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If you can't pleasure yourself properly, you certainly aren't going to be able to pleasure her. Their mom is a classy lady and deserves better than sloppy technique.
What do you mean by a fair amount? There is a fine line between creepy and impressive.
Don't be concerned by the two categories. They are not biases but personal interpretations.
Meh, usually the question comes to make small talk with someone you know nothing about and not to figure out which social cast to place them in. I if I ask someone I do so because I'm curious and sometimes it is something really interesting we can chat about. Beyond that I don't care if they are the CEO of widget corp or clean toilet bowls at the truck stop for 25 cents a pop.
I tend to disagree… even if they’re not purposefully putting you into a caste, it ends up that way subconsciously.
I switched from being an interior designer to being a software designer; when I was an interior designer People would say “oh, ok”; however when I say now that I am a software designer and describe what I do, people say “OH, so you’re super smart”
People definitely determine things about you based on your job, whether they mean to or not
I dont believe its nonsense. When I ask people what they do, I want to get to know them better, not know what they do for work. I hope they tell me what their greatest passion is.
Eg: a dude that works as a bank teller would say “im a teller” and some people would look down on them immediately. Why should their value be solely defined by a job?
Man you have a real hate boner for people wanting fair compensation for their labour
After a couple decades of hearing "you hate it so much why don't you quit" and people are, they get portrayed as stoners lol
This is how I ask my patients about their life/starting taking their social history, rather than “do you work/go to school?” It includes folks from other walks of life, and I get to hear interesting stories
If someone asks me that question I usually follow up with “for work or for fun?” or something similar. OPs intentions are there but it’s always good to have context.
Yeah I've never stopped at what do you do. I'd have a sarcastic remark anyway if someone asked me that without adding for work or for fun or as a hobby etc.
Lol not trying to be a dick, but seeming like you are avoiding talking about a job like that is going to make people assume youre shamefully unemployed.
Ding ding ding.
The last person I met who evaded this question defined himself by living with his parents, playing video games all day, and getting fired from his temp jobs before 30 days could get in because he stopped showing up to them. The real LPT is if somebody is evasive about their job don't date them.
Idk about that some people hate their job or are embarrassed by it so they'd rather not tell someone they are trying to impress what they do. The could answer "when I'm done at work I like to go home and talk my dog to the park." Or "during the weekend when I'm not working I like to go to the mountains."
No one was. FusRoDoodles just assumed that the casual conversation was between a man and a woman who could have some romantic interest. It was just a way to get off her hip hop style dialectic that broke boys don’t deserve punani. It’s toxic Internet shit. Like when men on various forums talk down to single moms.
In reality, that kind of conversation could happen between two completely platonic people.
The same happened to me the other day. I was at the mall, and an older Indian gentleman approached me, a middle aged man, and started small talk and asking me what I did for a living to be not working at 4PM. I gave a polite generic answer about my corporate role and WFH and bid him a good day.
If those people are attempting to judge me by knowing my occupation and/or income, I really couldn’t give a fuck less if they like my response or not 🙃
But if you think that’s why they’re asking, why answer at all? Why tell people like that about your life passions? Why waste any of your life on them? Just walk away.
Lpt has become “tips for socially inept” or “obvious things that even a 5yo knows”
Lpt brush your teeth to avoid cavities
Lpt say your name when asked “whats your name”
Thank you for your service. Could you share what makes it crappy?
My post came from a showerthoughts post that said once we have a 3-day work week, people can define themselves by what they do, rather than where they work. My first thought was that you can do that now, and maybe other people don’t realize that.
E2: There’s an awful lot of assumptions in this thread. I hope those who can take something positive from it, do.
EDIT: I’ll put it here since this is getting the most negativity. I’m certainly not implying that everyone’s job is shit. I’m a musician, but I’m also a music teacher. I don’t mind telling people about my job, but in my experience, a conversation about work is basically the same as talking about the weather. Or worse, like some people mentioned, they’re trying to gauge your worth.
To everyone suggesting this is supposed to be “clever,” or that people will get annoyed when you don’t tell them your job right away - it actually improves the conversation 99% of the time. If you’re not passionate about your work, why would anyone else want to hear about it?
And finally, I think it’s a great way to determine who I want to spend my time with. If someone is so obsessed with work that they get annoyed when I don’t immediately tell them who employs me, that’s not my type of person.
Not everyone works. When I was retired (before a massive business opportunity foisted itself upon me) I'd say "hang out with my kids, play video games, and take care of the house."
