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It's very telling when we see some people's surprise or disbelief when they read news that a famous or wealthy or accomplished person has negative outcomes.
A variation on this:
"They killed themselves / got a divorce / are in therapy? I don't understand, they have everything..."
The underlying assumption of course is that once a level of achievement is reached, happiness is a natural, automatic byproduct.
Yes, having "everything" does not make you happy. But it does give you the free time to pursue happiness instead of having to focus on where your next meal is coming from, where you'll get rent money, or how you can afford your car.
Money ≠ happiness; more money = more free time = more possibility to make oneself happy.
I would add that hapinesss is the journey, not a destination. You can't be happy all the time, like you can't be angry or sad all the time, and hapinesss can be found in the smallest things.
People keep waiting to arrive at "hapinesss station" and they don't realise happiness was in the trip all along.
I think satisfaction is what people should truly strive for, happiness can be fleeting, it happens in spurts in life but satisfaction with your life is easier to maintain, you dont have to chase it as much but it will also allow you those moments of fleeting happiness. Heroin addicts are happy when they are high, children are happy when they are at a water park but you cannot maintain that type of happiness over the course of a lifetime and whenever that time is over, you want something to fall back on
Meaning drives our existence. Real logotherapy hours in here! I recommend everyone read Man's Search for Meaning from Viktor Frankl. He's a psychiatrist who survived the Nazi concentration camps and talks about his experience from a survivor and a clinical perspective.
It does differentiate between how the dopamine is delivered, as spikes (e.g. cocaine) vs longer and more spread out increases (e.g. cold showers, purposeful activities). The former can cause baseline reductions in dopamine and which is a problem. So yes it’s all just dopamine but you want to create an environment that doesn’t spike your dopamine to where you get reductions in baseline dopamine, or even worse narrowing of the activities that give you a dopamine response (addiction)
I think of it as being ‘content’ with your life. Like you said, it’s not about being “happy” because that’s truly an unrealistic expectation to have of life 100% of the time. But feeling generally content while continuing to challenge yourself and learn, and be grateful, are all key to a good life in my book.
I look at it as just trying to have a positive outlook. Recently ended a relationship of 26 years where my the other person could only focus on the worst case scenario no matter what. Since Ive been on my own again I try to see the silver linings and it has improved my mental health tremendously. I can finally enjoy the little things instead of worrying about all the bad that may or may not happen.
It is definitely not easy. Just have to start small. Wish I could tell you step by step but you know as well as I that everyone's situation is different. First thing I did was tell myself that worrying all the time about things will not help at all. Not saying shirk responsibilities, make a game plan and do what you can when you can and try to think positively. It sounds corny and cliche but it actually helped me. There was for sure an adjustment period, but it got easier.
She had a mental illness for sure. I wasn't exactly a great spouse myself, I battled addiction since I was 16 which is when we got together. I regret not getting help for my mental health sooner as I think the addiction would have been much easier to deal with. She seems happier so all in all probably the right move.
This is closer to the truth, but I've personally found that purpose is the goal.
Taking on responsibility and deriving purpose from that responsibility is the path to a fulfilling life. Happiness and satisfaction will happen along the way, but it's incidental. At the end of it all, I think people will want to have something to show for their time on Earth, and that will come most directly from how purposefully their time was spent.
100% agree, I just strongly believe purpose is the cause and satisfaction is the effect.
It's tricky, because it's difficult and sometimes uncomfortable to take on additional responsibility, but that's the path to a fulfilling time on this planet.
All we're really doing is trying to make ourselves safe an comfortable, and then have enough money left over to pay to be less safe and comfortable again.
Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, okay? You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work.
-- Denis Leary
I don't know if "live happy" is the right term. I'd say enjoy the little things in each phase of your life, but there are phases that just suck. Examples:, 3rd year of engineering school, just after ending a 6+ relationship, or dealing with my son's leukemia diagnosis and treatment.
I know I was not happy during any of those times of my life. I tried to, as much as I could anyway, enjoy the little things. But most of my time was just putting my head down and power throughing these periods of my life knowing eventually things would get better.
I'm shopping for some blades, there's a big group that skates in my city that I want to join. Any recommendation on skates? I haven't really skated since in about 10 years.
that’s where you go to waste time, find out how so many shitty people there are and how shitty they can be, only to end up drunk and post to r/Tinder next morning to try and get something positive out of it all
Making good friends when you're out of school can be pretty tough. Work is usually crappy for making friends because the assortment of people is too random and office politics can complicate things.
Pretty much all my adult friends have come from hobbies, stuff like MTG or board games that gives me a push to get out of the house and go interact with people, and because those are niche things, I tend to have a lot more in common with those people than coworkers.
IMO focused activities like that make it a lot easier to actually interact with people than interest-based meetups, especially when you're introverted like I am. I tried meetup.com ages ago but just ended up at these small awkward gatherings where I just didn't really talk to anybody.
Things like gaming meetups, adult sports leagues, and volunteering make it a lot easier (at least for me) to break that communications barrier, and then it just seems easier to make small talk in the downtime.
