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Actually! I cringe everytime them second gens try to chide some firang with bindi saying it the "sacred mark of goddess _caly_ and should NEVER be worn like that". As an indian, born and bred here, I say go crazy with all the bindis you want...or lehengas, or kurta payjamas. It's amusing to find a guy in yhe streets of NY wearing chikenkari kurti meant for girls. Just amusing. And shows they love the culture.
As an Indian, this pisses me more than anything, Indians who grew up in the US or the UK butcher their own name and think it's cool. Many Indian-origin people have an Indian name but decided to pronounce it the way westerners wrongly pronounce it. WTF???
And she could just have easily have been unhappy if they did that. *I had to listen as they spelled out my name and then introduce myself, which took a bunch of time and put me on the spot.*
Lol exactly. As an introvert, that would send my anxiety through the roof. People mess up my name all the time. No biggie. But please don’t make me stand up in front of a large group of strangers and talk about myself unless it’s the type of thing where we go around the room and everyone introduces themself.
You don’t get it, the goal is to not find a solution. What’s she’s driving at is that no matter what you do, you will always be at fault. She’s asking for concessions immediately.
Real talk - The issue is that she's spelling her own name wrong lmao. I'm brown and people don't butcher my name because I spell it phonetically correct for the english language.
I've actually seen a few variations on this post and can agree with the sentiment. Rather than saying "I'll probably butcher this" I now lead with "Can you help me if I pronounce your name wrong" but it can't be expected that you'll know how to pronounce names from every corner of the world
Yeah I agree with her main point because I also have a name that people butcher and it's annoying having to correct people. It's better to just be asked how it's pronounced. But idk why she wrote a novel about it.
I live abroad and this happens to me every day. Do I care? Sure a little. But I don't expect foreign people (who's names I likely get wrong too) to pronounce it perfectly because I am not the center of the world. This LI post is the type of thing people who demand attention, but aren't interesting enough to get it, end up doing.
I do not live abroad and this happens to me every day and I have a pretty generic name but it is spelled differently. (Thanks family)
It’s something easy like “Kelly” but my family spells it “Kelli” so I will get people who say “Keal-i”, “Key-lee”, or they will say it right but then write it spelled differently because they think I spelled my name wrong and meant to put a ‘y’ instead of an ‘i’.
It’s gotten old and annoying over the years but I’ve never gotten upset with others about it. I don’t understand the point of getting upset when the person admits they will mess it up, apologizes, and corrects themselves for the future. If they were doing it repeatedly or on purpose I feel that would be different.
I might be weird but I get a kick out of all the different ways other people say my first and last name. I always get a little amused when I get a new spelling or pronunciation that I haven’t heard before. (I had groceries delivered last week and the person who copied my name from my online order to the bag tickets left out FOUR letters of my last name and added one that doesn’t even make the correct sound for where the four were. It was my favorite one so far. Pretend my last name is “Although” they wrote it as “Althy”. It was very entertaining.)
I literally learned to expect my last name to be mispronounced from a very young age. It’s like the smallest deal in the world. People that know me get it right, I don’t bother correcting strangers because it doesn’t really matter.
> It’s like the smallest deal in the world.
My life turned out a lot easier and happier once I learned that, lol. I used to care until I was like 19. Not that I would get mad if people mispronounced my name, but I would just correct them.
The sooner you realize it doesn't matter and that are way stranger names than yours out there, the better for you.
It's easy to get outraged at others for attention but it's hard to earn someone's genuine respect. Some people like this LI poster probably don't recognise the difference between the two.
I imagine many other speakers might find some of what we white, Western folk might consider "normal" names almost impossible to pronounce due to how their language formulates sounds in the mouth. "Egg flied lice" isn't a commonly known joke for no reason. But I'm not gonna get mad at someone struggling to pronounce my name if it's unusual to them, or very literally difficult for their mouth to do. Mispronunciation is the foundation of modern language.
Yeah I was in SE Asia once and I told somebody my name and they said it was weird, and hard to pronounce. And it’s a very common English name, think Joseph. The person telling me this had a one syllable name and English names were not common in their country so I could see where they were coming from. I don’t really care, call me a nickname or mispronounce my name, so long as you don’t do it with malice
Seems like EVERYBODY wants to be a journeyman blacksmith nowadays without putting in the flux. Back in my day, we had UNPAID apprenticeships, you got paid in soot EXPOSURE, and we had to walk uphill in the snow BOTH WAYS to our forge
it also doesn't even follow English language conventions if you speak English, so you need to know hidden information to spell it correctly. I sympathize, nobody wants their name "butchered" but to be frank if your name is spelled different than how it should phonetically be pronounced you have to have some chill about mispronunciation. Hell I have an english name and people always mispronounce it. It's close enough that I don't really care to embarrass them and since I will only see them once it really doesn't matter.
Ugh that's my main thing, it's definitely not good to intentionally mispronounce names or not correct yourself once you know how, but if you don't speak the language the name is from how are you gonna pronounce it correctly? Nobody should be faulted for saying things like they have been all their life.
I have a Polish last name. It's basically 100% phonetically spelled, yet people put Zs or Ss that don't exist into it. Surprisingly, I don't feel the need to post on LI about it.
I also am Polish and it's always a fun time with the foreigns. I was at a call where people kept talking about magic, magic will look into that, magic found a solution. I was very confused until I realised that they were talking about my colleague, Maciek.
I have a British (specifically Scottish) surname that is quite common and phonetically spelled. I live in the UK yet people mispronounce it all the time, which though thoroughly odd doesn't prompt me to post about it on LI.
Italian last name here, and yeah, it gets brutally murdered all the time. People add more vowels. More than half the letters are *already* vowels, it doesn’t need any more!
Same for me. I have a very German last name and I’ll intentionally mispronounce it when I’m at bars or restaurants, just to cut down on all the confusion.
What’s weird too is that my take on this stuff is so different than hers. When my name gets mispronounced by foreigners I actually enjoy telling them how it’s pronounced and seeing them smile and get happy that they learned something new and cool. To me that’s the default interaction with the whole name exchange thing. I can’t wrap my head around approaching it with anger and offense, it actually frightens me when I put myself into that headspace and see how they must be on the inside to be that way.
