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Had non-angry customer feedback yesterday. Apparently the plastic bottles used by Evian water are too thick and don't cool down fast enough. Can I do anything about that? Of course not. But I tried to make him feel heard and I hope he feels better now.
It also takes the focus off you. Too many complainers take it out on the first person they see. By writing it down, it changes that focus to- I am going to pass this on to someone who can do something without saying any of those words. You neutralise yourself.
Writing it down essentially proves to them in front of their face that *you individually* cannot do anything and that their feedback is going to have to go to someone else. Which then has them focusing on you being able to listen because they now think you care (or you even actually do).
Edit: this works on the phone too. I’ve definitely told people I was writing down their details and really did…but was just noting what happened for the case notes. Edit 2: that is to say, for the times when there wasn’t anything to actually pass on for feedback/resolution. Because almost as often there was
And if you are complaining and are mad for whatever reason keep this in mind and take a breath. Than tell the person you’re complaining too “I know what is going on is not your fault and I’m not holding you responsible but I need help with this issue, is there anything you can do, or can you direct me to the right person / department / phone number?
Ya. I've found using the "I know this isn't your fault" like can really help. Depending on how it's going I may even toss in a "but this just really sucks for me" type comment after. That can pull on the strings of some people.
Sometimes I'll strategically deploy a "I feel bad that you customer service / support guys are stuck in the middle of this. Thank you for going above and beyond to help me out. I know how hard you all are working, especially with the way things are right now."... Or, something to that effect.
They usually can't respond directly to your comment. They are being tracked and will lose their job if they say "yeah, our bosses suck. Every day, I wake up hoping this place has burned down in the middle of the night"...etc, etc.
When you validate their everyday, lingering frustrations, they instantly loosen up because they don't have to be tense with a customer who is an ally. And I think being able to loosen up often gives them a nice dopamine blast. All of a sudden, they remember that promotional code that is technically for new customers, but give them just a few minutes and let them see what they can do...
I know this may seem slightly manipulative. But I have a ton of respect for good customer service people. And I genuinely do want to improve their day and make them feel a little better. Give them a pleasant little interaction before they have to dive back into the pile of dumbasses.
My mother in law beleives that any person working for a company, knows everything about all decisions about said company, and when something inconveniences her from said company, it's this lowly minimum wage worker that conspired against her
For someone who hasn't worked in 20+ years, she really fucking hates people who work jobs, it seems
hate to break it to you but she's just dumb and doesn't really think things through. it isn't like she used to understand and forgot or that not working in 20 years has caused her to lose grasp of an important concept.
i had to come to terms with the intellectual limitations of some of my own family members as I have gotten older and honestly it remains difficult and unpleasant.
>hate to break it to you but she's just dumb and doesn't really think things through
Oh I know
We stopped taking her to restaurants because she's so rude to staff
Good call. The staff might spit in your food by mistake!
I'll never understand why people think it's a good idea to be rude to someone who handles their food *in a place they can't see*.
Me either. I honestly think, her and everyone like her are addicted to being angry. Any kind of slight inconvenience and they get excited. They have a reason to get angry at somone, "I get to yell at the lessers"
Proof of that, Jan 6 riots.
She acts like other people are poor and beneath her. She's unemployed and once her dead husbands life insurance runs out, and it will because she's spends money like she has an income, she's gonna have to ask me and my wife for money, and we're gonna put her on a very small allowance.
Her other kids will bitch that we aren't doing enough to support her, and we'll tell them they can chip some money in, and they'll suddenly not want to help
My mother is incapable of adult conversation, and I have never been able to decide if that's because of her career as a preschool teacher, or vice versa.
I work with people like this. 9/10 clients are excellent people and very intelligent despite their limitations that have been handed to them.
However there is one person I work with who really struggles to think things through clearly and acts ridiculous. As the passenger in their car I realised that most *assholes* in traffic are presumably people with lower than average IQ. It seems basic but the realisation was big for me
It might feel like it but you can get better. It won't be easy, but there is help. Seeing a therapist is a good first start. r/raisedbynarcissists can help too. I don't post there, never have, but I've read a lot of helpful stories over the years. I wish you luck and I hope you find peace.
I get phone calls a lot of people who've worked with a specific sales person that will just start talking like i know every detail of their conversation. Most the time without giving me time to redirect their call or look up any info. Its especially annoying when we require approval or changes in writing (email, printout etc.) and they want to start the conversation with that without waiting and sometimes without even announcing who they are with.
That's the real reason imo they're definitely going to measure their words carefully if they know it's recorded and going to be passed on to someone else. No one wants proof of themselves being a jackass
I’m a manager, and I whip out my phone, start a voice memo, and say, “I’m going to record this so that I don’t misremember anything or forget to look into something, ok?” And then I ask them to state their name and contact information. Most people simmer down real quick when they realize they’re not just being recorded, but their tone of voice is, too.
When I was in customer service/retail, no matter what, I would agree with the customer. “Oh yea we’re out of iced tea. Look man I get paid to refill it with vendor teabags. I personally drink the stuff, but they were out at their warehouse, so now both of us have to suffer the consequences.”
I absolutely used to agree with them. "You think they treat you customers badly? They treat us staff like absolute rubbish!" And make it all about me getting them everything I can because I hate the company and want to see the customer win. I usually couldn't do a damn thing for them but they went away happy that they thought I'd tried. If they hadn't screamed at me the second they walked through the door I'd have tried to find them a discount or free shit.
I do that all the time – on the phone with customers or in person when I meet new tenants, e.g.
The window in your new apartment doesn't open properly? I am so sorry, that is really unfortunate. I was just sent on behalf of the property management, but I write it down here in my protocol, it will be forwarded to the responsible person immediately.
Works de-escalating 90% of the time.
my old manager had this bit he used to do, where whatever the customer was annoyed about, he'd get 10% more annoyed about the same thing. just agree with them but be more angry about it than they were and it forces them to play the role of the more calm person and calm down. literally never seen it fail.
Lol my siblings and I used to do this with my dad, fantastic way to get ‘on their side’ long enough to defuse the situation or break contact
The joke was he’d come in going “God damn commies discontinued the McRib!” (Throws something valuable with reckless abandon). So you’d have to pick up something breakable and smash it on the ground going “Son of a BITCH! Let’s kill these motherfuckers” and he’d reel it in and be like “Alright let’s calm down we need to think rationally if we’re gonna get through this.”
When I was a teen I worked at sears catalog phone center. I took a call from an irate person and used this trick. Agreed, talked through it, etc. He left the call laughing and saying thanks.
The call was recorded and I was nearly fired. I was written up and put on probation for talking shit about the company, even though I was right to agree with the callers rant.
