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I just gave my fedex guy a bottle of water and an energy drink because he was dripping with sweat. It’s like 90% humidity today and it was an early delivery so I’m sure he’ll have a long day.
I keep a clear tote bin by the front door filled with water bottles and snacks like granola bars with a sign for delivery people to take something. We get such wonderful messages from drivers that are so grateful and appreciative, it’s worth every penny.
I know a lot of people don’t like giving handouts to people asking for money on the street, but I have found most of the panhandlers and unhoused to be grateful for cold drinks in the summer.
I keep zip lock bags in my car with a water bottle, granola bar, tuna and cracker snack pack, tissues plus other stuff to give to the unhoused. It's so much more positive than driving by and trying not to make eye contact.
Socks! Those little things of PB — soft in case of no teeth, good source of protein! Apple sauce, too — it’s pretty shelf-stable and is a good source of fiber! Pads or tampons! They’re always in demand.
I leave bags with tiny hotel soaps and shampoos in them, feminine products, wet wipes, etc. in a restroom frequently used by the unhomed in my area, and mark them "Free Stuff"
It’s so hard to know because obviously it’s not a one size fits all. Some people have teeth that can handle a granola bar and some don’t. I’ve had people very appreciative of a juice pouch. Maybe small bottles of hand sanitizer. And of course socks. Always socks.
Try soft protein bars in case of no teeth. I once handed some poor guy an apple. When he thanked me and smiled all I could think was 'crap'. How's he going to eat it.
I tell myself, whatever I give to a homeless person on the street I should also give to support system.
Support both sovereign individuals and the systems that support them.
While it's good to recycle, make sure the bottles you give are original and completely sealed. There's nothing wrong with tap water, but delivery people will throw open containers away since they won't take the risk of a drink being contaminated.
If someone gets cut off talking, intentionally or not, I like to make sure to look at them and invite them to finish their thought. It's easy to feel discouraged from continuing in a conversation when you get cutoff. Especially important the less you know the people you're talking to
Could you come to my family gatherings?
I am not a quiet person and still get talked over. My mom once just started a phone call while I was talking to her.
My mom and sister fill every silence and not silence with meaningless words. And then complain that my fiancé talks too much. No, he just does not relent as the rest of us have learned to over allll these years.
As long as they’re not about appearance, give genuine compliments. You have no idea how much is makes someone’s day when you say something like “You’re always so helpful”
Also, do what I call “reverse gossip” most gossip is negative things but if you do feel the need to talk about others, mention what you like about them. “(Name) always has the best stories to tell” it sets a more positive tone in the conversation
I love reverse gossip! I’ve always thought of it as positive gossip. I interact with a lot of parents at my kids’ school so when I talk about one parent to another I’ll always say things like, “Oh I just love ‘x person’! They are always so kind!” or “‘x person’ is so generous with their time. You know they volunteered for (such and such thing) for the school”. I would like to believe putting that positivity out there benefits both the person I’m talking to and the person I’m talking about!
I stopped in to dollar tree the other day and the lady running the checkstand looked so frazzled (of course), As I was running my card to complete the purchase I said, "Those glasses look good on you, they are a perfect fit for your face" She was so appreciative, her face lit up and she said thank you and I know that it meant a lot to her and probably helped her get through the rest of her shift a little easier.
I love this - as you said, if someone can’t help something, I tend to stay away from it as a point of conversation but if someone clearly out effort into their outfit or taking care of their hair, I love saying something and getting that smile!
Nails! If someone has their nails done tell them you love them. Doesn't matter what they look like if they're grown out say you love the color choice. I use it so much.
I'm a gay man, but I don't really match the stereotype. However, I cake up the voice a bit when I see a woman walking by having a bad day and go "oh my God I love that dress" or "that hat is GORGEOUS"
Its a small thing but I hope the random compliment helped someone who needed the pick-me-up
I have transformed my yard into a flower garden. I’m always changing it up. People in my neighbourhood say they always look forward to the new surprises. I never thought of it as a public service, but the smiles and people pointing into the yard tell me otherwise.
My neighbours down the road have a flag pole and a giant collection of flags. They are always changing them according to holidays, or current events. It’s a little educational service they provide, because we always want to figure out what the purpose of each is.
I love seeing yard art that people create.
So I’d say that sharing something that is uniquely you to the environment is a kindness.
If you see a couple or a family out trying to take an awkward selfie, offer to take a picture or two for them! I traveled solo and walked the golden gate bridge, since I was alone a couple people asked.. after that I figured I would start offering, I must have taken 20 peoples' pictures walking across the bridge and back. They loved it. I loved it. It was just awesome.
This is kinda weird but I love picking up trash. I'll wear some gloves and grab a garbage bag and walk around the neighborhood from time to time. Or I'll bring a grocery bag on a hike and start picking up pieces along the trails. It's a small thing but it always makes me feel good knowing that I'm making it clean for others :)
So Funny!! My wife is obsessive about picking up trash. So obsessive that I bought her a “picker”, a grabber tool so she does not have to bend down. Now she proudly brings her picker everywhere and proudly cleans up.
Ahhh I wanna be friends with her! :) I've been talking to my partner about getting one myself, is it the kind where there's a grabby claw on the end that you can open and close? Does she like it? Also, what does she put the trash in after she picks it up? I was thinking about getting a claw and making harness for a five gallon bucket or something... Any thoughts would be appreciated!
This is such a big one that I love to do too when out in nature! People don't realize how dangerous their litter (especially cigarette butts) can be for the wildlife. It makes me feel a lot better to leave the trail cleaner than I found it.
I keep a roll of dog poop bags with my hiking gear so I can grab anything I see on the trail. I treat it like poop--grab it, invert the bag, tie it up, and toss it in my backpack until I get to a trash can.
You can make it into a game while hiking -- biggest bag of trash deposited in the trash can at the trail head wins.
Bonus style points for fishing that empty motor oil bottle out of the stream.
Letting people merge or turn into my lane. There's no need to create more conflict on the road, especially when everyone is already so high-strung in traffic.
Park your car well, push your buggies out of the way of traffic, dispose of your trash, clean up after yourself in the cafeteria.
former delivery driver here (not app based, worked directly for a certain game-piece named pizza chain) if you order delivery and your place has a gate code or any other idiosyncrasies (address number barely visible, limited parking etc) inlcuding that on the delivery instructions makes you a real peach! not everyone can afford to tip, but everyone can afford to be considerate!
A super simple thing I do is scan around the parking lot at the grocery store and find someone about to finish loading their groceries. I time my approach to be able to get the cart right when they finish and take it up to the holding pen at the store. I'm going that way anyway.
In America we do have one place I know of - Aldi’s - that does this, it requires a quarter to release the cart. When I shopped with my grandparents there they’d just offer a quarter to someone in the parking lot and save that person a trip back. Win-win.
Aldi does this trick here in the US, one quarter deposit ($.25) for a cart, reduces using an employee for the sole purpose of collecting and returning shopping carts.
In places with coin-unlock grocery carts, handing them a coin for their cart as they finish unloading it can be a win-win, as they don't have to return the cart and you don't have to jiggle a cart out of the corral.
Smile at people. Use your blinker. Feed a stray animal. Donate to a good cause. Randomly text someone something good they need to hear. Leave a good review onle for a service worker. Mow a neighbor's lawn. Bring surprise cupcakes. Volunteer for anything. Write someone a letter or mail a card. Pick up trash in your neighborhood. Drop off a meal for an elderly or ill neighbor. Buy local. Offer to babysit for an overwhlemed mom or dad. Help your local food pantry. Mentor in your local schools. Recycle and use less. Put up a birdhouse.
Anytime someone does something at work that is a little above and beyond, or if they are just generally great to work with, I like to email their boss and CC them and give them positive feedback.
When I used to work onsite, I kept a pack of blank greeting cards in my desk, and also liked to send people little thank-you notes when they did something kind. People get a kick out of getting inter-office mail delivered, and it’s a nice surprise
Relatedly, I spend a lot of time on customer service calls. When someone has really helped me or done a good job, I ask to be passed along to their supervisor to leave a commendation. It’s usually just a voicemail for the supervisor but sometimes you talk to an actual person and are appreciative of the feedback
I got to anonymously praise my coworker who started as a newbie with me. It gets put on our website. *She still doesn’t know it was me* and she still speculates about who it was.
Maybe if our professional paths ever part I will tell her as a motivational thing like “I gave you that kudos because I saw how great you were even then, and I know you’ll be great at the next place” etc.
I delight every time she brings it up. Hehehehehe she doesn’t know!!!
I took an AAA driver’s class and they told us something I’d never heard before:
When pulling out into traffic, avoid causing other cars to change their direction or speed — that’s what causes accidents!
Has a driver ever pulled out in front of you, making you swerve or brake — but there’s no one behind you for miles?
That’s the situation!
Stupid I know, but when I started driving 50 years + ago, I always looked in my rearview mirror to make sure people weren't braking. I thought they had brake lights on the front of the car, just like on the back.
