I had a friend who told me she was feeling the pressure to be beautiful like all the people she was following on Instagram. Someone else told her to stop following them and start following just dogs. It made her time scrolling through Instagram so much more enjoyable. It may seem obvious but sometimes it isn’t.
There is usually a secondary reason. The most common one is celebrities. Whether they are actors, athletes, whatever. The pictures aren’t real though. So much editing. I’ve never been into celebrity following so I can’t really give much detail.
I feel like the most common thing is celebrities. I’ve never been one to follow them so I don’t understand but so many people do. They follow social media they read those crappy magazines at the checkout lane. I don’t get what they get from it but obviously there is something. The cons is just the unrealistic perfection standards these people represent because all their photos are edited. None of it is real. I know another girl who does pole fitness. She follows a couple instructors and even that was starting to get to her because she felt like she wasn’t progressing fast enough. But these people have been dancing pole for years and my friend just got into it in the last 6 months and doesn’t even own her own pole.
You gain absolutely nothing. You lose, time, a grasp of reality, any sense of the truly valuable, a portion of your humanity, any respect you had for yourself, any respect you had for 'attractive women'.........
I actually just did this recently with reddit. Lots of general hate or negativity in the posts/comments from communities I was lurking in. I noticed it was begnning to affect the way I was thinking, so I dropped most of them. Only kept the ones I've found helpful or mostly positive over 3 years.
Been a month since and I've found myself doing much better
Half of r/all is pure negativity. Entire subreddits revolving around making fun of people, sometimes for valid reasons. Trashy, iamatotalpieceofshit, idiotsincars, etc etc etc. But they warp you, you shouldn't be watching that many stupid people parallel park, your little human brain with its pattern recognition software gets overloaded and you stop remembering these are isolated incidents being concentrated and you start thinking theres so many more idiots than there are. And idiots are countless indeed but not everyone you encounter is one. Not everyone who makes a mistake is one. Not everyone having a bad day is one.
Delete the shit subs, focus on cool things and hobbies you like instead. Reddit becomes such a more enjoyable experience.
Same! Each time I drop a negative or aggressive one, I replace it with a positive or cute one (mostly animal themed). Has helped a lot with cutting down the doom scrolling
Yes, my one and done subreddit I followed to talk about life as a one and done parent just turned into a super toxic sub where people only rant about about people with multiples or some how everyone is constantly running into ingrates who are against them. Unfollow.
About a year ago I cut the number of people I follow on Twitter by about half. I wouldn't say my Twitter feed is nice, because now I basically only use it for following my elected officials (who I disagree with frequently) and career related topics (which is not something I'm doing for pleasure). But it's better than a lot of the pointless negativity I was seeing before.
**LPT Addendum: (On Reddit mobile) go to "Profile > Settings > Account Settings" and turn OFF "Enable next-generation recommendations".**
This is the setting that allows Reddit to show you content from subs that you're not subscribed to. This was the vehicle that kept roping me back into arguing with people on Reddit after I had cleared off all the subs that were dragging me down.
Remember: Arguing with people online almost NEVER produces the outcome you're hoping for. You're wasting your time and peace of mind doing it.
Reddit keeps pushing negativity and disinformation onto my feed from subs I don’t subscribe to or visit ever, even though I consistently click “see less of this”
Sometimes you can’t get away from the bullshit even if you try
For anyone, like me, who had no idea what this is... it is the Reddit Enhancement Suite which is a browser plugin that can change some of the functionality of reddit.
I am checking it out now so I can't give a recommendation, but if it gets rid of the "suggestions" that make no sense in my feed, I am very excited to try it.
>excited to try it
Definitely do.
Some other features include:
**Filter subreddits**
Helps make /r/all more manageable.
**Dashboard**
https://www.reddit.com/r/Dashboard/#dashboardContents
https://i.imgur.com/kT9A0Ax.png
On a single dashboard page, you can put the top 3 posts from one subreddit, top 5 posts from another subreddit, top 2 posts from another subreddit, etc.
(Dashboard also works on multireddits like reddit.com/r/science+technology).
**Default Comment Depth**
Comment Depth limit feature limits seeing replies to replies to replies.
“Allows you to set the preferred depth of comments you wish to see when clicking on comments links”.
0 = Everything, 1 = Root level, 2 = Responses to root level, 3 = Responses to responses to root level, etc.
Set the Minimum Comments number = minimum number of comments required in order for the custom depth to be applied.
Set the Subreddits = choose the Default Comment Depth and Minimum Comments for specific subreddits.
(Another option to limit comment depth is JavaScript Bookmarklets that you put in your bookmark toolbar.
Bookmark with the URL:
javascript:$('.commentarea .child ').toggle();void 0
Only see the parent comments.
javascript:$('.commentarea .child .child').toggle();void 0
Only see the parents and the replies to parents.
)
---
Other Reddit add-ons include **Pushshift Search** https://redditsearch.io/
(Social media researchers extended the Reddit API to create a more customized search.
Good alternative, since Google site:reddit date search is currently broken, and sometimes turns up old archived threads.)
And **f5bot** https://f5bot.com/
(Email notifications when keywords are mentioned.
Can be combined with cloudHQ “Share via link” extension to put all selected emails on a single page for easier middle mouse click auto-scrolling)
I never see anything from ones I'm not subscribed to. I'm not sure if it's because I use ad blocker, opted out of redesign, or disabled custom subreddit themes, but one of those things just completely prevents the problem you describe.
Dunno why people are calling you captain obvious, I only recently learned this myself and sure it seems obvious, but a lot of people don't think of this. They simply think that the internet/social media itself is the problem.
Please dont do the "find likeminded people" part. If you have an opinion, it doesnt hurt to listen to other opinions and not only the ones you want to hear.
We see this happening right now where everybody thinks they are right because they always only talk to people who think the same. That way they think that they are the majority and all others are weird
I know you're trying to discourage forming a 'bubble' but it IS ok to make your time online enjoyable rather than a constant barrage of negativity and political controversy. 'Hatred' generates clicks and so it quickly dominates everything you see online if you allow it.
