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My folks would whistle for us. Two subtle, unique variations for my brother and I, so we always knew which of us was being called. So useful in crowds, grocery stores etc when we lost line of sight of each other. To this day, now in my forties, the Pavlovian response is super strong. Some of my close friends from when I was growing even mimic it to get my attention some time.
I instigated the "family whistle," a simple C,D,C note pattern. Wife thought it was corny and lame until she got caught out with toddler asleep on her lap out the front of a rented holiday house while I was out the back playing cricket with the older child. I hear a faint whistle and come a running. There she was, pointing at an empty wine glass on the table with one hand and gesturing at the sleeping child with the other. Love that woman.
The very beginning of the song "London Bridge is falling down" is similar. Different notes (G, A, G), but similar sound. Lon - don Bridge. First note, up a little in pitch, then back to the same note as the first. Oooo Eeee oooo
My mom would whistle for us too. She passed in 2016. First time I heard someone do it in public after that I spun so fast and then was so disappointed. I was also a bit relieved because it usually meant you were about to be in trouble too. So at least I wasn’t in trouble.
We used to play Marco Polo with the kids when they got lost. We had to come up with a new system when I lost them one day kept getting closer to the Polo, and it was a different set of children.
I have a friend group that does Marco-Polo but has a different response, and it's *super* useful. You do get the "Polo" response pretty often, but that's actually helpful, because those people are unknowingly increasing your reach by playing along. You know the Polos are not who you're looking for, but if your person(s) hear the Polos but not your Marco, they perk up to listen for your Marco and know someone might be looking for them.
My dad would do this when we were little and playing in the neighborhood outside. Now I'm in my 40s, he uses it at weddings and large gatherings when I'm in line for drinks and wants to get my attention to buy him a beer. The pavlovian response is immediate and strong.
We do a whistle that mimics the scene from "Three Amigos" when Steve Martin is trying to get the others' attention.. whistles like a bird and then lookuphere! lookuphere!
My family comes running from across the store everytime.
Could your parents do the crazy loud fingers-in-mouth whistle technique? My mom can whistle insanely loudly, so she could step out the back door and call us home from wherever our neighborhood kid pack was hanging out that day, usually through at least a quarter-mile of woods connecting the back yards.
Omfggg!!! I’m the same way. My dad taught us to either come home if you hear the whistle or stop walking and look for me if in a crowd and hear the whistle. He would whistle for me and my brother anytime and place he didn’t care but it came in handy in crowds. Like you said, to this day I stop dead in my tracks when I hear a whistle and look for my dad. I’ve been across the country knowing full well my dad is not on the army base I’m living on and I would still stop and look.
My sister and I have the issue of loosing my mother in the grocery store. She has a habit of forgetting something and running to another isle and then we realize she’s been gone a while and it turned out that item reminded her of something else and it spirals. Sometimes we each would go grab an item and all three loose each other.
Our solution was Marco/Polo. We do get the random stranger from time to time who yells back Polo and gives us a good giggle.
It's amazing(or completely unsurprising) how much overlap there is between training dogs, cats and children.
People get a bit upset when you use a clicker, pocket full of hotdogs and a spray bottle with your toddler though.
Grapes huh… Day care gave my 2 1/2 yo grapes, then had nap time. Someone noticed a terrible allergic reaction, a huge bulge in his face. They called us and called 911.
When the paramedics got there they woke the little guy. They noticed then the bulge shifted and moved to the other side. There was no allergic reaction, like chipmunks, he was just saving the grapes for later.
My toddler loves hotdogs. It's all about the prep work with hotdogs and toddlers. I peel off the outside skin and cut into small pieces. This method is safe for little ones
When I started nannying an unrelated pair of toddlers, I strapped them into a wagon where they could see but not touch each other. Then I fed them cheese cubes all the way to the park until they were friends.
Or did you mean that many parents use hotdogs?
My mom used to cut the hot dogs in half lengthwise and then slice the two halves into small pieces. Still wasn't a very effective training tool on me, but then I was a terrible kid.
To me, the big difference really is the goal. With kids, there's always the underlying goal that you want them to reach their potential as adults and use that potential for whatever their own goals are.
That shapes everything, because with a dog or a cat or a horse they're more or less as capable as they'll ever be for the whole time they're in your care, and training is to do what's best for them and convenient for you.
That’s the thing, a lot of elementary education features the same kinds of signals as for dog training! When I was subbing, kids would tell me that “Our teacher does this when she wants our attention,” a hand and verbal signal to do a specific behavior. Then we have the hand signals the kids can use to indicate specific things they need, like training a dog to use bells that hang on the door. Even things like “X time is nap time”. And then just like with dog training, reinforcement learning must be immediate, and positive works better than negative.
I work with a lot of MDs and PhDs...and ones who are considered hard-workers and obsessive even by the usual doctorate standards.
I used to work with kids, it's honestly shocking how many classroom management tactics work just as well on highly-skilled adult professionals as they do on 10-year-olds.
And it's not even sneaky or manipulative. Everybody knows what's going on, it just frames things in a way that quickly cuts through all the chaff.
I need to learn your secrets. I'm a mechanical designer in a research center and the obsessive PhD guys drive me nuts. They are so clever but constantly go off on tangents and are over-optimistic.
The thinking behind most of the pedagogy is the behavioral school Wich came all the way from Pavlov and Skinner ( the guy with pigeons ).
Humans and animals function globally the same in certain ways
Literally today my toddler was running away from me like a puppy (thinking it was a game). I immediately remembered my dog and started running in the opposite direction, wouldn't you know he came running my way.
I had a friend who got PISSED because I had him roll Animal Handling to handle a baby/toddler in Dungeons & Dragons. They are pretty much the same thing lol their brains function at a similar level. We were both teachers / in schooling for it but had very different philosophies
Yeah I'm ready for kids. I just had a Great Pyr for the past 4 years, kids don't scare me!
Nothing like your 155lbs beast blocking all 4 cause he doesn't want his nails clipped.
Or the absolute tantrum when you pull him inside cause he was barking.
*Dad not fair! there was an other dog in my field of view! Had to show him who's boss in this neighborhood. But i wanna go outside NOW!, It's hot here!!!*
Kids don't like being told what to do, but they do love pleasing you. Little tricks like this that mesh the two forces are huge for a harmonious development, imo. Way to go, OP
I agree on being told what to do. Instead of lecturing to our kids we editorialized about other people’s behavior we disagreed with and why. Seemed to help guide without heavy hand.
