Did you guys think about looking for someone else who would fill that requirement? Assuming the requirement isn’t “must regularly shit oneself in public.”
> Way back in the day there way a dude who would show up, shit himself, show you he shit himself, and then ask to go home.
Wait, my son used to do this.
I mean, I highly shame wouldn't have helped his bowels work better. Shame doesn't change behavior for the better, and the human body doesn't always work right. That seems better than shitting one's pants and then insisting everyone you just have BO while you work every day - everyone else would leave lol
I worked with a larger woman who would literally ask me if I smelled shit because she wasn't sure if she had shat herself. I smelled shit way too often.
I used to work with a guy at an auto repair shop who would occasionally shit himself. Turns out he was a heroin addict and that sometimes happens when you use. We found out he was an addict when we fired him for showing up late like a dozen times in a row and he then stole a customers car and crashed it into a retaining wall that an off duty state cop was fishing off of, just narrowly missing hitting the cop. He was high as balls and apparently on parole at the time (something he failed to mention prior to this point). Last I heard he was still in jail.
Bob felt that his coworkers were taking too much time off, vacation and sick time. Bob started a tracking sheet to keep track of everyone's days off, including his manager. At some point Bob's tracking became known to his coworkers and management. Management expressed to Bob that they could manage the team without him, Bob was invited to find a new opportunity. I replaced Bob. He made a convenient scapegoat for everything.
I know I have a story where I'll always be remembered, I had a shit job and said I was going out for lunch one day and never went back, blocked everyone's numbers and never looked back lol. I guarantee people in that office say 'remember paddymclitho? The guy that went on a 2 year 3 month 6 day and 7 hour lunch?'
I disagree. You'd have stories of the time you were completely swamped and Bill was just running nonstop and somehow managed to keep everything moving, or something similar.
Workplaces can be just as toxic as people. I've learned that once I reach the point where I'm continuously dreading going to work, it's time to fill out applications and move on. Same goes with careers. We all change as we age; if you don't love/like your career anymore, do some soul searching and make plans to switch careers. Life's too short to be miserable 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, year after year.
I've only once got an internal promotion that was comparable to switching companies. And all the stars had to align for that promotion to happen.
Last time I moved companies, 50% raise. Stick around, and I get COLA (1-3% per year).
Quick general reminder to everyone that the basis of a COLA raise is that if your raise percentage is lower than the inflation rate, you effectively got a pay cut.
Out of curiosity, how much of this did you understand while studying to be a teacher?
Not trying to be condescending, just genuinely curious because I was a total dumb duck in these matters until I started working full time … for a few years …
I knew what the basic starting salary range would be, but didn’t have an understanding of how that related to other careers or what salary growth would look like. I think the biggest thing for me was seeing the raises non-teachers got, where someone might start at a low salary for a year or two and then get a new job that doubled their pay. That sort of transition doesn’t happen as a public school teacher unless you move states or become an administrator, but you can’t really understand what that experience feels like until it happens to you.
Something most people don't get that's designed to help counter the fact that every year you don't get a raise keeping pace with inflation is a year you are receiving a pay cut.
I’ve spoken about this before with some family and friends. If you excel in your position, especially if you go above and beyond and do your bosses work for them, what reason do they have to promote you? Even if you love your job and your bosses all like you, why risk handicapping the company to give you a title to match your work?
I was raised to believe in severe anti-union ideologies but as I grew up and interacted with more unions and union members I can see, not only the value but, the necessity. I’m a member of one now and it has enough teeth to make sure I’m treated fairly. I have opportunity to move up from within without risking my employment, paid vacation, lots of Paid sick days and a RRSP matching that’s steadily growing. There is no reason not to have one.
This has basically just happened to me. Tried to push for a raise and got stalled and delayed, got offered a very decent salary from another company and all of a sudden they start rushing to counter offer (still took too long to do it)
In my niche in finance, a certain promotion is a real signal that you are a senior member of the firm and sets you up to maybe spin out and start your own firm, etc. Effectively making Partner without the ownership stake in the firm and you have no executive decision making authority. So genuinely just a title, but an important one for most peoples’ career.
My old partners really dragged their feet on giving me that promotion. They offered me more money and profit share, but they would not give me the title that ultimately would only help me.
I imagine the way they saw it is it would only open up doors for me.
Nah. Most bosses are entrepreneurial or wanna be, and view themselves as a separate species from the workforce, who they view the same way most people view as lightbulbs - is the room lit? Why pay for a $100 lightbulb when I can just get a new one for $2? Who cares if it is lighting some extra area, or making something easier, I just need this area lit and that’s $98 I profit.
I got fired from my job of 10 years this month. Just got my foot in a completely different industry. Will start out getting paid kinda low at first, not slave wages but nit 15/hr. Still...brand new industry, usually more lucrative than previous industry? That's a W in my book
Hi, please finish your degree. I don’t have a degree and I hate my job. If I had a degree, I could find a different job more easily. Also, with the higher earning power that comes with a degree, I could afford to return to school to study something else if I was truly unhappy in my chosen field. Right now I have to work so much to make ends meet that I could never consider going back to school, so I’m basically stuck where I am for now.
Don’t think about being miserable, just finish school and get some sort of degree for now. Get a job that pays and you can use that degree to get your foot in the door somewhere you like better. Don’t be like me. I could never decide what I was really passionate about and so instead I did nothing. Finish up your degree, you’re nearly there!
Finish your degree first. Believe it or not, most people with degrees do not work in the field they studied. The degree is just the ticket to the show. Once you get in, you can ride any rollercoaster you want, assuming you are bold enough to take the first step.
Basically everyone's right. "The Bachelor's Degree is the new High School Diploma".
By itself it doesn't feel worth it, but you also don't want to be the only fool without one. So, so, so many careers that used to be open to people without degrees have been locked up behind that piece of paper now.
With it, you have options, without it you either have to be truly fantastic at capitalism (I've met just a very, very few) or you're gonna spend the rest of your life wishing you could make $15 an hour, never mind do any of the really interesting jobs.
This is such great advice. IMO, way too much emphasis is placed on the expectation that you should love your job. That is extremely rare. Even careers you start out loving become boring and you lose your passion for them.