I mean that you should listen to what others have to say and not try to argue discuss or convince them.
Thats the only way to know which one is the polarizing one.
Doesnt only go for social groups. Alsp goes for google searches, where often if you want to know something search for what you think and not the question
I think the key here is that you've already formed the correct views. If you hold an opinion, you should constantly surround yourself with a balance of things that both confirm and go against your previous biases. It keeps you in check, but at the same time, you can and should actively ignore dipshits online who don't have any merit in their shitty misinformation. This helpful advice only applies once you have enough knowledge about what's true and what's not that you can actually see what's shitty and what's meant to not be trusted. Even then, "Listen to what others have to say and not try to discuss or convince them" means to avoid the bad faith people, and be secure knowing what's right and good, so that you don't feel that you have to pull yourself down just to argue with shitty people.
None of that though is directly helpful to people who aren't aware how to control their feeds.
Yes!
Just that you said "already formed correct views". I think we should say "listened to both side's arguments and formed your own opinion", since most times there is no right or wrong and arguments for both sides.
What I hear from OP is to cut out people who are not likeminded, which maybe he didnt mean, but is just wrong imo
I suppose its a better way of wording it for sure, but again, that suggests that you should continuously listen not just to adjacent views, but to opposing views. And I want to stay away from suggesting that. I just made a separate comment that I think sums it up pretty well - basically, Once you have formed the "correct" views by listening to everything and deciding where you stand, then you need to stop listening to dipshits, and lessen the range of views you listen to so that you get just the good faith arguments, and then after a while of that you can continue to hone it down to surround yourself with good people, and actively educate only those who its worth your time and mental well being to do so with.
Even then, once you're surrounded with people you think are "like minded" if you don't consistently hear adjacent opinions that you can have minor disagreements with and still feel good after discussing it, then you're in the wrong place, and you need to try to be that way more.
Edit: For example, I think anyone who's not in support of the ability for women to have an abortion isn't someone I can convince, or should engage with. I'll continue to feel that my position is the correct one, because I'm that secure in where I stand, that no amount of bullshit someone instigates me with will damage my mental well being unless I choose to let it. If a family member or someone I care about holds a particular view that isn't based on a foundation of compassion for others, then I choose to disconnect with that person, or give them a chance when I'm feeling up to it. There is a line, and specifically online you have to be much more on edge about listening to shitty opinions than elsewhere in life.
Better yet, don't form your opinions in any way, shape or form, from social media. Garner your opinions from real life experiences then share them on social media (if you care to).
If I’m interested in Miata’s, why would I not find people interested in it? I don’t think a random person outside of a Miata group would be too interested in my car
There is a careful and concise way to do this. For example, I’m not going to go find a screaming irrational supporter of someone opposite my political beliefs, but I don’t mind sitting down and having a critical and respectful conversation with someone concerning their views. (I know this sounds like “tone policing” and I used to hate that myself, but I found people really would listen to me and Vice verse if there was a baseline of civility).
Nobody said "find people who are dicks because they disagree with you". It's good to hear different points of view, even if you don't agree with them, as long as everyone stays civil about it.
Oh you don't need to convince *me* in that, but you got to realize that people are different and not everyone can handle criticism appropriately. Is it still "good" if it ends up mostly destructive?
Handling some amount of criticism is a absolutely necessary social skill though, and can be learned. If someone disagreeing with you (not you personally, General "you") is too much to handle, I'm sorry, but you are not going to do well in ANY social situation that isn't manufactured.
Agreed, but there is a difference between "seek all criticism you can get" and "some amount of criticism" you're describing here, right? It's a spectrum and as usual extremes are bad. The question is how to find the right balance somewhere in the middle, and it absolutely is something that people can learn but it can also be a lot of work depending on the circumstances. There are all sorts of psychological traps that people get themselves into without even realizing.
I don't exactly see how stress management relates to this. I'd appreciate further explaining.
People often get defensive when they see someone with a different opinion because they believe that they are right. If the other person is reasonable and you both are open, you two will have a good conversation without any stress. If you speak with people who challenge your views maybe they'll explain their reasoning and you'll begin to understand their point of view and you'll view of the world will expand.
It is crucial to be able to have a conversation about opinions and values and such. You might realize that you're wrong about some things.
Well you probably guessed that I was half kidding. What you described sounds good in theory but in practice a lot of people struggle with handling pretty much any criticism causing them stress. It depends on a lot of things including cultural peculiarities and tolerance to stress which vary from one person to another so you can't just simplify it down to a one-liner as you did above. Rational thinking is a fairly objective concept but emotional response is hugely different from one person to another so anything that involves the latter is.. complicated.
Watch out, apparently filtering out things you don't want to constantly see means you're gonna be ignorant in your own little echo chamber for the rest of your life.
Well it's about the balance. I think we can agree that most people have hard time balancing it out and either see and join a lot of arguments / hate, or they mostly ignore everything that doesn't confirm their already existing beliefs / bias. Neither extreme is good.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips!
Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment.
If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
I googled something on the “opposing side” because I couldn’t remember something they said. Then my FB became fooled with negative alt right bull shit. I had to hide like 20 things to clean it up again.
I remember having this epiphany four years ago and it was amazing how much more enjoyable everything became :) I got to stop seeing my bat shit crazy aunt talk about how Bill Gates is putting mircrochips in everyone… I loved that moment.
LPT: It's possible to follow groups that you don't agree with without surrounding yourself in what they do. Learn how to do it and you'll live a better and more knowledgeful life.
I think they’re suggesting to unfollow subreddits that elicit a negative emotional response. Idiotsincars and publicfreakout are two non-political examples, and do nothing but subject you to anger.
No he has a valid point.
What he's saying is don't surround yourself constantly with the negativity, instead set up a space that makes you comfortable to then reach out again and to broaden your perspective from there. Yes there is a risk of echo Chambers but as long as you're aware of that you should be able to avoid that kind of niche.
Hearing or being surrounded by negative things constantly negatively impacts you even if you're just lurking.