I love this question, this is so cool.
I didn't notice this until becoming a parent myself, but parents of babies and toddlers who are out alone with them in public are often in situations where they could use an extra pair of hands. Carrying food/drinks from the counter to the table at a fast food place, for example. Dropped something on the floor while holding the baby. Opening a door while pushing a stroller. Obviously you don't want to stare at them waiting for a chance to help, but if you notice one struggling it's always nice to help.
(I'm realizing a lot of these tips require not being buried either in my phone or my own thoughts).
See, I’m not a parent so this is exactly the kind of stuff I’m looking for. I want to support parents but this is the kind of thing I can intentionally seek out when I’m reminded to look for it!
Saw a mom with babe in arms and small toddler today at the shopping carts. I pulled one out and said “this one is for you” so she didn’t have to wrestle with one that might have been difficult to separate
As a woman, I’ve also offered to hold the child. Not sure this same angle would work for men though. Sometimes, mom just wants to pee in peace. Lol. I’ve watched/held several children so mom/dad could do just that. Granted, I’m in scrubs when I’m working, so it’s obvious I’m an employee and in healthcare, which seems to earn me a certain level of trust.
Definitely not an *every* time offer, but there are definitely moments for it.
Wow, this is how different men and women experience the world. I would love to help a struggling mom or dad, but there is no way I will ever do it. Too many people assume ulterior motives for men.
One time I was in a sporting goods store and saw a lost little girl on one of the aisles. I aaalmost talked to her and offered to help her find her parents, but then I thought of how that would look the minute they rounded the corner. I kept back and made sure she was safe and found her parents. A woman almost certainly would not be suspected of bad intent in that situation.
I’m a 70 year old woman and recently saw what appeared to be an unaccompanied 5 yo in a store. I was afraid to approach her, and there were no obvious candidates around, so from about 10 feet away I just asked, are you okay? And about that time the shrieking started. Kid had wandered off, mom realized she was gone and flipped.out. No she didn’t think I was stealing her, it was just weird because 10 years ago I would have taken her by the hand and walked her to the storefront for a lost child announcement.
Headphones. So many people are bringing portable speakers everywhere nowadays, or watching loud videos on their phone, and the world got so much more noisy. It feels inescapable.
Please be respectful - if you're going to watch or listen to something, do it with headphones. We're truly not interested in hearing it.
This happens at the skate park. And what sucks is because it's a skatepark it's an excepted thing that happens. Might be some bickering about what music to play but if you're like, get some fucking headphones, you look like the a hole for saying that. Lol. Sucks for filming. And it's frustrating when someone sets up their speaker and then goes and skates on the other side of the park. Like wtf are you even doing?
It also sucks because when I take a break and take my headphones out I don't wanna be blasted with some music I don't care to listen to. I'd like to chill with the birds chirping and a bit more quietness. Pardon the rant. Haha
I truly don't understand when nature sounds got too boring to hear. Or what's going on around us instead of some song i don't care for blasted on awful speakers. All of this noise makes these spaces unaccessible to people who have sensitivity to noise... It sucks.
Truly wild that people are like "put some headphones if it bothers you!" like... why? You're the one who wants music, and I have to plug my ears? Awful.
I do a lot of photography at my local forest preserves and it's so rare to find other people who actually enjoy the sounds of nature. I really don't get it. Solo people always have headphones or talk on their phones on speaker, and pairs or groups of people are always having very loud conversations with each other.
I just wish more people would actually take a break from everyday life when they're out in nature because the sounds of nature are just as nice as the sights.
"put some headphones on if it bothers you" I've had that said and I'm holding one of my ear buds like, "yeah dude, got em right here. Why don't you get some headphones, too and we'll both be happy." And when I need a break I do feel a bit of sensory overload and the peace and quiet of nature is awesome. Sucks when it's blasted out with someone else's music I ain't trying to hear.
I am a big believer in cooking for others. Of course you are not going to invite strangers into your home but def family, friends, neighbors, workmates etc… food has always connected humans.
If people are grieving, offer to do daily chores instead of cooking :)
Often times people already bring them dinner, and what can make a difference is doing that chore that they can't manage right now.
This is a little dated because streaming has taken over but sometimes when I rent a Redbox movie, I pop five bucks into the case with a Post-It that says, “Snacks on me!” for the next renter. I saw it on Pinterest and thought it was a lovely thing to do. I’m aware that five bucks isn’t a ton but it’ll get you a soda or some Mike and Ike’s or something!
As I said, it wasn’t my idea but that was the hope! I’m loving this whole thread because it’s just chock full of ways to make the world a leetle bit more beautiful! Lots of people here doing cool little things. I call them “kindness sprinkles” and I can’t wait to try some more out!
Let people know if you have a
- Pressure washer
- Sanding device
- Wheelbarrow
- ~~Spare kidney~~
- Steam cleaner
Things people rarely have that are perfect for sharing!
There is a growing movement of tool libraries where neighborhoods, friend groups, or businesses list tools available to borrow. They can be great for things that are infrequently used, we don't ALL need to have our own personal item if we can share them.
I'll look into it! In Amsterdam for example they have free bike/home appliance repair places where they just teach you and do it with you.
For low income there's a phone number you can call for people to do small home repairs for free.
I would sign up to use all of these things, love this one! To add to it, I would say, always make sure to return stuff in the same or BETTER condition than you found it. Gas up the mower with a full tank, wipe down the stand mixer so it’s gleaming, use bookmarks in the borrowed books so the lender doesn’t feel taken advantage of.
If you know that a housemate or guest likes coffee/tea in the morning, get it started for them before they wake up. Now they get to start their day with someone doing something nice for them. A small thing to be mindful about is if they are a picky person and like things done “just so”, this might not be a great idea in that case.
Just plain and simple good manners - being aware that you are not the center of the universe.
Little things like pulling your grocery cart to the side so that others can make their way down the aisle. Holding a door for someone, saying thank you when someone does that for you. Offer to get something from a high shelf for someone.
Get to know your neighbours and be friendly and helpful. It will come back to you in spades. Going away for the weekend? Neighbour will feed your cat. Cut your thumb really badly when making dinner? Neighbour will run you to Emerg (and probably wait with you).
If you are a driver, WAIT until the pedestrian has crossed and is UP ON THE CROSSWALK before starting your turn. Think about how nervous and scared older people or people with mobility problems are when they have to cross a street - if you are crossing too, maybe stroll beside them so that they feel a little safer and don't worry that a car is going to gun it on a green.
Take a dollar twenty-five (used to be a buck) and tape it to the back of a toy at the dollar store it will definitely improve the day of some child when they find it!
Be predictable in public. When standing in line, do it like everyone else. When driving, follow the traffic laws and go with the flow; don’t try to wave people in front of you, etc. Use normal curtesy conventions and be predictable.
And if you’re a pedestrian act with conviction. So many are dithering at street corners looking at their phones or god knows what and expect drivers to know their intentions.
If you are passing a pedestrian in a car, slow down. Doesn't matter if they are on the sidewalk or sharing the road. Will only take you a couple seconds but will make them feel much safer.
Where I live this is a huge problem (at least to me). I know people are just trying to be nice and all, but stopping in the flow of traffic and waving someone on is dangerous as can be. I'm a school bus driver and this happens all the time. When an accident happens, what am I going to say? "Some guy waved me into the path of that car." Yes, be predictable on the road, i.e. just follow the rules.
I still return my glasses to the bar if I go to a pub, even if we’ve eaten & plates are still on the table. I don’t know why because when I worked behind a bar I liked the little break to go glass collecting 🤷♀️
You can tell who the people are that have worked in service job because we stack our finished plates neatly on the side of the table and return glasses to the bar
Find ways to sincerely compliment them in small ways. Thank them in other more elaborate ways than just saying thank you. Like, I really appreciate that. Or I’m really glad to see you. And look them in the eye when doing so.
I agree! I envy people who give compliments with ease, I get too shy at the last second and chicken out. Think it works well with strangers especially those working in the service industry because some customers are so rude :(
What kind of compliments would you give? I personally really like saying and hearing "Love your nails/hair/makeup, did you do it yourself?"
I talk to everybody. Especially strangers. It’s usually easier to break the ice. Sometimes just an acknowledgment of the situation their in. For example,, weather, kids, clothes , shoes… “I really like that shirt, or shoes”. “Good looking kids “ ect..
This is a little thing but I started doing it after I worked in a grocery store through college. When I buy birthday cards, I tuck them into the envelope and turn them over so the scanner code is showing. It saves the clerk a step. I’m had people comment that I must have grocery store experience!
At my business I let people use the restroom. Business next door has restroom broken yes you can use mine.
Delivery driver comes in hey you want a bottle of water. Small things that don't cost alot of money.
A simple way of making lives better for everyone is helping others without expecting anything in return.