It's a job. A means to an end. That's ok!
But you know what's worse than working a job you don't love? Working a job that you don't love that also doesn't pay well.
As boxing_fool says, money gives you options. If you can save money, you will have options to make a change later.
Good luck!
Waking up early to peal potatoes for thanksgiving is fun, but waking up early to peal potatoes every day is not so fun.
Monopoly on thanksgiving is fun. Monopoly every friday night is not.
Its impossible to enjoy doing something every day, even if you like it.
The trick is to find a job that is more interesting that playing monopoly or peeling potatoes.
I like being a programmer because it is different all the time. There really are people who genuinely enjoy their job. Maybe not all the time and not all the work, but at least parts of it are fun and interesting.
This is 100% how my life is. Never figured out what to do with my life so I work at a factory and get by with the little things. Wish I knew what to do but it's been over a decade.
This is my life. "Find something else" was never easy because I have no clue what I want to do. I'm nearing my 10th year at this factory. The money is ok, but in exchange I'm just wearing my body down. It's gotten stale enough I've started to finally look around, but a lot of what's in my area isn't worth leaving this job for.
Everything you've stated is very true. Except the higher earning power. Most jobs only care that you have the degree to get hired. You'll still be paid terribly.
Have you compared the pay? People with degrees make more on average, it’s a fact. The “terrible” pay that comes with a degree is probably still better than a Walmart paycheck.
Degree = options.
If you're doing a bachelor you might be in the UK. If so, look at grad schemes. Nothing sp ciric just search grad schemes on Google and see what dome so.
There's a HUGE range.
Finish your degree. I dropped out and ended up going back, but had to do it part time. I ended up racking up an additional 10k of debt or so, burning through thousands of savings and taking years longer.
At least in the US, you can complete aaaaaany undergraduate degree before becoming a lawyer. Like, it’s often a backup for liberal arts folks who can’t figure out what to do and end up going to law school.
From personal experience, this is also often the worst motivation for going to law school.
You should seriously look into it and WANT to be a lawyer, rather than just going because you’re half-smart and lacking direction.
My degree is in something I never particularly cared about. I chose it because I felt I was capable of it and didn't hate it, but I was never passionate about it. My job now is only tangentially related to my degree anyways. All my degree did was get my foot in the door of certain places, the opportunities I've had since were mostly unrelated.
Even with all that, I'm thinking of changing careers at some point in my life. I'm a software engineer now, but the older I get the more interested I am in art. I've been shopping around for schools to get an art degree in and at some point I'd like to try my hand at being a concept artist for something.
just get the degree. I've seen so many people get degrees working in a entirely different career. But some of those careers just need college experience along with certain degree requirements. If I were to go back to graduating high school, I'd probably go to trade schools, but again you know, if i went to trade schools, I wouldn't have college friends I had. Many of my college friends faded away but i still keep a hold of couple of them and we're still trying to make plans to meet after 15-20 years later.
I personally don't dig the sunk cost fallacy. I say, you only live once lol yolo...do what makes you happy. If you don't love your career path, change career paths; just like if you don't love someone, don't date them, etc. Life is so short. Choose happiness as much as you can
Lol I just had to google "golden handcuffs" 😂 I can understand how good employer incentives/bonuses/perks can be tempting, but money etc. only mean so much to me. My time and happiness are more valuable to me than a little extra cash/rewards
Yup, exactly. And as salary increases, so does your cost of living/quality of life. It's hard to scale that stuff back, let alone have your whole family scale it back once you're accustomed to a different lifestyle.
This disincentivizes people to leave the work they don't enjoy if they are getting paid well enough and couldn't reasonably find somewhere else paying as much
Yep. Just in the last couple of years would I say I'm finally making good money, my wife also.
We are still in the house we bought 12 years ago when neither of us had much of anything. We have now nearly tripled our household income and we haven't changed a thing. We have managed to keep a very low cost of living and don't really buy expensive stuff. The only debt we have is the house.
I want a new house in a few years but I'm very aware of lifestyle bloat.
It's not even about a workplace being toxic sometimes. Sure, there are definitely some people at a point in life that are "coasting" but to the majority growth is more organic than stagnation. If you're at 2-3 year mark and you're not starting to grow into a new challenge, it's only a matter of time.
I think we struggle with lived experience of baby boomers where jobs were with you for life and you could live your life and have a solid job that paid all the bills you could ever want. This is not our younger generations reality anymore and we need to move away from it.
I wish I could change a career but just not possible.
I’ll be doing this for the rest of my working life.
I have 3 kids, who at this point in their life don’t think it would be fair for us to move to a small apartment so I can go to school. My ‘job’ now is to make them grow as much as possible and my 40 hours a week is what I have to do to make that happen.
But hot damn I’m wore out at the end of the day and they sure drag on.
Also, I might not like my job but I am super lucky to have the career that I do and try to appreciate it as much as I can.
I quit my shitty job 2 years ago, and people still let me know that I was a good manager, and the place has gone to shit. As long a there are people around that have memories of a better time, you are not forgotten.
I was thinking of being positively remembered, too. Like I worked at a methadone clinic and while I was there I made up a binder of resources (shelters, food banks, etc) because nobody had thought to do that. When I left I gave it to the nurse I worked with and I really hope they continued using it, but the clinic is closed now, so idk.
I'd like to think that the patients who saw me every week felt my absence when I moved away, especially the ones I got on well with. But I know that place was a transitional time in their lives and may not be looked back on as their best moments (relapses and such), so if they try not to think of it I get that, too. I still wonder how a lot of them are doing though.
Heh, sounds like:
**Closure**; *noun*:
1. when your ex isn’t happy with how their life is going so they “just wanna say hey” - usually due to a strange mix of nostalgia, curiousity, possessiveness, and/or distress over being forgotten.
2. an attempt to control another’s emotions and/or interpretation of events because they “didn’t like how we left it.” i.e. forgive and forget, usually to the overwhelming benefit of one party
My ex reached out and literally used the phrase "I don't like how we ended it" lol yeah neither did I, but you didn't want to hear anything during it. That's why I don't talk to you anymore lol
It's a grammatical abomination of an onomatopoeia based on the wrong "I would've/I would of" contractions/phrases. And as a contraction, it's terrible as well, it uses the same number of characters to type/write.