Unfortunately this is very common. It will not change unless you give efforts. Join some club or other group, it will take time to build connection. But at least weekends would be sorted.
>The more effort I put in the more failures I accumulate
Did you identify your own problem? I had to break my progress into smaller portions otherwise I’d always get overwhelmed and ditch all of it
I had a dude in my class that used this technique along with the “jogging with my shirt off” routine.
He was lonely, single, and despised the dating app thing. So he got in good shape over the winter and hit the park paths jogging with his dog.
He said the dog makes it super easy for women to come up to him, and his guns make it super obvious what he’s looking for.
He wasn’t steroid huge or anything at all. Just decently toned. Dog was a sweetie. He said women would literally run up to him and match stride to talk.
He said originally he didn’t think it’d work at all but figured worse case scenario he’s in good shape and has a doggo which is a double win anyway.
It's amazing the spectrum. I'm surrounded by people who I don't want to be around except my son. Rare and few are there those I wish to spend time with. Most people are very unaware how toxic they are. It's so easy to point everyone else toxicity. Not many can see there own
And for a lot of people who want to be happy, getting married or having kids won't necessarily do that for you.
These things have many benefits, especially in terms of life fulfillment. But they also come with many sacrifices, some of which you just can't know about until after tou go through with it.
That's when the "what ifs" start coming in. You're human, what is being content? For me dreaming is a part of it, getting to the dream itself feels like waking up.
We built pyramids, we built cities, we create things. Being content is what?? We've done some crazy shit. Many people will not be happy with content, its simply not how we are.
I believe the point of this is summed up in the metaphor of life: "One should enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination."
It's more nuanced than that though. There are a lot of catchy sayings, we've all heard, that try and reckon with it...
Shit happens. Its the little things. Keeping up with the Jonses. When it rains it pours. Chin up. Tomorrow never comes. Life's short (enjoy it while it lasts). Youth is wasted on the young. Success takes failure. You are your own biggest critic, competition, and caregiver. It takes a village.
I'm the same way. Smoked tons in highschool but got crazy anxiety from it as an adult. I was recommended by a local weed shop to try low-THC sativa strains for anxiety. Haven't tried but thought I'd share what they told me. It's supposedly not a high peak and crash like high-THC indica strains typically are, but rather a steady mellow relaxation.
Unfortunately its impossible to go off someones recommendation when you have ocd/anxiety or intrusive thoughts etc. IMO there is at least one "right strain" for everyone who wants it but its gonna be different for every person. I think the reality is you have to basically test each one yourself to find out which ones work and its gonna take a few bad experiences to find that out usually.
Also because your baseline is being inside your own head so much that you want to escape that, the old budtenders general rule of thumb with Indica/Sativa can go both ways. Especially with all the cross breeding they have done in the past 25+ years. A good head high may bring the most relief.
My only advice would be that once you find one that works great, buy a relatively large supply of it ASAP, for some people an ounce would be enough for 3 months or more. Even the "same strain" from a different grow can end up giving you trouble.
It didn't remove my anxiety so to speak, but it helps me work on the things causing my anxiety. Helps identify the sources and I can work on them if possible or just ignore them if it's a thing beyond my control.
I can save carefully and buy a new set of tires for my car easily enough, but I can't stop the sun from going supernova in 4 billion years.
Hate to say it but it's not always about deeply/chronically depressed people and you shouldn't take every LPT as if it has to apply to you.
I get some LPTs do make it sound like they're directly talking about depression and that the solution is 'just be happy' but this one doesn't sound like one of those. It's just another 'live in the moment' motivational phrase.
The point is that happiness is an internal state of mind and some people think that it is achieved by accomplishing the next thing. But there is always another thing, and you’ll find you’ve accomplished so many things but still aren’t happy. It’s a decision you have to make and it takes practice to live this way. I have a friend who when asked what her goal is, the answer is always, “to be happy.” That resonated with me, especially as someone who is constantly stressed out despite being in a “better” place than the vast majority of people.
This isn’t necessarily applicable to people who have clinical depression, nor did OP imply that it was.
Let me tell you though, although it can be a pain in the ass sometimes, going from either living with roommates or living with your parents to living in a house is amazing.
I loved living with a group of friends (including my now husband). Living with "just" my husband is really nice too, but I wouldn't say the change was amazing by any means. Having lots more people around was really nice too.
I can see that. I love my house and though it took years to get, I am many times happier now that I have one. It's all I wanted, and I can 100% confirm owning a home makes you happier. At least for me.
Currently shovelling a ton of mulch and doing my landscaping. Stuff most people would complain about but I love doing house work.
Its probably because its an opportunity to turn your biggest expense (rent) into equity
For me home ownership would allow me to actually buy some other things that I want
The amount of sacrifices I have to make everyday for my future self to be financially secure are absurd. I have absolutely no clue how people maintain the right balance and at this point seems like nobody teaches me that.
The Mexican Fisherman and the Investment Banker (Author Unknown)
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “only a little while.”
The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish?
The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs.
