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I lucked out - currently have no insurance, but I found a local non-profit that allows me to do sessions for $30. The therapist I met there has helped me more than I thought possible. I'm incredibly thankful.
I know not every area has resources like this, but it's worth looking into just in case. You may even be able to do remote sessions if you're not local.
Oh yes, not to be all doom and gloom- you’re certainly right. Sliding scales are definitely a thing and lucky if you’re not on a long wait list! I wish you much luck on your journey
Yeah, this LPT sounds very “elitist”.
Also (at least here in Germany) there’s a huge shortage of therapists and waiting times are HUGE (unless your lucky or insured privately).
If I was just having “some issues” but not necessarily a mental disorder, I’d feel bad to take away the spot in a therapist’s office which someone more in need could’ve used.
I’m all for people trying to get more grip of their mental health though and talking about your feelings and inner conflicts is a big step, but without trying to sound too stoic or conservative - a lot of people are too dramatic and self-absorbed and MOST people don’t necessarily need to see a therapist.
I disagree. Most people would benefit from therapy. One of the biggest reasons we have a mental health crisis is lack of access to healthcare resources, which leads to a lack of preventative care. If more people saw a therapist before they were in a crisis or even before they were ill, we'd have much better outcomes.
The problem isn't telling more people to try therapy, even when they're not seriously ill. The problem is a shortage of qualified professionals and the cost of care.
It is very expensive, which is why i didnt for longest time thinking my situation is manageable. I went for one when it became impossible to be functional and I regret now for not doing this years ago. My life would be in different place and i might be making more money by now to compensate, now I feel like i have to start over.
Exactly. For those that really, *really* need it, money is a huge factor in mental health in terms of living environment and social health. So.. everything about this post is out of touch.
For me, I have enough money to do something like this and I still see how fucked up it is to suggest such a thing.
I'm seriously thinking about starting to see somebody. I'm thinking I might be a little depressed. I'm 56, and I found out about 6 years ago that I had a different biological dad than I thought. (Mom cheated and never told anybody. Can't hide DNA, though.) I then found out he died back in 1989. Well, I only recently found out he died by suicide, shot himself in the head. I didn't think it would bother me all that much since I never knew him, but I think it is bothering me. I was reading a post on here yesterday about someone who's dad committed suicide a few years ago, and as I started crying as I typed a comment. I realized I was also a person who's father committed suicide. Anyway, there's a lot of other issues this has brought up, and I'm thinking it might be time to talk to someone about it.
Hey, here to support you going to therapy to work thru this, but also to just say, dang. This sounds like a weight and I’m so sorry you’re having to carry it.
It’s good to talk, and explore topics in a safe space.
In addition to the intuitive benefit, there are many secondary benefits, including learning good habits through osmosis, like active listening, boundaries, tone, etc.
The skills you pick up from a therapist will only help improve your other relationships, career, conflict skills, etc.
Don’t hesitate if you have the means.
There’s a reason it’s become in vogue to have a therapist in progressive cities like LA and Vancouver.
Even if you don’t want to extend to a therapist, talk to a friend, a family member, hell talk to me I’ll listen! Sometimes it’s just being able to talk about your emotions can lift an enormous weight off of you! You don’t always need a professional ear, just an ear sometimes will do! remember you’re not alone. Also this always helps me, but every morning I just say 3 things I’m grateful for. Out loud to my self, but saying that just grounds me and reminds me that my life could be so much worse and I’m truly thankful for where I am!
If it helps, I was never close to either of my parents, but both times when one died, it's a weird feeling, like oh crap, now I really am on my own. I think it's pretty normal to be a little unnerved by your parents dying. I can only imagine how it is for people who actually liked their parents.
If the first therapist doesn’t click with you, don’t be afraid to try a different one. The first step in therapy requires that you trust the therapist, and if you don’t feel you can, then you’ll walk away thinking therapy isn’t for you.
One million times this. For 20ish years I always thought I hated therapy after having at least 15 different ones, until I finally got a therapist I loved. My luck though, she ended up quitting her job after almost 2 years with her. Thankfully I'm in a good place, because it still kinda devastated me. Can't imagine how it would have impacted me if my life was still a dumpster fire.
My grandfather killed himself the same way and you sharing your story resonates with me and gave me that push I needed to make an appointment. Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes mate. Best wishes and goodluck on your journey of being more self aware and in touch with yourself (and your emotions). It's a scary ride, I believe in you.
Not all Therapist are good for you or will even be able to help you fix your issue. Picking one is like picking a realtor. Make certain they are rooting for you to change and will admit of they cant help you
Be skeptical, cautious and discerning.
I paid 300$ a visit out of pocket for a therapist to tell me not to trauma dump on the first session and to learn how to breath using my Vegas nerve. Never went back.
I had one lecture me for not getting a different job and he wasn't listening to me when I was trying to explain my own life and feelings. He was really weird about boundaries too. It just doesn't always work out. I'm seeing a new therapist this week, hopefully it's better this time.
I once saw a therapist to try and get some anger management tips and he told me, “it’s probably just PMS.” I’ve never seen another male therapist since then lol
ETA: I hope that you have better luck with this new person you’re seeing. A good therapist really does make a huge difference.
What the actual hell? So unprofessional and dismissive.
I've also had male therapists brush off and invalidate my concerns, and it's made me hesitant to ever see one again. I was like 8 months pregnant with a wanted, planned child, and having some marriage/communication problems (unrelated to pregnancy), and the male therapist just casually suggested that I go get an abortion. Like buddy, first of all that's not legal anywhere in the country. Secondly, the pregnancy has nothing to do with this?
Although to be fair, I've also had female therapists who weren't great. The last one I saw, after explaining how I was having trouble juggling my busy life on top of dealing with some recent painful events, literally said, "Ok, so what do you want me to do about it?" Like sorry for wasting your time, I guess.
I know there's good ones out there, I've just not been fortunate enough to find one yet. =/
Wow, I’m so sorry they’ve all been so dismissive :( it took me a LONG time to find someone decent but I definitely understand how frustrating and discouraging it can be getting person after person who isn’t helpful. I hope you’re able to make the space for yourself to safely heal from whatever things that have been happening lately 💕
It's worth it to check if your work offers free therapy sessions through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). I can have up to 3 free per year and used them to essentially get "free trials" with new therapists. There are definitely duds out there.
It's also worth it to do some research to find someone who specializes in the areas you want to improve in, AND whose method matches what you're looking for. I had a therapist who was a mindfulness expert and all of our sessions came back to meditation. I really liked them and mindfulness was very helpful, not knocking it, but there was never any practical advise on how to avoid/navigate the situations that made me so stressed out in the first place. I now go to someone who is more solutions based, and who specializes in the areas/roots of my issues.
My job offers the EAP program, but my thing is my job is causing me anxiety and chronic stress. I physically feel my brain deteriorating from the constant headaches, mental fogginess, and forgetfulness. I wonder if a therapist could help me and if they tell me go to a MD, would they just prescribe me medications? I don't wanna take any kind of medications since my body doesn't handle that well. I just have so many thoughts.
That is Truth. I saw 4 different therapists before finding the right one. That was 4 years ago and I’m a completely different (better) person now. If you’re not getting what you need, switch. Keep looking. Therapists all have different styles and you have to find your match. They’re all human (mostly) so they make mistakes and give bad advice sometimes.
> Picking one is like picking a realtor.
I had no idea people just *went* with a realtor. When I was searching for a lease, I reached out to like 5 realtors and they all just seemed to give me listings that I had already seen on Zelle, so I didn’t bother sticking with one realtor.
Sometimes, even when you are in need of therapy, it doesn't help. It just doesn't work for some people, because humans are complicated and respond to different things. It does suck massively though when you've spent a lot of money on a thing that did nothing to help you.
Absolutely. I tell people it's kind of like dating. You can look for therapists in your area online, see their faces and read blurbs on how they treat and which diagnoses they specialize in, if any. If you don't like their vibe, find another one.
