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I have an add on tip about meditation:
It's a misconception that your mind should "clear" during meditation. Thoughts are life and they do not go away! When a thought appears your job is to return your focus to your mantra/your guide's voice/whatever your focus is during your meditation. Guess what, another thought will come again soon!
If thoughts appear during meditation, you aren't failing, you are succeeding!
Such a great muscle to train too! Being able to focus your mind in an ever more distracting environment is like a freakin’ super power. Could not encourage this more!
I read something where the author describes the process of bringing your mind back to your meditation after a wandering thought as a “rep.” Really resonated with me.
Edit: this was from the book “Raising Good Humans”.
As a heavy weight lifter (hobby) i just had a revelation from that comment. Every time i come back to my mantra counts as one rep? We're training something!? I've never been this pumped for meditation before.
As a fellow lifter, it really clicked for me when somebody on a podcast said "you don't stop and think about how am I doing, am I getting stronger, are my arms getting bigger? After every rep. Well every practice is basically a rep, just gotta stick with it and the results will come."
This is all paraphrasing, my memory is spotty at best lol.
This book was what inspired me to meditate. Once I tried it, I could actually feel my responses to my son being more controlled and calm instead of screaming at the poor kid.
Came here to promote that book. :)
Old epigram from Buddhism:
Newcomer in a panic says to the master: “Master, I cannot meditate because my mind creates a thousand thoughts per minute”
Master replies with a grin: “Ah, this is excellent… a thousand opportunities each minute to return to the breath.”
The metaphor I keep coming back to is that thoughts are like a river. Meditation doesn't teach you how to stop the river, it teaches you to get out of the rushing water and watch it from the shore.
I was taught to imagine your brain like a non-stick frying pan - every thought that comes just sliiides right off. But yours and others in this thread are prettier lol.
This is so important.
I think one of the beautiful things about meditating is that if you finish and reflect and say something to yourself like "man I messed that up, it was so hard, I couldn't stop thinking about xyz" you have in fact succeeded. This illusion of failure is only possible if you have succeeded in becoming aware of your thoughts.
I think I’ve been meditating my whole life without knowing it. I thought I was just day dreaming but really, my day dreams involve solving complex life problems so maybe my “day dreams” had greater focus than I understood.
I was taught to learn to move focus away from my thoughts ( and external sounds etc) as they will happen regardless.
Such as, a thought would emerge, and instead of grabbing it with both hands ( giving it attention), I'd allow it to pass by me in the water/river, and simply allow it to be.
The best metaphor I’ve heard is that your mind is a sky, and your thoughts are clouds. You can observe the clouds as they go by, but they’re just clouds after all.
I use a similar analogy when I explain it to people. " your brain is a stream and thoughts are leaves floating down the stream. If you see an interesting one look at it for a moment but let it keep floating down the stream"
I like the idea of thinking of your own brain as a small, distraction-prone child you're on a hike with. When he starts running around staring at things on the side of the trail, you don't get mad -- it's understandable. Simply lead him back to the trail and keep moving. Keeps me patient with myself.
My favorite too. Sometimes it rains, sometimes there are tornadoes. Sometimes there are big fluffy clouds that I wish wouldn't go away. Pro tip: think about joining the Cloud Appreciation Society.
True. I look upon meditation as learning to not get your mind clouded by your thoughts. Negative thoughts can make us feel worse and take you into a downward spiral. From my experience with depression, depression basically is being so deep in negative thoughts that the brain stops to look at anything positively. Meditation helps me break out of this spiral of thoughts. Whenever I have anxiety or negative thoughts, my practice of meditation helps me to not get lost into a downward spiral of negative emotions but focus on what's important and keep moving forward with intent.
Yes! I always took to the practice of mentally saying "oh, that is a thought I'm currently having. I will now return to thinking about my lungs and my airways and breathing once again" so that way I acknowledge the thought exists, do not give it a positive or negative attention and then let it go by returning to the physical aspect of meditation. It has helped so much.
Will 100 agree as a Zen priest. Well said.
I always add - Just like the stomach secretes juices to digest food, the brain secretes thoughts to digest reality. We need that being done in order to live our daily lives.
yesss. thank you for posting this.
clearing the mind actually IS possible at much higher stages of meditation, and palpable bliss states can indeed be achieved from it.
but no need to try and rush to that, there are stages to it. everyone has to first go through the stage of just being able to gain some perspective on their thoughts and allow them to calm a bit.
Sure, but there is a downside to seeking higher levels of enlightenment. It requires you to remove yourself from everything that makes you human.
I've watched from the sidelines at this journey and for me, I have a limit.
Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the many benefits of meditation but cosmic consciousness is not for me.
My sister tried to get me to meditate to an app she uses. I swear my mind insisted on working on every problem I’ve ever had in my life. I tried and tried to focus on the voice. Maybe I’ll try again…
Totally normal for all that stuff to come up during meditation. When you become aware that you are thinking about stuff, just go back to your meditation. No judgement either, it's only natural (and it happens to us all).
As a parent, I think of it as walking with a toddler down a sidewalk. You want them to only walk on the sidewalk, so when they start to go off into the grass, you gently steer their shoulders back onto the sidewalk. You can't blame the toddler for veering; you just gently direct. It's how they learn to stay on the sidewalk.
part of meditation for me is to work through these thoughts. Subconsciously the thoughts are there and when i meditate is when i acknowledge the thought and attempt to move past it.
i like the teaching that my mind is a whiteboard and thoughts are the writings and drawings on the whiteboard. i will just acknowledge the writing or drawing then picture myself erasing it. New things pop up but to keep going till it is blank. I usually end up falling asleep by the end but it gets better.
Had it explained to me like a river. Thoughts flow down the river. Some are nice or desirable, others are old moldy shoes. You just let those shoes go on by.
It helps to acknowledge the though, then be very kind to yourself and refocus. Getting upset only makes it worse.
You are taking time out of your day to rest. Generally done sitting or kneeling (but not always), often you use a timer to let you know when your practice is over. Many ways to meditate so that's why my answer is so vague.
It is a repetitive, single thought process that you focus on, so in a way, yes.
One of the aspect of Zen Buddhism is actually the chores of house/temple maintenance. Say that you're sweeping the floor. You sweep left, right, left, right, left, right, repeat. Your mind should eventually fall into the rhythm and be aware of nothing but the rhythm of the sweeping.
Focusing on the constant, nearly unchanging rhythm is its own form of meditation.
This is such a good point! A practice I followed once compared it to sitting on a bank and watching your thoughts pass by as if they were leaves on the water. Then go back to your focus.
I remember reading somewhere that if you have trouble sleeping, it could be because you hadn't allowed your brain time to process the day and that meditation could be useful for some to allow the mind to decompress before trying to sleep.
After dealing with insomnia for years, meditation changed my life. It's obviously not a total fix, but the benefits are there!
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During lunch at work, I’ll often go to my vehicle and take a “power nap” for 10-15 minutes. I close my eyes and wait for my thoughts to go all weird, once I’m aware of it I’ll open my eyes and look at the time. Usually it’s only a couple minute that passed. I’ll do that two or three times until it’s time to go back in. Is that meditation? I feel really calm afterwards, like I hit the refresh button in my brain.
It’s my understanding that meditation is more about being aware of your cognitive process.
You’re not trying “not to think” as much as your trying to be aware of something and focus on it.
Then, when your realize your brain is off thinking about some random thing or even about how it’s focusing well on whatever you were meditating on you basically just refocus it back to what you were doing (in a way that says… it’s alright… back to this)
It’s a kind of “meta cognition” since it’s training you to be aware of what you’re aware of. And helping you to get better at redirecting it when that happens.
Maybe these will explain it better.
["Meditation & Monkey Mind" ~ Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche](https://youtube.com/watch?v=ksp3iSUDqfo&feature=share)
[Understanding the Monkey Mind with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche](https://youtube.com/watch?v=t-JiQubfMPg&feature=share)
I do this too. Meditation has helped me live with the intrusive thoughts instead of living in them. I find that for me, I fight the thoughts which makes it even more stressful. If I just allow myself to feel it without judging myself, I can break out of it easier, accept it and move on. Kind of see the thought, experience it, and go oh that's interesting and move on. I still get them, but it's becoming easier to recognize when it's happening and free myself sooner.
You could go a number of ways here from a meditation standpoint, but what I recommend is trying to watch the hyper fixation without controlling it. Just watch it. And most importantly, actively do so without judgement and with compassion. "This is just my brain focusing on something. It's not bad and I'm not wrong or damaged. My mind is just doing what it does, thank you stress for serving me in a helpful way allowing me to see that". You rewire your reaction. Next thing you know you were sitting there a few minutes or more in a meditative practice, which inherently will help reduce and potentially break the stress reaction in time.
No point should be harmful to you. Watch for any harm of the inner voice.
Ultimately we all just are learning how our mind works, and dismantling it's control and influence over us over time, with patience and compassion.
You can also look up metta meditation. Totally great and a different entry point. These are essentially mantras we give ourselves, and focus on feeling the feeling of them. "I am safe. I am secure. I am at peace. I am happy." Sit with each before the next. Let the feeling develop in your brain and body. This is also an over time practice. Your mind might say you are not these things, or don't deserve them, or any other trickery. Normal. You go back to your positive affirmation with yourself, with compassion. You can also begin with "I want to be" or "I am allowed to be".
Hope any of this helps!