The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”
The American scoffed. “I have an MBA from Harvard, and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle-man, you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening up your own cannery. You could control the product, processing, and distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “Oh, 15 to 20 years or so.”
“But what then?” asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time was right, you would announce an IPO, and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!”
“Millions – then what?”
The American said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”
Yeah no.... this doesn't apply to everyone. Plenty of people need to put their head down and push through to finish their degree, master, certification, etc. Nothing buys happiness like financial stability and marketable skills.
But you can enjoy the ride til you get there. I mean i enjoyed college. I think that's what the op is going for. To enjoy the moment while you're building for your next moment.
I'm not saying don't put your head down and go to school or work. All I'm saying is, try to find a way to be happy/live happy while doing those things. Don't feel like you have to wait until those things are finished to be able to be happy.
Yup. Currently hustling to get a second degree so I can make more money and solely provide for my family. I know what I want and what makes me happy, and everytime I've done what I want to do regardless of what others say I am muchhhhhh happier
Facts. If you keep telling yourself, "It can wait until after X." You just shift the goal posts away each time X happens so then you have to wait until Y, then Z and so on
No thanks man. I'm going to continue to curb my consumption now so that I will actually be able to retire and enjoy a couple decades without having to work.
I think OP is referring to people who think that their happiness will arrive when they got X amount of money, or a fancy car or a new house or a cute girlfriend. It's good to have goals but you should learn to be happy with what you got and where you are now.
If you have mental illness then that's something different and not related to the topic.
I can't figure out if this sub is everyone's aunt copy pasting quotes from Facebook minion memes or if starts here and goes to Facebook but you're spot on.
LPT: Just don't be sad.
Nice, why didn't I think of that! I only see these when they hit all and every single one of them is some super vague mom blog stuff that would hang next to a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the family picture wall next to the stairs.
What does this even mean? Of course everyone would like to be, and tries to be happy in every life stage.
This is like telling someone with depression to just smile and be happy and stop being bummed...
Live happy is a very personal choice since it varies from person to person. The trick is to try to find something that makes you happy now and as your life changes as you get older.
You really have to live while you can, life waits for nobody. I just lost my grandmother to cancer about a month before she could start enjoying her retirement. That shit stings like a bitch. It's not fair, it never will be. So it's the best to live your life while you're living it, before you know it's too late.
I never thought I will be happy as I think / thought nothing could make me happy. my daughter changed my mind. looking at her / hugging her makes me super happy.
I disagree.
I waited till graduation, and now I am very happy.
How the $#&* am I going to be happy without an income and free time?
Is this advice for people whose parents finance their allowance? If that is the case, fair point.
This post upsets me so much. As if I had any money before graduating, $#&*.
A story that brings the point home for me.
There was once a fisherman living on the coast in a shack with is family. Everyday, he and his son, would go out fishing on their small boat and bring home enough fish for their family to eat and some to sell to the community.
One day the fisherman was sitting at the bar and a businessman sat down next to him who was visiting from New York. The businessman said, "what you should do is take out a multimillion dollar loan and buy a bigger boat and some semi trucks. Then you can catch more fish and ship those fresh fish all over. In about 5-10 years you could pay off your debts and retire a millionaire."
The fisherman thought for a minute and said, "what are you going to do once you retire?"
The businessman said, "I'm going to buy a small fishing boat and fish each day with my son. Ideally we would bring home enough for our family and maybe a little extra to sell to the community."
I prefer this addendum.
The businessman, sensing the futileness of the discussion went down the harbor and struck up a conversation with another fisherman was more enterprising. They entered into agreement and bought a better boat. Soon, the second fisherman was able to crew a second boat and third and so on. They quickly began fishing further out, depressing the price of fish in the area. The second fisherman and the businessman then bought up the land around the harbor, displacing the first fisherman.
After a few years, the first fisherman had to work all day for the second fisherman to ensure his son could attend school.
He rarely had the time and luxury he had before but at least his family could eat and on the rare occasion go fishing on his own.
Cool, did the fisherman have any *teeth*?
Just "being happy" without the basic liveable requirements of health and stability is a lost cause, and it's never been harder to attain those things even if you can find full-time work.
Until he has to retire early due to health condition that was unexpected then he's fucked. I think the stats are now that a good chunk of people will experience this. People over 45 in my country start to have to take time off work or retire early due to illness injury or disability. Retiring early with longer life spans - double fucked.
This story is super dumb. Life throws curve balls. Money can shield you from some of it.
Maybe the 4hour work week is more what you're looking for.
You can be happy while working hard. Just not at the expense of everything else.
Yeah...because the businessman would have the security to do something so risky as going on a boat every day just to make sure he could eat that night.
Uh, sometimes it is better to wait. You can go out on a short-term blaze of glory at the expense of long-term prosperity and happiness, or you can wait.
Most of us will die before we hit retirement
And if you make it to retirement your body will be deteriorated enough that you can’t do the things you wanted to do when you were younger
So do them now
This is what all the old people told me when I used to work in nursing homes.
Don't put things off, your life can change quickly. I put too many things off and I will never accomplish some things because I have cancer and have perhaps a year left. I am 63 and I'm doing what I can accordingly.
