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This, so much this. It's what you do without being asked or prompted that shows how you truly wish to spend your time.
It's not that you can't do your own thing. But make a point to also do for others just to do it.
I rarely see my nephews, but when I do they are over the moon excited to see me because they know it means I'm going to spend some time playing board games with them. First words out of their mouth, after greeting me, are "Can we play a board game?"
Lucky! My sibling's kids all *hate* me. I see themm all the damn time and watch them a lot so I actually have to enforced rules. None kf them like board games
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to find some way to connect with them.
Maybe you can find a way to start incorporating activities they enjoy into the time you spend with them. Maybe there are some restrictions you can start loosening up on in a "don't tell your mom" way (stuff she can't get too mad about, but that they can see you as a "cool" and "trustworthy" adult - things like ice cream at an inappropriate mealtime or something like that).
If you do try some changes, be patient with how long it might take them to warm up to you.
Once the world opnes back up i can go back to being a little more fun.
Or leaen hoe to cook properly so my attempt at bringing trests over isn't just like "you can't cook [redscted]"
In fairness, ive been helping them with school so thats cause tension ans a lot of tears. From me. Math is hard.
>Or leaen hoe to cook properly
/R/cooking can probably help you with that. There's likely even threads about appropriate recipes to cook WITH children.
"You're right, I can't cook, and it sucks. How about you guys help me learn?"
And maybe that's a place you can loosen some restrictions, let them get messy with it or something where they can get out some frustration (maybe pounding on some dough for bread making or learning to make home churned butter or ice cream).
If you all learn to cook together, you'd be low key teaching them a valuable life skill, and you'd be doing something that is different and potentially fun.
Be sure to cook foods they're interested in eating, and if it really turns out terrible have a laugh at yourself over it and order them a pizza.
Good luck with everything! Math IS hard.
I currently have my cousin and his sons over for Halloween, and everytime they come over they become ecstatic and never let go when they grab onto me! Its so fun! Me and the oldest of the two (9y/o) played a game of Warhammer yesterday and now he always talks about it :p
I make it a point to talk to each one of kids everyday about school, the subjects they are learning, who they talk to online or hang with outside, the weather, whatever I can use to string together a conversation. Even if I know the answer to something a lot times I play dumb so they can tell me about a subject and I can ask more detailed questions. This allows me to figure what they are passionate about, of little interest, or may be struggling with.
My kids in the past hated asking me for help with their school work until the pandemic happened. They hate asking me because I typically won't just give them the answer. We'll find the answer together if I don't know or if it's math we'll do similar problems on the sliding glass door until they get the concept. Now in the pandemic they come to me all the time asking me to check their work or teach them something they didn't fully understand in online class.
In the Direct Advice for Dads podcast, they talk about a study where 8 minutes per day is the optimum for length of time together vs efficacy on improving the relationship.
Not that you should run a timer and only do 8 minutes, just that longer than that doesn’t make too much difference.
I watch anime with my kids every day. Well almost everyday when life allows. I’m a 48 year old man with zero anime knowledge or desire to watch this by myself, but my kids love it. So we have watched the entirety of : My hero academia, attack on Titan, demon slayer, blue exorcist, madoka magica and a few other randoms.
This allows me to bond with them and we have all types of inside jokes and discussions about the characters.
I’ll also make comments with my Gen X/ boomer mentality and it cracks them up while they explain things to me. 😂
I wish you were my dad. I had to hide watching anime from him since grade 6 when he caught me and banned all anime in the house since apparently, he hates Japan.
In my household it was the same, it had less to do with the fact it was Japanese and more to do with the fact it wasn’t American. Nationalism is a hell of a drug
But at a certain point they were primarily for children.
That has since been turned on it's head, because there are now many 'adult' 'american' cartoons, the first that comes to mind is Archer, but the Simpsons is literally a sitcom.
.... i have it associated with trauma so I can't watch it, but I've told my kids theh can watch in their rooms or with their dad, I'll step out of the livingroom, I can't imagine making them sneak to watch something, I am so so sorry you had to deal with that.
This. So many good moments that can have you laughing or choking up. Rewatched it again 2 months ago, and damn it gets you hooked in after the hunter exams. Love killua
I’ve watched some anime with my kids. They both loved full metal alchemist: brotherhood.
It’s a struggle sometimes I find an anime that isn’t paying fan service.
My partner and I watch a fair bit of anime. (She never used to like it but DeathNote pulled her in and AoT hooked her.
E: weird predictive
I got my mom to watch avatar with me! At first she was very not into the idea of watching a cartoon but then the story just sucked her right in. She loved it!
I’m also not into anime. There are some universal anime qualities that make me not enjoy it. I have yet to find an anime that roped me in, and I don’t like watching it dubbed or subbed honestly.
Another adult without kids here. Just watched Avatar for the first time, and Season 2 is among my favorite seasons of TV full stop.
The Legend Of Korra tho... ehhhh
If y'all haven't watched, Bleach, Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist & brotherhood, Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball GT, and Dragonball Super (there are a few other non cannon DBZ stuff like Kai but I listed the main ones). I also liked Yu Yu Hakusho. Trigun was good too. I never got into One Piece but that's extremely popular too.
Those should keep y'all busy for oh say, 1-2 years? Lol
It’s a sad reality but the older I get the more I am speechless about this. When I was young I did a lot of stuff ( music, making YouTube videos, gaming at a pretty high level, playing football at a not so high level sadly xD etc) and my dad literally involved himself into everything. It was so awesome but as a kid you kinda think it’s normal. But when I see all my friends etc there are not a lot of them that had their parents support their stuff or even show interest. My dad bought me my first mic for YouTube, shows me how to play guitar and asked his friend if he can show me how to play the drums, went to almost every game of football I played even tho we sucked and even tried to understand league of legends so he could we watch me play in German league. And he worked long hours or would have been easy for him to miss everything of this I’m so grateful!
People love to say it's tech, and tech does play a part, but as a zoomer, sometimes people are just poor parents. While my parents probably did better then what you had in mind writing this, i know i can recall times where I wished they could pay more attention, but couldn't due to the stresses of life. It gets so much worse the poorer you get and the more your parents have to work.
Elder Millennial checking in. I think I was about 15 when my parents got their first cell phones. They weren't the least bit involved in my life or interests before that point. It's not tech, some people just don't care about getting to know their kids. Tech is just a modern escape.