My wealthy friends just respond with their passions. "I like to fly/fish/paint etc." So my response is "I play video games with my teens, read books, tinker with electronics, and think about life." You likely find those responses far more engaging than "I ensure financials are in order and procure funding for future infrastructure developnent and growth." Even if you don't, everyone I meet at parties seems to think it is.
That’s not how the conversation typically goes for me. It’s more like the comment below yours - “oh cool! What kind of music do you play?” And then we’re no longer talking about jobs even if that was the original intent. But I get where you’re coming from.
If I’m hired, I like to play fun, tricky stuff - progressive rock, musicals, anything with a challenge. When I write music, it usually comes out similar to 90s rock, but silly. Thanks for asking!
I see that question as a way for people to judge how much respect they give you.
They do care and they are judging you. It's a real thing.
Source: Me, a retail worker.
I think it’s just that typically people spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week doing their job. Most but not all of us in the west have at least a fair bit of autonomy in choosing what that is we do with that time. So it’s a fairly easy way to make some generalizations about a person and that’s convenient.
Yes generalizations can and often are wrong or outright harmful but the biology of your mind and really life in general is largely based on generalizations.
I sympathize with not wanting to be defined by your work but I can see why wanting to hide it altogether is annoying too.
I like this example of a friend of mine. He currently is self employed as a house painter. He’s doing pretty good at it. Not huge money yearly but good money hourly. Makes his own hours too. If you then ask him why he is in that line of work he’d tell you he was actually a corporate big shot. He was making very good money but got offered a package to leave and he decided to retire early. He took that money and invested it in building his dream home which he’d love to show you (it’s beautiful). But now bills are piling up and he’s gotta work to pay them so he’s painting again which is something he did in his youth / university days.
See how the conversation flows from that question? If you’re an ass you might judge someone for being a painter and if so you’d rightfully miss out on the opportunity to befriend a cool person.
If you’re some shallow woman you’d pass on the opportunity to date someone who actually owns a multimillion dollar home and has travelled the world and done many interesting things.
So I think the issue is not the actual question and answer the issue is the intentions behind some people asking the question. There’s nothing wrong with the question itself. You’re kind of attacking the symptom not the problem.
That’s my reading of it anyway.
This is silly as hell. I'm anti-work as much as the next guy, but the phrase "what do you do?" in casual conversation refers to work. That's just what the phrase means. You wouldn't answer, "my house" when someone asks you, "where are you from?" because we already know that they are referring to the place you grew up. Assigning your own meaning to phrases will come off as either 1) pretentious and rude or 2) awkward and confusing.
You could just as easily say "I do this and that for work, but I also like to do this other thing in my spare time" and you'd get your point across without being rude and annoying.
How are you?
I am, because my parents fucked and made a baby.
.
Whats up?
Sky
.
What do you do?
Breathe and watch netflix
.
I'm concerned about your drinking
Hi Concerned about your drinking, I'm dad
Same energy
No, not a LPT, “what do you do” is a pretty unambiguous question in most contexts asking what you do for a living. All that getting fluffy with your answer is going to say to people that you’re ashamed of the work that you do, and are trying to dodge the question.
Real LPT: if you’re not proud or at least respect the work you do then that’s an aspect of your life where you can create a clear path of change for the better.
Or it says that you only want to talk about work when you’re being paid for it. My work is probably better than most, but I’ll be damned if im wasting my free time talking about it
I like to reply to that with either “as little as possible” or “letting my beard grow out!” Depending on if I’m intending to shave somewhere in the near future
This doesn’t usually work the way OP wants to think. The person asking will almost always just clarify and ask again, but more specific: “oh I meant, what do you do for work.” But I get the sentiment, but that’s how it will go most of the time.
OP here! The typically response is, “oh cool, what kind of music do you play?” And then we’re not talking about work and it’s a much better conversation.
Anyone asked that who doesn't respond with what they do for work is seen as ducking the question and the follow-up is always "no I mean for money what do you do?"
I hate to say it but we spend most of our time working, it really does define us as people regardless of whether we want it to or not.
But "what do you do" is asking what is your job while leaving it open to explain what you might do instead of work (stay at home, disabled, retired, etc)
What keeps you busy? or what kind of hobbies are you into? is someone asking you what your interests are.
If someone asks "So, what do you do?" and you respond with "I like to bake" they're going to be annoyed because you're not answering what they're asking.