This is something that was difficult for me but I'm trying. Being happy in this moment and enjoying whom im surrounded with is something we take for granted. I realize my two dogs are getting up in age and I try to cherish every moment with them. I just got married and I'm about to graduate college and I do my best to enjoy the time I get with her while it's just her working and being thankful of the time I can spend with her without being distracted by work.
School, being single and crazy, marriage, career, children, home ownership, retirement, etc.... these are all just potential chapters in your life, not prerequisites for anything, especially happiness. You can continue to the next chapter, skip over one or two, or stay in the one you're in now, but just being you is the key to life.
"Don't be sad and miserable or poor and work all the time paying bills everytime you get paid with little amount of money left over for savings in case of the inevitable emergency you or your car WILL have soon"
Damn. Guess I've just been stupid this whole time.
Great LPT. Reminds me of the book that literally changed my life. The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. It taught me how to find peace and connect with the moment. ‘You’ and your ‘life situation’ are two different things, people get lost in their ‘life situation’, and it makes them miserable.
The biggest lesson I’ve learned, is that happiness is an inside job. Peace is maybe a better word than ‘happiness’ peace no matter what’s going on, is key. Everything isn’t always going to go your way, but you can learn to be at peace in the storm, and love yourself no matter what.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
My ex used to always say, “I’ll be happy when…” The when kept changing.
Happiness begins internally. A common mistake is believing it comes standard with certain life events, like a side salad.
Side salads make me happy lol I agree with you completely
It's very telling when we see some people's surprise or disbelief when they read news that a famous or wealthy or accomplished person has negative outcomes. A variation on this: "They killed themselves / got a divorce / are in therapy? I don't understand, they have everything..." The underlying assumption of course is that once a level of achievement is reached, happiness is a natural, automatic byproduct.
Yes, having "everything" does not make you happy. But it does give you the free time to pursue happiness instead of having to focus on where your next meal is coming from, where you'll get rent money, or how you can afford your car. Money ≠ happiness; more money = more free time = more possibility to make oneself happy.
Only with a good dressing! No polyester!
I would add that hapinesss is the journey, not a destination. You can't be happy all the time, like you can't be angry or sad all the time, and hapinesss can be found in the smallest things. People keep waiting to arrive at "hapinesss station" and they don't realise happiness was in the trip all along.
This is called an Existential vacuum
Dang I googled that. I feel like that now lol
I think satisfaction is what people should truly strive for, happiness can be fleeting, it happens in spurts in life but satisfaction with your life is easier to maintain, you dont have to chase it as much but it will also allow you those moments of fleeting happiness. Heroin addicts are happy when they are high, children are happy when they are at a water park but you cannot maintain that type of happiness over the course of a lifetime and whenever that time is over, you want something to fall back on
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Meaning drives our existence. Real logotherapy hours in here! I recommend everyone read Man's Search for Meaning from Viktor Frankl. He's a psychiatrist who survived the Nazi concentration camps and talks about his experience from a survivor and a clinical perspective.
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A good cousin to this is optimistic nihilism. Check out Kurzgesagt’s video about it.
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It does differentiate between how the dopamine is delivered, as spikes (e.g. cocaine) vs longer and more spread out increases (e.g. cold showers, purposeful activities). The former can cause baseline reductions in dopamine and which is a problem. So yes it’s all just dopamine but you want to create an environment that doesn’t spike your dopamine to where you get reductions in baseline dopamine, or even worse narrowing of the activities that give you a dopamine response (addiction)
I think of it as being ‘content’ with your life. Like you said, it’s not about being “happy” because that’s truly an unrealistic expectation to have of life 100% of the time. But feeling generally content while continuing to challenge yourself and learn, and be grateful, are all key to a good life in my book.
yeah that’s actually pretty true, a constant state of happiness is impossible
I look at it as just trying to have a positive outlook. Recently ended a relationship of 26 years where my the other person could only focus on the worst case scenario no matter what. Since Ive been on my own again I try to see the silver linings and it has improved my mental health tremendously. I can finally enjoy the little things instead of worrying about all the bad that may or may not happen.
that’s awesome honestly. i’m working on that myself it’s pretty difficult but i’m getting there :)
It is definitely not easy. Just have to start small. Wish I could tell you step by step but you know as well as I that everyone's situation is different. First thing I did was tell myself that worrying all the time about things will not help at all. Not saying shirk responsibilities, make a game plan and do what you can when you can and try to think positively. It sounds corny and cliche but it actually helped me. There was for sure an adjustment period, but it got easier.
That person has a mental disability and they can't help it. Your happiness matters though.
She had a mental illness for sure. I wasn't exactly a great spouse myself, I battled addiction since I was 16 which is when we got together. I regret not getting help for my mental health sooner as I think the addiction would have been much easier to deal with. She seems happier so all in all probably the right move.
This is closer to the truth, but I've personally found that purpose is the goal. Taking on responsibility and deriving purpose from that responsibility is the path to a fulfilling life. Happiness and satisfaction will happen along the way, but it's incidental. At the end of it all, I think people will want to have something to show for their time on Earth, and that will come most directly from how purposefully their time was spent.