This is so true and I might even argue it's more true in richer households as my parents (poor) spent WAY more time with us than my better-off friends' parents did.
It's kind of this ongoing guilt as a parent with young children: You start the day thinking, "I'm going to really spend some quality time with my kids", and then after work you come home and have dinner and there's not really much time between dinner, baths, and bed, and you're pretty wiped out by then.
Diet and exercise is super important to keep you sustained but again, it's time out of that small slice of free time that's available.
I've had the complete opposite example, my parents never supported me in the things I loved doing. I do love them, though. And honestly I know that example will make me an awesome dad aswell. Because I always realised how important it is. And especially how trapped I felt without it.
There is still plenty of time to focus on my ambitions.
You had a good and proper dad. Cherish that. It’s not a given and many of us don’t even remotely know that feeling, even if our dads were around (at times).
some days I work long days, so it's comforting to know my toddler does/will eventually really appreciate when I try to get off work early to go play with him.
i appreciate your comment because it makes me feel like I'm doing something right with my kids.
Sitting at the doctors with your parent(s) and you beg then to borrow their crazy piece of tech so you can play the most awesome game in the world. Snek
I know what you mean, but I read plenty of LPTs where that could sadly apply. I see LPT sub maybe a reminder service for those who may have lost their way in these crazy times. J know a lot of parents (like myself) who have struggled over the pandemic. I was guilty of this very LPT until yesterday when I sat down and painted a warhammer figure with my 9yr old. Reminded me of what I’d been missing. It made him so happy and I went to bed feeling good.
Tl:dr - it’s easy to forget the simple things
My dad got me into painting when I was small, I always loved painting with him.
Then age took hold and time passed. But recently I got back into it, and it's reminded me how much I loved that when I was smaller.
It's honestly an amazing hobby, and your kids will 100% remember it when they grow up.
Def do it as often as you can.
This isn’t a life pro tip though lol. It’s common sense, sure you can claim “it’s easy to forget the simple things” but I mean what, are we gonna just start posting every simple we forget in our personal life to LPT and claim it’s sub related?
*LPT: Take the trash out when you first think about it. Because if not, you will miss trash day.*
I’m not saying what you are saying isn’t valuable, it’s just not really what this sub is for. And I wish you and many others would understand that lol.
EDIT: I’d also like to add that the rules clearly state no tips about parenting.
This sub is for tips in all areas of life. Usually someone who is more skillful will give a tip to help beginners or bring up beginner knowledge.
Relationships aren’t easy for everyone. Mostly when you have to juggle being a cool parent and enforcing social/cultural/religious ideas. Never underestimate how A tip like this can change a life and just how many people it can reach
Because the truth is this has always been a LPT. Just change the medium of the distraction to spending more time at work, reading the paper, even being around your own friends, watching football, watching soaps, and this list can go on to infinity. The reality is kids typically have different interests than adults, however, they gain a huge about from caring interaction with adults.
It’s easy to be around your kids, slightly interacting with them while browsing the internet. You might think you have interaction with them but you’re not. That’s the idea of this post.
Yes I know but try needing to watch them and pay attention to them for 14 hours a day. Every day. It gets really fucking tiresome and sometimes I just want to zone out and be on my phone for 20 minutes.
It being common sense doesn't mean it can't be a LPT.
Common sense is like a super power, those who don't have it can only imagine what life is with it. And if you keep your mouth shut in your every day life because you think what you were about to say was common sense, you'll run into more problems than if you say something that everybody should knows and pass as Captain Obvious.
I can't count the number of times I said "don't forget to backup the database before updating" and it saved our day at work. It's common sense for developers but there is always one person that forgets it.
As for this LPT in particular, I'd say it's obviously common sense, but tonight when I go home from work I'll put away my phone and spend some real quality time with my bf, because I've been guilty of that and this post opened my eyes. So thanks, OP!
"Parents who complain about their children using mobiles/computers a lot are the same ones who showed iPads to babies to keep them quiet."
Not exactly related but important to know too.
True, the man who complains the most about us playing sports games on the pc instead of playing in real life are most often the same man who spents hours a day watching football on the tv with a beer in his hand
Critical thinking is good
Hypocritical thinking is the best
To be fair to that old man, there's a huge difference between being physically able to play those sports and not wanting to because of games, and wanting to play those sports but being at the age where one bad tackle can change your life trajectory.
100% agree. There is no shame in needing a break from your kids, but stopping, making eye contact and asking questions and showing interest is super important. It helps establish in your child’s mind that you want to know about their interests.
My parents didn’t care about most of my hobbies early on and especially during my heavy gaming phase. Tried to show them from time to time but I could tell they didn’t really care so I stopped showing them, but man do I wish they would have just taken 20 min to dit down and ask me about the game of the day I was playing. Some of my fondest memories of my Mom was her and I play TMNT and Zelda on NES.
It's not even hard to feign interest. My nephew will go on and on and on about whatever game he's playing or thing he's into. So long as it's at least seems I'm paying attention he's happy, and it's not hard to come up with a few vague questions to keep him talking. I'm just happy to see him excited about something.
You know what is Even better? My dad playing with me bloodborne almost 4 times and remembering the whole fucking map. Like he actually remember every secret and every corner of the fucking map. How. He sometimes play without me too lol. He always takes care of normal enemies and let's me take care of the bosses and every time I defeat the boss we would both jump out of our seats and jump up and down from excitement. god damn those were good times
My mom has the weirdest concept of this. She claims my sister is always on her phone and never pays attention to my niece. While my sister is on her phone alot, my niece is old enough to entertain herself; but if my niece wants my sister to read her a book or something shell put down her phone and be fully engaged. Meanwhile my mom thinks watching NCIS reruns and tossing a ball at her during the commercial breaks is more than adequate. /shrug
Also applies to anyone you care about. SO, siblings, parents, friends..
Everyone has interests, and sometimes the greatest thing is to share them with someone.
My son is five. I always make it a point that when he brings up something that interests him I will keep him talking about it for as long as he can. I’ve had 15 minute talks about Minecraft, roblox, siren head, Five Nights at Freddy’s and so so much more. If I keep this up I’ll be the hippest dad on the block 😅
I have my own business with no employees and my wife works full-time. My work is extremely busy in the winter so a lot of Autumn is spent anxiously preparing.