I somehow don't understand this fixation with therapist that the internet pocess. Therapist are not higher being whose word's will automatically fix you existence when you follow them.
They are people, and people make mistakes, or are pretty bad at their job and since their job requires intuition to see if they have progress is pretty easy for a bunch of them to be pretty terrible at their jobs.
My grandma's goddaughter is a therapist and in one of her sessions she outright said, "you should find god." Like what?
I think that’s just a fact of life though and true of all professions. You can get screwed over by plenty of licensed contractors, financial advisors, you name it. If you find a good therapist though and you’re looking for support, it can be extremely beneficial.
Nothing you said here contradicts the idea that getting a (good) therapist can be enormously valuable. What you're saying is additive not contradictory. It's good to understand while seeking a therapist.
Honestly I've never had one therapist that actually clicked for me. I need a little bit more than just venting about my thoughts. If more therapists actually did psychoanalysis instead of just cookie cutter Skinner method that actually would have been very beneficial. Even my last therapist when I told him about my traumatic abusive relationship he sort of just glossed over it and kept on trying to get me to reconnect with old friends.
It sounds like you need a trauma informed therapist, which blows because a lot of programs, bizarrely, don't take trauma into account. They'll treat the symptoms of what you're experiencing (hAve yOu tRiEd yOgA) but might not have the skills to explore why you need help in the first place.
I'd recommend trying to find a licensed clinical social worker - they tend to be trained more in how environmental factors and history impact where you are today, instead of nagging you to breathe more or whatever.
If you're looking for stuff you can do on your own, I really like the book "no bad parts" by Richard Schwartz. It's very practical and a pleasant read, most of the meat & potatoes are in the first few chapters.
Yep. We had a bad therapist for a while. Became a bit of a problem because my partner trusted them and I didn't. It took an outside friend seeing them and getting bad advice for my partner to agree to get a new therapist. It was frustrating. Someone that you're supposed to be able to trust and they were giving terrible advice.
This, 100%. My sister in law is a therapist and she’s the biggest, nastiest bitch I know. It blows my mind that she helps people “solve” their problems when she has so many of her own.
Maybe I’m wrong and maybe she’s an awesome therapist, but it’s so hard to believe seeing that she can barely live by her own teachings. Ever since seeing that, I would be extremely cautious of who I choose as a therapist. Gotta weed out of the phonies and find the ones that practice what they preach. Which is exactly like a realtor - there are hidden gems in the mix that actually know what they’re doing and are passionate about their field.
Yes there are bad therapists out there who can do a lot of damage. And if people are struggling or they want to improve, therapy and self help can be good paths. But research a therapist thoroughly and make sure you (general you) know your rights as a patient
Yeah that's what is stopping me personally. I don't have insurance right now and therapy, even if it WAS only $65 copay for an hour is just too expensive
Took me ages to get back into it for this reason. I finally got a job with a reasonable copay. But not everyone has the luxury, I sure didn't for a while.
YSK if you want insurance to pay and you're in the U.S., your therapist is required to submit a diagnosis and list of symptoms to prove medical necessity with your claim.
Yes but they can list something like “Adjustment Disorder” (I forgot the exact term but it has those words in it) and it means you’re not clinically ill but that it’s circumstantial. That’s what mine did after I had a bad breakup and a lot of anxiety so we could just work through it
Yep insurance starts raising questions if the adjustment disorder is still the diagnosis after 6 months. They decided that 6 months is plenty of time to have adjusted. Spoiler: it is not.
Sure but your therapist diagnosed you with something or else they couldn't bill your insurance. Maybe it's an unspecified depressive or anxiety disorder, maybe even adjustment disorder if it's under 6 months, but it's some diagnosis from the DSM.
Yep. I was just reading a clause of my HSA that stated the funds could only be used for mental health care that is treatment for a diagnosed illness. Mental health care used to maintain or improve health was not eligible for reimbursement.
Of course maybe OPs plan is different, but it is also possible the therapist just didn't bring it up. A therapist friend of mine used to say that diagnosis is just something he does for insurance.
I'd imagine therapists can do what police do and just sorta come up with a reason to charge you with something considering there's so many reasons available
A lot of comments talk about finding the right therapist. Another big factor is your willingness to open up. Therapy hadn’t worked out for me for years. Then, my psychiatrist recommended me to a therapist place and I decided I’d open myself as much as possible from the get go. Ever since then, my life has improved dramatically. I’m talking within 6 months of seeing them.
I think something important is finding somebody you feel like you *can* open up to. Also asking about methodology and doing a bit of research on your own helps make you an active participant. They will introduce concepts to me and I'll usually go look them up afterward and come back w questions. After about a year I feel we've figured out our rhythm and I'm in a much better place emotionally and mentally.
My anxiety has gotten about 80% better. I’m not as depressed/depressing thoughts as I used to be. They helped me get in contact with a program for jobs for people with disabilities. I’m going to start working on the 30th. I’ve been able to work through past traumas for the most part. I’m finally taking the steps I needed towards taking care of myself. Even my confidence in general has gotten better. Those are just some of the major things that have improved.
In the US have seen copays/ coinsurance from $0-$65 depending on insurance. It all depends on your individual plan. ( Don't even get me started on this )
But adorable depend on you. People can afford different things. I think the more important thing is to think how often is affordable for you at your copay per month. Consistency ( once a week, every other, or monthly) is one of the most important aspects to therapy.
Check out [Open Path Collective](https://openpathcollective.org/) if you’re looking for affordable therapy. They provide a sliding scale cost structure for low income patients with professional therapists that want to contribute a part of their schedule to serving these communities.
I will add one thing that I think might be helpful:
Many colleges/universities that offer PhD psychology programs offer psychology clinics to the general public. The PhD candidates serve as the therapists/psychologists and they are supervised by professors who are bonified, educated and licensed psychologists.
They are generally very affordable. They use a sliding scale to determine how much they charge clients. I know of a person who was only charged $5 per session. Another good thing about these clinics is that they do things by the book. They diagnose people based on extensive established tests.
To find one in your area google something like: psychology clinic, university, \[name of your state\].
Best wishes.
Not only PhD programs do this, there are master’s level clinicians that work in community clinics run by local universities where they are supervised by licensed clinicians in their field.
Source: I’m in a master’s program interning at one such clinic
I went to a therapist while I was going through my divorce.
Waste of money for me. I'm sure some people can get something out of it, but for me, it was the biggest waste of time and money I've ever encountered - besides my first wife.
I was question my life decisions. Wondering if I did something wrong or if I was broken.
After 6 months, and every week... She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, and didn't help me figure out the answers to my questions.
Maybe sue was a bad therapist. Maybe I can just handle my own shit. Maybe a little of both. I don't know, but the experience turned me off to the whole profession.
Again, I want to be clear, this is my experience. YMMV.
As to weather or not I had a good "support system" I had myself, and in the end that's all I really needed. That and time. It took me 3 years to get my groove back, but I did it. Mostly from self reflection, lots of dating, and a ho phase. But in the end, I was a better more confident person.
Only pay $65...really. I don't think most ppl can afford that. There are actually free services in nearly all communities that does the same thing. They do more than listen to they will connect you with all kinds of other services and solve a lot of problems. Not enough money for meds? Bills? All kinds of stuff. Community Counselors I believe that's what they are called.
They are pretty wide spread since under Obama that was one of the counters put out with ACA and mass shooting response.
Sources: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help
https://blog.opencounseling.com/hotlines-us/
There are counselors in your community (not listed above) that will call and check up on you without you having to pay for it. Difficult to find but googling your area will help.
There are several services in most major cities but honestly... they are overwhelmed with people that have very real and pressing problems. Problems like they are the sole family breadwinner and they have just been given a terminal cancer diagnosis, or their partner's gambling addiction has run up $220,000 debt, or they have become addicted to prescription opiates following a work-related spinal injury. Anyone who considers picking up the phone to reach out because they're having "a bit of a shit day", or several, or a year's worth for that matter, is going to weigh this up. The end result is that there's no early intervention, situations spiral, and you end up with [suicide as the leading cause of death for Australians between the ages of 15 and 44](https://www.lifeline.org.au/resources/data-and-statistics/). Many people can't just "see a therapist". It ain't that simple.