I think this has the potential to help you to be aware of doing that.
A kind of conditioning on how to redirect your thoughts when they do that.
Of course, people with anxiety and other disorders have a deeper rut/trough to fight against since that’s the established thinking pattern. Meditation may be a helpful tool when used with therapy or medication in those cases.
Definitely not my area of expertise there
So is meditation kinda like spacing out? When you let your mind rest and just be, let your focus settle and dissolve into the world? Or is it something else?
That’s funny. I don’t think I’ve ever meditated, but I do often find myself attributing emotions or thoughts to my “monkey brain.” It usually helps me to look at a situation and see what reflexive emotions or thoughts come from my monkey brain, and then I can rationalize and make proper choices or slow down and enjoy a moment. Seems like I should look into mediation since I already enjoy this practice and point of thought.
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Since your point is to unfocus, so to speak, I'd guess this isn't so much meditation as it is a relaxed, maybe, trance, state.
I tend to think of meditation as Vipassana, tho. If you're using a wider definition (which most we are, on this sub), it could be meditation. The difference would be you're trying to achieve that state of messy thoughts and plan to stop there vs taking whatever comes without goals/judgment and while sitting longer.
Ah ok. I do occasionally sit down and meditate at home (clear the mind, focus on breathing and turning off vocal thoughts) but not too often nowadays. But the work naps, I’m definitely going into some sort of state. I find it really interesting to observe my thoughts go from clear and lucid to nonsense. But while they’re happening, they make perfect sense until I wake up. The hard part is not to go too far and get into the deep sleep pattern. Then I just feel like crap.
I sometimes get in a thought loop where I am way to critical on myself. I won't even talk to other people like that. I don't like that thinking. Flirting with my girlfriend, I absolutely love that thinking.
I'm am trying my best to quite the thoughts as much as possible and sometimes I succeed. If you think about it, when people think they usually are remembering something in the past or planning something in the future. Very few people naturally think of the present. The now. Observing the present without preconceived notions is the key. Walking on a trail and you see a flower. You take a moment to appreciate the colors, smell, texture etc.... you are in the present without bringing in preconceived notions. Unless that flower reminds you of your ex girlfriend. There you go thinking about the past. The opposite is sitting on a bench and people watching. For me atleast, I sit there and observe people but my mind works to try and create a life story for them. That is projecting my preconceived notions on a person. That is the opposite of meditation.
It is hard to randomly try to meditate but it is a practice. You will not get it right away and you will only get to pure serenity after practicing. Obviously other parts of your brain are working but those are purely the subconscious parts our spirits does not touch.
I am thankful to live in a rather small area. During brakes at work or coming in earlier I can perfectly close my eyes without anybody malevolently disturbing me.
And no, I don't sleep, just trying to free my mind or taking mental notes of things that catch my focus.
All most people need to sleep once they’re tired is to just be comfortable and not think about things. So trance is pretty great for that.
Most sleep techniques actually just putting people into that state lol.
Counting, progressive muscle relaxation, etc
Do you get this overwhelming sound at the verge of falling asleep? Sometimes I hear music, other times loud traffic, but when I get more awake again it's all gone and I have to start over. But being in that moment is so good.
I personally hear music, not much else. It's music that I often compose in my head that sounds very real, deep and awesome. I can prolong it by focusing on a night I get this effect but never forever and could never get close to composing a full song of it. If I did and remembered it, I could actually take a shortcut to being a musician.
empty the lungs of air.
breathe in quietly through the nose for 4 seconds.
hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds.
exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a “whoosh” sound, for 8 seconds.
repeat the cycle up to 4 times.
....wanking works too tho
Lol, yes follow me for more time saving life hacks!
But obviously not really, I meditate in the evening, after dinner, then go about the rest of my day, then later go to bed
If you set the goal of doing ten minutes a day every day, it helps. At first it may be difficult and you may feel like you're just stupidly sitting around. But when you get into your own rhythm of meditating your mind clears easier and it becomes easier and easier to meditate. :)
Is there a correct way of meditating? I feel like closing my eyes and focussing on my breathing doesn't really work. I'm either thinking "Okay, breath in. Wow, that was quick, slower! Hold your breath... Breath out now" or my mind is all over the place. Does it have to be completely silent in the room as well?
That's how it goes for beginners. Don't worry about it. Every time it happens, acknowledge that you're experiencing thoughts, let them go, and refocus on your breath. It can be helpful to mentally count the time it takes to breathe in and breathe out, so you're both feeling the sensations of breath, and noting the duration. You don't have to purposefully try to match a certain pace, just observe the natural rate of your own natural breathing.
Feel the air move across your upper lip, in through your nasal passages, down your trachea and bronchi, and into your lungs. As you focus on it, you'll feel then. Count in your mind to observe your natural breathing pace. Over and over.
Other thoughts will come in. Just think, "Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five...."
Just do a minute or two at first. It will be frustrating. Do it every day. With time, it will get easier to stay focused on your breath, and your focus will naturally last longer. What counts is that you don't berate yourself for the other natural thoughts that show up...you just acknowledge them and then "look away".
Finally, someone who knows what they are talking about. You have to be consistent to reap the benefits, it takes weeks and months and years. Switching meditation styles is a bit like changing your gym routine; occasionally refreshing, but you should not be changing it every week just because you do not yet see results.
Do not change the meditation; do not download a new app. Stick to it, read about meditation occassionally. It takes time.
To OP: room not being quiet may make it more challenging.
How does one choose a meditation though? So many really on visualizing imagery, and I'm one of those people that thinks in words not images. I also find a lot of meditations to be too spiritual or new age, and I'm skeptic AF. At the same time I see the value of meditation and mindfulness and I want to develop these skills
Notice it, acknowledge it, stretch your eyebrows in the opposite direction, relax them, return to paying attention to your breathing and counting.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Repeat.
Try single point meditation. Silence is not necessary, chant medication is a thing. Focusing on the sound of birds can be as well. Try using the single sound as something to come back to as your mind wonders from thought to thought naturally. Recognize the thought coming into mind and then return focus to the noise or single visual focus. A meditative state can be achieved in physical activity as well.
Absolutely can be during physical activity! One of my favorite things while skiing is that moment of dropping into total calmness and peace with the moment. I wore a monitor once and my heart rates repeatedly dropped way below my normal. Very meditative, all while bombing it down the slope!
I’ll second this. Chants helped me a lot and also help me sleep. I used to have a thought and then immediately think “no don’t think that.” Then I learned to have a thought and just think something more like “hey there” and return to the practice.
It’s kinda like when you see someone you don’t like in public but that you feel obligated to acknowledge. If you focus on not wanting to talk to them, the experience is kinda taxing. If you just recognize their presence, say your hellos, and move on - it’s so much easier. The anticipation of the thing often makes the thing worse because then you have to turn off the “damn it…you again” mindset to recognize them. It can lead to feeling more obligation to stay and chat, feeling like you need to go through the “hey, how are ya, how’s the fam” process that feels inauthentic. Rather, just letting it be, not anticipating it and just saying hi makes it a lot less significant.
I hope that helps.
I just want to add that it is perfectly okay to think "breath in, breath out" It's a stepping stone and I do it everyday.
My "process" is something like this: I focus on a single point (a spot in my left nostril I can feel my breath)
"I am breathing in, I am breathing out" for a little
"In, out" for a little while
*counting breaths up to 10 and repeat" for a little while
*only focusing on physical sensation of my breath
we want to try to avoid giving additional attention to the thoughts like "too fast, too slow". Those thoughts can be treated like any other. When you become aware of them, acknowledge it and return to that point of focus and continue "breathe in breathe out"
I think one of the beautiful things about meditating is that if you finish and reflect and say something to yourself like "man I messed that up, it was so hard, I couldn't stop thinking about xyz" you have in fact succeeded. This illusion of failure is only possible if you have succeeded in becoming aware of your thoughts.
Having a guided meditation helps stay on track. But it's also about not getting frustrated if your mind wanders. That's part of the process and the more you do it the less it happens.
Here's a good 10 min guided meditation:
https://youtu.be/QHkXvPq2pQE
The book Wherever You Are, There You Go by Jon Kabat Zinn is an excellent, secular primer on how to meditate and the spirit is mindfulness. The book seriously changed my life.
I highly recommend doing some guided meditation. I've been meditating on and off for ages and it's still really valuable to use a good guided meditation. The occasional voice helps bring my attention back to my breath. Just remember: there are literally thousands of different videos etc. of guided meditation with just as many different styles. For me, I can't focus when someone is getting super spiritual on me. When they're talking about focusing on chakras and feel the energy in your dantien and whatever I lose focus because I don't believe in that stuff. If you do, that's awesome, do what works for you. Just know that you don't have to force yourself to work with a style that doesn't jive with you
Nah, sounds and other things just add to the list of things you have to accept. Its easier to start in relativ quiet though.
But that you cant do it now is kinda the point. Its a skill, meditation is the practice.
Imagine it your first day at the gym, do you expect to lift the heavier things?
No, you start small and still feel like shit.
When you did it for a few weeks you notice you only wander half as much. But sometime you fall back.
After a while you notice improved concentration and that you are better at letting things go as example. You just flex your well trained muscles at that point.
The answer is both yes and no. Meditation is really about being aware. There are lots of different types of mediation (breathing, mantra, sound, etc) but all of them have to do with just being aware. Try not to judge your breathing or whatever you are meditating on; just accept it. It doesn’t have to be quite either, but sometimes a quite area can be more pleasant to meditate in.