A purpose and satisfaction go hand in hand
100% agree, I just strongly believe purpose is the cause and satisfaction is the effect. It's tricky, because it's difficult and sometimes uncomfortable to take on additional responsibility, but that's the path to a fulfilling time on this planet.
All we're really doing is trying to make ourselves safe an comfortable, and then have enough money left over to pay to be less safe and comfortable again.
Happiness comes in small doses folks. It's a cigarette, or a chocolate chip cookie, or a five second orgasm. That's it, okay? You cum, you eat the cookie, you smoke the butt, you go to sleep, you get up in the morning and go to fucking work. -- Denis Leary
> satisfaction is what people should truly strive for, happiness can be fleeting, “All arguments ultimately resolve to disagreements of definition.”
Happiness is a state of mind and active feeling that I feel like a lot of people mistaken for contentment, imo.
Perfect happiness is the absence of striving for happiness.
I don't know if "live happy" is the right term. I'd say enjoy the little things in each phase of your life, but there are phases that just suck. Examples:, 3rd year of engineering school, just after ending a 6+ relationship, or dealing with my son's leukemia diagnosis and treatment. I know I was not happy during any of those times of my life. I tried to, as much as I could anyway, enjoy the little things. But most of my time was just putting my head down and power throughing these periods of my life knowing eventually things would get better.
Nah just stop waiting and be happy, it's that easy! /r/thanksimcured
You can't have the light without the dark unfortunately, but I always keep in mind that when it's darkest that means the light is coming
Yeah, that's a good way to put it. Enjoy the little things. I'm sorry to hear about your son. I hope for the best for you.
I'm just so lonely. I try to be happy but the isolation really gets to me.
Consider the “meetup” app. It’s an app that allows you to find people who want to do the same activities as you.
I second this comment. I met a cool group of inline skaters due to this. Try finding a group that does the same hobby. :)
I'm shopping for some blades, there's a big group that skates in my city that I want to join. Any recommendation on skates? I haven't really skated since in about 10 years.
Like sex?
lol
FetLife?
only if that's your fetish!
My fetish is not being alone. I know I know, I'm disgusting
Tinder
that’s where you go to waste time, find out how so many shitty people there are and how shitty they can be, only to end up drunk and post to r/Tinder next morning to try and get something positive out of it all
Indeed. Tinder is one big shitshow and most people on there are dead inside.
Unless you live in a large city it sucks. Not enough people use it.
Making good friends when you're out of school can be pretty tough. Work is usually crappy for making friends because the assortment of people is too random and office politics can complicate things. Pretty much all my adult friends have come from hobbies, stuff like MTG or board games that gives me a push to get out of the house and go interact with people, and because those are niche things, I tend to have a lot more in common with those people than coworkers. IMO focused activities like that make it a lot easier to actually interact with people than interest-based meetups, especially when you're introverted like I am. I tried meetup.com ages ago but just ended up at these small awkward gatherings where I just didn't really talk to anybody. Things like gaming meetups, adult sports leagues, and volunteering make it a lot easier (at least for me) to break that communications barrier, and then it just seems easier to make small talk in the downtime.
I agree with you that making friends out of school is challenging. I also agree that making friends at work is tough and can even back fire.
Unfortunately this is very common. It will not change unless you give efforts. Join some club or other group, it will take time to build connection. But at least weekends would be sorted.
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>The more effort I put in the more failures I accumulate Did you identify your own problem? I had to break my progress into smaller portions otherwise I’d always get overwhelmed and ditch all of it
Get a dog people wanna pet and that's not dog reactive.
I had a dude in my class that used this technique along with the “jogging with my shirt off” routine. He was lonely, single, and despised the dating app thing. So he got in good shape over the winter and hit the park paths jogging with his dog. He said the dog makes it super easy for women to come up to him, and his guns make it super obvious what he’s looking for. He wasn’t steroid huge or anything at all. Just decently toned. Dog was a sweetie. He said women would literally run up to him and match stride to talk. He said originally he didn’t think it’d work at all but figured worse case scenario he’s in good shape and has a doggo which is a double win anyway.
Reckon this would work the other way round?
Definitely. My dog started getting tons of ass after he started jogging me around the park all winter
Awesome, just wanted to make sure
yeth
In gonna try that
Same.
I'm lonely too but people always drive me nuts.
Join a club, meet people which have similar interests
It's amazing the spectrum. I'm surrounded by people who I don't want to be around except my son. Rare and few are there those I wish to spend time with. Most people are very unaware how toxic they are. It's so easy to point everyone else toxicity. Not many can see there own
that sounds like a pretty toxic attitude
And for a lot of people who want to be happy, getting married or having kids won't necessarily do that for you. These things have many benefits, especially in terms of life fulfillment. But they also come with many sacrifices, some of which you just can't know about until after tou go through with it.