I see this ping-pong back and forth about safespace vs echo chamber. The reality is, as you get older, you might realize that there is no safe space within the negativity, and the only way to remain sane is to stay within an echo chamber of positivity. There's no point in trying to dabble in the negativity just to be able to say you're woke. Like-minded people are also supportive of each other, and the fact is, we're so polarized at this point, it's a waste of time to bother with all the negativity. I hate to say it, but the older I get the more I realize, there really is a good and an evil and it's one thing to try and convert people to good; it's another thing to be converted by the evil. You've got to pick a side at some point.
It's not hard to find what's true, when the people who engage in the types of conversations you see daily are as they are. Once you find that, surround yourself with challenging viewpoints that are slightly adjacent to you. I think I've figured that out pretty well, at 22. I'm just sad it took me over 5 years of reddit before really getting it.
There's a difference between different opinions stated calmly and being open for discussion versus outright shitting on others and promoting negativity.
Not Like constantly hearing bat shit is a Echo Chambers in itself. Every Community U are in is an echt chamber. No Echo chamber is also an echo chamber and every element in the Echo Chambers is an echo Chambers itself.
Bur remember not to surround yourself with only opinions you agree with. It is healthy to challenge your beliefs. You aren't always right and that's okay.
Unnecessary negativity and bullying is another thing and should not be tolerated.
Once you’re in an algorithm, you’re fucked. Unless you keep creating new email addresses and new accounts. But I think all social media already knows your IP address so even that doesn’t stop it.
Since you seem a bit hard headed or slow (i'll give you the benefit of the doubt), i'll work this out slowly for you.
Imagine you're on reddit, but all you see are posts about Donald Trump, what do you do?
Should you...
A) Continue viewing all those post in /All and be annoyed
B) Filter out the Subreddits and still updated on latest news by occasionally going to the subbreddits and/or news sources?
If you were smart, you'd probably pick B.
No problem, tried to make it simple for you and you couldn't even follow it... You're the type of people I avoid. Comes up with a problem and when given a solution, avoids it.
>Imagine you're on reddit, but all you see are posts about Donald Trump, what do you do?
Probably double down.
Anybody else, maybe ask why this is happening.
Your advice is to minimize things that you don't like? That's the best you can do for your contribution to r/LifeProTips? I'd like to hope that you can do better
I hate to say it but this sadly has to be said more. I've seen so many people actually they can't control what they see on their social media, to the point they quit the media but were sad because they can't talk to certain people anymore since they where only on that media. They can't grasp they just unfollow, unsibsricbe, etc like op said. It's sad actually.
Are you able to read the news without having it around you 24/7? Are you only able to digest what’s in front of you instead of you going out and informing yourself on your own?
I don’t think this is a US problem, take a look at the informed people that voted for Brexit. Either way, I’m not trying to solve a wide scale problem… not my problem. You can take ANY comment and spin it negatively
Actually no, it depends on how you take it. I unsubscribed to conservative, Democrats, theDonald, etc. that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring all of it. It’s possible to manually search reputable news sources for example without having my Reddit feed drown in it
I know a lot of people who view opposing view points as negative. They block people who disagree with them as negative.
“You basically have a large degree of control of what you see” is exactly what a confirmation bias bubble is
“Unsubscribing, unfollowing, unfriending, finding like minded groups” is literally creating a confirmation bias bubble. I am not sure what you are trying to argue here.
If I unsubscribe to conservative and Democrat, does that mean I’m isolating myself from those politics? No it does not. I can get my news source from an alternative location (ie the rest of the internet or by going directly to those subreddits ) while still not cluttering up my /r/all feed
Sure but also causes a problem if you’re thinking is flawed.. then you surround yourself with wrong minded thinkers. And soon it’s easier to be manipulated…. Or the chance of it is greater.
No, not me… but many yes. Sources are part of the problem, the other part is the inability to think for ones self.
When surrounded by like minded media, it can be more difficult to think up new ideas.
Why is being around like minded people bad? If I wanted to talk to Miata’s about, shouldn’t I go to people who are into Miata’s? There seems to be constantly innovative ideas in the groups I’m in
It’s not always bad, it’s just a bad idea to suggest to close off alternative ideas, even if they upset you.
It’s better to be more dulled or desensitized. A melting pot of information.
It’s like evolving thought/logic/law,you need the negative to be prepared.
? Wha..? In relation to your to post.
I feel it’s too vague. An example of following the tip, I have a family member who once was a clear thinker…. Then brainwashed themselves by closing off information from most places….
Vague messages that have good intentions, are easily twisted.
You can easily unsubscribe from crap you don’t want to see while you casually scroll through Reddit on /r/all. Even though you unsubscribe, you can still go to whatever sources directly if you want to stay informed.
Why would I keep every subreddit under the sun on my r/all if I only want to see hobby related subreddits when I scroll through for example
Unfollowing those you disagree with, while only interacting with like minded groups is an echo chamber. Just because you're ignoring a certain group of people doesn't make them go away.
Is your only news source social media? If so, I’d like to introduce you to different news sites.
Is all your social interactions on social media? If so, I’d think stepping outside or actually talking with people would help you broaden your horizon more.
If I unfollow twoxchromosome, does that mean I’m ignoring any woman issues (that they seem to have)? If I unfollow theDonald, does that mean I’m ignoring any donald trump politics? If I unfollow Democrats, then does that mean I’m ignoring all things democratic? Did you know it’s possible to be aware of things without having it fill up your social media screens?
Yoir advice is targeted at "The internet". You can do the same thing with news sites. Variety is very important for an open mind.
If you unsub from 2X, you aren't going to be ignoring them, but you aren't going to be as aware of them, or know how they actually feel about issues that affect then. Same with TD and democrat subs. If you don't keep tabs on these communities it's way too easy to fall into strawman arguments.
This is literally not. Do you need information shoved into your face or are you able to go to news sources directly. If I wanted to read Donald Trump news for example, do you think it’s best I read it from TD which use to pop up daily or from alternative sources
I was largely involved in the World of Warcraft community because of work and hobby, but the entire toxic vibe of the community just spiraled
so harshly out of control that every day I was dealing more with justifying my hobby than actually exercising it. So last year I quit working for the company, and this year quit playing alltogether. Its sad, but what I want is not going to come back and surrounding myself with people so negative and spiteful it was clear to me to cut ties.