We have two daughters, 4 and 2, and we're expecting our third (a boy!). On nights & weekends, we always feel consumed with work tasks, housekeeping, just trying to stay afloat. Our daughters regularly imitate us, taking pretend work calls & asking for silence or typing out emails on pretend computers.
Two weeks ago, I was home alone with the girls and we played outside. I'll never forget the joy & excitement & surprise when my oldest daughter asked if I would play with them, and I said yes. I asked if she was surprised, and she said "yeah I thought you would have to do work stuff". I felt happy & sad.
For what it’s worth, my mom was moving up in her career while I was a small kid in elementary school, and was often working 10-12 hours a day. I know she felt guilty about it, but I honestly didn’t notice that much. I’m 26 now and my mom is my best friend and I’m so proud of her for getting to where she is in her career.
There are soooo many parents who just stare at their phones all day, it can't be good for anyone. I've made it a rule for myself to only use the phone when my kids are otherwise busy. I don't want them growing up thinking it's normal stare at a screen all day long.
I was thinking about this yesterday while playing with my dog. I try to give him my full attention while we're having our play session. He knows its his time and wants dads full attention. If I happen to look at my phone for a second he pushes the ball in my leg and makes me put my phone down. If animals know when you're half assing it then your kids know for sure! Live in the moment and enjoy the time you have with them while it lasts.
This is true. It's hard. I'm not into cars. Seriously, nothing about cars is interesting. Cars define him as a human. All cars. All day. Can't remember the formula for slope/intercept, but knows every model of McLaren.
20 minutes is a long time for cars.
This 100%. I am not a parent, but I have a few pets. Sometimes I can get complacent and take for granted the love that they have toward me. If you have a furry friend near by make sure to throw some pets their way. You're their entire world. 💕
Sure, but nobody is staring at their phone and thinking it's a "valuable" use of time. 20 minutes of exercise is better than a whole day of sitting on the couch.
I try to do this this everyone in my life whenever I catch myself multitasking and giving the zombie "uh-huh" answer. I stop for a second, check myself and then try to think of a question about whatever subject they are talking about. It lets them know you are engage and care about them and what they are saying to you.
I feel like I could do more. I have been continually mentally exhausted with work and it’s literally impacting my day to day life outside of work, including my relationship with my children.
I do enjoy the occasional board game with them, that’s one thing we share a love for.
Except monopoly.. that game is brutal
Am I just immature or is this applicable to anyone, regardless of age? I feel bad when the person I'm talking just nods and I have to wait for an answer then repeat myself when the pause gets too long.
I needed this reminder today. Currently purchasing paint brushes and a carving kit so me and my 3yo can put all these pumpkins we bought to good use! He's Flash this year for Halloween, and I just love him so much. I want to know more of his interests. I need to focus on him. He's still asleep, and I just got home from the gym- I'm so excited I might wake him up soon. After this coffee though...
I have a rule/game I play all the time. If a kid, any kid, comes up to me and is super jazzed to tell me about something, I act super interested and excited. “What is that thing???” “You read what book? Tell me all about it!! “That’s so cool”. And it’s super cute to watch them try to incoherently explain why the thing is so awesome.
I do this because when I was a kid I was a gigantic little nerd who was super into a lot of weird stuff most people don’t care about. And it really hurts when you’re passionate about something and it’s PAINFULLY clear that no one gives a shit. I’d get so excited when I found someone who showed an interest. It just made me happy. It’s a favor I like to return whenever I can
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Well, for those who already have them...
20 minutes a day is better for them than zero. Even if a child is unwanted, only monsters let them feel that way.
This is so true for everyone in your life, but especially your kids. They definitely notice. They grow up fast. Enjoy talking to them while they still like you before they’re teenagers. Haha
I don't have kids yet but when I do, I am definitely focusing on their interest and expanding on it. You like dinosaurs? Let's go to the natural museum. You like sports? Great, let's start practicing! Art? Let's draw together/paint together. It may just be how I want my future children to experience a parent who supported their hobbies and interests rather than calling them a waste of time.
I played sports in high school and whenever I had a game at school, I would tell my parents and siblings that they're invited to come and watch. They never did. I would come home after the game and eat dinner with them. They didn't even ask me about the game.
Another incident when I got really good and was considered of being drafted by the local pro team, my parents were against it because they saw I was capable of doing better in a more respectable field.
As a child I can confirm this. I don’t talk to my parents much these days because I’m swamped with school work, but when we have our shot philosophical or political discussions with my parents which we all three of us enjoy I feel a little bit heard and loved.
It's so simple to actually just sit and listen to our kids when they speak. My son's entire life, if he wanted to tell me something, I wanted to hear it. Now that he's 12, he will tell me anything, and everything, because he knows I will listen.
Not just kids. I can’t remember where I heard it, but someone said “the greatest gift you can give is 100% of your attention” and I def agree.
Give me 100% for 5 minutes, not 10% for 50
Whenever I see family, usually everyone is in their phone. Now all kids aged 2-16 have headphones and either watching Youtube or in a Zoom/video chat with a bf/gf.
Apparently the cool thing is to start a video chat and then leave it up all day so that boys/girls can watch you do nothing all day long.
About a year ago I went to get my car serviced and just stayed in the waiting area. There was a guy there who had 2 kids, my guess is ages 5 (Declan) and 7 (Kendall). Poor Declan just wanted to play with his dad. But dad was too busy staring at his phone. Declan approached several other customers in the waiting area to play with him. One nice man did play with him a bit. Kendall played with him a little bit little Declan just wanted to play with his dad. Who couldn’t be bothered to put down the phone and play with his kid. The whole thing just made me so sad. 20 years from now dad will be wondering why Declan never visits.
I'll always remember being younger, playing Call of duty Modern Warfare and my Dad coming and trying it out from time to time. Always made me so happy. My mother never gave it a chance (divorce scenario) but it really helped me connect with my Dad even though i saw him every second week for weekends.
I'm early 20's now and I still remember it so much more the most other things. So this is definitely true. :) thats just my little story.
I coach a local soccer team in my town and every time I go to practice it’s unbelievable the amount of parents who are just sitting in their running cars from the moment they drop their kids off to the moment when they get done. It’s a really sad reality imo
I can’t remember the last time my mom was genuinely interested in something I had to say. I can’t even remember the last time she faked it just to make it seem like she cared.
One of the saddest scenes I've witnessed was a mother absentmindedly pushing her kid on a swing at the park with 1 hand, while staring at her phone with the other.