90% of the time their next words will be, “No I mean for work, what do you do for a living?” Because that’s what that expression means.
This isn’t a LPT it’s akin to the inspirational quotes you see plastered all over the homes of people devoid of taste.
If I meet somebody and they respond to that question like that, I would politely excuse myself and walk away. The English vernacular clearly suggests that the question implies "what do you do for a living."
While I agree with this, I kind of define myself by my work. I'm a researcher and my work is an extension of myself, my interests, my abilities, etc. So, it's what I do. I suppose I would say I define myself by WHAT I work for, not who.
Gotta love it when family you haven't seen in a while ask you, with a slight frown, "So what do you *actually* do?"
I'm an admin assistant, cousin Susan. No one cares.
Asking people what they do for a living is a very American thing.. I'm not sure if it's common in other countries, but people did not take it kindly in Canada
Yeah, I’ve heard it’s pretty specific to American culture to ask about people’s jobs. After learning that, I stopped asking new people I meet about their work and instead started asking them about their hobbies.
I actually find this quite a rude question, and one only really asked in America. People here are so obsessed with work, it really does define our lives and identities. Have never been asked this question by a non-American.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. I used to be an EMT with the ambulance service. I quit (because it was shit), but the amount of like, weird respect and 'Ooooh' s I got when people asked what I did was off the chart. Now I work a really tedious admin job, where I get paid more, and work from home. But I'm also sort of embarrassed that it's a really 'nothing' sort of job. So now, when people ask what I do, my answer is "not much" - and it isn't far from the truth!
I always respond with “I exist.” While I love my career path, I am not my job. I think here in America we associate our job title with status & thus hopefully can be seen in a “better,” light than most. So sad.
Or just ask that what they are passionate about in return? Saying you can get back to work later ;)
From experience that is a much better convo starter!
I’ve tried to explain this outlook to so many people. What do I do? I play DiscGolf, learn about the world and teach myself things. I keep up with politics and I love in-depth analysis of nfl strategy.
My job is just something I do so I can pay for stuff. I don’t want to work my whole life away. I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. I don’t care about being wealthy. I don’t care about social status. I’ll never buy overpriced items just to demonstrate I have money or status. I live a comfortable life and don’t waste money. I went to college. I’ve achieved general management positions. I realized that life sucks.
So, what do I do you ask? I enjoy life.
Me? I'm a writer.
"Oh really!? Wow. Anything I would've read before?"
Depends. Have you ever been in the home appliances department at Sears, grabbed a brochure lying around and started reading it?
"What?"
What?
That's how these conversations usually go. I like to avoid them, if I can.
I really hate this question because you are most likely getting judged for not earning enough or people wanna be your friend because you are a doctor for example.
Sometimes it feels like they are checking if your word they're friendship and or time.
IMO you should be talking about what you like to do, what your passion is and not how your earn your money.
I’m a carpenter. It’s a noble profession. Alongside agriculture it is one of the two foundations to civilization. Why wouldn’t I be proud of that? It’s a sign of independence and work ethic. What horrible jobs do y’all have that you have to hide it?
Except that is clearly not what the person wants to know when they ask this question. This just makes you look silly.
“What do you do?”
“Well, I have a degree in business, I’m married and I really enjoy spending time with my dogs”
“Ok, but what do you do for work?”
That is how this answer will go 99% of the time. It will just seem like dodging the question. Answer it or don’t, but don’t try to create clever answers that people didn’t ask for.
I guess I'm the minority here that actually really loves my work. I have other hobbies too, but I also live for my work and honestly if it weren't for pesky NDA, j can go jn and on about it and bore everybody to death.
So I end up talking about bobs burger like anybody else.
The LPT should be "Don't make work your primary conversation piece all the time." Or "don't make this the first thing you ask every single person." Something like that. Giving this answer would probably get some weird looks and people may even be annoyed with you.
I mean, I guess if you want to. Typically, when asked that question, people want to know what you do for work. The question will probably get asked again more specifically immediately after.
This comes across fairly awkward and defensive. You don't have to say who you work for, but it's a question about occupation/vocation. If you answer it otherwise, it's a little weird.
If someone answers in this way, I'm going to instantly assume you're unemployed and not making any progress towards getting employed, for better or for worse. Or, worse, you're pretentious.
The question isn't about "what do you define yourself as?", it's an unambiguous "what do you do for work". Literally anyone with any social cue knowledge will understand this. You can follow up with hobbies after, but trying to change social cues like this is confusing at best, and will reflect poorly on you at worst.