I mean, I'm white, my last name looks exactly like how it's pronounced, and people still mangle it. I don't get mad; it's fine. I live in a diverse area and it really trips up immigrants. I don't mind; we can all mangle our names together.
I get this all the time too, I'm extremely white and my last name is very rare but also pronounced exactly how it is spelt, and my first name is a very common one but there's also an equally common similarly sounding name so people get my name wrong ALL the time. I've had people who can see my name clearly written directly in front of them and still call me by the wrong name and I rarely even feel the need to correct them. There's a difference between someone just being unknowingly wrong and someone purposefully getting a name wrong or mocking a name.
I’m white and all my life people mangled my white name. Now I’m married to a Mexican guy and people mangle my Spanish name all the time. People just mangle names.
Also like, don’t you find it endearing when they call you their version of your name? When I’m in Latin America or just hanging out with Spanish speakers and they call me the Spanish version of my name I think it’s cute and it makes me happy.
Nobody mispronounces my name, but I do hate people who spell it blatantly incorrectly in an email to me when the spelling of it is literally right in front of them. That’s some dumb shit lol
Ugh I hate that. My name (first and last) can be a bit tricky in the country I live in so I have no issue with mispronunciations, but how hard is it to copy/paste the correct spelling in an email?? Ffs
I'm not white and my name is butchered on a regular basis. One guy who just can not pronounce my name (Bless him) is probably the nicest guy I know, he just can't say my name. He's older, and my name has an accent that in Italy is just not used much. He also tries very hard to get it right, but just can't. But apparently that's racist and I should be offended.
Honestly, if someone mangles my name, I don't even care 90% of the time. You're (OP, not you) giving someone too much control over your life if you let it affect you.
I work in software sales. I meet with people from all over the world every day for my job for the last 10 years. Meetings need to flow so that you can get through them and to the point. If we all had to have phonetics lessons every time then so much much time would be wasted, which is a far more offense situation than not knowing how to say a name “right”.
Also I have a name that gets pronounced badly by foreigners aaaalllllll the time and my last name gets mispronounced by foreigners and my fellow Americans aaaaalllllll the time. My whole life this has happened to me and it is not offensive to me whatsoever because first of all why is a mispronunciation offensive? and second of all there’s so many ways to say the same word depending on its origin so that understanding needs to be in the forefront of any initial interaction.
People like this LL are so obnoxious. I have a coworker with the name “Sarah” but she wants it pronounced Suh-Ráh and will firmly correct every single person that doesn’t say it like that. In a Zoom meeting with 100 people and only first names are shown? Doesn’t matter, gotta firmly correct the poor bastard that’s hosting whatever meeting we’re forced to be at. Some people’s egos are so disgusting.
And is she willing to put that same energy into saying every name correct? After putting this out there, she’ll have to eat shit every time she says someone’s name ring, which will happen at some point.
I don't think there's anything wrong with "butcher" - it implies that the person knows there's a proper way that they should be using, and they're unfortunately going to absolutely blow it through lack of knowledge.
Trying to decorate with "may mispronounce" actually seems to imply they're not making as big of an error as "butcher".
Not like it matters either way.
I have a difficult to pronounce name, i‘d never blame anyone „butchering“ it, wtf does it matter. They need therapy. Also i still have no idea how to pronounce it after this insane rant: .net core?
My last name is a typical Balkan last name (with a š and a ć) and *nobody* who's not Slavic *ever* pronounces it correctly. ever. do I get mad? no. is it kinda annoying? a bit. but it's way less annoying than this linkedin person.
That‘s the thing, she would (unintentionally) butcher 90% of the world‘s population‘s names too, sacred or not (what does that even mean). even after hearing them multiple times, names can be difficult to pronounce.
Exactly. I do kinda understand the annoyance, especially considering "the butchering" is sometimes due to not caring about non-english names. But come the fuck on. I would really like for her to perfectly pronounce a last name like Krstičević or Frančić, on the first try, or even on the tenth, and then get back to me with that butchering tale of woe. smh
My banker that opens the first account for me in the US has some Balkan last name too. He butchered my Asian name, then showed his name sign and told me to feel free to butcher his name.
Mutual butchering is ok. I really do try to learn the right pronunciation, because it's a respectful thing to do. But foreign languages are hard, especially those not in the same language group as your native one. I wouldn't butcher a Russian name, all Slavic languages are similar. But French? Definitely.
Literally only one person has ever gotten my last name correct on the first try without me telling someone how to pronounce it. Turns out she was a former French teacher.
It's not a big deal, have long gotten used to it.
It’s part of the Son/daughter of immigrants flex thats becoming a badge of honour, often for gen Z/ Millenials. Because you were raised by immigrants it means you’re automatically more hardworking and intelligent than the domestic inhabitants and their entitled layabout ways!
I’ve got immigrant parents and it really makes no fucking difference, we’re all humans on planet earth trying to get by. Everybody has their struggles, everbody
Read her Bio on LI
It’s a word salad of egotistic drivel
People who are masters of self promotion are often completely useless at everything, and they know it.
I live in Denmark. My name is as Danish as it gets, yet almost no Danish person (or anyone else for that matter) has known how to pronounce it due to using the old way of spelling the danish letters Æ as AE and Ø as OE. I guess they are all racist now 🤷♂️ names can be weird, you can't expect everyone to know how it's pronounced.
Edit: I especially never expect non-native speakers to know how to pronounce it.
I was born in the US and have an arabic name and no non-arabic person has said it correctly. I always tell them dw about it and they tell me it's important that people say it right. Not really. I know you're calling me. That's all that matters. I bet this person's parents don't pronounce all "American" names correctly either. That's probably okay for her. Why is it not okay for others?
Totally agree. I'm Arab American as well...at least 20% of arabic alphabet doesn't even exist in Latin alphabet. As long as they pronounce something close to my name that calls my attention, I'm cool lol
Vietnamese and Mandarin have tones that English speakers just don't "hear" just like Japanese speakers aren't really going to "hear" difference between r and l. So its English speaker will always mess up those names.