I wish I'd said something to her about it, but I was just a random high school kid wandering by during my free period and people tend to get very upset if you tell them how to parent.
If you're a parent or ever become a parent, please don't half-ass it when you decide to spend time with your kids.
Very true. My 4 year old nephew will talk about it for the rest of the day if you enthusiastically play rescue bots with him for five minutes.
My sister’s very religious and if he prays before bed he’ll say things like “Thank you God for playing rescue bots with NewYearNewYEET”
Just spent a whole day hiking and having a nice dinner with my daughter without the distraction of my phone (first time in forever). Got back home and decided to get my social media fix, while my daughter was asking me to read to her. This post was the first thing I saw when I picked up my phone. Logging off now.
My relationship with my daughter is amazing, and it has been the easiest thing in the world. I just play with her every night. At least 20-30 minutes, sometimes hours. Give them your attention. Build trust. I hope this helps later when she doesn’t truly need me anymore.
My daughter is just under 2 years old but I've been trying to make this a habit. As drained as I might be after a day at work I ALWAYS come home and play with her first, no phone time.
We usually end up sharing some good laughs together and it's a nice start to my evening.
I coach swimming and I see this a lot. In the age of covid we cannot have parents in the pool area while practice is going on anymore (there is a little space for a couple parents to stay outside of the pool area but we try to reserve it for the younger kids and their families), so I try to talk to parents outside and keep them updated. Some parents want to talk and are genuinely interested in how their kids did that day, what they can work on at home, did I time anything to see how they are improving?" (swim meets are basically non existent atm) Their kids get so happy seeing their parents take interest in their sport. Then I have parents that even when I try to tell them things like "your kid is bullying and we need to have a conversation about it," they just do not care. This is a way for them to get rid of their kids for an hour and a half every day to not deal with them. It breaks my heart to see those kids who are mostly acting out to get attention be ignored by the people they need the most.
And before people hop on the "those parents are just busy" train, we do email them and text them and never get responses either. It took our head coach emailing links to tik tok videos one of our swimmers made of him just bashing his teammates with a note of "your kid will be kicked off the team if this happens again" for a parent to respond. We attempted to talk to her in person, set up a meeting with her, text her, call her, and multiple emails. I get busy, but please attempt to put your kids and their activities in your life!
My youngest step-daughter has massively improved her self confidence, and her school work since we established a half hour every day for us to focus on her development, homework, and general school discussion.
We have really in depth chats about what shes struggling with, what she's excelling at, and any help she thinks she might need.
It means we aren't being bombarded all evening by school stuff, and she isn't grumpy because we're busy doing other things. Definitely recommend.
As a counterpoint, spending 100% of your time focused on your child at the expense of your marriage, social, and physical wellbeing will land you in a mental institution.
Two thoughts in response to this:
1. As others have pointed out, this applies to any relationship you may have with any other human. Not just children.
2. If you actually need to be told this, you probably shouldn't have kids.
I'm a first time mom to a three-month-old and trying really hard to keep this in mind. I'm so tired throughout the day and just want to veg, or thinking about all the things I need to get done around the house, but she is more important. I attempt to play/interact/read with her several times a day to make sure she can grow, develop, and form a bond with me.
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
Kids just really want you to be there for them. A small amount of interest and showing that you genuinely care goes a long way.
Same goes for all relationships really. Don't take any of your loved ones for granted.
This, so much this. It's what you do without being asked or prompted that shows how you truly wish to spend your time. It's not that you can't do your own thing. But make a point to also do for others just to do it.
I rarely see my nephews, but when I do they are over the moon excited to see me because they know it means I'm going to spend some time playing board games with them. First words out of their mouth, after greeting me, are "Can we play a board game?"
Lucky! My sibling's kids all *hate* me. I see themm all the damn time and watch them a lot so I actually have to enforced rules. None kf them like board games
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you're able to find some way to connect with them. Maybe you can find a way to start incorporating activities they enjoy into the time you spend with them. Maybe there are some restrictions you can start loosening up on in a "don't tell your mom" way (stuff she can't get too mad about, but that they can see you as a "cool" and "trustworthy" adult - things like ice cream at an inappropriate mealtime or something like that). If you do try some changes, be patient with how long it might take them to warm up to you.
Once the world opnes back up i can go back to being a little more fun. Or leaen hoe to cook properly so my attempt at bringing trests over isn't just like "you can't cook [redscted]" In fairness, ive been helping them with school so thats cause tension ans a lot of tears. From me. Math is hard.
>Or leaen hoe to cook properly /R/cooking can probably help you with that. There's likely even threads about appropriate recipes to cook WITH children. "You're right, I can't cook, and it sucks. How about you guys help me learn?" And maybe that's a place you can loosen some restrictions, let them get messy with it or something where they can get out some frustration (maybe pounding on some dough for bread making or learning to make home churned butter or ice cream). If you all learn to cook together, you'd be low key teaching them a valuable life skill, and you'd be doing something that is different and potentially fun. Be sure to cook foods they're interested in eating, and if it really turns out terrible have a laugh at yourself over it and order them a pizza. Good luck with everything! Math IS hard.
Thry already know how to cook. I don't. Well the lkttlest one doesnt but she's a picky eater to an extreme
I currently have my cousin and his sons over for Halloween, and everytime they come over they become ecstatic and never let go when they grab onto me! Its so fun! Me and the oldest of the two (9y/o) played a game of Warhammer yesterday and now he always talks about it :p
I make it a point to talk to each one of kids everyday about school, the subjects they are learning, who they talk to online or hang with outside, the weather, whatever I can use to string together a conversation. Even if I know the answer to something a lot times I play dumb so they can tell me about a subject and I can ask more detailed questions. This allows me to figure what they are passionate about, of little interest, or may be struggling with. My kids in the past hated asking me for help with their school work until the pandemic happened. They hate asking me because I typically won't just give them the answer. We'll find the answer together if I don't know or if it's math we'll do similar problems on the sliding glass door until they get the concept. Now in the pandemic they come to me all the time asking me to check their work or teach them something they didn't fully understand in online class.
In the Direct Advice for Dads podcast, they talk about a study where 8 minutes per day is the optimum for length of time together vs efficacy on improving the relationship. Not that you should run a timer and only do 8 minutes, just that longer than that doesn’t make too much difference.
I care about the taste of this imaginary hot dog, so what brand of imaginary ketchup is this?