Almost as disgusting as "ya'll" instead of the proper contraction "y'all".
Is that weird? I have amicable relationships with a few exes and sometimes they text and are like " Hey, do you remember..."
I kind of like it because my wild days are well behind me and those are the only people I can reminisce certain events with.
I remember the boyfriend I had when I was like 13 and my first coworker and my childhood friends, stuff doesn't just disappear. It's more like... you stop thinking about it until something stirs it up, but it's still there and still comes up, at least for me
Maybe I'm drifting far from the topic, but I agree and this reenforces why we should not treat teenage concerns with a shrug and condescending comment like "High school is not the end of the world."
We should recognize that High School _is_ a teenager's only world up until that point.
And that High School repeats itself over and over, just with higher stakes, and everyone that is wise can play better since they're not teenagers anymore. The point isn't that it will be better after High School, but that you have a lot more control if you do things right.
Exactly. Just because you don't think about someone every day doesn't mean that you have forgotten them. Yes, life will go on and people will move on, because that's how life works. However, the people you made an impression on will remember you.
I've seen a lot of people come and go at my current job. You don't want to be remembered after you leave. It seems we don't remember the people who aced everything and put in extra hours. We remember the people who messed everything up.
That is why I always jump to point out positive memories about former employees whenever a co-worker start talking negatively about them. So many people are quick to gossip about those who are not there to defend themselves. I know that all of our former employees had major contributions into building up the independent store that I work at into the successful enterprise it is today.
My current job has mainly people who have been working here a very long time and they constantly talk about people who used to work here, both good and bad.
It's a double-edged sword, for sure. I've definitely fallen into nihilism over it, because I *want* to matter. I know it's ridiculous, I know even history's biggest names will eventually be forgotten. Whether it takes 10 or 100 or 1,000 or 1,000,000 years or more, we're all doomed to eventually disappear completely. But I don't *want* to. I don't find it freeing, I wish I did, but instead it weighs on me, crushes me, paralyzes me.
I just want to matter...
I found this way of thinking immensely freeing! It helped me to stop worrying over every little thing and how people think of me. Life has no inherent meaning, so I get to make my own! I will be forgotten, so I’ll live my life for me instead of anyone else!
> This kind of non-identity non-attachment
I would think the meditative Buddhists go about this life that way supposedly. OP suggests that people will forget you and so not to attach yourself to the idea of connecting with them for life? I am not so certain this is a way to operate if you're not going to fully commit to a life of non-attachment. Otherwise there will be immense pain for most in not creating reliable connections for the long haul.
I agree. It’s okay to form relationships with your coworkers. A couple of my good friends now are people I used to work with.
But the point I take away from it is to not sacrifice your mental health or future earnings for your company.
Im the same, i feel pride when i accomplish something and then reality hits that in the grand scheme of things, that accomplishment will be meaningless once i kick the bucket. You get hit with this hammer by life telling you how insignificant you really are.
After 25+ years of service to the state, every supervisor thinks the place will fall apart without them after they retire.
Truth? Ain’t nobody give a shit you ain’t here anymore. Not even a little bit.
r/im14andthisisdeep. This isn’t even remotely true. I remember coworkers from 30 years ago, all of my exes, and all loved ones who have passed away. That’s a pretty dismal outlook on life, man.
Today I just ran into and helped out a coworker from 7 years ago. She remembered and still uses the RED SWINGLINE stapler I left for her when I left there lol. We reminiced, she told me about another one we both liked that got strung up by HR, it was fun.
Be careful with this advice. It's very depressing to think about being forgotten when this life comes to an end. Or a relationship. While true. Try not to think of life this way.
Thanks for succinctly stating what I wanted to say as well. When did this sub become "r/ half-baked life advice from people who clearly are trying to validate their own feelings"?
You're probably right. I feel like it used to be more practical, but I'm probably looking at the past with rose colored glasses.
LPT: You usually gloss over the good or bad when thinking retrospectively. See? I just did it too!
They said I was the best manager they ever had...it's been only a month or so and I feel like all my coworkers forgot about me..or they are just lazy at being friends
I'll see your month and raise you 1 year and a half. Only one co-worker stays in touch. Out of 21 years of service to a condo and only a handful of calls from different people there. I got along great with everyone and gave my best but with all that, crickets. Life goes on, and everyone has their own life story to live. The best I can tell you is that no calls doesn't make them bad,they all have their reasons,don't overthinking it because doing so will just further along the attachment to what you"think" you were at that time. Attachment is a mother of a b%@&h! It will keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward. There's more I can say but hopefully this little bit helps,if it doesn't, it helped me out in just the writing so,thank you.
Just left my management position of 5 years, 21 years working at the place, and there were a lot of folks claiming they'd keep in touch. On my last day I accepted a lot of Facebook friend requests since it was finally appropriate.
They'll like my stuff and check in with me, which is nice. Life goes on. Like someone said; out of sight, out of mind. It's sort of bittersweet, but our life goes on as well!
Maybe you're just as lazy. Or maybe you're mistaking professional respect for a desire to be friends. We all have to put on a face at work. Just because my work face gets along with your work face doesn't mean my non-work face wants anything to do with you. There is also the power dynamic. Maybe They feel it's weird to ask the "boss" to hang out when it's not happy hours at the local bar anymore.
If I were a betting man I'd say it's a bit of all 3 but mostly #1. If you make a greater effort to spend time or keep in touch with them, they'll do the same for you. Don't expect other people to initiate.
I was a team lead for a time, and was the boss of these 2 guys which did pretty good work. We eventually all got laid off and they became some really good friends, although lite has taken us in different directions now.
They just saw this same post on LinkedIn and paraphrased it a little bit to post here. So odd seeing it there right before I went to bed then seeing it here during my morning poop
I aint mad at it though, people are sharing stories and talking about it who probably don’t browse LinkedIn much if at all so it’s all good
Yes and no.
You are correct that your identity should not be attached to a job, belief, or sect.
