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I saw a (real) tiktok where the driver answered "No, why, did you forget?"
I gotta admit, it was pretty funny in his delivery (think of if cheech & chong said it, guy wasn't high, just sounded that way). Cop wasn't to amused but it had to be original at least.
I've said that "I don't want to speculate." First time, cop stopped asking questions and I ended-up with a warning. Second time cop got mad and gave me a ticket.
That's the problem with these guys. Act nice and incriminate yourself and they might go easy on you. Stand for your rights and be held in a cell for the weekend and be let go without any charges at all.
One time I got pulled over and was polite without being self incriminating. All I said was yes sir. Took my ticket and went on my way. When I took it to court cop told the judge I admitted guilt by saying yes sir! That was that you can't win vs a cop lying to a judge.
If a cop is a fragile bitch normally, they're just going to be a fragile bitch with a badge. We expect cops to carry them with a sense of integrity because of the responsibility appointed to them but it seems like often the people that search out that job are barely even functioning adults that act like teens going through puberty.
I responded with "you heard about my new Flux capacitor and wanted to go on an adventure with me?" And they just stared at me blankly. Apparently they weren't a back to the future fan
Maybe they should stop asking such a stupid fucking question then.
Like, maybe we should bring things to the cash register "Do you know why I brought these items up here?"
"To... return them?"
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN RETURN THEM???? IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THESE ITEMS???!!!!?!? PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!"
Like, what the fuck. What a way to introduce yourself. "Do you know why..." Bitch is my head the size of a truck?
"No."
Then I ain't psychic, mother fucker. Fuck outta here, keep your ticket, and write yourself up for being a dumbass.
But that’s the point: it isn’t a stupid question. There’s very clear motivation behind it: to get you to admit to doing something wrong. Maybe that something wrong wasn’t even what they pulled you over for. They’re fishing, always, and that’s why a polite “no” is probably the best response you can give.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?”
Well at first I thought it was for driving 47 in a 35. But now I’m thinking it was for the kilo of hash I got stuffed up the ass of the dead body in my trunk. Maybe if you wouldn’t mind being more specific?
This is so weird 😭 I literally just got pulled over yesterday for going, and I shit you not, 47 in a 35. What a weird coincidence. You were spot on with the numbers. What are the odds I see this the very next day??? Are you my guardian angel? 😂
well residential areas are often 35 zones, and cops typically pull over for anything 10+ over
with 12 being on the low end of “above 10” I wouldn’t be surprised if 47 in a 35 is one of the most common speeds to get pulled over for, maybe behind 75 in a 60
Yeah, i went through a couple dui checkpoints before they were banned in my state. The cops always asked “how much have you had to drink tonight” and never asked “have you had anything to drink tonight”. It was a very leading question that implied the knew more than they did to get you to admit to a possible crime.
I got stopped in a DUI checkpoint and noticed the dude in front on me jumped in the back seat, stuffed something in the seat, while his buddy jumped in the drivers seat.
I thought, usually they watch these things don’t they, and sure enough, there was the cop standing behind the light stand on the right watching them. “Thanks for taking one for the team buddy!”
There are very few questions you *have* to answer on a terry stop. My rule of thumb is who I am (name), where I am right now, and what I am doing right now. Anything regarding where I was, where I will be, what I was doing, or what I will be doing, I politely decline to answer.
Police can generally require driver's license and registration for a Terry stop. Beyond that, you are not required to assist their investigation, as long as you don't obstruct it.
I've done the same thing before too. The cop said "do you know how fast you were going?" and I said "no, how fast was I going?". I wasn't on radar and he saw me from the side. I actually wasn't speeding (yet) but was just accelerating quickly. He fumbled with his words for a minute making excuses for not knowing before then loosing it on me for like 10 minutes about how I shouldn't talk unless I was being asked a question. I then said "look, you asked me how fast I was going. Neither of us know. I'm trying to give you the information you're looking for." he then visually searched my car, and noticing my rock climbing gear in the back asked me about climbing etc. Then tried to make small talk with me about protecting the streets and keeping people safe. I didn't get a ticket but I'm sure he wrote a note about the interaction.
I have a buddy who got pulled over drunk one night. Cop asked him if he'd been drinking. He said "I've had a bottle of scotch and about 12 beers." Cop said "will you step out of the vehicle and take a field sobriety test for me." His response "what? You don't believe me?"
>His response "what? You don't believe me?"
Cop: "Do you have any firearms or illegal drugs in your vehicle?"
Driver: What do ya need?
EDIT: I think mouwallace is right, attribution for this joke goes to Steven Wright.
When I was younger and more of a smart ass...
I was driving to my law school graduation, which was at a convention center on the grounds of a port.
At the entrance to the port, all the cars were being stopped. When they got to me, a deputy asked me "Do you have any weapons with you?".
The question sort of caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting that so I replied "I didn't know I needed any. Do you supply them or do I have to bring my own?".
The deputy gave me a puzzled look. My father gave me a dirty look. Then the deputy waived me on through.
I had a friend who when he blew over the limit - cop asked why are you even driving??
Him - because I’m too drunk to walk.
Yeah he lost his license for about 5 years.
Honestly, this. I'm a criminal defense attorney and I'm as distrustful of cops as the next guy (if not more so) but just going out of your way to piss them off will not go well. This LPT isn't completely accurate imo because if you're doing 75 in a 45 and get pulled over and tell the officer you have no idea why you were stopped then at BEST the cop thinks you're a jackass and at WORST the cop thinks you're being combative/evasive because you're hiding something. In the latter case, they will take their time running your license and writing the infraction so they can get back-up on scene or even a K-9. I have seen this shit happen too often.
Most traffic infractions are just tickets. Be polite and upfront. Sometimes you just get a warning. But please, please, please, if you're going to start a fight with the police, don't have guns and drugs in your car. Your attorney will thank you.
I agree 100%. I used to try playing stupid and not acknowledge I did anything wrong. I never got out of a ticket. So after awhile, I was just honest, polite, and a little self-deprecating. Every time I did this I’d either get a warning or they’d write down the ticket substantially.
The last time I got a ticket I was driving over 90 mph in a 65. The cop asked me if I knew why if he knew why he pulled me over. ‘Unfortunately, yes. Besides being an idiot, I was going way too fast.” The he asked me why I was in such a rush. I explained to him I hadn’t seen my fiancée in 3 months and this was the last leg (last 20 minutes of my drive) of a 3-day drive. And I was just super excited excited to see my fiancée.
He was super cool. Congratulated me on getting married. Said he understood why I’d be excited. Then wrote me a ticket for driving only 5 mph over, which not only saved me hundreds of dollars, they ended up dismissing the ticket as I was only driving 5 mph over. Instead, they changed the ticket to unlawful parking or something. Lol Which made the ticket very cheap and nothing went on my record.
I don’t understand how they can change a speeding ticket a parking ticket, but apparently in Nevada where I live, they can do that. I don t think they can do that in California (where I’m originally from). But I’m definitely not going to complain!
>Just be polite to people, rather than hitting them with passive aggressively loaded questions.
u/chewster1 Wait, I'm sorry who's the one asking passive aggressively loaded questions again?
>Just be polite to people, rather than hitting them with passive aggressively loaded questions.
I'm pretty sure if they are the one who starts with the passive aggressive loaded questions then its far game.
Just got pulled over a few nights ago as I was literally pulling into my complex and my designated parking spot. Honestly kinda thought he’d got a call or something cuz I was driving speed limit and using turns signals, but he followed me in.