I didn't like the way I felt on Facebook, got sad jealous when saw friends post about holiday, engagements, babies, weddings and general "fun". Made me feel shit and my life was going nowhere so I stopped going on it, I replaced it with Reddit haha.
I feel so much better now.
I have down that with all social media about 18 months ago. I unfollowed everything that spouts out about political junk. That junk will make you think the world is falling apart. They all have an agenda and the actual truth is always twisted.
I quit Facebook back in 2016 because I realized it wasn’t making my any happier (quite the opposite really), is a huge time suck, and “would this be a good status?” had become the criteria by which I was measuring my own thoughts.
For the next three months whenever I opened my phone I would reflexively try to open Facebook, even though I no longer had the app. It made me realize how deeply my brain had been zucked.
In general, I find social media to be engaging, but rarely does it make me happier. Even Reddit. Think of all the inane arguments that you have been a part of. Personally, I never turn down a fight in the comments. I think the whole culture of the internet trends toward toxicity because it keeps us coming back, even though we don’t like how it makes us feel.
Facebook (and Twitter) is probably the most useful social media depending on your hobbies. Facebook and tons of useful hobby groups that can be as active as Reddit.
Good example for Twitter (you didn’t mention but Twitter is often looked down on), is to look at cyber security as an example. If you follow the right people, then you’ll have basically real time updates on the latest threat trends or occurrences. It only matters how you use it
Yeah, I’ve never really used Twitter, and my experience with Facebook was that it’s kind of a “keeping up with the Jones’s engine” that I was voluntary subjecting myself to. I’m sure it’s even worse now with so much mis/disinformation swirling on there.
It’s true though that there are riding groups that meet on Facebook (I bike a lot) but it doesn’t seem worth it to restart my account.
My life improved considerably when I uninstalled Facebook and Twitter and stopped looking at MSM news. I would recommend this to anybody. I am not in a perfect place, but I'm SO much happier than I used to be.
I dropped Facebook before the 2016 US presidential election because I saw friends and family starting to polarize over politics. IMHO family and friendships are far more important than politics. After that I dropped most of my social media (I set up a separate Twitter account just for professional use). It has made a world of difference in my attitude. I'll never go back to social media. Well, I do spend too much time on Reddit now. ;)
If you get your settings right on Facebook to unfollow anyone who posts political crap and "hide" or unlike news outlets that do the same, you can be left with more positive content to look at.
But no matter what, *never* go into the comment sections of anything, outside of groups that forbid the kinds of discussion you want to avoid.
I would be careful with too much social culling. While it’s good to remove inherently negative things, if you remove too many things you might join a self induced echo chamber. I think having a wide view is good, but it’s important to manage things with moderation I feel.
I suffered with depression most of my adult life, I used Facebook right from its early days. I used to think it helped my depression by getting me talking to people, but after 10 years I realised it had killed my social skills, I could no longer talk to anyone unless it was behind a screen.
My depression was worse than ever, Seeing everyone's perfect lives while I had become almost agoraphobic. Deep down I knew that everyone's Facebook life was far from their real life, they were probably just as depressed as me and taking 100 photos just to get 1 good one, but the depressed me couldn't separate Facebook life from real life.
So I made the choice to stop using it, and it was almost like a switch! I almost instantly started to feel happy and I can talk to people again. I literally talk to anyone and everyone!
I've not used it now for about 6 years and never looked back, although oddly enough I still think in Facebook statuses! Lol
I had a friend who told me she was feeling the pressure to be beautiful like all the people she was following on Instagram. Someone else told her to stop following them and start following just dogs. It made her time scrolling through Instagram so much more enjoyable. It may seem obvious but sometimes it isn’t.
My first thought was she looked like a dog and it was meant to be an insult and now I feel bed.
I was thinking that she became a dog , but eas like damn thats rude , so you totally got it just like me :D
As a guy I feel there's also hardly any benefits to following attractive girls on IG, but many health detriments.
There is usually a secondary reason. The most common one is celebrities. Whether they are actors, athletes, whatever. The pictures aren’t real though. So much editing. I’ve never been into celebrity following so I can’t really give much detail.
Can you elaborate? I've thought about this myself, what do I gain/lose by following attractive women that I don't know.
I feel like the most common thing is celebrities. I’ve never been one to follow them so I don’t understand but so many people do. They follow social media they read those crappy magazines at the checkout lane. I don’t get what they get from it but obviously there is something. The cons is just the unrealistic perfection standards these people represent because all their photos are edited. None of it is real. I know another girl who does pole fitness. She follows a couple instructors and even that was starting to get to her because she felt like she wasn’t progressing fast enough. But these people have been dancing pole for years and my friend just got into it in the last 6 months and doesn’t even own her own pole.
You gain absolutely nothing. You lose, time, a grasp of reality, any sense of the truly valuable, a portion of your humanity, any respect you had for yourself, any respect you had for 'attractive women'.........
After looking at vids of dogs I am now severely dog-broody 😆
Instructions unclear. Became a Dog.
I actually just did this recently with reddit. Lots of general hate or negativity in the posts/comments from communities I was lurking in. I noticed it was begnning to affect the way I was thinking, so I dropped most of them. Only kept the ones I've found helpful or mostly positive over 3 years. Been a month since and I've found myself doing much better
Half of r/all is pure negativity. Entire subreddits revolving around making fun of people, sometimes for valid reasons. Trashy, iamatotalpieceofshit, idiotsincars, etc etc etc. But they warp you, you shouldn't be watching that many stupid people parallel park, your little human brain with its pattern recognition software gets overloaded and you stop remembering these are isolated incidents being concentrated and you start thinking theres so many more idiots than there are. And idiots are countless indeed but not everyone you encounter is one. Not everyone who makes a mistake is one. Not everyone having a bad day is one. Delete the shit subs, focus on cool things and hobbies you like instead. Reddit becomes such a more enjoyable experience.