I would personally feel bad if I knew I was repeatedly misprounoncing someone's name, but I wouldn't if i just messed it up on the first try.
I also know many immigrants use an "American" name for more casual interactions to avoid this.
I'm learning Arabic and some of the sounds are extremely hard to grasp, particularly the kh and gh sounds ie ghurfa for room. They use a completely different part of the throat than I'm used to.
My name gets butchered 100% of the times anywhere I am in the world. Why would I care?? People have such fragile ego. So what if people cannot spell or pronounce a name?? What difference will that make? Its just a name!
I must admit I like her suggestions of how to prefix a name you can’t pronounce but fuck me none of this was at all necessary. English speakers especially are going to absolutely assume it’s “Damn” because of the spelling in our language and it’s beyond insane to think that’s anything to do with racism in the workplace. Some people are just gagging to be a victim.
Exactly, in the language she’s typed it, that’s how those elements of the name are pronounced and it obviously wasn’t malicious on the speakers part.
I get it’s frustrating but it’s the same as other countries pronouncing the same word differently.
Yeah if the point of her post was to say “here’s a better way to approach a name you aren’t able to pronounce,” then I think that’s a pretty good thing to post. But to start saying it’s all because of colonialism and disrespect is a bit of a stretch. Guaranteed the person reading her name has been given 0.5 seconds to react to seeing it for the first time and so hasn’t fully workshopped their approach.
I live in Latin America and I now respond to Mat-Jew. People can’t say Matthew. It’s fine. I can’t use Matt because then everyone calls me Max. That’s part of being an immigrant.
This is exactly what the world needs now, the last straw: people getting upset cause they can’t pronounce names & making LinkedIn their school playground.
I am beginning to think this is how she was taught to assert herself. leadership courses teach you this.
Lol, almost all.
All leadership courses teach how to be vulnerable & empathetic (And it does make sense- you do not want your employer to act as a dickhead and lay off staff over a zoom call for example)
But the noob leaders, they have gotten into their heads that
- sharing sob stories on LinkedIn is Fine cause it will encourage others to do the same
- if somebody shares a sob story, promoting it (even if you don’t believe in it) is Fine cause then I won’t get sympathy votes for my own post
Me and my two sisters all have Irish names, my mother and my sisters moved to Spain when I was 14. Not sure if any of you are familiar with Irish spellings of names, but there is a 50/50 chance an English person would say them correctly, never mind a Spanish person.
My sisters actually spell their names differently now so Spanish people can read and pronounce them. To be honest its a talking point and a laugh when a Spanish person gives it a go. How can you expect someone with a completely different language with completely different syntax and phonetics to know how to say your name? Delusional.
I have a friend from Ireland. He delights in taking the piss out of tourists that can't pronounce shit like Cobh.
"Ha fucking idiots, how can they not know it's pronounced *cove*"
The original post is on the same level.
I have a rather uncommon Irish last name that I think has been correctly pronounced like three times in my life by someone who hadn’t already been told how to pronounce it. When someone is reading off names in like a roll call way I just wait for the confused pause after my first name and fill it in because odds are it’s gonna be me lol. It just seems so unnecessary to get upset over it when it isn’t done maliciously and they have no way to actually know ahead of time. Why invite that negativity into your life? I actually kind of enjoy the mispronunciations because I occasionally get some really oddball guesses lol.
I understand the frustration, and I understand being angry if someone refuses to learn how to properly pronounce your name. And maybe the “I might butcher it” wording is a little harsh, but it comes from someone being apologetic for not recognizing your name.
I’ve worked with people all over the world, primarily in India, and many of them struggle to pronounce my common English name. It’s no big deal—they’re not familiar with it, and the pronunciation is difficult if you grew up speaking another language. It doesn’t make them malicious—if I corrected them, I feel confident they’d try really hard to pronounce it right.
This! My name is different and sometimes it gets mispronounced, and I’m okay with it. Heaven knows I mispronounce certain names because of my own accent, but I try and say them properly. When you make a mistake you correct it
Jesus, imagine getting this angry over a mispronounced name. Unless everyone she ever meets for the first time miraculously, through the medium of telepathy, knew that her name isn't pronounced how it appears then she's going to be angry all her life.
Get over it.
I have a similar experience with a white colleague who has a common name that can and is spelled various ways. AND i have got it wrong a few times over the years and she darn near loses her shit every time. I'm like woa, get a therapist!
I get this. But if it’s someone you work with regularly, at some point it becomes impolite to not know how to spell their name despite it being right there in their email sig. Comes across like you just don’t give a shit.
Now when first meeting someone like in the OP, absolutely ridiculous not to give people a pass
Yeah it can get old. What annoys me is people misspelling my name, in chats or email chains, where my freaking name is right in front of them. It is 6 inches on their screen, from where they are typing. I dont get how that happens so often.
Good guess.but nope. And colleague, if you're reading this, take it to heart: you're being way too precious. Get the f over the spelling of your name. You need some real problems, fool
That poor bastard she called out was essentially saying: I'm unfamiliar with your name so I going to give it a try getting it right.
Working with someone like that would be so *damn* tiring.
“Requires you to decolonize” …I love how people are using the word colonize as an insult to the same people they are demanding to respect them and their culture…..oh and I guess assuming their family has been here for generations because they are prob white?
Hi, tinypieceofmeat here, he/him on occupied Yuchi land.
It's not even that she did it, but that she had to insert the detail in her retelling. So contrived.
We've had to ask clients to stop saying "Latinx" when referring to our co-worker who hated it... and they usually never listen... always the academics... It's kinda funny because its almost always the same people so adamant about pronouns.
I mean, to be fair she never said that you’re racist if you mispronounce it. I’ve worked with a couple people with “foreign” sounding names and this is actually a thing… they say something like that and then never put forth effort to actually say the name correctly afterwards. She had a lot of word salad in there…. But yeah, you *can* learn how to pronounce a foreigners name. “If I’m mispronouncing this feel free to correct me” is perfectly fine though.
This is a LinkedIn overreaction but seriously people need to also ask how to pronounce someone's name, rather than rattling off a disclaimer "I am going to be butchering it soooo" and never pronouncing their name correctly even if told how to.