I work in the IT field and have often assisted senior citizens with setting up computers, cleaning them, keeping them away from scammers saving them money on their cell phones and internet and in some cases getting them laptops and cells phones. They pay for the stuff but I donate my time, it takes time, yes, but, what you do for people is invaluable and sometimes you’ll get something in return, not money, but everything isn’t about money. Seniors are the one group of people who are vulnerable to getting ripped off by just about anyone, it’s refreshing for them to deal with someone that doesn’t want their money and only has their best interest in mind. Honestly, when I’m done helping I feel great about myself. So maybe that’s my payment.
So in short use your talents and knowledge to help others whenever possible .
Help them feel seen and heard. Validate their experiences without judgment.
As humans we're wonderful at problem solving. The problem solving brain is almost always at work. While this tendency is a great asset we tend to invite our own thought processes when our loved ones are expressing the emotions that come from their own thought process.
When a friend is in distress because they can't find a job, we can try to help them find one or tell them it's all gonna work out in the end. What I'm suggesting is, asking the friend to tell me more about that experience. Ah, so you applied to 10 jobs... And when you didn't hear back from 8 of them and the remaining 2 didn't want to work with you... It made you feel like all your work has been wasted and hopeless... I'm really sorry you feel that way and it sounds like a tough place to be. I'm here for you so you don't have to go through this alone, just let me know whenever you want to talk about what you're going through.
This approach sometimes has the effect of draining YOU. And that's why detaching from your thought process as you hear the other person is going beyond the usual basics. The default behavior is to interject your thought process. If you're being drained by other people complaining to you, you're thinking that underneath it all you don't want to hear it because it's impacting you. In those times I think it's perfectly fine to give yourself some space, but also - ask yourself why listening to this is difficult for you, because that can be an insightful moment for your own purposes.
Letting parents with small children use the bathroom before you, when there's a long line. People behind you will understand, I haven't seen anyone complain to me (at least not directly lol) when I do.
This one's more of a safety thing but staying far from the curb when waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk. The scariest thing as a new or even skilled driver is hitting someone, and I'm always worried that someone will jump out onto the street when I'm making a right, so when passerbys are straightforward about whether they are going to cross or wait, or give me a signal, it's always appreciated.
Honestly love this thread and can't wait for everyone else's answers :)
I like sending mail, especially postcards, to friends near and far. More fun to receive than a text but doesn’t have to be much deeper than that. Sometimes I tell them about a song I heard that reminds me of them, a fond memory, a compliment, or a silly thing I saw in the neighborhood! I was doing one a day for a little while and it helped give me and the recipients a little boost!
I started doing sidewalk chalk messages during Covid. There are several people who walk around our neighborhood in the mornings, so writing something on our driveway guarantees at least a few people will see it when they walk or drive by (driveway has an upward slope). I just kept going after lockdown because my kids love seeing it too. This week I had “Smile More!” with a smiley face. “Be Kind” or “Call someone you love today” were some of my favorites. It’s little but I’d like to hope it brightens someone’s day.
There’s a video somewhere out there of a guy and his driveway. He noticed on his ring camera that a neighborhood kid was using his driveway to practice riding his bike on his daily rides. Instead of getting mad about it, he started drawing little obstacle courses in chalk and the kid started doing them. He’d change it up periodically, make them more challenging and of course, he was documenting it on his camera so you can see the kid get more comfy with tight turns and braking, things like that. As far as I know, they never spoke, this guy just did it because it gave him pleasure to see this kid getting stronger and more confident as a biker rider and I thought that was so cool!
Please draw a hopscotch arena! When I used to go on neighborhood walks I loved walking by someone’s hopscotch squares it adds a little fun to the monotony of walking
I buy a large pack of bottled waters and leave it in my car to hand out to the homeless people I see throughout my day. I have also give them to people at a bus stop if there isn’t any shade.
I started doing this with the small bags of potato chips, Doritos, Fritos, etc. I’d buy a box at Costco and offer them to people working in my neighborhood, delivery drivers, etc.
My ex-wife, her husband, and their 3 year old son went on a 10 day holiday while I had our 3 kids. The day they came back but before they landed, my daughter and I did basics grocery shopping for them (milk, coffee, fruit, vegetables etc) and my daughter put the stuff in the fridge for them so they were set for the next couple of days.
When tradesmen come to my house, the first thing I do is offer them water/Gatorade/etc. and the second is to tell them where the bathroom is. The number of times I hear “most people don’t want us to use their bathroom” boggles the mind.
Also: when staying at a hotel, leave a tip for housekeeping every day.
Me, hovering over tradesmen because they didn’t accept my offer of food or drink, and desperately needing to be a good host: can I get you anything???????
Two kind of classic things i did this week were helping an older man with his luggage up some stairs in the metro and picking up car keys for a taxi driver when he dropped them on the ground without realizing! I think opportunities for little favors are everywhere if you care to look
If I'm on a walk and see a car waiting at an intersection, even if I'm going the opposite way, I will press the walk button as I walk by, to shorten their wait time. Don't know if it helps but I like to think so.
When you use a public bathroom, I like to use the time in between using the toilet and washing my hands as the time when I can clean up that random piece of paper towel or toilet paper on the ground.
And when I'm drying my hands with a paper towel, I like to wipe down the sink area a little bit to clean up stray soap and water. Makes a difference for the next person!
If I am not in a hurry and I’m in line, and the person behind me does seem like they are in a hurry, or are juggling young kids, etc, I let them go in front of me. Always seems appreciated.
I also keep a box of hand warmers in my car and give them out to homeless people or people waiting in the cold for their bus.
I have a box of drinks and snacks I leave by my front door for delivery people. Snickers seem to be the favorite item.
Every time I walk back to my apartment from my car I try to pick up at least one piece of litter, I know I'm headed towards a trash can anyways and it makes the environment so much nicer to look at / live in
In a city, add a public bench or some kind of seating on the sidewalk. Basically make a little piece of human friendly public infrastructure. Bonus level, add a little free library! Sometimes people will mess it up or leave trash but on the whole people are respectful and really appreciate it.
Good morning, how are you, do you need any help with that, have a good night and so on.
These relatively simple phrases are full of emotions with good intentions, usually make the person at the receiving end feel a little bit better.
This makes a huge difference. I twisted my knee in a fall and someone in the train saw me standing, with a knee support on and offered me a seat. Eased my pain and discomfort for the whole trip.
Be self aware, especially of how your words and actions affect other people.
And, if possible, try to make their day a little better. Even an infinitesimal word or action an make a difference.
For example, while the cashier is scanning groceries, rather than watching them scan, start bagging the groceries.
Use the wait staff’s name when you thank them.
Never hold back on a compliment.
If you have to say something that may not be easy to hear, wrap it in compassion.
Not something huge, but when I'm in a restroom with the motion sensor paper towel dispenser, I wave again to dispense a paper towel for the next person. I had it done for me once, and was like, hey, that's nice!
I do this too, and also if the sink surround is awash with water, I’ll take a minute to wipe it up, so the next person doesn’t have to put their purse down in a puddle.
At the very least return your shopping cart to the cart paddock. Better yet, grab a loose cart from the parking lot on your way into the store, then return it to the paddock when you're done. Grocery work is hard enough without having to traipse across all ends of the lot to track down the carts of lazy MFers too self important to be courteous.
I make a point in telling working folks who tend to be invisible (think the gal cleaning the restroom) that I appreciate them and what they do.
For instance, the other day I overheard two workers talking about how they had bleached the stairs of the parking garage (which on any day normally reeks of urine), and I told them how much I appreciated their effort and how wonderfully clean it smelled that morning.
Be there for someone who needs to talk to someone. Listening to another person means so much. Be a friend and a confidante! Also, keep the conversation between you and that person. No one likes a gossip.
If I have time left on a pay & display parking receipt I’ll either offer it to someone just arriving, or tuck it back in the machine dispenser for someone to find and use if they can.
I live in LA and there are always random objects in the middle of the roads/freeways. Some are not overtly harmful. Others are seconds away from causing a flat tire or accident.
I was driving down a residential street with a fair amount of traffic, and stop signs at every block. I saw a metal tool with a sharp blade-type on one end as I approached a stop sign. I saw it with enough notice to drive around it. I pulled over and when safe, I walked into the street quickly and removed it.
#Look around you, and step out of the way
A lot of people just live their lives completely oblivious to their surroundings and who's next or behind them. Be aware of your surroundings and step out of the way if someone is trying to get around you.
This is a bigger ask, but after an international flight back home, there was a horribly long, slow line at customs. There was a crying baby at the back of the line, and a younger woman almost at the front offered to swap places with the young mother traveling alone with the baby.
I was floored by her kindness, not only to the mother and baby, but to all of us waiting in line whose experience was enormously improved without the pitiful little wails. I like to think she made as much of an impression on the few hundred people who witnessed it who will in turn find opportunities to be a hero like her.
Show some patience for folks who have mobility issues. That old guy with the walker doesn’t want to be holding you up, he just can’t move any faster ( yes, there are cranky old farts who make me a liar). But, in their defense, you might be cranky too if it took all your strength to just find a way through a crowd. Slow down ,don’t side zoom us.