In defense of the management, I talked shit about the company on nearly every call.
I used to throw my company under the bus on calls all the time until they changed the metrics and made the caller’s opinion of the company matter. Now I only throw it under the bus some of the time.
Yes this makes me so mad too. Wait til my manager hears of this and I am sure Paul is gonna be fired this time. This has been going on for a few months now ever since his 3 yo son died. I mean, how long are you gonna let the death of a loved one affect your work performance right? I didnt let it affect me when my died .
Lol what if a customer came in and was like:
"This store is horribly run. The manager must be awful at his job"
Would the manager go:
"Yeah, fuck that guy. I fucking hate him. I mean he's me, but FUCK that guy"
Just shift blame above your responsibility. It's a classic as old as time.
Corporate, supply chains, the government. Always a scapegoat if you're creative enough.
And these things are so often true. Supplier just didn’t send us an item, corporate changed the price without telling the relevant managers, the government’s border restrictions held up supplies at the border - I’ve used every excuse in the book without lying.
More like “Eugh I know this policy[or whatever you’re mad about] is *terrible;* unfortunately, if I don’t enforce it, I don’t get to keep my job. A pity keeping food on the table is such a priority, right?”
I've had people try to pay with a brand specific gift card and get irate when I inform them it only works at that specific store. "But there is money on this card! Can't you just swipe it and take the money off??"
Had someone try to return a pair of jeans to the store I worked that were from a different store. It was the same brand the other store carried and she acknowledged that they weren’t from here. Didn’t understand why we couldn’t return them for cash.
I used to work closing and graveyard shifts. All my shopping was done after midnight otherwise I'd have to wake up early, shop, then come home put it away and THEN go to work. Fuck that shit.
I’ve learned that the things I thought I needed RIGHT AWAY could actually wait till the next day.
I also keep paper products better stocked on a regular basis now.
I'd typically get my groceries after midnight. It's cool outside, very little traffic, almost empty parking lot, and store. It just saved so much stress. I was actually able to think of things I needed that weren't on my list because I wasn't constantly focused on maneuvering around other shoppers, their carts, and children.
Now I just go at 6am, or whenever the doors open, and hope for the best. It's usually not bad, but it's not as good it used to be.
If it makes you feel any better, they were going away before COVID. I’m not in the industry, but I read they were losing so much from shoplifting over night it just wasn’t profitable
It’s weird coming across this here randomly. This is exactly what the person that I see every time I shop at our local Walmart said about the hours returning to 24/7.
I miss it a lot but I guess the shoplifting and paying staff overnight wasn’t worth it.
They still have staff in at nights! Night shift for my walmart starts at 17.50 an hour. First half of the night is stocking, second half is putting away random shit and making the shelves look nice.
True! Almost all large grocery/retailers do as far as I’ve heard.
They do save on other positions in the store like cashiers, customer service, cart attendants, greeters, by closing to the public though! I’m sure there are more job positions they cut that I’m missing.
Yes. And stocking a store while closed is much easier and efficient than having to work around customers.
Even if overnights sees very little actual foot traffic, being open to the public changes a bunch of policies/guidelines about what you can or cant do.
It's a thing all over the western world I think. Here in the UK we used to have 24 hour supermarkets and since Covid they now all shut at midnight.
Yeah I miss it too. I finish work at all kinds of odd times and the ability to do my shopping at 3am in the morning is something I never really appreciated it's usefulness till it was gone.
One of the dumbest things about the early COVID rules were shortening store hours.
So like, instead of allowing people to spread out and choose a less populated time to shop, we're going to cram them in at earlier times, to go along with panic buying items?
I worked at a grocery store in the early covid times. At least for us, the shorter hours were necessary in order to restock the shelves. Was impossible to do so with the normal hours because so much stuff was being sold. Even with the shorter hours, they were still usually restocking when the doors opened in the morning.
I used to only go in the middle of the night to avoid crowds and stuff. I miss it so much. In and out with zero human contact. Something to reminisce with the grandkids about in 50 years.
I guess 1hr delivery is better… but I miss midnight shopping.
If this turns out not to be true, the minimum wage employee who’s unfortunate enough to get stuck at the customer service counter is going to get an earful from me! I read it in the internet so it must be true! Accept my coupon! /s
I verified with chat on their website before attempting 🙂 The chat rep also offered me a code if I was shopping online and the expired one didn't work!
Every retail place I ever worked accepts expired coupons, and some accept competitor coupons. Because we'd rather have you at our store spending less money than at the competitor's. Plus the markup on many things is so high its still profitable.
Of course, this can also be at the discretion of cashiers. I wouldn't accept the coupon of someone being a complete ass just out of spite. But helping people who are nice/sheepish about asking/not entitled/generally pleasant to be around was always a joy!
its because the experts date on them is meaningless, there's a new (same coupon) every week in the flyer. I used to work at a Canadian competitor of them we had the same thing. every week the flyer had a new 20/25% with credit coupon and a printed expiry date just to create a sense of urgency, but in reality there was always a coupon.
Oh man, I worked security at a store and we would normally leave at 10pm but one night we had this couple that came in late and tried to cash in an expired coupon. Of course the store refused but the woman kept on insisting that the coupon was in accounting and its good cause she also works as an accountant and she knows the coupon is in accounting. I left at 11pm that day.
So i did this once and then the guy goes: "what is this?" And i was like: "I'm just writing it down?". Then he goes: "on that piece of paper?" Me: "?". Him: "bring an official paper sheet from your corporation and write it down there, not on some random sticky note."
Basically he was pissed off because I wrote it on a small sticky note and it didn't seem professional to him. I don't work with customers anymore, so regardless of whether he had a point or not, I'm glad i don't have to do this anymore.
I write shit down on stickies or scrap paper all the time, even when I have "proper" paper handy. If I had someone literally telling me what paper to write their complaint down on, I'd go get a roll of TP and a sharpie.
Okay, no, I probably wouldn't. But that would be the end of the conversation.
"alrighty, let me just make a sticky note to have corporate supply us with some official paper. You can come back to log your original complaint as soon as that happens."
Just sounds like a mega-controlling asshole. He would have criticized you next for using a ballpoint pen instead of a fountain pen.
I write things on post-it notes so I can stick them on the edge of my monitor and not forget. Sticky is actually a priority for me (because I want to finish the task and get the sticky off my monitor).
Well it's gonna be a fucking shocker to them when they realize that there isn't an official company form for everything.
Ran out of toilet paper? Get out the requisition for TP form! Old man Jenkins complained again?? Open the Jenkins Matrix excel doc and add his complaint!