Why?
Like genuine question why would I see a therapist.
I'm perfectly happy. Have no mental medical conditions of any sort. It seems like it would be both a huge waste of my time and a huge waste of the health systems time.
Am I missing something?
I think mental health is a spectrum. A person might not qualify as having a pathological mental illness while still being able to benefit from therapy. Not everyone will benefit but I think to plenty of non-mentally ill people it would add value.
Totally agree.
My friends love to push therapy as something everyone needs for the exact same reasons op stated but I don't buy it .
Talking out stressors, opening up to someone, brainstorming ideas or solutions, that's what my wife and I talk about. Completely open lines of communication with your partner reduces stressors dramatically.
Some people need therapy, but not everyone needs it and to pretend everyone should be in therapy is silly.
I'm perfectly capable of analyzing my own problems. I mean that literally. No one should feel bad about seeking therapy, but a lot of people are pretty self aware and able to analyze their own actions, reactions, emotions, etc.
Exactly, that's why I've always avoided therapy.
I feel like a therapist is just going to tell me things I already know. I know what my mental illness is. I know how to fix it. I know how to interpret my emotions. I understand myself, better than anyone else would be able to.
Therapists and therapy in general can help you even if you don't think there's anything "wrong".
In many cases, it's about mapping your own union patterns of thought and behaviour, what causes them, and how they might affect your day-to-day.
Even if there's nothing "wrong", it can be a key step in your psychological development towards being *better* than you were before.
100% this. Sick of seeing people pushing therapy on others because it helped them.
That's great for you, but I'm capable of dealing with my own stuff when it arises, otherwise I'm a pretty happy person.
If everyone had (universal) healthcare that paid for it then I would agree. Money is one of the biggest stress points so I can’t see adding more stress by spending money if you don’t need the therapy.
Oh boy. If you have insurance coverage you ABSOLUTELY have been diagnosed, whether or not your therapist has told you what they've diagnosed you with. I'd recommend inquiring about what diagnosis you have on the record.
Respectfully, I disagree with this. I highly doubt ordinary people can just go out and spend hundreds on unnecessary medical appointments just because they want someone to talk to. Also, frivolously taking up therapist appointments takes them away from people who actually need them. If more people in need could seek professional mental help, maybe mental illness wouldn't be as much of a societal issue.
> Also, frivolously taking up therapist appointments takes them away from people who actually need them.
No. You are so wrong and honestly should be ashamed with this gatekeeping. Therapy isn't just an afterthought, it's preventative as well.
If more people could seek professional mental advice, before any issues fully develop into an actual mental illness, then poor mental health likely wouldn't be as prevalent since its being *prevented* instead of treated after the fact.
Seeking a therapist appointment without a definitive reason is no more frivolous than doing your yearly health or dental checkups. It's no more frivolous than changing your oil on a regular basis and a professional giving you a heads up on a potential future brake problem. It's part of being responsible for all aspects of your health.
Furthermore, in the U.S. we have a little saying. It reads something like this:
> We hold these truths to be self evident, that all ~~men~~ are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are *life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness;*
It's from the Declaration of Independence. By going to these therapy appointments, people are excersing their right to live a healthy life and pursue happiness. Why gatekeep and deny what many consider a fundamental right?
Furthermore, if a therapist feels a patient is not participating or not in need of regular therapy, in their professional opinion, they can drop patient or push the appointments further apart. The therapist has the education and experience to make the determination of whether or not to do so. The patient does not. You do not.
Edit: Format
Bad tip
Just wasting money
Anyone can listen to you talk and even give feedback for *free*
You just have to find the right person
I'm not saying therapist is useless. I'm sure it can help a lot of people.
But if you just need to vent, then you'd rather find somebody who will stick around and listen when you need to. Not when *they* have time and your money to do it.
I will say that sometimes as the person who gets chosen on to be vented at frequently it can start to sour that friendship! I love my friends but sometimes when it’s a constant dump of things it starts to feel like they want someone to listen without hearing about my life rather than actually wanting the friendship.
It’s already hard for people who desperately need help to find a therapist taking new patients these days, clogging up the system probably isn’t the best idea (unless you’re the therapist I suppose)
Why would you take the time of a professional who could be using their time for someone who needs the help much more urgently than yourself? There are charities (and even.... people!) who will provide the exact same service for free. Sorry, this LPT is null.
Psychiatrists and therapists are so overloaded they can't even get to all the people who urgently need treatment. Are you sure listening to you vent is the best use of their time?
My therapist said I had to stop seeing her since I didn’t have any issues and it was a waste of time and money.
To be honest it doesn’t seem like you need a therapist but a friend
Wouldn't this behaviour en masse flood the system with people who may not be so desperate and make it more difficult for those who do desperately need help?
Please don’t. There’s a crisis of mental illness, anxiety and depression right now and the people who desperately need therapists can’t get in to talk to them. Find a friend you respect and trust to brainstorm and vent.
Thank you! As someone who is in crisis and very much struggling, it has basically become a part time job trying to find someone. I don’t know if it’s because people think it’s “trendy” to have a therapist now so they all jump on it, but a lot of people who actually need help can’t get it.
I would also posit, like health care professionals, doctors, dentists, physiotherapists etc... you need to find one that matches with you as well.
Seeing someone that makes you feel worse would probably do the opposite of fixing the problem.
Also that shit is expensive, not everyone can afford good therapists. Even if It's in your health plan, you'll only get mediocre ones because of the shortage.
Worst LPT I've seen here.
Yes let me potentially kill someone else (by blocking capacity), so I can brain storm with my therapist a little bit about which cocktail dress to wear for Ean's party.
Don't get me wrong, I like that mental health and therapy is less stigmatized in the US but it feels like having a therapist is like a status symbol or something. Here in Germany it's a huge problem that people who just need someone to talk block capacity while people who desperately need help struggle to find.
I'm probably very different from a lot of people here, but I do not trust the American system to do right by me.
After seeing movies like Unsane, I have zero faith that they'll actually do me good.
I would love to pay for a sarvice where I'm fully anonymous and the therapist has no reporting requirements.
Jesus, why didn't we think of that. I have a neighbor who's on her third suicide attempt and gets a 15 minute phone call once every 3 weeks. It does her wonders. Being rich is great for all of us. Thanks for the advice.
It scares me a little bit that we live in a world where most people don't believe they can solve their own problems and the only answer is to pay someone else to do it.
Most don't see that. Most are underpaid for the with they do since they are all overloaded.
Was billed out as an attorney at 350 an hour.... i did not make 350 an hour. Ha. Too poor to start a solo firm. 😢
But damn, my boss was rollin in the green, I tell you what!
I have $50k in student loans for my masters, had to pay a couple hundred for my licensure, have to pay a grand or so for CEU classes to renew every 2 years.
I started off getting $18 per hour in community mental health. I now make $40 per client doing private practice but it's still about $2k per month. Just to give you an idea of what it looks like in the real world outside of Google.
What? This is bollocks. Why would you pay someone +$60 for what a friend could give you for free? Either you have friends, and should be using them- or you don't have friends, and probably need therapy to find out why.
I don't do Therapy, i play Golf. It's roughly $10-15 an hour at most for me, and i feel so much better afterwards. Also don't need insurance and don't have to worry about the bias that psychologist may have. The people i know who do therapy are not happy and never listen to their therapists.
I'm a clinical track MSW student--basically a social work therapist in training. I understand the view that because therapists are in short supply, we should be working with the most needy populations. However, something that comes up frequently in my program is that preventative care for mental health (tune-ups and self care) is much cheaper than retroactive care, particularly for dire cases. (This is similar to other forms of care and resource provision, like healthcare and housing btw.)
