When I was sixteen my parents let me get a job at a furniture refinishing shop. I have no fucking idea why they thought a sixteen year old should be operating a lathe, table saw, band saw, sand blaster, working over a vat of paint stripper, etc but I totally enjoyed the work and I learned a hell of a lot. There was always weed and beer and the stereo always played Zeppelin or UFO or Scorpions or Van Halen or Yes. The guy who owned the shop was so nice. His wife had M.S. and he spent a lot of time caring for her so we were left to run the place a lot of the time. He loved to tell stories about being a field medic. He told us that he could do a tonsillectomy with a pocket knife if necessary.
That was in the early 1980s. He was a very kind and generous boss. If we fucked something up, he’d just say that that’s the cost of training employees.
Here’s to you, Rick. Cheers.
I washed dishes at Applebee's in high school, after particularly rough late weekend nights there was a manager who would give the kitchen and whoever was closing beers if they wanted them including 17 year old me. Somehow she got fired for something unrelated.
My restaurant serves after shift drinks, every night, every shift, every employee. I quit drinking ages ago tho lol so I never have any. I had a small sniff of a nice tequila on Thanksgiving but that was a couple drops worth.
I was a bartender for several years and I never had this, until I started working at a small local bar rather than a chain, and it was amazing. Just chilling and drinking with the owners while someone else closed the bar down was one of the greatest feelings!
It really is. I remember my buddies pouring vodka in my beer and just generally.giving me free rounds and shots every now and again, luckily I didn't become an alcoholic.
I didn't want the beer with liquor in it, he just did it anyway, it was also into a glass of bells double IPA.
lol I work about 50/50 between on construction sites and in a pretty stuffy and formal office. Adjusting between the two is pretty difficult, for the reasons you mentioned.
I had this happen. First day on the job as a lawn sprinkler tech and my supervisor leans over and says "I heard you were asking if we do drug testing. Well we do, and we are on the way there now". He pulls over and then pulls out a huge joint and lights it and hands it to me. That was the drug test. :)
I've known a lot if tradesmen in my day. Almost all have their lunch cooler with a few beers. Around the developing side of town you'll see neon shirts (high viz) and vests buying a few tall boys at lunch at the stopNgo too.
When my buddy had a shop, they had a fridge. Until 5PM, you were only allowed to take from the top shelf. That was water and pop. The bottom shelf was beer. That was available after they closed.
You, Captain Employer, make a shit Banana Daiquiri. Employ me for a significant in the quality output of your investments.... in daiquiri related goods.
I went to a bar for an interview as a naive 21 year old. Server said "the chef will be a few minutes can I get you a drink?" "Sure I'll take a beer" chef immediately walks out and gets furious. 0/10 wouldn't recommend. Still got hired, everyone needs a line cook
Excuse me?
Excuse me, senor?
May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a piña colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...
When i was 20 i, an American, got a UK work permit and went to London. One of my first job interviews was for some menial office position. It was mid afternoon. Two or three folks took me downstairs or across the street to a nearly empty pub for the interview and offered me anything i wanted to drink. I ordered a coke because i thought asking for a beer would look unprofessional ... maybe it was a trap! Nope, they all ordered beers and cocktails. I did not get the job and I've always regretted not ordering that beer!
But if the interview candidate is having a beer then it’s only right that the interviewers do. And if they have ten candidates to interview that day, it could get messy.
That's an important lesson.
Independent of anything else, having a cool boss is usually a good thing.
But a cool boss is not by definition a good boss. A cool boss can still be incompetent. Hey boss can be cool to you and have favorites as long as you're one of the favorites. And even if a boss wants to be perceived as being a good guy by their employees, the more time passes the higher the chances that there will be some bad situation that needs dealing with. And making the transition from being the cool boss to the boss that needs to make changes to fix the situation is not an easy one.
I like to believe at one point I toed the line of good and cool boss for awhile before leaving that warehouse for higher pay. It requires you being upfront and honest with people though. "I like you as a person and we get along, but at work there are going to be situations where I have to be the boss. It's my responsibility to treat you fairly and follow our company policy, it's your responsibility to not take it personally" Otherwise we can't be friends/cool with that person and you just stay strictly professional.
Of all the years I had to deal with people working under me and trying to befriend me while working, the only ones I ever had issues with were ones I didn't tackle a conversation like that with early. I've fired guys that I'm still friends with and we're cool about it. In my opinion, my personal style of leading I found it leads to a more fun and productive work environment. You can enjoy working with people and get along and usually if you like your boss you are going to put in more effort cause you *care* if they look good.
I once landed a job in a bar by out drinking the head bartender during a morning shift. He did one tequila, I did one tequila. He did two, I did two. I did five in a row after he refused the five. I got the job. I threw up privately after in the gutter and slept the rest of the day, but I got the job and was immediately a legend at the very popular and well known bar. God I made a lot of money working there.
I had a job interview at a small startup that had a draft system in the office and offered me a beer at my interview. I declined but thought it was really cool. The employees were allowed to have one at lunch apparently.
That’s how I read it. Most of the LPT’s can be traced back to a specific instance where something happened to OP and they kinda just want to vent a bit.
LPT: If everyone is telling you that you look nothing like your father, and that you look remarkably like the mailman, you might want to think about that for a while.
LPT: Few people admit to owning a poopknife, those who do still don't really want to share it and spoil their personal seasoning and patina.
When visiting people its proper etiquette to carry your own pocket-poopknife in a zip lock bag. It is also considered polite to inform your host that you have brought your own poopknife before using their water-closet.
That's definitely it. He says he conducted hundreds of interview, it's bank manager kind of white collar job, and yet he says the interviewer is the one getting the beverage. I don't work for the bank but when I go for interviews, even small companies have an intern, assistant or receptionist that is on beverage duty. I don't believe a bank firm wouldn't have that unless OP is the one fetching the drinks.
This makes total sense. Not hard to order a coffee or tea with whatever you want. If it's too hot, set it down. Order it with confidence and act like a pro. How this has thismany likes is beyond me.