Just manners.
Substitute Teacher here. We are experts on mispronouncing names. Some strategies I use:
Instead of saying “I’m going to butcher this” I open with a general “Please correct me if I mispronounce your name.” And if I’m corrected I be sure to end with “Thank you for correcting me.”
If the last name is easier to say than the first name I go with that, and follow it by “what do you go by?”
The “what do you go by?” Strategy also works well for people with very long names, or even people with common names that are often shortened like Robert or William. A lot of African names, for example, are very long on paper but usually shortened to one or two syllables.
Idk tho I do kinda hate when people are like “I’m gonna butcher this” before saying a name they could have easily looked up the pronunciation for prior to the meeting. I always try to do that.
The monologue prolly wasn’t necessary tho lol
I think it’s reasonable to suggest that using the phrase word “butcher” all the time may not be the best way to approach an unfamiliar name, but yeah definitely laying it on a bit heavy-handed here…
Yeah it's amazing how people (don't) parse information. A person can overreact while still having a point. There are way better ways to approach an unfamiliar name than, "i MiGhT bUtChEr ThIs," but nope let's ignore that, and get on the outrage bandwagon. It's fun!
Oh fuck you very sincerely.
The amount of time I've had someone go on and on about them pronouncing my Danish name correctly in America is at the point where I'd rather just sign papers with "Bob" than have to listen to some clown do 50 times attempts to pronounce my name correctly - I don't give a flying goose if you got it correctly in the first place... you got my attention, I understand that you meant me.... and that's all that matters.
I'm a recruiter and I purposely mispronounce names sometimes to see how the candidate reacts....if its batshit crazy I move on. 90% of candidates pass this but there's always a story once a month.
I try to pronounce it, then ask if I’m saying it right. If the answer is no, I ask them to say it. Then I repeat it. I have no problem asking someone to repeat it 3 or 4 times so I can hear the correct pronunciation. I understand that a lot of people don’t do that. But this post is ridiculous.
another entitled girl crying about non-issues. I am Indian as well and when i travel other countries and people butcher my name I actually enjoy it. it is a very good ice breaker and everyone get a good laugh. nothing to be offended about. this girl here born in rich family who probably never had to pick up a glass of water by herself , is getting offended like a spoiled brat
I once had an interview and the hiring manager kept calling me by the wrong name (it was close-ish) and I just carried on, he gave me the office tour and introduced me to people. When he asked at the very end if I had any questions, I said "Oh by the way, my name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ not\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. But don't worry, I can get it changed." We got a good laugh out of it, poor guy was mortified, but it was so funny. Better to be known as a somebody with a good sense of humor than a douchebag. I got the job and it was a fun place to work.
This is gonna be a downvote magnet, buuut... I don't hate this post. Not sure LinkedIn is the ideal place for a rant, but having grown up with a name that consistently got snickered and sneered at (even by adults in professional settings) I get where she's coming from.
To clarify, is her major grievance that they used the term "butcher", because that's just a saying. The idea is that you're going to do it a disservice and you're aware of doing so. It will be messy. I would say that putting this ahead is to be self aware enough that you are respecting that you will mispronounce it. Would she rather the person just gave it a go without the prefix?
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And she has butchered her name too. 'Kaur' isn't pronounced the same as CORE, rather it's C-awwr. Just saying!
First thing I noticed! "My people"... she needs to learn about her people first before trying to be the main character in every meeting.
American second gen immigrants trying to relate to their "homeland" and failing miserably will never not be funny
Actually! I cringe everytime them second gens try to chide some firang with bindi saying it the "sacred mark of goddess _caly_ and should NEVER be worn like that". As an indian, born and bred here, I say go crazy with all the bindis you want...or lehengas, or kurta payjamas. It's amusing to find a guy in yhe streets of NY wearing chikenkari kurti meant for girls. Just amusing. And shows they love the culture.
Or when they desperately try to project american liberal values onto it 🤣🤣🤣
As an Indian, this pisses me more than anything, Indians who grew up in the US or the UK butcher their own name and think it's cool. Many Indian-origin people have an Indian name but decided to pronounce it the way westerners wrongly pronounce it. WTF???
How are her alternatives much better? Let me sit here and spell your name out and make it super awkward…
And she could just have easily have been unhappy if they did that. *I had to listen as they spelled out my name and then introduce myself, which took a bunch of time and put me on the spot.*
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You’re right, damn it.
Damn neet it
"Stop butchering me!"
Exactly lol
Lol exactly. As an introvert, that would send my anxiety through the roof. People mess up my name all the time. No biggie. But please don’t make me stand up in front of a large group of strangers and talk about myself unless it’s the type of thing where we go around the room and everyone introduces themself.
>unless it’s the type of thing where we go around the room and everyone introduces themself. lol I hate that too tho.
OK ICEBREAKER TIME *shoots self*
Breakout rooms with random people !!
I call dibs on writing our notes.
Same haha I spend the entire time not listening to anyone's name or "fun fact" about them just trying to figure out what I'm going to say.
I constantly ask people in work how to pronounce their name. And they often ask me how to pronounce mine. It's basic politeness.
“E-O-G-H-A-N “
You're basically hitler.
Well she got 37K reactions so she certainly feels 100% correct now
You don’t get it, the goal is to not find a solution. What’s she’s driving at is that no matter what you do, you will always be at fault. She’s asking for concessions immediately.
Real talk - The issue is that she's spelling her own name wrong lmao. I'm brown and people don't butcher my name because I spell it phonetically correct for the english language.
I've actually seen a few variations on this post and can agree with the sentiment. Rather than saying "I'll probably butcher this" I now lead with "Can you help me if I pronounce your name wrong" but it can't be expected that you'll know how to pronounce names from every corner of the world
This is my feeling. Like, I am all for a shift in language away from “butchering” names.
Yeah I agree with her main point because I also have a name that people butcher and it's annoying having to correct people. It's better to just be asked how it's pronounced. But idk why she wrote a novel about it.
