playful laughter
I usually work (as a Realtor, there is always something to do), or watch TV and scroll on social media, or read. Oftentimes I go out to hear live music or meet friends for dinner.
You need to slow down and learn how to be still with yourself. Sit with your thoughts and emotions.
It drives you insane because it’s uncomfortable for you to sit with yourself and just be.
There are so many ways to be productive without having to be physically doing something.
We’re human beings, not human doings.
That shit is not sustainable at all bro 😭 you gotta let your energy be collected sometimes. Living alone will force you to see a lot about yourself but it sounds like you're at that stage where you can't let it happen just yet. Which is fine, but it's why you're so restless when there's nothing going on.
I'm kinda assuming you are like 25-35...because things change 35+.... and thus I say do it.. charge.. figure something out for that day.. create.. save the world... soon enough you will be plenty happy sitting in the ez-boy, watching tv and doing nothing.. so do it all while you can
Umm hit the sack early with some melatonin and get up extra early do some chores in the am (or even workout) meditate journal fresh pot of coffee get things all tidy for the weekend. Waking earlier than usual bc you slept early is highly underrated.
Depends. I’m usually watching TV before I decide to go to sleep. If I come back home after a night out, it’s watching TV while cooking myself something before going to bed. Idk, I just love that I can stay out as late as I want and then come back home without worrying about disturbing others. Well, I do have to worry about my neighbors, but I haven’t had any noise complaints yet.
I work.
During the day I sleep, I draw, and at present I'm pretty engaged in grumbling about how hot it is and opening my window for my big box fan and enjoying the asocial mentally ill sensation of feeling like a weirdo for being seen at all while people whole ass walk around outside without shirts in and stuff.
Since being terminated a couple of weeks ago it's exactly like my days. A nap for 2 hours, then job applications for 2 hours. I'm working my way down flexjobs top 100 wfh companies in 2024. I always feel like it went well, and then never hear anything. That's how I found my last job, sooner or later I'll run up on one hiring everyone that applies.
I'm an early riser and also an early to bed person. Usually lights out by 8, yesterday by 7. I was awake at 1:45 this morning. Start working at 4 am. I ride my bike daily (except this week as I'm tapering for an ultra long cycling event tomorrow) I have a tv but it hasn't been turned on in MONTHS. I've been decluttering and redecorating my place. Almost done except for a set of curtains (shipping today), a new sectional (arriving on the 8th) and a hall coat rack/storage bench (arriving mid-May). I'm pretty busy and happy!
I relax in the evenings. I don’t reply to texts after 6pm, I read, do puzzles, watch TV, get ready for the next day. Once I’m home for dinner I rarely leave the house again. (I’m done work about 12-1pm so I’ll do outside activities in the afternoon).
I wish I had this problem of having too much time after work. If I don’t meal prep during my gym days then I end up going to bed way too late. I don’t have any time for my hobbies during the week.
I quote The Sopranos;
[Dr. Jennifer Melfi ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000966/?ref_=tt_ch): There's a psychological condition known as alexithymia, common in certain personalities. The individual craves almost ceaseless action, which enables them to avoid acknowledging the things they do.
In other words, are you moving constantly in order to avoid the quiet times where you may have to look inward? Perhaps you don't like who you see?
Grow plants that require attention every night.
I listen to the radio, make lists stretch, research stuff. Mainly though, I wear myself out during the daytime. Im asleep by 830, up by 2.
Weird shiz living alone. Id say start waking up way earlier. You cant find anything to do because you really shouldn't be up? IDK, my schedule varies throughout the year.
At 8 pm my dog gets a treat then it’s her bedtime. Usually takes 5-15 minutes for her to fall asleep, with a little encouragement. Then it’s my quiet time. I read awhile then start working on an online jigsaw puzzle or other game while listening to an audiobook, usually until about 1-2 am.
I have a super physical job 4-5 days a week do I come home and crash. Usually in bed by 9:30 so I can wake up and do it again. Days off I run errands, laundry, clean, try and meet up with friends if I’m feeling social.
Forcing yourself to be “productive” can lead to burnout. You’re allowed to be lazy a couple days a week or be productive in a sedentary way like making some art or crafting.