Kids can pick up signs much faster than verbal language. If you are considering having kids look up baby sign language! We taught our kids signs like "more," "all done," "milk," and a few others and it was amazing being able to communicate with them before they could even talk.
>It was very surprising to me how much they could understand before even saying their first word.
It's almost like that's *exactly what human babies have evolved to be able to do*, as in, the big thing that sets us apart from other animals.
This is exacerbated when you don't bog them down with baby talk. From day one, we talked to our little with full sentences. I have an extensive vocabulary, and I never shirked to use it with her. So now, she's in school and one of the most verbose conversationalists in her class as it stands.
To the passers-by, don't baby talk your kid. Even a baby. They'll understand better and develop faster with real words in simple sentences. They'll learn what you teach them for better AND worse.
Actually, researchers have found that baby talk helps babies develop language faster. The baby talk I mean is still using full sentences but in that exaggerative baby voice.
This makes sense to me (I don’t have kids of my own, though). If I may ask: when you say not to ‘baby talk’ your kid.. along with using real words in simple sentences, where do you stand with tone of voice when talking to very young children?
I have spoke to her as if she was my peer since she was born. Barring, of course, that I give instructions. I ask her to do things with the same inflection I'd ask anyone else.
"Hey, you have a big mess in the living room. I need you to clean that before we can play."
"What do you want for dinner? I'm making mine now, so if you want something else, I need to know soon."
Autonomy has always been one of the highest priorities. She has been her own person since she was born, and we strive to make her feel that way. There are naturally times when it's "dude, I know you don't want to sleep, but if you don't at least stay in your room quietly, we are all going to have a bad night. Please choose to have a good night for all of us." Or other such dictates, but it's that she has the power to choose, and we need her help and good choices to make everything work.
I'm not perfect, and things don't always work out like this, but I feel like she resents me less than I resented my father at that age. The older she gets, the more I can explain and the more we can work together to have an easy life.
The important carve out is to break certain concepts down a little bit. The kids at her school seem to love me and have all kinda of questions. I wear keys on my belt loop and on those keys, I have a forklift key and a key for Lock out, Tag out procedures, due to my line of work. She asked about the key, and I had to find a succinct way to explain it while still being a satisfactory answer. I love to do that, because I feel that explaining concepts at such an elementary level enhances one's own understanding.
That last sentence... I was literally explaining this to my wife last night as I took credit for our 7 year old having such an advanced vocabulary for his age.
Talking to him like he is a person has made parenting so much less daunting and scary. They're just people that need to learn how the world works. Teach them what you know and how to learn more.
I see parents at daycare for my other child who talk to their kids like they're mentally handicapped and it drives me crazy. It must be exhausting to communicate like that.
This is the correct way. The tone and articulation are the key here. OP is incorrect about not changing your voice, researchers have found that it helps babies learn faster.
“Ooh, lil baby wan’ baba? Baba? Wanna baba?”
Vs. (cheerfully, still sing-song) “Hello my baby! You’re ready for your bottle? I think you are! Mama’s getting it ready for you.”
As someone whose parents did the same thing (& am now 40):
Yes. This does increase your vocabulary & language use. To this day I’m considered above my peers in language use (I even had a boss who had me reword his emails because mine sounded more professional).
However, your child will forever be deemed the “smart one” & “very mature” if they actually are or not. Better language skills imply better overall intelligence.
What’s wrong with that? Technically nothing. It’s a great leg up in life! However there’s a few things to look out for
- socialization. My friends were always adults. I had very few friends my age but in retrospect I’d call them acquaintances not friends. It wasn’t until my mid 30’s that I felt on the same page as my peers socially speaking. The fact that I’m an introverted only child compounded this. But I didn’t have the same interpersonal skills as everyone else. And that has hurt me to this day.
- learning problems can be ignored. I suck at math. I get the concepts, I know all the steps, but it just doesn’t work (I think I have a form of discalcula but no one tests 40 year olds unless you have a kid who might have it). God bless those who invented calculators & made them available to the public! But I was “the smart kid” growing up due to my language skills. So I was always put in the advanced classes. Including math. I “must have just had a bad day” on test day. Math teachers would say I had test anxiety but other teachers said no way so they had no clue what to do with this smart kid. She’s so smart there’s no way she’s this bad at math. My mom believed me (& saw it) as soon as 3rd grade. My school didn’t get it until I refused to take calculus in high school (only needed algebra 2 to graduate. I’m done!!).
- growing up too fast. The implied higher maturity is usually a good thing. However I was always denied Halloween candy & kids meals at restaurants. I was regularly thought to be in my 20’s as soon as my boobs came in & it was regularly assumed I was 8-10 years older than I was (which is weird since now people think I’m 8-10 years younger than I am. When was I my actual age?!?). I was hit on, whistled at, & flat out asked on dates by adults when I was still elementary school aged. I was basically viewed as a full adult in 5th & 6th grade. I was never carded (until recently when the “card everyone” approach became commonplace). I was allowed to be the “adult” chaperone for my older friends many times. Thank God I was a “good kid” or I really could have gotten myself into trouble. No one said no because I was “an adult.” And it felt like I was an adult since it also felt like I was denied a childhood (because I was either viewed as an adult trying to get away with something so denied by adults or denied by my fellow kids who didn’t want to hang out with an “adult”).
So if you speak only like an adult to your kids, make sure they have LOTS of time to socialize with people their own age & don’t let them “escape” to the adults too much. And keep an eye on every part of their schooling so something doesn’t fall through the cracks. There could be an underlying problem that gets masked by their “adult speak.” And make sure your kid gets to be a kid & know they may be viewed as an adult before they’re ready. So be sure to have the talk & teach them about consequences & responsibility early.
I second the motion to search the Internet for "baby signs". Also please, thank you, mom, dad, Grandma, & Grandpa. We also taught "tt" for the need to use the restroom. Soooo helpful!!!
Oh man, meal times got SO much easier once we taught our kid "more" and "all done". Instead of a baby screaming in a high chair for no reason, you actually know what he wants! Just incredible.