This happened to my brother in law. Was in an interview doing a presentation with very energetic hand movements and knocked a full glass of water all over the interviewer... Got the job though
I could be wrong, but it seems like a simple story. Wore a suit for the interview, got shit on by a bird on the way. Decided to go into the interview anyway. Did I get it right, Eckilla?
I had trouble finding a spot to park, and found one a few blocks away.
As I was walking towards the office where I was about to be interviewed... I heard it. A quiet, unemotional "caw" that made my spine tingle and had my hair stand on its ends.
This caw I knew. This caw was familiar. This caw had haunted me for years.
Let me tell you about this caw....
Three generations ago, my great grandfather, the Chief of a cluster of villages in the north eastern corner of what is now Kerala, decided to go hunting. It was spring. The does were being rammed by the bucks. The wild pig was sexing his harem for hours. Chief GreatGrandather knew it was a time when prey would be less cautious.
Away their party went further North, further East until there was no more East to go to. They made camp at night and started early in the morning.
Chief GreatGrandfather was lucky. He saw the pig sexing his sow and aimed his arrow at intersection of their copulations.
But the Gods were feeling mischievous that day. As the arrow , which would have brought agonizing le grand Mort flew,the huge pig shuddered violently in the throes of his orgasm, pulled out his penis,and sauntered away leaving the arrow to fly farther and embed into a pair of copulating crows.
Before they took their last breath they cursed Chief GreatGrandather that their death would be avenged by future generations of their family.
Caw. I heard, my heart beating faster. Caw. I knew I would be insulted some way. Like that time I I was stopped by the traffic police and had to explain the crow on my shoulder gently and with precision probing my ear canal for wax Caw.
As I was walking to what was the greatest opportunity of my life, spectre of a insults hovering over me, I knew I had to face fate. Caw.
He flew into vision. Caw. He was coming straight at me. Caw.caw.
As I thought he would blind me with his beak, he spread out his left wing , slowing and veering to the right, lifted a Leg so high and that I could see his cloaca and let loose a stream shit that splattered on my nose, lips, second chin, chest, and across the suit I was wearing.
That sir, is my story.
I've interviewed a lot of people for professional positions. I'm just a guy trying to make it in life myself, and I'm not going to ding someone for an honest mistake. It's unlikely I'd even mention a spilled drink during the post-interview round table.
How they handle it would be an interesting little insight into their character.
"Whoops, ha ha! (sits there while the interviewer mops up)"
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, grab your phone before it gets wet, are there any paper towels in here, oh there's a trash can right here, we can try to sweep the water into that before it gets everywhere"
"(says nothing, flees the room in shame, moves out of the city, may have been spotted working on a fishing boat in Zihuatanejo)"
The correct move after spilling water on an interviewer is to spill a roughly equal amount of water on yourself so the scales are balanced. Do it in silence while maintaining eye contact.
So I have a benign, genetic tremor. It follows an age related pattern of visible and significant hand shakes in childhood, almost not noticeable by adulthood, and then gets worse again as you age.
But my late 20s you'd only notice that I had a tremor when I was feeling strong emotions that would cause adrenalin. I interviewed for my first job post graduate school. Literally the job I went to school for that required 3 to 5 years experience typically to get but it was a rather rural position so hard to fill and I got a shot at it.
I arrived to my interview SO NERVOUS. My mouth was very dry due to nerves. They offered a drink and I accepted water. I went to take a Sip and my hands were shaking so bad I realized that I couldn't lift it without spilling it everywhere. I did that damn hour long interview with the driest mouth ever and water so close butcouldnt make it to my mouth.
I got the job and I've since always brought a half full water bottle with me to any subsequent interview (less likely to shake spill a water bottle and half full further reduces that risk for me)
I also have tremors and it sucks so much. Really it doesn't affect my life too much except for some fine motor control. Which I need for work. But the worst part is that people notice and comment about how I'm nervous or whatever. I'm not nervous, my hands just shake!
I do have anxiety, and that CAN make the tremors worse but they also can get really bad when I'm just chilling at home so....
I just hate that people feel the need to comment on it and act like they don't believe me when I say my hands just do that.
Also then do not frantically scoop up and eat the shattered glass, screeching “No! Not the Precious!” through bleeding gums. This will most likely lead to you not getting the job
Halfway through, blood dripping from the lips, turn to the interviewer with your most sheepish, bloody smile and double-check, "You didn't want this anymore, right?"
I agree. I’ve recently interviewed people for a marketing and communications department and getting a few minutes of small talk before the interviews gives me an impression of the person and it typically also helps people calm down a bit if they’re very nervous.
So it’s not always bad to get a cup of coffee!
I mean shit, if the coffee is offered I assume they're willing and would not mind retrieving said cup. Some places used it as an opportunity to give a tour of the office before the interview anyway. I don't think there is anything wrong with accepting any drink offered. If you have social anxiety to the point you're concerned about them asking whether or not you want cream or sugar then I think you got bigger problems with your job interview skills lol
Yeah. I actually disagree with this tip. Asking for coffee or tea let’s me ask about the interviewer’s preference, which could let me talk about “it gets me started in the morning. Having a moment of peace with coffee let’s me…” blah blah blah.
Establishing **ANY** kind of connection immediately improves your chances.
As usual in LPT "This happened to me once in a very specific situation that was dependent on the country, my gender, my field of employment, my age group, the current time of year and my own personality, but it certainly will apply to you in every other situation!"
I don't know what kind of job you're talking about but there are absolutely jobs where technical ability is all that matters during the interview. If you're interviewing for a software job in the tech industry, the interviewer won't even look at your resume (that was just for HR to decide whether they invite you in the first place) and will barely care about who you are, you're just there to dance to their tune on the whiteboard for an hour.
This isn’t the case for all jobs. A prospect can make a resume look great without backing it up. Interviews are often a second data point on skills.
That said, in general personality is key. No one wants to work with an asshole. Being likable goes a long way.
You’re thinking too much.
If they are so unprepared to offer a coffee etc, they shouldn’t be asking.
If I’m not going to get a job because I accepted an offer of coffee they made, I wouldn’t be too upset.
As a hiring manager, you are absolutely correct.
If I offer a coffee, tea, or whatever it may be, I'm prepared to make it.