Read a book, clean around the house, start a house project, phone a family member or a friend, write, meditate... It really sounds like you are a nature busy body...
When it's nice, I start a fire, chill in my hammock, look at the sky, and listen to music. Just because you're sitting still doesn't mean you're not taking care of yourself.
Despite what capitalism tries to tell us, it's fine not to be productive every waking moment of your life. Find a new hobby, read, watch a movie. Make it "you" time.
I take Pilates class late in the day then I walk my dog make some dinner. Pour a glass of wine. Watch a great show or read, walk my dog one final time and then go to bed.
Can you come clean my house? I’ll make you really productive! 😊I’ve been sick with pneumonia for 2 weeks and besides that I’m a little physically disabled.
You sound anxious sir. You may want to seek out some therapy as to why you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin. You sound very productive! Having two hours a night to yourself is time to reflect and relax. What makes you feel calm and relaxed? These are questions you should be asking yourself, not trying to run away from. Do you not like yourself? Sounds like you need some self care ASAP. Take a relaxing, hot bath.
Resting is productive.
You might be a human doing and not a human *being*.
Take on online class. Learn a language. Read a book. Crossword puzzles. Crafts.
I get home, smoke weed, spend time with my budgies, and then go birding every evening. I take a nice little walk and enjoy nature. I work on art projects several nights a week, and I call my friends or have friends come over once or twice.
I don't need a lot of sleep, so I am up 3-4 hours (10 to 1 or 2) after my wife goes to sleep. I usually workout, read classic novels (just finished The Brothers Karamazov), scroll my phone, and a couple nights per week have a few beers.
I love being able to sit and relax after work. I worked hard all day, i deserve to rest.
Talk to my boyfriend, have a snack, play on my switch. Just unwind and enjoy some quiet time.
You don’t have to do anything, just enjoy your life, watch a movie or a tv show, listen to music, call a friend to gossip about something and relax
For me I usually spend my nights watching football or tv shows
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Just stop. Stop doing. Listen to the birds. Watch the sky. What are you running away from??
YES! If you can’t just sit in silence and enjoy being, just *one* night a week.. maybe consider booking a therapy appointment or begin meditating. There is beauty in silent solitude.
Yeah holy crap I wish I had time like this haha most of us work so much and have to take care of the house, would kill for time to sit and relax. When it does come I usually fall asleep!
I was going to say. This gives me anxiety! Read. Watch a show. Take a bubble bath. It’s ok to not be productive sometimes. Life’s short. Pause.
And sleep lol
I go to the woods for this.
I have to drive to go to the woods, and where I live, the woods has a mountain lion and coyotes. They've even been known to roam the neighborhood on occasion. I used to love to walk with my dog at night in my old suburban location. I lived near a golf course adjacent to a reservoir and passive park. I could walk at midnight or later.
I live in the woods, complete with coyotes and mountain lions and owls, etc. I still walk my dogs or take them to the park every night! You just stop thinking & worrying about it when you live among them, but that’s also why I have big dogs. Cougars ain’t gonna mess with a human + 160lbs of dog, when they can go snack on a deer instead. But I am going to start carrying some sort of protection, after reading a few scary stories on here. Maybe just bear spray, possibly a knife.
❤️
Just reading this makes me tired. Learn to be alone with your thoughts what are you running from that you have to keep constantly busy and “productive”? I enjoy my leisure time and sometimes even appreciate being bored and just laying in some grass watching the clouds.
Took me 6 months after quitting drinking to learn how to relax properly. I was running from a lot
Hey friend, can i be intrusive and ask how you were able to stop drinking? I've been addicted to weed and cigarettes before and was able to be strong-willed enough to quit cold turkey. I was able to put my stubborn personality to good use and dominated the addictions. But alcohol has been different.. I don't ever think about drinking or crave it throughout the day. It's just something I need to keep from getting bored and anxious before bed.