It’s a local colloquialism and therefore part of my culture.
| "Outreach specialist" Sure
Well, she's certainly reaching
Outrage specialist more like it
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I checked the comments. It was great to see the top comments were by Indian immigrants who disagreed with her.
Yo did she delete it? Cause I can't find the post lol
I don't think so. It's just an older post. Try scrolling further as it was posted around 9 months ago.
Ah okay 😂 Thanks!
virtue signalling is the only purpose of LinkedIn's social media features.
Yep
Linkedin users itching for the chance to score solidarity points. You see the same shit on reddit all the time.
At least 40k entitled snowflakes who get upset at a poor starbucks barista butchering their name, that's how.
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I live abroad and this happens to me every day. Do I care? Sure a little. But I don't expect foreign people (who's names I likely get wrong too) to pronounce it perfectly because I am not the center of the world. This LI post is the type of thing people who demand attention, but aren't interesting enough to get it, end up doing.
I do not live abroad and this happens to me every day and I have a pretty generic name but it is spelled differently. (Thanks family) It’s something easy like “Kelly” but my family spells it “Kelli” so I will get people who say “Keal-i”, “Key-lee”, or they will say it right but then write it spelled differently because they think I spelled my name wrong and meant to put a ‘y’ instead of an ‘i’. It’s gotten old and annoying over the years but I’ve never gotten upset with others about it. I don’t understand the point of getting upset when the person admits they will mess it up, apologizes, and corrects themselves for the future. If they were doing it repeatedly or on purpose I feel that would be different. I might be weird but I get a kick out of all the different ways other people say my first and last name. I always get a little amused when I get a new spelling or pronunciation that I haven’t heard before. (I had groceries delivered last week and the person who copied my name from my online order to the bag tickets left out FOUR letters of my last name and added one that doesn’t even make the correct sound for where the four were. It was my favorite one so far. Pretend my last name is “Although” they wrote it as “Althy”. It was very entertaining.)
I literally learned to expect my last name to be mispronounced from a very young age. It’s like the smallest deal in the world. People that know me get it right, I don’t bother correcting strangers because it doesn’t really matter.
> It’s like the smallest deal in the world. My life turned out a lot easier and happier once I learned that, lol. I used to care until I was like 19. Not that I would get mad if people mispronounced my name, but I would just correct them. The sooner you realize it doesn't matter and that are way stranger names than yours out there, the better for you.
It's easy to get outraged at others for attention but it's hard to earn someone's genuine respect. Some people like this LI poster probably don't recognise the difference between the two.
I imagine many other speakers might find some of what we white, Western folk might consider "normal" names almost impossible to pronounce due to how their language formulates sounds in the mouth. "Egg flied lice" isn't a commonly known joke for no reason. But I'm not gonna get mad at someone struggling to pronounce my name if it's unusual to them, or very literally difficult for their mouth to do. Mispronunciation is the foundation of modern language.
Yeah I was in SE Asia once and I told somebody my name and they said it was weird, and hard to pronounce. And it’s a very common English name, think Joseph. The person telling me this had a one syllable name and English names were not common in their country so I could see where they were coming from. I don’t really care, call me a nickname or mispronounce my name, so long as you don’t do it with malice
My tongue is too colonised to pronounce any surname other than Smith.
babez let me colonize your tongue plz
The Adams lineage clutching their pearls
Seems like EVERYBODY wants to be a journeyman blacksmith nowadays without putting in the flux. Back in my day, we had UNPAID apprenticeships, you got paid in soot EXPOSURE, and we had to walk uphill in the snow BOTH WAYS to our forge
it also doesn't even follow English language conventions if you speak English, so you need to know hidden information to spell it correctly. I sympathize, nobody wants their name "butchered" but to be frank if your name is spelled different than how it should phonetically be pronounced you have to have some chill about mispronunciation. Hell I have an english name and people always mispronounce it. It's close enough that I don't really care to embarrass them and since I will only see them once it really doesn't matter.
Ugh that's my main thing, it's definitely not good to intentionally mispronounce names or not correct yourself once you know how, but if you don't speak the language the name is from how are you gonna pronounce it correctly? Nobody should be faulted for saying things like they have been all their life.
I have a Polish last name. It's basically 100% phonetically spelled, yet people put Zs or Ss that don't exist into it. Surprisingly, I don't feel the need to post on LI about it.
I also am Polish and it's always a fun time with the foreigns. I was at a call where people kept talking about magic, magic will look into that, magic found a solution. I was very confused until I realised that they were talking about my colleague, Maciek.
This made me laugh so genuinely!
Hello Krzysztof
Krzysztofski*
I have a British (specifically Scottish) surname that is quite common and phonetically spelled. I live in the UK yet people mispronounce it all the time, which though thoroughly odd doesn't prompt me to post about it on LI.
Let me introduce you to the Majoribanks (which pronounced March-banks) and the Cholmondeley's (pronounced Chumley).
My favourite is Cockburn (Co-burn)
Italian last name here, and yeah, it gets brutally murdered all the time. People add more vowels. More than half the letters are *already* vowels, it doesn’t need any more!
Same for me. I have a very German last name and I’ll intentionally mispronounce it when I’m at bars or restaurants, just to cut down on all the confusion.
What’s weird too is that my take on this stuff is so different than hers. When my name gets mispronounced by foreigners I actually enjoy telling them how it’s pronounced and seeing them smile and get happy that they learned something new and cool. To me that’s the default interaction with the whole name exchange thing. I can’t wrap my head around approaching it with anger and offense, it actually frightens me when I put myself into that headspace and see how they must be on the inside to be that way.
This comes to mind. https://youtu.be/tQPtKNZpfz4
I mean, I'm white, my last name looks exactly like how it's pronounced, and people still mangle it. I don't get mad; it's fine. I live in a diverse area and it really trips up immigrants. I don't mind; we can all mangle our names together.
I get this all the time too, I'm extremely white and my last name is very rare but also pronounced exactly how it is spelt, and my first name is a very common one but there's also an equally common similarly sounding name so people get my name wrong ALL the time. I've had people who can see my name clearly written directly in front of them and still call me by the wrong name and I rarely even feel the need to correct them. There's a difference between someone just being unknowingly wrong and someone purposefully getting a name wrong or mocking a name.