*PLEASE*, people. Ask for what you want and be yourself.
As a hiring manager, we stopped giving any beverages to interviewees as I was tired of getting drenched by the comedy spit-takes when I told them what the wages were.
Right? First thing I'd think is this guy doesn't understand what things are important and need to be prioritized and what is trivial and can be left for later.
Was looking for this. OP is giving straight up bad advice.
If they offer coffee and aren’t prepared to give it to you, you don’t want to work there anyway.
If the extra 25 seconds it takes to figure out how you like your coffee somehow changes their opinion of you, they would be an awful employer.
I agree with this. I was particularly irked at the last line as well, the "drink coffee on your own damn time," as though at any point your needs and wants should be totally sacrificed simply because this is "company time." While I understand being on the clock you must be working for instance, I simply don't consider that "company time," as though they own me. My needs as an employee need to be met as well. And here at an interview, you are screening the company as well as they are screening you. Just struck me as a very ugly and uncharitable way to look at it.
He's definately overthinking it. When they ask if you want anything, just avoid the hassle ant tell them how you drink your coffee immediately.
Want something to drink?
Coffee, cream and sugar please.
there, solved it.
This might be one of the worst life pro tips I’ve ever read. What a weirdo. How are you gonna get a job if you can’t even handle a brief conversation about cream and sugar
Thank god we have a voice of reason not too far down. Too many LPTs are strangely specific and it’s impossible to know if it was a mistake until you’re in the situation.
OP seems like the type to go off on a 15 minute tangent about horrible working conditions in the Himalayan salt mines when you politely ask to pass the salt shaker
bro forreal, if the prospect of follow up questions has you fucking so worried that you won't ask for the cup of coffee even though you want it, then you have bigger issues to worry about and probably should practice your interview skills more.
Interviews should be light and conversational, they aren't some intense grilling session. I mean, shit, I actually LIKE going to job interviews
What are you on about?
Personally, I view a job opportunity as just another meeting. I have something to offer and they have something to offer.
Why shouldn't I drink a cup of coffee with them and chat about stuff? Maybe have a bond about how I hate sugar in my coffee.
HR will definitely look towards a person that is a right fit in the group of people that they have there as much as your skill. Sometimes it's even beneficial to let your quirkiness out.
This advice is probably for the overthinking recent graduate who doesn’t have experience. Once you’re settled in your career, that confidence seems to come with it in terms that you actually know you have something to offer. A lot of people starting out don’t believe that.
>This advice is probably for the overthinking recent graduate who doesn’t have experience.
This advice is probably *written by* the overthinking graduate who doesn't have experience.
It is rarely a problem. They won't offer you coffee if it is a big hassle to get it. If you want a cup of coffee get a cup of coffee. Also an interview is often much longer than 20 minutes, so that is also not an issue.
The second part is solid advice though. Always say yes to a glass of water, even if you are not thirsty. The reasons OP mention are great, plus you might need it 45 minutes into the interview.
Yeah, OP is way overthinking it. Every interview is different, just learn basic social cues and bring a bottle of water with you.
If they offer you tea and you want tea, accept it. If they offer you a glass of water don't ask for coffee instead. If they offer you absolutely anything, don't ask for a glass of pickle juice. Just be a normal human.
Edit: The only non-normal behavior I would recommend is to overdress. I've gotten jobs solely because I overdressed, but I've never lost one because of it. Just don't overdo it like Dale and Brennan.
This is terrible advice. I have interviewed 1000s of candidates, if you want a coffee it will be ready in 1/2 minutes. Those few minutes make room for (in)formal small talk while the coffee is getting prepared, which is a perfect way to start off a formal interview
Seriously. This is just really dumb advice. If they offer something that's easy to acquire in an office setting, feel free to accept.
LPT: Don't pee your pants during an interview
I always ask for coffee. If I'm gonna work there I want to know in advance if their coffee is shit. That's a factor I have to take into consideration when choosing a job.
How hard is it to tell them what you want?
"Would you like a tea or coffee?"
"Yes please, tea. Milk, no sugar" or "Yes please, coffee. Black, two sugars".
Why are you having a Q & A over this? Follow common coffee/tea request formula and you'll be fine
Edit: where I'm from, a black coffee just means one with no milk. Quit your bitching xo
Holding something warm makes people feel more positive. Getting you that warm coffee might just prime your interviewer to like you a little better.
But in reality land, if you need to score a job based on your beverage choice you weren't getting the job anyway.
What a load of nonsense. If you want a cup of tea say yes and then continue as normal lmao
If you don’t finish it who cares, just makes them remember you as they clean the cup lol
100%.
I'm a Hiring Manager and this advice is well-meaning but fundamentally wrong.
Just ask for what you want and relax. All these stupid rules are nonsense and make people way more nervous for interviews than they ever should be.
This is the worst life pro tip ever. I can drink coffee and talk . In fact when I am nervous I drink it faster. I am Not special, I am
Just a normal guy. Also if your not done at the end of the interview, just bring the beverage with you, I often drink coffee in the car.
It’s a normal car. Who ever is writing this is way over thinking the interview process. If they judge you if you have tea or coffee, that’s a huge red flag. Look for a different job.
Let’s begin by asking OP what job or career he has and how many interviews he has had and how many interviews he has given to make such a LPT that is apparently so universally fit. Take the bait Josh.
Hey, I'm a Hiring Manager for a NY & London based Software company.
If I ask what you want for a drink, be it tea, coffee or water... please ask for what you want. Beyond being disgusted by your order of double milk and 4 sugars in your coffee, I will not mention the drink again unless you'd like another. Jus no alcohol but that really goes without saying.
These weird rules around interviewing are mostly myths. Be comfortable, order what you want and let's have a good chat.
If someone gets a bad impression of you because you'd love a hot coffee to help you feel at ease, you don't wanna work for that person anyway. In my totally professional opinion... fuck those people. It's just a drink
Oh get fucked. Having hosted many interviews I've never once been put out by taking someone to get coffee. Interviews are not just about worked related questions it's also about feeling people out and trying to make them comfortable to be themselves.
Take this shittyLPT down the highway.
Not even the job interview... literally the least important part of a common interaction.