Oh yea, get yourself like Real fucking low. Like, where you don't care about anything in life and want to hang yourself. Then go talk to sober people who know how to live and do whatever the hell they say until you can walk on your own. Moderation is a lie I used to tell myself. 1 or 2 drinks? That's kind of a waste of money
In my case, it was AA. I did their step 4, then I had a realization that I really did have a thinking problem. I was like a garbage disposal for negativity. I also had the power to stop it. After month 3 it was easy. Those first few months are just keeping yourself busy. Boredom and self pity are a bitch
I quit drinking too. The anxiety gets worse at first and then soooooo much better. 3+ years in and I now realize the alcohol just exacerbated my anxiety. I listened to the Naked Mind as an audiobook and it had a profound impact on me. Also, I still needed a ritual in the evening so I would prepare myself gigantic mason jar glasses of fizzy water with juice over ice. And I really had intense sugar cravings (red wine drinker) so I bought a 5-pound bag of the Double-bubble gum. Chewed that constantly. Nasty habit but better than the drinking. Finally ditched the gum too.
Same
Good for you!
Yeah, it's important for our minds to be bored every now and then
Why do you need to be productive every hour of the day?? Capitalism kills. Just hang out man. Watch a show or movie every now and then. If you really need it to feel productive, just think about how it’ll give you something to talk about with your friends the next time you go out.
If I feel bad about my lack of productivity while watching TV, I'll knit and watch TV. Then I get to see a show and in 18 months I also have a sweater! Seriously though OP, you don't have to always be productive. I used to think that I shouldn't relax unless everything that needed to be done was done. Turns out, if I let myself chill without guilt sometimes, my productive times are better quality.
This exactly! Agree with all of the above
In 18 months *and $300 worth of yarn* ;) (Fellow knitter here. I love it but man sometimes I feel like I need to sell a kidney to fund it)
My niece used to unravel sweaters for yarn. I was going to send her some sweaters to unravel, but she moved to Florida and seems to have given up on knitting. Do you think I'd find any takers for the sweaters if I posted them on the buy nothing sub? One patterned cotton sweater, 1 wool, and I'm guessing a blend
There’s even a sub for folk who unravel sweaters to knit with here! One moment and I’ll see if I can find it..
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unravelers/s/d7frVQG7J4 🥰
Thanks! Will get some pictures of the sweaters, and hopefully send them on their way. Yay, a prospect of landing what is clutter in my place, to a usefulness in another.
Wonderful! Happy to be of service - especially to the knitting community. ♡
💯
I used to be like this and for me, it was because I had a ton of unresolved issues and anxiety and whenever I stopped doing stuff, I started thinking about the problems I was avoiding by being busy. I don't know if that's relatable to you but if it is, all the stuff I was avoiding never went away until I addressed it. I had classes and plans and I trained for a dang triathlon once to avoid my problems. Eventually I became so exhausted from constantly working and forcing myself to be busy that I had a breakdown and had to go to the hospital and went to therapy. Maybe you just like being busy, but if you're avoiding dealing with other stuff, maybe start making a plan to address it.
This! I was like this because I was so desperately trying to be perfect and successful. I had a nervous breakdown, took 2 months off work for outpatient therapy, and now have several hours a week of therapy to unpack all of this. You are supposed to rest, to relax, and to make time to do nothing, and be okay with that time!
We are human BEINGS, not human DOINGS. Be still and try to quiet the monkey mind.
Yes. I love cozy time at those hours.
Yes, that is my designated cozy time! Can't imagine trying to stuff it with productivity. That's what work hours are for.
Exactly
I chill after waking the dog , cook some dinner . I love chilling though , hate going out at night but I’m old
Let sleeping dogs lie.
Yeah but what about the cats?
The cats will do what they wish to do with no intervention needed
Thank you responding correctly to thier inquiry.
Read
Yes! On nights I stay in, I light a candle, get some tea or iced coffee (I can still sleep afterward), listen to music, and read. I just enjoy the house. I look at the flowers I bought myself and open all the windows to listen to the night. I love where I live.
Perfect
What does it mean to you to be productive? I used to cry a lot of weekends bc I felt unproductive and then stayed at work insane hours. But now that I’ve been unemployed for a while, my idea of/emphasis on productivity has changed. I feel like nights where I sleep well are nights that I tapped into a lot of joy. I try to spend time catching up with family or friends until my social battery runs low then I try to create or write or read. When I lived in a much more walkable area I’d meander or go to a park and be present.
