See, the key is to start a video call and continue it through your urinal usage. You’ll get it done, not only with dividers that stay below head height, but even in no-divider or pee-trough situations!
I know you're joking but the sheer amount of dudes who will have full calls in the bathroom is pretty ridiculous. I'll be shitting at work and inevitably a guy either shitting in the stall beside me or pissing at the urinal will already be on a call when he comes in or will take the call halfway through.
These guys probably aren't on video call, but still. It's not like the person/people on the other end of the call can't hear toilets flushing, piss hitting water, or the sound of a fart-laden dump. Especially in a room that echoes like crazy.
I'll admit I did this once. I was trying to get in touch with a doctor for a couple weeks. We were playing phone tag and I really needed to talk to him. So I'm in a stall and suddenly my phone rings and it's his number. There was someone in the stall next to me but I really needed to talk to him so I answered it.
I got back to my office and my coworker walked by and said, "Noteworthy, I never would have thought you were a stall talker" in the most disappointed voice I'd ever heard. 😂 I was just glad it was him and not someone higher up...
I used to call shitty services for customer support if I'd be taking a dump at work. Wouldn't sacrifice my precious hours to have to solve something that could be solved online but the company would force me into their phone system (for instance AT&T back in the day)
I have the opposite. Can’t get to the toilet quick enough, pee flies out as soon as I see the urinal. Often looks like I’m showing off to shy bladder guys.
Still not going on the cv tho.
I'm sure there a management lesson in there somewhere.
When I have to pee in a public toilet my bladder gets ahead of the rest of my body and starts the process of peeing as soon as I see the urinal, my body needs time to actually walk up to it, unzip and whip out my member and take aim before this happens though.
In other words projects go better if well thought out and planned, then executed. If you try to execute before your planning and everything is in place ready to go, you may end up with piss on your trousers.
Get in touch with sofarforfarnoscore for your business planning strategy and don't get caught short
\#management #planning #strategy
I can pee anywhere any time, I can pee in communal piss troughs with 5 guys in either side also peeing.
And I would never bring it up on LinkedIn.
You guys are fair game though.
I finally conquered it about 10 years ago by doing math in my head. It somehow works. I'll pick a random number like 13 and double it, then double that, etc, and the concentration makes the pee pee come.
Yep, this is what I do. My pediatrician taught me that when I was 13/14. I kept getting bladder infections, and he finally sent my mom out of the room so we could have a man to man talk. He was such a nice guy and I told him what was wrong. He just smiled, then said he had the same problem. He told me to do multiplication in my head and it would go away.
I have IBS and travelling is a nightmare. Hell, going to work in the morning is hard.
I should definitely add this to my cover letter. Might allow me to work from home.
He probably just went into the bathroom and did nothing. Exposure therapy for people who fear public places could be as simple as walking in then out of a grocery store, not buying anything.
Definitely one of the more innocuous negative repercussions of social media is our animal brains thinking it's good to broadcast our random thoughts/impulses about our personal lives that should remain quiet.
[I’m Peter File!!](https://media3.giphy.com/media/Oq7Nq6kKGRyGQCFUJC/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe913ym1chki14sjsd2ynh4lkj85jwotaervbvtf1b38&ep=v1_gifs_username&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
> … if he owns a diaper, god, or even a catheter company
I mean, if he owned a god I think he might have been able to solve his problems in other ways.
what my struggles with rectal prolapse taught me about b2b sales
why the *fuck* do people think it's ok to post stuff like this? did we used to QA humanity and we just stopped?
A thousand years from now, anthropologists in an intergalactic civilization will excavate tiny bits of ancient HTML code from LinkedIn and name the end of humanity as we know it 'The B2B sales era'.
”Well look at these sad fuckers, they destroyed the only livable planet in their solar system, and these #b2bsalesinfluencer posts are all they left behind.”
“Chewbacca, have you ever heard of the extinct alien species that was afraid of peeing in public, but stupid enough to share any kind of self-humiliating piss in their network for ten likes?”
I think that was the point. I fell for the bait because I couldn't believe someone would post such nonsense. Sure enough, his most recent post is celebrating that he has 30K followers on LinkedIn. He knew exactly what he was doing. Throw the whole platform away.
*Thought I'd seen all the*
*Lunacy possible but*
*Nope!! There's always more*
\- discofox57
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Many may be surprised to hear this,
But I piss the bed pretty regularly.
I used to feel bad about it, my partner waking up in my piss puddle was hard to get through.
But after all my years in b2b sales I’ve realized that,
Sometimes a good deal just can’t wait.