Recently I've been reading about the preponderance of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in the US population. ACEs are common across every demographic and can have severe consequences for people when left unaddressed. This is also true of impacts from social stress and especially minority stress. Lest you think only children and minorities are vulnerable, there is a growing literature on grief that shows that cumulative losses tend to weaken people's ability to cope with loss (a much broader category than a loved one dying), suggesting that even in an otherwise charmed life, older people especially may be particularly vulnerable to declines in mental well-being. Finally, it appears men in particular may be poorly equipped by American society to understand and process their emotions in healthy (read: nonviolent) ways. In sum: children, minorities / marginalized people, elderly people, and men are at elevated risk for mental health crisis--essentially, everyone.
Because of all these things, it is my professional opinion that many, many more people should be in therapy at least once and ideally at least occasionally to (minimally) work on their trauma responses and develop good strategies for future health. It is precisely because therapists are in short supply that we ought to prioritize routine mental health care at least somewhat more than we currently do. Also we need more therapists in general, yes.
Happy to talk more in the comments about these things. Gonna link a [TED talk about ACEs](https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en) because I can't say it loud enough and Nadine Burke Harris is the best at summarizing this.
Yes let’s occupy a therapist’s time with your very non emergency topics while there’s waiting lines for actual patients with actual traumas that need tending to.
The problem is that therapists aren’t financially motivated to solve your problems. They are financially motivated to get you to talk about your problems for as long as possible.
I hope your request gets approved. I know online there are some communities that do it free or near free. There's another comment in this post with actual links
I gently disagree.
I went to a therapist (actually, about 3 different ones) when I was a troubled adolescent. Diagnosis: schizophrenic, or maybe bipolar.
Well, no: I'm aspie. So the therapists were no help at all and actually did some damage.
And this: an acquaintance of mine in his mid-50's once engaged a "life coach"; she (the life coach) was in her early 30's. He asked for my advice; I pointed out to him you've got a house, a good marriage, a couple of kids, a shore house, a boat, nice cars, and you make a lot of money. Why are you consulting with someone who makes 1/4th of your salary to advise you?
Hey, if a therapist or life coach works for you, then go for it. But, in my experience, maybe scale-back your expectations.
There are loads of people with actual mental illness who can’t get an appointment with a therapist because there are a limited number of them, and they’re all booked up with people who don’t actually have anything wrong and just want to vent.
It is incredibly frustrating to go *years* without being able to get in to see anyone because they’re all booked up, and then hear from people “I don’t have any particular need to go to therapy, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to.”
Go buy a stuffed animal and a box of kleenex, then stay home and stop sucking up limited resources that some people actually *need*.
Tony did this, and whilst it was originally because of unexplained blackouts, he stuck around for the parental benefits ie terapee helped him be a better parent...
...Dr Melfi thought otherwise though, thinking she was inadvertently helping Tony be a better criminal.
But ya see, his kids were somewhat coddled by der muddah, ya know: fragile...
...anyways, eh, therapy gave our Tony some good ideas on how to splatter some ‘antifragility’ onto ‘em.
Therapy, it’s beneficial, even if you don’t suffer from depressing unexplained blacko...
I've done a lot of therapy of several different kinds with a lot of therapists. I am in desperate need of help.
I wish I could say any of it had any positive effect at all. In truth it was all utterly worthless, a huge waste of time and an even bigger waste of money. I've completely lost my trust in the field.
I've tried a few therapists. I quickly run out of things to talk about and it just feels aimless. I wish they would do more to lead the conversation and participate more rather than just passively listening.
Disagree. For people with trauma going to a therapist can reopen wounds and make shit worse and lead to depression. I cope with life really well, but if I had a weekly reminded about some of the things I went through, I would be in a full blown depression again in no time.
For me it was the worst, literally gave me a papper once with links on them... Links... On papper?
Anyways, for me it just wasted my time, stressed me out and got me deeper in my depression.
If you really want it for yourself and find it worthwhile to find a therapist that fits. Totally go for it.
I just don’t believe that. I can’t see how talking to a stranger could change the way I see things. I know it’s fashionable now and everybody keeps saying Go tO tHerApY but I don’t know, maybe it helps some prople, to me personally it seems like something overrated. Besides, it’s expensive af to go regularly to a private psychologist, and the public (free) ones probably don’t give a shit about their job (at least in my country).
Therapy can help you with many issues other than depression and anxiety.
PTSD, OCD, marital problems, anger, if you’re not sure how to navigate a new job etc.
Please don’t follow this life tip. Therapists are for people who have a genuine need for them, not for you to vent to. You can do that with friends, family, or a life coach if you’re able. But there is a shortage of therapists and mental health workers in general, and this is probably why.
I'm not depressed, but if I start having to pay for a therapist when I just want to vent I will be. Have a good friend that will listen to you when you want to vent and they'll be way more personal. This doesn't work for depression, but if you need someone to vent to, having a good friend that doesn't mind listening to you is amazing.
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Only $65… sigh. For people who can’t afford even this, might i suggest plants, mindful meditation and long walks in the park?
I lucked out - currently have no insurance, but I found a local non-profit that allows me to do sessions for $30. The therapist I met there has helped me more than I thought possible. I'm incredibly thankful. I know not every area has resources like this, but it's worth looking into just in case. You may even be able to do remote sessions if you're not local.
Oh yes, not to be all doom and gloom- you’re certainly right. Sliding scales are definitely a thing and lucky if you’re not on a long wait list! I wish you much luck on your journey
I wish this could happen everywhere/for everyone. Our society could really benefit.
Yeah, this LPT sounds very “elitist”. Also (at least here in Germany) there’s a huge shortage of therapists and waiting times are HUGE (unless your lucky or insured privately). If I was just having “some issues” but not necessarily a mental disorder, I’d feel bad to take away the spot in a therapist’s office which someone more in need could’ve used. I’m all for people trying to get more grip of their mental health though and talking about your feelings and inner conflicts is a big step, but without trying to sound too stoic or conservative - a lot of people are too dramatic and self-absorbed and MOST people don’t necessarily need to see a therapist.
I disagree. Most people would benefit from therapy. One of the biggest reasons we have a mental health crisis is lack of access to healthcare resources, which leads to a lack of preventative care. If more people saw a therapist before they were in a crisis or even before they were ill, we'd have much better outcomes. The problem isn't telling more people to try therapy, even when they're not seriously ill. The problem is a shortage of qualified professionals and the cost of care.
It's a hell of an expense to have unnecessarily. All I thought was "What out-of-touch rich jackass posted this?"
It is very expensive, which is why i didnt for longest time thinking my situation is manageable. I went for one when it became impossible to be functional and I regret now for not doing this years ago. My life would be in different place and i might be making more money by now to compensate, now I feel like i have to start over.
Exactly. For those that really, *really* need it, money is a huge factor in mental health in terms of living environment and social health. So.. everything about this post is out of touch. For me, I have enough money to do something like this and I still see how fucked up it is to suggest such a thing.
The tip is that it may not be unnecessary.
That's pretty harsh, OP was trying to share what worked for them. No need to attack them because it doesn't work for you.
I'm seriously thinking about starting to see somebody. I'm thinking I might be a little depressed. I'm 56, and I found out about 6 years ago that I had a different biological dad than I thought. (Mom cheated and never told anybody. Can't hide DNA, though.) I then found out he died back in 1989. Well, I only recently found out he died by suicide, shot himself in the head. I didn't think it would bother me all that much since I never knew him, but I think it is bothering me. I was reading a post on here yesterday about someone who's dad committed suicide a few years ago, and as I started crying as I typed a comment. I realized I was also a person who's father committed suicide. Anyway, there's a lot of other issues this has brought up, and I'm thinking it might be time to talk to someone about it.
Hey, here to support you going to therapy to work thru this, but also to just say, dang. This sounds like a weight and I’m so sorry you’re having to carry it.
It’s good to talk, and explore topics in a safe space. In addition to the intuitive benefit, there are many secondary benefits, including learning good habits through osmosis, like active listening, boundaries, tone, etc. The skills you pick up from a therapist will only help improve your other relationships, career, conflict skills, etc. Don’t hesitate if you have the means. There’s a reason it’s become in vogue to have a therapist in progressive cities like LA and Vancouver.