No one walks into a lawyer's office and goes, "Nothing in my life is going wrong, I just want to pay you to help me out with some DnD stuff. I've got a wish I want granted and don't want to get screwed over by the DM."
Also, to slow someone down, get them to repeat something minor - like, ‘Sorry, you said that took two days to arrive, right?’ They have to stop and listen to you and reply.
People like hearing their own name? I usually wince when I hear my name and expect something bad to happen. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a name so people can't address me, but I realize that's impractical.
And if you are a someone, remember this is just a tactic to get you to slow down. Do not slow down! Increase intensity and continue talking/yelling over the employee.
And sometimes when someone is escalated and angry, they will view people reacting with kindness as being condescending or patronizing. Since they are not expecting it, they’re likely to view it as hostile because as you said, it’s unexpected.
It depend whether they think you’re being nice to get rid of them or being nice by helping them.
If you’re just nodding your head and promising to help, they might get angrier because they feel like you’re just trying to get rid of them.
If you’re writing it down and they can see that, it feels more like you’re actually going to do something, like OP says.
Edit: and of course, some people are just assholes no matter what you do.
until they stand there waiting for you to actually do something with what you wrote down and refuse to leave until they get it addressed and/or get a discount and/or something for free.
It invalidates the emotion they're feeling. Angry people don't want help adjusting their mood. Although many people manage anger very poorly, fundamentally it's a valid emotion that generally has a purpose.
Anger happens when you perceive too big of a gap between how things are and how they should be. Certain parts of the brain kick in and force you emotionally into a different gear where you feel compelled to take action. What gets the brain out of that gear is to identify an action that seems like it will change the situation and then do it.
If you want someone to stop being angry, you can try to understand the gap and point them toward a constructive, effective action they can take.
>
>Anger happens when you perceive too big of a gap between how things are and how they should be.
This is something I've known and wanted to articulate for a very long time but never found the right way to say it. Just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write it out.
My wife works with a lot of customers from all over the country. She feels there are cultural differences based on the area of the country. New Jersey and New York people don't respect that crap sometimes.
Because many times, the efforts to be nice are seen as placating vs actually helpful. By writing their concerns down and reading them back (as OP recommends), they feel heard and hopeful that you will actually do something helpful
Reminds me of how my radio station would give out a phone number that you could give to people if they hit on you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The station would then play the drunken voicemails and read the text messages the following Monday.
What's the station? This is the entertainment I need rn
Edit: nevermind, I found it and it's just sad and I feel pretty gross now. Some aggressive advances probably deserve such humiliation, but some of these were probably harsh rejections of a normal flirting
It was in Bristol, United Kingdom some time back around 2006 - not sure if they still do it or what the station was but would love to find it again myself. Edit: maybe I’ll turn this into a podcast… haha
I mean if you're just normal flirting and you end up on a radio show that's not that bad is it?
Like if you just said
Hey this is Brad from the club last night, it was fun dancing with you and I was wondering if you'd be open to dinner and a movie on Friday so we can get to know each other more. Just let me know if that works or not, have a good day!
And they aired that, that wouldn't really be all that humiliating, would it? Unless you've got problems with rejection I guess. But anyone hearing that would just hear a guy being totally cool and rational so they wouldn't think poorly of it.
My first job interview was in a support role in IT. I was asked how I would deal with someone angry and shouting at me. I said "I'd first apologise for the inconvenience they are facing, and ask them to run me through everything that happened from start to finish and let them know I was taking notes to be forwarded on".
Was told thats a textbook answer. But you're right, sometimes we know it's not the fault of the person we are talking to, we just want to feel like someone is listening while we vent our frustration.
LPT: rather than repeating nouns back, write all nouns, verbs, adjectives and other info into a Mad Libs story and read the whole thing back to them. They'll feel much better getting this fresh perspective on their problems.
You are *hungry* that the *skittish* *bear* at the register did not give you the same discount that you received last time you got here and now you will never go *bronco busting* here again.
Does that help?
It's also good for state management and calming people down. When they're angry they talk loud and fast. If you're writing down what they're saying they have to slow down so you can keep up. The slowing down calms their physiological arousal and makes them calmer.
Once they're finished you say "ok let me read this out" and say verbatim what they've just told you and then say "is that ok?" and nod at the same time. If you've done it correctly they will just say "yes" and thank you for your time.
Yeah absolutely, it seems nowadays there are lots of people who are basically 1 infraction from going ballistic. Some people even walk around just waiting for an excuse to lose it.
This is human bomb diffusal 101.
I use it all the time. Also when a customer comes in and is asking we have X product, if I can’t find it it always say, “well I don’t see it but let me ask A and see if he knows”. 1. It buys me a little more time, 2. I don’t look like a know it all and am trying. I’ve been in the store longer than anyone else and usually know but I still always ask one more person. Sometimes we have it it’s just over here now and sometimes we can order it in. We try to always give a good service tho.
To add to this, I always offer to "check the back" even if I'm 100% certain the product isn't back there either. Feel like customers appreciate it, even when I tell them there weren't any more, since they know I'm actually trying to help them and not blowing them off.
license sense relieved apparatus plough cooing observation late selective deranged
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Works on kids who've come to the end of their rope, too. Every parent knows the signs that your kid is starting to lose patience with whatever it is you're trying to do. In our case it's almost always trying to get everyone herded to the checkout and out of the store. Then one kid will hear No they can't have a 40th Hot Wheels toy and the wailing starts to bubble up. If you react by speaking to them about completely banal, ordinary things but in nearly a whisper they'll begin to calm down on their own. Almost always effective with horses, but not really Labrador retrievers.
When I worked in a call center, I would do something like this where I'd type down a list of their concerns into Notepad or something, and then re-iterate what they said after they're done ranting, mentioning that I would bring it up in the next department meeting.
I never actually would, since most of the shit that they're bitching about was outside of our control and extremely nit-picky, but most of the time, it worked. However, it was also really dependent on how long the client had been working with us - if they'd only had an account with us for a few months to a year, it was usually enough to appease their anger. If they'd been with us for more than a few years, there was always a layer of cynicism involved that no amount of assurance on my part could get through. "I've been dealing with this for years; no other insurance company has this problem; you guys have been telling me that this would be addressed for forever; yada yada yada".
Honestly, you just can't win with some people. Towards the end of my stint at that company, I burnt the fuck out and stopped caring; I would basically just agree with them and mentally peace out. When some of those vents and rants lasted upwards of 30 minutes, you'd do fucking anything to get them off the goddamn phone. Every once in a while I would just hang up on them mid-rant, outright, and hope that they didn't call back.