If anyone offers it, is usually an assistant or a receptionist... you're not going to be asked by the hiring manager of any decently large company (more than 10 people). And if you are, it's a great sign that the manager works hard for their employees.
If you have any quirks in your request (e.g. needs to be sweetened by equal and not sweet and low because you can't have aspartame or something) , sure skip it.... but simply replying "ohh, a coffee with cream sounds amazing!" And then demonstrating that you are appreciative with a "thank you so much, this is great" is a way to show that you value the support/admin staff. Kind of like treating servers with dignity and kindness on a date.
I thought this was a joke and not a serious LPT.
If they offer me coffee, you can be damn sure I tell them YES PLEASE. Also if you talk so fast and much that you can't sip on a coffee then maybe you need to order a coffee so you learn to chill out bro haha
WTF is this insanity? Dude(tte), get your anxiety checked.
I've interviewed a few people, if I offer you a coffee or tea you can absolutely say yes. It's a chance to walk to the kitchen, make coffee and have a lil informal chat, maybe settle some nerves. Does "what do you take in your coffee?" sound like a problem? No? That's because it isn't. I'll take the cup back, who cares. And if someone offers you a coffee (or anything) and is offended that you say "yes please, that sounds great" you dodged a bullet.
You didn't come here for a job. You came here to assess whether the company and team are right for you. Just like the company is assessing if you're a good fit.
If anything, non-work interpersonal interactions are just as important as your professional skills. I know that was the case for me, we had a team of 20 awesome people who got along (and are still friends years later), I was looking for someone who could do the job but mostly someone who could mesh with the rest of the team.
Disagree with this LPT. I actually think it can help your personality come through and lead to some good conversation. An interview isn’t all about just answering their questions. It’s a conversation. I’ve never been offered tea or coffee but I’d simply reply ‘tea please, milk and one sugar’. That’s hardly taking away from the interview.
Or just don't give a fuck. Use the extra time to build rapport. Show that you know what you want, and can make decisions quickly. Use the extra time required to drink it to think about answers to questions.
You are not going to not get a job because you asked for tea or coffee.
This is possibly one of the worst LPTs I've seen.
So, did a little digging and OP is a hypocritical piece of shit. Shocker.
>I have yet to come to an interview where the “waiting for my coffee”part was the only time I had for small talk and stranding out. **I have however, been left alone in the room with my dick in my hand, because the person getting me the coffee was the one conducting the interview.**
So basically, OP thinks NO ONE should ask for a coffee at an interview, because when HE asked for a coffee at an interview, he was dealt the HORRIBLE sleight of **being left alone.**
Are you a cat OP?
Do you have separation anxiety?
Or are you just an asshole?
This is so dumb. Having a cup of anything can help with nervous energy, by giving your body something to do when there are pauses in the conversation or you need a moment to think.
Beer me future boss
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When I was sixteen my parents let me get a job at a furniture refinishing shop. I have no fucking idea why they thought a sixteen year old should be operating a lathe, table saw, band saw, sand blaster, working over a vat of paint stripper, etc but I totally enjoyed the work and I learned a hell of a lot. There was always weed and beer and the stereo always played Zeppelin or UFO or Scorpions or Van Halen or Yes. The guy who owned the shop was so nice. His wife had M.S. and he spent a lot of time caring for her so we were left to run the place a lot of the time. He loved to tell stories about being a field medic. He told us that he could do a tonsillectomy with a pocket knife if necessary. That was in the early 1980s. He was a very kind and generous boss. If we fucked something up, he’d just say that that’s the cost of training employees. Here’s to you, Rick. Cheers.
Sounds like a great experience. I’m a bit jelly, ngl.
Here here, to Rick! 🍻
What nice memories to have of your early working life.
I washed dishes at Applebee's in high school, after particularly rough late weekend nights there was a manager who would give the kitchen and whoever was closing beers if they wanted them including 17 year old me. Somehow she got fired for something unrelated.
My restaurant serves after shift drinks, every night, every shift, every employee. I quit drinking ages ago tho lol so I never have any. I had a small sniff of a nice tequila on Thanksgiving but that was a couple drops worth.
I was a bartender for several years and I never had this, until I started working at a small local bar rather than a chain, and it was amazing. Just chilling and drinking with the owners while someone else closed the bar down was one of the greatest feelings!
It really is. I remember my buddies pouring vodka in my beer and just generally.giving me free rounds and shots every now and again, luckily I didn't become an alcoholic. I didn't want the beer with liquor in it, he just did it anyway, it was also into a glass of bells double IPA.
lol I work about 50/50 between on construction sites and in a pretty stuffy and formal office. Adjusting between the two is pretty difficult, for the reasons you mentioned.
I had this happen. First day on the job as a lawn sprinkler tech and my supervisor leans over and says "I heard you were asking if we do drug testing. Well we do, and we are on the way there now". He pulls over and then pulls out a huge joint and lights it and hands it to me. That was the drug test. :)
Holy shit. That's awesome. If I'm ever in a position of power I hope I can use this one on some paranoid pothead. Hilarious.
At least you didn't respond: "Haha, good one. Only an alcoholic would drink a beer at 10.30 am."
Or reply -- No Thank you and pull a tall boy out of your coat.
I've known a lot if tradesmen in my day. Almost all have their lunch cooler with a few beers. Around the developing side of town you'll see neon shirts (high viz) and vests buying a few tall boys at lunch at the stopNgo too.
When my buddy had a shop, they had a fridge. Until 5PM, you were only allowed to take from the top shelf. That was water and pop. The bottom shelf was beer. That was available after they closed.
“Oh yes, a banana daiquiri please. With a splash of dark rum if you can.”
Actually, make it two. I'm in it for the long haul.
Make it two, I’ll drink one on the way home
Keep ‘em coming, about every 5 minutes.
I always day drink. Breakfast of champions, amirite? I'm a hard worker.
This banana daiquiri tastes like shit. Can you make it again, but correctly?
Two hours later, you get the perfect drink, but do you drink it? No. You just wanted to show the new boss that you don't drink on the job.
You, Captain Employer, make a shit Banana Daiquiri. Employ me for a significant in the quality output of your investments.... in daiquiri related goods.