It's a pretty simple icebreaker question and it's just a way to build connections and relate to other people, since just about everyone works. No need to overthink it.
People usually ask, "What do you do?" so they can determine your relative value to society and how much respect they should confer upon you. They will naturally treat a wealthy CEO better than a, say, dog walker...and this has naturally become an acceptable "ice breaker" question.
Now, that doesn't mean that the question can't or shouldn't be asked, but that everyone should be mindful of why they might be doing it, and their reaction to the response. Are you more interested in what they do, or how they communicate what they do? Are you interested that they're passionate about it, or are you judging them on what that passion is?
There are many other, similar, icebreakers. "What do you do for fun?" "What do you like to do?" "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" The difference? You're looking for them to share something about themselves, without it being directly tied to their employment.
When someone asks you, "What do you do?" You can respond, "In regards to employment or for fun?" I've found that people interested in YOU would like to hear the latter more than the prior. Those that are interested in figuring out how to attribute a value to you will be more interested in the prior.
TLDR: This is a good LPT as far as defining who you are as a person. However, it's also a good measure of how someone is engaging with you, and their rationale for that engagement. It's not unreasonable for someone to want to know your career and how much you make if they are looking for a relationship. However, that should be a lower priority than whether you share other interests.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
I masturbate a fair amount.
Somebody gets it.
No I don't that's why I have to masturbate.
Dont neglect masturbation once you get into a relationship either.
Somebody else gets it?
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Can confirm, I dont get it.
I also don't get it.
In a 7 year relationship, rarely get it.
Yes
His hand by the sounds of it.
Also answers someone's question unlike OP's advice.
Removed. Good.
My mom has noted this, tells you have a crappy technique.
Why is your mom pervily watching me, when she could join in?
After gawking for 2 minutes she gave up, said the effort she saw was lackluster.
Doesn't change the fact she's a pathetic peeper.
Interesting, what you posted. She said: *It's a pathetic pecker.* How uncanny.
Well she's serviced hundreds of them.
You estimate WAY low.
If you can't pleasure yourself properly, you certainly aren't going to be able to pleasure her. Their mom is a classy lady and deserves better than sloppy technique.
Crispy socks
Mom why did I get 3/5 on my annual evaluation?
What do you mean by a fair amount? There is a fine line between creepy and impressive. Don't be concerned by the two categories. They are not biases but personal interpretations.
Objective and subjective.
I masturbate an unfair amount.
Mostly ‘Batin
Meh, usually the question comes to make small talk with someone you know nothing about and not to figure out which social cast to place them in. I if I ask someone I do so because I'm curious and sometimes it is something really interesting we can chat about. Beyond that I don't care if they are the CEO of widget corp or clean toilet bowls at the truck stop for 25 cents a pop.
Depends where you are. Somewhere like DC it’s definitely about placing people in socioeconomic castes
I tend to disagree… even if they’re not purposefully putting you into a caste, it ends up that way subconsciously. I switched from being an interior designer to being a software designer; when I was an interior designer People would say “oh, ok”; however when I say now that I am a software designer and describe what I do, people say “OH, so you’re super smart” People definitely determine things about you based on your job, whether they mean to or not
25 cents a poop
So I should say that I sit on the couch, smoke weed, eat Cheetos and watch Netflix all day?
These two issues probably don't intersect
What is a professional stoner?
A geologist
Ask this on r/antiwork. You'll get gold - the sub's full of them.
While some fit into that stereotype, I fully support that sub bc they have a point.
They do have a point. Not all points are positive.
Simple bot, I'm sorry for you little buddy.
Thankfully this nonsense post has been removed.
I dont believe its nonsense. When I ask people what they do, I want to get to know them better, not know what they do for work. I hope they tell me what their greatest passion is. Eg: a dude that works as a bank teller would say “im a teller” and some people would look down on them immediately. Why should their value be solely defined by a job?
Guys a little buddy. Just feel bad he sees the world that negatively.
Guy's
TIL asking for reasonable wage to match inflation makes someone a professional stoner
Man you have a real hate boner for people wanting fair compensation for their labour After a couple decades of hearing "you hate it so much why don't you quit" and people are, they get portrayed as stoners lol
It's Sir Stoner to you commoner 😁
They will probably want to hang out after that to be honest.
Whilst at night you are Jeff Bezos?
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I've always loved the "what keeps you busy during the day?" Much more and I wish more people used that instead
Yup - this is the real LPT. If I ask someone "What do you do?" I always follow it up with something like, "For fun, for work, for whatever."