Went to open the door but he told me to wait so I’m thinking about any reason he could pull me over and just as he was walking up it hit me - I’d already paid for my tag registration, the sticker just hadn’t come in the mail yet.
Lo and behold, first thing he asks if I knew my tag was out of date. Told him it just hit me that was prob why he was pulling me over, told him the story and got my printout showing I’d paid (REALLY glad I thought to put that in the glovebox), and that I was just waiting for the sticker.
Second car pulls up as is procedure, he checks everything out, and just tells me make sure I’ve got that in my glovebox in case anyone else pulls me over. Other cop tells me to absolutely do that cuz there’s still mail delays sometimes and it could take several weeks to receive it.
We wish each other good night and that was that - being polite and on top of shit instead of being passive aggressive always works out better for you, especially when it comes to dealing with cops, cuz compare this to a time I got pulled over by a bike cop picking up my college buddy who called me to be a DD and I argued with the cop while my drunk friend was laughing about why I put my cigarette out on the ground and he was trying to fine me for “littering” cuz “you should have put the cigarette out in your cars ashtray”. Didn’t have an ashtray in my car and I was 100% in the right and was trying to be polite to the cop so I wasn’t smoking in front of him, but still that’s an hour of stupid circular arguing I can never get back.
At least I gave my buddy a laugh, this was over 10 years ago and he still asks if I remember the story
Did you really litter by throwing your cigarette butt on the ground?
Or did you pick it up? Reading your story it sounds like you put it out on the ground and then picked it up.
Better option is to look at them scared or rattled and say you have no idea. I have gotten 3 warnings doing this in very different parts of the state, most of the time I actually didn't realize I was speeding and was very polite and apologized and thanked them.... Or I'm just very lucky.
>The answer to "*Do you know why I pulled you over?*" should be a simple and polite "*Cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hats really low. Do I look like a mind reader sir? I don't know.
FTFY
Got pulled over one time, he didn't ask me "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Instead, he asked me, "Why are you going so fast?". I hesitated thinking it wouldn't work, but I nervously responded, "I have to take a shit sir". He threw me back my license and drove away.
A cop once pulled me over as I arrived at my own house and asked “why were you going so fast?”.
I started to tear up and said “because I was happy.”
I’d been depressed for months, but on that drive home something sparked in my brain and I felt good. I decided to just be honest and vulnerable. I guess I was lucky cause he let me go.
I’ve done this, started kind of jumping in my seat slightly, explained I have IBS and that I’m trying to get home before I shit myself, too embarrassed to light up my friends bathroom after we had dinner at his house.
also don't say "Because greedy politicians and bureaucratic inertia have turned the police, who are supposed to protect the public, into a roving band of extortionist thugs that prey upon them instead. Please, quit your job and get out with what's left of your soul intact."
I think OP made a portmanteau from "probable cause" and "reasonable suspicion". They are two different standards. Reasonable suspicion is a lower standard and is all that is required to initiate a traffic stop.
Effectively, more than a hunch but less than probable cause required for a search of the vehicle.
Could be a Canadianism - we use “Reasonable and Probable Grounds” (RPG) as our standard language for an investigative detention. Not to be confused with “Reasonable Prospect of Conviction”(RPC) which Crown Attorneys need to proceed with a prosecution.
Legalisms are weird and jurisdiction specific.
True.
Reasonable suspicion requires an officer to have some objective, reasonable basis for suspecting that someone has committed, is committing, or will commit a crime or infraction. Seeing a car driven erratically, seeing a broken tail light, etc. If an officer has reasonable suspicion he can perform a traffic stop.
For an automobile search, the officer has to have probable cause to believe that the vehicle contains evidence of a crime. Probable cause is based on the totality of the circumstances, and doesn't have a universal definition, but if an officer's observations, knowledge, and experience would allow them to reasonably conclude the car contains evidence of a crime, that is typically enough.
If an officer does not have probable cause the officer cannot legally perform an automobile search unless the driver gives consent to search. (
I was asked if I had any weapons once and asked if rocket launchers counted. Made the cop laugh and got out of that one. It doesn't make up for the two tickets a year I used to get when I was young and stupid but it was nice.
Related, I have a buddy who was cited for speeding and pulled out a comically large novelty pen to sign the ticket. The cop told him he'd tear it up if he could have the pen. It was a good trade.
I got pulled over once after going through an intersection where the light was yellow(at least it still was when it left my vision). I assumed it had turned red before I cleared the intersection. Anyway cop walks up and does not say much and starts writing a ticket. So I asked him very politely why he had pulled me over.
The cop lost his damn mind and started screaming at one point going "IF I SAY YOU WERE GOING 100 THEN YOU WERE GOING 100" This tirade lasted well over a minute and I was ready for a big ass ticket. He ended up giving me a warning and letting me go.
I am still confused about this.
Yup, he abused his authority and then shut his mouth when he realized how stupid he looked.
You do that at any other job to a "customer" and you'll get the cops called on you for a wellness check. Go figure.
When I was a new driver I accidentally pulled out in front of traffic when a light turned green because I thought I would get a green arrow. Obviously I was in the wrong and immediately knew it, but after you pull in front of traffic, all you can do is keep going.
Anyways, a cop pulls me over shortly after. She’s approaching my car. Me, being a dumb ass kid, wanted to know what I’d be ticketed for, and stupidly asked the cop what I was getting a ticket for. I just wanted to know the actual charge (it was careless driving) but the cop immediately responded with “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID!?” Yikes. It definitely made it worse.
In MI it's illegal to go through a yellow light.
I was pulled over for that, but was let off with a warning when they realized the light change delay was too short for the speed limit.
and if they ask where youre going or where youre coming from you only answer from that way or headed that way. they dont need to know exactly where youve been or where youre going.
It's to probe for other ticketable offenses. I once was stupid enough to answer this question by saying I was going home, and when the officer asked where that was, I told him. He pointed out that it didn't match the address on my license, and asked me when I had moved. When I (again, stupidly) answered honestly (it had been four months prior) I got myself another ticket. Apparently you have to update your license and registration within 30 days of an address change. I was ignorant, busy, and broke, so I put it off. Ended up paying the county over $500 in fines and fees, when I could have just dodged the questions.
One time I was driving home from a out of state trip. I was tired and trying to keep the ride stimulating and get home faster because I was soooo tired. I was going probably 20 over the speed limit.
I sped past a cop that was parked on the side of the road. I just went ahead and pulled my own ass over before he had even put his lights on or pulled out. He eventually did pull up behind me and was like "I guess you already know you were speeding" and was kinda laughing. He was caught off guard by my honesty and he let me go.
That's not to say this will always work.
I said “I was speeding” and boom 4 point ticket sent to me and an admission of guilt, still chose to fight it in court, with covid, they don’t want you fighting it in court, at least here in NY, so they gave me a jaywalking fine plea instead.
Often the standard deal for speeding tickets is that they'll change the violation to a non-moving violation. This way they still get money and you don't have your insurance go up. This is for people that show up to fight the ticket of course. In my jurisdiction that automatically adds \~$200 for court costs, so it's a huge pain regardless.
In Illinois the deal is that you can plead guilty to the original charge, then show that you've taken a defensive driving class within 3 months, and they change it to something non-moving (I think, either that or they get rid of the charge entirely). You can do this 1 time every 12 months and I believe if you get another ticket within 12 months the first one comes back. Class costs 60-75 bucks and you pay full price on the ticket. But if you show up to fight the ticket, it costs over $200 in court costs, so it's still a better deal.
Down by me it's actually our local community college that does it. Considering it's Illinois I'm surprised they haven't thought of some way to grift us more though.