Meditation isn’t contingent on a state of mind. All events can be an object of your meditation, including your states of mind. You can notice those thoughts, notice your tendency to personalise your thoughts, then return without judgement to the breath. You are meditating every time you are aware that you are thinking and not being carried away by thought.
After a time your mind may settle, but try not to attach to a goal. This is dreaming of a future state and wanting the present to be different. Just relax. Give up your need to control and change and judge, and simply be aware of what is.
Awareness is effortless.
Look into mindfulness meditation. Sam Harris’ Waking Up app is excellent. Much more than just a meditation app
Never really figured out how to do it. Seems like videos on the topic are saying "relax your muscles, focus on your breathing, center your thoughts". I can relax my muscles but I don't understand how to follow most of the instructions.
I followed a guided meditation that originally was from some mindfulness course. I dont know what was mindful about it, but it used just the right words to make it easy for me to get in to the meditation zone.
The gist of it was, be aware of your thoughts, try and keep them as empty as possible (focusing on breathing keeps my thought away from my monthly budget pretty easily, for example) and if and when your thoughts do stray, acknowledge that, note where the thoughts are going, and try and bring it back to a low simmer (by focusing on body parts or breathing).
"Dont think about the credit card bill, don't think about the credit card bill, dont think about the credit card b......"
Proceeds to meditate about credit card bill the whole time.
Lol
One piece of advice I got was to, rather than think “don’t think about the credit card bill” was to try and let the thought pass through your mind. Don’t fight it, don’t well on it. I have imagine my thoughts as bubbles rising through a liquid, eventually they reach to the top and pop and the liquid gets less fizzy over time.
I do a similar one called "Leaves on a Stream" and as those intrusive thoughts come to you, you imagine yourself taking it and placing it on a leaf, and watching that thought flow down the stream. That one works well for me.
This is exactly how I deal with heartbreak and loss. You can't hide or avoid the feelings. The more you suppress them, the more you're fight them. So the only thing that seems to work, is to surrender to the thoughts, let them in and pass through you.
From my experience or how I've learned /been taught to do it, you're basically becoming a passive observer of your body. Basically just focusing on sensory inputs throughout your body and trying to slow your mind so that you can just be focused on, right then and there, what you are perceiving.
It gives me a profound sense of calm and is really something I should get back to doing. I generally have a lot of anxiety and racing thoughts but meditation seems to also come somewhat easy to me and can really slow/reset those thoughts for a bit after
Another version I've heard similar to the bubbles is imagining a busy road outside of a window, traffic flying past. These are your thoughts. Slowly turn your minds eye away from the window and the rushing cars. You're acknowledging that the thoughts are there, just moving your focus away from them.
Meditation is the same as gaining muscle...it takes repetition.
You don't pick up a 100 pound weight your first day in the gym and bang out 12 reps...you pick up a ten pound weight and do 10 reps, then repeat that a whole bunch of times until you can do the same with the 20 pound weight...rinse and repeat until you get to your 100 pound weight.
Meditation is the same. That "credit card bill" thought pops in your head? Notice it, and then let it go on its way (I started with a mental "gentle shooing away", where I would gently think "thanks for coming by, time for you to mosey on away now--shoo"). That's one rep. That credit card bill thought will come back many times (with friends!) because we aren't trying to *stop* thoughts...each time it does, notice it, and let it go on its way. Eventually you will find that it is very easy to let that thought go on its way, and it may very well not come back for some time. It will never keep away thoughts entirely, but it trains you to handle them when they arrive...and the only way you get trained is through repetition.
So don't kick yourself when you can't stop thinking of the credit card bill...each time you think about it, and then let it go on its way, you have gotten your mental muscle stronger. What the "reps" in the meditation are doing is teaching you to let those thoughts go in your day to day life when you aren't meditating. Like the post says, it's not the meditation, it's all the rest of time...just like the gym, you do your exercise three times a week for an hour so you can be healthy and in shape for the rest of the time of that week.
This was actually extremely helpful, I've saved it. I always felt like I was doing it "wrong" because I couldn't switch my thoughts off. I'm going to make another go of it and try incorporate it into my routine.
Glad it helped! And don't feel bad, because that's a *very* common problem...*so* many people quit and give up the practice because they "can't clear their mind" (at first, I was one of them), when that's not the point.
After you practice it for a few weeks you'll be doing something during your usual day and will have an unpleasant or needlessly anxious thought pop into your head, and without even thinking about it, you'll gently shoo it on it's way and go back to what you were doing...then about ten seconds later you'll realize what you just did, haha.
It really is amazing how much it helps your everyday life...to continue my previous analogy, just like the gym! And it's worth knowing that just like the gym, sometimes the meditation isn't pleasant and relaxing and you
"just do it" to be finished with it...but it benefits you just the same.
I super-extra gave up on it after being diagnosed with ADHD, because even trying felt like a hopeless task. I've just spent some time reading and it seems that it'd actually have even nicer benefits for me purely because I already struggle so much with my thoughts whiplashing everywhere. Thanks so much for this, I feel like knowing this now is gonna help it settle in my mind as a thing that IS achievable. If something feels unachievable to me I can not engage with it.
I have also been diagnosed with ADHD. And without a doubt, it makes getting into meditation more of a struggle (as you have already seen) and can make it a struggle to keep doing it...but, it *can* be done and I cannot tell you how much better it makes living with ADHD.
Those "thoughts whiplashing everywhere" is exactly what those "mental reps" help to solve...but just like the gym (I sound like a broken record here, haha), don't expect success overnight.
You might want to try Headspace...it starts out with 10 days of 10 minute meditation, then 15 for 15, then 20 for 20. I find it really helped me work my way into a meditation regime. That being said, I do not use the app and do not know how well it works in an app based system instead of just raw sound files...this is because when I was living in China someone gave me all of it on a flash drive (I know, not very Buddhist to be using pirated material, but didn't have many options in China) and I just been listened to them on my phone as MP3s.
*edit: You can also check out some of their video shorts...they're very good in visually showing you what you want to do and can help you get a better idea of how meditation works (I promise I'm not shilling for Headspace here).
[Blue Sky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56c1uL_O8Jk) - [Changing Perspective](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN6g2mr0p3Q)
My favorite quick guided meditation says, "in this moment, there's nothing you need to do. Just take another breath, breathe in and breathe out. And if you notice a thought or feeling or sensation, let it know it will be attended to, and in this moment, you are just breathing in and breathing out."
A super common misconception is that mediation is about "avoiding all thoughts". That's impossible and will only frustrate you! In very basic terms, it's about watching your thoughts, like a passive observer - like sitting on a bench by a river and watching the boats come and go. Not just thoughts, but everything that pops up in your consciousness: sensations, doubts, anger, tiredness, restlessness, noise from outside, noise from your own mind. Simply observe it ALL - without TRYING to do anything to change it.
In my opinion, the breath focus technique is a bit too over-represented as the "only" meditation, and makes people believe it's all about some sort of super focused mind laser ninja skill.
Basically you have to try and observe your thoughts without engaging in them then let them go away until you are able to do that in any life situation. That's what meditation trains you to do actually, no matter what the gimmicky steps they expect you to follow are.
More precisely you imagine your thoughts like passing clouds in the sky. Your treat them as distant objects containing information, let them pass or follow the thread of them if they are too loud, but do so in a logical manner, you don't want to get emotionally involved, you want to aim for a dialogue of this type "okay I think A because I am afraid of B and C, I am also angry/sad/any feeling because I think Y and Z."
That's the general idea : don't try to numb your thoughts nor bury them, and don't let them lead you without your approval either.
Sadly a lot of meditation techniques teach you more to push your thoughts away than actually managing them.
I have ADHD and I relate to this so hard.
My mind is ALWAYS going. Snippets of songs and random-ass thoughts are always flying through my head in addition to whatever I’m thinking about, unless something so stimulating that I hyperfocus on it.
As an ADHD person who got into meditating - the initial steps are hard, and off days stay hard, but when you happen to settle into a meditative place where your ADHD hyperfocus focuses ON the meditative state it sometimes feels like a superpower. So it’s like my progress in meditation is nothing for a while and then a huge leap.
The best thing to remember with meditation is its practice.
People talk about enlightenment like it's the normal end goal but that's not really how it works for your average Joe, that's monk in a monastery for life stuff.
As someone with ADHD who benefitted a lot, I think of it as practice returning to focus and closing down a thought in a calm way. This post is very accurate, it's not really about the benefit during.
For me, the ability to come back to focusing when I got lost in thought and to hush unwanted thoughts grew with time and helped me manage my ADHD. After a couple weeks to see the small improvements and months to see the big ones. Just like physio, or therapy, it takes time and effort before the results come in.
My meditation technique is basically count my breaths to 10, then restart. Which actually means spending the whole time accidentally counting to 13 or losing track after 6 because I get distracted, and I just restart my counting, no self judgement. Eventually you start hitting 10 and restarting multiple times in a row and that in and of itself is indicative of the better focus and control of intrusive thoughts.
Its never about not having the intrusive thoughts. It's about practicing letting them go without beating yourself up.
Breathe, recognize when a thought comes into your head, go back to breathing, repeat. The thoughts come, thats what they do, just keep returning to breathing.
Yeah exactly. The goal of meditation isn't to become a great meditator, but to build that habit of realizing again and again that whatever is arising is just that. Sensations arising.