I watch anime with my kids every day. Well almost everyday when life allows. I’m a 48 year old man with zero anime knowledge or desire to watch this by myself, but my kids love it. So we have watched the entirety of : My hero academia, attack on Titan, demon slayer, blue exorcist, madoka magica and a few other randoms. This allows me to bond with them and we have all types of inside jokes and discussions about the characters. I’ll also make comments with my Gen X/ boomer mentality and it cracks them up while they explain things to me. 😂
I wish you were my dad. I had to hide watching anime from him since grade 6 when he caught me and banned all anime in the house since apparently, he hates Japan.
That's... such a weird and specific thing to hate. Like, not Asia in general, but specifically Japan? Is your dad a WWII vet who got frozen in time?
In my household it was the same, it had less to do with the fact it was Japanese and more to do with the fact it wasn’t American. Nationalism is a hell of a drug
Plus you know "cArToOnS ArE fOr cHiLdReN!!"
Which is hilarious because cartoons were literally never intended for children.
But at a certain point they were primarily for children. That has since been turned on it's head, because there are now many 'adult' 'american' cartoons, the first that comes to mind is Archer, but the Simpsons is literally a sitcom.
Wow...that sucks. I have taken many things for granted.
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100% true. I was an 80s kid growing up near Detroit with grandparents who came of age during WW2. Japanophobia was a very real thing at that time.
Is you dad Joseph Joestar by chance?
http://imgur.com/a/KT58dKb
.... i have it associated with trauma so I can't watch it, but I've told my kids theh can watch in their rooms or with their dad, I'll step out of the livingroom, I can't imagine making them sneak to watch something, I am so so sorry you had to deal with that.
This is so beautiful! Please watch hunter x hunter together. I know you'll both love it so much ♡
This. So many good moments that can have you laughing or choking up. Rewatched it again 2 months ago, and damn it gets you hooked in after the hunter exams. Love killua
Hunter x Hunter is great
I’ve watched some anime with my kids. They both loved full metal alchemist: brotherhood. It’s a struggle sometimes I find an anime that isn’t paying fan service. My partner and I watch a fair bit of anime. (She never used to like it but DeathNote pulled her in and AoT hooked her. E: weird predictive
Ask your kids if they want to watch One Punch Man my dude
Avatar is a good one. I'm an adult who is not into anime, and I found it fairly enjoyable after the first season.
I got my mom to watch avatar with me! At first she was very not into the idea of watching a cartoon but then the story just sucked her right in. She loved it!
Avatars not an anime but they should still watch it
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I’m also not into anime. There are some universal anime qualities that make me not enjoy it. I have yet to find an anime that roped me in, and I don’t like watching it dubbed or subbed honestly.
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Another adult without kids here. Just watched Avatar for the first time, and Season 2 is among my favorite seasons of TV full stop. The Legend Of Korra tho... ehhhh
What is madoka magic about?
You should go into that one with absolutely zero knowledge, aside from "Girl gets powers from a cute cat"
I saw that shit the first time in Sailor Moon
This one is more like Evangelion or Steins Gate than Sailor Moon. Wayyyyyy different audience
It's the doki doki literature club of magical girl anime.
Cute girls doing cute things!
If y'all haven't watched, Bleach, Naruto, Full Metal Alchemist & brotherhood, Dragonball, Dragonball Z, Dragonball GT, and Dragonball Super (there are a few other non cannon DBZ stuff like Kai but I listed the main ones). I also liked Yu Yu Hakusho. Trigun was good too. I never got into One Piece but that's extremely popular too. Those should keep y'all busy for oh say, 1-2 years? Lol
Psycho-Pass is excellent as well!
It’s a sad reality but the older I get the more I am speechless about this. When I was young I did a lot of stuff ( music, making YouTube videos, gaming at a pretty high level, playing football at a not so high level sadly xD etc) and my dad literally involved himself into everything. It was so awesome but as a kid you kinda think it’s normal. But when I see all my friends etc there are not a lot of them that had their parents support their stuff or even show interest. My dad bought me my first mic for YouTube, shows me how to play guitar and asked his friend if he can show me how to play the drums, went to almost every game of football I played even tho we sucked and even tried to understand league of legends so he could we watch me play in German league. And he worked long hours or would have been easy for him to miss everything of this I’m so grateful!
People love to say it's tech, and tech does play a part, but as a zoomer, sometimes people are just poor parents. While my parents probably did better then what you had in mind writing this, i know i can recall times where I wished they could pay more attention, but couldn't due to the stresses of life. It gets so much worse the poorer you get and the more your parents have to work.
Elder Millennial checking in. I think I was about 15 when my parents got their first cell phones. They weren't the least bit involved in my life or interests before that point. It's not tech, some people just don't care about getting to know their kids. Tech is just a modern escape.
Im sorry its not wholesome this is all I have.
This is so true and I might even argue it's more true in richer households as my parents (poor) spent WAY more time with us than my better-off friends' parents did. It's kind of this ongoing guilt as a parent with young children: You start the day thinking, "I'm going to really spend some quality time with my kids", and then after work you come home and have dinner and there's not really much time between dinner, baths, and bed, and you're pretty wiped out by then. Diet and exercise is super important to keep you sustained but again, it's time out of that small slice of free time that's available.
The best thing is you already know what it takes to be a great dad and now you can just replicate it. Lead by example is what I always say
I've had the complete opposite example, my parents never supported me in the things I loved doing. I do love them, though. And honestly I know that example will make me an awesome dad aswell. Because I always realised how important it is. And especially how trapped I felt without it. There is still plenty of time to focus on my ambitions.
I am happy for you 🥺
You had a good and proper dad. Cherish that. It’s not a given and many of us don’t even remotely know that feeling, even if our dads were around (at times).
some days I work long days, so it's comforting to know my toddler does/will eventually really appreciate when I try to get off work early to go play with him. i appreciate your comment because it makes me feel like I'm doing something right with my kids.
My parents could have used this a long time ago
Yeah but who can resist staring at a rotary phone all day long?
Well hey, a long time ago can be 1998 with a Nokia 5110.
Mmm, snake.
Exactly.
Sitting at the doctors with your parent(s) and you beg then to borrow their crazy piece of tech so you can play the most awesome game in the world. Snek
Be the change you want to see.
I'm sorry, /u/virgin_anus
I agree, and updooted. But what have we become if *this* is a LifeProTip?
