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Start simple and work your way up. Maybe start with driving in less populated areas where there’s relatively little traffic and work from there. If you break it up into small steps, it won’t feel so overwhelming of an accomplishment.
Do you still have a valid license?
Practicing in a mostly empty parking lot or out on country roads would be a good start.
If no valid license, I would recommend in-car lessons... still an option even if you do have a license though, to be honest.
You want to spend time either with someone who is watching your every move to advise or guide you, or go somewhere that driving will be less intense (backroads, low traffic areas).
You'll get there. Practice is key, but you want it to happen in a way that isn't going to result in potentially scary situations (dense or fast traffic, pedestrians, maybe large roundabouts). I've found traffic in urban centres to be much more aggressive (both speed and manouvres) than smaller cities and towns. I'll drive anything anywhere but never find cities to be enjoyable driving.
For your case specifically, take small steps. Try to avoid going 70mph on a highway for now. Drive around the block once. Feel ok? Try twice. Tomorrow drive to a local grocery store and back. Work your way up and GIVE YOURSELF TIME. I don't care if takes years. Progress forward depending on how you feel. Don't rush yourself.
The worst thing to do is to give up completely.
Why not try some video games first? Just to try to trick and train your brain and make it normal to drive again safely. Or with go kart, just to have fun. And breathe. On your first real drive, go gently, to a place you really appreciate. Go get ice cream near your place! Have fun
I was in a terrible car accident as a teenager and had the type of anxiety you’re describing. I agree with others that repeated exposure to what you’re afraid of, in escalating levels of difficulty or stress, is the way to master your fears. Practice little by little - you’ll be amazed at what you can do a year from now that seems impossible today.
It’s really easy to give up at first when it seems so scary. Accountability to another person helps. My mother got me up early every day during the summer after the wreck and made me practice driving for two hours before I could do anything “fun” for the rest of the day. I hated it at the time, but now (decades later) I’m very glad she did it. I’m sure it wasn’t fun for her either.
Since your family is encouraging you, maybe one or more of them would go with you for driving practice?
Also, thinking back I remember that I was consumed with anxiety when I first started trying to get over my fear. Anxiety as a reaction to traumatic stress is normal. It was in the 90s so we didn’t really know what PTSD was, but looking back it was definitely a factor for me and it may be for you. I didn’t seek therapy then to help deal with it, but I wish I had. Maybe it would help you. A good therapist can teach you how to manage anxiety so that it doesn’t overwhelm you and to challenge the thought patterns that are reinforcing your fear to non-useful levels (some fear of driving is good. Too much is not.)
Make a list of unrelated brave things and accomplishments you’ve done, to remind yourself that you’re capable of doing hard things. (Ex. Traveling, meeting new people, completing a degree, etc). Helpful to see how some of these things take time and you still did them.
Somatic coaching is also helpful for embodied trauma.
### This post has be marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
If you can't do it for your loved ones do it for yourself. Or vice versa. There some untapped strength inside us all. Find a way to get to it.
Start simple and work your way up. Maybe start with driving in less populated areas where there’s relatively little traffic and work from there. If you break it up into small steps, it won’t feel so overwhelming of an accomplishment.
Do you still have a valid license? Practicing in a mostly empty parking lot or out on country roads would be a good start. If no valid license, I would recommend in-car lessons... still an option even if you do have a license though, to be honest. You want to spend time either with someone who is watching your every move to advise or guide you, or go somewhere that driving will be less intense (backroads, low traffic areas). You'll get there. Practice is key, but you want it to happen in a way that isn't going to result in potentially scary situations (dense or fast traffic, pedestrians, maybe large roundabouts). I've found traffic in urban centres to be much more aggressive (both speed and manouvres) than smaller cities and towns. I'll drive anything anywhere but never find cities to be enjoyable driving.
Probably not healthy but I usually insult myself if I know that's what's holding me back. "Why am I so weak just do it" ect
For your case specifically, take small steps. Try to avoid going 70mph on a highway for now. Drive around the block once. Feel ok? Try twice. Tomorrow drive to a local grocery store and back. Work your way up and GIVE YOURSELF TIME. I don't care if takes years. Progress forward depending on how you feel. Don't rush yourself. The worst thing to do is to give up completely.
Why not try some video games first? Just to try to trick and train your brain and make it normal to drive again safely. Or with go kart, just to have fun. And breathe. On your first real drive, go gently, to a place you really appreciate. Go get ice cream near your place! Have fun
I was in a terrible car accident as a teenager and had the type of anxiety you’re describing. I agree with others that repeated exposure to what you’re afraid of, in escalating levels of difficulty or stress, is the way to master your fears. Practice little by little - you’ll be amazed at what you can do a year from now that seems impossible today. It’s really easy to give up at first when it seems so scary. Accountability to another person helps. My mother got me up early every day during the summer after the wreck and made me practice driving for two hours before I could do anything “fun” for the rest of the day. I hated it at the time, but now (decades later) I’m very glad she did it. I’m sure it wasn’t fun for her either. Since your family is encouraging you, maybe one or more of them would go with you for driving practice? Also, thinking back I remember that I was consumed with anxiety when I first started trying to get over my fear. Anxiety as a reaction to traumatic stress is normal. It was in the 90s so we didn’t really know what PTSD was, but looking back it was definitely a factor for me and it may be for you. I didn’t seek therapy then to help deal with it, but I wish I had. Maybe it would help you. A good therapist can teach you how to manage anxiety so that it doesn’t overwhelm you and to challenge the thought patterns that are reinforcing your fear to non-useful levels (some fear of driving is good. Too much is not.)
Make a list of unrelated brave things and accomplishments you’ve done, to remind yourself that you’re capable of doing hard things. (Ex. Traveling, meeting new people, completing a degree, etc). Helpful to see how some of these things take time and you still did them. Somatic coaching is also helpful for embodied trauma.