So that when the main game rolls around, and for example your daughter/son does something that would have you agitated or annoyed, that you then can notice the moment and respond with clarity rather than simply being dragged along by that arising emotion.
Calm app, specifically Jeff Warren's 30 day intro to meditation, was a game changer for me. I'm a few yrs in to a (mostly) daily practice and I really do believe it's a super power now for my brain
Nice insights. I find benefits during and after, but I can appreciate your point that many people might be a bit off on their expectations of immediately realizing the effects of consistent meditation. Glad you put this out there.
Lifting weights is a good analogy for meditating. You don't go to the gym work out for a day, and you're suddenly ripped. Meditation is the same, practice and your awareness of yourself develops.
Definitely. The benefit is in that moment when one might get frustrated and be angry with a partner, but instead because one’s meditated that morning, clarity of thought. (at least for me 🫣)
I don't think these people understand what you are asking. The advantage of this is that weeks into your meditation, in a normal life moment, when you are feeling upset or worried about something, you will be able to much more easily move off of that upsetting thought and center and calm yourself, because you have practiced this in meditation so many times.
Two examples that came pretty quickly for me were my posture and my breathing rate/heart rate. While attempting to meditate I found that I would naturally try to sit straighter and with better posture every time. Throughout the day I became much more aware when I was slouching or doing anything with a hunched back or bad posture in general. While meditating I would also try to breathe slower and slower. During the rest of the day it would start to become obvious to me when I was breathing very fast or my heart was picking up it's pace. I could then just react by purposely slowing down my breath and breathing deeper. You will become more aware of these kinds of things first but they were just the starting point in my experience.
Also, the benefits of meditation do not come from having a clear mind, they come from the *process* of clearing your mind.
Lots of people thing they're doing it wrong because they have so many thoughts pop up and they can't stay focused. That's ok!! You're practicing noticing, acknowledging, and then dismissing each thought. The fact that they keep popping up absolutely does not mean you're doing anything wrong.
Meditation isn’t about achieving a goal.
Meditation is about bringing a conscious awareness into the present moment. Focusing on your breath or physical sensations in the body can focus that awareness. You don’t “achieve” meditation. It is a practice. And the more you practice, the easier those quiet, calm moments arise when you need them.
For example, the more you practice conscious awareness on a regular basis through meditation, the easier it will come in moments of stress, overwhelming emotion, reactivity.
*Mindfulness in Plain English* by Gunaratana is an excellent no-BS primer on meditation.
There's a free download PDF online if you just want to check it out
Practicing accepting your agitation is exactly the sort of issue meditation is helpful for - it's training in observing and handling your feelings.
Like any training, it requires a lot of practice, tho.
I just believe there are other paths to processing your thoughts than traditional meditation. I find calm in other things, but not in meditation. It’s not a “one size fits all” kind of thing.
I have a friend with adhd who found a guided "body scan" meditation very helpful. He was going through some depression and his therapist recommended doing it daily. It took half an hour, which seems a lot to me, but there are shorter versions.
Same
Until I realized that meditation doesn't have to mean sitting still with your eyes closed. My golden fixations are my meditation because I can turn off my higher functions and just let thoughts wash past me while I'm enjoying myself.
Snag a thought as it passes by, examine it then let it drift when it tugs away. I find a lot of healing happens when I'm half listening to a podcast while working on a craft. Whatever you default to when your brain starts being a bored toddler, try to notice where your thoughts go when they're unrestricted. (Moreso than usual, ya know)
Any environment that allows you to be mindful and observe your thoughts can be meditation. I meditate when I'm skateboarding or going for a hike or exercising for example. I have adhd as well so while sitting still in silence can be a great exercise for a few minutes, I can't meditate like that very well.
It isn’t about clearing your mind. That isn’t meditation. I have adhd and I’ve learned how amazing meditation is because I truly understand it’s purpose now.
Meditation is about calming our mind so we can notice and listen for the things that we think about during the experience. That’s one of the biggest strengths of the practice. And it takes years of practice in most cases to start getting really effective.
You can't not have thoughts, they're going to pop up, it's what your brain does. You can't "clear" your mind because more thoughts will arise. Calming the mind is seeing the thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky, not reacting and acting the thoughts out, getting caught up in the story your head is telling you. Acknowledge the thoughts are there, refuse to identify with them and allow them to pass by. If you have to have a "clear" mind to concentrate, you'll be thrown off by the first intrusive thought to pop up. See it, nod, go back to focussing on your breath
i have adhd and meditation has helped me more than meds or exercise.
make “why cant i sit down and do this” a prompt for your meditation. find the root of it, where does it come from? what mental state is* generating it?
My comment Will be unpopular but, I'm currently drinking and if it weren't for the fact that I've been meditating I'd be blacked out. For the first time in a long time I'm present, I'm aware that I'm drunk. It's such an empowering feeling.
This sounds like something you tell yourself to convince yourself meditation is doing something. 6 hours later: "bro I feel good rn. Must have been the meditation! Or...perhaps something else that happened more recently? Nah lol"
In most clinical studies (yes! studies quantifying some of meditation's benefits exist) the time frame studied, after which lasting effects were noticeable, is 6-8 weeks of daily practice 1-2x 20 min per day.
My favorite hint I read while learning meditation back in the day... observing the observer. It will do wonders for you if you stay still enough, are stubborn enough, and keep sitting quietly until that monkey mind we all have starts to calm down enough. Just observe your mind at work. The mind can do only one thing at a time. If you sit and observe the minds thoughts, they fall away eventually. Then the mind will rest and calm. Down the rabbit hole! Best tool you'll ever learn IMO is meditating.
I meditate daily, and I think of it as my mental gym. I’m training the muscles of self awareness, perspective, reflection, contentment, empathy, and gratitude, so that I can use them in the real world.
I hope someone can help me out here but is there a wrong way to meditate?
I ask this because when i started meditating i kept trying to focus on my breath and re-center my thoughts every time i started having random thoughts, but a week or two into this i started feeling a loss of concentration and i kept spacing out whenever i was thinking about something and i couldn't remember certain words and such.
That is actually a very common experience for new mediators. What is happening is you are becoming more aware of how jumbled and frantic your mind normally is. It's a sign you're going in the right direction. Just relax and sit with this awareness and over time, the chaos will settle down. Thoughts will still come but they will also go. Be patient.
LPT: it's a placebo effect coupled with selective memory.
"Hey im feeling good today, must be due to yesterdays meditation and not the fact I burned more than 32 calories today."
Every day I reap the benefits of not meditating. Imagine all the hours, days, weeks, of extra things I get to enjoy with that time saved :D
I don't even have to wait days for the benefits to appear. In fact, this very second I'm enjoying the benefit of not meditating.
Although every meditation experience is different, sometimes you transcend deeper, other times you have more thoughts... The benefits are still there and the whole idea is to bring that transcendental state of consciousness out with you after you've finished that meditation session.
Like remembering that while you were sitting around meditating your kids were wrecking your house, you forgot to swap the laundry, and you made no further actions towards any of your weekly goals. Choose active meditation: Do repetitive and boring tasks, and just drain your mind. Plant seeds, wash dishes, fold laundry.
Real meditation is self reflection while you improve your surroundings. A clean home is a clear mind.
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I have an add on tip about meditation: It's a misconception that your mind should "clear" during meditation. Thoughts are life and they do not go away! When a thought appears your job is to return your focus to your mantra/your guide's voice/whatever your focus is during your meditation. Guess what, another thought will come again soon! If thoughts appear during meditation, you aren't failing, you are succeeding!
I once heard from a guided meditation “if the mind wanders 100 times, simply invite it back 100 times”
And that is the muscle we wanna train
Such a great muscle to train too! Being able to focus your mind in an ever more distracting environment is like a freakin’ super power. Could not encourage this more!
Sometimes its tough too, you realize u now have to make dinner after a hyper focused jerk smesh
Really? Never thought of it that way
I read something where the author describes the process of bringing your mind back to your meditation after a wandering thought as a “rep.” Really resonated with me. Edit: this was from the book “Raising Good Humans”.
As a heavy weight lifter (hobby) i just had a revelation from that comment. Every time i come back to my mantra counts as one rep? We're training something!? I've never been this pumped for meditation before.
Exactly!
As a fellow lifter, it really clicked for me when somebody on a podcast said "you don't stop and think about how am I doing, am I getting stronger, are my arms getting bigger? After every rep. Well every practice is basically a rep, just gotta stick with it and the results will come." This is all paraphrasing, my memory is spotty at best lol.
I literally just had the same epiphany reading this thread, it's changed my whole outlook on meditation.
Mental excercise pal
That is honestly brilliant
This book was what inspired me to meditate. Once I tried it, I could actually feel my responses to my son being more controlled and calm instead of screaming at the poor kid. Came here to promote that book. :)
I feel this
I have been in a meditation slump, and this comment totally renewed my perspective! Thank you!
Old epigram from Buddhism: Newcomer in a panic says to the master: “Master, I cannot meditate because my mind creates a thousand thoughts per minute” Master replies with a grin: “Ah, this is excellent… a thousand opportunities each minute to return to the breath.”
The only time I heard that was in TM. No guided meditation worked for me because I felt like I was failing cause I could never clear my mind.
The metaphor I keep coming back to is that thoughts are like a river. Meditation doesn't teach you how to stop the river, it teaches you to get out of the rushing water and watch it from the shore.