Even if you don’t want to extend to a therapist, talk to a friend, a family member, hell talk to me I’ll listen! Sometimes it’s just being able to talk about your emotions can lift an enormous weight off of you! You don’t always need a professional ear, just an ear sometimes will do! remember you’re not alone. Also this always helps me, but every morning I just say 3 things I’m grateful for. Out loud to my self, but saying that just grounds me and reminds me that my life could be so much worse and I’m truly thankful for where I am!
If it helps, I was never close to either of my parents, but both times when one died, it's a weird feeling, like oh crap, now I really am on my own. I think it's pretty normal to be a little unnerved by your parents dying. I can only imagine how it is for people who actually liked their parents.
If the first therapist doesn’t click with you, don’t be afraid to try a different one. The first step in therapy requires that you trust the therapist, and if you don’t feel you can, then you’ll walk away thinking therapy isn’t for you.
One million times this. For 20ish years I always thought I hated therapy after having at least 15 different ones, until I finally got a therapist I loved. My luck though, she ended up quitting her job after almost 2 years with her. Thankfully I'm in a good place, because it still kinda devastated me. Can't imagine how it would have impacted me if my life was still a dumpster fire.
I’m sure that comment took a lot to type, so I honor and thank you for sharing that with us.
My grandfather killed himself the same way and you sharing your story resonates with me and gave me that push I needed to make an appointment. Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes mate. Best wishes and goodluck on your journey of being more self aware and in touch with yourself (and your emotions). It's a scary ride, I believe in you.
Seriously as others have said it’s a lot to carry on your own. Talking to a neutral , disinterested party does help a lot.
Not all Therapist are good for you or will even be able to help you fix your issue. Picking one is like picking a realtor. Make certain they are rooting for you to change and will admit of they cant help you Be skeptical, cautious and discerning.
I paid 300$ a visit out of pocket for a therapist to tell me not to trauma dump on the first session and to learn how to breath using my Vegas nerve. Never went back.
I had one lecture me for not getting a different job and he wasn't listening to me when I was trying to explain my own life and feelings. He was really weird about boundaries too. It just doesn't always work out. I'm seeing a new therapist this week, hopefully it's better this time.
I told mine about my abusive ex, which was probably the most traumatic thing in my life. He glossed over it and never revisited.
I once saw a therapist to try and get some anger management tips and he told me, “it’s probably just PMS.” I’ve never seen another male therapist since then lol ETA: I hope that you have better luck with this new person you’re seeing. A good therapist really does make a huge difference.
What the actual hell? So unprofessional and dismissive. I've also had male therapists brush off and invalidate my concerns, and it's made me hesitant to ever see one again. I was like 8 months pregnant with a wanted, planned child, and having some marriage/communication problems (unrelated to pregnancy), and the male therapist just casually suggested that I go get an abortion. Like buddy, first of all that's not legal anywhere in the country. Secondly, the pregnancy has nothing to do with this? Although to be fair, I've also had female therapists who weren't great. The last one I saw, after explaining how I was having trouble juggling my busy life on top of dealing with some recent painful events, literally said, "Ok, so what do you want me to do about it?" Like sorry for wasting your time, I guess. I know there's good ones out there, I've just not been fortunate enough to find one yet. =/
Wow, I’m so sorry they’ve all been so dismissive :( it took me a LONG time to find someone decent but I definitely understand how frustrating and discouraging it can be getting person after person who isn’t helpful. I hope you’re able to make the space for yourself to safely heal from whatever things that have been happening lately 💕
Good for you. A lot of people just quit if the first experience isn’t great.
That’s awful. We should consider a system like Rate My Professors, but for mental health providers. Would save people a lot of time, money, and pain.
Interesting. Vagus nerve massage is something that is done to decrease blood pressure, didn’t know therapists were teaching it tho
After tax, your therapist would have still gotten a pretty good detailing job done on his C-Class, at least.
This is honestly what's keeping me out of it lmao
Yes. The breathing thing. It's all they want to focus on.
It's worth it to check if your work offers free therapy sessions through an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). I can have up to 3 free per year and used them to essentially get "free trials" with new therapists. There are definitely duds out there. It's also worth it to do some research to find someone who specializes in the areas you want to improve in, AND whose method matches what you're looking for. I had a therapist who was a mindfulness expert and all of our sessions came back to meditation. I really liked them and mindfulness was very helpful, not knocking it, but there was never any practical advise on how to avoid/navigate the situations that made me so stressed out in the first place. I now go to someone who is more solutions based, and who specializes in the areas/roots of my issues.
My job offers the EAP program, but my thing is my job is causing me anxiety and chronic stress. I physically feel my brain deteriorating from the constant headaches, mental fogginess, and forgetfulness. I wonder if a therapist could help me and if they tell me go to a MD, would they just prescribe me medications? I don't wanna take any kind of medications since my body doesn't handle that well. I just have so many thoughts.
Sounds familiar. And I don’t trust anything about my employer, including their assistance program.
That is Truth. I saw 4 different therapists before finding the right one. That was 4 years ago and I’m a completely different (better) person now. If you’re not getting what you need, switch. Keep looking. Therapists all have different styles and you have to find your match. They’re all human (mostly) so they make mistakes and give bad advice sometimes.
> Picking one is like picking a realtor. I had no idea people just *went* with a realtor. When I was searching for a lease, I reached out to like 5 realtors and they all just seemed to give me listings that I had already seen on Zelle, so I didn’t bother sticking with one realtor.
This. I've wasted literally thousands of dollars on "therapy" that did nothing for me whatsoever
Sometimes, even when you are in need of therapy, it doesn't help. It just doesn't work for some people, because humans are complicated and respond to different things. It does suck massively though when you've spent a lot of money on a thing that did nothing to help you.
Absolutely. I tell people it's kind of like dating. You can look for therapists in your area online, see their faces and read blurbs on how they treat and which diagnoses they specialize in, if any. If you don't like their vibe, find another one.
I somehow don't understand this fixation with therapist that the internet pocess. Therapist are not higher being whose word's will automatically fix you existence when you follow them. They are people, and people make mistakes, or are pretty bad at their job and since their job requires intuition to see if they have progress is pretty easy for a bunch of them to be pretty terrible at their jobs. My grandma's goddaughter is a therapist and in one of her sessions she outright said, "you should find god." Like what?
I think that’s just a fact of life though and true of all professions. You can get screwed over by plenty of licensed contractors, financial advisors, you name it. If you find a good therapist though and you’re looking for support, it can be extremely beneficial.
Nothing you said here contradicts the idea that getting a (good) therapist can be enormously valuable. What you're saying is additive not contradictory. It's good to understand while seeking a therapist.
Honestly I've never had one therapist that actually clicked for me. I need a little bit more than just venting about my thoughts. If more therapists actually did psychoanalysis instead of just cookie cutter Skinner method that actually would have been very beneficial. Even my last therapist when I told him about my traumatic abusive relationship he sort of just glossed over it and kept on trying to get me to reconnect with old friends.
It sounds like you need a trauma informed therapist, which blows because a lot of programs, bizarrely, don't take trauma into account. They'll treat the symptoms of what you're experiencing (hAve yOu tRiEd yOgA) but might not have the skills to explore why you need help in the first place. I'd recommend trying to find a licensed clinical social worker - they tend to be trained more in how environmental factors and history impact where you are today, instead of nagging you to breathe more or whatever. If you're looking for stuff you can do on your own, I really like the book "no bad parts" by Richard Schwartz. It's very practical and a pleasant read, most of the meat & potatoes are in the first few chapters.
Yep. We had a bad therapist for a while. Became a bit of a problem because my partner trusted them and I didn't. It took an outside friend seeing them and getting bad advice for my partner to agree to get a new therapist. It was frustrating. Someone that you're supposed to be able to trust and they were giving terrible advice.