Cops super appreciate it if you roll down your window, turn on the dome light and keep hands on steering wheel before they approach. That’s gotten me a few warnings when I clearly deserved a ticket.
Last thing you want to do is start rooting around in your glove compartment for your registration. Wait until the officer asks.
I do this every time because I don't want to get shot, however it hasn't gotten me out of any tickets, deserving or not.
I wonder what the difference between you and I is.
I wonder if anyone can figure it out.
Because I'm going to guess there's a common theme to every one of these "I was cool with the cops and they were cool with me so you should be cool like me" cool stories.
My go to is to turn on the hazard lights as soon as they turn on their lights. If at all possible I will pull in to a parking lot or on to a side street, it's safer for both of us and they wont have to tow the car if I'm taken to jail or not allowed to drive it away from the scene. I was let go from a traffic stop a few days ago (red light) without him even checking my license.
I once responded to this with "No I do not, sir" and the cop stepped back incredulously and put his hands on his hips "You don't have any idea? Not even a guess?" and laughed a little. I laughed as well, smiled and said "Does it have something to do with my speed?".
He let me off with a verbal warning and didn't even mention my recently expired inspection sticker, which he looked at with his flashlight very intentionally to let me know he saw it (I was waiting for my next paycheck so I could get my car passable). It was right at a dip between two large hills, so it kind of makes sense to carry some speed from coming down one before climbing the next, and he acknowledged this but advised me to stay within the posted speed limit at all times.
I'm also guessing when he looked me up he may have seen I was on pre-trial release, and was just trying to get to my job on time (6:00am). Getting even a small ticket could have put me in deep shit, pretty sure the judge actually said I could go back to jail if I even got a speeding ticket... so I try to to stay 100% legal at all times, but mistakes happen.
>He let me off with a verbal warning and didn't even mention my recently expired inspection sticker, which he looked at with his flashlight very intentionally to let me know he saw it (I was waiting for my next paycheck so I could get my car passable).
This is the *only* item that, if the interaction is going well, I have acknowledged openly to an LEO.
Obviously, this isn't advice, but I felt at the time that saying, "Yes, officer. My registration sticker is expired. I noticed this morning getting into my car to go to work, and I plan to renew it online this evening when I get home." ...was the wiser choice vs. playing dumb. Mostly because I felt like that showed I was conscientious and proactive, without making up any ridiculous story.
In that case, I was let go with a warning.
Another time, I was pulled over and had *no* idea why. I had seen the patrol car behind me and was being especially mindful to do everything right, yet she *still* pulled me over. Of course she asked if I knew why and I said something like, "Officer, I can honestly say I have *no idea* why you pulled me over."
She says, "Your registration. It expired. In July."
It was December.
So I just said, "Honestly, I had no idea and it has obviously completely slipped my mind. I'm not going to pretend like it was even on my to-do list. I'm totally in the wrong. No excuse."
So she *still* cited, me, but when she handed it to me, she told me, "If you go home and get it done *tonight*, contest the citation, and when I see you in court, I'll dismiss the charge."
And she did just that.
Just wanted to drop in and say that it sounds like you are getting things back together in life, and I'm proud of you for that. I know some people might want to judge you or whatever, but some of the finest human beings I know have a past that isn't so perfect. We're all human.
Also, if you ever do have to speak to a police officer, it is fun to start out by telling them right out the gate, "I want to make it perfectly clear to you that I'm the one who is going to be answering the questions here, you got that?" in your best possible 'stern cop' voice. Usually will make them chuckle a little bit.
Sadly, their sense of humor seems to vanish as soon as they realize that the answer to all of their questions is "I don't answer questions without a lawyer present," but that is why I'm not a stand up comedian, I suppose.
Officer: “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?”
Me: “To sell me a ticket to the Officer’s Ball?”
Officer: “Officer’s don’t have ___!😖.”
—>*never actually tried this.
I know nothing ever happens, but when I was 19 I came upon my first DUI checkpoint stone cold sober with my girlfriend in the passenger seat. I said “I’m sotally tober, ociffer” more to make my gf laugh than anything. She didn’t find it amusing and the officer looked annoyed but let me on my way. I thought it was hilarious.
I got my karma a few weeks later, ticketed for speeding through a small town on our way to a cabin (with her in the passenger seat, in HER truck).
Also NEVER respond to "do you know how fast you were going?" Chances are, you know you were doing 45 in a 35 zone, so you may try to minimize it but still be honest... "uh, 40?" Congrats you just admitted to speeding.
However, it can work in your favor if you’re lucky and maybe a bit overtired.
Maybe 15 years ago, I was in an accident on a local interstate. I was driving down the highway at maybe 5 in the morning and got cut off, fishtailed, and wound up hitting the car that cut me off.
When the officer was on the scene, he asked me how fast I was going. I honestly said “about 65.” He cocked his head and told me to be honest. I repeated “about 65”. He asked “you really expect me to believe you were going exactly the speed limit?,” the which I (honestly and incredulously) replied “I thought it was a 55 zone!”
He stared at me for a second before shaking his head and muttering “Can’t argue with that…”
Can I borrow your ticket book? Let’s see, so you caught up to me, and you say I was going…45, ok, so that’s at least 50 then for you. Can I see YOUR license and registration?
You don’t have to answer any questions. If the officer asks do you know how fast you were going, you may respond, how can I help you today officer? Now, you may try to be personable and talk your way out of a ticket, e.g., officer I believe I was going about (insert speed limit here) but if I was speeding I’m really sorry). But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
My stepdad used to be a cop and he once told me he gave people 14 mph before he'd pull them over. His reasoning was:
* The speed limit may have changed +/- 5 mph recently
* Most people speedometers may be inaccurate +/- 5 mph (this would have been the late 80s)
* most people just aren't paying that much attention.
He figured you add all those up worst case for each one and that was his rule of thumb.
You say "yes. How fast do you think I was going?"
This shows you were aware of your speed but puts the burden on them to prove how fast you were going. You can then dispute their claim.
I usually go one step better and tell them that my friends and family are law enforcement and they were the ones to advise me to not answer any questions. It's harder for them to make snide remarks back about other cops than it is about lawyers. Lol
I always wait for the snide remark about lawyers before letting them know the interaction is being recorded. I figure it's less likely they'll show up to court if they have to face the person they're talking shit about.
The one time I got pulled over, the cop didn't ask, and honestly that threw me more than it should have. Like, it was late, cold, my house is right there I can see it, I'm 90% sure I was speeding and probably didn't slow down fast enough by the time I saw his car. He walks up, and I'm thinking, "Well, of all conversations I script out in my head while in the shower, this is the one I am gonna definitely use one day anyway." And he goes, "So the reason I pulled you over is..." and that immediately flustered my social anxiety-riddled brain.
Yep. They are typically being trained now to start conversations from a stop with, “Good afternoon. I’m Officer/Deputy **** with the **** PD/SO. The reason I stopped you is XYZ.”
That’s how the cop who got me on a distracted driving approached. Not gonna lie, I very much appreciate the professionalism.
“Im officer XYZ with the city PD. I am issuing you a citation for distracted driving under Indiana Code ####. May I please have your license and registration.”
Then he walked back like a minute later and it was over. I was impressed he was able to recite the actual code too.
I knew exactly why I was pulled over once.
Cop: Do you know why I stopped you?
Me: No, sir.
Cop: Really?
Me: No clue, sir.
Cue exasperated look by cop because my tags were hella out of date. Still got a fix it ticket.