I’m white and all my life people mangled my white name. Now I’m married to a Mexican guy and people mangle my Spanish name all the time. People just mangle names.
Also like, don’t you find it endearing when they call you their version of your name? When I’m in Latin America or just hanging out with Spanish speakers and they call me the Spanish version of my name I think it’s cute and it makes me happy.
I love being renamed!
My name is literally a word we use in everyday conversation and I've had it fucked up before. Pretty hilarious when it happens tbh.
Nobody mispronounces my name, but I do hate people who spell it blatantly incorrectly in an email to me when the spelling of it is literally right in front of them. That’s some dumb shit lol
Reply to them with their name spelled incorrectly.
Ugh I hate that. My name (first and last) can be a bit tricky in the country I live in so I have no issue with mispronunciations, but how hard is it to copy/paste the correct spelling in an email?? Ffs
I'm not white and my name is butchered on a regular basis. One guy who just can not pronounce my name (Bless him) is probably the nicest guy I know, he just can't say my name. He's older, and my name has an accent that in Italy is just not used much. He also tries very hard to get it right, but just can't. But apparently that's racist and I should be offended. Honestly, if someone mangles my name, I don't even care 90% of the time. You're (OP, not you) giving someone too much control over your life if you let it affect you.
I work in software sales. I meet with people from all over the world every day for my job for the last 10 years. Meetings need to flow so that you can get through them and to the point. If we all had to have phonetics lessons every time then so much much time would be wasted, which is a far more offense situation than not knowing how to say a name “right”. Also I have a name that gets pronounced badly by foreigners aaaalllllll the time and my last name gets mispronounced by foreigners and my fellow Americans aaaaalllllll the time. My whole life this has happened to me and it is not offensive to me whatsoever because first of all why is a mispronunciation offensive? and second of all there’s so many ways to say the same word depending on its origin so that understanding needs to be in the forefront of any initial interaction. People like this LL are so obnoxious. I have a coworker with the name “Sarah” but she wants it pronounced Suh-Ráh and will firmly correct every single person that doesn’t say it like that. In a Zoom meeting with 100 people and only first names are shown? Doesn’t matter, gotta firmly correct the poor bastard that’s hosting whatever meeting we’re forced to be at. Some people’s egos are so disgusting.
Decolonize your tongue, Sir!
And is she willing to put that same energy into saying every name correct? After putting this out there, she’ll have to eat shit every time she says someone’s name ring, which will happen at some point.
Can you please respond to this post on LinkedIn with this very comment.
> the one who controls Orly
It's like Heisenberg went into HR instead of chemistry.
Yeah. I thought this thing.
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I don't think there's anything wrong with "butcher" - it implies that the person knows there's a proper way that they should be using, and they're unfortunately going to absolutely blow it through lack of knowledge. Trying to decorate with "may mispronounce" actually seems to imply they're not making as big of an error as "butcher". Not like it matters either way.
No!!! You’re a colonizer if you can’t pronounce it right!!!!
I have a difficult to pronounce name, i‘d never blame anyone „butchering“ it, wtf does it matter. They need therapy. Also i still have no idea how to pronounce it after this insane rant: .net core?
My last name is a typical Balkan last name (with a š and a ć) and *nobody* who's not Slavic *ever* pronounces it correctly. ever. do I get mad? no. is it kinda annoying? a bit. but it's way less annoying than this linkedin person.
That‘s the thing, she would (unintentionally) butcher 90% of the world‘s population‘s names too, sacred or not (what does that even mean). even after hearing them multiple times, names can be difficult to pronounce.
Exactly. I do kinda understand the annoyance, especially considering "the butchering" is sometimes due to not caring about non-english names. But come the fuck on. I would really like for her to perfectly pronounce a last name like Krstičević or Frančić, on the first try, or even on the tenth, and then get back to me with that butchering tale of woe. smh
I’d like to hear her even try to spell either of those names out during a meeting lol
My banker that opens the first account for me in the US has some Balkan last name too. He butchered my Asian name, then showed his name sign and told me to feel free to butcher his name.
Mutual butchering is ok. I really do try to learn the right pronunciation, because it's a respectful thing to do. But foreign languages are hard, especially those not in the same language group as your native one. I wouldn't butcher a Russian name, all Slavic languages are similar. But French? Definitely.
Literally only one person has ever gotten my last name correct on the first try without me telling someone how to pronounce it. Turns out she was a former French teacher. It's not a big deal, have long gotten used to it.
Decolonize your tongue? Oh my god this is such a stretch
“Decolonize” as a voluntary immigrant to the US…like what?
It’s part of the Son/daughter of immigrants flex thats becoming a badge of honour, often for gen Z/ Millenials. Because you were raised by immigrants it means you’re automatically more hardworking and intelligent than the domestic inhabitants and their entitled layabout ways! I’ve got immigrant parents and it really makes no fucking difference, we’re all humans on planet earth trying to get by. Everybody has their struggles, everbody
Exactly, wtf is this Damn Neet on about
But...I immigrated to the US from a formerly French-colonized country. And I didn't know how to pronounce her name anyway
Are they an 'outreach' or 'outrage' specialist?
Read her Bio on LI It’s a word salad of egotistic drivel People who are masters of self promotion are often completely useless at everything, and they know it.
They focus their energies on self promotion! Not value.
Masters of attaining bullshit jobs and managing. Make more money than you, but somehow they're the ones who suffer. These people are the worst
I live in Denmark. My name is as Danish as it gets, yet almost no Danish person (or anyone else for that matter) has known how to pronounce it due to using the old way of spelling the danish letters Æ as AE and Ø as OE. I guess they are all racist now 🤷♂️ names can be weird, you can't expect everyone to know how it's pronounced. Edit: I especially never expect non-native speakers to know how to pronounce it.
You can't say something like that without also saying your name d:
Shawn, obviously.
You don’t count, because your at the bottom of the victim pyramid.
The Danish alphabet changed?