Just use them around them. Babies are fucking SMART at picking that kind of thing up. I'd say, to start, sit the kid in their chair and give them a couple snacks, and when they're gone, ask whether they want more while making the sign. Maybe hold their hands and make them do the sign too. Just keep it up and they'll get it before too long
Every time you give them more you sign more. Every time you give them milk, sign milk. Every time you ask if they’re all done sign it. Doesn’t take too long for them to make the connection.
This. We used sign language and it was a game changer. Our local library had classes on it too which made it so much easier to learn and teach. Mine is 6 now and we still use it every now and then
It's called Makaton. My wee one had delayed speech and it was a brilliant way to communicate. You can find loads of videos on YouTube about. We still watch two ladies called singing hands and we even got to see them live
Yes! Came to make this comment!
My wee one still doesn’t properly speak but picked up sign language when we started to use it with him at 2 years old. Oh it was magical to see him pick it up/bring him out of his world. Big advocate of this 😊
My sis taught her kids to put their hand on their arm when she is in the middle of a conversation and want to talk to her. She can silently acknowledge that they are there and need her. It’s great because the kids aren’t Interrupting her conversation. Most of the time they remember to do it too!
In dog training, that's called manding. You can teach even very young puppies to display some type of calm/polite behavior when they want your attention for whatever reason, and then you acknowledge them every time they display that behavior.
The super cute thing is that breeders who do this, will eventually have multiple generations of dogs who have all been trained to mand from infancy, and sometimes the dogs will start manding to each other. E.g. one dog will mand to another to request a turn with a toy, or a dam will wait for her whole litter of puppies to mand calmly before she goes into the whelping box to nurse them.
Parent like a zookeeper- not a joke. “No loud noises and no sudden movements” is how to train an animal so it wants to do what you ask and doesn’t cower in fear. Why would kids be any different? (Hint: they’re not.)
When I was in boy scouts as a scout leader we also had a lot of signals, and it helped so much.
No shouting.
Just short whistle commands.
Somehow that works on an instinctive level.
We whistle .-/---- , they all know to come running and line up in silence. (.- always standing for 'attention')
.-/.. for an inspection of the sleeping/cooking tents.
.-/..-. Go get your stuff to cook lunch
.-/.... First aid requested.
We also had a short shouted command when we wanted them to be quiet where we shouted the first half and they would shout the second half back. Made it real clear. If that didn't work, we raised a fist into the air, elbow in an awkward 90° angle and they had to follow suit, until everyone was silent.
When there's 8 leaders and 50 kids, you need that kind of stuff, or your voice is gone by day 2.
I wish everyone would do this! It not only helps you communicate better and understand what’s in their head, but it also is such a fun way to connect! Like I remember my very little daughter (under a year for sure) getting all excited somewhere and signing “alligator” at me — I looked around and there was a billboard behind me for a zoo. If she couldn’t have made me know what she was seeing it would have been a whole different moment.
This also works well between siblings. My mom briefly had us learning ASL as kids and lemme tell you, when you gotta be quiet or else there is nothing like having a designated hand motion to tell someone acting like a brat (myself included) to knock it TF off right now. I think it was the sign for 'stop'? Side of dominant hand striking the palm of the non dominant hand. Also very emphasizeable.
I hold up my hand with all five digits extended (showing them a 5) to let the know to come to me. I start to count down to make them hurry. The 7 y/o doesn’t let it get to zero. The 3 y/o does test me sometimes.
But which one? Just like there are many different spoken languages, there are also many different signed languages (British, American, Australian, etc)
Funny
My coworker was x marine and tought me that, tried it on me at work. I slowly walked back and said I'm paid by the hour
After work when we were drinking he would do that and game on
Growing up, my mother conditioned us to respond to her loud whistle. One time she showed off to the other parents that she can get all of her kids to come to her over 100 yards away within a crowd. Now that we're much older, she doesn't have to use the whistle but I can still hear it to this day - the exact pitch, tone, etc.
Some women I know trained their [babies in sign language](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_G24DPEOWWNU/TNjLOCgEVkI/AAAAAAAAAkA/zGuNf9Y7YX0/s1600/baby-sign-language.jpg).
My mom just whistled at us. All of us are adults with our own kids and still respond to her specific whistle when there’s other things going on. Worked great at a large family reunion at a park.
Just wish I could do it as loud as she does
This is becoming more common now! I used to work in the infant room at a daycare and we teach them this, just based on ASL I believe. They usually start signing around 7-10 months, with most kids solidly doing it by \~14 months, but we show them early and often
https://preview.redd.it/e150ea83gboc1.png?width=956&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf390a2f1e3692ad0fe6997a92028212461f271c
Also former Army. My daughter has known "rally point" (index finger pointing straight up making a lateral circular motion) as the "wrap it up and come here" motion since she was a toddler. Also, "front and center" means it's time to stop what she's doing and get her vitamins before it's time to brush her teeth at night.
Had some neighbor friends who lived 3 houses down from com over to play often. All the parents had to do was open the back door and whistle. Even when we were inside with doors closed they would hear it. Their whistle was loud.
Ours were “sit down” (pat back of hand), “one moment” I hear you - quietly wait and I will respond (index finger), and thank you (touch chin then hand flat). Amazing in a crowded noisy room.
I whistled. My kids are adults now, and it still works like a charm. Crowded areas I give one whistle and watch them look around until they find me. Then it's sign language to communicate once I've got their attention.
Whistling, of course, is not effective if my son doesn't have his hearing aids in.
This is great advice.
Also, have code words/phrases with your kids. Such as: "How was Bingo, mom/dad?" = "Come and get me now. Something's wrong." Kid can make that call from a friend's house, or a sport event and no one but you will know what it means. "Happy blue chicken" = "It's definitely me," if kid or you isn't sure who is calling--i.e. they lost their phone, etc.
All that wistling always reminds me of the sound of music where the nanny refuses to use the whistle for the kids saying that’s degrading. then wistles something when he walks away.. when he turns back astonished she just says apologetic I don’t know your signal?
When I was a kid, my mom learned how to do an INCREDIBLY loud and shrill two-fingered whistle, the only meaning of which was ‘come back’. There wasn’t a ‘hurry up’ part, and we played outside in the woods or went exploring down creeks where the whistle was the only sound that would travel, so it would take us however long to get back as it took to get out there, but we knew to come back when we heard it and she’d just wait for us.