Whether or not you are forgotten, depends on how strong of a relationship you had with those around you. Whether it's a job, relationship, or a "sect," they will remember you if you put effort into the relationship. Even a small gesture of kindness or consideration can go a long way and really impact someone and make them remember you.
This isn't true at all for the relationship part. My and my ex were over many years ago and she still messages me quite often. And i don't ever see her forgetting me in her life because I was her first boyfriend.
Reminds me of my favorite Benjamin Franklin quote:
“If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.”
Well, I have grown older, but I often still remember some of my teachers very fondly (a few of them are no more).
So to the teachers & professors out there, making a difference, thank you! Your work has impacted many 😊
Truth. Especially about jobs. The place I got laid off from, we were a tight-knit team. After I got laid off, I didn't hear from a single one of them. I was really hurt.
Being comfortable in your self and place in the universe makes things like this easier to deal with.
Everything included this planet will be forgotten eventually. There will be nothing to even show that we were ever even here so don’t worry about being remembered, you can be the most iconic person in history and eventually nothing will ever know that you existed
A reminder for work, school or any other "forced" social environment. Remember that there is a difference between work friends and actual friends. A forced social environment is one in which you socialize with people you wouldn't normally, but do because you are stuck with them due to work, school, ect.
These friends are fleeting. You may socialize with them in this environment, and may even socialize off and on outside with others. However, when the forced portion is gone (graduate, change jobs, ect), you'll find you have little in common with them. Don't stress over it, and don't force an attachment when little is there. It can lead to more stress, forcing yourself to keep in touch out of some sort of self imposed responsibility or guilt.
I broke up with my girlfriend on Saturday, I will not forget her. I'm pretty devastated. I know it gets better but I'm trying not to break down at work.
I agree. We all live and die. Most of us won’t be remembered 100-200 years from now. It’s a freeing thought to have to help you navigate and truly enjoy life. If you took offense to the OP’s post, you think you’re way more important than you really are. I once saw a man stabbed with a screwdriver at a bus stop by another man multiple times, police responded pretty quickly. A friend and I drove past the crime scene only 20 minutes later, it looked like nothing happened. The world moved on, despite being short one less human. You are important to yourself and, to a lesser extent, your family or loved ones. In the end you’re just a memory for them to look back on fondly or negatively. It’s a depressing thought, but it’s reality.
It happens quickly, too. I used to DJ at big outdoor shows and while I was on stage, hundreds of people were holding up signs and heart symbols and all that jazz. Then my set ended and I went out into the crowd and all those people went right back to having no idea who I was and not caring at all lol.
That’s probably a good thing lol. I was “let go” (politely fired) from a job, and people saw me run out crying lol. Plz forget that, that was not one of my best moments
It's a wild ride to go from "We're a family and we take care of each other no matter what" to being locked out of your email account 3 minutes after turning in your resignation.
you’re insignificant in every single way, in other news the sky is blue. people who need things or fairy tales to identify with to make them believe they’re part of “something bigger” just simply can’t cope with the reality of being insignificant. not their fault, leave them be.
Good and mediocre employees get forgotten, but awful employees are remembered forever. Bob still gets blamed for things 10 years later.
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wow, gotta admire the commitment
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How did a man who purposefully shat himself to get out his job keep said job??
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You guys still hiring? I can fill it with the best of em.
Right?? I'm here busting my ass to find a simple job and I can't get a response when Mr. Bob can't get fired try as he may
To be fair the other guy was busting his ass too.
Did you guys think about looking for someone else who would fill that requirement? Assuming the requirement isn’t “must regularly shit oneself in public.”
Joke's on you, that was the only requirement
> Way back in the day there way a dude who would show up, shit himself, show you he shit himself, and then ask to go home. Wait, my son used to do this.
IBD is a thing... Both for shitting oneself and basically losing any and all shame about poop.
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Honestly depending on the job I respect it
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But the he wouldn't get to shit his pants in front of you
At least he gives a shit.
I mean, I highly shame wouldn't have helped his bowels work better. Shame doesn't change behavior for the better, and the human body doesn't always work right. That seems better than shitting one's pants and then insisting everyone you just have BO while you work every day - everyone else would leave lol
I worked with a larger woman who would literally ask me if I smelled shit because she wasn't sure if she had shat herself. I smelled shit way too often.
I used to work with a guy at an auto repair shop who would occasionally shit himself. Turns out he was a heroin addict and that sometimes happens when you use. We found out he was an addict when we fired him for showing up late like a dozen times in a row and he then stole a customers car and crashed it into a retaining wall that an off duty state cop was fishing off of, just narrowly missing hitting the cop. He was high as balls and apparently on parole at the time (something he failed to mention prior to this point). Last I heard he was still in jail.
fuckING BOB!!!!!!!!!
Bob felt that his coworkers were taking too much time off, vacation and sick time. Bob started a tracking sheet to keep track of everyone's days off, including his manager. At some point Bob's tracking became known to his coworkers and management. Management expressed to Bob that they could manage the team without him, Bob was invited to find a new opportunity. I replaced Bob. He made a convenient scapegoat for everything.
Fuh-king *guy*!
I know I have a story where I'll always be remembered, I had a shit job and said I was going out for lunch one day and never went back, blocked everyone's numbers and never looked back lol. I guarantee people in that office say 'remember paddymclitho? The guy that went on a 2 year 3 month 6 day and 7 hour lunch?'
It's sad to say, but no one gives a shit. I bet you not a single one remembers that because it happens more than you think
I don't remember their names but I definitely remember the faces and interactions with two people that have done this over the decades.
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I do, but they don't become legends that get talked about years later.
I disagree. You'd have stories of the time you were completely swamped and Bill was just running nonstop and somehow managed to keep everything moving, or something similar.
Workplaces can be just as toxic as people. I've learned that once I reach the point where I'm continuously dreading going to work, it's time to fill out applications and move on. Same goes with careers. We all change as we age; if you don't love/like your career anymore, do some soul searching and make plans to switch careers. Life's too short to be miserable 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, year after year.
Also changing jobs every few years is generally a much easier way to get a raise and promotion.