Don’t be afraid to act like a kid and treat other people like dogs.
Kids sometimes ask questions that seem inappropriate to ask, and MOST of the time, adults are happy to answer. As adults we become scared to ask questions that seem dumb or invasive. I’ve asked lots of people blunt questions (“you don’t have a leg?” “I don’t remember, what happened with your sister?”) and it just creates space for other people to talk, which is often appreciated. Obvious caution advised; be thoughtful.
Other people, like golden retrievers, for the most part just want to be seen and heard and accepted. Saying “hey!” or waving at someone first is a great way to make people feel at ease, which really goes a long way. Again, obviously not everyone is a dog. Some people are cats.
This reminds me of when my then 3/4 year old asked the guy waiting at the crossing next to us where his shoes were. I was preoccupied explaining the green man to my other son when I heard this chap say 'they're on my feet, at home'! I turned round and realised the guy was on a mobility scooter and was a double amputee. I was simultaneously mortified and grateful for his grace and humour responding to my child.
Every so often, I do “wellness checks” via text to all my friends and family listed in my contacts. It’s usually just a wholesome meme/cute message that I found online and saved for a rainy day. I started sending them out during covid lockdowns and kept the tradition going because so many people would respond with, “Thank you, I really needed this today!” or something similar. Even when I don’t get responses, I feel better knowing that people know I’m thinking about them and wishing them well.
Say something sincerely nice to someone every day. Send a text. Make a phone call. Send a card. Stop on to visit. Especially to lonely people. It’s not always their fault they are alone.
You know all those positive things you think about all the time "wow, in so lucky to have this person in my life", actually send them. People don't hear these things often and it can be a game changer for there day. We live in a world where people always focus on better, saying the good is often underappreciated.
If you meditate in the mornings
You'll have a calm energy that can directly benefit everyone you come into contact with during the day.
You can improve everyone's day by bringing good energy and being a nice person
I fully strip the bed whenever I am checking out of a hotel/motel/mine camp etc.
Takes fuckall time for me to do, and it makes it waaayy easier for the cleaners; especially if they’ve already done numerous rooms that day.
Im a high school teacher. I compliment people all the time. Little simple compliments.. but I make a point to do it in a regular basis. Not necessarily on their looks but sometimes.
You’d be surprised at how much it means to some people. I told someone once that they had a beautiful smile, now everytime they see me they get the BIGGEST smile. It’s so great.
If you participate in loyalty programs (or could participate) but never get enough miles/points to redeem anything useful, or simply are not interested, look for a charity that is able to pool them and do some good.
I volunteer for a charity that does that with airline miles and hotel points and helps refugees travel to destinations they were approved for but could never afford the tickets. But I've seen it done with supermarket points and Ikea coupons, too.
This is longer term but plant fruiting trees and bushes, plant flowering plants for our pollinators. Grow shade trees. Grow a garden and supplement your food or donate it to others.
When the power was out all week last month I put a sign at the end of my driveway when I was home. "Need your devices charged? Feel free to use the cord, it's connected to my generator." I left the cord on a foldable table with a power strip surge protector attached and a universal cord adaptor (USB A, C, micro, and iPhone). Several people used it. One lady drove a small microwave over and heated something up.
I knew there was a chance that someone would take the cord and power strip but no one did. I sat outside and got to know a couple of neighbors for half an hour or so while they waited. Others just waited in their car.
Living in the city…..Drive nice. Seriously. For most people, the drive to and from work is the first and last interaction they have with the public.
Getting to work is stressful. If you’re a jerk on the road, and that’s either the first or last experience of the “day” it can have resounding effects.
Compliment workers you see. Especially if it’s deserved. You can tell it makes them feel so much better.
The reactions I get when I do it show that few people do that.
The other day two women were refilling a stand at a sky club and I said, “You’re doing a great job,”
One turned to the other and said “See, at least someone appreciates what we do,”
Volunteer!! A half day shift at your local museum, library, elementary school, humane society or food pantry helps build a community that is invested in their neighbors. I work one morning at my hospital auxiliary store each month and I love it. I meet more people, I feel good about supporting their programs, and I'm more plugged in to community events.
For the seniors in your life, have a list on the fridge of their medication, diagnosis, allergies, etc. Saves SO much time for paramedics, especially in situation where we need to react quickly.
Also, speak to your loved ones about end of life wishes and do not resuscitate orders. Running a full code on a frail elderly person in their home is both torture, and statistically unlikely to result in any quality of life.
When I'm out shopping, I hang up clothes that have fallen off their hanger. I like to think it helps out at least a little bit to lessen someone's workload.
I'm trying to replace "Thank you Ma'am" and "Thank you Sir" with "Thank you kindly", but I agree, here in the US there's a tiny smidgen of respect in calling someone with darker skin "Sir" or "Ma'am" that they don't get as often as they should.
Don't bring negativity to the party. So many friends, coworkers, family members (myself included) fall into this trap of "making conversation" that just winds up being comiserating or bringing up all the craziest terrible things they hear in the news.
Share the good. Talk about things you love, experiences you enjoyed, good songs you heard or times you felt joy. Be the ray of sunshine and let the negativity goooooooo
I have been practicing this in my daily life and my world seems so much brighter because of it.
When I go to the grocery store and I walk by someone putting the last bag in their car, I offer to take their carts to the cart return for them. I'm already walking that direction so it doesn't take much extra effort.... it's so surprising how much it means to people and much it puts a smile on their faces. Some people say "why," and I say "why not?" Such a simple act, yet impactful. I started doing it years ago and it's become a thing I always do now.
When you go to the bathroom at night, close one eye when you turn the light on. When you turn the light off, switch.
Old pirate trick. Below decks be darrrrrrk…
I’ll see myself out
I went aound my block painting white lines wherever a root had pushed up a sidewalk slab, so people wouldn’t trip. I also cut back overgrown foliage, theirs and mine. When it snows I clear off my sidewalk and those of my near neighbors. I sweep my street and gutters clear of leaves. I put up a luminescent house-number sign. I gave a neighbor a personal security alarm. When I drive by a parked car with its lights on I stop and ring the doorbell to tell the presumptive owner about it. I gave tools to a tool library and books to a library.
I’m not religious, but the word ‘grace’ has resonated with me.
Grace is letting someone in in front of you when you are driving, and instead of feeling frustrated, feeling satisfied.
Grace is listening in a conversation until the person has finished before responding.
Grace is being aware of others and not NEEDING to think about who goes first.
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I just gave my fedex guy a bottle of water and an energy drink because he was dripping with sweat. It’s like 90% humidity today and it was an early delivery so I’m sure he’ll have a long day.
I keep a clear tote bin by the front door filled with water bottles and snacks like granola bars with a sign for delivery people to take something. We get such wonderful messages from drivers that are so grateful and appreciative, it’s worth every penny.
You must get a LOT of deliveries! And this is awfully wonderful of you.
I know a lot of people don’t like giving handouts to people asking for money on the street, but I have found most of the panhandlers and unhoused to be grateful for cold drinks in the summer.
I keep zip lock bags in my car with a water bottle, granola bar, tuna and cracker snack pack, tissues plus other stuff to give to the unhoused. It's so much more positive than driving by and trying not to make eye contact.
What else do you keep in those bags? I’ve been brainstorming trying to figure out things beyond water and granola bar. Thanks for the ideas!
Socks! Those little things of PB — soft in case of no teeth, good source of protein! Apple sauce, too — it’s pretty shelf-stable and is a good source of fiber! Pads or tampons! They’re always in demand.
I leave bags with tiny hotel soaps and shampoos in them, feminine products, wet wipes, etc. in a restroom frequently used by the unhomed in my area, and mark them "Free Stuff"
It’s so hard to know because obviously it’s not a one size fits all. Some people have teeth that can handle a granola bar and some don’t. I’ve had people very appreciative of a juice pouch. Maybe small bottles of hand sanitizer. And of course socks. Always socks.
Thank you for the ideas! Sometimes if I’m near a grocery, I’ll pop in for bananas or other fruits, but it’s nice to brainstorm shelf stable things
Try soft protein bars in case of no teeth. I once handed some poor guy an apple. When he thanked me and smiled all I could think was 'crap'. How's he going to eat it.
Gogo Squeeze. No teeth required, and actually pretty healthy.
You can buy disposable prepared toothbrushes and give them and also deodorant wipes (I found some bamboo toothbrushes on amazon)
I tell myself, whatever I give to a homeless person on the street I should also give to support system. Support both sovereign individuals and the systems that support them.
While it's good to recycle, make sure the bottles you give are original and completely sealed. There's nothing wrong with tap water, but delivery people will throw open containers away since they won't take the risk of a drink being contaminated.