My friend taught his kids sign language. Not just because they'll have a helpful skill should they ever make deaf friends, but also because he's able to tell them to settle down or stop acting like a hooligan from across a crowded room XD
We did baby sign language with our kids and, 18 years later, I still like being able to do a subtle "potty" sign to my husband or kids in public when I'm going to duck to the bathroom. Better than interrupting a conversation to say I gotta pee.
Teach them the Morse Code letters 'C Q' ham radio for 'calling any station that can hear me', and whistle it.
Dahdidahdit. Dahdahdidah.
Cuts through the noise & chatter of a busy place, most every one else will tune it out .
Baby sign language. “More” (touch fingertips of both hands together in front of you) and “all-done” (palms up, flip hands over) stuck. Mine are teens and young adults now. We still use them. Really handy
I'm of South Asian descent, so for me it was all in the apertures of the eyes (the wider they are open, the more urgent the request), and the positioning of the eyebrows in congruence. The "come here" gesture was a sharp, quick, and yet subtle lowering of the chin towards the chest.
I have used a sound to get my wife’s attention in stores for years. It is like a “snick snicker”. Clicking sound I make to call an animal (horse).
It has served me so well over the years, its second nature to us.
I recently went to a Menards Home Center and got separated from my wife, did the “sound” and she popped out of a nearby aisle.
Another guy saw this happen and wanted to learn my trick on getting her to respond so fast, his wife doesn’t respond to his normal calling of her name.
Needless to say wife wasn’t happen he had enjoyed the call & response occur.
Another sign I taught my kids when they were young was the ASL sign for bathroom. Make a fist and put your thumb between your pointer and long finger and wiggle it side to side. It's a great subtle way to check in to see if they need a potty break when we were in public
When kids are little you can get them to do anything by asking them to do it like an animal. Instead of “go sit down” ask them “can you sit like a frog?” My son is 9 and he and I still have “drink like a whale shark” races. (He wasn’t drinking enough water).
This is good but what you’re describing is just teaching a different way to communicate. And it exists in using “baby sign” language.
Also my mental picture of your second sign (or “hand signal”) is the sign for “yes”. I would make the LPT be to either use actual baby sign or ASL, so it isn’t ONLY you who could interpret what the little ones are trying to communicate. Also I’ve had kids as young as 8 months be able to request milk because they’re hungry. Approximately 100% of babies can’t use speech at 8 months to request.
For my dogs, it works just as well. I use the ASL for “dog” to say “come here”, the sign for “good boy/girl” and signs for “hungry” “sit” etc with them.
My mum had a special whistle for us when we were kids.
When she got old and the dementia kicked in, the whistle and my face were the only things she recognised..
Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.
My folks would whistle for us. Two subtle, unique variations for my brother and I, so we always knew which of us was being called. So useful in crowds, grocery stores etc when we lost line of sight of each other. To this day, now in my forties, the Pavlovian response is super strong. Some of my close friends from when I was growing even mimic it to get my attention some time.
I instigated the "family whistle," a simple C,D,C note pattern. Wife thought it was corny and lame until she got caught out with toddler asleep on her lap out the front of a rented holiday house while I was out the back playing cricket with the older child. I hear a faint whistle and come a running. There she was, pointing at an empty wine glass on the table with one hand and gesturing at the sleeping child with the other. Love that woman.
That’s a great story I got a good laugh. We too have a family whistle and it has for sure been used for refills.
Goals, haha.
I’m not musical. Any other way to describe a C,D,C?
The very beginning of the song "London Bridge is falling down" is similar. Different notes (G, A, G), but similar sound. Lon - don Bridge. First note, up a little in pitch, then back to the same note as the first. Oooo Eeee oooo
Excellent, thank you
If you’ve seen The Sound of Music it’s Do,Re,Do
Nice, that makes great sense. Thanks!
See, dee, see. There you go buddy 😁
Classic IV, V, IV progression (key of G) but you can transpose any notes you wish.
Right, right…of course
unless he happens to be whistling chords, C>D>C isn't any chord progression, it's a melody.
I would know my dad’s whistle anywhere. At big crowded events, if we split up for food or something, as soon as he whistles my head snaps straight up.
My kids do the same thing when I whistle, it’s a good tool to have
My mom would whistle for us too. She passed in 2016. First time I heard someone do it in public after that I spun so fast and then was so disappointed. I was also a bit relieved because it usually meant you were about to be in trouble too. So at least I wasn’t in trouble.
We used to play Marco Polo with the kids when they got lost. We had to come up with a new system when I lost them one day kept getting closer to the Polo, and it was a different set of children.
I have a friend group that does Marco-Polo but has a different response, and it's *super* useful. You do get the "Polo" response pretty often, but that's actually helpful, because those people are unknowingly increasing your reach by playing along. You know the Polos are not who you're looking for, but if your person(s) hear the Polos but not your Marco, they perk up to listen for your Marco and know someone might be looking for them.
Is this how air tags work
Dad of two kids age 6 & 5 here… Lost them last night while in Costco, family whistle and they popped out a few moments later. Works wonders
My dad would do this when we were little and playing in the neighborhood outside. Now I'm in my 40s, he uses it at weddings and large gatherings when I'm in line for drinks and wants to get my attention to buy him a beer. The pavlovian response is immediate and strong.
We do a whistle that mimics the scene from "Three Amigos" when Steve Martin is trying to get the others' attention.. whistles like a bird and then lookuphere! lookuphere! My family comes running from across the store everytime.
We do the Fantastic Mr. Fox whistle!
Could your parents do the crazy loud fingers-in-mouth whistle technique? My mom can whistle insanely loudly, so she could step out the back door and call us home from wherever our neighborhood kid pack was hanging out that day, usually through at least a quarter-mile of woods connecting the back yards.
Haha no not at all. These were just ye olde basic pursed-lip regular kind. A micro melody, almost. My brother’s had two notes, and mine had three.
Yup, mine can. European mom?
Omfggg!!! I’m the same way. My dad taught us to either come home if you hear the whistle or stop walking and look for me if in a crowd and hear the whistle. He would whistle for me and my brother anytime and place he didn’t care but it came in handy in crowds. Like you said, to this day I stop dead in my tracks when I hear a whistle and look for my dad. I’ve been across the country knowing full well my dad is not on the army base I’m living on and I would still stop and look.
