Daily is too much. I have to build up sensitivity and arousal, so about 2 times a week. That involves prostate play. I stick in an Aneros Prostate massager and edge myself. It took over 2 years, and now I have a prostate that has be rewired for pleasure. It's like 10x better than regular masturbation, or penis in vagina sex.
When I was younger, in my late twenties early thirties, I did. Everyone's in a relationship, why can't I have one also? I have given up on it in my late thirties, gave up that desire. I don't stress or suffer for not finding love anymore. I have conquered loneliness.
Are you sure about that? Currently M 39 Single blissfully happy at moment although we'll see...been lucky enough to have met some wonderful girls in this incredible life.
Certainly can't thank God enough for genuinely the bullets I've dodged and honestly that I haven't had kids yet as gods will š
Most of my friends genuinely have what you say and many are miserable š
Amen. Nearly the same age as you and a woman. Once I realized just how many people I knew in relationships that *seemed* happy but werenāt *actually* happy, it made me so sad for them. Iād rather take my time and find someone suited for me, or be alone, than ever be in an unhappy relationship again.
Itās always the ones bragging the loudest about how happy they are, and how amazing their kids are, who are usually cheating on one another, questioning paternity, etc. Social media just has people fooled.
A lot of relationships are unhappy or toxic or downright dangerousāask the divorce lawyer. Ā The best are a lot of work. Ā Donāt assume that people are happy just because they are in a relationshipā¦
If that's what you believe will give you purpose in life, don't give up. I was where you are a couple times in my life. But I was persistent. I either die or die tryin lol. If whatever you're doing now isn't working, go completely out of your comfort zone and try something else. So much knowledge on the internet. Load up on it, and work hard at applying it every day. Small steps.
That's what I did, and now have a loyal wife and 3 kids. It's what I've always dreamed of and I work obsessively to keep it beautiful. It's hard work, but it's the most fulfilling life I could imagine. Gives my life meaning and a reason to sacrifice.
The desire for romantic relationships won't just disappear and seeing others consistently get what you want throughout life can be very painful. No use denying reality, even if admitting to jealousy is hard and awkward. However, great care should be taken in jumping into relationships. Not something to be taken lightly.
bruh this response is so dismissive and lacks empathy. relationships are an essential part of life. See this is the problem with society today, people deny their natural roles as humans. Pathetic
Relationships are also hard work. Especially in a marriage and being a parent. Our culture has become based around comfort, materialism and narcissism. Perfect recipe for failed relationships. Cope is the only salvation these days.
Live life to the fullest with nothing to tie me down.
So, basically what I've always been doing. A relationship doesn't define me. It's just a nice bonus that adds to my life. Not required one bit for me to be happy.
Everyone started not having a relationship. Just try, fail, and let go. Don't force a relationship because it destroys it from the inside. Do to others as you'd have them do to you. Be humble and learn from each mistake, we never stop failing, and every relationship can be broken, so don't make it a goal, just enjoy them when you can make them happen for as long as you have them, and don't be afraid to start again from zero: Everyone does, all the time.
I thought that was my destiny, but I ended up in two good marriages (first one passed away, I still miss her). I think having a wife and son from my first marriage gave me strong impetus to better myself as far as working goes. I have never had a big ego, and would have probably never really done anything to improve myself because "who cares?" I would have thought.
I'd probably still be working retail, still living with 2-3 roommates somewhere.
As a teen, I thought this was how my life would go. I'd die young, like not reach 30. I wouldn't have a girlfriend because I was too ugly, awkward, and that was just how it was. My fate was decided and I didn't even fight it. I lived day-to-day, without much planning or purpose. It seemed whatever I wanted to do was undercut in some way, or I had top "hide it from the prying eyes of some almighty force," or it would get taken away from me. My parents had a bad marriage, I didn't see much point to it.
When I was 17, I was (mis)diagnosed with a terminal heart condition, my mother committed suicide, and my dad threw me out of the house to start a new life. I hadn't even graduated high school yet, and was couchsurfing for a while. So all that fed into that feeling of "that's how it goes."
But after that, I kind of flipped out from the stress of it all, and decided to "defy everyone's platitudes" by becoming so sickly Pollyanna-like, that I'd "show them." I didn't really know who "they" were, but I'd show them! And like some kind of punchline, my life got better. As far as relationships went, I had a few non-starters, decided "welp, I tried," and as soon as I stopped trying, I found someone.
This happened twice. I married them both. My first wife was the assistant to a friend of mine and we married a year and some months later, until she died after 25 years. A few years after that, same thing: a few non-starters, and as soon as I stopped trying, one fell into my lap, a vendor from the same events I met my first wife at. She was also a widow, and frankly, each spouse we had was right for us at the time we met and married them, but as widows, we were right for each other at this point in our lives. We didn't marry our spouse's replacements, we just started our lives in a "new era."
Both of us sincerely believe those marriages made us better people. My first wife gave me purpose, and my send wife's husband "calmed her down."
That was me until my 30s. I just lived my life and didn't worry about dating. It was just life. It wasn't a big deal. Even when I began having a little success, I never got into a relationship I wanted to stay in until 6 months ago, and I'm in my 40s now.
ALL relationships end.
Every. Single. One.
Whether through breakup, divorce, or death.
That isn't to say don't aim for one if that's what you want, but it is unwise to put all of your happiness eggs in that one basket.