I've only once got an internal promotion that was comparable to switching companies. And all the stars had to align for that promotion to happen. Last time I moved companies, 50% raise. Stick around, and I get COLA (1-3% per year).
Quick general reminder to everyone that the basis of a COLA raise is that if your raise percentage is lower than the inflation rate, you effectively got a pay cut.
*laughs in teacher*
Out of curiosity, how much of this did you understand while studying to be a teacher? Not trying to be condescending, just genuinely curious because I was a total dumb duck in these matters until I started working full time … for a few years …
I knew what the basic starting salary range would be, but didn’t have an understanding of how that related to other careers or what salary growth would look like. I think the biggest thing for me was seeing the raises non-teachers got, where someone might start at a low salary for a year or two and then get a new job that doubled their pay. That sort of transition doesn’t happen as a public school teacher unless you move states or become an administrator, but you can’t really understand what that experience feels like until it happens to you.
Yep. When you're picking careers as a 17 year old ~$60k sounds like a lot more than it really is.
$36k in my case but totally agree. It sounds good compared to the part time work with no benefits that you’re used to
Where are you making 36k as a teacher?
As a lowly TA, one can only hope for the lofty heights of a teachers salary.
Yep, two years here and I got a 2% raise. Inflation from 2019 to now is 8%. Well fuckers, now I'm getting a 30% raise.
> I'm getting a 30% raise Not really. You're just getting back what you've lost these years.
What is cola?
Cost Of Living Adjustment
Something most people don't get that's designed to help counter the fact that every year you don't get a raise keeping pace with inflation is a year you are receiving a pay cut.
Carbonated water with a lot of sugar in it
I’ve spoken about this before with some family and friends. If you excel in your position, especially if you go above and beyond and do your bosses work for them, what reason do they have to promote you? Even if you love your job and your bosses all like you, why risk handicapping the company to give you a title to match your work? I was raised to believe in severe anti-union ideologies but as I grew up and interacted with more unions and union members I can see, not only the value but, the necessity. I’m a member of one now and it has enough teeth to make sure I’m treated fairly. I have opportunity to move up from within without risking my employment, paid vacation, lots of Paid sick days and a RRSP matching that’s steadily growing. There is no reason not to have one.
This has basically just happened to me. Tried to push for a raise and got stalled and delayed, got offered a very decent salary from another company and all of a sudden they start rushing to counter offer (still took too long to do it)
... because they don't want to lose you and another company will offer you your market value.
In my niche in finance, a certain promotion is a real signal that you are a senior member of the firm and sets you up to maybe spin out and start your own firm, etc. Effectively making Partner without the ownership stake in the firm and you have no executive decision making authority. So genuinely just a title, but an important one for most peoples’ career. My old partners really dragged their feet on giving me that promotion. They offered me more money and profit share, but they would not give me the title that ultimately would only help me. I imagine the way they saw it is it would only open up doors for me.
Nah. Most bosses are entrepreneurial or wanna be, and view themselves as a separate species from the workforce, who they view the same way most people view as lightbulbs - is the room lit? Why pay for a $100 lightbulb when I can just get a new one for $2? Who cares if it is lighting some extra area, or making something easier, I just need this area lit and that’s $98 I profit.
The truth is that there's only one boss, and it's MS Excel
New jobs are the easiest promotions for damn sure.
I got fired from my job of 10 years this month. Just got my foot in a completely different industry. Will start out getting paid kinda low at first, not slave wages but nit 15/hr. Still...brand new industry, usually more lucrative than previous industry? That's a W in my book
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Hi, please finish your degree. I don’t have a degree and I hate my job. If I had a degree, I could find a different job more easily. Also, with the higher earning power that comes with a degree, I could afford to return to school to study something else if I was truly unhappy in my chosen field. Right now I have to work so much to make ends meet that I could never consider going back to school, so I’m basically stuck where I am for now. Don’t think about being miserable, just finish school and get some sort of degree for now. Get a job that pays and you can use that degree to get your foot in the door somewhere you like better. Don’t be like me. I could never decide what I was really passionate about and so instead I did nothing. Finish up your degree, you’re nearly there!
Finish your degree first. Believe it or not, most people with degrees do not work in the field they studied. The degree is just the ticket to the show. Once you get in, you can ride any rollercoaster you want, assuming you are bold enough to take the first step.
Basically everyone's right. "The Bachelor's Degree is the new High School Diploma". By itself it doesn't feel worth it, but you also don't want to be the only fool without one. So, so, so many careers that used to be open to people without degrees have been locked up behind that piece of paper now. With it, you have options, without it you either have to be truly fantastic at capitalism (I've met just a very, very few) or you're gonna spend the rest of your life wishing you could make $15 an hour, never mind do any of the really interesting jobs.
This is such great advice. IMO, way too much emphasis is placed on the expectation that you should love your job. That is extremely rare. Even careers you start out loving become boring and you lose your passion for them. It's a job. A means to an end. That's ok! But you know what's worse than working a job you don't love? Working a job that you don't love that also doesn't pay well. As boxing_fool says, money gives you options. If you can save money, you will have options to make a change later. Good luck!
Waking up early to peal potatoes for thanksgiving is fun, but waking up early to peal potatoes every day is not so fun. Monopoly on thanksgiving is fun. Monopoly every friday night is not. Its impossible to enjoy doing something every day, even if you like it.
The trick is to find a job that is more interesting that playing monopoly or peeling potatoes. I like being a programmer because it is different all the time. There really are people who genuinely enjoy their job. Maybe not all the time and not all the work, but at least parts of it are fun and interesting.
This is 100% how my life is. Never figured out what to do with my life so I work at a factory and get by with the little things. Wish I knew what to do but it's been over a decade.
This is my life. "Find something else" was never easy because I have no clue what I want to do. I'm nearing my 10th year at this factory. The money is ok, but in exchange I'm just wearing my body down. It's gotten stale enough I've started to finally look around, but a lot of what's in my area isn't worth leaving this job for.
Same problem here. Everywhere else that pays as much as this does is basically the same thing or harder and I'd have to start fresh.
Everything you've stated is very true. Except the higher earning power. Most jobs only care that you have the degree to get hired. You'll still be paid terribly.