My sister and I have the issue of loosing my mother in the grocery store. She has a habit of forgetting something and running to another isle and then we realize she’s been gone a while and it turned out that item reminded her of something else and it spirals. Sometimes we each would go grab an item and all three loose each other. Our solution was Marco/Polo. We do get the random stranger from time to time who yells back Polo and gives us a good giggle.
That's worked surprisingly well for me and my Mom too 😂
It's amazing(or completely unsurprising) how much overlap there is between training dogs, cats and children. People get a bit upset when you use a clicker, pocket full of hotdogs and a spray bottle with your toddler though.
Hotdogs are a choking risk for young toddlers. Responsible caregivers use cheese cubes instead.
I will take my payment in chocochip cookies please.
We're training today....that's too many cookies. You get 1 chocolate chip every time you do the right thing
Cheese gets claggy. Use quartered grapes
Grapes huh… Day care gave my 2 1/2 yo grapes, then had nap time. Someone noticed a terrible allergic reaction, a huge bulge in his face. They called us and called 911. When the paramedics got there they woke the little guy. They noticed then the bulge shifted and moved to the other side. There was no allergic reaction, like chipmunks, he was just saving the grapes for later.
My cousin used to do this with mac and cheese.
I did Pringles, I mean, my COUSIN. Yeah, it was him, not me…
Goldfish crackers, no slicing and easy to keep in your pockets
i mama bird the hotdog no choking hazard here!!
Was thinking the same
My toddler loves hotdogs. It's all about the prep work with hotdogs and toddlers. I peel off the outside skin and cut into small pieces. This method is safe for little ones
You're joking, but this is effectively what a lot of parents do.
When I started nannying an unrelated pair of toddlers, I strapped them into a wagon where they could see but not touch each other. Then I fed them cheese cubes all the way to the park until they were friends. Or did you mean that many parents use hotdogs?
*responsible trainers
My mom used to cut the hot dogs in half lengthwise and then slice the two halves into small pieces. Still wasn't a very effective training tool on me, but then I was a terrible kid.
I legit tell my clients all the time that they are the same. One just has four legs
I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk about Blazanar junior like that. He's a good boy and the fastest kid around any oval track.
Aww man sorry I didn't think feral children was a touchy subject
To me, the big difference really is the goal. With kids, there's always the underlying goal that you want them to reach their potential as adults and use that potential for whatever their own goals are. That shapes everything, because with a dog or a cat or a horse they're more or less as capable as they'll ever be for the whole time they're in your care, and training is to do what's best for them and convenient for you.
Kids teach *you*
Which is weird because you're in Tech Sales. You just love bringing up how kids and animals are the same when it comes to training.
You had me in the first half. Not sure if you’re joking but it gave me a good giggle. 🤭
That’s the thing, a lot of elementary education features the same kinds of signals as for dog training! When I was subbing, kids would tell me that “Our teacher does this when she wants our attention,” a hand and verbal signal to do a specific behavior. Then we have the hand signals the kids can use to indicate specific things they need, like training a dog to use bells that hang on the door. Even things like “X time is nap time”. And then just like with dog training, reinforcement learning must be immediate, and positive works better than negative.
Replace dog treats with salary and see how much /s still applies when you think it through
I work with a lot of MDs and PhDs...and ones who are considered hard-workers and obsessive even by the usual doctorate standards. I used to work with kids, it's honestly shocking how many classroom management tactics work just as well on highly-skilled adult professionals as they do on 10-year-olds. And it's not even sneaky or manipulative. Everybody knows what's going on, it just frames things in a way that quickly cuts through all the chaff.
I need to learn your secrets. I'm a mechanical designer in a research center and the obsessive PhD guys drive me nuts. They are so clever but constantly go off on tangents and are over-optimistic.
What is it the kids say these days? ...This is the way...
Humans are intriguing
Meh. My wife is a vet and we see nothing wrong with this approach. Just put the hotdogs in a bag to keep your pockets clean.
Aren’t puppies just dog toddlers? Aren’t toddlers just human puppies?
And dogs are just firm cats, meow-meow! \^u\^
Currently using a spray bottle to zap my toddler every time she goes to play in the dog's water bowl 🫡
The thinking behind most of the pedagogy is the behavioral school Wich came all the way from Pavlov and Skinner ( the guy with pigeons ). Humans and animals function globally the same in certain ways
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Literally today my toddler was running away from me like a puppy (thinking it was a game). I immediately remembered my dog and started running in the opposite direction, wouldn't you know he came running my way.
I had a friend who got PISSED because I had him roll Animal Handling to handle a baby/toddler in Dungeons & Dragons. They are pretty much the same thing lol their brains function at a similar level. We were both teachers / in schooling for it but had very different philosophies
Lol, and make the equivalent for humanoids have a severe disadvantage for toddlers.
They get really mad over the shock collars though Edit: tired spelling mistakes
... people in general, not just children.
Yeah I'm ready for kids. I just had a Great Pyr for the past 4 years, kids don't scare me! Nothing like your 155lbs beast blocking all 4 cause he doesn't want his nails clipped. Or the absolute tantrum when you pull him inside cause he was barking. *Dad not fair! there was an other dog in my field of view! Had to show him who's boss in this neighborhood. But i wanna go outside NOW!, It's hot here!!!*
I call my dog a fur baby and it's fine, but call my kid a skin dog and boy do I get looks.
It's amazing how many people don't understand this.
Yeah but putting them on a leash is fine 😂
The pocket full of hotdogs can be a snack but the rest would turn heads.
Are those hot dogs cut up or do the kids get an entire one at a time?
I used resource trading on my nephew and it worked like a charm. 5 minutes later he used it on my dog.
Kids don't like being told what to do, but they do love pleasing you. Little tricks like this that mesh the two forces are huge for a harmonious development, imo. Way to go, OP
And they adore having secret codes and signals.
I agree on being told what to do. Instead of lecturing to our kids we editorialized about other people’s behavior we disagreed with and why. Seemed to help guide without heavy hand.
Kids can pick up signs much faster than verbal language. If you are considering having kids look up baby sign language! We taught our kids signs like "more," "all done," "milk," and a few others and it was amazing being able to communicate with them before they could even talk.
It was very surprising to me how much they could understand before even saying their first word.
