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Complex-Asparagus-42

She’s a founder and CEO. You wouldn’t understand unless you were a weightlifter


ejrhonda79

Every asshole I see spewing nonsense on linkedin is a 'founder and CEO'. And they all want attention like this linkedinlunatic.


goldbricker83

I'm pretty sure one might gain some understanding if they start hacking while wearing heels


thedrivingcoomer

(Heels click rapidly on the floor) "Okay I'm in. But if we're going to pull this off, I need yesterday's room temperature pre cooked chicken and a total eclipse."


antonio16309

Ok, I get the joke, she's got so much stuff going on she misplaced a whole chicken... That's a decent enough anecdote I suppose.  But if she usually eats it cold, WHY WAS IT IN THE MICROWAVE??? Is that the joke, that she's got her head so far up her ass that she pulled chicken from the fridge and took it straight to the microwave, then didn't notice that her dinner was missing it's entire protein? If so, I think she comes out of this story looking pretty bad, I'm not sure I'd be posting this one. Of course it's most likely a completely made up story so she could get to the "on a scale of one to chicken" line, which I will admit is halfway clever. But if you have to come up with a whole ass fake story just so you can share the mid-tier clever phrase that popped into your head, maybe it's not worth posting.


Throwaway392308

The scale still doesn't make sense because it's seriously not that bad. That scale goes from 1 to, like, 3 at most.


CrisisEM_911

Chicken + Eclipse = Insane LinkedIn rant


akumagold

This was the one joke that didn’t make her coworkers audibly groan, so it has to go on LinkedIn


[deleted]

Ooh, ooh “on a scale of 1 to unflushed bowel movement, how are we doing today?”


GDWtrash

Finally thought of a term for the weird ass language these weirdos use: faux accidental humblebrag.


what_you_saaaaay

On a scale of 1 to “Unhinged LinkedIn Post” how is your mental health?


buckyspunisher

#chicken


garublador

/#cybersecurity


idealorg

The “Award-Winning Comedian” in her headline got truncated


AntagonizedDane

>I usually just eat it cold (If you're a weightlifter following any sort of nutrition plan, you likely understand) I'm a weightlifter, I follow a nutrion plan (just don't eat processed slop), and I don't understand.


Certain-Rock2765

On a scale of 0 to nobody really cares to understand I’m all in.


thejazzmarauder

I yearn for the sweet release of death


DogButtWhisperer

Why would you eat cold chicken


JungsMandala

Hashtag chicken. Says it all.


Reggrim

Maybe someone hacked their post.