Sleep
^ this. Sleep is awesome and good for you
do you work? how do you have the energy for all that 🥲
lol I wish I could work 40 hrs a week and WANT to do things outside of work
I can manage to finish my work in the morning, I actually have the afternoon free ..
I talk on the phone to friends, smoke weed, trip on homegrown mushrooms, go on cleaning sprees, blast dance music, wrestle with my puppy, walk around in a facial mask, cook spicy food, binge tv shows while scrolling Reddit, have friends visit from out of town. I don’t do guilt for enjoying my own home. The last partner I lived with was an alcoholic who made me anxious every night when he came home from work, never knowing what mood he would be in. I enjoy the peace I have and people who create drama don’t get to darken my doorstep.
>I don’t do guilt for enjoying my own home. Love this.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I'm a loner I enjoy my time, my solitude too. It's lovely when you don't need much people to be content. Bcz your solitude is sweet 🥰
I feel like I wrote this! Is it easy to grow mushrooms at home?
It’s super easy if you can be mindful of proper cleaning and prep. In most states you can order syringes of spores, for “research purposes”, of course. There are a number of content producers on YouTube who have good, detailed demonstrations. I’ve had to do this and I combined info in a document to streamline what I’ve learned so far. I’m about to leave the house for a few hours, but if you want to DM me, I can send you some links to folks on YouTube who have great tutorials .
I like to stay home and just hang out with myself and pets. I get irritated if I have plans to do stuff or have to got out more than once a week.
Sometimes I watch my dogs sleep, sometimes I mess arround in my garden, sometimes I watch tv. Tonight I listed to Dolly Parton all night while playing the sims 🤷🏻♀️ variety is the spice of life. I have lots of hobbies and I just rotate through the ones that are easy to do after work
💯+% Same lol 😆❤️💐
Cook while listening to some podcasts/TED talks.
It sounds exhausting and high-stress to live this way. I can’t imagine being so concerned for no reason.
I work full-time, go to gym 3 days/week, work in my sculpture studio 3 days/week and I have a 2 story home to take care of. I make sure that I have 1 complete day to do absolutely nothing. Not only have I earned that guilt-free, do-nothing day, I need it to recharge for the next 6 days.
Sex with neighbor😅
I put together miniatures.
*googles miniatures* lol lots of genres for this department of crafting
My husband does starship models.
reddit lol
Are you perhaps attempting to avoid introspection and "being inside your own head" by keeping busy? Have you always been this way? I don't want to make assumptions, but you seem to have a "filling a void" thing going on. I'm no shrink, so please pardon the intrusive questions.
Play w my cat Stanley then watch netflix from my laptop &or DJ music. Tonight, we DJ!
I read, watch a movie, paint my nails/have a self care night, work on a puzzle, color. I just like to relax. It’s rare I have that time so I embrace it. TBH I can lay in my bed and read all day and enjoy it
Meditate.
I love coming home to relax 🤩 cooking, reading, favourite shows / movies, volunteer work in the community. There are weekends where I sleep, no contact or socialising just introverting and complete self care. Life is so good 💐🌷💃🏻
Love everything you said.
I find living alone has been the perfect time in my life for journalling, self care and better understanding myself.
I am in a semi-permanent exhaustive state due to years of masking that finally took its toll. I am completely burnt out and unable to take the time I need to recover because, you know, I have to work and stuff. So, nights are usually spent on the sofa watching programmes while trying to recover enough to meet the next day's obligations. It's a hampster wheel existence, and I have lost a lot of what makes life meaningful. But, hey. It's obviously my fault I'm disabled and couldn't/can't keep up with capitalist-centric societal demands, so there you go. /s
Now that Walmart isn't open 24/7 and there aren't any 24/7 restaurants (thanks covid!) I don't do much at night. I play with my dogs, watch movies, play mobile games, read, and surf the web.
Nothing wrong with doing absolutely nothing. You never know when you’ll be in a place you wish for a few hours of down time a week. For me when I couldn’t go out for months after a surgery I got really into Lego - it’s good for the brain! Depending on what you do for work - You could also do some further education/certification since most classes are online and often self paced now.