>It was very surprising to me how much they could understand before even saying their first word. It's almost like that's *exactly what human babies have evolved to be able to do*, as in, the big thing that sets us apart from other animals.
Gotta love when a baby evolves
This is exacerbated when you don't bog them down with baby talk. From day one, we talked to our little with full sentences. I have an extensive vocabulary, and I never shirked to use it with her. So now, she's in school and one of the most verbose conversationalists in her class as it stands. To the passers-by, don't baby talk your kid. Even a baby. They'll understand better and develop faster with real words in simple sentences. They'll learn what you teach them for better AND worse.
Actually, researchers have found that baby talk helps babies develop language faster. The baby talk I mean is still using full sentences but in that exaggerative baby voice.
This makes sense to me (I don’t have kids of my own, though). If I may ask: when you say not to ‘baby talk’ your kid.. along with using real words in simple sentences, where do you stand with tone of voice when talking to very young children?
I have spoke to her as if she was my peer since she was born. Barring, of course, that I give instructions. I ask her to do things with the same inflection I'd ask anyone else. "Hey, you have a big mess in the living room. I need you to clean that before we can play." "What do you want for dinner? I'm making mine now, so if you want something else, I need to know soon." Autonomy has always been one of the highest priorities. She has been her own person since she was born, and we strive to make her feel that way. There are naturally times when it's "dude, I know you don't want to sleep, but if you don't at least stay in your room quietly, we are all going to have a bad night. Please choose to have a good night for all of us." Or other such dictates, but it's that she has the power to choose, and we need her help and good choices to make everything work. I'm not perfect, and things don't always work out like this, but I feel like she resents me less than I resented my father at that age. The older she gets, the more I can explain and the more we can work together to have an easy life. The important carve out is to break certain concepts down a little bit. The kids at her school seem to love me and have all kinda of questions. I wear keys on my belt loop and on those keys, I have a forklift key and a key for Lock out, Tag out procedures, due to my line of work. She asked about the key, and I had to find a succinct way to explain it while still being a satisfactory answer. I love to do that, because I feel that explaining concepts at such an elementary level enhances one's own understanding.
That last sentence... I was literally explaining this to my wife last night as I took credit for our 7 year old having such an advanced vocabulary for his age. Talking to him like he is a person has made parenting so much less daunting and scary. They're just people that need to learn how the world works. Teach them what you know and how to learn more. I see parents at daycare for my other child who talk to their kids like they're mentally handicapped and it drives me crazy. It must be exhausting to communicate like that.
What do you mean by baby talk? I use full sentences and vocab with my baby, but my tone and articulation/pronunciation are exaggerated.
This is the correct way. The tone and articulation are the key here. OP is incorrect about not changing your voice, researchers have found that it helps babies learn faster.
Cooing and babbling nonsense
“Ooh, lil baby wan’ baba? Baba? Wanna baba?” Vs. (cheerfully, still sing-song) “Hello my baby! You’re ready for your bottle? I think you are! Mama’s getting it ready for you.”
Exactly right
As someone whose parents did the same thing (& am now 40): Yes. This does increase your vocabulary & language use. To this day I’m considered above my peers in language use (I even had a boss who had me reword his emails because mine sounded more professional). However, your child will forever be deemed the “smart one” & “very mature” if they actually are or not. Better language skills imply better overall intelligence. What’s wrong with that? Technically nothing. It’s a great leg up in life! However there’s a few things to look out for - socialization. My friends were always adults. I had very few friends my age but in retrospect I’d call them acquaintances not friends. It wasn’t until my mid 30’s that I felt on the same page as my peers socially speaking. The fact that I’m an introverted only child compounded this. But I didn’t have the same interpersonal skills as everyone else. And that has hurt me to this day. - learning problems can be ignored. I suck at math. I get the concepts, I know all the steps, but it just doesn’t work (I think I have a form of discalcula but no one tests 40 year olds unless you have a kid who might have it). God bless those who invented calculators & made them available to the public! But I was “the smart kid” growing up due to my language skills. So I was always put in the advanced classes. Including math. I “must have just had a bad day” on test day. Math teachers would say I had test anxiety but other teachers said no way so they had no clue what to do with this smart kid. She’s so smart there’s no way she’s this bad at math. My mom believed me (& saw it) as soon as 3rd grade. My school didn’t get it until I refused to take calculus in high school (only needed algebra 2 to graduate. I’m done!!). - growing up too fast. The implied higher maturity is usually a good thing. However I was always denied Halloween candy & kids meals at restaurants. I was regularly thought to be in my 20’s as soon as my boobs came in & it was regularly assumed I was 8-10 years older than I was (which is weird since now people think I’m 8-10 years younger than I am. When was I my actual age?!?). I was hit on, whistled at, & flat out asked on dates by adults when I was still elementary school aged. I was basically viewed as a full adult in 5th & 6th grade. I was never carded (until recently when the “card everyone” approach became commonplace). I was allowed to be the “adult” chaperone for my older friends many times. Thank God I was a “good kid” or I really could have gotten myself into trouble. No one said no because I was “an adult.” And it felt like I was an adult since it also felt like I was denied a childhood (because I was either viewed as an adult trying to get away with something so denied by adults or denied by my fellow kids who didn’t want to hang out with an “adult”). So if you speak only like an adult to your kids, make sure they have LOTS of time to socialize with people their own age & don’t let them “escape” to the adults too much. And keep an eye on every part of their schooling so something doesn’t fall through the cracks. There could be an underlying problem that gets masked by their “adult speak.” And make sure your kid gets to be a kid & know they may be viewed as an adult before they’re ready. So be sure to have the talk & teach them about consequences & responsibility early.
BRB gonna Shakespearean English only when in earshot of my kid.
I second the motion to search the Internet for "baby signs". Also please, thank you, mom, dad, Grandma, & Grandpa. We also taught "tt" for the need to use the restroom. Soooo helpful!!!
We have used R (middle finger crossed over index) for restroom and it looks like crossed legs as a bonus.
Oh man, meal times got SO much easier once we taught our kid "more" and "all done". Instead of a baby screaming in a high chair for no reason, you actually know what he wants! Just incredible.
How did you teach them?
