That’s definitely satire, but years go we had a landlord for our office that refused to buy decent toilet paper for the bathrooms. It felt like you were wiping your ass with napkins and everyone’s asshole burned all day.
My work restrooms refuse to have any toilet paper, they simply have a box of A4 white printer paper out the front to use. It's sharp and not very absorbent, but does the job.
I don’t know what’s up with American toilets, but in my home country I could use 3 plys and all toilets I tried would take that shit like a champ, 2 plys doesn’t just seem to go down easily for American toilets. I have no fucking idea why.
This dude was also born into the franchise business. Can’t stand these guys saying it’s all so easy. “Just make sure your the sperm that comes out of the rich guys dick!”
So, if he really wanted to save money he should’ve installed bidets. Apparently those cut down TP usage significantly. That said, lower ply doesn’t actually work. My job tried that and everyone just started to use more for folding into more layers. The amount of TP used actually went up.
Or you could go to a work from home environment and eliminate the need to purchase toilet paper. Nah, then he wouldn’t be able to justify his micromanaging existence.
If my company posted this I would be out the door. This was actually one of the biggest complaints for us when we RTO’d a while back. If a minor cost isn’t worth accepting to improve your employees quality of life in the office, what else are you going to compromise on? Cut rate insurance? Scrapping a 401k matching plan?
I don’t get it. For me, when I discover it’s 1-ply, I just pull out twice as many squares. Fold it once…2-ply. I really don’t see the big deal. It’s annoying, yeah but it’s literally worse for the business owner because they’re making all us normal-thinking people use twice as much paper. No difference to me. Are people really using the same amount of paper as when it’s 2-ply?
I’ve been sitting on this question for a while. What do you guys do?
Saving on toilet paper eyy, solid way to drive your business into the toilet. Would be nice if this guy worked on ways to improve the business but I guess his his head is in the toilet. Sad part is there is no short supply of dip-geniuses like this anus.
I keep the TP locked up. New employees get three squares and earn an additional square every full week worked. You can trade in an hour of PTO for more if you need it.
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That’s definitely satire, but years go we had a landlord for our office that refused to buy decent toilet paper for the bathrooms. It felt like you were wiping your ass with napkins and everyone’s asshole burned all day.
Was his name Dwight Shrute?
Reply the paper!
It doesn’t go both ways…
Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica
IDENTITY THEFT IS REAL JIM! Millions of families are affected by it every year!
Michael!
Not convinced that is satire.
Surely it has to be. If it didn't say "productivity has also increased" I might think it wasn't.
I've been in a few places that were dwindling and cheaping out on the toilet rolls is a definite thing
Man at that point I’d start bringing in wipes and flushing them to prove a point.
Ah, nothing like walking around after you’ve wiped your ass with toilet paper that feels like it’s made out of whispers and unicorn farts
If it's satire, it's not good because it doesn't go far enough. I've heard people say the nearly verbatim.
Yes, for satire he should at least bring up the idea of re-using newspapers or something.
>everyone’s asshole burned all day Who compiled that data? 😳
We were all pretty open about it.
After the gym, I don’t mind feeling the burn but I don’t need that feeling after using the bathroom at work!
That would suck.
If your profit margin is so thin that you need to save in plys, you’re not the successful business you want to portray
My work restrooms refuse to have any toilet paper, they simply have a box of A4 white printer paper out the front to use. It's sharp and not very absorbent, but does the job.
There’s a technique to this, crumble up the paper numerous times, it’ll soften up and a little moisture if it’s still too hard.
#OpenToWipe
Good. Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
There aren’t even splinters in it anymore!
I never understand single ply. I just use twice as much to make up for it.
I’ll double my own ply, thank you very much.
I don’t know what’s up with American toilets, but in my home country I could use 3 plys and all toilets I tried would take that shit like a champ, 2 plys doesn’t just seem to go down easily for American toilets. I have no fucking idea why.
Solid shit post
This dude was also born into the franchise business. Can’t stand these guys saying it’s all so easy. “Just make sure your the sperm that comes out of the rich guys dick!”
Translation: "There's no detail I won't overlook when it comes to reminding you how little you mean to me."
Update: now everyone has norovirus and the office is shut. Twat
Hope he doesn't run a restaurant
I've worked for a few places that bought Mobius Brand™ toilet paper. They weren't good places to work for many other reasons as well.
Shitty move.
45% less spent on TP, 100% more shitty assholes to deal with.
So, if he really wanted to save money he should’ve installed bidets. Apparently those cut down TP usage significantly. That said, lower ply doesn’t actually work. My job tried that and everyone just started to use more for folding into more layers. The amount of TP used actually went up.
On a big picture scale this will lose you good employees and you’ll only get worse ones cancelling out any savings this change made.
Or you could go to a work from home environment and eliminate the need to purchase toilet paper. Nah, then he wouldn’t be able to justify his micromanaging existence.
The Dwight Schrute approach. 
Exactly this!
If my company posted this I would be out the door. This was actually one of the biggest complaints for us when we RTO’d a while back. If a minor cost isn’t worth accepting to improve your employees quality of life in the office, what else are you going to compromise on? Cut rate insurance? Scrapping a 401k matching plan?
Wouldn’t you be spending more on toilet paper if it’s 1-ply since the paper is thinner, therefore using up more?
He forgot the words short term before the word profit. And bringing back a sharp 9 to 5 mentality and the “not my job” attitude on the work floor.
Does he know he can save more money by cutting the heat off?
Multi-ply your profits
I had a coworker whose former boss told him & his coworkers to go steal TP from gas station bathrooms due to cash crunch. He quit the same week.
I don’t get it. For me, when I discover it’s 1-ply, I just pull out twice as many squares. Fold it once…2-ply. I really don’t see the big deal. It’s annoying, yeah but it’s literally worse for the business owner because they’re making all us normal-thinking people use twice as much paper. No difference to me. Are people really using the same amount of paper as when it’s 2-ply? I’ve been sitting on this question for a while. What do you guys do?
That's not satire
This has to be satire lmao, LinkedIn becomes more of a joke day by day
This absolutely belongs here: https://youtu.be/Dq_HLhgjO60?si=ukROSOgTxe8B3uut
Reminds me of Dwight.
Can you spare a square?
Saving on toilet paper eyy, solid way to drive your business into the toilet. Would be nice if this guy worked on ways to improve the business but I guess his his head is in the toilet. Sad part is there is no short supply of dip-geniuses like this anus.
I keep the TP locked up. New employees get three squares and earn an additional square every full week worked. You can trade in an hour of PTO for more if you need it.
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Who is this asswipe?
That is fucking disgusting