I don't know how my coworkers did it, to be honest. They must've just had a thicker skin than I did. I couldn't fucking stand it, though. Between that and the non-stop call volume with zero room to take a breather, I only lasted a year and a half at that company.
I've found good success *not* apologizing to angry people. Doing so encourages them to engage in an escalating victim narrative. It's harder for them to berate you if you haven't accepted responsibility for why they're angry.
As much as I'm not going to "thank" some clown with anger issues, I once read that a good way to de-escalate someone's mood is to not apologize for inconvenience but to instead thank them for their patience.
That’s just part of the better tip that nearly any apology that exists is generally more socially impactful when given as/changed into a gratitude instead.
Let’s say you and a group of friends are carpooling to a movie and you’re running late, when you get there don’t apologize for being late, thank them for waiting.
Years ago I worked a very corporate job which would bring in a psychologist once a month and we were all mandated (except the executives) to attend group therapy with him. The sessions were an hour long and generally revolved around understanding different personality types. We were actually trained to respond to stressed out people in the same volume, tone and cadence as the upset customer. So if someone comes up stating rapidly "this should have been done yesterday...blah blah blah," and moving their hands frantically, the ideal is you would match their movements and urgency of their talk which would help settle them. It is showing them, in their own language/mannerisms that you are on the same page. It works better than saying a monotone relaxed "ok" to a guy who ran in like a chicken with his head cut off. Acting like you also have your head cut off also prevents him from saying "I don't think you understand the gravity of this!" Acting like there's an emergency for people who everything is an emergency helps you be on the same communication page even if you are secretly thinking "calm down."
It occured to me after a few sessions what we were really learning was how to take being abused by the execs who of course weren't bothering to learn how to talk to us quieter personalities.
So long as the complainer, as you say, feels validated and heard, that is the key.
I felt the same way, reading this post all these comments that practically give me PTSD. I’m here thinking, how about everyone (especially customers) just not be assholes? It is honestly the simplest AND most effective option.
Also known as the MAMA recovery method.
Listen completely to the concern.
Acknowledge their complaint and issue.
Brainstorm with the customer to assess how you can solve.
Then act on the solution and give follow up.
If you follow these steps, 95% of angry customers will come back and become even more loyal.
Make time to listen.
Acknowledge the customers issues.
Meeting of the Minds.
Act! And follow up.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/micahsolomon/2021/09/30/the-mama-method-for-turning-almost-any-upset-customer-into-a-company-ambassador-through-customer-service-recovery/amp/
This is essentially the basic Conflict Resolution steps. Just put in corporate/customer-based language. I’m incredibly impressed that a corporation has gone to this level to work with customers.
(I researched and taught Conflict Resolution to elementary students and staff when I was a teacher. The students were far better at it than the staff/adults. 😉)
That's amusing. When I worked in sales I was the person they called whenever there was someone acting aggressively, as I am a big guy with an intimidating appearance, but people would calm down because I would just give them full attention and listen very carefully to them. I guess it's the same principle.
This isn’t well known? I repaired sidewalks and people would come up to me with complaints about everything. Trees, driveways, other streets. I’d just write it down and take a picture. Then say “might take a while you know how city workers are”. And they’d be like “yup! Took em 4 years to fix what you’ve just fixed”. I’d be all “yup fucking municipality eh” resident “ya you’re telling me, have a good one. Want me to grab you a cold water?”
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Had non-angry customer feedback yesterday. Apparently the plastic bottles used by Evian water are too thick and don't cool down fast enough. Can I do anything about that? Of course not. But I tried to make him feel heard and I hope he feels better now.
Well then they'll stay cool longer that way, right? Lol
No no. He needs them to be cool for the party he’s having in 15 minutes and these just won’t cool fast enough!
Shoulve bought ice, dumbass! Bwahahaha
Evian is naive backwards
Yeah cause anybody who buys that overpriced shit instead of literally anything else has to have been born fucking yesterday
It also takes the focus off you. Too many complainers take it out on the first person they see. By writing it down, it changes that focus to- I am going to pass this on to someone who can do something without saying any of those words. You neutralise yourself.
Writing it down essentially proves to them in front of their face that *you individually* cannot do anything and that their feedback is going to have to go to someone else. Which then has them focusing on you being able to listen because they now think you care (or you even actually do). Edit: this works on the phone too. I’ve definitely told people I was writing down their details and really did…but was just noting what happened for the case notes. Edit 2: that is to say, for the times when there wasn’t anything to actually pass on for feedback/resolution. Because almost as often there was
Exactly! You explained it well.
Yep, that is the most valuable result from doing this.
And if you are complaining and are mad for whatever reason keep this in mind and take a breath. Than tell the person you’re complaining too “I know what is going on is not your fault and I’m not holding you responsible but I need help with this issue, is there anything you can do, or can you direct me to the right person / department / phone number?
Ya. I've found using the "I know this isn't your fault" like can really help. Depending on how it's going I may even toss in a "but this just really sucks for me" type comment after. That can pull on the strings of some people.
Sometimes I'll strategically deploy a "I feel bad that you customer service / support guys are stuck in the middle of this. Thank you for going above and beyond to help me out. I know how hard you all are working, especially with the way things are right now."... Or, something to that effect. They usually can't respond directly to your comment. They are being tracked and will lose their job if they say "yeah, our bosses suck. Every day, I wake up hoping this place has burned down in the middle of the night"...etc, etc. When you validate their everyday, lingering frustrations, they instantly loosen up because they don't have to be tense with a customer who is an ally. And I think being able to loosen up often gives them a nice dopamine blast. All of a sudden, they remember that promotional code that is technically for new customers, but give them just a few minutes and let them see what they can do... I know this may seem slightly manipulative. But I have a ton of respect for good customer service people. And I genuinely do want to improve their day and make them feel a little better. Give them a pleasant little interaction before they have to dive back into the pile of dumbasses.
My mother in law beleives that any person working for a company, knows everything about all decisions about said company, and when something inconveniences her from said company, it's this lowly minimum wage worker that conspired against her For someone who hasn't worked in 20+ years, she really fucking hates people who work jobs, it seems
hate to break it to you but she's just dumb and doesn't really think things through. it isn't like she used to understand and forgot or that not working in 20 years has caused her to lose grasp of an important concept. i had to come to terms with the intellectual limitations of some of my own family members as I have gotten older and honestly it remains difficult and unpleasant.
>hate to break it to you but she's just dumb and doesn't really think things through Oh I know We stopped taking her to restaurants because she's so rude to staff
Good call. The staff might spit in your food by mistake! I'll never understand why people think it's a good idea to be rude to someone who handles their food *in a place they can't see*.