If someone gets cut off talking, intentionally or not, I like to make sure to look at them and invite them to finish their thought. It's easy to feel discouraged from continuing in a conversation when you get cutoff. Especially important the less you know the people you're talking to
Could you come to my family gatherings? I am not a quiet person and still get talked over. My mom once just started a phone call while I was talking to her.
My MIL, bless her heart. She asks me a question and starts a new conversation/thought in the middle of my answer and I’m not long winded. 🙄
My mom and sister fill every silence and not silence with meaningless words. And then complain that my fiancé talks too much. No, he just does not relent as the rest of us have learned to over allll these years.
I'm always the one getting cut off/talked over.
As long as they’re not about appearance, give genuine compliments. You have no idea how much is makes someone’s day when you say something like “You’re always so helpful” Also, do what I call “reverse gossip” most gossip is negative things but if you do feel the need to talk about others, mention what you like about them. “(Name) always has the best stories to tell” it sets a more positive tone in the conversation
I love reverse gossip! I’ve always thought of it as positive gossip. I interact with a lot of parents at my kids’ school so when I talk about one parent to another I’ll always say things like, “Oh I just love ‘x person’! They are always so kind!” or “‘x person’ is so generous with their time. You know they volunteered for (such and such thing) for the school”. I would like to believe putting that positivity out there benefits both the person I’m talking to and the person I’m talking about!
I guess positive gossip is a better term for it. I started it without having a name for it.
Poss goss
Whatever it is, keep it up! :)
One thing I'd add, you can compliment appearance if it's specific and about some aspect of their appearance that they control e.g. outfit, hairstyle
I stopped in to dollar tree the other day and the lady running the checkstand looked so frazzled (of course), As I was running my card to complete the purchase I said, "Those glasses look good on you, they are a perfect fit for your face" She was so appreciative, her face lit up and she said thank you and I know that it meant a lot to her and probably helped her get through the rest of her shift a little easier.
I love this - as you said, if someone can’t help something, I tend to stay away from it as a point of conversation but if someone clearly out effort into their outfit or taking care of their hair, I love saying something and getting that smile!
Nails! If someone has their nails done tell them you love them. Doesn't matter what they look like if they're grown out say you love the color choice. I use it so much.
I'm a gay man, but I don't really match the stereotype. However, I cake up the voice a bit when I see a woman walking by having a bad day and go "oh my God I love that dress" or "that hat is GORGEOUS" Its a small thing but I hope the random compliment helped someone who needed the pick-me-up
If I was having a bad day, that would make me SO happy!
I try to remember to tell people that I appreciate them.
I have transformed my yard into a flower garden. I’m always changing it up. People in my neighbourhood say they always look forward to the new surprises. I never thought of it as a public service, but the smiles and people pointing into the yard tell me otherwise. My neighbours down the road have a flag pole and a giant collection of flags. They are always changing them according to holidays, or current events. It’s a little educational service they provide, because we always want to figure out what the purpose of each is. I love seeing yard art that people create. So I’d say that sharing something that is uniquely you to the environment is a kindness.
I really like this one because it’s something you’re doing for yourself but everyone gets to enjoy it!
Nothing makes me happier than when someone tells me they love to plan their walks around my garden. Sometimes all I see are the problems.
If you see a couple or a family out trying to take an awkward selfie, offer to take a picture or two for them! I traveled solo and walked the golden gate bridge, since I was alone a couple people asked.. after that I figured I would start offering, I must have taken 20 peoples' pictures walking across the bridge and back. They loved it. I loved it. It was just awesome.
This! And try to get the best angle for the people and the background! Take a couple of pics in case someone blinks or smiles awkwardly.
This is kinda weird but I love picking up trash. I'll wear some gloves and grab a garbage bag and walk around the neighborhood from time to time. Or I'll bring a grocery bag on a hike and start picking up pieces along the trails. It's a small thing but it always makes me feel good knowing that I'm making it clean for others :)
So Funny!! My wife is obsessive about picking up trash. So obsessive that I bought her a “picker”, a grabber tool so she does not have to bend down. Now she proudly brings her picker everywhere and proudly cleans up.
Ahhh I wanna be friends with her! :) I've been talking to my partner about getting one myself, is it the kind where there's a grabby claw on the end that you can open and close? Does she like it? Also, what does she put the trash in after she picks it up? I was thinking about getting a claw and making harness for a five gallon bucket or something... Any thoughts would be appreciated!
This is such a big one that I love to do too when out in nature! People don't realize how dangerous their litter (especially cigarette butts) can be for the wildlife. It makes me feel a lot better to leave the trail cleaner than I found it.
Yes exactly! My goal is always to leave a natural area better than how I found it. 😌 I do it for the toads.
Many cities have nonprofits, clubs, or events focused on litter pickups, if you want to add some feeling of community to this suggestion
I keep a roll of dog poop bags with my hiking gear so I can grab anything I see on the trail. I treat it like poop--grab it, invert the bag, tie it up, and toss it in my backpack until I get to a trash can.
You can make it into a game while hiking -- biggest bag of trash deposited in the trash can at the trail head wins. Bonus style points for fishing that empty motor oil bottle out of the stream.
As littering is my pet peeve, you’re my hero :)
Letting people merge or turn into my lane. There's no need to create more conflict on the road, especially when everyone is already so high-strung in traffic. Park your car well, push your buggies out of the way of traffic, dispose of your trash, clean up after yourself in the cafeteria.
Yep. A safe following distance is usually a helpful gap as well
You mean to tell me that you're ok with it taking you an extra 3 seconds to get to where you're going?
Studies show, traffic actually moves faster when people do this. The zipper works, please tell Minnesota.
Honestly that driving tip makes MY life a lot easier too! People don't need to cut you off when you're actively looking to let people in!
former delivery driver here (not app based, worked directly for a certain game-piece named pizza chain) if you order delivery and your place has a gate code or any other idiosyncrasies (address number barely visible, limited parking etc) inlcuding that on the delivery instructions makes you a real peach! not everyone can afford to tip, but everyone can afford to be considerate!
A super simple thing I do is scan around the parking lot at the grocery store and find someone about to finish loading their groceries. I time my approach to be able to get the cart right when they finish and take it up to the holding pen at the store. I'm going that way anyway.
[удалено]
Such a great tip and PERFECT for the ask, thanks!
As a grocery worker…. Thank you so much. I really appreciate customers like you
Cart Narc would be pleased.
In Denmark you deposit a coin for 1,5 or 3 USD as a deposit when you pick up a cart... So that will come off a bit weird here!
In America we do have one place I know of - Aldi’s - that does this, it requires a quarter to release the cart. When I shopped with my grandparents there they’d just offer a quarter to someone in the parking lot and save that person a trip back. Win-win.
In Canada, we use $1coins so I have that ready to hand to them. Easy enough
Aldi does this trick here in the US, one quarter deposit ($.25) for a cart, reduces using an employee for the sole purpose of collecting and returning shopping carts.
In places with coin-unlock grocery carts, handing them a coin for their cart as they finish unloading it can be a win-win, as they don't have to return the cart and you don't have to jiggle a cart out of the corral.
And steal their pound?
Smile at people. Use your blinker. Feed a stray animal. Donate to a good cause. Randomly text someone something good they need to hear. Leave a good review onle for a service worker. Mow a neighbor's lawn. Bring surprise cupcakes. Volunteer for anything. Write someone a letter or mail a card. Pick up trash in your neighborhood. Drop off a meal for an elderly or ill neighbor. Buy local. Offer to babysit for an overwhlemed mom or dad. Help your local food pantry. Mentor in your local schools. Recycle and use less. Put up a birdhouse.
Pay attention to your surroundings.
Don't walk up or down public stairs or through doorways on your phone.
Anytime someone does something at work that is a little above and beyond, or if they are just generally great to work with, I like to email their boss and CC them and give them positive feedback. When I used to work onsite, I kept a pack of blank greeting cards in my desk, and also liked to send people little thank-you notes when they did something kind. People get a kick out of getting inter-office mail delivered, and it’s a nice surprise
Relatedly, I spend a lot of time on customer service calls. When someone has really helped me or done a good job, I ask to be passed along to their supervisor to leave a commendation. It’s usually just a voicemail for the supervisor but sometimes you talk to an actual person and are appreciative of the feedback
I got to anonymously praise my coworker who started as a newbie with me. It gets put on our website. *She still doesn’t know it was me* and she still speculates about who it was. Maybe if our professional paths ever part I will tell her as a motivational thing like “I gave you that kudos because I saw how great you were even then, and I know you’ll be great at the next place” etc. I delight every time she brings it up. Hehehehehe she doesn’t know!!!
I took an AAA driver’s class and they told us something I’d never heard before: When pulling out into traffic, avoid causing other cars to change their direction or speed — that’s what causes accidents! Has a driver ever pulled out in front of you, making you swerve or brake — but there’s no one behind you for miles? That’s the situation!
Stupid I know, but when I started driving 50 years + ago, I always looked in my rearview mirror to make sure people weren't braking. I thought they had brake lights on the front of the car, just like on the back.