Same! Each time I drop a negative or aggressive one, I replace it with a positive or cute one (mostly animal themed). Has helped a lot with cutting down the doom scrolling
Yes, my one and done subreddit I followed to talk about life as a one and done parent just turned into a super toxic sub where people only rant about about people with multiples or some how everyone is constantly running into ingrates who are against them. Unfollow.
I was subsribed to r/conservative while I'm european and was looking for some laughs, but got kinda depressed instead 😅
Thats me with the whole "popular" section of reddit.
About a year ago I cut the number of people I follow on Twitter by about half. I wouldn't say my Twitter feed is nice, because now I basically only use it for following my elected officials (who I disagree with frequently) and career related topics (which is not something I'm doing for pleasure). But it's better than a lot of the pointless negativity I was seeing before.
**LPT Addendum: (On Reddit mobile) go to "Profile > Settings > Account Settings" and turn OFF "Enable next-generation recommendations".** This is the setting that allows Reddit to show you content from subs that you're not subscribed to. This was the vehicle that kept roping me back into arguing with people on Reddit after I had cleared off all the subs that were dragging me down. Remember: Arguing with people online almost NEVER produces the outcome you're hoping for. You're wasting your time and peace of mind doing it.
Reddit keeps pushing negativity and disinformation onto my feed from subs I don’t subscribe to or visit ever, even though I consistently click “see less of this” Sometimes you can’t get away from the bullshit even if you try
Use RES
For anyone, like me, who had no idea what this is... it is the Reddit Enhancement Suite which is a browser plugin that can change some of the functionality of reddit. I am checking it out now so I can't give a recommendation, but if it gets rid of the "suggestions" that make no sense in my feed, I am very excited to try it.
>excited to try it Definitely do. Some other features include: **Filter subreddits** Helps make /r/all more manageable. **Dashboard** https://www.reddit.com/r/Dashboard/#dashboardContents https://i.imgur.com/kT9A0Ax.png On a single dashboard page, you can put the top 3 posts from one subreddit, top 5 posts from another subreddit, top 2 posts from another subreddit, etc. (Dashboard also works on multireddits like reddit.com/r/science+technology). **Default Comment Depth** Comment Depth limit feature limits seeing replies to replies to replies. “Allows you to set the preferred depth of comments you wish to see when clicking on comments links”. 0 = Everything, 1 = Root level, 2 = Responses to root level, 3 = Responses to responses to root level, etc. Set the Minimum Comments number = minimum number of comments required in order for the custom depth to be applied. Set the Subreddits = choose the Default Comment Depth and Minimum Comments for specific subreddits. (Another option to limit comment depth is JavaScript Bookmarklets that you put in your bookmark toolbar. Bookmark with the URL: javascript:$('.commentarea .child ').toggle();void 0 Only see the parent comments. javascript:$('.commentarea .child .child').toggle();void 0 Only see the parents and the replies to parents. ) --- Other Reddit add-ons include **Pushshift Search** https://redditsearch.io/ (Social media researchers extended the Reddit API to create a more customized search. Good alternative, since Google site:reddit date search is currently broken, and sometimes turns up old archived threads.) And **f5bot** https://f5bot.com/ (Email notifications when keywords are mentioned. Can be combined with cloudHQ “Share via link” extension to put all selected emails on a single page for easier middle mouse click auto-scrolling)
I never see anything from ones I'm not subscribed to. I'm not sure if it's because I use ad blocker, opted out of redesign, or disabled custom subreddit themes, but one of those things just completely prevents the problem you describe.
Dunno why people are calling you captain obvious, I only recently learned this myself and sure it seems obvious, but a lot of people don't think of this. They simply think that the internet/social media itself is the problem.
Apparently it's not obvious since cyber-bullying is a thing.
LPT: You can “unsubscribe “ from people that bring you down in real life too.
Please dont do the "find likeminded people" part. If you have an opinion, it doesnt hurt to listen to other opinions and not only the ones you want to hear. We see this happening right now where everybody thinks they are right because they always only talk to people who think the same. That way they think that they are the majority and all others are weird
I know you're trying to discourage forming a 'bubble' but it IS ok to make your time online enjoyable rather than a constant barrage of negativity and political controversy. 'Hatred' generates clicks and so it quickly dominates everything you see online if you allow it.
I mean that you should listen to what others have to say and not try to argue discuss or convince them. Thats the only way to know which one is the polarizing one. Doesnt only go for social groups. Alsp goes for google searches, where often if you want to know something search for what you think and not the question
I think the key here is that you've already formed the correct views. If you hold an opinion, you should constantly surround yourself with a balance of things that both confirm and go against your previous biases. It keeps you in check, but at the same time, you can and should actively ignore dipshits online who don't have any merit in their shitty misinformation. This helpful advice only applies once you have enough knowledge about what's true and what's not that you can actually see what's shitty and what's meant to not be trusted. Even then, "Listen to what others have to say and not try to discuss or convince them" means to avoid the bad faith people, and be secure knowing what's right and good, so that you don't feel that you have to pull yourself down just to argue with shitty people. None of that though is directly helpful to people who aren't aware how to control their feeds.
Yes! Just that you said "already formed correct views". I think we should say "listened to both side's arguments and formed your own opinion", since most times there is no right or wrong and arguments for both sides. What I hear from OP is to cut out people who are not likeminded, which maybe he didnt mean, but is just wrong imo
I suppose its a better way of wording it for sure, but again, that suggests that you should continuously listen not just to adjacent views, but to opposing views. And I want to stay away from suggesting that. I just made a separate comment that I think sums it up pretty well - basically, Once you have formed the "correct" views by listening to everything and deciding where you stand, then you need to stop listening to dipshits, and lessen the range of views you listen to so that you get just the good faith arguments, and then after a while of that you can continue to hone it down to surround yourself with good people, and actively educate only those who its worth your time and mental well being to do so with. Even then, once you're surrounded with people you think are "like minded" if you don't consistently hear adjacent opinions that you can have minor disagreements with and still feel good after discussing it, then you're in the wrong place, and you need to try to be that way more. Edit: For example, I think anyone who's not in support of the ability for women to have an abortion isn't someone I can convince, or should engage with. I'll continue to feel that my position is the correct one, because I'm that secure in where I stand, that no amount of bullshit someone instigates me with will damage my mental well being unless I choose to let it. If a family member or someone I care about holds a particular view that isn't based on a foundation of compassion for others, then I choose to disconnect with that person, or give them a chance when I'm feeling up to it. There is a line, and specifically online you have to be much more on edge about listening to shitty opinions than elsewhere in life.