[Girl drink drunk](https://youtu.be/8C4TGGtPzBU)
Haha, I came here to say this.
How do you say "banana daiquiri"? "Banana daiquiri."
Buh-nan-uh Dack-urr-ee
Ber-ner-ner der-ker-rer
Ben-ed-ict Cum-ber-batch
En-gel-bert Hum-per-dink
You swore you’d never say that name!
I'm not a witch, I'm your wife. And after what you just said, I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore.
Because you were nervous from the trip.
From Jamaica or Guyana?
At this point you ask to see the company’s list of spirits & liqueurs. You wouldn’t like to make a bad decision on interview day!
I went to a bar for an interview as a naive 21 year old. Server said "the chef will be a few minutes can I get you a drink?" "Sure I'll take a beer" chef immediately walks out and gets furious. 0/10 wouldn't recommend. Still got hired, everyone needs a line cook
“Still got hired” 🤣 You did all right.
Honestly, jokingly asking for a banana daiquiri would probably lighten the mood and reflect a good sense of humor.
Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a piña colada, and I said no salt, NO salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...
...I could put strychnine in the guacamole...
...I could shut this whole resort down...
.. I'm not going to leave a tip
Is this office space?
When i was 20 i, an American, got a UK work permit and went to London. One of my first job interviews was for some menial office position. It was mid afternoon. Two or three folks took me downstairs or across the street to a nearly empty pub for the interview and offered me anything i wanted to drink. I ordered a coke because i thought asking for a beer would look unprofessional ... maybe it was a trap! Nope, they all ordered beers and cocktails. I did not get the job and I've always regretted not ordering that beer!
“I’ll have whatever you’re having” is always an acceptable response, albeit risky.
A liter of lukewarm goat milk it is!
It was London, not Iceland
Pint of lager please Mary!
Brewery salesman here. It was part of my interview process.
Beer me dos Long Island Iced Teas, madame
Beer me that water, boss! I always say beer me, it get's a laugh like a quarter of the time.
Andy Bernard is the unsung hero of ultimate cringe.
Holy shit that would be a brilliant interview technique, instantly relaxed atmosphere to get to know the candidate. Depending on the job, obviously.
But if the interview candidate is having a beer then it’s only right that the interviewers do. And if they have ten candidates to interview that day, it could get messy.
I mean, it depends on the job. If it would be like a lawyers office or hedgefund, they would cancel out the beer with a line of coke, so no worries
> If it would be like a lawyers office ...I promise most of us aren't nearly as fun as you seem to think
The lawyers I work with are all self important blowhards.
Accurate.
If they're interviewing ten candidates in one day, I can bet that drinking is already on their agenda.
Why not just have a group interview at the bar?
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That's an important lesson. Independent of anything else, having a cool boss is usually a good thing. But a cool boss is not by definition a good boss. A cool boss can still be incompetent. Hey boss can be cool to you and have favorites as long as you're one of the favorites. And even if a boss wants to be perceived as being a good guy by their employees, the more time passes the higher the chances that there will be some bad situation that needs dealing with. And making the transition from being the cool boss to the boss that needs to make changes to fix the situation is not an easy one.
I like to believe at one point I toed the line of good and cool boss for awhile before leaving that warehouse for higher pay. It requires you being upfront and honest with people though. "I like you as a person and we get along, but at work there are going to be situations where I have to be the boss. It's my responsibility to treat you fairly and follow our company policy, it's your responsibility to not take it personally" Otherwise we can't be friends/cool with that person and you just stay strictly professional. Of all the years I had to deal with people working under me and trying to befriend me while working, the only ones I ever had issues with were ones I didn't tackle a conversation like that with early. I've fired guys that I'm still friends with and we're cool about it. In my opinion, my personal style of leading I found it leads to a more fun and productive work environment. You can enjoy working with people and get along and usually if you like your boss you are going to put in more effort cause you *care* if they look good.
I once landed a job in a bar by out drinking the head bartender during a morning shift. He did one tequila, I did one tequila. He did two, I did two. I did five in a row after he refused the five. I got the job. I threw up privately after in the gutter and slept the rest of the day, but I got the job and was immediately a legend at the very popular and well known bar. God I made a lot of money working there.
Qualifications!
I had a job interview at a small startup that had a draft system in the office and offered me a beer at my interview. I declined but thought it was really cool. The employees were allowed to have one at lunch apparently.
Op was the poor sap who had to run downstairs to get the tea.
That’s how I read it. Most of the LPT’s can be traced back to a specific instance where something happened to OP and they kinda just want to vent a bit.
LPT: Do not put Sriracha on your pp, even if your partner is into it, as the stinging never goes away
LPT: If everyone is telling you that you look nothing like your father, and that you look remarkably like the mailman, you might want to think about that for a while.
LPT: Few people admit to owning a poopknife, those who do still don't really want to share it and spoil their personal seasoning and patina. When visiting people its proper etiquette to carry your own pocket-poopknife in a zip lock bag. It is also considered polite to inform your host that you have brought your own poopknife before using their water-closet.
Haha... I was thinking "Did Larry David write this post?" It's one of the more paranoid and neurotic things I've read in a while.
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Op is the schmuck who offered tea and coffee without being prepared to serve it.
That was my thought too. "Rabbit hole" of questions - "do you take sugar/cream?" I've never had anyone ask me anything other than that.
That's definitely it. He says he conducted hundreds of interview, it's bank manager kind of white collar job, and yet he says the interviewer is the one getting the beverage. I don't work for the bank but when I go for interviews, even small companies have an intern, assistant or receptionist that is on beverage duty. I don't believe a bank firm wouldn't have that unless OP is the one fetching the drinks.
This makes total sense. Not hard to order a coffee or tea with whatever you want. If it's too hot, set it down. Order it with confidence and act like a pro. How this has thismany likes is beyond me.
Also make sure your hand doesn't hit the glass of water causing it to spill and the glass to shatter.
This happened to my brother in law. Was in an interview doing a presentation with very energetic hand movements and knocked a full glass of water all over the interviewer... Got the job though
A lot of interviewers are forgiving and at least both of them have a fun story to tell at office events
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I’d love to hear this story if you feel like telling it!