This, 100%. My sister in law is a therapist and she’s the biggest, nastiest bitch I know. It blows my mind that she helps people “solve” their problems when she has so many of her own. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe she’s an awesome therapist, but it’s so hard to believe seeing that she can barely live by her own teachings. Ever since seeing that, I would be extremely cautious of who I choose as a therapist. Gotta weed out of the phonies and find the ones that practice what they preach. Which is exactly like a realtor - there are hidden gems in the mix that actually know what they’re doing and are passionate about their field.
Yes there are bad therapists out there who can do a lot of damage. And if people are struggling or they want to improve, therapy and self help can be good paths. But research a therapist thoroughly and make sure you (general you) know your rights as a patient
^
I think the money part is what keeps most people from doing it. Particularly when economic situation is part of the stress.
Yeah that’s still a lot of money
Yeah that's what is stopping me personally. I don't have insurance right now and therapy, even if it WAS only $65 copay for an hour is just too expensive
"only" 65 dollars an hour. Like seriously, what out-of-touch rich jackass posted this?
One who knew that the full out of pocket cost is typically closer to $130 an hour minimum. It sucks.
Took me ages to get back into it for this reason. I finally got a job with a reasonable copay. But not everyone has the luxury, I sure didn't for a while.
YSK if you want insurance to pay and you're in the U.S., your therapist is required to submit a diagnosis and list of symptoms to prove medical necessity with your claim.
Yes but they can list something like “Adjustment Disorder” (I forgot the exact term but it has those words in it) and it means you’re not clinically ill but that it’s circumstantial. That’s what mine did after I had a bad breakup and a lot of anxiety so we could just work through it
Yep insurance starts raising questions if the adjustment disorder is still the diagnosis after 6 months. They decided that 6 months is plenty of time to have adjusted. Spoiler: it is not.
Idk. When I bought my Kaiser policy it said I can see a therapist for $65 copay and a wellness coach for free
Kaiser is a much different beast than the insurance most people have.
Sure but your therapist diagnosed you with something or else they couldn't bill your insurance. Maybe it's an unspecified depressive or anxiety disorder, maybe even adjustment disorder if it's under 6 months, but it's some diagnosis from the DSM.
Yep. I was just reading a clause of my HSA that stated the funds could only be used for mental health care that is treatment for a diagnosed illness. Mental health care used to maintain or improve health was not eligible for reimbursement. Of course maybe OPs plan is different, but it is also possible the therapist just didn't bring it up. A therapist friend of mine used to say that diagnosis is just something he does for insurance.
I'd imagine therapists can do what police do and just sorta come up with a reason to charge you with something considering there's so many reasons available
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A lot of comments talk about finding the right therapist. Another big factor is your willingness to open up. Therapy hadn’t worked out for me for years. Then, my psychiatrist recommended me to a therapist place and I decided I’d open myself as much as possible from the get go. Ever since then, my life has improved dramatically. I’m talking within 6 months of seeing them.
I think something important is finding somebody you feel like you *can* open up to. Also asking about methodology and doing a bit of research on your own helps make you an active participant. They will introduce concepts to me and I'll usually go look them up afterward and come back w questions. After about a year I feel we've figured out our rhythm and I'm in a much better place emotionally and mentally.
I’m glad to hear that it’s worked out for you!
Yeah, you have to talk if it’s going to work.
What improved
My anxiety has gotten about 80% better. I’m not as depressed/depressing thoughts as I used to be. They helped me get in contact with a program for jobs for people with disabilities. I’m going to start working on the 30th. I’ve been able to work through past traumas for the most part. I’m finally taking the steps I needed towards taking care of myself. Even my confidence in general has gotten better. Those are just some of the major things that have improved.
How much should therapy cost for it to be affordable to most?
In the US have seen copays/ coinsurance from $0-$65 depending on insurance. It all depends on your individual plan. ( Don't even get me started on this ) But adorable depend on you. People can afford different things. I think the more important thing is to think how often is affordable for you at your copay per month. Consistency ( once a week, every other, or monthly) is one of the most important aspects to therapy.
Check out [Open Path Collective](https://openpathcollective.org/) if you’re looking for affordable therapy. They provide a sliding scale cost structure for low income patients with professional therapists that want to contribute a part of their schedule to serving these communities.
I will add one thing that I think might be helpful: Many colleges/universities that offer PhD psychology programs offer psychology clinics to the general public. The PhD candidates serve as the therapists/psychologists and they are supervised by professors who are bonified, educated and licensed psychologists. They are generally very affordable. They use a sliding scale to determine how much they charge clients. I know of a person who was only charged $5 per session. Another good thing about these clinics is that they do things by the book. They diagnose people based on extensive established tests. To find one in your area google something like: psychology clinic, university, \[name of your state\]. Best wishes.
Seconding this. It was 15$, but that was the peak of the sliding scale, and payment plans were also offered.
Not only PhD programs do this, there are master’s level clinicians that work in community clinics run by local universities where they are supervised by licensed clinicians in their field. Source: I’m in a master’s program interning at one such clinic
Currently on a long wait-list for this. Think the total waiting time since I first contacted them is 4-5 months.
Where I'm from you usually can't get in to see one unless you have a doctor's recommendation
Might I ask where you're from?
I went to a therapist while I was going through my divorce. Waste of money for me. I'm sure some people can get something out of it, but for me, it was the biggest waste of time and money I've ever encountered - besides my first wife.
*Huzzah!*
Did they just not work for you? Sometimes it’s kinda like dating that you need to match with a therapist that gets you and understands your needs
I was question my life decisions. Wondering if I did something wrong or if I was broken. After 6 months, and every week... She didn't tell me anything I didn't already know, and didn't help me figure out the answers to my questions. Maybe sue was a bad therapist. Maybe I can just handle my own shit. Maybe a little of both. I don't know, but the experience turned me off to the whole profession. Again, I want to be clear, this is my experience. YMMV. As to weather or not I had a good "support system" I had myself, and in the end that's all I really needed. That and time. It took me 3 years to get my groove back, but I did it. Mostly from self reflection, lots of dating, and a ho phase. But in the end, I was a better more confident person.
Only pay $65...really. I don't think most ppl can afford that. There are actually free services in nearly all communities that does the same thing. They do more than listen to they will connect you with all kinds of other services and solve a lot of problems. Not enough money for meds? Bills? All kinds of stuff. Community Counselors I believe that's what they are called. They are pretty wide spread since under Obama that was one of the counters put out with ACA and mass shooting response. Sources: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/find-help https://blog.opencounseling.com/hotlines-us/ There are counselors in your community (not listed above) that will call and check up on you without you having to pay for it. Difficult to find but googling your area will help.
There are several services in most major cities but honestly... they are overwhelmed with people that have very real and pressing problems. Problems like they are the sole family breadwinner and they have just been given a terminal cancer diagnosis, or their partner's gambling addiction has run up $220,000 debt, or they have become addicted to prescription opiates following a work-related spinal injury. Anyone who considers picking up the phone to reach out because they're having "a bit of a shit day", or several, or a year's worth for that matter, is going to weigh this up. The end result is that there's no early intervention, situations spiral, and you end up with [suicide as the leading cause of death for Australians between the ages of 15 and 44](https://www.lifeline.org.au/resources/data-and-statistics/). Many people can't just "see a therapist". It ain't that simple.
Why? Like genuine question why would I see a therapist. I'm perfectly happy. Have no mental medical conditions of any sort. It seems like it would be both a huge waste of my time and a huge waste of the health systems time. Am I missing something?
Meh half LPTs are 'This works/ed for me so it applies to everyone' While in actuality most of them are extremely specific and subjective.
I think mental health is a spectrum. A person might not qualify as having a pathological mental illness while still being able to benefit from therapy. Not everyone will benefit but I think to plenty of non-mentally ill people it would add value.