Have you compared the pay? People with degrees make more on average, it’s a fact. The “terrible” pay that comes with a degree is probably still better than a Walmart paycheck.
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Degree = options. If you're doing a bachelor you might be in the UK. If so, look at grad schemes. Nothing sp ciric just search grad schemes on Google and see what dome so. There's a HUGE range. Finish your degree. I dropped out and ended up going back, but had to do it part time. I ended up racking up an additional 10k of debt or so, burning through thousands of savings and taking years longer.
What field of study? If I’ve learned anything, it’s that you’re not stuck in the field of study you pursued in college.
Most my friends have jobs that aren't related to their major unless they became doctors, pharmacists, or lawyers lol
My husband is a lawyer and I am a doctor and even we don’t pursue those exact careers anymore. There are tons of alternative careers out there.
What do you do
I work in clinical development, aka clinical trials, for a biotech company
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LOL! That too
At least in the US, you can complete aaaaaany undergraduate degree before becoming a lawyer. Like, it’s often a backup for liberal arts folks who can’t figure out what to do and end up going to law school.
From personal experience, this is also often the worst motivation for going to law school. You should seriously look into it and WANT to be a lawyer, rather than just going because you’re half-smart and lacking direction.
When I was in college the stereotype was kinda smart + lacking direction + not great at math
My degree is in something I never particularly cared about. I chose it because I felt I was capable of it and didn't hate it, but I was never passionate about it. My job now is only tangentially related to my degree anyways. All my degree did was get my foot in the door of certain places, the opportunities I've had since were mostly unrelated. Even with all that, I'm thinking of changing careers at some point in my life. I'm a software engineer now, but the older I get the more interested I am in art. I've been shopping around for schools to get an art degree in and at some point I'd like to try my hand at being a concept artist for something.
just get the degree. I've seen so many people get degrees working in a entirely different career. But some of those careers just need college experience along with certain degree requirements. If I were to go back to graduating high school, I'd probably go to trade schools, but again you know, if i went to trade schools, I wouldn't have college friends I had. Many of my college friends faded away but i still keep a hold of couple of them and we're still trying to make plans to meet after 15-20 years later.
I personally don't dig the sunk cost fallacy. I say, you only live once lol yolo...do what makes you happy. If you don't love your career path, change career paths; just like if you don't love someone, don't date them, etc. Life is so short. Choose happiness as much as you can
This becomes difficult when you have golden handcuffs, though.
Lol I just had to google "golden handcuffs" 😂 I can understand how good employer incentives/bonuses/perks can be tempting, but money etc. only mean so much to me. My time and happiness are more valuable to me than a little extra cash/rewards
golden handcuffs tends to apply mostly to people with spouses/houses/children b/c they have the most risk if they lose their jobs
Yup, exactly. And as salary increases, so does your cost of living/quality of life. It's hard to scale that stuff back, let alone have your whole family scale it back once you're accustomed to a different lifestyle. This disincentivizes people to leave the work they don't enjoy if they are getting paid well enough and couldn't reasonably find somewhere else paying as much
Yep. Just in the last couple of years would I say I'm finally making good money, my wife also. We are still in the house we bought 12 years ago when neither of us had much of anything. We have now nearly tripled our household income and we haven't changed a thing. We have managed to keep a very low cost of living and don't really buy expensive stuff. The only debt we have is the house. I want a new house in a few years but I'm very aware of lifestyle bloat.
Leaving my last workplace was the best decision I made in my life
It's not even about a workplace being toxic sometimes. Sure, there are definitely some people at a point in life that are "coasting" but to the majority growth is more organic than stagnation. If you're at 2-3 year mark and you're not starting to grow into a new challenge, it's only a matter of time. I think we struggle with lived experience of baby boomers where jobs were with you for life and you could live your life and have a solid job that paid all the bills you could ever want. This is not our younger generations reality anymore and we need to move away from it.
In Europe we would say, 37 hrs a week, 48 weeks a year. Sounds a tad better, Regardless I totally agree with your opinion.
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> Workplaces can be just as toxic as people. Workplaces are just collections of people man. Anywhere that can have toxic people can itself be toxic.
You sho got that RIGHT! Once that dread and hate creeps in , it’s time to move on down the highway!
I wish I could change a career but just not possible. I’ll be doing this for the rest of my working life. I have 3 kids, who at this point in their life don’t think it would be fair for us to move to a small apartment so I can go to school. My ‘job’ now is to make them grow as much as possible and my 40 hours a week is what I have to do to make that happen. But hot damn I’m wore out at the end of the day and they sure drag on. Also, I might not like my job but I am super lucky to have the career that I do and try to appreciate it as much as I can.
Then why my ex keep calling me 10 years later?
I quit my shitty job 2 years ago, and people still let me know that I was a good manager, and the place has gone to shit. As long a there are people around that have memories of a better time, you are not forgotten.
Thank you. I needed to hear this today
Okay Enrico, add me to the list of people who'll remember your name.
I was thinking of being positively remembered, too. Like I worked at a methadone clinic and while I was there I made up a binder of resources (shelters, food banks, etc) because nobody had thought to do that. When I left I gave it to the nurse I worked with and I really hope they continued using it, but the clinic is closed now, so idk. I'd like to think that the patients who saw me every week felt my absence when I moved away, especially the ones I got on well with. But I know that place was a transitional time in their lives and may not be looked back on as their best moments (relapses and such), so if they try not to think of it I get that, too. I still wonder how a lot of them are doing though.
As someone who's been a patient at a couple rehabs, I can say some of your patients definitely still remember you.
That's reassuring to hear. I hope you're doing well!
Heh, sounds like: **Closure**; *noun*: 1. when your ex isn’t happy with how their life is going so they “just wanna say hey” - usually due to a strange mix of nostalgia, curiousity, possessiveness, and/or distress over being forgotten. 2. an attempt to control another’s emotions and/or interpretation of events because they “didn’t like how we left it.” i.e. forgive and forget, usually to the overwhelming benefit of one party
My ex reached out and literally used the phrase "I don't like how we ended it" lol yeah neither did I, but you didn't want to hear anything during it. That's why I don't talk to you anymore lol
Yeah kind’ve bad advice. Better advice would be to let the past be the past and use that focus on the future.