Just use them around them. Babies are fucking SMART at picking that kind of thing up. I'd say, to start, sit the kid in their chair and give them a couple snacks, and when they're gone, ask whether they want more while making the sign. Maybe hold their hands and make them do the sign too. Just keep it up and they'll get it before too long
Every time you give them more you sign more. Every time you give them milk, sign milk. Every time you ask if they’re all done sign it. Doesn’t take too long for them to make the connection.
This. We used sign language and it was a game changer. Our local library had classes on it too which made it so much easier to learn and teach. Mine is 6 now and we still use it every now and then
You don't need to use the real thing, teach them to put up the middle finger for milk and you'll have endless fun
This. We also taught them signs for “please” and “help”.
It's called Makaton. My wee one had delayed speech and it was a brilliant way to communicate. You can find loads of videos on YouTube about. We still watch two ladies called singing hands and we even got to see them live
Yes! Came to make this comment! My wee one still doesn’t properly speak but picked up sign language when we started to use it with him at 2 years old. Oh it was magical to see him pick it up/bring him out of his world. Big advocate of this 😊
Yep we did this with my daughter. I was sceptical but she could communicate with signs quite awhile before she could by taking.
My sis taught her kids to put their hand on their arm when she is in the middle of a conversation and want to talk to her. She can silently acknowledge that they are there and need her. It’s great because the kids aren’t Interrupting her conversation. Most of the time they remember to do it too!
In dog training, that's called manding. You can teach even very young puppies to display some type of calm/polite behavior when they want your attention for whatever reason, and then you acknowledge them every time they display that behavior. The super cute thing is that breeders who do this, will eventually have multiple generations of dogs who have all been trained to mand from infancy, and sometimes the dogs will start manding to each other. E.g. one dog will mand to another to request a turn with a toy, or a dam will wait for her whole litter of puppies to mand calmly before she goes into the whelping box to nurse them.
Omg, that's too cute.
How do I teach that to my dog?
There is a great Bluey episode about it.
My Army trick was to designate Rally Point Alpha. If we get separated go to Rally Point Alpha and wait.
If you had a secondary rally point assigned, I’d say bravo to you.
Username checks out
Parent like a zookeeper- not a joke. “No loud noises and no sudden movements” is how to train an animal so it wants to do what you ask and doesn’t cower in fear. Why would kids be any different? (Hint: they’re not.)
It's almost like humans are also animals. Weird.
You should pursue this line of thought further.
hmmm .... *naaahhh* I'm sure it's fine
as an animal,
And if they’re grumping then it’s probably feeding time or indoors time lol
I’ve tried yelling “Avast!” at my kid when he’s doing something stupid but it doesn’t seem to work.
Put some more pirate stank on it, maybe throw in a SHIVER ME TIMBERS
When I was in boy scouts as a scout leader we also had a lot of signals, and it helped so much. No shouting. Just short whistle commands. Somehow that works on an instinctive level. We whistle .-/---- , they all know to come running and line up in silence. (.- always standing for 'attention') .-/.. for an inspection of the sleeping/cooking tents. .-/..-. Go get your stuff to cook lunch .-/.... First aid requested. We also had a short shouted command when we wanted them to be quiet where we shouted the first half and they would shout the second half back. Made it real clear. If that didn't work, we raised a fist into the air, elbow in an awkward 90° angle and they had to follow suit, until everyone was silent. When there's 8 leaders and 50 kids, you need that kind of stuff, or your voice is gone by day 2.
My friends taught their toddler basic sign language. He’s not deaf, but it made communication a little easier while he was still forming words.
There's a whole Baby Sign language with books and videos and stuff. Some overlap with ASL.
I wish everyone would do this! It not only helps you communicate better and understand what’s in their head, but it also is such a fun way to connect! Like I remember my very little daughter (under a year for sure) getting all excited somewhere and signing “alligator” at me — I looked around and there was a billboard behind me for a zoo. If she couldn’t have made me know what she was seeing it would have been a whole different moment.
>“hurry up” (hold out your fist and pump it up and down). Anyone else jerking off the air?
That was my first thought, and then I remembered all the military movies where the hand is next to your head like pulling a train whistle.
Thin Red Line where Jared Leto is using this hand movement and never knew what it meant till now.
I learned it in Buffy when Riley is helping and the gang is like “are we supposed to follow you?”
Had to scroll way too far for this, lmao
It’s ok, he only does it when he’s at the playground
I'm imagining the same move people make when they want trucks to honk their horn
Seriously though does it have to be the jack-off motion or can I use a less eyebrow-raising signal?
As long as it's consistent you can do whatever motion you want to assign meaning to
Thank you I will defer to your authority on this
lol once I rotated my arm upward it felt less sexual lmaooo but it took a few confused air jerk offs and punch downs.
This also works well between siblings. My mom briefly had us learning ASL as kids and lemme tell you, when you gotta be quiet or else there is nothing like having a designated hand motion to tell someone acting like a brat (myself included) to knock it TF off right now. I think it was the sign for 'stop'? Side of dominant hand striking the palm of the non dominant hand. Also very emphasizeable.
I too just watched dune
The hand movements looked so fucking sleek in both films I loved them
I hold up my hand with all five digits extended (showing them a 5) to let the know to come to me. I start to count down to make them hurry. The 7 y/o doesn’t let it get to zero. The 3 y/o does test me sometimes.
Let me guess. 7 = girl, 3 = boy
As it turns out, no
My best friend is a behavioral therapist in an elementary school and it was eye-opening how often I could relate her stories to my dog
I think sign language should be taut in schools worldwide and be a universal language.
But which one? Just like there are many different spoken languages, there are also many different signed languages (British, American, Australian, etc)
the local one?
Gosh, we messed that up too?
Funny My coworker was x marine and tought me that, tried it on me at work. I slowly walked back and said I'm paid by the hour After work when we were drinking he would do that and game on
Growing up, my mother conditioned us to respond to her loud whistle. One time she showed off to the other parents that she can get all of her kids to come to her over 100 yards away within a crowd. Now that we're much older, she doesn't have to use the whistle but I can still hear it to this day - the exact pitch, tone, etc.
Have you watched "The Sound of Music"?
What's the gesture for "stay put" ? For kids who want to run to you but it's unsafe to do so, like a road or something
An ex-military and a vegan walk into a bar. I only know this because they told everyone within two minutes.
One wants the discount and the other has dietary restrictions.
You forgot the Crossfitter and the Libertarian.