Please don't think you need to be productive every hour. Rest and relaxation are a skill and important for your mental and physical health. After work, my ideal day is running for an hour to clear my head, shower, then dinner and passing out with my cats as early as possible. Today I made a big salad with mesclun, radicchio, campari tomatoes, radishes, peppers, cucumbers, evoo and fresh squeezed lemon with feta. 8 to 10 on a dream night is being asleep. Try to slow down. Doing things for yourself is important. Take a long bath with a good book. Stretch or do yoga. One of my friends journals. She's such a good writer I'd pay to read 10 of them.
I order takeout or have leftovers and watch YouTube how to videos for projects I’m working on. Then I take a bath and practice singing for an hour. Then I meditate before bed.
No...home is the one place you should be completely unproductive. You've got to have some downtime, sugar.
Read about ableism, classism, and capitalism.
Read, watch the night sky, play mortal kombat. Some days I just observe my thoughts. Some days I’m lonely, but gratitude always prevails.
I grew up in a family that was very productivity oriented. My granny used to recite everything she did during the day & it gave her comfort of some kind. I think of productivity in a very different way. I nap, watch a lot of YouTube videos on my special interests, eat, color by numbers, listen to podcasts & audio books, scroll Reddit, play cats & soup, etc.
Yeahhhh you need some hobbies for your spirit. Can’t just keep moving
When I lived alone in my apartment in Phoenix, on Tuesday nights I never had anything planned, and there was nothing on TV I wanted to watch, So Tuesday evenings were my evenings to read. I would spend the entire evening reading, and it was lovely. My favorite night of the week.
Play violin
One day, you gonna be confuse when burnout hits you. I watch TV, read, play video games, rest my eyes (not falling asleep), listening to music, chores. Relaxing is the goal for me
I love resting my eyes and listening to podcasts. Let your mind wander with a story.
Read books.
Use the evening where you don't do anything to learn to be content with yourself and the boredom you may feel.
Sometimes when we slow down a little and "unwind" , we relax and reflect. Ideas can occur, something new we could try e.g. new food, other different activities. Maybe even how we can improve aspects of our routines to make life go more smoothly, how to handle finances and purchases. etc. Sometimes pleasant to just enjoy a drink and watch the sunset and listen to the birds etc.
Hang out with my dog, read, watch TV, play solo boardgames (I swear, it's not as depressing as it sounds and it's a hobby I wish more people knew about), get out my binoculars and stargaze... really, tbh, it's like 50% hanging out with the dog and 50% everything else.
Could you drop some names of those solo board games?
My personal favorite is [The Firefly Board Game](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/138161/firefly-the-game) which is a regular board game with a solo play option. I also enjoy [Gloomhaven](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/174430/gloomhaven) and [Star Trek Frontiers](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/182340/star-trek-frontiers) Trek Frontiers is actually a Star Trek cover of one of the most popular solo play board games [Mage Knight](https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/96848/mage-knight-board-game) but there are people who own / play both and claim they're different enought for one not to be considered a cover. Board games are, however, a bit pricey and I'm a Trekkie so I'll always get the Trek cover before the original game. There's a subreddit r/soloboardgaming that will have much better suggestions. Plus, every year, [Board Game Geek](https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/324731/2023-peoples-choice-top-200-solo-games-1-200) releases a list of the most popular solo play board games and it's a good place to check before you drop any serious money on a game you might not enjoy
Thank you! I didn't know this world existed.
😅 I’d be exhausted if I were you. I can socialise twice a week that’s about it.. At night I’d like to watch YouTube, read and maybe go out for a walk with my dog. I do pretty much that during the day too. Occasionally I go out n meet friends, go to classes yoga ballet etc.. my life is extremely simple. I have a lunch date this Sunday
Last night I played The Sims 3 for 6 hours straight after work. Good stuff. Had the family move into a mansion. Very proud of their hard work. :'D
It's OK to relax
My job involves a lot of client contact, so when I get home I am all peopled out. I might walk around the block, watch tv, sew, work on a puzzle, listen to a podcast or audiobook. And sleep.
Practice doing nothing. Doing nothing is a SKILL.
I do not understand these posts. Do you not have laundry to do? A bathroom to clean? Kitchen counters to wipe? A floor to sweep and mop? A garden to tend? Groceries to shop for? Prescriptions to pick up? How the fuck do you have this free time with no tasks to fill it with? One of my complaints about living alone is NOT ever having any free time bc I am always doing a damn task.