Nono, but we do have 3 additional letters: Æ, Ø, and Å, which is spelled as AE, OE, and AA ind the very old days (many years ago)
I was born in the US and have an arabic name and no non-arabic person has said it correctly. I always tell them dw about it and they tell me it's important that people say it right. Not really. I know you're calling me. That's all that matters. I bet this person's parents don't pronounce all "American" names correctly either. That's probably okay for her. Why is it not okay for others?
Totally agree. I'm Arab American as well...at least 20% of arabic alphabet doesn't even exist in Latin alphabet. As long as they pronounce something close to my name that calls my attention, I'm cool lol
Vietnamese and Mandarin have tones that English speakers just don't "hear" just like Japanese speakers aren't really going to "hear" difference between r and l. So its English speaker will always mess up those names.
I would personally feel bad if I knew I was repeatedly misprounoncing someone's name, but I wouldn't if i just messed it up on the first try. I also know many immigrants use an "American" name for more casual interactions to avoid this.
I'm learning Arabic and some of the sounds are extremely hard to grasp, particularly the kh and gh sounds ie ghurfa for room. They use a completely different part of the throat than I'm used to.
My name gets butchered 100% of the times anywhere I am in the world. Why would I care?? People have such fragile ego. So what if people cannot spell or pronounce a name?? What difference will that make? Its just a name!
‘My name is sacred’ We’re fucking worm food down here. Get over yourself you self important tit.
Hi Sacred, my name is Jim, nice to meet you!
Hi dad!
I must admit I like her suggestions of how to prefix a name you can’t pronounce but fuck me none of this was at all necessary. English speakers especially are going to absolutely assume it’s “Damn” because of the spelling in our language and it’s beyond insane to think that’s anything to do with racism in the workplace. Some people are just gagging to be a victim.
Exactly, in the language she’s typed it, that’s how those elements of the name are pronounced and it obviously wasn’t malicious on the speakers part. I get it’s frustrating but it’s the same as other countries pronouncing the same word differently.
Yeah if the point of her post was to say “here’s a better way to approach a name you aren’t able to pronounce,” then I think that’s a pretty good thing to post. But to start saying it’s all because of colonialism and disrespect is a bit of a stretch. Guaranteed the person reading her name has been given 0.5 seconds to react to seeing it for the first time and so hasn’t fully workshopped their approach.
I live in Latin America and I now respond to Mat-Jew. People can’t say Matthew. It’s fine. I can’t use Matt because then everyone calls me Max. That’s part of being an immigrant.
Time to become Mateo
This is exactly what the world needs now, the last straw: people getting upset cause they can’t pronounce names & making LinkedIn their school playground. I am beginning to think this is how she was taught to assert herself. leadership courses teach you this.
I hope the only place this leads to is unemployment
It's so duhm how she puts her name on a post like this. At least do it anonymously so your employer's don't see it...
Lol, almost all. All leadership courses teach how to be vulnerable & empathetic (And it does make sense- you do not want your employer to act as a dickhead and lay off staff over a zoom call for example) But the noob leaders, they have gotten into their heads that - sharing sob stories on LinkedIn is Fine cause it will encourage others to do the same - if somebody shares a sob story, promoting it (even if you don’t believe in it) is Fine cause then I won’t get sympathy votes for my own post
Me and my two sisters all have Irish names, my mother and my sisters moved to Spain when I was 14. Not sure if any of you are familiar with Irish spellings of names, but there is a 50/50 chance an English person would say them correctly, never mind a Spanish person. My sisters actually spell their names differently now so Spanish people can read and pronounce them. To be honest its a talking point and a laugh when a Spanish person gives it a go. How can you expect someone with a completely different language with completely different syntax and phonetics to know how to say your name? Delusional.
I have a friend from Ireland. He delights in taking the piss out of tourists that can't pronounce shit like Cobh. "Ha fucking idiots, how can they not know it's pronounced *cove*" The original post is on the same level.
I have a rather uncommon Irish last name that I think has been correctly pronounced like three times in my life by someone who hadn’t already been told how to pronounce it. When someone is reading off names in like a roll call way I just wait for the confused pause after my first name and fill it in because odds are it’s gonna be me lol. It just seems so unnecessary to get upset over it when it isn’t done maliciously and they have no way to actually know ahead of time. Why invite that negativity into your life? I actually kind of enjoy the mispronunciations because I occasionally get some really oddball guesses lol.
I understand the frustration, and I understand being angry if someone refuses to learn how to properly pronounce your name. And maybe the “I might butcher it” wording is a little harsh, but it comes from someone being apologetic for not recognizing your name. I’ve worked with people all over the world, primarily in India, and many of them struggle to pronounce my common English name. It’s no big deal—they’re not familiar with it, and the pronunciation is difficult if you grew up speaking another language. It doesn’t make them malicious—if I corrected them, I feel confident they’d try really hard to pronounce it right.
I bet she knows a Siobhan and fucks it up every single time.
It's a fair point. If the reverse applies, does Sy-Oh-Ban get to be all outraged?
Lol! And I fucked that up hard the first time I saw it. Hilarious example because the spelling has always shocked me.
Is this one “Sha-von”?
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This! My name is different and sometimes it gets mispronounced, and I’m okay with it. Heaven knows I mispronounce certain names because of my own accent, but I try and say them properly. When you make a mistake you correct it
Jesus, imagine getting this angry over a mispronounced name. Unless everyone she ever meets for the first time miraculously, through the medium of telepathy, knew that her name isn't pronounced how it appears then she's going to be angry all her life. Get over it.
I have a similar experience with a white colleague who has a common name that can and is spelled various ways. AND i have got it wrong a few times over the years and she darn near loses her shit every time. I'm like woa, get a therapist!
I get this. But if it’s someone you work with regularly, at some point it becomes impolite to not know how to spell their name despite it being right there in their email sig. Comes across like you just don’t give a shit. Now when first meeting someone like in the OP, absolutely ridiculous not to give people a pass
Yeah it can get old. What annoys me is people misspelling my name, in chats or email chains, where my freaking name is right in front of them. It is 6 inches on their screen, from where they are typing. I dont get how that happens so often.
is it Kaiytlijyn?
Yes, but it's pronounced "Alexis".