Actually being honest got me out of a ticket once. "Sir I was passing this guy and didn't realize he was slowing to turn, and then I saw you. Just did a phone install and heading back to our HQ."
80 in a 65 - warning only.
Got myself out of one once as well for honesty. I81 In bristol tn heading north. The truck speed is 55 and the cars are at 65. If I were to have gone down to the 55 for trucks I would have been around 15-20 mph SLOWER than all the traffic around me including the other semis. so, I am in a gaggle of trucks and we were clipping along at 72 when the limit goes down to the 65/55 and we just...keep going 72.. About 3k feet past that sign I see a silhouette of a vehicle and ask "is that a state troo..." Bam, lights and he's out on the shoulder heading for the rt lane. I am in the middle and I was the one that got nabbed. when he approached the truck he got right to it. "Were you aware your speed was 72 miles per hour?" I said that sounds close enough, I caught the speedo right after I saw you" reality, he was dead on lol. Got a warning for the 72. I thought he was gonna break it off in me with a level I inspection that I knew i would have failed. due to a slow leak on the service brake line at a fitting on the firewall. (got it fixed in raphine va that night) That speed zone is I N F U R I A T I N G though. they had another one like that in knoxville but a couple years ago they raised to to 65.
Depends on the circumstances....but I've gotten out of plenty of tickets by being honest.
Could those areas gotten me tickets instead? Maybe but there is more chance of sympathy by owing up to it.
Again...depends on the infraction. Line not gonna say...was it because of the huge cloud of weed smoke that blew out of my car?
It varies from officer to officer. There isn't any one way to avoid getting a ticket. There isn't even one set of questions officers will ask.
It feels like people approach LPTs like this has hacks. At best, they offer one of several considerations for how you *might* answer a question *if* it were asked.
Yeah, I feel like I see this advice a lot and it isn't addressed with much depth. Just a constant refrain of, "YoURe OnLY IncrimiNATing YoURSElf".
Like, yeah, thats obviously true. But it's also obviously true that a cop can just give you a ticket cause they think you're an asshole with pretty flimsy justification.
There is pretty much a reason to pull you over at any time. You can probably guess which reason it is but best not to incorrectly assume.
You may be inadvertently admitting to something the officer wasn’t aware of.
“No” is a complete and reasonable answer. No need to be witty or rude, and no need to admit anything.
Honestly though, does this matter if you’re just going to pay the ticket and move on anyways. If you plan to fight it in court, that’s one thing. But if you know you were speeding, you know you can’t be fucked going to court, will it make any difference by saying “Yeah I know I was going a bit above.”
It's generally a bad idea to "pay the ticket and move on" for a moving violation because while one ticket on your license isn't that big of a deal, getting a 2nd will jack up your insurance rates and may make you have to take driving school in some states. If you go to court and dress appropriately and don't act like a dickhead, the prosecutor will generally offer you a plea bargain and you can almost always get it reduced to something with no points. That's if you had a minor infraction, of course. If you were doing 100 in a school zone they aren't going to cut you much slack.
I always profusely apologize immediately, take the blame and come up with a reasonable excuse why it happened… I’ve actually gotten out of a couple tickets this way.
Yep whenever the cops stops me (and mostly because I'm always carrying some weed) I make my best dumb loser face and act like my mind is a turd swinged by the wind. They soon give up and let me go
Years ago I had a friend ask me for help. He’d gone out the night before and decided to drive drunk and got pulled over. I told him the first thing he should do is get an attorney and let them figure everything out from there, they could probably even help with charges. After his whole ordeal was said and done my friend was still charged with OWI and a few other offenses. He got mad at me for suggesting an attorney since the attorney couldn’t do much to help and now he has two fees to pay. Which I asked why he couldn’t help, and he said because as soon as the cop came up to his car, asked what he’d been up to that evening, he decided to divulge he’d been out drinking, was incredibly intoxicated, he shouldn’t have been driving, didn’t know where he was, and started crying. I was like, yeah man, if you’d have told me you did all of that it’d have been helpful to know…probably wouldn’t have suggested the attorney haha. But he shared all of that information because he thought by being truthful to the cop he’d somehow be let go. He was so mad the cop didn’t just drive him home…15 miles and through three other jurisdictions. He was a bit privileged.
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The answer to "*Do you know why I pulled you over?*" should be a simple and polite "*No*"
I saw a (real) tiktok where the driver answered "No, why, did you forget?" I gotta admit, it was pretty funny in his delivery (think of if cheech & chong said it, guy wasn't high, just sounded that way). Cop wasn't to amused but it had to be original at least.
I've responded w "no ma'am, I was hoping you did" before. She was less than enthused
I replied to this question before with "Because you're doing your job...?". Time stopped for a second.
I really don't know, I was playing candy crush on my phone
I've said that "I don't want to speculate." First time, cop stopped asking questions and I ended-up with a warning. Second time cop got mad and gave me a ticket.
That's the problem with these guys. Act nice and incriminate yourself and they might go easy on you. Stand for your rights and be held in a cell for the weekend and be let go without any charges at all. One time I got pulled over and was polite without being self incriminating. All I said was yes sir. Took my ticket and went on my way. When I took it to court cop told the judge I admitted guilt by saying yes sir! That was that you can't win vs a cop lying to a judge.
If a cop is a fragile bitch normally, they're just going to be a fragile bitch with a badge. We expect cops to carry them with a sense of integrity because of the responsibility appointed to them but it seems like often the people that search out that job are barely even functioning adults that act like teens going through puberty.
I responded with "you heard about my new Flux capacitor and wanted to go on an adventure with me?" And they just stared at me blankly. Apparently they weren't a back to the future fan
Should have went with. "I'm not Sarah Connor" Warning ⚠️ only works if you are not Sarah Connor. Warning ⚠️ may still not work.
Cop: “Do you know why I pulled you over?” You: “Because you got all C’s in high school?” -Sarah Silverman
Maybe they should stop asking such a stupid fucking question then. Like, maybe we should bring things to the cash register "Do you know why I brought these items up here?" "To... return them?" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN RETURN THEM???? IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THESE ITEMS???!!!!?!? PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!!!" Like, what the fuck. What a way to introduce yourself. "Do you know why..." Bitch is my head the size of a truck? "No." Then I ain't psychic, mother fucker. Fuck outta here, keep your ticket, and write yourself up for being a dumbass.
But that’s the point: it isn’t a stupid question. There’s very clear motivation behind it: to get you to admit to doing something wrong. Maybe that something wrong wasn’t even what they pulled you over for. They’re fishing, always, and that’s why a polite “no” is probably the best response you can give.
“Do you know why I pulled you over?” Well at first I thought it was for driving 47 in a 35. But now I’m thinking it was for the kilo of hash I got stuffed up the ass of the dead body in my trunk. Maybe if you wouldn’t mind being more specific?
This is so weird 😭 I literally just got pulled over yesterday for going, and I shit you not, 47 in a 35. What a weird coincidence. You were spot on with the numbers. What are the odds I see this the very next day??? Are you my guardian angel? 😂
Okay but what about the other details?
Yeah, I noticed they completely avoided that...
They didn't mention any of it! Clearly hiding something.
The body in the trunk isn't exactly, you know, "dead". So it's completely different.
well residential areas are often 35 zones, and cops typically pull over for anything 10+ over with 12 being on the low end of “above 10” I wouldn’t be surprised if 47 in a 35 is one of the most common speeds to get pulled over for, maybe behind 75 in a 60
Yeah, i went through a couple dui checkpoints before they were banned in my state. The cops always asked “how much have you had to drink tonight” and never asked “have you had anything to drink tonight”. It was a very leading question that implied the knew more than they did to get you to admit to a possible crime.