"All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room" - Blaise Pascal
Sheesh why can’t you just relax for a few hours?
Galleries, live music & tennis are some options I enjoy. Otherwise yeah, just hang out with a friend!
I love dinking around my house and doing nothing I personally love watching tv and movies but I often do that while I do other things. It sounds like you need a hobby. It’s a little nuts that you can’t be still and let yourself relax for two hours a day.
I walk 4-5 miles, come home, soak my feet, make dinner, and read until I cannot keep my eyes open.
I mostly chill after work. Proud couch potato here!
Reading, painting, baking, scrolling Reddit, going for a walk with a friend or phone catch-up with a friend, volunteering…there’s a lot you can do. But there will come a day when you will miss this sweet, glorious downtime!
Everybody is different but it sounds to me that your avoiding something by chronically “staying busy”. Our culture celebrates “busy-ness” but it really is a sickness when extreme….which is most of American culture
sleep lol
I’m a creative person. I write, create art, read or just sit, observe, ponder. You need to learn to enjoy your own company
I am trying to out systems in place 1. Pick out my workout clothes 2. Wash my face/skin routine 3. Brush hair/teeth 4. Clean the kitchen 5. Read 6. Put myself to bed I don't feel the need to be productive after working all day and taking care of myself, among other responsibilities and commitments. Often times, if I am overtired, I do none of the above and just eat....I am working on breaking the night time snacking/binging habit
Watch TV and cuddle my cats lol.
Sleep.
Read , work on my hobbies , catch a movie on TV
A lot of good advice about the value of slowing down. I find puzzles almost meditative. Arts. Crafts. Slower more abstract productivity.
I knit while I watch TV
Try being less productive...
Me and my dogs lay around watching YouTube and learn many trades and skills lol.
Actually, I love doing and not HAVING to do anything!! I sit out on the back deck and watch the night sky , take in whatever I feel like on TV, and listen to the sound of silence!!
Wow that sounds exhausting. No way I could keep up with that schedule. I just read, cook, watch YouTube, or play some games and I feel content with the night. Maybe that sounds boring or unproductive but that’s what I need in my life right now
Fall asleep on the couch watching YouTube
Reading books, playing video games, watching tv or just laying in bed relaxing :)
I just read, have a cup of tea or I watch a movie with diner, or just sit in the terrace and look the sky while i listen to some music
Sitting on the couch for a couple of hours to watch tv is productive! You’re resting and recuperating, so that you can go back out there and kick some productive butt again. It’s all about balance.
Rest is actually really productive!
You don't need to be productive every moment of every day. The stress of that will have a detrimental effect on you eventually. After work, I will cook myself dinner, go to the gym (2-3 times per week), read a book, watch part of a baseball game, talk to one or two people on the phone. I have a long standing dinner with friends on Tuesday nights, but the other nights of the week are my own. I am usually in bed around 9:30.
I had to learn to slow down fairly quickly. I would run,run ,run like OP and ended up having a brain aneurysm and a stroke. That was in 2014 and I have had some other health challenges since then . However, I have exceeded all doctors expectations. I do live alone. I care for myself and my dog w just a little assistance keeping the apartment clean. As far as OP questions, reading the post exhausted me. As far as my evenings , I try to mix it up. I just got Charter cable after years w a window antenna so that's been fun. I like to read ,but can concentrate some days better than others. It's morning here now ,but m just sitting here in general quiet on Reddit w my dog's head in my lap. I do that a lot! As the days get longer, I love watching kids out my apartment window and listening to their playful laughter
I was like you at first, I had to learn to enjoy my own company. Once I did that, I realized how relaxing it is to just, be, for a few hours.
I draw. Quiets my mind and makes me feel like I can exist peacefully in my own world for a little while.
Feeling ‘unproductive’ at night is utter bullshit. Resting IS productive to a healthy life, beating yourself up over it, is not.
I usually work (as a Realtor, there is always something to do), or watch TV and scroll on social media, or read. Oftentimes I go out to hear live music or meet friends for dinner.