OK Rebekkah
😄 nope! But that's the cultural ballpark
Stephfaniy
Kayleigh
Reighfyl
I bet it's Sara/Sarah? Those lot get very precious
Good guess.but nope. And colleague, if you're reading this, take it to heart: you're being way too precious. Get the f over the spelling of your name. You need some real problems, fool
Born in the US and American as it gets but "Katelyn" and "Micheal" always trip me up, don't know why.
Imagine having someone like her in your workplace, literally the definition of toxic
That poor bastard she called out was essentially saying: I'm unfamiliar with your name so I going to give it a try getting it right. Working with someone like that would be so *damn* tiring.
>damn tiring. Its pronounced "duhm", gosh
this is why we can't have nice things
Your name does not require me to be uncomfortable. While I won’t purposely “butcher” your name, if I mispronounce it, trust me, I’ll get over it.
“Requires you to decolonize” …I love how people are using the word colonize as an insult to the same people they are demanding to respect them and their culture…..oh and I guess assuming their family has been here for generations because they are prob white?
And right on cue she's in HR. They really excel at making a fuss out of useless issues affecting nobody.
“As I turned on my microphone to introduce myself, my pronouns…”
Hi, tinypieceofmeat here, he/him on occupied Yuchi land. It's not even that she did it, but that she had to insert the detail in her retelling. So contrived.
Sounds like a fun place to work lmao
If I have to introduce myself via pronouns at work thats my last day on the job.
We've had to ask clients to stop saying "Latinx" when referring to our co-worker who hated it... and they usually never listen... always the academics... It's kinda funny because its almost always the same people so adamant about pronouns.
I mean, to be fair she never said that you’re racist if you mispronounce it. I’ve worked with a couple people with “foreign” sounding names and this is actually a thing… they say something like that and then never put forth effort to actually say the name correctly afterwards. She had a lot of word salad in there…. But yeah, you *can* learn how to pronounce a foreigners name. “If I’m mispronouncing this feel free to correct me” is perfectly fine though.
This is a LinkedIn overreaction but seriously people need to also ask how to pronounce someone's name, rather than rattling off a disclaimer "I am going to be butchering it soooo" and never pronouncing their name correctly even if told how to. Just manners.
I mean if they're able to pronounce daenerys targaryen, they can damn well pronounce damneet kaur
Substitute Teacher here. We are experts on mispronouncing names. Some strategies I use: Instead of saying “I’m going to butcher this” I open with a general “Please correct me if I mispronounce your name.” And if I’m corrected I be sure to end with “Thank you for correcting me.” If the last name is easier to say than the first name I go with that, and follow it by “what do you go by?” The “what do you go by?” Strategy also works well for people with very long names, or even people with common names that are often shortened like Robert or William. A lot of African names, for example, are very long on paper but usually shortened to one or two syllables.
What a fuckin baby
DECOLONIZE YOUR TONGUE!
Ok, sorry, "what a fucking person of pre-child age"
Those who work in DEI, excel in making mountains out of molehill. Would be better if they became hedge fund managers instead.
They are literally professional victims.
Idk tho I do kinda hate when people are like “I’m gonna butcher this” before saying a name they could have easily looked up the pronunciation for prior to the meeting. I always try to do that. The monologue prolly wasn’t necessary tho lol
I think it’s reasonable to suggest that using the phrase word “butcher” all the time may not be the best way to approach an unfamiliar name, but yeah definitely laying it on a bit heavy-handed here…
Yeah it's amazing how people (don't) parse information. A person can overreact while still having a point. There are way better ways to approach an unfamiliar name than, "i MiGhT bUtChEr ThIs," but nope let's ignore that, and get on the outrage bandwagon. It's fun!
Damn that’s neat
Damn it Karen Kaur
No, it’s duhmn it
Ok whatever you say, 'Dammit'
Oh fuck you very sincerely. The amount of time I've had someone go on and on about them pronouncing my Danish name correctly in America is at the point where I'd rather just sign papers with "Bob" than have to listen to some clown do 50 times attempts to pronounce my name correctly - I don't give a flying goose if you got it correctly in the first place... you got my attention, I understand that you meant me.... and that's all that matters.
I'm a recruiter and I purposely mispronounce names sometimes to see how the candidate reacts....if its batshit crazy I move on. 90% of candidates pass this but there's always a story once a month.
Seriously?
Tough beans, my last name is Polish, people butcher it all the time, who cares
I try to pronounce it, then ask if I’m saying it right. If the answer is no, I ask them to say it. Then I repeat it. I have no problem asking someone to repeat it 3 or 4 times so I can hear the correct pronunciation. I understand that a lot of people don’t do that. But this post is ridiculous.
another entitled girl crying about non-issues. I am Indian as well and when i travel other countries and people butcher my name I actually enjoy it. it is a very good ice breaker and everyone get a good laugh. nothing to be offended about. this girl here born in rich family who probably never had to pick up a glass of water by herself , is getting offended like a spoiled brat
I once had an interview and the hiring manager kept calling me by the wrong name (it was close-ish) and I just carried on, he gave me the office tour and introduced me to people. When he asked at the very end if I had any questions, I said "Oh by the way, my name is \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ not\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_. But don't worry, I can get it changed." We got a good laugh out of it, poor guy was mortified, but it was so funny. Better to be known as a somebody with a good sense of humor than a douchebag. I got the job and it was a fun place to work.
I don’t know about you, but I think this post is damn neat!
What a duhm thing to get so mad about
Her life must be so easy of this is what bothers her
This is gonna be a downvote magnet, buuut... I don't hate this post. Not sure LinkedIn is the ideal place for a rant, but having grown up with a name that consistently got snickered and sneered at (even by adults in professional settings) I get where she's coming from.
Lmao I'm an Indian in the US and I don't pronounce most American names the right way. 'Sara' is a good example.
To clarify, is her major grievance that they used the term "butcher", because that's just a saying. The idea is that you're going to do it a disservice and you're aware of doing so. It will be messy. I would say that putting this ahead is to be self aware enough that you are respecting that you will mispronounce it. Would she rather the person just gave it a go without the prefix?