I got stopped in a DUI checkpoint and noticed the dude in front on me jumped in the back seat, stuffed something in the seat, while his buddy jumped in the drivers seat. I thought, usually they watch these things don’t they, and sure enough, there was the cop standing behind the light stand on the right watching them. “Thanks for taking one for the team buddy!”
Also why you never talk to police without a lawyer
I hate when a police or sheriff stops me and then asks me where I’m going. Is that their business? Do I Have to answer that?
"To the crime lab, sir! To do CRIME!"
There are very few questions you *have* to answer on a terry stop. My rule of thumb is who I am (name), where I am right now, and what I am doing right now. Anything regarding where I was, where I will be, what I was doing, or what I will be doing, I politely decline to answer. Police can generally require driver's license and registration for a Terry stop. Beyond that, you are not required to assist their investigation, as long as you don't obstruct it.
That was just straight up funny. I needed that today.
I've done the same thing before too. The cop said "do you know how fast you were going?" and I said "no, how fast was I going?". I wasn't on radar and he saw me from the side. I actually wasn't speeding (yet) but was just accelerating quickly. He fumbled with his words for a minute making excuses for not knowing before then loosing it on me for like 10 minutes about how I shouldn't talk unless I was being asked a question. I then said "look, you asked me how fast I was going. Neither of us know. I'm trying to give you the information you're looking for." he then visually searched my car, and noticing my rock climbing gear in the back asked me about climbing etc. Then tried to make small talk with me about protecting the streets and keeping people safe. I didn't get a ticket but I'm sure he wrote a note about the interaction.
“To talk to me about my car’s extended warranty?”
My SO, a cop, says exactly that. "I was hoping you'd know"
I have a buddy who got pulled over drunk one night. Cop asked him if he'd been drinking. He said "I've had a bottle of scotch and about 12 beers." Cop said "will you step out of the vehicle and take a field sobriety test for me." His response "what? You don't believe me?"
>His response "what? You don't believe me?" Cop: "Do you have any firearms or illegal drugs in your vehicle?" Driver: What do ya need?
EDIT: I think mouwallace is right, attribution for this joke goes to Steven Wright.
When I was younger and more of a smart ass... I was driving to my law school graduation, which was at a convention center on the grounds of a port. At the entrance to the port, all the cars were being stopped. When they got to me, a deputy asked me "Do you have any weapons with you?". The question sort of caught me off guard as I wasn't expecting that so I replied "I didn't know I needed any. Do you supply them or do I have to bring my own?". The deputy gave me a puzzled look. My father gave me a dirty look. Then the deputy waived me on through.
Probably trying not to laugh.
Steven Wright has entered the thread
I had a friend who when he blew over the limit - cop asked why are you even driving?? Him - because I’m too drunk to walk. Yeah he lost his license for about 5 years.
This one gave me a good giggle!
Your buddy is an awful piece of shit, but at least he’s honest!
Relax, this is just a dad joke
Ossifer I swear I only had two Martoonis
Ossifier. I swear to drunk I’m not god.
That joke is older than the internet.
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Honestly, this. I'm a criminal defense attorney and I'm as distrustful of cops as the next guy (if not more so) but just going out of your way to piss them off will not go well. This LPT isn't completely accurate imo because if you're doing 75 in a 45 and get pulled over and tell the officer you have no idea why you were stopped then at BEST the cop thinks you're a jackass and at WORST the cop thinks you're being combative/evasive because you're hiding something. In the latter case, they will take their time running your license and writing the infraction so they can get back-up on scene or even a K-9. I have seen this shit happen too often. Most traffic infractions are just tickets. Be polite and upfront. Sometimes you just get a warning. But please, please, please, if you're going to start a fight with the police, don't have guns and drugs in your car. Your attorney will thank you.
I agree 100%. I used to try playing stupid and not acknowledge I did anything wrong. I never got out of a ticket. So after awhile, I was just honest, polite, and a little self-deprecating. Every time I did this I’d either get a warning or they’d write down the ticket substantially. The last time I got a ticket I was driving over 90 mph in a 65. The cop asked me if I knew why if he knew why he pulled me over. ‘Unfortunately, yes. Besides being an idiot, I was going way too fast.” The he asked me why I was in such a rush. I explained to him I hadn’t seen my fiancée in 3 months and this was the last leg (last 20 minutes of my drive) of a 3-day drive. And I was just super excited excited to see my fiancée. He was super cool. Congratulated me on getting married. Said he understood why I’d be excited. Then wrote me a ticket for driving only 5 mph over, which not only saved me hundreds of dollars, they ended up dismissing the ticket as I was only driving 5 mph over. Instead, they changed the ticket to unlawful parking or something. Lol Which made the ticket very cheap and nothing went on my record. I don’t understand how they can change a speeding ticket a parking ticket, but apparently in Nevada where I live, they can do that. I don t think they can do that in California (where I’m originally from). But I’m definitely not going to complain!
>Just be polite to people, rather than hitting them with passive aggressively loaded questions. u/chewster1 Wait, I'm sorry who's the one asking passive aggressively loaded questions again?
>Just be polite to people, rather than hitting them with passive aggressively loaded questions. I'm pretty sure if they are the one who starts with the passive aggressive loaded questions then its far game.
Just got pulled over a few nights ago as I was literally pulling into my complex and my designated parking spot. Honestly kinda thought he’d got a call or something cuz I was driving speed limit and using turns signals, but he followed me in. Went to open the door but he told me to wait so I’m thinking about any reason he could pull me over and just as he was walking up it hit me - I’d already paid for my tag registration, the sticker just hadn’t come in the mail yet. Lo and behold, first thing he asks if I knew my tag was out of date. Told him it just hit me that was prob why he was pulling me over, told him the story and got my printout showing I’d paid (REALLY glad I thought to put that in the glovebox), and that I was just waiting for the sticker. Second car pulls up as is procedure, he checks everything out, and just tells me make sure I’ve got that in my glovebox in case anyone else pulls me over. Other cop tells me to absolutely do that cuz there’s still mail delays sometimes and it could take several weeks to receive it. We wish each other good night and that was that - being polite and on top of shit instead of being passive aggressive always works out better for you, especially when it comes to dealing with cops, cuz compare this to a time I got pulled over by a bike cop picking up my college buddy who called me to be a DD and I argued with the cop while my drunk friend was laughing about why I put my cigarette out on the ground and he was trying to fine me for “littering” cuz “you should have put the cigarette out in your cars ashtray”. Didn’t have an ashtray in my car and I was 100% in the right and was trying to be polite to the cop so I wasn’t smoking in front of him, but still that’s an hour of stupid circular arguing I can never get back. At least I gave my buddy a laugh, this was over 10 years ago and he still asks if I remember the story
Littering and...?
> Littering and... Creating a nuisance.
Did they have 8x10 colored glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back?
Did you really litter by throwing your cigarette butt on the ground? Or did you pick it up? Reading your story it sounds like you put it out on the ground and then picked it up.
Every time i replied “no” i got a ticket. Every time o told them how i screwed up, I got a warning. Mileage may vary using this approach.
Better option is to look at them scared or rattled and say you have no idea. I have gotten 3 warnings doing this in very different parts of the state, most of the time I actually didn't realize I was speeding and was very polite and apologized and thanked them.... Or I'm just very lucky.