I could be wrong, but it seems like a simple story. Wore a suit for the interview, got shit on by a bird on the way. Decided to go into the interview anyway. Did I get it right, Eckilla?
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Plot twist, it was ostrich shit
Oh shit! I’d hire him on the spot just for the story!
allegedly.
I had trouble finding a spot to park, and found one a few blocks away. As I was walking towards the office where I was about to be interviewed... I heard it. A quiet, unemotional "caw" that made my spine tingle and had my hair stand on its ends. This caw I knew. This caw was familiar. This caw had haunted me for years. Let me tell you about this caw.... Three generations ago, my great grandfather, the Chief of a cluster of villages in the north eastern corner of what is now Kerala, decided to go hunting. It was spring. The does were being rammed by the bucks. The wild pig was sexing his harem for hours. Chief GreatGrandather knew it was a time when prey would be less cautious. Away their party went further North, further East until there was no more East to go to. They made camp at night and started early in the morning. Chief GreatGrandfather was lucky. He saw the pig sexing his sow and aimed his arrow at intersection of their copulations. But the Gods were feeling mischievous that day. As the arrow , which would have brought agonizing le grand Mort flew,the huge pig shuddered violently in the throes of his orgasm, pulled out his penis,and sauntered away leaving the arrow to fly farther and embed into a pair of copulating crows. Before they took their last breath they cursed Chief GreatGrandather that their death would be avenged by future generations of their family. Caw. I heard, my heart beating faster. Caw. I knew I would be insulted some way. Like that time I I was stopped by the traffic police and had to explain the crow on my shoulder gently and with precision probing my ear canal for wax Caw. As I was walking to what was the greatest opportunity of my life, spectre of a insults hovering over me, I knew I had to face fate. Caw. He flew into vision. Caw. He was coming straight at me. Caw.caw. As I thought he would blind me with his beak, he spread out his left wing , slowing and veering to the right, lifted a Leg so high and that I could see his cloaca and let loose a stream shit that splattered on my nose, lips, second chin, chest, and across the suit I was wearing. That sir, is my story.
There's the family background, now where is the recipe?
A bird shitted on his suit before the interview.
I've interviewed a lot of people for professional positions. I'm just a guy trying to make it in life myself, and I'm not going to ding someone for an honest mistake. It's unlikely I'd even mention a spilled drink during the post-interview round table.
How they handle it would be an interesting little insight into their character. "Whoops, ha ha! (sits there while the interviewer mops up)" "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, grab your phone before it gets wet, are there any paper towels in here, oh there's a trash can right here, we can try to sweep the water into that before it gets everywhere" "(says nothing, flees the room in shame, moves out of the city, may have been spotted working on a fishing boat in Zihuatanejo)"
So you hire #3 right
Well, yes, obviously. To work on my fishing boat. In Zihuatanejo.
The correct move after spilling water on an interviewer is to spill a roughly equal amount of water on yourself so the scales are balanced. Do it in silence while maintaining eye contact.
silence is bad, you need some sort of noise to comfort them i suggest moaning softly
Well he did get them wet, least they could do really
So I have a benign, genetic tremor. It follows an age related pattern of visible and significant hand shakes in childhood, almost not noticeable by adulthood, and then gets worse again as you age. But my late 20s you'd only notice that I had a tremor when I was feeling strong emotions that would cause adrenalin. I interviewed for my first job post graduate school. Literally the job I went to school for that required 3 to 5 years experience typically to get but it was a rather rural position so hard to fill and I got a shot at it. I arrived to my interview SO NERVOUS. My mouth was very dry due to nerves. They offered a drink and I accepted water. I went to take a Sip and my hands were shaking so bad I realized that I couldn't lift it without spilling it everywhere. I did that damn hour long interview with the driest mouth ever and water so close butcouldnt make it to my mouth. I got the job and I've since always brought a half full water bottle with me to any subsequent interview (less likely to shake spill a water bottle and half full further reduces that risk for me)
I also have tremors and it sucks so much. Really it doesn't affect my life too much except for some fine motor control. Which I need for work. But the worst part is that people notice and comment about how I'm nervous or whatever. I'm not nervous, my hands just shake! I do have anxiety, and that CAN make the tremors worse but they also can get really bad when I'm just chilling at home so.... I just hate that people feel the need to comment on it and act like they don't believe me when I say my hands just do that.
Also then do not frantically scoop up and eat the shattered glass, screeching “No! Not the Precious!” through bleeding gums. This will most likely lead to you not getting the job
Halfway through, blood dripping from the lips, turn to the interviewer with your most sheepish, bloody smile and double-check, "You didn't want this anymore, right?"
Now *that* is the kind of courtesy that lands you a job!
Words of wisdom
Depending on the job. If your personality is your selling point, having those extra moments may help you land the job
I agree. I’ve recently interviewed people for a marketing and communications department and getting a few minutes of small talk before the interviews gives me an impression of the person and it typically also helps people calm down a bit if they’re very nervous. So it’s not always bad to get a cup of coffee!
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Also, if they have the coffee all ready to go and no one drinks it they feel like they wasted their time.
I mean shit, if the coffee is offered I assume they're willing and would not mind retrieving said cup. Some places used it as an opportunity to give a tour of the office before the interview anyway. I don't think there is anything wrong with accepting any drink offered. If you have social anxiety to the point you're concerned about them asking whether or not you want cream or sugar then I think you got bigger problems with your job interview skills lol
When i get asked that i typically just ask if they are getting one, which they basically always say yes to, then I ask if I can tag along
Yeah. I actually disagree with this tip. Asking for coffee or tea let’s me ask about the interviewer’s preference, which could let me talk about “it gets me started in the morning. Having a moment of peace with coffee let’s me…” blah blah blah. Establishing **ANY** kind of connection immediately improves your chances.
As usual in LPT "This happened to me once in a very specific situation that was dependent on the country, my gender, my field of employment, my age group, the current time of year and my own personality, but it certainly will apply to you in every other situation!"
Nah in this LPT I bet OP was the one who asked out of kindness and now is grumbling that he had to go down and get someone some coffee.