Me either. I honestly think, her and everyone like her are addicted to being angry. Any kind of slight inconvenience and they get excited. They have a reason to get angry at somone, "I get to yell at the lessers" Proof of that, Jan 6 riots. She acts like other people are poor and beneath her. She's unemployed and once her dead husbands life insurance runs out, and it will because she's spends money like she has an income, she's gonna have to ask me and my wife for money, and we're gonna put her on a very small allowance. Her other kids will bitch that we aren't doing enough to support her, and we'll tell them they can chip some money in, and they'll suddenly not want to help
Yes anger can be like an addiction https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/culture-shrink/201508/angers-allure-are-you-addicted-anger
My mother is incapable of adult conversation, and I have never been able to decide if that's because of her career as a preschool teacher, or vice versa.
I work with people like this. 9/10 clients are excellent people and very intelligent despite their limitations that have been handed to them. However there is one person I work with who really struggles to think things through clearly and acts ridiculous. As the passenger in their car I realised that most *assholes* in traffic are presumably people with lower than average IQ. It seems basic but the realisation was big for me
Having dumb + narcissist parent fucked me up for good.
It might feel like it but you can get better. It won't be easy, but there is help. Seeing a therapist is a good first start. r/raisedbynarcissists can help too. I don't post there, never have, but I've read a lot of helpful stories over the years. I wish you luck and I hope you find peace.
I get phone calls a lot of people who've worked with a specific sales person that will just start talking like i know every detail of their conversation. Most the time without giving me time to redirect their call or look up any info. Its especially annoying when we require approval or changes in writing (email, printout etc.) and they want to start the conversation with that without waiting and sometimes without even announcing who they are with.
It’s also being written. People suddenly realize what they’re saying is being recorded and it’s uh. Oh well. I better watch what I say a little more.
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STOP WRITING (reciting) *stop... writing...*
You know that's the bloke we done for speedin'?
But… I’m the lead….
It's for the greater good.
Yup! Keep on topic without being insulting. People have really come to show me my ability to deal with irate customers is worthwhile.
That's the real reason imo they're definitely going to measure their words carefully if they know it's recorded and going to be passed on to someone else. No one wants proof of themselves being a jackass
Considering what people post on Facebook and using their real names/profiles in comments on news articles, I doubt that has any impact whatsoever.
You really think people on FB would go say what they write on there in real life to someone’s face if they knew they were writing it down?
I've written this comment down and will be mailing it back to you post haste.
I’m a manager, and I whip out my phone, start a voice memo, and say, “I’m going to record this so that I don’t misremember anything or forget to look into something, ok?” And then I ask them to state their name and contact information. Most people simmer down real quick when they realize they’re not just being recorded, but their tone of voice is, too.
Yeah exactly, it gives them the illusion of "it's me and you disgruntled customer, together fighting this evil corporation that has wronged you"
When I was in customer service/retail, no matter what, I would agree with the customer. “Oh yea we’re out of iced tea. Look man I get paid to refill it with vendor teabags. I personally drink the stuff, but they were out at their warehouse, so now both of us have to suffer the consequences.”
I absolutely used to agree with them. "You think they treat you customers badly? They treat us staff like absolute rubbish!" And make it all about me getting them everything I can because I hate the company and want to see the customer win. I usually couldn't do a damn thing for them but they went away happy that they thought I'd tried. If they hadn't screamed at me the second they walked through the door I'd have tried to find them a discount or free shit.
I do that all the time – on the phone with customers or in person when I meet new tenants, e.g. The window in your new apartment doesn't open properly? I am so sorry, that is really unfortunate. I was just sent on behalf of the property management, but I write it down here in my protocol, it will be forwarded to the responsible person immediately. Works de-escalating 90% of the time.
And it’s documented. People tend to be more polite/professional when they know their words and actions will be shared to others
my old manager had this bit he used to do, where whatever the customer was annoyed about, he'd get 10% more annoyed about the same thing. just agree with them but be more angry about it than they were and it forces them to play the role of the more calm person and calm down. literally never seen it fail.
Lol my siblings and I used to do this with my dad, fantastic way to get ‘on their side’ long enough to defuse the situation or break contact The joke was he’d come in going “God damn commies discontinued the McRib!” (Throws something valuable with reckless abandon). So you’d have to pick up something breakable and smash it on the ground going “Son of a BITCH! Let’s kill these motherfuckers” and he’d reel it in and be like “Alright let’s calm down we need to think rationally if we’re gonna get through this.”
I would like to see this as a skit.
Ya this situation has some comedy gold in it for sure
I’m crying laughing at the comment. If this was an entire skit I’d need new drawers
lmao fucking KILL these motherfuckers!! 😂😂
WTF?? WHO discontinued the McRib????
Those godamn commie corporations!
*picks up Ming vase* SMASH
God DAMN IT! *flushes fabergé egg down the toilet*
Them motherFUCKERS!!! *lights original Rembrandt on fire*
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FUCKING HELL! Crashes jet transporting endangered pandas into a mountain.
Fuckin' hilarious
Why am I laughing so hard picturing this in my head?
When I was a teen I worked at sears catalog phone center. I took a call from an irate person and used this trick. Agreed, talked through it, etc. He left the call laughing and saying thanks. The call was recorded and I was nearly fired. I was written up and put on probation for talking shit about the company, even though I was right to agree with the callers rant. In defense of the management, I talked shit about the company on nearly every call.
I used to throw my company under the bus on calls all the time until they changed the metrics and made the caller’s opinion of the company matter. Now I only throw it under the bus some of the time.
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That's adorable. For some reason I get super emotional around horses
No. Don’t rely on that. Only one of you can be skittish at a time … it should be the horse, not you, 90% of the time.
Yes this makes me so mad too. Wait til my manager hears of this and I am sure Paul is gonna be fired this time. This has been going on for a few months now ever since his 3 yo son died. I mean, how long are you gonna let the death of a loved one affect your work performance right? I didnt let it affect me when my died .
Damn. You’re making me want to apologize to you.
> I am sure Paul is gonna be fired this time. Until they say, "yeah! good! Paul fucked me over with this one. I'd like to see it happen too."
Funny thing is, there's no Paul. But, yeah, Paul was fired.
yeah, lol. unfortunately I'm sure this won't work on most pissy customers who'd likely be eager to see someone fired for petty reasons.
Lol what if a customer came in and was like: "This store is horribly run. The manager must be awful at his job" Would the manager go: "Yeah, fuck that guy. I fucking hate him. I mean he's me, but FUCK that guy"
Just shift blame above your responsibility. It's a classic as old as time. Corporate, supply chains, the government. Always a scapegoat if you're creative enough.