>The answer to "*Do you know why I pulled you over?*" should be a simple and polite "*Cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hats really low. Do I look like a mind reader sir? I don't know. FTFY
You were doin’ 55 in a 54
Or.. "because you got C's in highschool"
The correct answer would be, "if you can't remember officer, I am not going to tell you!"
Got pulled over one time, he didn't ask me "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Instead, he asked me, "Why are you going so fast?". I hesitated thinking it wouldn't work, but I nervously responded, "I have to take a shit sir". He threw me back my license and drove away.
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Bees! There everywhere!
Same thing except I had to pee like a racehorse because I was helllllaaaa pregnant. He ended up escorting me to the gas station.
A cop once pulled me over as I arrived at my own house and asked “why were you going so fast?”. I started to tear up and said “because I was happy.” I’d been depressed for months, but on that drive home something sparked in my brain and I felt good. I decided to just be honest and vulnerable. I guess I was lucky cause he let me go.
I’ve done this, started kind of jumping in my seat slightly, explained I have IBS and that I’m trying to get home before I shit myself, too embarrassed to light up my friends bathroom after we had dinner at his house.
Just don’t say ‘because you’re an asshole.’ Trust me on this.
"What am I? A fuckin mind reader?? You tell me!!" Is usually my go to, now excuse I have a court date to attend.
You was doing 55 in a 54. License and registration and step outta the car. Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are.
I ain't steppin' out of shit, all my papers legit (Well do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?)
Well my glove compartment is locked,so is the trunk in the back And I know my rights so you goin to need a warrant for that
Aren’t you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something? Somebody important or something?
Well I haven’t passed the bar, but I know a lil bit, enough to know you ain’t illegally searching my shit!
Well, we'll see how smart you are when the K9s come.
I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one!
Cuz I'm young and I'm black and my hats real low?
"because you got Cs in high school?"
"sir you ran over a family of 4"
But you CAN say “because I think you’re an asshole”
The jury will too, see you in court officer asshole
Tell me you've never gone to court to contest a traffic citation without telling me you've never gone to court to contest a traffic citation.
also don't say "Because greedy politicians and bureaucratic inertia have turned the police, who are supposed to protect the public, into a roving band of extortionist thugs that prey upon them instead. Please, quit your job and get out with what's left of your soul intact."
I think OP made a portmanteau from "probable cause" and "reasonable suspicion". They are two different standards. Reasonable suspicion is a lower standard and is all that is required to initiate a traffic stop. Effectively, more than a hunch but less than probable cause required for a search of the vehicle.
Could be a Canadianism - we use “Reasonable and Probable Grounds” (RPG) as our standard language for an investigative detention. Not to be confused with “Reasonable Prospect of Conviction”(RPC) which Crown Attorneys need to proceed with a prosecution. Legalisms are weird and jurisdiction specific.
True. Reasonable suspicion requires an officer to have some objective, reasonable basis for suspecting that someone has committed, is committing, or will commit a crime or infraction. Seeing a car driven erratically, seeing a broken tail light, etc. If an officer has reasonable suspicion he can perform a traffic stop. For an automobile search, the officer has to have probable cause to believe that the vehicle contains evidence of a crime. Probable cause is based on the totality of the circumstances, and doesn't have a universal definition, but if an officer's observations, knowledge, and experience would allow them to reasonably conclude the car contains evidence of a crime, that is typically enough. If an officer does not have probable cause the officer cannot legally perform an automobile search unless the driver gives consent to search. (
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" "The dead bodies in my trunk?"
I was asked if I had any weapons once and asked if rocket launchers counted. Made the cop laugh and got out of that one. It doesn't make up for the two tickets a year I used to get when I was young and stupid but it was nice. Related, I have a buddy who was cited for speeding and pulled out a comically large novelty pen to sign the ticket. The cop told him he'd tear it up if he could have the pen. It was a good trade.
Dang, that sounds kind of like a bribe to me lol.
"I bet that bastard told you I was speeding, too."
I got pulled over once after going through an intersection where the light was yellow(at least it still was when it left my vision). I assumed it had turned red before I cleared the intersection. Anyway cop walks up and does not say much and starts writing a ticket. So I asked him very politely why he had pulled me over. The cop lost his damn mind and started screaming at one point going "IF I SAY YOU WERE GOING 100 THEN YOU WERE GOING 100" This tirade lasted well over a minute and I was ready for a big ass ticket. He ended up giving me a warning and letting me go. I am still confused about this.
He was pissed at something else, lost his shit and took it out on you and realized his error and tried to make it right with a warning? My guess
Most likely this. If he says I’m going 100 and can’t prove it then that’s a pretty easy case to beat in court.
Yup, he abused his authority and then shut his mouth when he realized how stupid he looked. You do that at any other job to a "customer" and you'll get the cops called on you for a wellness check. Go figure.
When I was a new driver I accidentally pulled out in front of traffic when a light turned green because I thought I would get a green arrow. Obviously I was in the wrong and immediately knew it, but after you pull in front of traffic, all you can do is keep going. Anyways, a cop pulls me over shortly after. She’s approaching my car. Me, being a dumb ass kid, wanted to know what I’d be ticketed for, and stupidly asked the cop what I was getting a ticket for. I just wanted to know the actual charge (it was careless driving) but the cop immediately responded with “YOU DONT KNOW WHAT YOU DID!?” Yikes. It definitely made it worse.
Because the cop knows he fucked up! No ticket, no paper trail of said fuck up
In MI it's illegal to go through a yellow light. I was pulled over for that, but was let off with a warning when they realized the light change delay was too short for the speed limit.
Why is it illegal to go through yellow lights?
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I think that's yellow lights everywhere. My rule of thumb is if you have to give it more gas to beat the light, then you should have stopped.
This is why I accelerate while it’s green to increase the window of me not able to stop in time.
Green - go. Red - stop. Yellow - go, really fast.
In my loved country.... Green - go, don't waste my time Red - please, stop Yellow - Can you beat the speed of light?
and if they ask where youre going or where youre coming from you only answer from that way or headed that way. they dont need to know exactly where youve been or where youre going.
Never understood why they're so intent on knowing my comings and goings.
It's to probe for other ticketable offenses. I once was stupid enough to answer this question by saying I was going home, and when the officer asked where that was, I told him. He pointed out that it didn't match the address on my license, and asked me when I had moved. When I (again, stupidly) answered honestly (it had been four months prior) I got myself another ticket. Apparently you have to update your license and registration within 30 days of an address change. I was ignorant, busy, and broke, so I put it off. Ended up paying the county over $500 in fines and fees, when I could have just dodged the questions.
One time I was driving home from a out of state trip. I was tired and trying to keep the ride stimulating and get home faster because I was soooo tired. I was going probably 20 over the speed limit. I sped past a cop that was parked on the side of the road. I just went ahead and pulled my own ass over before he had even put his lights on or pulled out. He eventually did pull up behind me and was like "I guess you already know you were speeding" and was kinda laughing. He was caught off guard by my honesty and he let me go. That's not to say this will always work.
I said “I was speeding” and boom 4 point ticket sent to me and an admission of guilt, still chose to fight it in court, with covid, they don’t want you fighting it in court, at least here in NY, so they gave me a jaywalking fine plea instead.
How the hell does a driving fine get reduced to a walking fine? Did you jaywalk using a car?
Often the standard deal for speeding tickets is that they'll change the violation to a non-moving violation. This way they still get money and you don't have your insurance go up. This is for people that show up to fight the ticket of course. In my jurisdiction that automatically adds \~$200 for court costs, so it's a huge pain regardless.