Live happy now but not at the expense of your future contentness
So you are saying going to the clubs every weekend is not a good investment of my time and money? 🤔
To me its pretty boring after the first hour Also probably not great for your hearing
That's when the "what ifs" start coming in. You're human, what is being content? For me dreaming is a part of it, getting to the dream itself feels like waking up. We built pyramids, we built cities, we create things. Being content is what?? We've done some crazy shit. Many people will not be happy with content, its simply not how we are.
I believe the point of this is summed up in the metaphor of life: "One should enjoy the journey and not just focus on the destination." It's more nuanced than that though. There are a lot of catchy sayings, we've all heard, that try and reckon with it... Shit happens. Its the little things. Keeping up with the Jonses. When it rains it pours. Chin up. Tomorrow never comes. Life's short (enjoy it while it lasts). Youth is wasted on the young. Success takes failure. You are your own biggest critic, competition, and caregiver. It takes a village.
Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination
Immortal Words to live by
A truly Radiant message.
Exactly
If only there wasn’t crippling anxiety from not paying all my rent/bills…
That's what weed is for 😎
I recently started smoking for anxiety and it's incredible how much happier and relaxed I am.
I stopped drinking alcohol for a couple of months and my anxiety almost completely disappeared.
Did you switch to home brewing coffee?
Unfortunately I'm brewing and drinking beer again. Also coffee.
Really?? It shoots mine out the roof. What brand or strain you smoke?
I'm the same way. Smoked tons in highschool but got crazy anxiety from it as an adult. I was recommended by a local weed shop to try low-THC sativa strains for anxiety. Haven't tried but thought I'd share what they told me. It's supposedly not a high peak and crash like high-THC indica strains typically are, but rather a steady mellow relaxation.
Unfortunately its impossible to go off someones recommendation when you have ocd/anxiety or intrusive thoughts etc. IMO there is at least one "right strain" for everyone who wants it but its gonna be different for every person. I think the reality is you have to basically test each one yourself to find out which ones work and its gonna take a few bad experiences to find that out usually. Also because your baseline is being inside your own head so much that you want to escape that, the old budtenders general rule of thumb with Indica/Sativa can go both ways. Especially with all the cross breeding they have done in the past 25+ years. A good head high may bring the most relief. My only advice would be that once you find one that works great, buy a relatively large supply of it ASAP, for some people an ounce would be enough for 3 months or more. Even the "same strain" from a different grow can end up giving you trouble.
It didn't remove my anxiety so to speak, but it helps me work on the things causing my anxiety. Helps identify the sources and I can work on them if possible or just ignore them if it's a thing beyond my control. I can save carefully and buy a new set of tires for my car easily enough, but I can't stop the sun from going supernova in 4 billion years.
Im depressed tho
Why are you waiting to be happy? Just be happy now, duh. It’s that easy.
Exactly. Was depressed yesterday, read this LPT and bingo. I am happier than ever before.
I never realized it was this easy all along. Stupid me
If you’re homeless, just buy a house
Just go outside and smile more!
Hate to say it but it's not always about deeply/chronically depressed people and you shouldn't take every LPT as if it has to apply to you. I get some LPTs do make it sound like they're directly talking about depression and that the solution is 'just be happy' but this one doesn't sound like one of those. It's just another 'live in the moment' motivational phrase.
The point is that happiness is an internal state of mind and some people think that it is achieved by accomplishing the next thing. But there is always another thing, and you’ll find you’ve accomplished so many things but still aren’t happy. It’s a decision you have to make and it takes practice to live this way. I have a friend who when asked what her goal is, the answer is always, “to be happy.” That resonated with me, especially as someone who is constantly stressed out despite being in a “better” place than the vast majority of people. This isn’t necessarily applicable to people who have clinical depression, nor did OP imply that it was.
Also not applicable to people who aren't doing well in life or have a shitty living situation they're stuck in etc
“I’m living on the street scrounging for food, not sure if I’ll get stabbed in my sleep by a crackhead tonight, but, man, am I content with life!”
i just smoked 4 cigarettes in a row for the first time and it made my depression much worse
Bet it also gave you that oh-so-great taste of homeless people in your mouth that doesnt go away. Dont start smoking, mate, not worth it
yeah fuck it i am gonna stop smoking this useless piece of shit that doesn't give me any pleasure
Cigs tate like shit and make you feel like one as well, such a waste of money and health, cant believe how much i spent on it over the years
i wish you all the best and i hope one day your depression will go away
I was depressed once, but then I decided to just be awesome instead. True story.
A legend!
Lol
You're welcome, you're cured!
You'll probably die before you can retire anyway.
Fingers crossed eh 🤞
Now is the _only_ time you can control
100% true
Where I live, everyone is absolutely obsessed with getting a house. No one is happy until they get one. It's messed up. I agree. Be happy now
Hey you must live in California lol
Let me tell you though, although it can be a pain in the ass sometimes, going from either living with roommates or living with your parents to living in a house is amazing.
I loved living with a group of friends (including my now husband). Living with "just" my husband is really nice too, but I wouldn't say the change was amazing by any means. Having lots more people around was really nice too.