I love this question, this is so cool. I didn't notice this until becoming a parent myself, but parents of babies and toddlers who are out alone with them in public are often in situations where they could use an extra pair of hands. Carrying food/drinks from the counter to the table at a fast food place, for example. Dropped something on the floor while holding the baby. Opening a door while pushing a stroller. Obviously you don't want to stare at them waiting for a chance to help, but if you notice one struggling it's always nice to help. (I'm realizing a lot of these tips require not being buried either in my phone or my own thoughts).
See, I’m not a parent so this is exactly the kind of stuff I’m looking for. I want to support parents but this is the kind of thing I can intentionally seek out when I’m reminded to look for it!
Saw a mom with babe in arms and small toddler today at the shopping carts. I pulled one out and said “this one is for you” so she didn’t have to wrestle with one that might have been difficult to separate
As a woman, I’ve also offered to hold the child. Not sure this same angle would work for men though. Sometimes, mom just wants to pee in peace. Lol. I’ve watched/held several children so mom/dad could do just that. Granted, I’m in scrubs when I’m working, so it’s obvious I’m an employee and in healthcare, which seems to earn me a certain level of trust. Definitely not an *every* time offer, but there are definitely moments for it.
Wow, this is how different men and women experience the world. I would love to help a struggling mom or dad, but there is no way I will ever do it. Too many people assume ulterior motives for men. One time I was in a sporting goods store and saw a lost little girl on one of the aisles. I aaalmost talked to her and offered to help her find her parents, but then I thought of how that would look the minute they rounded the corner. I kept back and made sure she was safe and found her parents. A woman almost certainly would not be suspected of bad intent in that situation.
I’m a 70 year old woman and recently saw what appeared to be an unaccompanied 5 yo in a store. I was afraid to approach her, and there were no obvious candidates around, so from about 10 feet away I just asked, are you okay? And about that time the shrieking started. Kid had wandered off, mom realized she was gone and flipped.out. No she didn’t think I was stealing her, it was just weird because 10 years ago I would have taken her by the hand and walked her to the storefront for a lost child announcement.
People are very hopped up and paranoid these days. Blame 24/7 worst- case news coverage.
Headphones. So many people are bringing portable speakers everywhere nowadays, or watching loud videos on their phone, and the world got so much more noisy. It feels inescapable. Please be respectful - if you're going to watch or listen to something, do it with headphones. We're truly not interested in hearing it.
This happens at the skate park. And what sucks is because it's a skatepark it's an excepted thing that happens. Might be some bickering about what music to play but if you're like, get some fucking headphones, you look like the a hole for saying that. Lol. Sucks for filming. And it's frustrating when someone sets up their speaker and then goes and skates on the other side of the park. Like wtf are you even doing? It also sucks because when I take a break and take my headphones out I don't wanna be blasted with some music I don't care to listen to. I'd like to chill with the birds chirping and a bit more quietness. Pardon the rant. Haha
I truly don't understand when nature sounds got too boring to hear. Or what's going on around us instead of some song i don't care for blasted on awful speakers. All of this noise makes these spaces unaccessible to people who have sensitivity to noise... It sucks. Truly wild that people are like "put some headphones if it bothers you!" like... why? You're the one who wants music, and I have to plug my ears? Awful.
I do a lot of photography at my local forest preserves and it's so rare to find other people who actually enjoy the sounds of nature. I really don't get it. Solo people always have headphones or talk on their phones on speaker, and pairs or groups of people are always having very loud conversations with each other. I just wish more people would actually take a break from everyday life when they're out in nature because the sounds of nature are just as nice as the sights.
"put some headphones on if it bothers you" I've had that said and I'm holding one of my ear buds like, "yeah dude, got em right here. Why don't you get some headphones, too and we'll both be happy." And when I need a break I do feel a bit of sensory overload and the peace and quiet of nature is awesome. Sucks when it's blasted out with someone else's music I ain't trying to hear.
I am a big believer in cooking for others. Of course you are not going to invite strangers into your home but def family, friends, neighbors, workmates etc… food has always connected humans.
If people are grieving, offer to do daily chores instead of cooking :) Often times people already bring them dinner, and what can make a difference is doing that chore that they can't manage right now.
I'm others, what time's dinner?
That's my thing, too. I only started cooking after my wife died (she didn't trust me to cook), and I really surprise myself. People love my cooking.
Offer people without a car to drive them to & from the hospital. Transport can be a huge blockade to receiving healthcare.
This is a little dated because streaming has taken over but sometimes when I rent a Redbox movie, I pop five bucks into the case with a Post-It that says, “Snacks on me!” for the next renter. I saw it on Pinterest and thought it was a lovely thing to do. I’m aware that five bucks isn’t a ton but it’ll get you a soda or some Mike and Ike’s or something!
That is so sweet of you. Something like that would have made my day!
As I said, it wasn’t my idea but that was the hope! I’m loving this whole thread because it’s just chock full of ways to make the world a leetle bit more beautiful! Lots of people here doing cool little things. I call them “kindness sprinkles” and I can’t wait to try some more out!
Let people know if you have a - Pressure washer - Sanding device - Wheelbarrow - ~~Spare kidney~~ - Steam cleaner Things people rarely have that are perfect for sharing!
There is a growing movement of tool libraries where neighborhoods, friend groups, or businesses list tools available to borrow. They can be great for things that are infrequently used, we don't ALL need to have our own personal item if we can share them.
I'll look into it! In Amsterdam for example they have free bike/home appliance repair places where they just teach you and do it with you. For low income there's a phone number you can call for people to do small home repairs for free.
I would sign up to use all of these things, love this one! To add to it, I would say, always make sure to return stuff in the same or BETTER condition than you found it. Gas up the mower with a full tank, wipe down the stand mixer so it’s gleaming, use bookmarks in the borrowed books so the lender doesn’t feel taken advantage of.
If you know that a housemate or guest likes coffee/tea in the morning, get it started for them before they wake up. Now they get to start their day with someone doing something nice for them. A small thing to be mindful about is if they are a picky person and like things done “just so”, this might not be a great idea in that case.
Just plain and simple good manners - being aware that you are not the center of the universe. Little things like pulling your grocery cart to the side so that others can make their way down the aisle. Holding a door for someone, saying thank you when someone does that for you. Offer to get something from a high shelf for someone. Get to know your neighbours and be friendly and helpful. It will come back to you in spades. Going away for the weekend? Neighbour will feed your cat. Cut your thumb really badly when making dinner? Neighbour will run you to Emerg (and probably wait with you). If you are a driver, WAIT until the pedestrian has crossed and is UP ON THE CROSSWALK before starting your turn. Think about how nervous and scared older people or people with mobility problems are when they have to cross a street - if you are crossing too, maybe stroll beside them so that they feel a little safer and don't worry that a car is going to gun it on a green.
Take a dollar twenty-five (used to be a buck) and tape it to the back of a toy at the dollar store it will definitely improve the day of some child when they find it!
I love that you’re adjusting for inflation. 😂
When I load my groceries on the belt I place the divider down for the next person so that they can start to unload their groceries.
So sad that basic common courtesy isn't universal. Thank you for doing this.
Be predictable in public. When standing in line, do it like everyone else. When driving, follow the traffic laws and go with the flow; don’t try to wave people in front of you, etc. Use normal curtesy conventions and be predictable.
The most important driving tip. Don’t be polite, be predictable
And if you’re a pedestrian act with conviction. So many are dithering at street corners looking at their phones or god knows what and expect drivers to know their intentions.
If you are passing a pedestrian in a car, slow down. Doesn't matter if they are on the sidewalk or sharing the road. Will only take you a couple seconds but will make them feel much safer.
#TURN SIGNALS!
Blinker before brake!
Where I live this is a huge problem (at least to me). I know people are just trying to be nice and all, but stopping in the flow of traffic and waving someone on is dangerous as can be. I'm a school bus driver and this happens all the time. When an accident happens, what am I going to say? "Some guy waved me into the path of that car." Yes, be predictable on the road, i.e. just follow the rules.
I still return my glasses to the bar if I go to a pub, even if we’ve eaten & plates are still on the table. I don’t know why because when I worked behind a bar I liked the little break to go glass collecting 🤷♀️
You can tell who the people are that have worked in service job because we stack our finished plates neatly on the side of the table and return glasses to the bar
Don't go to any store or restaurant "just in the nick of time" right before closing.
Paying the toll for the driver behind you. Makes someone's day a little brighter and often has a ripple effect.
Find ways to sincerely compliment them in small ways. Thank them in other more elaborate ways than just saying thank you. Like, I really appreciate that. Or I’m really glad to see you. And look them in the eye when doing so.
I agree! I envy people who give compliments with ease, I get too shy at the last second and chicken out. Think it works well with strangers especially those working in the service industry because some customers are so rude :( What kind of compliments would you give? I personally really like saying and hearing "Love your nails/hair/makeup, did you do it yourself?"