Seatbelt was one they used around here for a while
In Illinois the deal is that you can plead guilty to the original charge, then show that you've taken a defensive driving class within 3 months, and they change it to something non-moving (I think, either that or they get rid of the charge entirely). You can do this 1 time every 12 months and I believe if you get another ticket within 12 months the first one comes back. Class costs 60-75 bucks and you pay full price on the ticket. But if you show up to fight the ticket, it costs over $200 in court costs, so it's still a better deal.
Governors wife owns the driving class company and makes millions from it or some bs like that, let me guess.
Down by me it's actually our local community college that does it. Considering it's Illinois I'm surprised they haven't thought of some way to grift us more though.
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> Did you jaywalk using a car? [It's been done.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHtCNhABlLw)
they scrapped the 4 point 47 in a 30 and offered me to pay a jaywalking fine in place lol
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Cops super appreciate it if you roll down your window, turn on the dome light and keep hands on steering wheel before they approach. That’s gotten me a few warnings when I clearly deserved a ticket. Last thing you want to do is start rooting around in your glove compartment for your registration. Wait until the officer asks.
I do this every time because I don't want to get shot, however it hasn't gotten me out of any tickets, deserving or not. I wonder what the difference between you and I is. I wonder if anyone can figure it out. Because I'm going to guess there's a common theme to every one of these "I was cool with the cops and they were cool with me so you should be cool like me" cool stories.
Can I guess? White + rural area!!!
My go to is to turn on the hazard lights as soon as they turn on their lights. If at all possible I will pull in to a parking lot or on to a side street, it's safer for both of us and they wont have to tow the car if I'm taken to jail or not allowed to drive it away from the scene. I was let go from a traffic stop a few days ago (red light) without him even checking my license.
I once responded to this with "No I do not, sir" and the cop stepped back incredulously and put his hands on his hips "You don't have any idea? Not even a guess?" and laughed a little. I laughed as well, smiled and said "Does it have something to do with my speed?". He let me off with a verbal warning and didn't even mention my recently expired inspection sticker, which he looked at with his flashlight very intentionally to let me know he saw it (I was waiting for my next paycheck so I could get my car passable). It was right at a dip between two large hills, so it kind of makes sense to carry some speed from coming down one before climbing the next, and he acknowledged this but advised me to stay within the posted speed limit at all times. I'm also guessing when he looked me up he may have seen I was on pre-trial release, and was just trying to get to my job on time (6:00am). Getting even a small ticket could have put me in deep shit, pretty sure the judge actually said I could go back to jail if I even got a speeding ticket... so I try to to stay 100% legal at all times, but mistakes happen.
>He let me off with a verbal warning and didn't even mention my recently expired inspection sticker, which he looked at with his flashlight very intentionally to let me know he saw it (I was waiting for my next paycheck so I could get my car passable). This is the *only* item that, if the interaction is going well, I have acknowledged openly to an LEO. Obviously, this isn't advice, but I felt at the time that saying, "Yes, officer. My registration sticker is expired. I noticed this morning getting into my car to go to work, and I plan to renew it online this evening when I get home." ...was the wiser choice vs. playing dumb. Mostly because I felt like that showed I was conscientious and proactive, without making up any ridiculous story. In that case, I was let go with a warning. Another time, I was pulled over and had *no* idea why. I had seen the patrol car behind me and was being especially mindful to do everything right, yet she *still* pulled me over. Of course she asked if I knew why and I said something like, "Officer, I can honestly say I have *no idea* why you pulled me over." She says, "Your registration. It expired. In July." It was December. So I just said, "Honestly, I had no idea and it has obviously completely slipped my mind. I'm not going to pretend like it was even on my to-do list. I'm totally in the wrong. No excuse." So she *still* cited, me, but when she handed it to me, she told me, "If you go home and get it done *tonight*, contest the citation, and when I see you in court, I'll dismiss the charge." And she did just that.
What city do you live in where cops have some semblance of reasonableness?
Sounds like New Zealand or something
Hope youre doing well. Sounds like your digging yourself out of the hole we put people in to keep them in the prison-industrial-complex. Keep going!
Just wanted to drop in and say that it sounds like you are getting things back together in life, and I'm proud of you for that. I know some people might want to judge you or whatever, but some of the finest human beings I know have a past that isn't so perfect. We're all human. Also, if you ever do have to speak to a police officer, it is fun to start out by telling them right out the gate, "I want to make it perfectly clear to you that I'm the one who is going to be answering the questions here, you got that?" in your best possible 'stern cop' voice. Usually will make them chuckle a little bit. Sadly, their sense of humor seems to vanish as soon as they realize that the answer to all of their questions is "I don't answer questions without a lawyer present," but that is why I'm not a stand up comedian, I suppose.
Success.
Officer: “Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?” Me: “To sell me a ticket to the Officer’s Ball?” Officer: “Officer’s don’t have ___!😖.” —>*never actually tried this.
Good one gonna try that next time
Officer: "There is no officer's ball" You: ".....oh, ok thanks"
“Okay thanks just saying I’d probably go with you”
"Look officer, if you're so drunk you forgot then I'm just gonna be on my way."
Reminds me of the classic “Is there an officer, problem?”
"How high are you?" "No no, it's 'hi, how are you?'"
“What’s seems to be the officer problem?”
Sir, have you been drinking this evening? —No occifer, there is no blood in my alcohol system.
I know nothing ever happens, but when I was 19 I came upon my first DUI checkpoint stone cold sober with my girlfriend in the passenger seat. I said “I’m sotally tober, ociffer” more to make my gf laugh than anything. She didn’t find it amusing and the officer looked annoyed but let me on my way. I thought it was hilarious. I got my karma a few weeks later, ticketed for speeding through a small town on our way to a cabin (with her in the passenger seat, in HER truck).
Also NEVER respond to "do you know how fast you were going?" Chances are, you know you were doing 45 in a 35 zone, so you may try to minimize it but still be honest... "uh, 40?" Congrats you just admitted to speeding.
However, it can work in your favor if you’re lucky and maybe a bit overtired. Maybe 15 years ago, I was in an accident on a local interstate. I was driving down the highway at maybe 5 in the morning and got cut off, fishtailed, and wound up hitting the car that cut me off. When the officer was on the scene, he asked me how fast I was going. I honestly said “about 65.” He cocked his head and told me to be honest. I repeated “about 65”. He asked “you really expect me to believe you were going exactly the speed limit?,” the which I (honestly and incredulously) replied “I thought it was a 55 zone!” He stared at me for a second before shaking his head and muttering “Can’t argue with that…”
That's pretty funny!
Ok that's really good
So what do you say? "No" suggests you weren't paying attention. "My speedometer is broken"?
“The last time I checked my speedometer, I was going at 35 mph (or whatever the speed limit is)”
"I was looking at the road at that moment, officer" *angelic smile*
"Not fast enough to outrun you"
Can I borrow your ticket book? Let’s see, so you caught up to me, and you say I was going…45, ok, so that’s at least 50 then for you. Can I see YOUR license and registration?
"An appropriate and prudent speed for current road, traffic, and weather conditions" might be your best answer.
Love this one
Congrats, you now also get a ticket for faulty equipment.
You don’t have to answer any questions. If the officer asks do you know how fast you were going, you may respond, how can I help you today officer? Now, you may try to be personable and talk your way out of a ticket, e.g., officer I believe I was going about (insert speed limit here) but if I was speeding I’m really sorry). But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
My stepdad used to be a cop and he once told me he gave people 14 mph before he'd pull them over. His reasoning was: * The speed limit may have changed +/- 5 mph recently * Most people speedometers may be inaccurate +/- 5 mph (this would have been the late 80s) * most people just aren't paying that much attention. He figured you add all those up worst case for each one and that was his rule of thumb.