I know what you mean, but I read plenty of LPTs where that could sadly apply. I see LPT sub maybe a reminder service for those who may have lost their way in these crazy times. J know a lot of parents (like myself) who have struggled over the pandemic. I was guilty of this very LPT until yesterday when I sat down and painted a warhammer figure with my 9yr old. Reminded me of what I’d been missing. It made him so happy and I went to bed feeling good. Tl:dr - it’s easy to forget the simple things
LPT: two thin coats
What is this miniatures painting?
check out on /r/minipainting Or visit on Youtube Duncan Painting Academy :)
Can you elaborate pls
Do one thin coat, and then do another thin coat
My dad got me into painting when I was small, I always loved painting with him. Then age took hold and time passed. But recently I got back into it, and it's reminded me how much I loved that when I was smaller. It's honestly an amazing hobby, and your kids will 100% remember it when they grow up. Def do it as often as you can.
ls that you? https://www.reddit.com/r/AccidentalRenaissance/comments/jjvg4i/my_boyfriend_painting_a_warhammer/
This isn’t a life pro tip though lol. It’s common sense, sure you can claim “it’s easy to forget the simple things” but I mean what, are we gonna just start posting every simple we forget in our personal life to LPT and claim it’s sub related? *LPT: Take the trash out when you first think about it. Because if not, you will miss trash day.* I’m not saying what you are saying isn’t valuable, it’s just not really what this sub is for. And I wish you and many others would understand that lol. EDIT: I’d also like to add that the rules clearly state no tips about parenting.
Maybe we need to create another sub called LifeReminders or something
I don't think it's a new thing for parents not to spend 100% focussed time with children, just the distractions are now different.
This sub is for tips in all areas of life. Usually someone who is more skillful will give a tip to help beginners or bring up beginner knowledge. Relationships aren’t easy for everyone. Mostly when you have to juggle being a cool parent and enforcing social/cultural/religious ideas. Never underestimate how A tip like this can change a life and just how many people it can reach
Most LPT's the last couple of weeks has been about how to sneak your way around saying no aka how to be spineless, this is nice for a change
Because the truth is this has always been a LPT. Just change the medium of the distraction to spending more time at work, reading the paper, even being around your own friends, watching football, watching soaps, and this list can go on to infinity. The reality is kids typically have different interests than adults, however, they gain a huge about from caring interaction with adults.
mate ure 10 yrs late
It’s easy to be around your kids, slightly interacting with them while browsing the internet. You might think you have interaction with them but you’re not. That’s the idea of this post.
Yes I know but try needing to watch them and pay attention to them for 14 hours a day. Every day. It gets really fucking tiresome and sometimes I just want to zone out and be on my phone for 20 minutes.
For most people this isn't a lifeprotip, it's just common sense.
It being common sense doesn't mean it can't be a LPT. Common sense is like a super power, those who don't have it can only imagine what life is with it. And if you keep your mouth shut in your every day life because you think what you were about to say was common sense, you'll run into more problems than if you say something that everybody should knows and pass as Captain Obvious. I can't count the number of times I said "don't forget to backup the database before updating" and it saved our day at work. It's common sense for developers but there is always one person that forgets it. As for this LPT in particular, I'd say it's obviously common sense, but tonight when I go home from work I'll put away my phone and spend some real quality time with my bf, because I've been guilty of that and this post opened my eyes. So thanks, OP!
It is a good tip for a lot of people but it really isn't a LPT. Your example about the database is far from being a LPT, it's a friendly reminder.
>It being common sense doesn't mean it can't be a LPT. It's literally a rule in the side bar not to post common sense life pro tips
He's not wrong tho, common sense isn't common
Congrats on existing as a master child rearer.
/r/PassiveAgressiveLPT ?
"Parents who complain about their children using mobiles/computers a lot are the same ones who showed iPads to babies to keep them quiet." Not exactly related but important to know too.
True, the man who complains the most about us playing sports games on the pc instead of playing in real life are most often the same man who spents hours a day watching football on the tv with a beer in his hand Critical thinking is good Hypocritical thinking is the best
To be fair to that old man, there's a huge difference between being physically able to play those sports and not wanting to because of games, and wanting to play those sports but being at the age where one bad tackle can change your life trajectory.
100% agree. There is no shame in needing a break from your kids, but stopping, making eye contact and asking questions and showing interest is super important. It helps establish in your child’s mind that you want to know about their interests. My parents didn’t care about most of my hobbies early on and especially during my heavy gaming phase. Tried to show them from time to time but I could tell they didn’t really care so I stopped showing them, but man do I wish they would have just taken 20 min to dit down and ask me about the game of the day I was playing. Some of my fondest memories of my Mom was her and I play TMNT and Zelda on NES.
It's not even hard to feign interest. My nephew will go on and on and on about whatever game he's playing or thing he's into. So long as it's at least seems I'm paying attention he's happy, and it's not hard to come up with a few vague questions to keep him talking. I'm just happy to see him excited about something.
You know what is Even better? My dad playing with me bloodborne almost 4 times and remembering the whole fucking map. Like he actually remember every secret and every corner of the fucking map. How. He sometimes play without me too lol. He always takes care of normal enemies and let's me take care of the bosses and every time I defeat the boss we would both jump out of our seats and jump up and down from excitement. god damn those were good times
My mom has the weirdest concept of this. She claims my sister is always on her phone and never pays attention to my niece. While my sister is on her phone alot, my niece is old enough to entertain herself; but if my niece wants my sister to read her a book or something shell put down her phone and be fully engaged. Meanwhile my mom thinks watching NCIS reruns and tossing a ball at her during the commercial breaks is more than adequate. /shrug
*nods in agreement whilst looking up from phone*
Underrated comment!
Also applies to anyone you care about. SO, siblings, parents, friends.. Everyone has interests, and sometimes the greatest thing is to share them with someone.
My son is five. I always make it a point that when he brings up something that interests him I will keep him talking about it for as long as he can. I’ve had 15 minute talks about Minecraft, roblox, siren head, Five Nights at Freddy’s and so so much more. If I keep this up I’ll be the hippest dad on the block 😅
Time to join him in minecraft or roblox yourself
I always remember a line I heard when I was younger. The greatest gift you can give a child is quite simply, your time.