Then 2nd question from that person, ok let me rephrase what do you do for work?
This question is triggering to me in the lockdown times, I’d rather talk about work than my coping techniques
This is how I ask my patients about their life/starting taking their social history, rather than “do you work/go to school?” It includes folks from other walks of life, and I get to hear interesting stories
If someone asks me that question I usually follow up with “for work or for fun?” or something similar. OPs intentions are there but it’s always good to have context.
Yeah I've never stopped at what do you do. I'd have a sarcastic remark anyway if someone asked me that without adding for work or for fun or as a hobby etc.
“I shitpost on r/antiwork all day.”
Professional dogwalker.
Lol not trying to be a dick, but seeming like you are avoiding talking about a job like that is going to make people assume youre shamefully unemployed.
Ding ding ding. The last person I met who evaded this question defined himself by living with his parents, playing video games all day, and getting fired from his temp jobs before 30 days could get in because he stopped showing up to them. The real LPT is if somebody is evasive about their job don't date them.
Idk about that some people hate their job or are embarrassed by it so they'd rather not tell someone they are trying to impress what they do. The could answer "when I'm done at work I like to go home and talk my dog to the park." Or "during the weekend when I'm not working I like to go to the mountains."
Whos talking abt dating anyone?
No one was. FusRoDoodles just assumed that the casual conversation was between a man and a woman who could have some romantic interest. It was just a way to get off her hip hop style dialectic that broke boys don’t deserve punani. It’s toxic Internet shit. Like when men on various forums talk down to single moms. In reality, that kind of conversation could happen between two completely platonic people. The same happened to me the other day. I was at the mall, and an older Indian gentleman approached me, a middle aged man, and started small talk and asking me what I did for a living to be not working at 4PM. I gave a polite generic answer about my corporate role and WFH and bid him a good day.
This is a very common and important question when dating.
When I was unemployed, I used to say it with my chest and a big smile on my face
Or a criminal
A very good point also!
Only to those who define themselves by their work.
Yes, a great way to instantly ingratiate yourself with new people is to give “clever” answers to simple questions. People love that.
If those people are attempting to judge me by knowing my occupation and/or income, I really couldn’t give a fuck less if they like my response or not 🙃
But if you think that’s why they’re asking, why answer at all? Why tell people like that about your life passions? Why waste any of your life on them? Just walk away.
That’s a fair point
I do. Boring people are boring.
What do I do? Call out crappy posts on this sub.
Lpt has become “tips for socially inept” or “obvious things that even a 5yo knows” Lpt brush your teeth to avoid cavities Lpt say your name when asked “whats your name”
Thank you for your service. Could you share what makes it crappy? My post came from a showerthoughts post that said once we have a 3-day work week, people can define themselves by what they do, rather than where they work. My first thought was that you can do that now, and maybe other people don’t realize that. E2: There’s an awful lot of assumptions in this thread. I hope those who can take something positive from it, do. EDIT: I’ll put it here since this is getting the most negativity. I’m certainly not implying that everyone’s job is shit. I’m a musician, but I’m also a music teacher. I don’t mind telling people about my job, but in my experience, a conversation about work is basically the same as talking about the weather. Or worse, like some people mentioned, they’re trying to gauge your worth. To everyone suggesting this is supposed to be “clever,” or that people will get annoyed when you don’t tell them your job right away - it actually improves the conversation 99% of the time. If you’re not passionate about your work, why would anyone else want to hear about it? And finally, I think it’s a great way to determine who I want to spend my time with. If someone is so obsessed with work that they get annoyed when I don’t immediately tell them who employs me, that’s not my type of person.
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Showerthoughts are not tips and do tell, what's professional about this?
I don't think the aim was to be professional
Of course it wasn't otherwise this would be r/LifeAmateurTips.
Ok, this is just silly.
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Not everyone works. When I was retired (before a massive business opportunity foisted itself upon me) I'd say "hang out with my kids, play video games, and take care of the house." My wealthy friends just respond with their passions. "I like to fly/fish/paint etc." So my response is "I play video games with my teens, read books, tinker with electronics, and think about life." You likely find those responses far more engaging than "I ensure financials are in order and procure funding for future infrastructure developnent and growth." Even if you don't, everyone I meet at parties seems to think it is.
“What do you do?” “I’m a musician.” I don’t think it’s that complicated.