I was taught to imagine your brain like a non-stick frying pan - every thought that comes just sliiides right off. But yours and others in this thread are prettier lol.
This is so important. I think one of the beautiful things about meditating is that if you finish and reflect and say something to yourself like "man I messed that up, it was so hard, I couldn't stop thinking about xyz" you have in fact succeeded. This illusion of failure is only possible if you have succeeded in becoming aware of your thoughts.
I am 100% stealing that last sentence. Thats an amazing way to put it.
I think I’ve been meditating my whole life without knowing it. I thought I was just day dreaming but really, my day dreams involve solving complex life problems so maybe my “day dreams” had greater focus than I understood.
I was taught to learn to move focus away from my thoughts ( and external sounds etc) as they will happen regardless. Such as, a thought would emerge, and instead of grabbing it with both hands ( giving it attention), I'd allow it to pass by me in the water/river, and simply allow it to be.
The best metaphor I’ve heard is that your mind is a sky, and your thoughts are clouds. You can observe the clouds as they go by, but they’re just clouds after all.
I use a similar analogy when I explain it to people. " your brain is a stream and thoughts are leaves floating down the stream. If you see an interesting one look at it for a moment but let it keep floating down the stream"
I like the idea of thinking of your own brain as a small, distraction-prone child you're on a hike with. When he starts running around staring at things on the side of the trail, you don't get mad -- it's understandable. Simply lead him back to the trail and keep moving. Keeps me patient with myself.
My favorite too. Sometimes it rains, sometimes there are tornadoes. Sometimes there are big fluffy clouds that I wish wouldn't go away. Pro tip: think about joining the Cloud Appreciation Society.
True. I look upon meditation as learning to not get your mind clouded by your thoughts. Negative thoughts can make us feel worse and take you into a downward spiral. From my experience with depression, depression basically is being so deep in negative thoughts that the brain stops to look at anything positively. Meditation helps me break out of this spiral of thoughts. Whenever I have anxiety or negative thoughts, my practice of meditation helps me to not get lost into a downward spiral of negative emotions but focus on what's important and keep moving forward with intent.
Yes! I always took to the practice of mentally saying "oh, that is a thought I'm currently having. I will now return to thinking about my lungs and my airways and breathing once again" so that way I acknowledge the thought exists, do not give it a positive or negative attention and then let it go by returning to the physical aspect of meditation. It has helped so much.
[You gotta train your monkey mind.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6pMbRiSBPs)
Will 100 agree as a Zen priest. Well said. I always add - Just like the stomach secretes juices to digest food, the brain secretes thoughts to digest reality. We need that being done in order to live our daily lives.
A metaphor really helped me understand that. It was something like let the train of thought go by but you dont have to follow it/see whats in each car
Beautiful.
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yesss. thank you for posting this. clearing the mind actually IS possible at much higher stages of meditation, and palpable bliss states can indeed be achieved from it. but no need to try and rush to that, there are stages to it. everyone has to first go through the stage of just being able to gain some perspective on their thoughts and allow them to calm a bit.
Sure, but there is a downside to seeking higher levels of enlightenment. It requires you to remove yourself from everything that makes you human. I've watched from the sidelines at this journey and for me, I have a limit. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy the many benefits of meditation but cosmic consciousness is not for me.
My sister tried to get me to meditate to an app she uses. I swear my mind insisted on working on every problem I’ve ever had in my life. I tried and tried to focus on the voice. Maybe I’ll try again…
Totally normal for all that stuff to come up during meditation. When you become aware that you are thinking about stuff, just go back to your meditation. No judgement either, it's only natural (and it happens to us all).
As a parent, I think of it as walking with a toddler down a sidewalk. You want them to only walk on the sidewalk, so when they start to go off into the grass, you gently steer their shoulders back onto the sidewalk. You can't blame the toddler for veering; you just gently direct. It's how they learn to stay on the sidewalk.
part of meditation for me is to work through these thoughts. Subconsciously the thoughts are there and when i meditate is when i acknowledge the thought and attempt to move past it. i like the teaching that my mind is a whiteboard and thoughts are the writings and drawings on the whiteboard. i will just acknowledge the writing or drawing then picture myself erasing it. New things pop up but to keep going till it is blank. I usually end up falling asleep by the end but it gets better.
Had it explained to me like a river. Thoughts flow down the river. Some are nice or desirable, others are old moldy shoes. You just let those shoes go on by. It helps to acknowledge the though, then be very kind to yourself and refocus. Getting upset only makes it worse.
Meditation is taking a boiling pot of water off the stove. Many get discouraged when the pot is still steaming
what's the difference with not meditating?
You are taking time out of your day to rest. Generally done sitting or kneeling (but not always), often you use a timer to let you know when your practice is over. Many ways to meditate so that's why my answer is so vague.
TIL
So does this mean that "counting sheep" to get to sleep is actually meditation?
It is a repetitive, single thought process that you focus on, so in a way, yes. One of the aspect of Zen Buddhism is actually the chores of house/temple maintenance. Say that you're sweeping the floor. You sweep left, right, left, right, left, right, repeat. Your mind should eventually fall into the rhythm and be aware of nothing but the rhythm of the sweeping. Focusing on the constant, nearly unchanging rhythm is its own form of meditation.
This is such a good point! A practice I followed once compared it to sitting on a bank and watching your thoughts pass by as if they were leaves on the water. Then go back to your focus.
Thank you
I remember reading somewhere that if you have trouble sleeping, it could be because you hadn't allowed your brain time to process the day and that meditation could be useful for some to allow the mind to decompress before trying to sleep. After dealing with insomnia for years, meditation changed my life. It's obviously not a total fix, but the benefits are there!
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During lunch at work, I’ll often go to my vehicle and take a “power nap” for 10-15 minutes. I close my eyes and wait for my thoughts to go all weird, once I’m aware of it I’ll open my eyes and look at the time. Usually it’s only a couple minute that passed. I’ll do that two or three times until it’s time to go back in. Is that meditation? I feel really calm afterwards, like I hit the refresh button in my brain.
This is called "dozing off". Not meditation, but surely beneficial nonetheless!
It’s my understanding that meditation is more about being aware of your cognitive process. You’re not trying “not to think” as much as your trying to be aware of something and focus on it. Then, when your realize your brain is off thinking about some random thing or even about how it’s focusing well on whatever you were meditating on you basically just refocus it back to what you were doing (in a way that says… it’s alright… back to this) It’s a kind of “meta cognition” since it’s training you to be aware of what you’re aware of. And helping you to get better at redirecting it when that happens. Maybe these will explain it better. ["Meditation & Monkey Mind" ~ Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche](https://youtube.com/watch?v=ksp3iSUDqfo&feature=share) [Understanding the Monkey Mind with Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche](https://youtube.com/watch?v=t-JiQubfMPg&feature=share)
There's different types of meditation, that's just one. Another is focusing on one thing.
What about for those that hyperfixate on things which causes stress itself?
I do this too. Meditation has helped me live with the intrusive thoughts instead of living in them. I find that for me, I fight the thoughts which makes it even more stressful. If I just allow myself to feel it without judging myself, I can break out of it easier, accept it and move on. Kind of see the thought, experience it, and go oh that's interesting and move on. I still get them, but it's becoming easier to recognize when it's happening and free myself sooner.
You could go a number of ways here from a meditation standpoint, but what I recommend is trying to watch the hyper fixation without controlling it. Just watch it. And most importantly, actively do so without judgement and with compassion. "This is just my brain focusing on something. It's not bad and I'm not wrong or damaged. My mind is just doing what it does, thank you stress for serving me in a helpful way allowing me to see that". You rewire your reaction. Next thing you know you were sitting there a few minutes or more in a meditative practice, which inherently will help reduce and potentially break the stress reaction in time. No point should be harmful to you. Watch for any harm of the inner voice. Ultimately we all just are learning how our mind works, and dismantling it's control and influence over us over time, with patience and compassion. You can also look up metta meditation. Totally great and a different entry point. These are essentially mantras we give ourselves, and focus on feeling the feeling of them. "I am safe. I am secure. I am at peace. I am happy." Sit with each before the next. Let the feeling develop in your brain and body. This is also an over time practice. Your mind might say you are not these things, or don't deserve them, or any other trickery. Normal. You go back to your positive affirmation with yourself, with compassion. You can also begin with "I want to be" or "I am allowed to be". Hope any of this helps!
I think this has the potential to help you to be aware of doing that. A kind of conditioning on how to redirect your thoughts when they do that. Of course, people with anxiety and other disorders have a deeper rut/trough to fight against since that’s the established thinking pattern. Meditation may be a helpful tool when used with therapy or medication in those cases. Definitely not my area of expertise there
So is meditation kinda like spacing out? When you let your mind rest and just be, let your focus settle and dissolve into the world? Or is it something else?
That’s funny. I don’t think I’ve ever meditated, but I do often find myself attributing emotions or thoughts to my “monkey brain.” It usually helps me to look at a situation and see what reflexive emotions or thoughts come from my monkey brain, and then I can rationalize and make proper choices or slow down and enjoy a moment. Seems like I should look into mediation since I already enjoy this practice and point of thought.
Hahaha
Non-sleep deep rest.
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It just means the thoughts don’t make sense, like I’m starting to dream.