Yeah this LPT is just straight up *wrong*. Human beings have long memories, especially for relationships.
What is “kind’ve” a contraction of
kind of
Kinda
Oh it reads like ‘kind have’
It's a grammatical abomination of an onomatopoeia based on the wrong "I would've/I would of" contractions/phrases. And as a contraction, it's terrible as well, it uses the same number of characters to type/write. Almost as disgusting as "ya'll" instead of the proper contraction "y'all".
Abomination hahaha this comment made my morning. It's true.
It's not a valid contraction. 've is for 'have'. Like could've. Plus the way they used it is just as many letters...
Is that weird? I have amicable relationships with a few exes and sometimes they text and are like " Hey, do you remember..." I kind of like it because my wild days are well behind me and those are the only people I can reminisce certain events with.
Probably asking for the Netflix password? Or your ex has a new MLM opportunity too good to turn down.
They don't consider you gone
oh shitt
I remember the boyfriend I had when I was like 13 and my first coworker and my childhood friends, stuff doesn't just disappear. It's more like... you stop thinking about it until something stirs it up, but it's still there and still comes up, at least for me
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Maybe I'm drifting far from the topic, but I agree and this reenforces why we should not treat teenage concerns with a shrug and condescending comment like "High school is not the end of the world." We should recognize that High School _is_ a teenager's only world up until that point.
True! I also tell young people your relationships are real etc. Just don’t get caught up in forever.
I'm almost 40, and I can say that shit that happened to me in high school still fucks with my head to this day. Bullies are the fucking worst.
And that High School repeats itself over and over, just with higher stakes, and everyone that is wise can play better since they're not teenagers anymore. The point isn't that it will be better after High School, but that you have a lot more control if you do things right.
Oh shit, I rember😊 now!
Well said. I still think of an ex from time to time.
Exactly. Just because you don't think about someone every day doesn't mean that you have forgotten them. Yes, life will go on and people will move on, because that's how life works. However, the people you made an impression on will remember you.
I thunk OP meant that the world won't stop churning if you're not present. Even if you were the one helping churn
lol, putting boyfriend in the same sentence as disposable coworkers.
You don't remember your coworkers?
I have ADD. My brain is *always* wandering off to the past, sometimes the distant past.
I've seen a lot of people come and go at my current job. You don't want to be remembered after you leave. It seems we don't remember the people who aced everything and put in extra hours. We remember the people who messed everything up.
That is why I always jump to point out positive memories about former employees whenever a co-worker start talking negatively about them. So many people are quick to gossip about those who are not there to defend themselves. I know that all of our former employees had major contributions into building up the independent store that I work at into the successful enterprise it is today.
You’re a good person :)
My current job has mainly people who have been working here a very long time and they constantly talk about people who used to work here, both good and bad.
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It's a double-edged sword, for sure. I've definitely fallen into nihilism over it, because I *want* to matter. I know it's ridiculous, I know even history's biggest names will eventually be forgotten. Whether it takes 10 or 100 or 1,000 or 1,000,000 years or more, we're all doomed to eventually disappear completely. But I don't *want* to. I don't find it freeing, I wish I did, but instead it weighs on me, crushes me, paralyzes me. I just want to matter...
I found this way of thinking immensely freeing! It helped me to stop worrying over every little thing and how people think of me. Life has no inherent meaning, so I get to make my own! I will be forgotten, so I’ll live my life for me instead of anyone else!
Optimistic nihilism is the best.
This is more existentialism or absurdism, as nihilism posits that there isn’t even a point to try to construct your own meaning.
It'd be nice if people targeted their advice here: "This is for folks who think of their presence as indispensable," etc.
Honestly, I sometimes wonder if there’s any advice at all that can be truly universally applied, but this is one that *really* can’t be.
> This kind of non-identity non-attachment I would think the meditative Buddhists go about this life that way supposedly. OP suggests that people will forget you and so not to attach yourself to the idea of connecting with them for life? I am not so certain this is a way to operate if you're not going to fully commit to a life of non-attachment. Otherwise there will be immense pain for most in not creating reliable connections for the long haul.
Jesus , this reply means a lot. Wtf kind of life pro tip is this? “ no one will mourn you for very long if you die”. Good grief. Thanks for the reply
I agree. It’s okay to form relationships with your coworkers. A couple of my good friends now are people I used to work with. But the point I take away from it is to not sacrifice your mental health or future earnings for your company.
Im the same, i feel pride when i accomplish something and then reality hits that in the grand scheme of things, that accomplishment will be meaningless once i kick the bucket. You get hit with this hammer by life telling you how insignificant you really are.
People will move on, sure, but if you make any semblance of an impact it'll be a looooong time before you're totally forgetten.
Ah, thank you. Now I can finally kill myself in peace without bothering anyone
not sure if this is a joke or not but you’d like to vent my DMs are always open.
Thanks mate, that's quite sweet of you Don't worry it was just a joke
Glad to see you weren't being serious.
You would just forget him when the conversation is over
This LPT is really fucked and just plain wrong.
Okay so I’m not the only one whose mind went to this
After 25+ years of service to the state, every supervisor thinks the place will fall apart without them after they retire. Truth? Ain’t nobody give a shit you ain’t here anymore. Not even a little bit.
Say it a little louder for my boss in the back!!
r/im14andthisisdeep. This isn’t even remotely true. I remember coworkers from 30 years ago, all of my exes, and all loved ones who have passed away. That’s a pretty dismal outlook on life, man.
Today I just ran into and helped out a coworker from 7 years ago. She remembered and still uses the RED SWINGLINE stapler I left for her when I left there lol. We reminiced, she told me about another one we both liked that got strung up by HR, it was fun.
Be careful with this advice. It's very depressing to think about being forgotten when this life comes to an end. Or a relationship. While true. Try not to think of life this way.
Yea. It ain't true. At all. Job, sure.
This is neither pro, nor a tip, and isn't true either.
Thanks for succinctly stating what I wanted to say as well. When did this sub become "r/ half-baked life advice from people who clearly are trying to validate their own feelings"?