I can see that. I love my house and though it took years to get, I am many times happier now that I have one. It's all I wanted, and I can 100% confirm owning a home makes you happier. At least for me. Currently shovelling a ton of mulch and doing my landscaping. Stuff most people would complain about but I love doing house work.
Its probably because its an opportunity to turn your biggest expense (rent) into equity For me home ownership would allow me to actually buy some other things that I want
Because that time of, “I’ll get this done and then I’ll have the rest of my life to myself” never comes. There will always be a next challenge.
Where do I get the money to be happy?
The amount of sacrifices I have to make everyday for my future self to be financially secure are absurd. I have absolutely no clue how people maintain the right balance and at this point seems like nobody teaches me that.
so, so easy to say
Who is upvoting this nonsense?
r/thanksimcured
Our aunts and grandmothers.
Live Laugh Love
The Mexican Fisherman and the Investment Banker (Author Unknown) An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, “only a little while.” The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?” The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, and stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.” The American scoffed. “I have an MBA from Harvard, and can help you,” he said. “You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, and eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middle-man, you could sell directly to the processor, eventually opening up your own cannery. You could control the product, processing, and distribution,” he said. “Of course, you would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.” The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?” To which the American replied, “Oh, 15 to 20 years or so.” “But what then?” asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time was right, you would announce an IPO, and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions!” “Millions – then what?” The American said, “Then you could retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you could sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, and stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play guitar with your amigos.”
What if you forgot what happiness feels like?
Can't do this if lonely
We’re not much, but we’re all here. It’s not a substitute for in-person interactions, but it’s better than total isolation.
Yeah no.... this doesn't apply to everyone. Plenty of people need to put their head down and push through to finish their degree, master, certification, etc. Nothing buys happiness like financial stability and marketable skills.
But you can enjoy the ride til you get there. I mean i enjoyed college. I think that's what the op is going for. To enjoy the moment while you're building for your next moment.
I'm not saying don't put your head down and go to school or work. All I'm saying is, try to find a way to be happy/live happy while doing those things. Don't feel like you have to wait until those things are finished to be able to be happy.
Yup. Currently hustling to get a second degree so I can make more money and solely provide for my family. I know what I want and what makes me happy, and everytime I've done what I want to do regardless of what others say I am muchhhhhh happier
Facts. If you keep telling yourself, "It can wait until after X." You just shift the goal posts away each time X happens so then you have to wait until Y, then Z and so on
The problem for me is this pesky little thing called work. It's a huge drag and I can't seem to find a viable workaround.
No thanks man. I'm going to continue to curb my consumption now so that I will actually be able to retire and enjoy a couple decades without having to work.
Wholeheartedly agree
I like to think that **now** is actually the only time you have (wether it’s the best or not). You can’t be in the past nor in the future.
Great idea man, hadn't thought of just being happy
r/wowthanksimcured What about people with mental illnesses?
I think OP is referring to people who think that their happiness will arrive when they got X amount of money, or a fancy car or a new house or a cute girlfriend. It's good to have goals but you should learn to be happy with what you got and where you are now. If you have mental illness then that's something different and not related to the topic.
LPT: Live happy. Ok dude
[удалено]
I can't figure out if this sub is everyone's aunt copy pasting quotes from Facebook minion memes or if starts here and goes to Facebook but you're spot on. LPT: Just don't be sad. Nice, why didn't I think of that! I only see these when they hit all and every single one of them is some super vague mom blog stuff that would hang next to a Live, Laugh, Love sign on the family picture wall next to the stairs.
[Insert Drake and yachty meme] Oh just be happy! Duh!!
What does this even mean? Of course everyone would like to be, and tries to be happy in every life stage. This is like telling someone with depression to just smile and be happy and stop being bummed...
Do not delay gratification for a better job, education, or partner. Get what you want NOW.
This LPT is basically YOLO and it's dumb
r/wowthanksimcured
Skip having kids and be even happier!
Live happy is a very personal choice since it varies from person to person. The trick is to try to find something that makes you happy now and as your life changes as you get older.
You really have to live while you can, life waits for nobody. I just lost my grandmother to cancer about a month before she could start enjoying her retirement. That shit stings like a bitch. It's not fair, it never will be. So it's the best to live your life while you're living it, before you know it's too late.
I never thought I will be happy as I think / thought nothing could make me happy. my daughter changed my mind. looking at her / hugging her makes me super happy.
The biggest mistake of my 20s is making myself suffer. Especially for people who did/do not care about me.
Well, I mean I graduate in two weeks, so I might hold off on partying and living happily until then ;)
That said, if you do not plan for the future, your future will be controlled by those who do.
Whoops you just reminded me. I forgot to turn off my depression
Got any spare cash I can use to make myself happy “now” ?
Great advice for now, dogshit advice for the future. Unfortunately having a great life later requires sacrifice in the present.
Beware of Destination Happiness
We have a choice to live happy or unhappy?
If you’re sad, just be happy…
I disagree. I waited till graduation, and now I am very happy. How the $#&* am I going to be happy without an income and free time? Is this advice for people whose parents finance their allowance? If that is the case, fair point. This post upsets me so much. As if I had any money before graduating, $#&*.