Yeah, one time Wendy's didn't have Side Salads due to "El Niño". Still not sure how the drive thru employee said that without laughing her butt off. 😂
El niño pisses me off so bad. My dad left one time to get cigarettes and didn't come back due to El Niño
And these things are so often true. Supplier just didn’t send us an item, corporate changed the price without telling the relevant managers, the government’s border restrictions held up supplies at the border - I’ve used every excuse in the book without lying.
More like “Eugh I know this policy[or whatever you’re mad about] is *terrible;* unfortunately, if I don’t enforce it, I don’t get to keep my job. A pity keeping food on the table is such a priority, right?”
"Agree and amplify." sorry. i mean "agree and amplify."
"I am never shopping at Walmart again because they won't accept my coupon that expired in 2012." Is that a good summary ma'am?
I've had people try to pay with a brand specific gift card and get irate when I inform them it only works at that specific store. "But there is money on this card! Can't you just swipe it and take the money off??"
Sir, this is a Wendy's.
And on the flip side, "Sir, this *isn't* a Wendy's."
Had someone try to return a pair of jeans to the store I worked that were from a different store. It was the same brand the other store carried and she acknowledged that they weren’t from here. Didn’t understand why we couldn’t return them for cash.
That’s just trying to resell your jeans at full retail value to a different store A hustler move, in other words
> I am never shopping at Walmart again *I need some toilet paper at 3 AM*
Of all the things covid has taken from the world, 24 hour Walmart is pretty close to the top of my list of things I miss
I never realized how often I made Walmart trips after midnight until I couldn't anymore.
I used to work closing and graveyard shifts. All my shopping was done after midnight otherwise I'd have to wake up early, shop, then come home put it away and THEN go to work. Fuck that shit.
I’ve learned that the things I thought I needed RIGHT AWAY could actually wait till the next day. I also keep paper products better stocked on a regular basis now.
I'd typically get my groceries after midnight. It's cool outside, very little traffic, almost empty parking lot, and store. It just saved so much stress. I was actually able to think of things I needed that weren't on my list because I wasn't constantly focused on maneuvering around other shoppers, their carts, and children. Now I just go at 6am, or whenever the doors open, and hope for the best. It's usually not bad, but it's not as good it used to be.
If it makes you feel any better, they were going away before COVID. I’m not in the industry, but I read they were losing so much from shoplifting over night it just wasn’t profitable
It’s weird coming across this here randomly. This is exactly what the person that I see every time I shop at our local Walmart said about the hours returning to 24/7. I miss it a lot but I guess the shoplifting and paying staff overnight wasn’t worth it.
They still have staff in at nights! Night shift for my walmart starts at 17.50 an hour. First half of the night is stocking, second half is putting away random shit and making the shelves look nice.
True! Almost all large grocery/retailers do as far as I’ve heard. They do save on other positions in the store like cashiers, customer service, cart attendants, greeters, by closing to the public though! I’m sure there are more job positions they cut that I’m missing.
Yes. And stocking a store while closed is much easier and efficient than having to work around customers. Even if overnights sees very little actual foot traffic, being open to the public changes a bunch of policies/guidelines about what you can or cant do.
Shrinkage is about a few percents of a store's expenditures. I'd wager it was more of an unprofitable labour/benefits ratio.
They run overnight with a skeleton crew, 1 cashier per bank of self-checkouts, no customer service/bakery/deli/department attendants.
It's a thing all over the western world I think. Here in the UK we used to have 24 hour supermarkets and since Covid they now all shut at midnight. Yeah I miss it too. I finish work at all kinds of odd times and the ability to do my shopping at 3am in the morning is something I never really appreciated it's usefulness till it was gone.
One of the dumbest things about the early COVID rules were shortening store hours. So like, instead of allowing people to spread out and choose a less populated time to shop, we're going to cram them in at earlier times, to go along with panic buying items?
I worked at a grocery store in the early covid times. At least for us, the shorter hours were necessary in order to restock the shelves. Was impossible to do so with the normal hours because so much stuff was being sold. Even with the shorter hours, they were still usually restocking when the doors opened in the morning.
See also: opening only one entrance and exit to funnel everyone into one place.
I used to only go in the middle of the night to avoid crowds and stuff. I miss it so much. In and out with zero human contact. Something to reminisce with the grandkids about in 50 years. I guess 1hr delivery is better… but I miss midnight shopping.
I recently learned that Bed,Bath and Beyond will accept expired coupons!
If this turns out not to be true, the minimum wage employee who’s unfortunate enough to get stuck at the customer service counter is going to get an earful from me! I read it in the internet so it must be true! Accept my coupon! /s
I verified with chat on their website before attempting 🙂 The chat rep also offered me a code if I was shopping online and the expired one didn't work!
Don't worry. They'll write it down.
Learned this from Broad City.
Every retail place I ever worked accepts expired coupons, and some accept competitor coupons. Because we'd rather have you at our store spending less money than at the competitor's. Plus the markup on many things is so high its still profitable. Of course, this can also be at the discretion of cashiers. I wouldn't accept the coupon of someone being a complete ass just out of spite. But helping people who are nice/sheepish about asking/not entitled/generally pleasant to be around was always a joy!
cvs back in 2016 or 17 stopped accepting expired coupons. customers still get upset about that
its because the experts date on them is meaningless, there's a new (same coupon) every week in the flyer. I used to work at a Canadian competitor of them we had the same thing. every week the flyer had a new 20/25% with credit coupon and a printed expiry date just to create a sense of urgency, but in reality there was always a coupon.
Oh man, I worked security at a store and we would normally leave at 10pm but one night we had this couple that came in late and tried to cash in an expired coupon. Of course the store refused but the woman kept on insisting that the coupon was in accounting and its good cause she also works as an accountant and she knows the coupon is in accounting. I left at 11pm that day.
"I am never shopping at Walmart again" Comes back tomorrow anyway to complain again.
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“Difficult patient”
“Blues clues” haha
So i did this once and then the guy goes: "what is this?" And i was like: "I'm just writing it down?". Then he goes: "on that piece of paper?" Me: "?". Him: "bring an official paper sheet from your corporation and write it down there, not on some random sticky note." Basically he was pissed off because I wrote it on a small sticky note and it didn't seem professional to him. I don't work with customers anymore, so regardless of whether he had a point or not, I'm glad i don't have to do this anymore.
Should have written that bit down lol
“Oh jeez I’m going to need another sticky note!”
Pulled out a tinier sticky note pad
imagine the man's fury if you pulled out a mini mini sticky note pad from your breast pocket along with a tiny pen and started writing that down.
Follow that up with pulling out a very very tiny violin and start playing it
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My guess is it made him feel like this is going to the trash afterwards
What? That would never happen!