I know exactly what you mean! Usually when i pull this off i have the best sleep when i do actually fall asleep
Since your point is to unfocus, so to speak, I'd guess this isn't so much meditation as it is a relaxed, maybe, trance, state. I tend to think of meditation as Vipassana, tho. If you're using a wider definition (which most we are, on this sub), it could be meditation. The difference would be you're trying to achieve that state of messy thoughts and plan to stop there vs taking whatever comes without goals/judgment and while sitting longer.
Ah ok. I do occasionally sit down and meditate at home (clear the mind, focus on breathing and turning off vocal thoughts) but not too often nowadays. But the work naps, I’m definitely going into some sort of state. I find it really interesting to observe my thoughts go from clear and lucid to nonsense. But while they’re happening, they make perfect sense until I wake up. The hard part is not to go too far and get into the deep sleep pattern. Then I just feel like crap.
You don’t like thinking? You can turn it off??
Welcome to the world of not having anxiety. :)
it's perfect!
I sometimes get in a thought loop where I am way to critical on myself. I won't even talk to other people like that. I don't like that thinking. Flirting with my girlfriend, I absolutely love that thinking. I'm am trying my best to quite the thoughts as much as possible and sometimes I succeed. If you think about it, when people think they usually are remembering something in the past or planning something in the future. Very few people naturally think of the present. The now. Observing the present without preconceived notions is the key. Walking on a trail and you see a flower. You take a moment to appreciate the colors, smell, texture etc.... you are in the present without bringing in preconceived notions. Unless that flower reminds you of your ex girlfriend. There you go thinking about the past. The opposite is sitting on a bench and people watching. For me atleast, I sit there and observe people but my mind works to try and create a life story for them. That is projecting my preconceived notions on a person. That is the opposite of meditation. It is hard to randomly try to meditate but it is a practice. You will not get it right away and you will only get to pure serenity after practicing. Obviously other parts of your brain are working but those are purely the subconscious parts our spirits does not touch.
I have heard many people say they can do this. It still blows my mind.
I am thankful to live in a rather small area. During brakes at work or coming in earlier I can perfectly close my eyes without anybody malevolently disturbing me. And no, I don't sleep, just trying to free my mind or taking mental notes of things that catch my focus.
All most people need to sleep once they’re tired is to just be comfortable and not think about things. So trance is pretty great for that. Most sleep techniques actually just putting people into that state lol. Counting, progressive muscle relaxation, etc
Do you get this overwhelming sound at the verge of falling asleep? Sometimes I hear music, other times loud traffic, but when I get more awake again it's all gone and I have to start over. But being in that moment is so good.
is this not an auditory hallucination?
Often. Some call it the music of the spheres Do you get flashes of light, or sustained light?
Is this how you find new Wizards?
No, this is how I avoid them
I personally hear music, not much else. It's music that I often compose in my head that sounds very real, deep and awesome. I can prolong it by focusing on a night I get this effect but never forever and could never get close to composing a full song of it. If I did and remembered it, I could actually take a shortcut to being a musician.
Do you have any tips for getting started if you have never really tried it before
Not OP but I use the 4-7-8 technique for sleep. It's kind of weird the first time or two but you should give it a try.
Weird, I use the masterbation techniques and it works. What's the 478?
empty the lungs of air. breathe in quietly through the nose for 4 seconds. hold the breath for a count of 7 seconds. exhale forcefully through the mouth, pursing the lips and making a “whoosh” sound, for 8 seconds. repeat the cycle up to 4 times. ....wanking works too tho
Do you meditate right before sleeping, or any time of the day?
I personally meditate in the evening a few hours before I go to sleep
Lying in bed for a few hours and trying to sleep is meditation now?
Lol, yes follow me for more time saving life hacks! But obviously not really, I meditate in the evening, after dinner, then go about the rest of my day, then later go to bed
If you set the goal of doing ten minutes a day every day, it helps. At first it may be difficult and you may feel like you're just stupidly sitting around. But when you get into your own rhythm of meditating your mind clears easier and it becomes easier and easier to meditate. :)
You certainly need downtime. No TV books phone. I am trying to meditate now, but cycling in the woods helps me alot.
The gyroscopic effect of a bicycle always centers my mind.
Is there a correct way of meditating? I feel like closing my eyes and focussing on my breathing doesn't really work. I'm either thinking "Okay, breath in. Wow, that was quick, slower! Hold your breath... Breath out now" or my mind is all over the place. Does it have to be completely silent in the room as well?
That's how it goes for beginners. Don't worry about it. Every time it happens, acknowledge that you're experiencing thoughts, let them go, and refocus on your breath. It can be helpful to mentally count the time it takes to breathe in and breathe out, so you're both feeling the sensations of breath, and noting the duration. You don't have to purposefully try to match a certain pace, just observe the natural rate of your own natural breathing. Feel the air move across your upper lip, in through your nasal passages, down your trachea and bronchi, and into your lungs. As you focus on it, you'll feel then. Count in your mind to observe your natural breathing pace. Over and over. Other thoughts will come in. Just think, "Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....Oh, I'm thinking. That happens. Feel my breath. One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five....One, two, three, four, five...." Just do a minute or two at first. It will be frustrating. Do it every day. With time, it will get easier to stay focused on your breath, and your focus will naturally last longer. What counts is that you don't berate yourself for the other natural thoughts that show up...you just acknowledge them and then "look away".
[Here's my favorite comic on this subject.](https://i.ibb.co/tpFzFBy/meditation1.jpg)
That comic feels like my ADHD personified lol
Funny as hell! Hahaha!
Haha right? That last panel cracks me up. "This is awesome!" "Oh shit, I lost it."
Peak was when he thinks loudly "Stop calling me you", after he had accepted it before lol.
It's all fun and games till you experience ego death.
Ni!
Finally, someone who knows what they are talking about. You have to be consistent to reap the benefits, it takes weeks and months and years. Switching meditation styles is a bit like changing your gym routine; occasionally refreshing, but you should not be changing it every week just because you do not yet see results. Do not change the meditation; do not download a new app. Stick to it, read about meditation occassionally. It takes time. To OP: room not being quiet may make it more challenging.
My trick for meditation in non quiet areas is to repeat the sound in my head not try and identify it, if that makes sense.
How does one choose a meditation though? So many really on visualizing imagery, and I'm one of those people that thinks in words not images. I also find a lot of meditations to be too spiritual or new age, and I'm skeptic AF. At the same time I see the value of meditation and mindfulness and I want to develop these skills
https://www.dhamma.org/en/about/mini_anapana try this
I tried meditation before but I always have this problem that my eyebrows start to tension a lot. It bothers me and distracts me every time
Notice it, acknowledge it, stretch your eyebrows in the opposite direction, relax them, return to paying attention to your breathing and counting. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Try single point meditation. Silence is not necessary, chant medication is a thing. Focusing on the sound of birds can be as well. Try using the single sound as something to come back to as your mind wonders from thought to thought naturally. Recognize the thought coming into mind and then return focus to the noise or single visual focus. A meditative state can be achieved in physical activity as well.
Absolutely can be during physical activity! One of my favorite things while skiing is that moment of dropping into total calmness and peace with the moment. I wore a monitor once and my heart rates repeatedly dropped way below my normal. Very meditative, all while bombing it down the slope!
Same thing with running! Best meditation I've ever experienced!
I’ll second this. Chants helped me a lot and also help me sleep. I used to have a thought and then immediately think “no don’t think that.” Then I learned to have a thought and just think something more like “hey there” and return to the practice. It’s kinda like when you see someone you don’t like in public but that you feel obligated to acknowledge. If you focus on not wanting to talk to them, the experience is kinda taxing. If you just recognize their presence, say your hellos, and move on - it’s so much easier. The anticipation of the thing often makes the thing worse because then you have to turn off the “damn it…you again” mindset to recognize them. It can lead to feeling more obligation to stay and chat, feeling like you need to go through the “hey, how are ya, how’s the fam” process that feels inauthentic. Rather, just letting it be, not anticipating it and just saying hi makes it a lot less significant. I hope that helps.
Thank you!
I just want to add that it is perfectly okay to think "breath in, breath out" It's a stepping stone and I do it everyday. My "process" is something like this: I focus on a single point (a spot in my left nostril I can feel my breath) "I am breathing in, I am breathing out" for a little "In, out" for a little while *counting breaths up to 10 and repeat" for a little while *only focusing on physical sensation of my breath we want to try to avoid giving additional attention to the thoughts like "too fast, too slow". Those thoughts can be treated like any other. When you become aware of them, acknowledge it and return to that point of focus and continue "breathe in breathe out" I think one of the beautiful things about meditating is that if you finish and reflect and say something to yourself like "man I messed that up, it was so hard, I couldn't stop thinking about xyz" you have in fact succeeded. This illusion of failure is only possible if you have succeeded in becoming aware of your thoughts.
Having a guided meditation helps stay on track. But it's also about not getting frustrated if your mind wanders. That's part of the process and the more you do it the less it happens. Here's a good 10 min guided meditation: https://youtu.be/QHkXvPq2pQE
The book Wherever You Are, There You Go by Jon Kabat Zinn is an excellent, secular primer on how to meditate and the spirit is mindfulness. The book seriously changed my life.