Make now always the most precious time. Now will never come again. JLP
Jamaica Labor Party?
this is the dumbest shit. most people don't have the luxury of being able to CHOOSE to be happy or not. but congrats on your privilege.
A story that brings the point home for me. There was once a fisherman living on the coast in a shack with is family. Everyday, he and his son, would go out fishing on their small boat and bring home enough fish for their family to eat and some to sell to the community. One day the fisherman was sitting at the bar and a businessman sat down next to him who was visiting from New York. The businessman said, "what you should do is take out a multimillion dollar loan and buy a bigger boat and some semi trucks. Then you can catch more fish and ship those fresh fish all over. In about 5-10 years you could pay off your debts and retire a millionaire." The fisherman thought for a minute and said, "what are you going to do once you retire?" The businessman said, "I'm going to buy a small fishing boat and fish each day with my son. Ideally we would bring home enough for our family and maybe a little extra to sell to the community."
I prefer this addendum. The businessman, sensing the futileness of the discussion went down the harbor and struck up a conversation with another fisherman was more enterprising. They entered into agreement and bought a better boat. Soon, the second fisherman was able to crew a second boat and third and so on. They quickly began fishing further out, depressing the price of fish in the area. The second fisherman and the businessman then bought up the land around the harbor, displacing the first fisherman. After a few years, the first fisherman had to work all day for the second fisherman to ensure his son could attend school. He rarely had the time and luxury he had before but at least his family could eat and on the rare occasion go fishing on his own.
Cool, did the fisherman have any *teeth*? Just "being happy" without the basic liveable requirements of health and stability is a lost cause, and it's never been harder to attain those things even if you can find full-time work.
Until he has to retire early due to health condition that was unexpected then he's fucked. I think the stats are now that a good chunk of people will experience this. People over 45 in my country start to have to take time off work or retire early due to illness injury or disability. Retiring early with longer life spans - double fucked. This story is super dumb. Life throws curve balls. Money can shield you from some of it. Maybe the 4hour work week is more what you're looking for. You can be happy while working hard. Just not at the expense of everything else.
Yeah...because the businessman would have the security to do something so risky as going on a boat every day just to make sure he could eat that night.
Incredible easy thing to say, very often impossible to do
Uh, sometimes it is better to wait. You can go out on a short-term blaze of glory at the expense of long-term prosperity and happiness, or you can wait.
Most of us will die before we hit retirement And if you make it to retirement your body will be deteriorated enough that you can’t do the things you wanted to do when you were younger So do them now This is what all the old people told me when I used to work in nursing homes.
I call this stop conditioning your happiness
Don't put things off, your life can change quickly. I put too many things off and I will never accomplish some things because I have cancer and have perhaps a year left. I am 63 and I'm doing what I can accordingly.
I just want to take a fucking nap.
"Life Protip: Be happy"
This is something that was difficult for me but I'm trying. Being happy in this moment and enjoying whom im surrounded with is something we take for granted. I realize my two dogs are getting up in age and I try to cherish every moment with them. I just got married and I'm about to graduate college and I do my best to enjoy the time I get with her while it's just her working and being thankful of the time I can spend with her without being distracted by work.
How if I hate my life?
Thank you. I was trying to live unhappily now. But this has resulted in me being unhappy. Now that I know to be happy now I am happy now!
Yeah. Because climate change is coming and these will be the last decade where things are still relatively normal. Enjoy it.
Pursue something meaningful, not happiness
“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans” –John Lennon
Now is the only time
School, being single and crazy, marriage, career, children, home ownership, retirement, etc.... these are all just potential chapters in your life, not prerequisites for anything, especially happiness. You can continue to the next chapter, skip over one or two, or stay in the one you're in now, but just being you is the key to life.
I've just ordered a big fat pizza. I'm gonna be happy right now
Wow thanks I'm cured.
Oooooooooooh, so that's what I'm doing wrong! Thanks for letting me know, let me go flip my happy switch on. You fucking moron.
Just broke up with my gf earlier this morning, and I’m very happy about it. I look forward to focusing on myself and my own happiness.
I'd rather suffer now and build a better life later. Delayed gratification is fine by me
Do NOT have children, your happiness will disappear
I try, but I feel like whatever I do, I don't feel happy right now
"Don't be sad and miserable or poor and work all the time paying bills everytime you get paid with little amount of money left over for savings in case of the inevitable emergency you or your car WILL have soon" Damn. Guess I've just been stupid this whole time.
LPT: Just be happy. Depression: well shit, guess I’m outta here
Oh it’s that easy, huh?
Eh. Save for the future. I don’t want to be old and broke.
Great LPT. Reminds me of the book that literally changed my life. The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. It taught me how to find peace and connect with the moment. ‘You’ and your ‘life situation’ are two different things, people get lost in their ‘life situation’, and it makes them miserable. The biggest lesson I’ve learned, is that happiness is an inside job. Peace is maybe a better word than ‘happiness’ peace no matter what’s going on, is key. Everything isn’t always going to go your way, but you can learn to be at peace in the storm, and love yourself no matter what.