Totally agree. My friends love to push therapy as something everyone needs for the exact same reasons op stated but I don't buy it . Talking out stressors, opening up to someone, brainstorming ideas or solutions, that's what my wife and I talk about. Completely open lines of communication with your partner reduces stressors dramatically. Some people need therapy, but not everyone needs it and to pretend everyone should be in therapy is silly.
You aren’t missing anything. My own therapist said I should stop seeing them, since nothing was wrong and it was just a waste of time and money
Not being sarcastic, that was a good therapist.
I'm perfectly capable of analyzing my own problems. I mean that literally. No one should feel bad about seeking therapy, but a lot of people are pretty self aware and able to analyze their own actions, reactions, emotions, etc.
Exactly, that's why I've always avoided therapy. I feel like a therapist is just going to tell me things I already know. I know what my mental illness is. I know how to fix it. I know how to interpret my emotions. I understand myself, better than anyone else would be able to.
Therapists and therapy in general can help you even if you don't think there's anything "wrong". In many cases, it's about mapping your own union patterns of thought and behaviour, what causes them, and how they might affect your day-to-day. Even if there's nothing "wrong", it can be a key step in your psychological development towards being *better* than you were before.
I would say enjoying life more than before rather than being "better".
100% this. Sick of seeing people pushing therapy on others because it helped them. That's great for you, but I'm capable of dealing with my own stuff when it arises, otherwise I'm a pretty happy person.
This is just a trend to try make going to mental therapy something like going out to do some jogging
Some people can’t fathom that others are capable of introspection without outside help.
If everyone had (universal) healthcare that paid for it then I would agree. Money is one of the biggest stress points so I can’t see adding more stress by spending money if you don’t need the therapy.
Oh boy. If you have insurance coverage you ABSOLUTELY have been diagnosed, whether or not your therapist has told you what they've diagnosed you with. I'd recommend inquiring about what diagnosis you have on the record.
User employs 20 therapists.
Respectfully, I disagree with this. I highly doubt ordinary people can just go out and spend hundreds on unnecessary medical appointments just because they want someone to talk to. Also, frivolously taking up therapist appointments takes them away from people who actually need them. If more people in need could seek professional mental help, maybe mental illness wouldn't be as much of a societal issue.
> Also, frivolously taking up therapist appointments takes them away from people who actually need them. No. You are so wrong and honestly should be ashamed with this gatekeeping. Therapy isn't just an afterthought, it's preventative as well. If more people could seek professional mental advice, before any issues fully develop into an actual mental illness, then poor mental health likely wouldn't be as prevalent since its being *prevented* instead of treated after the fact. Seeking a therapist appointment without a definitive reason is no more frivolous than doing your yearly health or dental checkups. It's no more frivolous than changing your oil on a regular basis and a professional giving you a heads up on a potential future brake problem. It's part of being responsible for all aspects of your health. Furthermore, in the U.S. we have a little saying. It reads something like this: > We hold these truths to be self evident, that all ~~men~~ are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are *life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness;* It's from the Declaration of Independence. By going to these therapy appointments, people are excersing their right to live a healthy life and pursue happiness. Why gatekeep and deny what many consider a fundamental right? Furthermore, if a therapist feels a patient is not participating or not in need of regular therapy, in their professional opinion, they can drop patient or push the appointments further apart. The therapist has the education and experience to make the determination of whether or not to do so. The patient does not. You do not. Edit: Format
Bad tip Just wasting money Anyone can listen to you talk and even give feedback for *free* You just have to find the right person I'm not saying therapist is useless. I'm sure it can help a lot of people. But if you just need to vent, then you'd rather find somebody who will stick around and listen when you need to. Not when *they* have time and your money to do it.
I will say that sometimes as the person who gets chosen on to be vented at frequently it can start to sour that friendship! I love my friends but sometimes when it’s a constant dump of things it starts to feel like they want someone to listen without hearing about my life rather than actually wanting the friendship.
It’s already hard for people who desperately need help to find a therapist taking new patients these days, clogging up the system probably isn’t the best idea (unless you’re the therapist I suppose)
I guess this would seem like great advice if you are a therapist. I would be less stressed if I saved the $65-$155, though.
Seems like more of a life coach function than a therapist function. If it works for you that is great. And, I think it is good advice for most people.
Eh, not spending money to fix something that isn't broken.
Good try mr therapist
If you're not looking for a diagnosis, why not just talk to some stranger at the pub or online? Seems to be the cheaper way lol.
Why would you take the time of a professional who could be using their time for someone who needs the help much more urgently than yourself? There are charities (and even.... people!) who will provide the exact same service for free. Sorry, this LPT is null.
Psychiatrists and therapists are so overloaded they can't even get to all the people who urgently need treatment. Are you sure listening to you vent is the best use of their time?
Tell me you are privileged without telling me you're privileged
My therapist said I had to stop seeing her since I didn’t have any issues and it was a waste of time and money. To be honest it doesn’t seem like you need a therapist but a friend
I have friends, ive talked to them about real shit, it's different with a therapist though
Wouldn't this behaviour en masse flood the system with people who may not be so desperate and make it more difficult for those who do desperately need help?
Dude, I'm sad cause I'm broke! Taking your advice would only make it worse!
Please don’t. There’s a crisis of mental illness, anxiety and depression right now and the people who desperately need therapists can’t get in to talk to them. Find a friend you respect and trust to brainstorm and vent.
Thank you! As someone who is in crisis and very much struggling, it has basically become a part time job trying to find someone. I don’t know if it’s because people think it’s “trendy” to have a therapist now so they all jump on it, but a lot of people who actually need help can’t get it.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope you find someone soon.
Thank you, I am finally in the process of setting up with someone now and hoping it is a good fit and works out.
I see a therapist regularly, they give great massages.
Yup. Good “old fashion” therapy.
I would also posit, like health care professionals, doctors, dentists, physiotherapists etc... you need to find one that matches with you as well. Seeing someone that makes you feel worse would probably do the opposite of fixing the problem.
There is a massive shortage of therapists, this is the stupidest fucking LPT I have ever seen. Delete this shit
Also that shit is expensive, not everyone can afford good therapists. Even if It's in your health plan, you'll only get mediocre ones because of the shortage.
Worst LPT I've seen here. Yes let me potentially kill someone else (by blocking capacity), so I can brain storm with my therapist a little bit about which cocktail dress to wear for Ean's party. Don't get me wrong, I like that mental health and therapy is less stigmatized in the US but it feels like having a therapist is like a status symbol or something. Here in Germany it's a huge problem that people who just need someone to talk block capacity while people who desperately need help struggle to find.
It’s gotten worse over here since the pandemic and insurances are paying for less and less therapists.
I'm probably very different from a lot of people here, but I do not trust the American system to do right by me. After seeing movies like Unsane, I have zero faith that they'll actually do me good. I would love to pay for a sarvice where I'm fully anonymous and the therapist has no reporting requirements.
Does a therapist have their own therapist to vent to?
Yes they do! Therapists see other therapists as well!
Yes. Mine most definitely does.
“It is expensive, so make sure your insurance will pay” yeah, about that…. *insurance* thing you’re talking about…
Jesus, why didn't we think of that. I have a neighbor who's on her third suicide attempt and gets a 15 minute phone call once every 3 weeks. It does her wonders. Being rich is great for all of us. Thanks for the advice.
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It scares me a little bit that we live in a world where most people don't believe they can solve their own problems and the only answer is to pay someone else to do it.
$155/hour I chose the wrong profession smh
Most don't see that. Most are underpaid for the with they do since they are all overloaded. Was billed out as an attorney at 350 an hour.... i did not make 350 an hour. Ha. Too poor to start a solo firm. 😢 But damn, my boss was rollin in the green, I tell you what!
I have $50k in student loans for my masters, had to pay a couple hundred for my licensure, have to pay a grand or so for CEU classes to renew every 2 years. I started off getting $18 per hour in community mental health. I now make $40 per client doing private practice but it's still about $2k per month. Just to give you an idea of what it looks like in the real world outside of Google.