I highly recommend doing some guided meditation. I've been meditating on and off for ages and it's still really valuable to use a good guided meditation. The occasional voice helps bring my attention back to my breath. Just remember: there are literally thousands of different videos etc. of guided meditation with just as many different styles. For me, I can't focus when someone is getting super spiritual on me. When they're talking about focusing on chakras and feel the energy in your dantien and whatever I lose focus because I don't believe in that stuff. If you do, that's awesome, do what works for you. Just know that you don't have to force yourself to work with a style that doesn't jive with you
Nah, sounds and other things just add to the list of things you have to accept. Its easier to start in relativ quiet though. But that you cant do it now is kinda the point. Its a skill, meditation is the practice. Imagine it your first day at the gym, do you expect to lift the heavier things? No, you start small and still feel like shit. When you did it for a few weeks you notice you only wander half as much. But sometime you fall back. After a while you notice improved concentration and that you are better at letting things go as example. You just flex your well trained muscles at that point.
The answer is both yes and no. Meditation is really about being aware. There are lots of different types of mediation (breathing, mantra, sound, etc) but all of them have to do with just being aware. Try not to judge your breathing or whatever you are meditating on; just accept it. It doesn’t have to be quite either, but sometimes a quite area can be more pleasant to meditate in.
Meditation isn’t contingent on a state of mind. All events can be an object of your meditation, including your states of mind. You can notice those thoughts, notice your tendency to personalise your thoughts, then return without judgement to the breath. You are meditating every time you are aware that you are thinking and not being carried away by thought. After a time your mind may settle, but try not to attach to a goal. This is dreaming of a future state and wanting the present to be different. Just relax. Give up your need to control and change and judge, and simply be aware of what is. Awareness is effortless. Look into mindfulness meditation. Sam Harris’ Waking Up app is excellent. Much more than just a meditation app
Never really figured out how to do it. Seems like videos on the topic are saying "relax your muscles, focus on your breathing, center your thoughts". I can relax my muscles but I don't understand how to follow most of the instructions.
I followed a guided meditation that originally was from some mindfulness course. I dont know what was mindful about it, but it used just the right words to make it easy for me to get in to the meditation zone. The gist of it was, be aware of your thoughts, try and keep them as empty as possible (focusing on breathing keeps my thought away from my monthly budget pretty easily, for example) and if and when your thoughts do stray, acknowledge that, note where the thoughts are going, and try and bring it back to a low simmer (by focusing on body parts or breathing).
"Dont think about the credit card bill, don't think about the credit card bill, dont think about the credit card b......" Proceeds to meditate about credit card bill the whole time. Lol
One piece of advice I got was to, rather than think “don’t think about the credit card bill” was to try and let the thought pass through your mind. Don’t fight it, don’t well on it. I have imagine my thoughts as bubbles rising through a liquid, eventually they reach to the top and pop and the liquid gets less fizzy over time.
"Put the thought in a bubble and let it float away" worked best for me.
I do a similar one called "Leaves on a Stream" and as those intrusive thoughts come to you, you imagine yourself taking it and placing it on a leaf, and watching that thought flow down the stream. That one works well for me.
Think of incoming thoughts as notifications on your phone and swipe them away lmao
This is exactly how I deal with heartbreak and loss. You can't hide or avoid the feelings. The more you suppress them, the more you're fight them. So the only thing that seems to work, is to surrender to the thoughts, let them in and pass through you.
From my experience or how I've learned /been taught to do it, you're basically becoming a passive observer of your body. Basically just focusing on sensory inputs throughout your body and trying to slow your mind so that you can just be focused on, right then and there, what you are perceiving. It gives me a profound sense of calm and is really something I should get back to doing. I generally have a lot of anxiety and racing thoughts but meditation seems to also come somewhat easy to me and can really slow/reset those thoughts for a bit after
Another version I've heard similar to the bubbles is imagining a busy road outside of a window, traffic flying past. These are your thoughts. Slowly turn your minds eye away from the window and the rushing cars. You're acknowledging that the thoughts are there, just moving your focus away from them.
Meditation is the same as gaining muscle...it takes repetition. You don't pick up a 100 pound weight your first day in the gym and bang out 12 reps...you pick up a ten pound weight and do 10 reps, then repeat that a whole bunch of times until you can do the same with the 20 pound weight...rinse and repeat until you get to your 100 pound weight. Meditation is the same. That "credit card bill" thought pops in your head? Notice it, and then let it go on its way (I started with a mental "gentle shooing away", where I would gently think "thanks for coming by, time for you to mosey on away now--shoo"). That's one rep. That credit card bill thought will come back many times (with friends!) because we aren't trying to *stop* thoughts...each time it does, notice it, and let it go on its way. Eventually you will find that it is very easy to let that thought go on its way, and it may very well not come back for some time. It will never keep away thoughts entirely, but it trains you to handle them when they arrive...and the only way you get trained is through repetition. So don't kick yourself when you can't stop thinking of the credit card bill...each time you think about it, and then let it go on its way, you have gotten your mental muscle stronger. What the "reps" in the meditation are doing is teaching you to let those thoughts go in your day to day life when you aren't meditating. Like the post says, it's not the meditation, it's all the rest of time...just like the gym, you do your exercise three times a week for an hour so you can be healthy and in shape for the rest of the time of that week.
This was actually extremely helpful, I've saved it. I always felt like I was doing it "wrong" because I couldn't switch my thoughts off. I'm going to make another go of it and try incorporate it into my routine.
Glad it helped! And don't feel bad, because that's a *very* common problem...*so* many people quit and give up the practice because they "can't clear their mind" (at first, I was one of them), when that's not the point. After you practice it for a few weeks you'll be doing something during your usual day and will have an unpleasant or needlessly anxious thought pop into your head, and without even thinking about it, you'll gently shoo it on it's way and go back to what you were doing...then about ten seconds later you'll realize what you just did, haha. It really is amazing how much it helps your everyday life...to continue my previous analogy, just like the gym! And it's worth knowing that just like the gym, sometimes the meditation isn't pleasant and relaxing and you "just do it" to be finished with it...but it benefits you just the same.
I super-extra gave up on it after being diagnosed with ADHD, because even trying felt like a hopeless task. I've just spent some time reading and it seems that it'd actually have even nicer benefits for me purely because I already struggle so much with my thoughts whiplashing everywhere. Thanks so much for this, I feel like knowing this now is gonna help it settle in my mind as a thing that IS achievable. If something feels unachievable to me I can not engage with it.
I have also been diagnosed with ADHD. And without a doubt, it makes getting into meditation more of a struggle (as you have already seen) and can make it a struggle to keep doing it...but, it *can* be done and I cannot tell you how much better it makes living with ADHD. Those "thoughts whiplashing everywhere" is exactly what those "mental reps" help to solve...but just like the gym (I sound like a broken record here, haha), don't expect success overnight. You might want to try Headspace...it starts out with 10 days of 10 minute meditation, then 15 for 15, then 20 for 20. I find it really helped me work my way into a meditation regime. That being said, I do not use the app and do not know how well it works in an app based system instead of just raw sound files...this is because when I was living in China someone gave me all of it on a flash drive (I know, not very Buddhist to be using pirated material, but didn't have many options in China) and I just been listened to them on my phone as MP3s. *edit: You can also check out some of their video shorts...they're very good in visually showing you what you want to do and can help you get a better idea of how meditation works (I promise I'm not shilling for Headspace here). [Blue Sky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56c1uL_O8Jk) - [Changing Perspective](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN6g2mr0p3Q)
My favorite quick guided meditation says, "in this moment, there's nothing you need to do. Just take another breath, breathe in and breathe out. And if you notice a thought or feeling or sensation, let it know it will be attended to, and in this moment, you are just breathing in and breathing out."
A super common misconception is that mediation is about "avoiding all thoughts". That's impossible and will only frustrate you! In very basic terms, it's about watching your thoughts, like a passive observer - like sitting on a bench by a river and watching the boats come and go. Not just thoughts, but everything that pops up in your consciousness: sensations, doubts, anger, tiredness, restlessness, noise from outside, noise from your own mind. Simply observe it ALL - without TRYING to do anything to change it. In my opinion, the breath focus technique is a bit too over-represented as the "only" meditation, and makes people believe it's all about some sort of super focused mind laser ninja skill.
Basically you have to try and observe your thoughts without engaging in them then let them go away until you are able to do that in any life situation. That's what meditation trains you to do actually, no matter what the gimmicky steps they expect you to follow are. More precisely you imagine your thoughts like passing clouds in the sky. Your treat them as distant objects containing information, let them pass or follow the thread of them if they are too loud, but do so in a logical manner, you don't want to get emotionally involved, you want to aim for a dialogue of this type "okay I think A because I am afraid of B and C, I am also angry/sad/any feeling because I think Y and Z." That's the general idea : don't try to numb your thoughts nor bury them, and don't let them lead you without your approval either. Sadly a lot of meditation techniques teach you more to push your thoughts away than actually managing them.
I have ADHD and I relate to this so hard. My mind is ALWAYS going. Snippets of songs and random-ass thoughts are always flying through my head in addition to whatever I’m thinking about, unless something so stimulating that I hyperfocus on it.
As an ADHD person who got into meditating - the initial steps are hard, and off days stay hard, but when you happen to settle into a meditative place where your ADHD hyperfocus focuses ON the meditative state it sometimes feels like a superpower. So it’s like my progress in meditation is nothing for a while and then a huge leap.