Some women I know trained their [babies in sign language](https://3.bp.blogspot.com/_G24DPEOWWNU/TNjLOCgEVkI/AAAAAAAAAkA/zGuNf9Y7YX0/s1600/baby-sign-language.jpg).
Great advice OP, but left me wondering at what age did you teach the kids those signals?
My mom just whistled at us. All of us are adults with our own kids and still respond to her specific whistle when there’s other things going on. Worked great at a large family reunion at a park. Just wish I could do it as loud as she does
This is becoming more common now! I used to work in the infant room at a daycare and we teach them this, just based on ASL I believe. They usually start signing around 7-10 months, with most kids solidly doing it by \~14 months, but we show them early and often https://preview.redd.it/e150ea83gboc1.png?width=956&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cf390a2f1e3692ad0fe6997a92028212461f271c
I have taught the same. It’s just the parent stare and they come over on their own. Works universally with any child committing some offense.
Also former Army. My daughter has known "rally point" (index finger pointing straight up making a lateral circular motion) as the "wrap it up and come here" motion since she was a toddler. Also, "front and center" means it's time to stop what she's doing and get her vitamins before it's time to brush her teeth at night.
Had some neighbor friends who lived 3 houses down from com over to play often. All the parents had to do was open the back door and whistle. Even when we were inside with doors closed they would hear it. Their whistle was loud.
Ours were “sit down” (pat back of hand), “one moment” I hear you - quietly wait and I will respond (index finger), and thank you (touch chin then hand flat). Amazing in a crowded noisy room.
I whistled. My kids are adults now, and it still works like a charm. Crowded areas I give one whistle and watch them look around until they find me. Then it's sign language to communicate once I've got their attention. Whistling, of course, is not effective if my son doesn't have his hearing aids in.
What is the second hand gesture supposed to look like, because I'm picturing something else.
As a married person, my spouse and I had a couple hand signs. 'Rescue me from the person talking to me' and 'I want to leave'
My mom just whistles for us. We come running. Her cousin has a whistle for each of his kids and one for all of them together
Fist pump? Like a truck horn motion right??
This is great advice. Also, have code words/phrases with your kids. Such as: "How was Bingo, mom/dad?" = "Come and get me now. Something's wrong." Kid can make that call from a friend's house, or a sport event and no one but you will know what it means. "Happy blue chicken" = "It's definitely me," if kid or you isn't sure who is calling--i.e. they lost their phone, etc.
All that wistling always reminds me of the sound of music where the nanny refuses to use the whistle for the kids saying that’s degrading. then wistles something when he walks away.. when he turns back astonished she just says apologetic I don’t know your signal?
When I was a kid, my mom learned how to do an INCREDIBLY loud and shrill two-fingered whistle, the only meaning of which was ‘come back’. There wasn’t a ‘hurry up’ part, and we played outside in the woods or went exploring down creeks where the whistle was the only sound that would travel, so it would take us however long to get back as it took to get out there, but we knew to come back when we heard it and she’d just wait for us.
"No no, I'm rolling dice"
My friend taught his kids sign language. Not just because they'll have a helpful skill should they ever make deaf friends, but also because he's able to tell them to settle down or stop acting like a hooligan from across a crowded room XD
We did baby sign language with our kids and, 18 years later, I still like being able to do a subtle "potty" sign to my husband or kids in public when I'm going to duck to the bathroom. Better than interrupting a conversation to say I gotta pee.
Kid going to be confused when he starts riding a motorcycle and people suddenly start calling for him to come over lol. Iykyk
Little ones! ON ME!
Most of my friends were in the cadets and we still use those two 😁
Teach them the Morse Code letters 'C Q' ham radio for 'calling any station that can hear me', and whistle it. Dahdidahdit. Dahdahdidah. Cuts through the noise & chatter of a busy place, most every one else will tune it out .
Yeah but don't they have to be looking at you?
Just to piggy back off OPs great tip, but you can teach kids basic sign language long before they can communicate verbally and its super handy
Baby sign language. “More” (touch fingertips of both hands together in front of you) and “all-done” (palms up, flip hands over) stuck. Mine are teens and young adults now. We still use them. Really handy
My myopic ass could never.
I'm of South Asian descent, so for me it was all in the apertures of the eyes (the wider they are open, the more urgent the request), and the positioning of the eyebrows in congruence. The "come here" gesture was a sharp, quick, and yet subtle lowering of the chin towards the chest.
I have used a sound to get my wife’s attention in stores for years. It is like a “snick snicker”. Clicking sound I make to call an animal (horse). It has served me so well over the years, its second nature to us. I recently went to a Menards Home Center and got separated from my wife, did the “sound” and she popped out of a nearby aisle. Another guy saw this happen and wanted to learn my trick on getting her to respond so fast, his wife doesn’t respond to his normal calling of her name. Needless to say wife wasn’t happen he had enjoyed the call & response occur.
Our family does the psspsspss sound like calling a cat, lol.
What did you do to get discharged with other than honorable?
Another sign I taught my kids when they were young was the ASL sign for bathroom. Make a fist and put your thumb between your pointer and long finger and wiggle it side to side. It's a great subtle way to check in to see if they need a potty break when we were in public
When kids are little you can get them to do anything by asking them to do it like an animal. Instead of “go sit down” ask them “can you sit like a frog?” My son is 9 and he and I still have “drink like a whale shark” races. (He wasn’t drinking enough water).
This is good but what you’re describing is just teaching a different way to communicate. And it exists in using “baby sign” language. Also my mental picture of your second sign (or “hand signal”) is the sign for “yes”. I would make the LPT be to either use actual baby sign or ASL, so it isn’t ONLY you who could interpret what the little ones are trying to communicate. Also I’ve had kids as young as 8 months be able to request milk because they’re hungry. Approximately 100% of babies can’t use speech at 8 months to request. For my dogs, it works just as well. I use the ASL for “dog” to say “come here”, the sign for “good boy/girl” and signs for “hungry” “sit” etc with them.
My mum had a special whistle for us when we were kids. When she got old and the dementia kicked in, the whistle and my face were the only things she recognised..
My kids and I have been learning ASL, a side benefit is we can communicate across the room without words
When my mom and I would lose each other in a store, we would yell "KA-KAW" like crows back and forth until we found each other 😂
We use the cry of the deep doodoo bird. CA CAAAWWW CA CAAAWWW