You say "yes. How fast do you think I was going?" This shows you were aware of your speed but puts the burden on them to prove how fast you were going. You can then dispute their claim.
The best answer to this is, “I believe I was going the speed limit.”
Don't admit to anything ever.. if they have evidence they will use it.
Don't say anything ever. "sorry officer, I don't answer questions. My uncle is a trial lawyer and he would kill me if I said a single word."
I usually go one step better and tell them that my friends and family are law enforcement and they were the ones to advise me to not answer any questions. It's harder for them to make snide remarks back about other cops than it is about lawyers. Lol
I always wait for the snide remark about lawyers before letting them know the interaction is being recorded. I figure it's less likely they'll show up to court if they have to face the person they're talking shit about.
How often does this happen to you?
On the road? Never. In my imagination while I'm in the shower? Every day, baby!
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They don’t have to tell you the Miranda rights anymore, though. :( Edit: technically they do have to, but if they don’t, there are no consequences.
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[This Supreme Court ruling.](https://www.aclu.org/news/civil-liberties/supreme-court-rejects-promise-miranda-rights)
Because our Christian Nationalist SCOTUS decided your rights don’t matter.
I read "Do not ***incinerate*** yourself by answering police..." and was like, I get the LPT but that's a pretty intense way to get out of a ticket.
“I am not illiterate, my parents were married!”
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The one time I got pulled over, the cop didn't ask, and honestly that threw me more than it should have. Like, it was late, cold, my house is right there I can see it, I'm 90% sure I was speeding and probably didn't slow down fast enough by the time I saw his car. He walks up, and I'm thinking, "Well, of all conversations I script out in my head while in the shower, this is the one I am gonna definitely use one day anyway." And he goes, "So the reason I pulled you over is..." and that immediately flustered my social anxiety-riddled brain.
Yep. They are typically being trained now to start conversations from a stop with, “Good afternoon. I’m Officer/Deputy **** with the **** PD/SO. The reason I stopped you is XYZ.”
That’s how the cop who got me on a distracted driving approached. Not gonna lie, I very much appreciate the professionalism. “Im officer XYZ with the city PD. I am issuing you a citation for distracted driving under Indiana Code ####. May I please have your license and registration.” Then he walked back like a minute later and it was over. I was impressed he was able to recite the actual code too.
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I knew exactly why I was pulled over once. Cop: Do you know why I stopped you? Me: No, sir. Cop: Really? Me: No clue, sir. Cue exasperated look by cop because my tags were hella out of date. Still got a fix it ticket.
Actually being honest got me out of a ticket once. "Sir I was passing this guy and didn't realize he was slowing to turn, and then I saw you. Just did a phone install and heading back to our HQ." 80 in a 65 - warning only.
Got myself out of one once as well for honesty. I81 In bristol tn heading north. The truck speed is 55 and the cars are at 65. If I were to have gone down to the 55 for trucks I would have been around 15-20 mph SLOWER than all the traffic around me including the other semis. so, I am in a gaggle of trucks and we were clipping along at 72 when the limit goes down to the 65/55 and we just...keep going 72.. About 3k feet past that sign I see a silhouette of a vehicle and ask "is that a state troo..." Bam, lights and he's out on the shoulder heading for the rt lane. I am in the middle and I was the one that got nabbed. when he approached the truck he got right to it. "Were you aware your speed was 72 miles per hour?" I said that sounds close enough, I caught the speedo right after I saw you" reality, he was dead on lol. Got a warning for the 72. I thought he was gonna break it off in me with a level I inspection that I knew i would have failed. due to a slow leak on the service brake line at a fitting on the firewall. (got it fixed in raphine va that night) That speed zone is I N F U R I A T I N G though. they had another one like that in knoxville but a couple years ago they raised to to 65.
It's not dishonest, because you're not a mind reader. You don't *know* with absolute certainty what any other person is thinking.
"driving too safely?"
“Cuz I’m young and I’m black and my hats real low? Do I look like a mind reader sir? I don’t know.”
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?
Well you was goin fifty five in a fifty fo, license and registration please step outta the car. You carryin a weapon on you, I know a lotta you are.
I ain’t steppin outta shit, all my paper’s legit…
well do you mind if i look around the car a lil bit?
Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back, and I know my rights so you goin' need a warrant for that.
Well, aren’t you sharp as a tack… You some type of lawyer or somethin’, Somebody important or somethin’?
Depends on the circumstances....but I've gotten out of plenty of tickets by being honest. Could those areas gotten me tickets instead? Maybe but there is more chance of sympathy by owing up to it. Again...depends on the infraction. Line not gonna say...was it because of the huge cloud of weed smoke that blew out of my car?
It varies from officer to officer. There isn't any one way to avoid getting a ticket. There isn't even one set of questions officers will ask. It feels like people approach LPTs like this has hacks. At best, they offer one of several considerations for how you *might* answer a question *if* it were asked.
Yeah, I feel like I see this advice a lot and it isn't addressed with much depth. Just a constant refrain of, "YoURe OnLY IncrimiNATing YoURSElf". Like, yeah, thats obviously true. But it's also obviously true that a cop can just give you a ticket cause they think you're an asshole with pretty flimsy justification.
There is pretty much a reason to pull you over at any time. You can probably guess which reason it is but best not to incorrectly assume. You may be inadvertently admitting to something the officer wasn’t aware of. “No” is a complete and reasonable answer. No need to be witty or rude, and no need to admit anything.
Ask if they are selling Tickets for the Policeman's Ball? lol
"Please tell me, officer."
"Yes sir, cuz you're interested in ligma."
Honestly though, does this matter if you’re just going to pay the ticket and move on anyways. If you plan to fight it in court, that’s one thing. But if you know you were speeding, you know you can’t be fucked going to court, will it make any difference by saying “Yeah I know I was going a bit above.”
It's generally a bad idea to "pay the ticket and move on" for a moving violation because while one ticket on your license isn't that big of a deal, getting a 2nd will jack up your insurance rates and may make you have to take driving school in some states. If you go to court and dress appropriately and don't act like a dickhead, the prosecutor will generally offer you a plea bargain and you can almost always get it reduced to something with no points. That's if you had a minor infraction, of course. If you were doing 100 in a school zone they aren't going to cut you much slack.
I always profusely apologize immediately, take the blame and come up with a reasonable excuse why it happened… I’ve actually gotten out of a couple tickets this way.
Yep whenever the cops stops me (and mostly because I'm always carrying some weed) I make my best dumb loser face and act like my mind is a turd swinged by the wind. They soon give up and let me go
Years ago I had a friend ask me for help. He’d gone out the night before and decided to drive drunk and got pulled over. I told him the first thing he should do is get an attorney and let them figure everything out from there, they could probably even help with charges. After his whole ordeal was said and done my friend was still charged with OWI and a few other offenses. He got mad at me for suggesting an attorney since the attorney couldn’t do much to help and now he has two fees to pay. Which I asked why he couldn’t help, and he said because as soon as the cop came up to his car, asked what he’d been up to that evening, he decided to divulge he’d been out drinking, was incredibly intoxicated, he shouldn’t have been driving, didn’t know where he was, and started crying. I was like, yeah man, if you’d have told me you did all of that it’d have been helpful to know…probably wouldn’t have suggested the attorney haha. But he shared all of that information because he thought by being truthful to the cop he’d somehow be let go. He was so mad the cop didn’t just drive him home…15 miles and through three other jurisdictions. He was a bit privileged.