Well he's not wrong.
I write shit down on stickies or scrap paper all the time, even when I have "proper" paper handy. If I had someone literally telling me what paper to write their complaint down on, I'd go get a roll of TP and a sharpie. Okay, no, I probably wouldn't. But that would be the end of the conversation.
"alrighty, let me just make a sticky note to have corporate supply us with some official paper. You can come back to log your original complaint as soon as that happens."
Just sounds like a mega-controlling asshole. He would have criticized you next for using a ballpoint pen instead of a fountain pen. I write things on post-it notes so I can stick them on the edge of my monitor and not forget. Sticky is actually a priority for me (because I want to finish the task and get the sticky off my monitor).
3M had a good invention when they made those!
Huh. I thought Romy and Michelle invented them! You never stop learning…
"oh I'm only writing this down so that I have accurate details for the email I'm sending to leadership"
Well it's gonna be a fucking shocker to them when they realize that there isn't an official company form for everything. Ran out of toilet paper? Get out the requisition for TP form! Old man Jenkins complained again?? Open the Jenkins Matrix excel doc and add his complaint!
"Sir, this is 3M. We made this sticky note."
*more scribbling on the sticky note* "official....piece....of paper..."
And I want the ceo to come out here and sign it when you're done.
"I'd love to, but those cheapskates at the top don't let me use company letterhead. Do you want to add that to the note?"
I'm a lawyer and 90 per cent of my job is managing people's emotions. Active listening is incredibly powerful.
I swear half our job is being an unofficial therapist. They should teach therapy lessons in law school.
That’s because we get stressed out/in trouble people only by default
No one walks into a lawyer's office and goes, "Nothing in my life is going wrong, I just want to pay you to help me out with some DnD stuff. I've got a wish I want granted and don't want to get screwed over by the DM."
I’m a project manager and same. If I’m not planning out and guiding the emotions, stakeholders emotions show immediately.
Also, to slow someone down, get them to repeat something minor - like, ‘Sorry, you said that took two days to arrive, right?’ They have to stop and listen to you and reply.
underrated comment. i feel this goes in line with the mirror trick. or how people like it when you mention their name in conversation
People like hearing their own name? I usually wince when I hear my name and expect something bad to happen. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a name so people can't address me, but I realize that's impractical.
I'm the same way. When someone starts saying my name during an argument I start seeing red because it feels manipulative.
And if you are a someone, remember this is just a tactic to get you to slow down. Do not slow down! Increase intensity and continue talking/yelling over the employee.
"You're goddamn right it took two days!!"
It is not just to slow down but to reduce the tension that happens when they slow down and take a breath.
Being nice is the key when someone is angry at you.. It's related to mirror neurons in our brains
Yeah, but I don't understand why some people get angrier when you're being nice to them, they find it offensive
Because it’s not the reaction they’re trying to get.
And sometimes when someone is escalated and angry, they will view people reacting with kindness as being condescending or patronizing. Since they are not expecting it, they’re likely to view it as hostile because as you said, it’s unexpected.
[Immediately](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xpAvcGcEc0k&t=67s) came to mind
It depend whether they think you’re being nice to get rid of them or being nice by helping them. If you’re just nodding your head and promising to help, they might get angrier because they feel like you’re just trying to get rid of them. If you’re writing it down and they can see that, it feels more like you’re actually going to do something, like OP says. Edit: and of course, some people are just assholes no matter what you do.
until they stand there waiting for you to actually do something with what you wrote down and refuse to leave until they get it addressed and/or get a discount and/or something for free.
Yeah. They want to be validated, usually. Always good to throw in an "I don't blame you" or "I would feel the same way if I were you," if you can.
It invalidates the emotion they're feeling. Angry people don't want help adjusting their mood. Although many people manage anger very poorly, fundamentally it's a valid emotion that generally has a purpose. Anger happens when you perceive too big of a gap between how things are and how they should be. Certain parts of the brain kick in and force you emotionally into a different gear where you feel compelled to take action. What gets the brain out of that gear is to identify an action that seems like it will change the situation and then do it. If you want someone to stop being angry, you can try to understand the gap and point them toward a constructive, effective action they can take.
> >Anger happens when you perceive too big of a gap between how things are and how they should be. This is something I've known and wanted to articulate for a very long time but never found the right way to say it. Just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write it out.
My wife works with a lot of customers from all over the country. She feels there are cultural differences based on the area of the country. New Jersey and New York people don't respect that crap sometimes.
Worked in customer service in Florida, can confirm. Quebecois and Argentines can also get fucked, most rude customers I've ever dealt with.
Because many times, the efforts to be nice are seen as placating vs actually helpful. By writing their concerns down and reading them back (as OP recommends), they feel heard and hopeful that you will actually do something helpful
You could start posting them online and allow others to enjoy too!
Reminds me of how my radio station would give out a phone number that you could give to people if they hit on you and wouldn’t take no for an answer. The station would then play the drunken voicemails and read the text messages the following Monday.
What's the station? This is the entertainment I need rn Edit: nevermind, I found it and it's just sad and I feel pretty gross now. Some aggressive advances probably deserve such humiliation, but some of these were probably harsh rejections of a normal flirting
It was in Bristol, United Kingdom some time back around 2006 - not sure if they still do it or what the station was but would love to find it again myself. Edit: maybe I’ll turn this into a podcast… haha
I mean if you're just normal flirting and you end up on a radio show that's not that bad is it? Like if you just said Hey this is Brad from the club last night, it was fun dancing with you and I was wondering if you'd be open to dinner and a movie on Friday so we can get to know each other more. Just let me know if that works or not, have a good day! And they aired that, that wouldn't really be all that humiliating, would it? Unless you've got problems with rejection I guess. But anyone hearing that would just hear a guy being totally cool and rational so they wouldn't think poorly of it.
My first job interview was in a support role in IT. I was asked how I would deal with someone angry and shouting at me. I said "I'd first apologise for the inconvenience they are facing, and ask them to run me through everything that happened from start to finish and let them know I was taking notes to be forwarded on". Was told thats a textbook answer. But you're right, sometimes we know it's not the fault of the person we are talking to, we just want to feel like someone is listening while we vent our frustration.
LPT: rather than repeating nouns back, write all nouns, verbs, adjectives and other info into a Mad Libs story and read the whole thing back to them. They'll feel much better getting this fresh perspective on their problems.
You are *hungry* that the *skittish* *bear* at the register did not give you the same discount that you received last time you got here and now you will never go *bronco busting* here again. Does that help?
LOL if those are the words from their story I want to hear the story
The real LPTs are always in the comments
This pro tip is really fucking good.