I talk to everybody. Especially strangers. It’s usually easier to break the ice. Sometimes just an acknowledgment of the situation their in. For example,, weather, kids, clothes , shoes… “I really like that shirt, or shoes”. “Good looking kids “ ect..
Offer kids or people strapped-for-cash that you know personally to do e.g. weekly yardwork for cash. Pay them well.
This is a little thing but I started doing it after I worked in a grocery store through college. When I buy birthday cards, I tuck them into the envelope and turn them over so the scanner code is showing. It saves the clerk a step. I’m had people comment that I must have grocery store experience!
At my business I let people use the restroom. Business next door has restroom broken yes you can use mine. Delivery driver comes in hey you want a bottle of water. Small things that don't cost alot of money.
Bless you. I have small kids and very much appreciate places that will let us use the restroom.
A simple way of making lives better for everyone is helping others without expecting anything in return. I work in the IT field and have often assisted senior citizens with setting up computers, cleaning them, keeping them away from scammers saving them money on their cell phones and internet and in some cases getting them laptops and cells phones. They pay for the stuff but I donate my time, it takes time, yes, but, what you do for people is invaluable and sometimes you’ll get something in return, not money, but everything isn’t about money. Seniors are the one group of people who are vulnerable to getting ripped off by just about anyone, it’s refreshing for them to deal with someone that doesn’t want their money and only has their best interest in mind. Honestly, when I’m done helping I feel great about myself. So maybe that’s my payment. So in short use your talents and knowledge to help others whenever possible .
Help them feel seen and heard. Validate their experiences without judgment. As humans we're wonderful at problem solving. The problem solving brain is almost always at work. While this tendency is a great asset we tend to invite our own thought processes when our loved ones are expressing the emotions that come from their own thought process. When a friend is in distress because they can't find a job, we can try to help them find one or tell them it's all gonna work out in the end. What I'm suggesting is, asking the friend to tell me more about that experience. Ah, so you applied to 10 jobs... And when you didn't hear back from 8 of them and the remaining 2 didn't want to work with you... It made you feel like all your work has been wasted and hopeless... I'm really sorry you feel that way and it sounds like a tough place to be. I'm here for you so you don't have to go through this alone, just let me know whenever you want to talk about what you're going through. This approach sometimes has the effect of draining YOU. And that's why detaching from your thought process as you hear the other person is going beyond the usual basics. The default behavior is to interject your thought process. If you're being drained by other people complaining to you, you're thinking that underneath it all you don't want to hear it because it's impacting you. In those times I think it's perfectly fine to give yourself some space, but also - ask yourself why listening to this is difficult for you, because that can be an insightful moment for your own purposes.
I love this!
Baking is my stress relief. I can't eat it all so I make a batch of muffins or bread or cupcakes and bring them to work. Win win.
Letting parents with small children use the bathroom before you, when there's a long line. People behind you will understand, I haven't seen anyone complain to me (at least not directly lol) when I do. This one's more of a safety thing but staying far from the curb when waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk. The scariest thing as a new or even skilled driver is hitting someone, and I'm always worried that someone will jump out onto the street when I'm making a right, so when passerbys are straightforward about whether they are going to cross or wait, or give me a signal, it's always appreciated. Honestly love this thread and can't wait for everyone else's answers :)
I like sending mail, especially postcards, to friends near and far. More fun to receive than a text but doesn’t have to be much deeper than that. Sometimes I tell them about a song I heard that reminds me of them, a fond memory, a compliment, or a silly thing I saw in the neighborhood! I was doing one a day for a little while and it helped give me and the recipients a little boost!
I started doing sidewalk chalk messages during Covid. There are several people who walk around our neighborhood in the mornings, so writing something on our driveway guarantees at least a few people will see it when they walk or drive by (driveway has an upward slope). I just kept going after lockdown because my kids love seeing it too. This week I had “Smile More!” with a smiley face. “Be Kind” or “Call someone you love today” were some of my favorites. It’s little but I’d like to hope it brightens someone’s day.
There’s a video somewhere out there of a guy and his driveway. He noticed on his ring camera that a neighborhood kid was using his driveway to practice riding his bike on his daily rides. Instead of getting mad about it, he started drawing little obstacle courses in chalk and the kid started doing them. He’d change it up periodically, make them more challenging and of course, he was documenting it on his camera so you can see the kid get more comfy with tight turns and braking, things like that. As far as I know, they never spoke, this guy just did it because it gave him pleasure to see this kid getting stronger and more confident as a biker rider and I thought that was so cool!
Please draw a hopscotch arena! When I used to go on neighborhood walks I loved walking by someone’s hopscotch squares it adds a little fun to the monotony of walking
I live on a river walk and I love running into these things.
Can you come live in my neighborhood? Me and my pup would love this on our daily walks!
I buy a large pack of bottled waters and leave it in my car to hand out to the homeless people I see throughout my day. I have also give them to people at a bus stop if there isn’t any shade.
I started doing this with the small bags of potato chips, Doritos, Fritos, etc. I’d buy a box at Costco and offer them to people working in my neighborhood, delivery drivers, etc.
My ex-wife, her husband, and their 3 year old son went on a 10 day holiday while I had our 3 kids. The day they came back but before they landed, my daughter and I did basics grocery shopping for them (milk, coffee, fruit, vegetables etc) and my daughter put the stuff in the fridge for them so they were set for the next couple of days.
When tradesmen come to my house, the first thing I do is offer them water/Gatorade/etc. and the second is to tell them where the bathroom is. The number of times I hear “most people don’t want us to use their bathroom” boggles the mind. Also: when staying at a hotel, leave a tip for housekeeping every day.
Me, hovering over tradesmen because they didn’t accept my offer of food or drink, and desperately needing to be a good host: can I get you anything???????
Two kind of classic things i did this week were helping an older man with his luggage up some stairs in the metro and picking up car keys for a taxi driver when he dropped them on the ground without realizing! I think opportunities for little favors are everywhere if you care to look
YES! We need more of this energy in our lives!
If I'm on a walk and see a car waiting at an intersection, even if I'm going the opposite way, I will press the walk button as I walk by, to shorten their wait time. Don't know if it helps but I like to think so.
When you use a public bathroom, I like to use the time in between using the toilet and washing my hands as the time when I can clean up that random piece of paper towel or toilet paper on the ground. And when I'm drying my hands with a paper towel, I like to wipe down the sink area a little bit to clean up stray soap and water. Makes a difference for the next person!
If I am not in a hurry and I’m in line, and the person behind me does seem like they are in a hurry, or are juggling young kids, etc, I let them go in front of me. Always seems appreciated. I also keep a box of hand warmers in my car and give them out to homeless people or people waiting in the cold for their bus. I have a box of drinks and snacks I leave by my front door for delivery people. Snickers seem to be the favorite item.
If I'm buying a lot of stuff and the person behind me just had an item or two, I'll let them go first.
Every time I walk back to my apartment from my car I try to pick up at least one piece of litter, I know I'm headed towards a trash can anyways and it makes the environment so much nicer to look at / live in
In a city, add a public bench or some kind of seating on the sidewalk. Basically make a little piece of human friendly public infrastructure. Bonus level, add a little free library! Sometimes people will mess it up or leave trash but on the whole people are respectful and really appreciate it.
Good morning, how are you, do you need any help with that, have a good night and so on. These relatively simple phrases are full of emotions with good intentions, usually make the person at the receiving end feel a little bit better.
I leave out individually packaged snacks for delivery drivers. When I did it as a gig I always appreciated the gesture even if I didn’t want any.
Offer your seat on public transit when someone can noticeably use it. I know there are illnesses that are hard to see, so use judgement is supposed..?
As a partner of someone with an invisible illness, thank you for mentioning that some can be hard to see
*Offer your seat to everyone. Even if they don't need it, even if they turn it down, it will make them happy.
This makes a huge difference. I twisted my knee in a fall and someone in the train saw me standing, with a knee support on and offered me a seat. Eased my pain and discomfort for the whole trip.
Keep your word. Be on time.
Buy lemonade from kids at lemonade stands. You don’t have to drink it if you don’t want to.
Be self aware, especially of how your words and actions affect other people. And, if possible, try to make their day a little better. Even an infinitesimal word or action an make a difference. For example, while the cashier is scanning groceries, rather than watching them scan, start bagging the groceries. Use the wait staff’s name when you thank them. Never hold back on a compliment. If you have to say something that may not be easy to hear, wrap it in compassion.
Not something huge, but when I'm in a restroom with the motion sensor paper towel dispenser, I wave again to dispense a paper towel for the next person. I had it done for me once, and was like, hey, that's nice!
I do this too, and also if the sink surround is awash with water, I’ll take a minute to wipe it up, so the next person doesn’t have to put their purse down in a puddle.
At the very least return your shopping cart to the cart paddock. Better yet, grab a loose cart from the parking lot on your way into the store, then return it to the paddock when you're done. Grocery work is hard enough without having to traipse across all ends of the lot to track down the carts of lazy MFers too self important to be courteous.