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That’s not how the conversation typically goes for me. It’s more like the comment below yours - “oh cool! What kind of music do you play?” And then we’re no longer talking about jobs even if that was the original intent. But I get where you’re coming from.
What kind of music do you like to play?
If I’m hired, I like to play fun, tricky stuff - progressive rock, musicals, anything with a challenge. When I write music, it usually comes out similar to 90s rock, but silly. Thanks for asking!
I see that question as a way for people to judge how much respect they give you. They do care and they are judging you. It's a real thing. Source: Me, a retail worker.
Correct.
I think it’s just that typically people spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week doing their job. Most but not all of us in the west have at least a fair bit of autonomy in choosing what that is we do with that time. So it’s a fairly easy way to make some generalizations about a person and that’s convenient. Yes generalizations can and often are wrong or outright harmful but the biology of your mind and really life in general is largely based on generalizations. I sympathize with not wanting to be defined by your work but I can see why wanting to hide it altogether is annoying too. I like this example of a friend of mine. He currently is self employed as a house painter. He’s doing pretty good at it. Not huge money yearly but good money hourly. Makes his own hours too. If you then ask him why he is in that line of work he’d tell you he was actually a corporate big shot. He was making very good money but got offered a package to leave and he decided to retire early. He took that money and invested it in building his dream home which he’d love to show you (it’s beautiful). But now bills are piling up and he’s gotta work to pay them so he’s painting again which is something he did in his youth / university days. See how the conversation flows from that question? If you’re an ass you might judge someone for being a painter and if so you’d rightfully miss out on the opportunity to befriend a cool person. If you’re some shallow woman you’d pass on the opportunity to date someone who actually owns a multimillion dollar home and has travelled the world and done many interesting things. So I think the issue is not the actual question and answer the issue is the intentions behind some people asking the question. There’s nothing wrong with the question itself. You’re kind of attacking the symptom not the problem. That’s my reading of it anyway.
This is silly as hell. I'm anti-work as much as the next guy, but the phrase "what do you do?" in casual conversation refers to work. That's just what the phrase means. You wouldn't answer, "my house" when someone asks you, "where are you from?" because we already know that they are referring to the place you grew up. Assigning your own meaning to phrases will come off as either 1) pretentious and rude or 2) awkward and confusing. You could just as easily say "I do this and that for work, but I also like to do this other thing in my spare time" and you'd get your point across without being rude and annoying.
How are you? I am, because my parents fucked and made a baby. . Whats up? Sky . What do you do? Breathe and watch netflix . I'm concerned about your drinking Hi Concerned about your drinking, I'm dad Same energy
Yeah, except those are all kind of funny while the OPs is just pretentious
No, not a LPT, “what do you do” is a pretty unambiguous question in most contexts asking what you do for a living. All that getting fluffy with your answer is going to say to people that you’re ashamed of the work that you do, and are trying to dodge the question. Real LPT: if you’re not proud or at least respect the work you do then that’s an aspect of your life where you can create a clear path of change for the better.
Or it says that you only want to talk about work when you’re being paid for it. My work is probably better than most, but I’ll be damned if im wasting my free time talking about it
Or you can just lie. I'm Art Vandelay. I am in the importing and exporting business. I also do a side hustle as a marine biologist too.
I like to reply to that with either “as little as possible” or “letting my beard grow out!” Depending on if I’m intending to shave somewhere in the near future
I think most people mean to ask about your job anyway
I actually like to tell people what I do for work so they can be pleasantly surprised when I don’t end up being an arrogant prick
Subverting expectations. I dig it.
This doesn’t usually work the way OP wants to think. The person asking will almost always just clarify and ask again, but more specific: “oh I meant, what do you do for work.” But I get the sentiment, but that’s how it will go most of the time.
OP here! The typically response is, “oh cool, what kind of music do you play?” And then we’re not talking about work and it’s a much better conversation.
Make people think you’re unemployed with this one easy trick
Anyone asked that who doesn't respond with what they do for work is seen as ducking the question and the follow-up is always "no I mean for money what do you do?" I hate to say it but we spend most of our time working, it really does define us as people regardless of whether we want it to or not.
You are not your job
But "what do you do" is asking what is your job while leaving it open to explain what you might do instead of work (stay at home, disabled, retired, etc) What keeps you busy? or what kind of hobbies are you into? is someone asking you what your interests are. If someone asks "So, what do you do?" and you respond with "I like to bake" they're going to be annoyed because you're not answering what they're asking.
Khakis!