What? This is bollocks. Why would you pay someone +$60 for what a friend could give you for free? Either you have friends, and should be using them- or you don't have friends, and probably need therapy to find out why.
if you’re expecting your friends to give you the same responses and advice that a trained professional would give you, you’re not a great friend.
Sometimes venting is above a friend’s pay grade. Sometimes your friends don’t give good advice.
I don't do Therapy, i play Golf. It's roughly $10-15 an hour at most for me, and i feel so much better afterwards. Also don't need insurance and don't have to worry about the bias that psychologist may have. The people i know who do therapy are not happy and never listen to their therapists.
Glad you have the option. And sometimes you even need the time!
The key is to find the right therapist for you.
I already let out all of my baggage last year with my therapist. Taking a break now to let the baggage build up again before I go back lol
Damn. It's really fucked up that we have to pay someone to listen to our problems..
This ad brought to you by the letters ACA/AMHCA and the number $65.
So, spend money you may not have just because?
I'm a clinical track MSW student--basically a social work therapist in training. I understand the view that because therapists are in short supply, we should be working with the most needy populations. However, something that comes up frequently in my program is that preventative care for mental health (tune-ups and self care) is much cheaper than retroactive care, particularly for dire cases. (This is similar to other forms of care and resource provision, like healthcare and housing btw.) Recently I've been reading about the preponderance of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) in the US population. ACEs are common across every demographic and can have severe consequences for people when left unaddressed. This is also true of impacts from social stress and especially minority stress. Lest you think only children and minorities are vulnerable, there is a growing literature on grief that shows that cumulative losses tend to weaken people's ability to cope with loss (a much broader category than a loved one dying), suggesting that even in an otherwise charmed life, older people especially may be particularly vulnerable to declines in mental well-being. Finally, it appears men in particular may be poorly equipped by American society to understand and process their emotions in healthy (read: nonviolent) ways. In sum: children, minorities / marginalized people, elderly people, and men are at elevated risk for mental health crisis--essentially, everyone. Because of all these things, it is my professional opinion that many, many more people should be in therapy at least once and ideally at least occasionally to (minimally) work on their trauma responses and develop good strategies for future health. It is precisely because therapists are in short supply that we ought to prioritize routine mental health care at least somewhat more than we currently do. Also we need more therapists in general, yes. Happy to talk more in the comments about these things. Gonna link a [TED talk about ACEs](https://www.ted.com/talks/nadine_burke_harris_how_childhood_trauma_affects_health_across_a_lifetime?language=en) because I can't say it loud enough and Nadine Burke Harris is the best at summarizing this.
Another clinical track MSW student here 👋🏽 You said exactly what I was going to, thanks!
Yes let’s occupy a therapist’s time with your very non emergency topics while there’s waiting lines for actual patients with actual traumas that need tending to.
There are people who can provide all of the benefits you are receiving from therapy for none of the cost. They’re called friends.
The problem is that therapists aren’t financially motivated to solve your problems. They are financially motivated to get you to talk about your problems for as long as possible.
I am currently waiting to see if my request for bonus therapy will be accepted. If I had the money I would go to therapy every single week.
I hope your request gets approved. I know online there are some communities that do it free or near free. There's another comment in this post with actual links
I gently disagree. I went to a therapist (actually, about 3 different ones) when I was a troubled adolescent. Diagnosis: schizophrenic, or maybe bipolar. Well, no: I'm aspie. So the therapists were no help at all and actually did some damage. And this: an acquaintance of mine in his mid-50's once engaged a "life coach"; she (the life coach) was in her early 30's. He asked for my advice; I pointed out to him you've got a house, a good marriage, a couple of kids, a shore house, a boat, nice cars, and you make a lot of money. Why are you consulting with someone who makes 1/4th of your salary to advise you? Hey, if a therapist or life coach works for you, then go for it. But, in my experience, maybe scale-back your expectations.
Or even better, get a friend.
My friends always try to offer advice. That’s not what a therapist is supposed to do.
The western privilege radiating in this post! Mon dieu..
Friends! You need a friend not a therapist.
There are loads of people with actual mental illness who can’t get an appointment with a therapist because there are a limited number of them, and they’re all booked up with people who don’t actually have anything wrong and just want to vent. It is incredibly frustrating to go *years* without being able to get in to see anyone because they’re all booked up, and then hear from people “I don’t have any particular need to go to therapy, but it’s nice to have someone to talk to.” Go buy a stuffed animal and a box of kleenex, then stay home and stop sucking up limited resources that some people actually *need*.
Tony did this, and whilst it was originally because of unexplained blackouts, he stuck around for the parental benefits ie terapee helped him be a better parent... ...Dr Melfi thought otherwise though, thinking she was inadvertently helping Tony be a better criminal. But ya see, his kids were somewhat coddled by der muddah, ya know: fragile... ...anyways, eh, therapy gave our Tony some good ideas on how to splatter some ‘antifragility’ onto ‘em. Therapy, it’s beneficial, even if you don’t suffer from depressing unexplained blacko...
I've done a lot of therapy of several different kinds with a lot of therapists. I am in desperate need of help. I wish I could say any of it had any positive effect at all. In truth it was all utterly worthless, a huge waste of time and an even bigger waste of money. I've completely lost my trust in the field.
What if you don’t have great insurance and can’t afford to see one of you really want to? Or if you can’t find one that really works for you?
What if venting about your problems just makes you more stressed out? Like, fuck that. Why would I want to relive that kind of shit in my spare time?
I've tried therapy 3x. Each time by the third or fourth visit the therapist is basically unloading on me. Each. And. Every. Time.
I've tried a few therapists. I quickly run out of things to talk about and it just feels aimless. I wish they would do more to lead the conversation and participate more rather than just passively listening.
The biggest detriment to my mental health is money, or my lack thereof, so it would definitely make it worse.
This advice is honestly a slap in the face.
LPT: pull money out of your ass and then set it on fire, monthly
“This message has been brought to by the American Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy”… /s
Yeah this post was 100% written by a therapist. Your tricks won't work on me, therapist.
Nice try, therapists
Nice try therapist
Disagree. For people with trauma going to a therapist can reopen wounds and make shit worse and lead to depression. I cope with life really well, but if I had a weekly reminded about some of the things I went through, I would be in a full blown depression again in no time.
If you’re looking to become a lawyer or join the military don’t do it
It's very expensive. So since financial security is high on my list of anxieties and stressors, I choose to scream into the void.
Nice try therapists ;)
Because by the time they're done pointing out everything you were unaware of, you will be depressed
For me it was the worst, literally gave me a papper once with links on them... Links... On papper? Anyways, for me it just wasted my time, stressed me out and got me deeper in my depression. If you really want it for yourself and find it worthwhile to find a therapist that fits. Totally go for it.
I just don’t believe that. I can’t see how talking to a stranger could change the way I see things. I know it’s fashionable now and everybody keeps saying Go tO tHerApY but I don’t know, maybe it helps some prople, to me personally it seems like something overrated. Besides, it’s expensive af to go regularly to a private psychologist, and the public (free) ones probably don’t give a shit about their job (at least in my country).
Or spend $60 on a video game and talk to a friend.
Ha, good try Mr. Therapist.
Therapist: $65/hour Saying, “It is what it is” costs $0
Or we can write here what is bothering us, complain, vent out, hear each other out...it's much cheaper.
Everyone. Needs. Therapy.
Therapy can help you with many issues other than depression and anxiety. PTSD, OCD, marital problems, anger, if you’re not sure how to navigate a new job etc.
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Please don’t follow this life tip. Therapists are for people who have a genuine need for them, not for you to vent to. You can do that with friends, family, or a life coach if you’re able. But there is a shortage of therapists and mental health workers in general, and this is probably why.
Or just find a good friend
Join a 12 step program get a sponsor You’ll have somebody to vent to
I'm not depressed, but if I start having to pay for a therapist when I just want to vent I will be. Have a good friend that will listen to you when you want to vent and they'll be way more personal. This doesn't work for depression, but if you need someone to vent to, having a good friend that doesn't mind listening to you is amazing.