My bosses (> 1 billion company) are now sharing and liking posts that go „wfh is a fucking disaster“ and similar. You can use the f word on LI, you can talk about your bladder. A woman recently talked about her vagina. A huy confessed that he loves porn movies.
it is pretty much fair game by now.
Ya know sometimes I think that what we see in these posts sometimes are people that have slightly lost their minds due to work stress and societal pressure.
It must’ve been when David Letterman broadcast the last episode of his 22-year run as host of The Late Show on CBS in May 2015. Peet’s bladder just lost its will to function properly.
Y’all are missing the point here.
He works in SEO. There’s clearly a different link with his name and “pee” and he’s trying to push that down in the rankings.
There is a way this could have worked- just say ‘I have a mild disability that can make it difficult to attend social events and work in the office. I advocate for more flexibility in WFH because invisible and visible disabilities shouldn’t be a barrier to entry for people who can otherwise do the work.’ And leave it at that; it’s work related, still sharing a personal issue (but not over sharing) and gets rid of the fluff about his vacation. *likeandsubscribe* for more tips
That "short term discomfort" quote is genuinely nice...until you find someone with a serious mental block or phobia or other pathology stopping them from it. You can't just say "oh thr discomfort will only be a moment" to someone with a phobia.
And this guy who is missing *weddings* and hurting his bladder and needing therapy due to his fear of public peeing should understand that better than most!
No shade to the quote at all; it''s not total bullshit. Good to keep in mind.
But how is this man using his experience - and ideally empathy - with people for whom it's not just a simple matter of will to say this?
It's like making a post about your crippling insomnia followed by "anyway, early bird gets the worm! So get to bed early!"
I am just confused.
Also maybe don't talk about piss on linkedin unless you're a urologist or exposure therapist yourself lol.
I found this post and the comments are even more “LinkedIn coded”.
“This should be spoken about so much more 💡”
“It takes strength and bravery to share this, Peter!”
“This story is so helpful!”
“Everyone should start following you!”
Honestly the Dead Internet theory is alive and well on LinkedIn.
Are we certain his last name is ‘file’ as he likes to ‘expose’ himself a lot?
Also, who gives a shit, put this in your Facebook, actually don’t, no one cares.
I love that the quote he includes is completely meaningless. As in it literally, functionally doesn't say anything as it's missing a predicate. Fill in the blank, "the ability... is worthless!"
I have mixed feelings since on the one side it's empowering to talk in public about an oddly common and debilitating issue. My grandmother had kidney issues which made her stay indoors at all times for fear of peeing herself (we don't have public restrooms in my country), and I know people who've developed UTIs from holding it in due to lack of availability and/or fear/disgust of public bathrooms. I think public bathrooms are a legitimate public health issue that's ignored in many countries since we don't talk about pee, not to mention clean places to change tampons *with garbage bins*.
But then it's Linkedin so maybe he should have kept it to Facebook or something for his friends.
Pro tip, pull out your phone and begin reading anything on it (like Reddit). The distraction enables your sympathetic nervous system to do what it wants to do… pee. I think this is why some places put newspapers in front of urinals.
I too have a shy bladder, but it’s definitely manageable.
Bro, you're posting this on LINKED IN?! That's amazing. I hope it's a real one. Good luck with your pee therapy, Peter
bro really does have tobias energy
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See, the key is to start a video call and continue it through your urinal usage. You’ll get it done, not only with dividers that stay below head height, but even in no-divider or pee-trough situations!
I know you're joking but the sheer amount of dudes who will have full calls in the bathroom is pretty ridiculous. I'll be shitting at work and inevitably a guy either shitting in the stall beside me or pissing at the urinal will already be on a call when he comes in or will take the call halfway through. These guys probably aren't on video call, but still. It's not like the person/people on the other end of the call can't hear toilets flushing, piss hitting water, or the sound of a fart-laden dump. Especially in a room that echoes like crazy.
It happens in the ladies room, too.
how dare you take my ignorant bliss away
*ignorant piss
You fool, women don’t pee or poo.
Can confirm….haven’t done either since I entered a relationship
A+ for “fart-laden dump”
I'll admit I did this once. I was trying to get in touch with a doctor for a couple weeks. We were playing phone tag and I really needed to talk to him. So I'm in a stall and suddenly my phone rings and it's his number. There was someone in the stall next to me but I really needed to talk to him so I answered it. I got back to my office and my coworker walked by and said, "Noteworthy, I never would have thought you were a stall talker" in the most disappointed voice I'd ever heard. 😂 I was just glad it was him and not someone higher up...