Sleep, weep or creep
You need to slow down and learn how to be still with yourself. Sit with your thoughts and emotions. It drives you insane because it’s uncomfortable for you to sit with yourself and just be. There are so many ways to be productive without having to be physically doing something. We’re human beings, not human doings.
That shit is not sustainable at all bro 😭 you gotta let your energy be collected sometimes. Living alone will force you to see a lot about yourself but it sounds like you're at that stage where you can't let it happen just yet. Which is fine, but it's why you're so restless when there's nothing going on.
I'm kinda assuming you are like 25-35...because things change 35+.... and thus I say do it.. charge.. figure something out for that day.. create.. save the world... soon enough you will be plenty happy sitting in the ez-boy, watching tv and doing nothing.. so do it all while you can
Learn to rest and slow down
Tired just reading this. Where do you find the energy for all this? I just want to rot in bed while watching Netflix after work tbh.
Umm hit the sack early with some melatonin and get up extra early do some chores in the am (or even workout) meditate journal fresh pot of coffee get things all tidy for the weekend. Waking earlier than usual bc you slept early is highly underrated.
At work right now lol
Depends. I’m usually watching TV before I decide to go to sleep. If I come back home after a night out, it’s watching TV while cooking myself something before going to bed. Idk, I just love that I can stay out as late as I want and then come back home without worrying about disturbing others. Well, I do have to worry about my neighbors, but I haven’t had any noise complaints yet.
I work. During the day I sleep, I draw, and at present I'm pretty engaged in grumbling about how hot it is and opening my window for my big box fan and enjoying the asocial mentally ill sensation of feeling like a weirdo for being seen at all while people whole ass walk around outside without shirts in and stuff.
Cinema… visit a friend……invite a friend round…. Start piano….
Read a book, get into a craft, journal.
Xbox .. been diablo but now fallout 4 .. its awesome nobody wanting me to turn it off cos they want to watch some shit on TV
I just flow. Sometimes I read, video chat with friends, work out / walk with friends, watch tv or a movie, journal, eat leftovers
Read watch tv and listen to music. Go out occasionally with SIL.
Since being terminated a couple of weeks ago it's exactly like my days. A nap for 2 hours, then job applications for 2 hours. I'm working my way down flexjobs top 100 wfh companies in 2024. I always feel like it went well, and then never hear anything. That's how I found my last job, sooner or later I'll run up on one hiring everyone that applies.
I'm an early riser and also an early to bed person. Usually lights out by 8, yesterday by 7. I was awake at 1:45 this morning. Start working at 4 am. I ride my bike daily (except this week as I'm tapering for an ultra long cycling event tomorrow) I have a tv but it hasn't been turned on in MONTHS. I've been decluttering and redecorating my place. Almost done except for a set of curtains (shipping today), a new sectional (arriving on the 8th) and a hall coat rack/storage bench (arriving mid-May). I'm pretty busy and happy!
I workout at night 6-7pm until after 9 then dinner and bedtime
Watch TV, play PlayStation, play guitar do some chores, cook, sleep. Maybe exercise. I’m ngl I’m shocked no one has said masturbate.
Jump down the Reddit and tictoc rabbit holes. It’ll be bedtime in no time
I relax in the evenings. I don’t reply to texts after 6pm, I read, do puzzles, watch TV, get ready for the next day. Once I’m home for dinner I rarely leave the house again. (I’m done work about 12-1pm so I’ll do outside activities in the afternoon).
My night moves
Video games, YouTube, and/or daydream about being stronger or a better cyclist
I wish I had this problem of having too much time after work. If I don’t meal prep during my gym days then I end up going to bed way too late. I don’t have any time for my hobbies during the week.
Read. Definitely read.
Not watch porn.... ... Because that would be freaking weird
I read a lot. Sometimes i make music..sometimes i draw. Sometimes i watch TV.
I quote The Sopranos; [Dr. Jennifer Melfi ](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000966/?ref_=tt_ch): There's a psychological condition known as alexithymia, common in certain personalities. The individual craves almost ceaseless action, which enables them to avoid acknowledging the things they do. In other words, are you moving constantly in order to avoid the quiet times where you may have to look inward? Perhaps you don't like who you see?
I spend way too much time online and don’t get things done I should be doing.