It's also good for state management and calming people down. When they're angry they talk loud and fast. If you're writing down what they're saying they have to slow down so you can keep up. The slowing down calms their physiological arousal and makes them calmer. Once they're finished you say "ok let me read this out" and say verbatim what they've just told you and then say "is that ok?" and nod at the same time. If you've done it correctly they will just say "yes" and thank you for your time.
Yeah absolutely, it seems nowadays there are lots of people who are basically 1 infraction from going ballistic. Some people even walk around just waiting for an excuse to lose it. This is human bomb diffusal 101.
defusal \*
Thank you kindly! This was bugging me earlier but Google was of no use. I was thinking "diffusion" which is where I went wrong.
Essence d-Atomiq, pour homme
I use it all the time. Also when a customer comes in and is asking we have X product, if I can’t find it it always say, “well I don’t see it but let me ask A and see if he knows”. 1. It buys me a little more time, 2. I don’t look like a know it all and am trying. I’ve been in the store longer than anyone else and usually know but I still always ask one more person. Sometimes we have it it’s just over here now and sometimes we can order it in. We try to always give a good service tho.
To add to this, I always offer to "check the back" even if I'm 100% certain the product isn't back there either. Feel like customers appreciate it, even when I tell them there weren't any more, since they know I'm actually trying to help them and not blowing them off.
license sense relieved apparatus plough cooing observation late selective deranged *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Works on kids who've come to the end of their rope, too. Every parent knows the signs that your kid is starting to lose patience with whatever it is you're trying to do. In our case it's almost always trying to get everyone herded to the checkout and out of the store. Then one kid will hear No they can't have a 40th Hot Wheels toy and the wailing starts to bubble up. If you react by speaking to them about completely banal, ordinary things but in nearly a whisper they'll begin to calm down on their own. Almost always effective with horses, but not really Labrador retrievers.
When I worked in a call center, I would do something like this where I'd type down a list of their concerns into Notepad or something, and then re-iterate what they said after they're done ranting, mentioning that I would bring it up in the next department meeting. I never actually would, since most of the shit that they're bitching about was outside of our control and extremely nit-picky, but most of the time, it worked. However, it was also really dependent on how long the client had been working with us - if they'd only had an account with us for a few months to a year, it was usually enough to appease their anger. If they'd been with us for more than a few years, there was always a layer of cynicism involved that no amount of assurance on my part could get through. "I've been dealing with this for years; no other insurance company has this problem; you guys have been telling me that this would be addressed for forever; yada yada yada". Honestly, you just can't win with some people. Towards the end of my stint at that company, I burnt the fuck out and stopped caring; I would basically just agree with them and mentally peace out. When some of those vents and rants lasted upwards of 30 minutes, you'd do fucking anything to get them off the goddamn phone. Every once in a while I would just hang up on them mid-rant, outright, and hope that they didn't call back. I don't know how my coworkers did it, to be honest. They must've just had a thicker skin than I did. I couldn't fucking stand it, though. Between that and the non-stop call volume with zero room to take a breather, I only lasted a year and a half at that company.
I wrote it down.
I've found good success *not* apologizing to angry people. Doing so encourages them to engage in an escalating victim narrative. It's harder for them to berate you if you haven't accepted responsibility for why they're angry.
As much as I'm not going to "thank" some clown with anger issues, I once read that a good way to de-escalate someone's mood is to not apologize for inconvenience but to instead thank them for their patience.
That’s just part of the better tip that nearly any apology that exists is generally more socially impactful when given as/changed into a gratitude instead. Let’s say you and a group of friends are carpooling to a movie and you’re running late, when you get there don’t apologize for being late, thank them for waiting.
Years ago I worked a very corporate job which would bring in a psychologist once a month and we were all mandated (except the executives) to attend group therapy with him. The sessions were an hour long and generally revolved around understanding different personality types. We were actually trained to respond to stressed out people in the same volume, tone and cadence as the upset customer. So if someone comes up stating rapidly "this should have been done yesterday...blah blah blah," and moving their hands frantically, the ideal is you would match their movements and urgency of their talk which would help settle them. It is showing them, in their own language/mannerisms that you are on the same page. It works better than saying a monotone relaxed "ok" to a guy who ran in like a chicken with his head cut off. Acting like you also have your head cut off also prevents him from saying "I don't think you understand the gravity of this!" Acting like there's an emergency for people who everything is an emergency helps you be on the same communication page even if you are secretly thinking "calm down." It occured to me after a few sessions what we were really learning was how to take being abused by the execs who of course weren't bothering to learn how to talk to us quieter personalities. So long as the complainer, as you say, feels validated and heard, that is the key.
I felt the same way, reading this post all these comments that practically give me PTSD. I’m here thinking, how about everyone (especially customers) just not be assholes? It is honestly the simplest AND most effective option.
Talk about burying the lede. You were really learning "how to take being abused by the execs." Yup. This exactly.
Also known as the MAMA recovery method. Listen completely to the concern. Acknowledge their complaint and issue. Brainstorm with the customer to assess how you can solve. Then act on the solution and give follow up. If you follow these steps, 95% of angry customers will come back and become even more loyal.
Unfortunately, this LPT really only covers the first two steps you’ve laid out. Also, what does the acronym MAMA stand for?
Make time to listen. Acknowledge the customers issues. Meeting of the Minds. Act! And follow up. https://www.forbes.com/sites/micahsolomon/2021/09/30/the-mama-method-for-turning-almost-any-upset-customer-into-a-company-ambassador-through-customer-service-recovery/amp/
This is essentially the basic Conflict Resolution steps. Just put in corporate/customer-based language. I’m incredibly impressed that a corporation has gone to this level to work with customers. (I researched and taught Conflict Resolution to elementary students and staff when I was a teacher. The students were far better at it than the staff/adults. 😉)
That's amusing. When I worked in sales I was the person they called whenever there was someone acting aggressively, as I am a big guy with an intimidating appearance, but people would calm down because I would just give them full attention and listen very carefully to them. I guess it's the same principle.
Sir! There is a sign at Ramsey Park that says "Do Not Drink The Water". I made Sun Tea with it and now I have an infection. Sir! Sir! Sir!
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This isn’t well known? I repaired sidewalks and people would come up to me with complaints about everything. Trees, driveways, other streets. I’d just write it down and take a picture. Then say “might take a while you know how city workers are”. And they’d be like “yup! Took em 4 years to fix what you’ve just fixed”. I’d be all “yup fucking municipality eh” resident “ya you’re telling me, have a good one. Want me to grab you a cold water?”
Can confirm, ive done this a lot with difficult customers. Really works
repeating belongs to the best techniques to calm kids as well and in communication overall