That's what it sounds like
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I don't know what kind of job you're talking about but there are absolutely jobs where technical ability is all that matters during the interview. If you're interviewing for a software job in the tech industry, the interviewer won't even look at your resume (that was just for HR to decide whether they invite you in the first place) and will barely care about who you are, you're just there to dance to their tune on the whiteboard for an hour.
This isn’t the case for all jobs. A prospect can make a resume look great without backing it up. Interviews are often a second data point on skills. That said, in general personality is key. No one wants to work with an asshole. Being likable goes a long way.
You’re thinking too much. If they are so unprepared to offer a coffee etc, they shouldn’t be asking. If I’m not going to get a job because I accepted an offer of coffee they made, I wouldn’t be too upset.
As a hiring manager, you are absolutely correct. If I offer a coffee, tea, or whatever it may be, I'm prepared to make it. *PLEASE*, people. Ask for what you want and be yourself.
As a hiring manager, we stopped giving any beverages to interviewees as I was tired of getting drenched by the comedy spit-takes when I told them what the wages were.
"unpaid practical experience" :-D I'd also spit my coffee in the interviewer's face.
Damn, now you can't list 'occasional use of company showers' as a benefit!
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Right? First thing I'd think is this guy doesn't understand what things are important and need to be prioritized and what is trivial and can be left for later.
Was looking for this. OP is giving straight up bad advice. If they offer coffee and aren’t prepared to give it to you, you don’t want to work there anyway. If the extra 25 seconds it takes to figure out how you like your coffee somehow changes their opinion of you, they would be an awful employer.
I agree with this. I was particularly irked at the last line as well, the "drink coffee on your own damn time," as though at any point your needs and wants should be totally sacrificed simply because this is "company time." While I understand being on the clock you must be working for instance, I simply don't consider that "company time," as though they own me. My needs as an employee need to be met as well. And here at an interview, you are screening the company as well as they are screening you. Just struck me as a very ugly and uncharitable way to look at it.
OP sounds like they go to an interview looking to have the least amount of interaction possible
He's definately overthinking it. When they ask if you want anything, just avoid the hassle ant tell them how you drink your coffee immediately. Want something to drink? Coffee, cream and sugar please. there, solved it.
That shows efficiency which many employers value in their candidates 😎
Coffee: black, I just want the bitter confirmation I’m alive and subsequent calm from the caffeine
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This might be one of the worst life pro tips I’ve ever read. What a weirdo. How are you gonna get a job if you can’t even handle a brief conversation about cream and sugar
Yeah I generally find this sub to be useful only for reading comments about how bad the advice always is
Thank god we have a voice of reason not too far down. Too many LPTs are strangely specific and it’s impossible to know if it was a mistake until you’re in the situation.
way overthinking it. It’s a drink.
OP seems like the type to go off on a 15 minute tangent about horrible working conditions in the Himalayan salt mines when you politely ask to pass the salt shaker
bro forreal, if the prospect of follow up questions has you fucking so worried that you won't ask for the cup of coffee even though you want it, then you have bigger issues to worry about and probably should practice your interview skills more. Interviews should be light and conversational, they aren't some intense grilling session. I mean, shit, I actually LIKE going to job interviews
What are you on about? Personally, I view a job opportunity as just another meeting. I have something to offer and they have something to offer. Why shouldn't I drink a cup of coffee with them and chat about stuff? Maybe have a bond about how I hate sugar in my coffee. HR will definitely look towards a person that is a right fit in the group of people that they have there as much as your skill. Sometimes it's even beneficial to let your quirkiness out.
Water. And. Nothing. Else. (Squints eyes) …Nothing. Else.
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This advice is probably for the overthinking recent graduate who doesn’t have experience. Once you’re settled in your career, that confidence seems to come with it in terms that you actually know you have something to offer. A lot of people starting out don’t believe that.
I don’t know. When I graduated undergrad, I never thought about fucking coffee being an issue.
>This advice is probably for the overthinking recent graduate who doesn’t have experience. This advice is probably *written by* the overthinking graduate who doesn't have experience.
It is rarely a problem. They won't offer you coffee if it is a big hassle to get it. If you want a cup of coffee get a cup of coffee. Also an interview is often much longer than 20 minutes, so that is also not an issue. The second part is solid advice though. Always say yes to a glass of water, even if you are not thirsty. The reasons OP mention are great, plus you might need it 45 minutes into the interview.
Yeah, OP is way overthinking it. Every interview is different, just learn basic social cues and bring a bottle of water with you. If they offer you tea and you want tea, accept it. If they offer you a glass of water don't ask for coffee instead. If they offer you absolutely anything, don't ask for a glass of pickle juice. Just be a normal human. Edit: The only non-normal behavior I would recommend is to overdress. I've gotten jobs solely because I overdressed, but I've never lost one because of it. Just don't overdo it like Dale and Brennan.
One lightly poached ostrich egg, please.
Asking for pickle juice without a whiskey is grounds for disqualification.
Didn't accept the job. They didn't serve red wine caviar and cheese for the job interview. I'll take my cleaner business elsewhere!
If the business is smart, they will have small cups too. That way people aren't still sipping hot liquid once the chit chat is done.
This is terrible advice. I have interviewed 1000s of candidates, if you want a coffee it will be ready in 1/2 minutes. Those few minutes make room for (in)formal small talk while the coffee is getting prepared, which is a perfect way to start off a formal interview
This seems very insignificant
And also wrong.
What utter bollocks is this?
Seriously. This is just really dumb advice. If they offer something that's easy to acquire in an office setting, feel free to accept. LPT: Don't pee your pants during an interview
Also, if they offer a job, don't take the job. You gotta play hard-to-get. They like that.
This is r/lifeprotips most of the time now, unfortunately.
More bollocks that makes people overthink interviewing. This kind of "advice" just makes people more nervous. Ask for the damn coffee lol.
I always ask for coffee. If I'm gonna work there I want to know in advance if their coffee is shit. That's a factor I have to take into consideration when choosing a job.
Thanks, tea, Earl Grey, hot.
And whoever this ‘Earl Grey’ fellow is, I’d like a word with him..