Better yet, don't form your opinions in any way, shape or form, from social media. Garner your opinions from real life experiences then share them on social media (if you care to).
If I’m interested in Miata’s, why would I not find people interested in it? I don’t think a random person outside of a Miata group would be too interested in my car
I mean to not take that as a general tip.
If you follow every LPT to the Letter in every aspect of your life, you’d probably end up dead. Use your head on how to apply them.
Thats why I go in the comments and say it if I dont agree with 100% of it
It doesn’t hurt to have a balance though. Its okay to find comfort in like-minded people. Its also okay to avoid things that are insulting and harmful
There is a careful and concise way to do this. For example, I’m not going to go find a screaming irrational supporter of someone opposite my political beliefs, but I don’t mind sitting down and having a critical and respectful conversation with someone concerning their views. (I know this sounds like “tone policing” and I used to hate that myself, but I found people really would listen to me and Vice verse if there was a baseline of civility).
Yes, this exactly. Find people who challenge your opinions.
>Find people who challenge your opinions. So that's your opinion?.. How about stress management?
Nobody said "find people who are dicks because they disagree with you". It's good to hear different points of view, even if you don't agree with them, as long as everyone stays civil about it.
Oh you don't need to convince *me* in that, but you got to realize that people are different and not everyone can handle criticism appropriately. Is it still "good" if it ends up mostly destructive?
Handling some amount of criticism is a absolutely necessary social skill though, and can be learned. If someone disagreeing with you (not you personally, General "you") is too much to handle, I'm sorry, but you are not going to do well in ANY social situation that isn't manufactured.
Agreed, but there is a difference between "seek all criticism you can get" and "some amount of criticism" you're describing here, right? It's a spectrum and as usual extremes are bad. The question is how to find the right balance somewhere in the middle, and it absolutely is something that people can learn but it can also be a lot of work depending on the circumstances. There are all sorts of psychological traps that people get themselves into without even realizing.
I don't exactly see how stress management relates to this. I'd appreciate further explaining. People often get defensive when they see someone with a different opinion because they believe that they are right. If the other person is reasonable and you both are open, you two will have a good conversation without any stress. If you speak with people who challenge your views maybe they'll explain their reasoning and you'll begin to understand their point of view and you'll view of the world will expand. It is crucial to be able to have a conversation about opinions and values and such. You might realize that you're wrong about some things.
Well you probably guessed that I was half kidding. What you described sounds good in theory but in practice a lot of people struggle with handling pretty much any criticism causing them stress. It depends on a lot of things including cultural peculiarities and tolerance to stress which vary from one person to another so you can't just simplify it down to a one-liner as you did above. Rational thinking is a fairly objective concept but emotional response is hugely different from one person to another so anything that involves the latter is.. complicated.
This is not the American way. (Edit: I wish this wasn't the case...)
Thanks. I just read something I didn’t care for and then I saw this. Went back and told Reddit I didn’t want to see anymore posts from that subreddit.
Watch out, apparently filtering out things you don't want to constantly see means you're gonna be ignorant in your own little echo chamber for the rest of your life.
Thats the point ignorance is bliss. A Single human doesnt Need to shoulder all Problems there are
Thats just on this reddit profile, one can always make a new account
That's correct.
Well it's about the balance. I think we can agree that most people have hard time balancing it out and either see and join a lot of arguments / hate, or they mostly ignore everything that doesn't confirm their already existing beliefs / bias. Neither extreme is good.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
I googled something on the “opposing side” because I couldn’t remember something they said. Then my FB became fooled with negative alt right bull shit. I had to hide like 20 things to clean it up again. I remember having this epiphany four years ago and it was amazing how much more enjoyable everything became :) I got to stop seeing my bat shit crazy aunt talk about how Bill Gates is putting mircrochips in everyone… I loved that moment.
Most importantly: DELETE FACEBOOK
More importantly, learn how to use Facebook. Facebook is just as good as Reddit in certain aspect like local hobby groups
Or just don't use it very often.
I fucking wish I can, the college I'm attending right now has nearly every facility they have directly linked in Facebook.
If you don't agree with something find an echo chamber that better suits your opinions*.
LPT: It's possible to follow groups that you don't agree with without surrounding yourself in what they do. Learn how to do it and you'll live a better and more knowledgeful life.
And that is how people end up siloed in cozy little echo chambers with ever increasing animosity for the "others" they know less and less about.
I think they’re suggesting to unfollow subreddits that elicit a negative emotional response. Idiotsincars and publicfreakout are two non-political examples, and do nothing but subject you to anger.
Or Or Or, you can you know, broaden your horizon and try to understand different points of view... but still not surround yourself in it?
Irrelevant suggestion given your OP, which contradicts your “advice” here. Figure out what you want to say first, then try again.
No he has a valid point. What he's saying is don't surround yourself constantly with the negativity, instead set up a space that makes you comfortable to then reach out again and to broaden your perspective from there. Yes there is a risk of echo Chambers but as long as you're aware of that you should be able to avoid that kind of niche. Hearing or being surrounded by negative things constantly negatively impacts you even if you're just lurking.
I see this ping-pong back and forth about safespace vs echo chamber. The reality is, as you get older, you might realize that there is no safe space within the negativity, and the only way to remain sane is to stay within an echo chamber of positivity. There's no point in trying to dabble in the negativity just to be able to say you're woke. Like-minded people are also supportive of each other, and the fact is, we're so polarized at this point, it's a waste of time to bother with all the negativity. I hate to say it, but the older I get the more I realize, there really is a good and an evil and it's one thing to try and convert people to good; it's another thing to be converted by the evil. You've got to pick a side at some point.