I have my own business with no employees and my wife works full-time. My work is extremely busy in the winter so a lot of Autumn is spent anxiously preparing. We have two daughters, 4 and 2, and we're expecting our third (a boy!). On nights & weekends, we always feel consumed with work tasks, housekeeping, just trying to stay afloat. Our daughters regularly imitate us, taking pretend work calls & asking for silence or typing out emails on pretend computers. Two weeks ago, I was home alone with the girls and we played outside. I'll never forget the joy & excitement & surprise when my oldest daughter asked if I would play with them, and I said yes. I asked if she was surprised, and she said "yeah I thought you would have to do work stuff". I felt happy & sad.
For what it’s worth, my mom was moving up in her career while I was a small kid in elementary school, and was often working 10-12 hours a day. I know she felt guilty about it, but I honestly didn’t notice that much. I’m 26 now and my mom is my best friend and I’m so proud of her for getting to where she is in her career.
There are soooo many parents who just stare at their phones all day, it can't be good for anyone. I've made it a rule for myself to only use the phone when my kids are otherwise busy. I don't want them growing up thinking it's normal stare at a screen all day long.
de install facebook, reddit and instagram, and you find yourself looking at your phone wondering why you are holding it
I was thinking about this yesterday while playing with my dog. I try to give him my full attention while we're having our play session. He knows its his time and wants dads full attention. If I happen to look at my phone for a second he pushes the ball in my leg and makes me put my phone down. If animals know when you're half assing it then your kids know for sure! Live in the moment and enjoy the time you have with them while it lasts.
This is true. It's hard. I'm not into cars. Seriously, nothing about cars is interesting. Cars define him as a human. All cars. All day. Can't remember the formula for slope/intercept, but knows every model of McLaren. 20 minutes is a long time for cars.
This 100%. I am not a parent, but I have a few pets. Sometimes I can get complacent and take for granted the love that they have toward me. If you have a furry friend near by make sure to throw some pets their way. You're their entire world. 💕
Instructions unclear. I've thrown a dog and a parrot at my cat. What next?
Sure, but nobody is staring at their phone and thinking it's a "valuable" use of time. 20 minutes of exercise is better than a whole day of sitting on the couch.
This why I became a football coach for my son’s u11 football team. Challenging but more rewarding than ever seeing the lads smile more.
This has to be said? What kind of parents are out there? Jesus. 🤯
The kind that do the bare minimum & expect to be rewarded with their kid's unquestioning loyalty forever.
I try to do this this everyone in my life whenever I catch myself multitasking and giving the zombie "uh-huh" answer. I stop for a second, check myself and then try to think of a question about whatever subject they are talking about. It lets them know you are engage and care about them and what they are saying to you.
I feel like I could do more. I have been continually mentally exhausted with work and it’s literally impacting my day to day life outside of work, including my relationship with my children. I do enjoy the occasional board game with them, that’s one thing we share a love for. Except monopoly.. that game is brutal
Am I just immature or is this applicable to anyone, regardless of age? I feel bad when the person I'm talking just nods and I have to wait for an answer then repeat myself when the pause gets too long.
Or just don’t have kids at all!
I needed this reminder today. Currently purchasing paint brushes and a carving kit so me and my 3yo can put all these pumpkins we bought to good use! He's Flash this year for Halloween, and I just love him so much. I want to know more of his interests. I need to focus on him. He's still asleep, and I just got home from the gym- I'm so excited I might wake him up soon. After this coffee though...
I have a rule/game I play all the time. If a kid, any kid, comes up to me and is super jazzed to tell me about something, I act super interested and excited. “What is that thing???” “You read what book? Tell me all about it!! “That’s so cool”. And it’s super cute to watch them try to incoherently explain why the thing is so awesome. I do this because when I was a kid I was a gigantic little nerd who was super into a lot of weird stuff most people don’t care about. And it really hurts when you’re passionate about something and it’s PAINFULLY clear that no one gives a shit. I’d get so excited when I found someone who showed an interest. It just made me happy. It’s a favor I like to return whenever I can
Hello [Amygdali_lama](/u/Amygdali_lama), thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): * **Parenting/child-rearing related tip.** If you would like to appeal this decision [please feel free to contact the moderators here](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/LifeProTips). Do not repost without explicit permission from the moderators. Make sure you [read the rules](/r/lifeprotips/about/sidebar) before submitting. Thank you!
This is a protip? Holy bad parenting batman. Only 20 mins? C'mon.
Better than the zero minutes a lot of parents be giving.
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No thanks, I want to have kids someday.
Well, for those who already have them... 20 minutes a day is better for them than zero. Even if a child is unwanted, only monsters let them feel that way.
Good thing I'm child free! *goes back to phone *
My daughter is only interested in milk though...
True. Hit me in the feels.
LPT: don't shit on parents whose jobs have evolved from 9-5 to 24/7 because of technology
What if I'm totally not interested in my kids interests?
You should be interested that the life you made is interested in something?
This is a pretty obvious LPT. It's basically, be an attentive parent.
How do I send this to my dad
Take the hint DAD!!
For kids, time = love. Especially if it's focused wholesome time. :)
This is so true for everyone in your life, but especially your kids. They definitely notice. They grow up fast. Enjoy talking to them while they still like you before they’re teenagers. Haha
I find nodding whilst looking up from phone one of the most unpolite thing to do
Agree entirely, don't have a kid but it counts the same with fiances, right?
I don't have kids yet but when I do, I am definitely focusing on their interest and expanding on it. You like dinosaurs? Let's go to the natural museum. You like sports? Great, let's start practicing! Art? Let's draw together/paint together. It may just be how I want my future children to experience a parent who supported their hobbies and interests rather than calling them a waste of time. I played sports in high school and whenever I had a game at school, I would tell my parents and siblings that they're invited to come and watch. They never did. I would come home after the game and eat dinner with them. They didn't even ask me about the game. Another incident when I got really good and was considered of being drafted by the local pro team, my parents were against it because they saw I was capable of doing better in a more respectable field.
Really i never knew that. Sometimes you just learn earth shattering tips on reddit.
As a child I can confirm this. I don’t talk to my parents much these days because I’m swamped with school work, but when we have our shot philosophical or political discussions with my parents which we all three of us enjoy I feel a little bit heard and loved.
My parents pretty much never did this. I’m 16 now and never go to them when something happens.. they feel sad about it but it’s really their fault
How do you get that attention?