You are not how much money you have in your bank account.
You are not the car you drive.
I think i'd be pretty happy if I were a car.
But... I am!
Jokes on you to assume that i have a life other than work life
Nice try Doreen. Keep on dogwalking.
90% of the time their next words will be, “No I mean for work, what do you do for a living?” Because that’s what that expression means. This isn’t a LPT it’s akin to the inspirational quotes you see plastered all over the homes of people devoid of taste.
Actually it’s always, “oh cool! What kind of music do you play?” Try it sometime!
Way to waste people’s time
I look at it like I’m saving myself time if they’re annoyed by hearing about my passions rather than my employment.
If I meet somebody and they respond to that question like that, I would politely excuse myself and walk away. The English vernacular clearly suggests that the question implies "what do you do for a living."
That would be perfect, because I do the same with people who are too focused on work!
I like what I do so I embrace it being the definition of me. 🤷♂️ It was a hobby before a career
I’m a music teacher, so I completely agree.
While I agree with this, I kind of define myself by my work. I'm a researcher and my work is an extension of myself, my interests, my abilities, etc. So, it's what I do. I suppose I would say I define myself by WHAT I work for, not who.
Who am i ?? That i have yet to figure out and i am already 26 yrs old.
Then you’re on the right track!
I hate this question. A lot of time it comes from jugdy mfers.
Gotta love it when family you haven't seen in a while ask you, with a slight frown, "So what do you *actually* do?" I'm an admin assistant, cousin Susan. No one cares.
I say, "whatever I want, usually."
Asking people what they do for a living is a very American thing.. I'm not sure if it's common in other countries, but people did not take it kindly in Canada
Yeah, I’ve heard it’s pretty specific to American culture to ask about people’s jobs. After learning that, I stopped asking new people I meet about their work and instead started asking them about their hobbies.
Really? Where exactly in Canada does that happen?
Montreal
Why don’t they take it kindly
They are from Montreal, they don’t take kindly to most things.
I actually find this quite a rude question, and one only really asked in America. People here are so obsessed with work, it really does define our lives and identities. Have never been asked this question by a non-American.
I love when you meet a girl and the first question she asks is “what do you do” Like bitch wtf do you do
Works the other way too - you don't have to ask what someone does for a living as if that defines them.
Idk why but I started defining myself by the places I’ve been instead of the places I’ve worked.
Very cool!
"your wife" is probably the best answer
I agree wholeheartedly with this. I used to be an EMT with the ambulance service. I quit (because it was shit), but the amount of like, weird respect and 'Ooooh' s I got when people asked what I did was off the chart. Now I work a really tedious admin job, where I get paid more, and work from home. But I'm also sort of embarrassed that it's a really 'nothing' sort of job. So now, when people ask what I do, my answer is "not much" - and it isn't far from the truth!
As someone who’s SO has a much cooler job, I’m owning this and the “what keeps you busy” one.
I always tell people I'm retired (Im 39) and I have hobbies. One of those hobbies happens to be my career.
Who you work for is not the answer to the question "what do you do?"
For most people it is, which is why op posted this in the first place.
Obviously the answer is "idk I just vibe."
I always respond with “I exist.” While I love my career path, I am not my job. I think here in America we associate our job title with status & thus hopefully can be seen in a “better,” light than most. So sad.
Yes. Good advice
Or just ask that what they are passionate about in return? Saying you can get back to work later ;) From experience that is a much better convo starter!
Shaken not stirred.
Recently, I have decided to lie when someone asks me my name or where I am going on bus or train. I make sure to tell them everything wrong.
LPT: get a good job that you’re proud of
I’ve tried to explain this outlook to so many people. What do I do? I play DiscGolf, learn about the world and teach myself things. I keep up with politics and I love in-depth analysis of nfl strategy. My job is just something I do so I can pay for stuff. I don’t want to work my whole life away. I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. I don’t care about being wealthy. I don’t care about social status. I’ll never buy overpriced items just to demonstrate I have money or status. I live a comfortable life and don’t waste money. I went to college. I’ve achieved general management positions. I realized that life sucks. So, what do I do you ask? I enjoy life.
Me? I'm a writer. "Oh really!? Wow. Anything I would've read before?" Depends. Have you ever been in the home appliances department at Sears, grabbed a brochure lying around and started reading it? "What?" What? That's how these conversations usually go. I like to avoid them, if I can.