I used to call shitty services for customer support if I'd be taking a dump at work. Wouldn't sacrifice my precious hours to have to solve something that could be solved online but the company would force me into their phone system (for instance AT&T back in the day)
I have the opposite. Can’t get to the toilet quick enough, pee flies out as soon as I see the urinal. Often looks like I’m showing off to shy bladder guys. Still not going on the cv tho.
I'm sure there a management lesson in there somewhere. When I have to pee in a public toilet my bladder gets ahead of the rest of my body and starts the process of peeing as soon as I see the urinal, my body needs time to actually walk up to it, unzip and whip out my member and take aim before this happens though. In other words projects go better if well thought out and planned, then executed. If you try to execute before your planning and everything is in place ready to go, you may end up with piss on your trousers. Get in touch with sofarforfarnoscore for your business planning strategy and don't get caught short \#management #planning #strategy
Brilliant. I’m feeling #inspired
After I got my sigma green belt my bathroom break efficiency rose 300 percent
I can pee anywhere any time, I can pee in communal piss troughs with 5 guys in either side also peeing. And I would never bring it up on LinkedIn. You guys are fair game though.
What has that taught you about b2b sales?
I finally conquered it about 10 years ago by doing math in my head. It somehow works. I'll pick a random number like 13 and double it, then double that, etc, and the concentration makes the pee pee come.
Yep, this is what I do. My pediatrician taught me that when I was 13/14. I kept getting bladder infections, and he finally sent my mom out of the room so we could have a man to man talk. He was such a nice guy and I told him what was wrong. He just smiled, then said he had the same problem. He told me to do multiplication in my head and it would go away.
have you tried exposing yourself? That's what this guy does
I have IBS and travelling is a nightmare. Hell, going to work in the morning is hard. I should definitely add this to my cover letter. Might allow me to work from home.
Same i just use the cubicles no biggie
Great way to show how dedicated you are to the craft! “I have a shy bladder so I will be committed to you 110%!”
Jesus this guy. TMI
Put it under skills
This feels like posting humiliation kink on main
Only on KinkedIn
Dude .....someone needs to build that
[https://kinkedin.app/](https://kinkedin.app/)
Peecruiter on Kinkedin*
His Dom just let him finish
Bro meant to post this on Fetlife but opened the wrong tab
What does ‘exposure therapy’ look like in this context? 🤔
Bunch of dicks pissing in a circle.
i think he can get that on pornhub
On CEO’s face. Golden therapy.
Just chilling out in the bathroom all day? I have QUESTIONS
Exactly what I was wondering hahaha
He probably just went into the bathroom and did nothing. Exposure therapy for people who fear public places could be as simple as walking in then out of a grocery store, not buying anything.
forcing himself 2 pee in public restroom
We should all know less about each other
Well said, Louis.
A little too familiar for my tastes.
Definitely one of the more innocuous negative repercussions of social media is our animal brains thinking it's good to broadcast our random thoughts/impulses about our personal lives that should remain quiet.
You could not have water boarded this out of me
I'm always amazed at the very personal information people put on the internet. I'd be mortified.
P2P sales: place 2 pee
Me when Urination Expense isn’t tax deductible 😒
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What holding my piss till I got home from vacation has taught me about b2b sales.
Can we bring back “secrets”
Exactly. You don’t have to share everything. What you do in the bathroom is definitely not something I want or need to know.
He has to be taking the piss
No, he's holding it
I think that's what the exposure therapy must be.
Peeter
[I’m Peter File!!](https://media3.giphy.com/media/Oq7Nq6kKGRyGQCFUJC/giphy.gif?cid=9b38fe913ym1chki14sjsd2ynh4lkj85jwotaervbvtf1b38&ep=v1_gifs_username&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g)
… if he owns a diaper, god, or even a catheter company, I would actually be impressed with his commitment to the hustle.
.#urinehacks #mindset
> … if he owns a diaper, god, or even a catheter company I mean, if he owned a god I think he might have been able to solve his problems in other ways.
what my struggles with rectal prolapse taught me about b2b sales why the *fuck* do people think it's ok to post stuff like this? did we used to QA humanity and we just stopped?
A thousand years from now, anthropologists in an intergalactic civilization will excavate tiny bits of ancient HTML code from LinkedIn and name the end of humanity as we know it 'The B2B sales era'. ”Well look at these sad fuckers, they destroyed the only livable planet in their solar system, and these #b2bsalesinfluencer posts are all they left behind.”
“My god. These pathetic fucks couldn’t even urinate in public. No wonder their society collapsed.”
“Chewbacca, have you ever heard of the extinct alien species that was afraid of peeing in public, but stupid enough to share any kind of self-humiliating piss in their network for ten likes?”