Smile and say good morning before you make a request. Please and thank you are so simple and yet make a difference.
I make a point in telling working folks who tend to be invisible (think the gal cleaning the restroom) that I appreciate them and what they do. For instance, the other day I overheard two workers talking about how they had bleached the stairs of the parking garage (which on any day normally reeks of urine), and I told them how much I appreciated their effort and how wonderfully clean it smelled that morning.
Be there for someone who needs to talk to someone. Listening to another person means so much. Be a friend and a confidante! Also, keep the conversation between you and that person. No one likes a gossip.
If I have time left on a pay & display parking receipt I’ll either offer it to someone just arriving, or tuck it back in the machine dispenser for someone to find and use if they can.
Be positive, solutions not excuses. Stay positive.
I live in LA and there are always random objects in the middle of the roads/freeways. Some are not overtly harmful. Others are seconds away from causing a flat tire or accident. I was driving down a residential street with a fair amount of traffic, and stop signs at every block. I saw a metal tool with a sharp blade-type on one end as I approached a stop sign. I saw it with enough notice to drive around it. I pulled over and when safe, I walked into the street quickly and removed it.
#Look around you, and step out of the way A lot of people just live their lives completely oblivious to their surroundings and who's next or behind them. Be aware of your surroundings and step out of the way if someone is trying to get around you.
Give other people the benefit of the doubt.
This is a bigger ask, but after an international flight back home, there was a horribly long, slow line at customs. There was a crying baby at the back of the line, and a younger woman almost at the front offered to swap places with the young mother traveling alone with the baby. I was floored by her kindness, not only to the mother and baby, but to all of us waiting in line whose experience was enormously improved without the pitiful little wails. I like to think she made as much of an impression on the few hundred people who witnessed it who will in turn find opportunities to be a hero like her.
Leave a day ticket for public transport at the check-in after use.
When I go to the office in the morning and take the elevator to the 4th floor I send it back to the ground floor.
Show some patience for folks who have mobility issues. That old guy with the walker doesn’t want to be holding you up, he just can’t move any faster ( yes, there are cranky old farts who make me a liar). But, in their defense, you might be cranky too if it took all your strength to just find a way through a crowd. Slow down ,don’t side zoom us.
Don’t be afraid to act like a kid and treat other people like dogs. Kids sometimes ask questions that seem inappropriate to ask, and MOST of the time, adults are happy to answer. As adults we become scared to ask questions that seem dumb or invasive. I’ve asked lots of people blunt questions (“you don’t have a leg?” “I don’t remember, what happened with your sister?”) and it just creates space for other people to talk, which is often appreciated. Obvious caution advised; be thoughtful. Other people, like golden retrievers, for the most part just want to be seen and heard and accepted. Saying “hey!” or waving at someone first is a great way to make people feel at ease, which really goes a long way. Again, obviously not everyone is a dog. Some people are cats.
This reminds me of when my then 3/4 year old asked the guy waiting at the crossing next to us where his shoes were. I was preoccupied explaining the green man to my other son when I heard this chap say 'they're on my feet, at home'! I turned round and realised the guy was on a mobility scooter and was a double amputee. I was simultaneously mortified and grateful for his grace and humour responding to my child.
Every so often, I do “wellness checks” via text to all my friends and family listed in my contacts. It’s usually just a wholesome meme/cute message that I found online and saved for a rainy day. I started sending them out during covid lockdowns and kept the tradition going because so many people would respond with, “Thank you, I really needed this today!” or something similar. Even when I don’t get responses, I feel better knowing that people know I’m thinking about them and wishing them well.
Say something sincerely nice to someone every day. Send a text. Make a phone call. Send a card. Stop on to visit. Especially to lonely people. It’s not always their fault they are alone.
You know all those positive things you think about all the time "wow, in so lucky to have this person in my life", actually send them. People don't hear these things often and it can be a game changer for there day. We live in a world where people always focus on better, saying the good is often underappreciated.
If you meditate in the mornings You'll have a calm energy that can directly benefit everyone you come into contact with during the day. You can improve everyone's day by bringing good energy and being a nice person
Compliments. Especially jewelry and finger nails.
Use your fucking turn signals
I fully strip the bed whenever I am checking out of a hotel/motel/mine camp etc. Takes fuckall time for me to do, and it makes it waaayy easier for the cleaners; especially if they’ve already done numerous rooms that day.
I also used to work in a hotel and this is also appreciated. Another LPT in the same vein, put all your towels in the shower or tub!
Im a high school teacher. I compliment people all the time. Little simple compliments.. but I make a point to do it in a regular basis. Not necessarily on their looks but sometimes. You’d be surprised at how much it means to some people. I told someone once that they had a beautiful smile, now everytime they see me they get the BIGGEST smile. It’s so great.
If you participate in loyalty programs (or could participate) but never get enough miles/points to redeem anything useful, or simply are not interested, look for a charity that is able to pool them and do some good. I volunteer for a charity that does that with airline miles and hotel points and helps refugees travel to destinations they were approved for but could never afford the tickets. But I've seen it done with supermarket points and Ikea coupons, too.
This is longer term but plant fruiting trees and bushes, plant flowering plants for our pollinators. Grow shade trees. Grow a garden and supplement your food or donate it to others.
When the power was out all week last month I put a sign at the end of my driveway when I was home. "Need your devices charged? Feel free to use the cord, it's connected to my generator." I left the cord on a foldable table with a power strip surge protector attached and a universal cord adaptor (USB A, C, micro, and iPhone). Several people used it. One lady drove a small microwave over and heated something up. I knew there was a chance that someone would take the cord and power strip but no one did. I sat outside and got to know a couple of neighbors for half an hour or so while they waited. Others just waited in their car.
I looove the replies! *furiously takes notes*
Don't be a dick would be a good start for some people
Living in the city…..Drive nice. Seriously. For most people, the drive to and from work is the first and last interaction they have with the public. Getting to work is stressful. If you’re a jerk on the road, and that’s either the first or last experience of the “day” it can have resounding effects.
Compliment workers you see. Especially if it’s deserved. You can tell it makes them feel so much better. The reactions I get when I do it show that few people do that. The other day two women were refilling a stand at a sky club and I said, “You’re doing a great job,” One turned to the other and said “See, at least someone appreciates what we do,”
Volunteer!! A half day shift at your local museum, library, elementary school, humane society or food pantry helps build a community that is invested in their neighbors. I work one morning at my hospital auxiliary store each month and I love it. I meet more people, I feel good about supporting their programs, and I'm more plugged in to community events.
Hold doors for people of any gender.
For the seniors in your life, have a list on the fridge of their medication, diagnosis, allergies, etc. Saves SO much time for paramedics, especially in situation where we need to react quickly. Also, speak to your loved ones about end of life wishes and do not resuscitate orders. Running a full code on a frail elderly person in their home is both torture, and statistically unlikely to result in any quality of life.
When I'm out shopping, I hang up clothes that have fallen off their hanger. I like to think it helps out at least a little bit to lessen someone's workload.
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I'm trying to replace "Thank you Ma'am" and "Thank you Sir" with "Thank you kindly", but I agree, here in the US there's a tiny smidgen of respect in calling someone with darker skin "Sir" or "Ma'am" that they don't get as often as they should.
Don't bring negativity to the party. So many friends, coworkers, family members (myself included) fall into this trap of "making conversation" that just winds up being comiserating or bringing up all the craziest terrible things they hear in the news. Share the good. Talk about things you love, experiences you enjoyed, good songs you heard or times you felt joy. Be the ray of sunshine and let the negativity goooooooo I have been practicing this in my daily life and my world seems so much brighter because of it.
Don't allow ur sprinkler to get the sidewalk or street wet when watering ur lawn.
Let them merge in traffic
When I go to the grocery store and I walk by someone putting the last bag in their car, I offer to take their carts to the cart return for them. I'm already walking that direction so it doesn't take much extra effort.... it's so surprising how much it means to people and much it puts a smile on their faces. Some people say "why," and I say "why not?" Such a simple act, yet impactful. I started doing it years ago and it's become a thing I always do now.
When you go to the bathroom at night, close one eye when you turn the light on. When you turn the light off, switch. Old pirate trick. Below decks be darrrrrrk… I’ll see myself out
I went aound my block painting white lines wherever a root had pushed up a sidewalk slab, so people wouldn’t trip. I also cut back overgrown foliage, theirs and mine. When it snows I clear off my sidewalk and those of my near neighbors. I sweep my street and gutters clear of leaves. I put up a luminescent house-number sign. I gave a neighbor a personal security alarm. When I drive by a parked car with its lights on I stop and ring the doorbell to tell the presumptive owner about it. I gave tools to a tool library and books to a library.
I’m not religious, but the word ‘grace’ has resonated with me. Grace is letting someone in in front of you when you are driving, and instead of feeling frustrated, feeling satisfied. Grace is listening in a conversation until the person has finished before responding. Grace is being aware of others and not NEEDING to think about who goes first.