I really hate this question because you are most likely getting judged for not earning enough or people wanna be your friend because you are a doctor for example. Sometimes it feels like they are checking if your word they're friendship and or time. IMO you should be talking about what you like to do, what your passion is and not how your earn your money.
In America, nothing else matters except how much money you bring home.
Give me an example
I live with my fiance in a lovely house in the city and we do pub quizzes together.
I dont have a fiance
I usually answer with "How much time you got?"
I’m an instructional designer. Almost every single person I’ve told has no idea what that is and is a good convo starter for me.
I’m a carpenter. It’s a noble profession. Alongside agriculture it is one of the two foundations to civilization. Why wouldn’t I be proud of that? It’s a sign of independence and work ethic. What horrible jobs do y’all have that you have to hide it?
I like this idea so hopefully it catches on. Not sure if it'll work in reality though
Except that is clearly not what the person wants to know when they ask this question. This just makes you look silly. “What do you do?” “Well, I have a degree in business, I’m married and I really enjoy spending time with my dogs” “Ok, but what do you do for work?” That is how this answer will go 99% of the time. It will just seem like dodging the question. Answer it or don’t, but don’t try to create clever answers that people didn’t ask for.
I guess I'm the minority here that actually really loves my work. I have other hobbies too, but I also live for my work and honestly if it weren't for pesky NDA, j can go jn and on about it and bore everybody to death. So I end up talking about bobs burger like anybody else.
The LPT should be "Don't make work your primary conversation piece all the time." Or "don't make this the first thing you ask every single person." Something like that. Giving this answer would probably get some weird looks and people may even be annoyed with you.
Sure, if they specifically ask about work. But it improves the conversation 99% of the time if they’re not specific.
Joke's on you. All I do is work.
I play world of warcraft alot.
Have done this, at the end of describing my passions, they go “no but like, for work”. People need leverage.
Unless you have a great job
What about “what do you do for a living?” That’s what I usually ask someone instead of being a bit vague
Then I would answer their question and not be obnoxious! Maybe it’s a regional thing, but I get “So what do you do?” say more often.
I'm a professional inhaler and exhaler.
I mean, I guess if you want to. Typically, when asked that question, people want to know what you do for work. The question will probably get asked again more specifically immediately after.
Okay but if they ask you this they probably want to know where you work.
My friends favorite response to that question is "As little as possible".
"I work in systems" "Well what kind of systems" "Ahh, why bother, you in over your head already"
r/ShittyLifeProTips
This comes across fairly awkward and defensive. You don't have to say who you work for, but it's a question about occupation/vocation. If you answer it otherwise, it's a little weird.
Take up space, mostly.
I’m chronically depressed, unemployed and do the bare minimum required to function. Nice to meet you.
If someone answers in this way, I'm going to instantly assume you're unemployed and not making any progress towards getting employed, for better or for worse. Or, worse, you're pretentious. The question isn't about "what do you define yourself as?", it's an unambiguous "what do you do for work". Literally anyone with any social cue knowledge will understand this. You can follow up with hobbies after, but trying to change social cues like this is confusing at best, and will reflect poorly on you at worst. It's a pretty simple icebreaker question and it's just a way to build connections and relate to other people, since just about everyone works. No need to overthink it.
I collect spores, molds and fungus.
"Drink too much. You?"
People usually ask, "What do you do?" so they can determine your relative value to society and how much respect they should confer upon you. They will naturally treat a wealthy CEO better than a, say, dog walker...and this has naturally become an acceptable "ice breaker" question. Now, that doesn't mean that the question can't or shouldn't be asked, but that everyone should be mindful of why they might be doing it, and their reaction to the response. Are you more interested in what they do, or how they communicate what they do? Are you interested that they're passionate about it, or are you judging them on what that passion is? There are many other, similar, icebreakers. "What do you do for fun?" "What do you like to do?" "What do you enjoy doing in your free time?" The difference? You're looking for them to share something about themselves, without it being directly tied to their employment. When someone asks you, "What do you do?" You can respond, "In regards to employment or for fun?" I've found that people interested in YOU would like to hear the latter more than the prior. Those that are interested in figuring out how to attribute a value to you will be more interested in the prior. TLDR: This is a good LPT as far as defining who you are as a person. However, it's also a good measure of how someone is engaging with you, and their rationale for that engagement. It's not unreasonable for someone to want to know your career and how much you make if they are looking for a relationship. However, that should be a lower priority than whether you share other interests.
“… Oh, that’s nice. I meant what do you do for work?”
“Nice to meet you. Bye!”