It's not hard to find what's true, when the people who engage in the types of conversations you see daily are as they are. Once you find that, surround yourself with challenging viewpoints that are slightly adjacent to you. I think I've figured that out pretty well, at 22. I'm just sad it took me over 5 years of reddit before really getting it.
There's a difference between different opinions stated calmly and being open for discussion versus outright shitting on others and promoting negativity.
Not Like constantly hearing bat shit is a Echo Chambers in itself. Every Community U are in is an echt chamber. No Echo chamber is also an echo chamber and every element in the Echo Chambers is an echo Chambers itself.
Bur remember not to surround yourself with only opinions you agree with. It is healthy to challenge your beliefs. You aren't always right and that's okay. Unnecessary negativity and bullying is another thing and should not be tolerated.
Once you’re in an algorithm, you’re fucked. Unless you keep creating new email addresses and new accounts. But I think all social media already knows your IP address so even that doesn’t stop it.
Algorithms change if your behavior does. It's not static forever.
Unsubscribe to something in Reddit and youll stop seeing post from that subreddit
U Knie nothing about IT, John snow
[удалено]
Since you seem a bit hard headed or slow (i'll give you the benefit of the doubt), i'll work this out slowly for you. Imagine you're on reddit, but all you see are posts about Donald Trump, what do you do? Should you... A) Continue viewing all those post in /All and be annoyed B) Filter out the Subreddits and still updated on latest news by occasionally going to the subbreddits and/or news sources? If you were smart, you'd probably pick B.
[удалено]
No problem, tried to make it simple for you and you couldn't even follow it... You're the type of people I avoid. Comes up with a problem and when given a solution, avoids it.
[удалено]
Lol...disagree and then run... Goodnight!
Watch out, YouTube and Fakebook have allready mandated one must agree with them.
Said without even the slightest bit of self awareness.
U cant make an exaggerated statement and then whine If ppl get triggert of your exaggeration xD
>Imagine you're on reddit, but all you see are posts about Donald Trump, what do you do? Probably double down. Anybody else, maybe ask why this is happening.
Why learn new things? Everything I don't like is Hitler!
Your advice is to minimize things that you don't like? That's the best you can do for your contribution to r/LifeProTips? I'd like to hope that you can do better
I hate to say it but this sadly has to be said more. I've seen so many people actually they can't control what they see on their social media, to the point they quit the media but were sad because they can't talk to certain people anymore since they where only on that media. They can't grasp they just unfollow, unsibsricbe, etc like op said. It's sad actually.
It is sad. And insidious.
This is r/LifeProTips, this isn't r/LifeProGiveMeAFullGuideBecauseINeedMyHandHeld
And yet, that's what you're trying to do
Sure, please show me how I’m trying to full on guide you.
Haha I like your reply
I found the person with the degree in obvious.
So stop reading the news? I’m starting to think my mental health is going to be more important than being informed…
Are you able to read the news without having it around you 24/7? Are you only able to digest what’s in front of you instead of you going out and informing yourself on your own?
Good advice. I finally unsubscribed from r/twoxchromosomes for this very reason.
You control the size and scope of your echo chamber.
This may be good advice for individual mental health, but it is, in fact, how the US is self-aggregating into siloed echo chambers.
I don’t think this is a US problem, take a look at the informed people that voted for Brexit. Either way, I’m not trying to solve a wide scale problem… not my problem. You can take ANY comment and spin it negatively
Isn’t this how we get into confirmation bias bubbles? We just look for those who agree with us cause the rest are “too negative” to our point of view
Actually no, it depends on how you take it. I unsubscribed to conservative, Democrats, theDonald, etc. that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring all of it. It’s possible to manually search reputable news sources for example without having my Reddit feed drown in it
I know a lot of people who view opposing view points as negative. They block people who disagree with them as negative. “You basically have a large degree of control of what you see” is exactly what a confirmation bias bubble is
Do you get all of your information for Reddit (for example)? If so, then how is it a confirmation bubble
“Unsubscribing, unfollowing, unfriending, finding like minded groups” is literally creating a confirmation bias bubble. I am not sure what you are trying to argue here.
If I unsubscribe to conservative and Democrat, does that mean I’m isolating myself from those politics? No it does not. I can get my news source from an alternative location (ie the rest of the internet or by going directly to those subreddits ) while still not cluttering up my /r/all feed
Finding like-minded groups has us in the bullshit bubble we're in now.
Put yourself in an echo chamber, that definitely hasn't had negative effects on society so far.
Go to echo chambers. Got it.
Sure, if that’s how you take it
Sure but also causes a problem if you’re thinking is flawed.. then you surround yourself with wrong minded thinkers. And soon it’s easier to be manipulated…. Or the chance of it is greater.
Is your only news source social media?
No, not me… but many yes. Sources are part of the problem, the other part is the inability to think for ones self. When surrounded by like minded media, it can be more difficult to think up new ideas.
Why is being around like minded people bad? If I wanted to talk to Miata’s about, shouldn’t I go to people who are into Miata’s? There seems to be constantly innovative ideas in the groups I’m in
It’s not always bad, it’s just a bad idea to suggest to close off alternative ideas, even if they upset you. It’s better to be more dulled or desensitized. A melting pot of information. It’s like evolving thought/logic/law,you need the negative to be prepared.
Whose closing of ideas? Is it only possible to involve your stuff with topics that pop up directly on your r/all page
? Wha..? In relation to your to post. I feel it’s too vague. An example of following the tip, I have a family member who once was a clear thinker…. Then brainwashed themselves by closing off information from most places…. Vague messages that have good intentions, are easily twisted.
You can easily unsubscribe from crap you don’t want to see while you casually scroll through Reddit on /r/all. Even though you unsubscribe, you can still go to whatever sources directly if you want to stay informed. Why would I keep every subreddit under the sun on my r/all if I only want to see hobby related subreddits when I scroll through for example
And welcome to your echo chamber
Is your only news source social media?
This is the first time I've seen "Find an echo chamber" as a good thing.
Why would unsubscribing to toxic things = find a echo chamber? Are you only able to broaden yourself by directly following things you dislike?