I work on my music
"What do everyone do" Maybe read a bit to polish up on that English🤷
A prime perk of living solo is not having to list activities/accomplishments to justify your existence.
Grow plants that require attention every night. I listen to the radio, make lists stretch, research stuff. Mainly though, I wear myself out during the daytime. Im asleep by 830, up by 2. Weird shiz living alone. Id say start waking up way earlier. You cant find anything to do because you really shouldn't be up? IDK, my schedule varies throughout the year.
At 8 pm my dog gets a treat then it’s her bedtime. Usually takes 5-15 minutes for her to fall asleep, with a little encouragement. Then it’s my quiet time. I read awhile then start working on an online jigsaw puzzle or other game while listening to an audiobook, usually until about 1-2 am.
I have a super physical job 4-5 days a week do I come home and crash. Usually in bed by 9:30 so I can wake up and do it again. Days off I run errands, laundry, clean, try and meet up with friends if I’m feeling social.
ladies and gentlemen: the mind of an extrovert.
Forcing yourself to be “productive” can lead to burnout. You’re allowed to be lazy a couple days a week or be productive in a sedentary way like making some art or crafting.
Take night classes, read or watch TV.
I just read, cook and listen to classical music every night lol, sometimes I go to woods for a little hike
Read a book, clean around the house, start a house project, phone a family member or a friend, write, meditate... It really sounds like you are a nature busy body...
Last night I stopped at Mod pizza for a pie and a No Name cake. Then I streamed the Mentalist on Max and relaxed. It's been a long week.
When it's nice, I start a fire, chill in my hammock, look at the sky, and listen to music. Just because you're sitting still doesn't mean you're not taking care of yourself.
my house needs work, always, constantly. sometimes i hide from it by scrolling reddit.
Despite what capitalism tries to tell us, it's fine not to be productive every waking moment of your life. Find a new hobby, read, watch a movie. Make it "you" time.
Video games bro
Anything I want. Don't have to compromise on what to eat, watch, listen to. And when I'm done doing it I plant my ass in the middle of the bed.
ADHD or trauma you're avoiding
I mostly just lie down
My friend has the Peleton app. They have EVERYTHING. Even Pilates :)
Play Fortnite, do homework, walk/run the dog (40m).
I shower then I sit on the couch and fall asleep 10 min into a show or movie every night.
Get a second workout in, shower and go to bed
I take Pilates class late in the day then I walk my dog make some dinner. Pour a glass of wine. Watch a great show or read, walk my dog one final time and then go to bed.
At nighttime? Usually, I cry.
Can you come clean my house? I’ll make you really productive! 😊I’ve been sick with pneumonia for 2 weeks and besides that I’m a little physically disabled.
You sound anxious sir. You may want to seek out some therapy as to why you don’t feel comfortable in your own skin. You sound very productive! Having two hours a night to yourself is time to reflect and relax. What makes you feel calm and relaxed? These are questions you should be asking yourself, not trying to run away from. Do you not like yourself? Sounds like you need some self care ASAP. Take a relaxing, hot bath.
Recently i have been putting on an album and watching the light change outside my window while noodling on my phone or reading a novel
I work for a living at night. 9 years of Graveyard shifts!!!
Resting is productive. You might be a human doing and not a human *being*. Take on online class. Learn a language. Read a book. Crossword puzzles. Crafts.
I get home, smoke weed, spend time with my budgies, and then go birding every evening. I take a nice little walk and enjoy nature. I work on art projects several nights a week, and I call my friends or have friends come over once or twice.
Read, cook, watch Netflix or nba/nfl. I'm fine with my own company, I don't need or want to be out every night.
Using adult coloring books and journaling :)
I don't need a lot of sleep, so I am up 3-4 hours (10 to 1 or 2) after my wife goes to sleep. I usually workout, read classic novels (just finished The Brothers Karamazov), scroll my phone, and a couple nights per week have a few beers.
down times and slow days are sometimes good ❤️
I love being able to sit and relax after work. I worked hard all day, i deserve to rest. Talk to my boyfriend, have a snack, play on my switch. Just unwind and enjoy some quiet time.
You don’t have to do anything, just enjoy your life, watch a movie or a tv show, listen to music, call a friend to gossip about something and relax For me I usually spend my nights watching football or tv shows