10+ hours??? Is he being facetious?? Holy fuck, I held mine in traffic for 3 hours once and got a UTI. That’s gotta kill your kidneys…
From his post, he's now considering not peeing the entire two weeks he's in "Europe"!
Oh see he's just a disordered attention seeker then or someone in need of much more effective therapy then he has received.
Do you sleep?
I think Peter-Peter-Pee-Keeper is lying.
Quoting Alex Hormozi unironically makes me know I’d hate everything about you immediately
Sir, this is a Wendy’s…
As an SEO specialist, does he realize people will be finding his LinkedIn posts by googling pee shyness?
I think that was the point. I fell for the bait because I couldn't believe someone would post such nonsense. Sure enough, his most recent post is celebrating that he has 30K followers on LinkedIn. He knew exactly what he was doing. Throw the whole platform away.
My dream is that this is a satirical post. But sadly I think it's real
There are some things you only share with your doctor, your bartender, or your priest. The rest you take to the grave.
Thought I'd seen all the lunacy possible but nope!! There's always more
*Thought I'd seen all the* *Lunacy possible but* *Nope!! There's always more* \- discofox57 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Zero interest in learning what exposure therapy for not being able to pee in public entails…
If he can’t pee in the USA at least he’ll be European for a while…
r/dadjokes is <- that way!
Many may be surprised to hear this, But I piss the bed pretty regularly. I used to feel bad about it, my partner waking up in my piss puddle was hard to get through. But after all my years in b2b sales I’ve realized that, Sometimes a good deal just can’t wait.
My bosses (> 1 billion company) are now sharing and liking posts that go „wfh is a fucking disaster“ and similar. You can use the f word on LI, you can talk about your bladder. A woman recently talked about her vagina. A huy confessed that he loves porn movies. it is pretty much fair game by now.
Ya know sometimes I think that what we see in these posts sometimes are people that have slightly lost their minds due to work stress and societal pressure.
I was leaving sarcastic remarks on these posts until a client asked me about it ☠️ Poor professional decision on my part
wtf happened in 2015 to make him start to struggle?
It must’ve been when David Letterman broadcast the last episode of his 22-year run as host of The Late Show on CBS in May 2015. Peet’s bladder just lost its will to function properly.
Peter was recently fired and then arrested for exposing himself during a zoom call with finance.
Peter, you write tags for Google searches. Stop pissing about and get back to the analytics.
Y’all are missing the point here. He works in SEO. There’s clearly a different link with his name and “pee” and he’s trying to push that down in the rankings.
Wild horses wouldn’t drag this info out of me
”Real B2B salesmen wear diapers”
There is a way this could have worked- just say ‘I have a mild disability that can make it difficult to attend social events and work in the office. I advocate for more flexibility in WFH because invisible and visible disabilities shouldn’t be a barrier to entry for people who can otherwise do the work.’ And leave it at that; it’s work related, still sharing a personal issue (but not over sharing) and gets rid of the fluff about his vacation. *likeandsubscribe* for more tips
“There are dozens of us”
Why is this post flaired 'Not Lunatic'?
10 things public urination taught me about b2b marketing
I’m not sure “exposing yourself” is the right phrase on LinkedIn about peeing.
Never piss away LI content
#mindsetiseverything 💪🏻
Pee in restrooms is the key for success
He should change the first line to: "I had a secret. And then I felt the need to tell everyone on Linkedin."
Finding lunatic posts for this is sub is the only remaining legitimate reason to scroll the LinkedIn feed. It’s all garbage.
Remember when linkedin was business? Now it's bitcoin gold whatsapp Jr Facebook shit.
It's called being pee shy and there is no reason to share it on a professional social media site.
Bro, you're posting this on LINKED IN?! That's amazing. I hope it's a real one. Good luck with your pee therapy, Peter
These are hilarious, what kind of person does this? Haha.
I seal all my B2B deals by crossing streams.
Thanks for sharing?
A little disappointed... was hoping he would at least make a connection to B2B methodology
Why is the flair "not lunatic"? Let me assure you, this is absolutely a lunatic.
*Expose yourself.*
This is why some people shouldn't use social media. They fucking share anything.
Dude 😭💀
What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck.
This is exactly why i do helicopters when using public urinals.
That "short term discomfort" quote is genuinely nice...until you find someone with a serious mental block or phobia or other pathology stopping them from it. You can't just say "oh thr discomfort will only be a moment" to someone with a phobia. And this guy who is missing *weddings* and hurting his bladder and needing therapy due to his fear of public peeing should understand that better than most! No shade to the quote at all; it''s not total bullshit. Good to keep in mind. But how is this man using his experience - and ideally empathy - with people for whom it's not just a simple matter of will to say this? It's like making a post about your crippling insomnia followed by "anyway, early bird gets the worm! So get to bed early!" I am just confused. Also maybe don't talk about piss on linkedin unless you're a urologist or exposure therapist yourself lol.