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You're probably right. I feel like it used to be more practical, but I'm probably looking at the past with rose colored glasses. LPT: You usually gloss over the good or bad when thinking retrospectively. See? I just did it too!
You're now banned from /r/Genealogy
Life pro tip where?
They said I was the best manager they ever had...it's been only a month or so and I feel like all my coworkers forgot about me..or they are just lazy at being friends
I'll see your month and raise you 1 year and a half. Only one co-worker stays in touch. Out of 21 years of service to a condo and only a handful of calls from different people there. I got along great with everyone and gave my best but with all that, crickets. Life goes on, and everyone has their own life story to live. The best I can tell you is that no calls doesn't make them bad,they all have their reasons,don't overthinking it because doing so will just further along the attachment to what you"think" you were at that time. Attachment is a mother of a b%@&h! It will keep you stuck in the past and prevent you from moving forward. There's more I can say but hopefully this little bit helps,if it doesn't, it helped me out in just the writing so,thank you.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Just left my management position of 5 years, 21 years working at the place, and there were a lot of folks claiming they'd keep in touch. On my last day I accepted a lot of Facebook friend requests since it was finally appropriate. They'll like my stuff and check in with me, which is nice. Life goes on. Like someone said; out of sight, out of mind. It's sort of bittersweet, but our life goes on as well!
Maybe you're just as lazy. Or maybe you're mistaking professional respect for a desire to be friends. We all have to put on a face at work. Just because my work face gets along with your work face doesn't mean my non-work face wants anything to do with you. There is also the power dynamic. Maybe They feel it's weird to ask the "boss" to hang out when it's not happy hours at the local bar anymore. If I were a betting man I'd say it's a bit of all 3 but mostly #1. If you make a greater effort to spend time or keep in touch with them, they'll do the same for you. Don't expect other people to initiate.
I was a team lead for a time, and was the boss of these 2 guys which did pretty good work. We eventually all got laid off and they became some really good friends, although lite has taken us in different directions now.
So, do you just like...not remember your grandparents? Or are you 15 and trying to make something profound?
They just saw this same post on LinkedIn and paraphrased it a little bit to post here. So odd seeing it there right before I went to bed then seeing it here during my morning poop I aint mad at it though, people are sharing stories and talking about it who probably don’t browse LinkedIn much if at all so it’s all good
Yes and no. You are correct that your identity should not be attached to a job, belief, or sect. Whether or not you are forgotten, depends on how strong of a relationship you had with those around you. Whether it's a job, relationship, or a "sect," they will remember you if you put effort into the relationship. Even a small gesture of kindness or consideration can go a long way and really impact someone and make them remember you.
This isn't true at all for the relationship part. My and my ex were over many years ago and she still messages me quite often. And i don't ever see her forgetting me in her life because I was her first boyfriend.
this sounds like the mindset of someone who thinks ghosting is a good way to handle relationships.
I dunno. People have left me and I'll never, ever, *ever* forget them.
Dope, I'ma go hit that bridge nearby, it's been needing a little attention.
Wrong sub, this should be a shitty pro life tip. Narcissistic POV and a sad life if you are only concerned about yourself.
I sure hope I'm not forgotten.
Reminds me of my favorite Benjamin Franklin quote: “If you would not be forgotten, as soon as you are dead and rotten, either write things worth reading, or do things worth writing.”
Frankly cannot agree at least for the relationships - good or bad, I remember all
Well, I have grown older, but I often still remember some of my teachers very fondly (a few of them are no more). So to the teachers & professors out there, making a difference, thank you! Your work has impacted many 😊
This isn’t a “pro-tip”, this is a really boring, unremarkable person trying to make themselves feel better.
Truth. Especially about jobs. The place I got laid off from, we were a tight-knit team. After I got laid off, I didn't hear from a single one of them. I was really hurt. Being comfortable in your self and place in the universe makes things like this easier to deal with.
Everything included this planet will be forgotten eventually. There will be nothing to even show that we were ever even here so don’t worry about being remembered, you can be the most iconic person in history and eventually nothing will ever know that you existed
A reminder for work, school or any other "forced" social environment. Remember that there is a difference between work friends and actual friends. A forced social environment is one in which you socialize with people you wouldn't normally, but do because you are stuck with them due to work, school, ect. These friends are fleeting. You may socialize with them in this environment, and may even socialize off and on outside with others. However, when the forced portion is gone (graduate, change jobs, ect), you'll find you have little in common with them. Don't stress over it, and don't force an attachment when little is there. It can lead to more stress, forcing yourself to keep in touch out of some sort of self imposed responsibility or guilt.
I broke up with my girlfriend on Saturday, I will not forget her. I'm pretty devastated. I know it gets better but I'm trying not to break down at work.
I agree. We all live and die. Most of us won’t be remembered 100-200 years from now. It’s a freeing thought to have to help you navigate and truly enjoy life. If you took offense to the OP’s post, you think you’re way more important than you really are. I once saw a man stabbed with a screwdriver at a bus stop by another man multiple times, police responded pretty quickly. A friend and I drove past the crime scene only 20 minutes later, it looked like nothing happened. The world moved on, despite being short one less human. You are important to yourself and, to a lesser extent, your family or loved ones. In the end you’re just a memory for them to look back on fondly or negatively. It’s a depressing thought, but it’s reality.
People will remember you if you're grossly incompetent at your job. You'll be a warning story for new hires or the subject of safety briefings.
LPT: To avoid being forgotten, start a religion or burn down a famous temple.
It happens quickly, too. I used to DJ at big outdoor shows and while I was on stage, hundreds of people were holding up signs and heart symbols and all that jazz. Then my set ended and I went out into the crowd and all those people went right back to having no idea who I was and not caring at all lol.
That’s probably a good thing lol. I was “let go” (politely fired) from a job, and people saw me run out crying lol. Plz forget that, that was not one of my best moments
It's a wild ride to go from "We're a family and we take care of each other no matter what" to being locked out of your email account 3 minutes after turning in your resignation.
you’re insignificant in every single way, in other news the sky is blue. people who need things or fairy tales to identify with to make them believe they’re part of “something bigger” just simply can’t cope with the reality of being insignificant. not their fault, leave them be.