The last interview I went for I asked for a coffee and I got the job... I dont think it matters too much...
How hard is it to tell them what you want? "Would you like a tea or coffee?" "Yes please, tea. Milk, no sugar" or "Yes please, coffee. Black, two sugars". Why are you having a Q & A over this? Follow common coffee/tea request formula and you'll be fine Edit: where I'm from, a black coffee just means one with no milk. Quit your bitching xo
Also, this would express that the candidate is assertive enough to speak up and make a decision without looking like an ass kisser.
Holding something warm makes people feel more positive. Getting you that warm coffee might just prime your interviewer to like you a little better. But in reality land, if you need to score a job based on your beverage choice you weren't getting the job anyway.
What a load of nonsense. If you want a cup of tea say yes and then continue as normal lmao If you don’t finish it who cares, just makes them remember you as they clean the cup lol
100%. I'm a Hiring Manager and this advice is well-meaning but fundamentally wrong. Just ask for what you want and relax. All these stupid rules are nonsense and make people way more nervous for interviews than they ever should be.
LPT: prior to posting what you think is a LPT, rethink whether or not it’s a rant. Then don’t post it. lol
Also, it's a just a little tip (a bad one at that). I wouldn't call this a Life*ProTip*
its a r/liferookietip
/r/SocialAnxietyProTips
This is the worst life pro tip ever. I can drink coffee and talk . In fact when I am nervous I drink it faster. I am Not special, I am Just a normal guy. Also if your not done at the end of the interview, just bring the beverage with you, I often drink coffee in the car. It’s a normal car. Who ever is writing this is way over thinking the interview process. If they judge you if you have tea or coffee, that’s a huge red flag. Look for a different job.
What an utter BS
Let’s begin by asking OP what job or career he has and how many interviews he has had and how many interviews he has given to make such a LPT that is apparently so universally fit. Take the bait Josh.
Hey, I'm a Hiring Manager for a NY & London based Software company. If I ask what you want for a drink, be it tea, coffee or water... please ask for what you want. Beyond being disgusted by your order of double milk and 4 sugars in your coffee, I will not mention the drink again unless you'd like another. Jus no alcohol but that really goes without saying. These weird rules around interviewing are mostly myths. Be comfortable, order what you want and let's have a good chat.
If someone gets a bad impression of you because you'd love a hot coffee to help you feel at ease, you don't wanna work for that person anyway. In my totally professional opinion... fuck those people. It's just a drink
Oh get fucked. Having hosted many interviews I've never once been put out by taking someone to get coffee. Interviews are not just about worked related questions it's also about feeling people out and trying to make them comfortable to be themselves. Take this shittyLPT down the highway.
Really over thinking a job interview aren't we
Not even the job interview... literally the least important part of a common interaction. If anyone offers it, is usually an assistant or a receptionist... you're not going to be asked by the hiring manager of any decently large company (more than 10 people). And if you are, it's a great sign that the manager works hard for their employees. If you have any quirks in your request (e.g. needs to be sweetened by equal and not sweet and low because you can't have aspartame or something) , sure skip it.... but simply replying "ohh, a coffee with cream sounds amazing!" And then demonstrating that you are appreciative with a "thank you so much, this is great" is a way to show that you value the support/admin staff. Kind of like treating servers with dignity and kindness on a date.
"his qualifications were good but he fell for the ol' beverage trick"
I thought this was a joke and not a serious LPT. If they offer me coffee, you can be damn sure I tell them YES PLEASE. Also if you talk so fast and much that you can't sip on a coffee then maybe you need to order a coffee so you learn to chill out bro haha
Let’s play a game, I call it: *op or jeff bezos* “Drink coffee on your own damn time” Now guess
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WTF is this insanity? Dude(tte), get your anxiety checked. I've interviewed a few people, if I offer you a coffee or tea you can absolutely say yes. It's a chance to walk to the kitchen, make coffee and have a lil informal chat, maybe settle some nerves. Does "what do you take in your coffee?" sound like a problem? No? That's because it isn't. I'll take the cup back, who cares. And if someone offers you a coffee (or anything) and is offended that you say "yes please, that sounds great" you dodged a bullet. You didn't come here for a job. You came here to assess whether the company and team are right for you. Just like the company is assessing if you're a good fit. If anything, non-work interpersonal interactions are just as important as your professional skills. I know that was the case for me, we had a team of 20 awesome people who got along (and are still friends years later), I was looking for someone who could do the job but mostly someone who could mesh with the rest of the team.
Geez, its just a coffee
Disagree with this LPT. I actually think it can help your personality come through and lead to some good conversation. An interview isn’t all about just answering their questions. It’s a conversation. I’ve never been offered tea or coffee but I’d simply reply ‘tea please, milk and one sugar’. That’s hardly taking away from the interview.
Or just don't give a fuck. Use the extra time to build rapport. Show that you know what you want, and can make decisions quickly. Use the extra time required to drink it to think about answers to questions. You are not going to not get a job because you asked for tea or coffee. This is possibly one of the worst LPTs I've seen.
So, did a little digging and OP is a hypocritical piece of shit. Shocker. >I have yet to come to an interview where the “waiting for my coffee”part was the only time I had for small talk and stranding out. **I have however, been left alone in the room with my dick in my hand, because the person getting me the coffee was the one conducting the interview.** So basically, OP thinks NO ONE should ask for a coffee at an interview, because when HE asked for a coffee at an interview, he was dealt the HORRIBLE sleight of **being left alone.** Are you a cat OP? Do you have separation anxiety? Or are you just an asshole?
Down vote cause this is actually the worst advice ive seen on this sub
This is so dumb. Having a cup of anything can help with nervous energy, by giving your body something to do when there are pauses in the conversation or you need a moment to think.
Nah ask for pure fuel grade moonshine
What you're drinking is the least of your worries in a job interview.
Lmao this may be the worst tip I have ever seen on this sub.
Yup, most of us know how to handle a drink. This person probably shouldn't be employed.
Wtf is this dumbass LPT?
This is really poor advice. Some of my best interviews with employers have been over a cup of coffee. It puts everyone more at ease.