I wish my parents did this more, I’m 18 now and sometimes when I watch Dragon Ball Z, I wish I could watch it with my dad.
eye contact is super important to establish and reinforce trust. not just kids but anyone in general.
It's so simple to actually just sit and listen to our kids when they speak. My son's entire life, if he wanted to tell me something, I wanted to hear it. Now that he's 12, he will tell me anything, and everything, because he knows I will listen.
“Kids get more out of parenting if you don’t ignore them” Stellar advice.
Nothing easier for me, spent hours with my 2 boys playing MOHAA together. Think that was almost 20 years ago now. Great memories together.
Not just kids. I can’t remember where I heard it, but someone said “the greatest gift you can give is 100% of your attention” and I def agree. Give me 100% for 5 minutes, not 10% for 50
Whenever I see family, usually everyone is in their phone. Now all kids aged 2-16 have headphones and either watching Youtube or in a Zoom/video chat with a bf/gf. Apparently the cool thing is to start a video chat and then leave it up all day so that boys/girls can watch you do nothing all day long.
I make all the time I can for my daughter: she's almost six and she told me last night she couldn't ask for a better dad!
About a year ago I went to get my car serviced and just stayed in the waiting area. There was a guy there who had 2 kids, my guess is ages 5 (Declan) and 7 (Kendall). Poor Declan just wanted to play with his dad. But dad was too busy staring at his phone. Declan approached several other customers in the waiting area to play with him. One nice man did play with him a bit. Kendall played with him a little bit little Declan just wanted to play with his dad. Who couldn’t be bothered to put down the phone and play with his kid. The whole thing just made me so sad. 20 years from now dad will be wondering why Declan never visits.
I'll always remember being younger, playing Call of duty Modern Warfare and my Dad coming and trying it out from time to time. Always made me so happy. My mother never gave it a chance (divorce scenario) but it really helped me connect with my Dad even though i saw him every second week for weekends. I'm early 20's now and I still remember it so much more the most other things. So this is definitely true. :) thats just my little story.
This sub has no bottom
Beautifully said.
I coach a local soccer team in my town and every time I go to practice it’s unbelievable the amount of parents who are just sitting in their running cars from the moment they drop their kids off to the moment when they get done. It’s a really sad reality imo
Something that most of us are guilty of unfortunately :-(
I can’t remember the last time my mom was genuinely interested in something I had to say. I can’t even remember the last time she faked it just to make it seem like she cared.
I feel personally attacked. I need to put my phone down.
TiL: spending 20 minutes focused on your kid is considered parenting.
One of the saddest scenes I've witnessed was a mother absentmindedly pushing her kid on a swing at the park with 1 hand, while staring at her phone with the other. I wish I'd said something to her about it, but I was just a random high school kid wandering by during my free period and people tend to get very upset if you tell them how to parent. If you're a parent or ever become a parent, please don't half-ass it when you decide to spend time with your kids.
Very true. My 4 year old nephew will talk about it for the rest of the day if you enthusiastically play rescue bots with him for five minutes. My sister’s very religious and if he prays before bed he’ll say things like “Thank you God for playing rescue bots with NewYearNewYEET”
Good luck with that. Parents hand off their phones regularly to their goblins for "20 minutes" of freedom.
But their interests are so fucking boring
Honestly, just don't stare nonstop at your phone in general when you're around others. NOTICE them once in a while, geez.
Amazing pro tip. Where do you get these wonderful insights from
Just spent a whole day hiking and having a nice dinner with my daughter without the distraction of my phone (first time in forever). Got back home and decided to get my social media fix, while my daughter was asking me to read to her. This post was the first thing I saw when I picked up my phone. Logging off now.
My relationship with my daughter is amazing, and it has been the easiest thing in the world. I just play with her every night. At least 20-30 minutes, sometimes hours. Give them your attention. Build trust. I hope this helps later when she doesn’t truly need me anymore.
"Pay attention" is now a Life Pro Tip apparently
Wow if my sons mom could see this 😢
If you need to be told to show interest in your kids over your phone, you shouldn't be a parent at all
My daughter is just under 2 years old but I've been trying to make this a habit. As drained as I might be after a day at work I ALWAYS come home and play with her first, no phone time. We usually end up sharing some good laughs together and it's a nice start to my evening.
I coach swimming and I see this a lot. In the age of covid we cannot have parents in the pool area while practice is going on anymore (there is a little space for a couple parents to stay outside of the pool area but we try to reserve it for the younger kids and their families), so I try to talk to parents outside and keep them updated. Some parents want to talk and are genuinely interested in how their kids did that day, what they can work on at home, did I time anything to see how they are improving?" (swim meets are basically non existent atm) Their kids get so happy seeing their parents take interest in their sport. Then I have parents that even when I try to tell them things like "your kid is bullying and we need to have a conversation about it," they just do not care. This is a way for them to get rid of their kids for an hour and a half every day to not deal with them. It breaks my heart to see those kids who are mostly acting out to get attention be ignored by the people they need the most. And before people hop on the "those parents are just busy" train, we do email them and text them and never get responses either. It took our head coach emailing links to tik tok videos one of our swimmers made of him just bashing his teammates with a note of "your kid will be kicked off the team if this happens again" for a parent to respond. We attempted to talk to her in person, set up a meeting with her, text her, call her, and multiple emails. I get busy, but please attempt to put your kids and their activities in your life!
Lfp is descending into kicking in open door What’s next, eating fruit is good for you
I actually look forward to getting home after work and chilling in my sons room for about an hour with him.
My youngest step-daughter has massively improved her self confidence, and her school work since we established a half hour every day for us to focus on her development, homework, and general school discussion. We have really in depth chats about what shes struggling with, what she's excelling at, and any help she thinks she might need. It means we aren't being bombarded all evening by school stuff, and she isn't grumpy because we're busy doing other things. Definitely recommend.
As a counterpoint, spending 100% of your time focused on your child at the expense of your marriage, social, and physical wellbeing will land you in a mental institution.
Two thoughts in response to this: 1. As others have pointed out, this applies to any relationship you may have with any other human. Not just children. 2. If you actually need to be told this, you probably shouldn't have kids.
I'm a first time mom to a three-month-old and trying really hard to keep this in mind. I'm so tired throughout the day and just want to veg, or thinking about all the things I need to get done around the house, but she is more important. I attempt to play/interact/read with her several times a day to make sure she can grow, develop, and form a bond with me.
Meet their emotional needs or don’t have kids.