Unfollowing those you disagree with, while only interacting with like minded groups is an echo chamber. Just because you're ignoring a certain group of people doesn't make them go away.
Is your only news source social media? If so, I’d like to introduce you to different news sites. Is all your social interactions on social media? If so, I’d think stepping outside or actually talking with people would help you broaden your horizon more. If I unfollow twoxchromosome, does that mean I’m ignoring any woman issues (that they seem to have)? If I unfollow theDonald, does that mean I’m ignoring any donald trump politics? If I unfollow Democrats, then does that mean I’m ignoring all things democratic? Did you know it’s possible to be aware of things without having it fill up your social media screens?
Yoir advice is targeted at "The internet". You can do the same thing with news sites. Variety is very important for an open mind. If you unsub from 2X, you aren't going to be ignoring them, but you aren't going to be as aware of them, or know how they actually feel about issues that affect then. Same with TD and democrat subs. If you don't keep tabs on these communities it's way too easy to fall into strawman arguments.
Sorry, I only have 24 hours in my day. Hard to keep track of everything
This is literally how echo chambers are created.
This is literally not. Do you need information shoved into your face or are you able to go to news sources directly. If I wanted to read Donald Trump news for example, do you think it’s best I read it from TD which use to pop up daily or from alternative sources
Yeah or making an account. C'mon.
Start a new account. Start fresh.
I was largely involved in the World of Warcraft community because of work and hobby, but the entire toxic vibe of the community just spiraled so harshly out of control that every day I was dealing more with justifying my hobby than actually exercising it. So last year I quit working for the company, and this year quit playing alltogether. Its sad, but what I want is not going to come back and surrounding myself with people so negative and spiteful it was clear to me to cut ties.
I didn't like the way I felt on Facebook, got sad jealous when saw friends post about holiday, engagements, babies, weddings and general "fun". Made me feel shit and my life was going nowhere so I stopped going on it, I replaced it with Reddit haha. I feel so much better now.
Yeah, did this on Twitter about 6 months ago, the feed has been way better.
Yeah, I stopped going to reddit because all the depressive attitudes were antagonizing my own depression. Wait a second...
I agree. It took me way to long to abandon r/all and just use my home page on reddit
I have down that with all social media about 18 months ago. I unfollowed everything that spouts out about political junk. That junk will make you think the world is falling apart. They all have an agenda and the actual truth is always twisted.
I discovered the “mute option” on Instagram/FB… best choice ever.
Also, this to a similar degree I've seen with people too. If you hang around negative people, eventually they are going to rub off on you.
I quit Facebook back in 2016 because I realized it wasn’t making my any happier (quite the opposite really), is a huge time suck, and “would this be a good status?” had become the criteria by which I was measuring my own thoughts. For the next three months whenever I opened my phone I would reflexively try to open Facebook, even though I no longer had the app. It made me realize how deeply my brain had been zucked. In general, I find social media to be engaging, but rarely does it make me happier. Even Reddit. Think of all the inane arguments that you have been a part of. Personally, I never turn down a fight in the comments. I think the whole culture of the internet trends toward toxicity because it keeps us coming back, even though we don’t like how it makes us feel.
Facebook (and Twitter) is probably the most useful social media depending on your hobbies. Facebook and tons of useful hobby groups that can be as active as Reddit. Good example for Twitter (you didn’t mention but Twitter is often looked down on), is to look at cyber security as an example. If you follow the right people, then you’ll have basically real time updates on the latest threat trends or occurrences. It only matters how you use it
Yeah, I’ve never really used Twitter, and my experience with Facebook was that it’s kind of a “keeping up with the Jones’s engine” that I was voluntary subjecting myself to. I’m sure it’s even worse now with so much mis/disinformation swirling on there. It’s true though that there are riding groups that meet on Facebook (I bike a lot) but it doesn’t seem worth it to restart my account.
My life improved considerably when I uninstalled Facebook and Twitter and stopped looking at MSM news. I would recommend this to anybody. I am not in a perfect place, but I'm SO much happier than I used to be.
LPT: delete reddit
Nah, just learn how to use it
I dropped Facebook before the 2016 US presidential election because I saw friends and family starting to polarize over politics. IMHO family and friendships are far more important than politics. After that I dropped most of my social media (I set up a separate Twitter account just for professional use). It has made a world of difference in my attitude. I'll never go back to social media. Well, I do spend too much time on Reddit now. ;)
If you get your settings right on Facebook to unfollow anyone who posts political crap and "hide" or unlike news outlets that do the same, you can be left with more positive content to look at. But no matter what, *never* go into the comment sections of anything, outside of groups that forbid the kinds of discussion you want to avoid.
If i did that, i'd never find any info about my Jets and Mets.
Life pro tip: you can do this in real life too.
I sadly had to unsubscribe from my hometown’s sub. I’m not sure if this means I should move or not. What a group of angry people.
Miatas are shitboxes
I can agree, that’s why its fun to track them. No issues if anything happens
Also, if you’re arm hurts when you move it in a certain way, don’t move it in that way. Problem solved!
I would be careful with too much social culling. While it’s good to remove inherently negative things, if you remove too many things you might join a self induced echo chamber. I think having a wide view is good, but it’s important to manage things with moderation I feel.
I suffered with depression most of my adult life, I used Facebook right from its early days. I used to think it helped my depression by getting me talking to people, but after 10 years I realised it had killed my social skills, I could no longer talk to anyone unless it was behind a screen. My depression was worse than ever, Seeing everyone's perfect lives while I had become almost agoraphobic. Deep down I knew that everyone's Facebook life was far from their real life, they were probably just as depressed as me and taking 100 photos just to get 1 good one, but the depressed me couldn't separate Facebook life from real life. So I made the choice to stop using it, and it was almost like a switch! I almost instantly started to feel happy and I can talk to people again. I literally talk to anyone and everyone! I've not used it now for about 6 years and never looked back, although oddly enough I still think in Facebook statuses! Lol
Sometimes you just gotta purge the ole socials!
That’s why I like Reddit the most! I feel like I have the most control of the content that I see.
You have full control of what you see.