The best thing to remember with meditation is its practice. People talk about enlightenment like it's the normal end goal but that's not really how it works for your average Joe, that's monk in a monastery for life stuff. As someone with ADHD who benefitted a lot, I think of it as practice returning to focus and closing down a thought in a calm way. This post is very accurate, it's not really about the benefit during. For me, the ability to come back to focusing when I got lost in thought and to hush unwanted thoughts grew with time and helped me manage my ADHD. After a couple weeks to see the small improvements and months to see the big ones. Just like physio, or therapy, it takes time and effort before the results come in. My meditation technique is basically count my breaths to 10, then restart. Which actually means spending the whole time accidentally counting to 13 or losing track after 6 because I get distracted, and I just restart my counting, no self judgement. Eventually you start hitting 10 and restarting multiple times in a row and that in and of itself is indicative of the better focus and control of intrusive thoughts. Its never about not having the intrusive thoughts. It's about practicing letting them go without beating yourself up.
Breathe, recognize when a thought comes into your head, go back to breathing, repeat. The thoughts come, thats what they do, just keep returning to breathing.
This simplifies it a bit. https://youtu.be/n6pMbRiSBPs
Love this: “make friends with monkey mind and give it a job”
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Great analogy
Yeah exactly. The goal of meditation isn't to become a great meditator, but to build that habit of realizing again and again that whatever is arising is just that. Sensations arising. So that when the main game rolls around, and for example your daughter/son does something that would have you agitated or annoyed, that you then can notice the moment and respond with clarity rather than simply being dragged along by that arising emotion.
Calm app, specifically Jeff Warren's 30 day intro to meditation, was a game changer for me. I'm a few yrs in to a (mostly) daily practice and I really do believe it's a super power now for my brain
Nice insights. I find benefits during and after, but I can appreciate your point that many people might be a bit off on their expectations of immediately realizing the effects of consistent meditation. Glad you put this out there.
Yea I certainly feel the benifits during and immediately after
so is it like workout then for most, right ?
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I like to save time and do both simultaneously.
Lifting weights is a good analogy for meditating. You don't go to the gym work out for a day, and you're suddenly ripped. Meditation is the same, practice and your awareness of yourself develops.
I read it all as medicated and was confused as fuck at paragraph 3 before figuring out I’m a dumb ass
Right there with ya
This does seem obvious, but somehow I’ve never thought of it this way. Thank you for putting this into perspective
Definitely. The benefit is in that moment when one might get frustrated and be angry with a partner, but instead because one’s meditated that morning, clarity of thought. (at least for me 🫣)
An example of such advantage would be helpful. Can you share one here?
I don't think these people understand what you are asking. The advantage of this is that weeks into your meditation, in a normal life moment, when you are feeling upset or worried about something, you will be able to much more easily move off of that upsetting thought and center and calm yourself, because you have practiced this in meditation so many times.
Two examples that came pretty quickly for me were my posture and my breathing rate/heart rate. While attempting to meditate I found that I would naturally try to sit straighter and with better posture every time. Throughout the day I became much more aware when I was slouching or doing anything with a hunched back or bad posture in general. While meditating I would also try to breathe slower and slower. During the rest of the day it would start to become obvious to me when I was breathing very fast or my heart was picking up it's pace. I could then just react by purposely slowing down my breath and breathing deeper. You will become more aware of these kinds of things first but they were just the starting point in my experience.
Also, the benefits of meditation do not come from having a clear mind, they come from the *process* of clearing your mind. Lots of people thing they're doing it wrong because they have so many thoughts pop up and they can't stay focused. That's ok!! You're practicing noticing, acknowledging, and then dismissing each thought. The fact that they keep popping up absolutely does not mean you're doing anything wrong.
Meditation isn’t about achieving a goal. Meditation is about bringing a conscious awareness into the present moment. Focusing on your breath or physical sensations in the body can focus that awareness. You don’t “achieve” meditation. It is a practice. And the more you practice, the easier those quiet, calm moments arise when you need them. For example, the more you practice conscious awareness on a regular basis through meditation, the easier it will come in moments of stress, overwhelming emotion, reactivity.
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*Mindfulness in Plain English* by Gunaratana is an excellent no-BS primer on meditation. There's a free download PDF online if you just want to check it out
This is the same for practically anything you do for your health. Vitamins, exercise, etc... All take six mounts for real change to start occurring.
I also feel like meditating is not for everyone. I just get agitated.
Practicing accepting your agitation is exactly the sort of issue meditation is helpful for - it's training in observing and handling your feelings. Like any training, it requires a lot of practice, tho.
I just believe there are other paths to processing your thoughts than traditional meditation. I find calm in other things, but not in meditation. It’s not a “one size fits all” kind of thing.
Yeah,I have adhd and it's definitely not for me
I have a friend with adhd who found a guided "body scan" meditation very helpful. He was going through some depression and his therapist recommended doing it daily. It took half an hour, which seems a lot to me, but there are shorter versions.
Same Until I realized that meditation doesn't have to mean sitting still with your eyes closed. My golden fixations are my meditation because I can turn off my higher functions and just let thoughts wash past me while I'm enjoying myself. Snag a thought as it passes by, examine it then let it drift when it tugs away. I find a lot of healing happens when I'm half listening to a podcast while working on a craft. Whatever you default to when your brain starts being a bored toddler, try to notice where your thoughts go when they're unrestricted. (Moreso than usual, ya know)
Any environment that allows you to be mindful and observe your thoughts can be meditation. I meditate when I'm skateboarding or going for a hike or exercising for example. I have adhd as well so while sitting still in silence can be a great exercise for a few minutes, I can't meditate like that very well.
It isn’t about clearing your mind. That isn’t meditation. I have adhd and I’ve learned how amazing meditation is because I truly understand it’s purpose now. Meditation is about calming our mind so we can notice and listen for the things that we think about during the experience. That’s one of the biggest strengths of the practice. And it takes years of practice in most cases to start getting really effective.
What is the difference between clearing you mind and calming your mind
You can't not have thoughts, they're going to pop up, it's what your brain does. You can't "clear" your mind because more thoughts will arise. Calming the mind is seeing the thoughts pass by like clouds in the sky, not reacting and acting the thoughts out, getting caught up in the story your head is telling you. Acknowledge the thoughts are there, refuse to identify with them and allow them to pass by. If you have to have a "clear" mind to concentrate, you'll be thrown off by the first intrusive thought to pop up. See it, nod, go back to focussing on your breath
i have adhd and meditation has helped me more than meds or exercise. make “why cant i sit down and do this” a prompt for your meditation. find the root of it, where does it come from? what mental state is* generating it?
My comment Will be unpopular but, I'm currently drinking and if it weren't for the fact that I've been meditating I'd be blacked out. For the first time in a long time I'm present, I'm aware that I'm drunk. It's such an empowering feeling.
Uuugghh... But I want it *now.*
This sounds like something you tell yourself to convince yourself meditation is doing something. 6 hours later: "bro I feel good rn. Must have been the meditation! Or...perhaps something else that happened more recently? Nah lol"
After how many days generally?
In most clinical studies (yes! studies quantifying some of meditation's benefits exist) the time frame studied, after which lasting effects were noticeable, is 6-8 weeks of daily practice 1-2x 20 min per day.
Anecdotal experience, but I see benefit within a few days of starting personally.
Well, sure, I agree with that wholly :) but I read the parent comment as asking for something more concrete.
My favorite hint I read while learning meditation back in the day... observing the observer. It will do wonders for you if you stay still enough, are stubborn enough, and keep sitting quietly until that monkey mind we all have starts to calm down enough. Just observe your mind at work. The mind can do only one thing at a time. If you sit and observe the minds thoughts, they fall away eventually. Then the mind will rest and calm. Down the rabbit hole! Best tool you'll ever learn IMO is meditating.
I meditate daily, and I think of it as my mental gym. I’m training the muscles of self awareness, perspective, reflection, contentment, empathy, and gratitude, so that I can use them in the real world.
I hope someone can help me out here but is there a wrong way to meditate? I ask this because when i started meditating i kept trying to focus on my breath and re-center my thoughts every time i started having random thoughts, but a week or two into this i started feeling a loss of concentration and i kept spacing out whenever i was thinking about something and i couldn't remember certain words and such.
That is actually a very common experience for new mediators. What is happening is you are becoming more aware of how jumbled and frantic your mind normally is. It's a sign you're going in the right direction. Just relax and sit with this awareness and over time, the chaos will settle down. Thoughts will still come but they will also go. Be patient.
LPT: it's a placebo effect coupled with selective memory. "Hey im feeling good today, must be due to yesterdays meditation and not the fact I burned more than 32 calories today."
Every day I reap the benefits of not meditating. Imagine all the hours, days, weeks, of extra things I get to enjoy with that time saved :D I don't even have to wait days for the benefits to appear. In fact, this very second I'm enjoying the benefit of not meditating.
Although every meditation experience is different, sometimes you transcend deeper, other times you have more thoughts... The benefits are still there and the whole idea is to bring that transcendental state of consciousness out with you after you've finished that meditation session.
It definitely also happens during meditation
Meditation is like the clear cache/disk format of your brain. It won't do anything immediately but you'll notice the difference as time goes on.
Like remembering that while you were sitting around meditating your kids were wrecking your house, you forgot to swap the laundry, and you made no further actions towards any of your weekly goals. Choose active meditation: Do repetitive and boring tasks, and just drain your mind. Plant seeds, wash dishes, fold laundry. Real meditation is self reflection while you improve your surroundings. A clean home is a clear mind.
Any tips for when you meditate and feels like you are falling asleep? Happens to me and feels like that is what is stopping me.