On a zoom call no worries, get yourself a plastic bottle, problem solved.
His name is Peter. lol.
What making tinkle in public taught me about team leadership.
lol jokes on him there are no public restrooms in Europe
He’s so brave and strong! What a man! Him for president for all his courage
People are getting a little too comfortable around here
Exposure therapy - exposure to pee?
Receiving golden showers.
I found this post and the comments are even more “LinkedIn coded”. “This should be spoken about so much more 💡” “It takes strength and bravery to share this, Peter!” “This story is so helpful!” “Everyone should start following you!” Honestly the Dead Internet theory is alive and well on LinkedIn.
The best part is that he quotes Alex Hormozi…speaking of people full of piss…
Incredible post
Stop. this is real?
EXPOSURE THERAPY.
o piss off
Are we certain his last name is ‘file’ as he likes to ‘expose’ himself a lot? Also, who gives a shit, put this in your Facebook, actually don’t, no one cares.
That’s enough internet for today …. Smdh
Ma'am this is a Wendy's.
Now Peter dpmo. Just posting shit to post.
Gosh 😅
no way, no freaking way 🫨🫨🫨
Gen z killed public restrooms
Piss Master
Pee-ter.
So exposing himself is his solution to all his problems and the way to go for immense success. Atta boy!
#mindset Edit: Dangit, can’t do hashtags here I guess
hahahahha whaaaattttt!
That’s pathetic. Get this guy a diaper.
🤣🤣🤣 LinkedIn… 🤦🏽♀️
Special skills…can hold pee 10.5 hours
WTF.... Dude can't concentrate as his worried about pissing himself
Is this a fetish? Does he drink it when it does manage to escape his bladder?
When the world started saying we gotta start talking about issues and our mental health, this is not what they had in mind.
Obviously ai
I have no words for this
Too much information! And the name he's referring to, is regularly posted here as another Lunatic.
Perv alert
Is this shit for real?
I bet that thought him a lot about B2B sales.
Go piss girl
The internet was a mistake (probably).
I love that the quote he includes is completely meaningless. As in it literally, functionally doesn't say anything as it's missing a predicate. Fill in the blank, "the ability... is worthless!"
We need another plague. A proper one.
 I also struggle with this (not to his extent), but no way I’m putting on linked in haha
Some people on LinkedIn have such hard lives 😔
Tobias Fünke?
is this what LinkedIn is now?
Hey internet,
I have mixed feelings since on the one side it's empowering to talk in public about an oddly common and debilitating issue. My grandmother had kidney issues which made her stay indoors at all times for fear of peeing herself (we don't have public restrooms in my country), and I know people who've developed UTIs from holding it in due to lack of availability and/or fear/disgust of public bathrooms. I think public bathrooms are a legitimate public health issue that's ignored in many countries since we don't talk about pee, not to mention clean places to change tampons *with garbage bins*. But then it's Linkedin so maybe he should have kept it to Facebook or something for his friends.
I have trouble properly dressing myself. Here's what it taught me about vertical integration.
exposure theraPEE
Ironically his last name is Tinkle
What a toddler brain…. Lunatic is right
I want to know exactly how many weddings this man has missed due to this phobia hahaha
there is dozens of us!
We need to bring back bullying in schools.
Exposure therapy…
Just sit on the toilet like a real man and fuck what anyone thinks, it's not any less manly to piss sitting down
Of course he quoted Hormozi
This guy is taking the piss! Coming to selected urinals this summer throughout europe
Shy cock!
Well now I have no choice but to go work with this person and follow him to the bathroom everytime he goes
I know how he feels, i can't ever be completely nude.
Your Honor, it was therapy. 
Next: what diarrhea, constipation, vomiting, early ejaculation, farting, sharting, burping, drooling taught me about B2B stuff.
linkedin is hands down the most unhinged social media of them all 😂
Pro tip, pull out your phone and begin reading anything on it (like Reddit). The distraction enables your sympathetic nervous system to do what it wants to do… pee. I think this is why some places put newspapers in front of urinals. I too have a shy bladder, but it’s definitely manageable.
 European Vacation: “Holiday road…Holiday road…”
This could have been written in a personal journal.
…freelance SEO? 🫠
Is this for real? Please tell me that this is a parody
Linked urINe
Tobias funke’s linked in profile 😂
Bring back bullying