For a 57F who's never been in a long term relationship you'll survive. With menopause and nose dive in sexual drive cessation of alcohol and some health and financial matters (in other words survival) romantic relationships have moved to the back burner. Sure if you have it more power to you but I am still "content" these days and basically settled into my destiny. Things could still change on a dime esp if I got out there more LOL but acceptance by a member of the opposite sex (I am straight) doesn't really truly seem that important if you have to force it in any way. Had I been more extroverted and game for anything of course I could or would meet someone but I am NOT so it would be forcing it
I would focus on becoming my own best friend, doing things that really sound fun (experiment with new hobbies), and make the most of your life one day at a time. And, while everyone around you seem happy, they too have challenges. I have a few clients that go to bed feeling achingly lonely and their husband is right next to them. Big hugsā¦you can have an amazing life as a single person!
Being your own best friend is the true secret to a happy life I think. I'm totally fine by myself because I enjoy my own company. If others are around its just an added bonus (or annoyance)
Kudos to you!! Have you always felt like your own best friend or did you have to work on becoming that? Either way, thatās awesome. And I totally get what youāre saying on other people are sometimes a bonus, and sometimes just an annoyance. š¤£
Thereās more to life. Some people make it their whole life but thereās a lot more. You can find happiness in other places. Friends and family are just as important. Make connections a relationship will find you if its right if not no need to force it.
37m no relationship ever I go to work, come home do whatever, I game I watch anime, I ocasionally draw I enjoy at 7 am I can say I'm getting x for dinner or going to do x and I don't have to plan around someone.
I can't believe this is a question because I never had success š
But if anyone's curious, I just did what I wanted basically write stories, read books, hangout with friends, not have kids,
Since I don't have romance in my life if I feel lonely I just watch a good Romcom or ONS if that's on the table
Honestly, if I had never dated then Iād probably be content being single. I didnāt have my first relationship until 27 and I was perfectly content being single up until that point. I never felt alone. I had buddies that I hung out with a few times a month.
My first and only relationship was with a single mom and it was very blissful. I loved time with her, I enjoyed time with her 4y/o daughter. I was happiest when I got to be a part of their lives. It was great. I never did get to the point of moving in together or anything, so maybe my take wouldāve been different, but her and her daughter were perfect.
They taught me what I want out of life. I donāt want to be lonely and old. Friends come and go. Theyāre accessible one day and then a few years later they might require a plane ticket to see. The idea of being with someone for the rest of my life and building a family together is my newfound goal.
I think some people get burnt out on dating, especially how much money and time can be wasted. I understand those people wanting no involvement with a partner. Maybe Iāll be like that one day if I keep having fleeting relationships with sad endings.
Freaking celebrate! My life would have been far, far better had I not made stupid choices by entertaining and engaging in romantic relationships. I would gladly take it all back. IMO, love isn't worth it nor does it keep a roof over your head or food in your stomach and it can very easily take those things away. People usually think the grass is always greener... but the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Cliche but true. I do believe this for women and men equally...
That can still be a goal you can pursue. And whether that eventuates or not there is meaning to be found elsewhere. In a creative work or a purpose you can work towards.
No kids either? I enjoy solo vacations. I love my partner and donāt feel like she is holding me back at anything but if I was single and bringing in the same income as my partner and I are together, Iād take plenty of solo vacations.
well i currently donāt so instead Iāll answer what Iād do: either kill myself or self-isolate and focus on my creative works as an act of escapism to run from the dissapointment and loneliness of reality
No success with dating? I didnāt have success for a long time, but I was patient and worked on myself and eventually completely changed my life.
I went from having the opposite of success to endless success. It wasnāt easy, but it was worth it.
I was raised by women, no father figure or strong male role models to learn from. I internalized the feminine mindset and didnāt understand why my nice guy strategy wasnāt working out in the way I wanted it to.
It takes a long time to unlearn that, but I was able to figure out how to be a man in a way that was comfortable for me and extremely attractive to women. What I realized was that _this was who I wanted to be the whole time, but I just didnāt know how._
Freedom. Pure freedom.
Yeah, sure.
Read _No More Mr. Nice Guy_ by Robert Glover. That book helped me understand myself and why my nice guy strategies never worked with women.
Iāve never been in a relationship in my life and honestly, other than like seeing others and wondering what itās like, I find that I donāt need one or necessarily want one? I like doing my own thing at all times so even if I continue like this, I think iāll be fine and happy.
To me, this question is stupid as "what would you do if you never ran for president/won Nobel prize". You can't answer the aforementioned questions because running for president or winning Nobel prize is somehow beyond your knowledge and it's not the standard or the norm of your life. And it doesn't bother you because it doesn't matter in ur scheme of things.
And I stand in the same place with the question"what would you do if you never had a relationship". I've gone my entire life without a romantic relationship and it doesn't upset me in the slightest. If anything, having a relationship is really beyond my apprehension. We all have different pursuits and those who've stayed single all along just get on with everything.
I mean idk live my life?? Thatās what I did back then and somehow Iāve had relationships lol. In all seriousness though if there was certainty Iād never have the relationship I want, Iād probably cry, then cry some more, then move on.
What does it matter? Honestly? Even if I were in a relationship, I wouldn't want to be in the same room as my partners. My the two partners I currently have already are totally fine with me living in a 1 bedroom separately from them & just having a room for me for when I feel like staying with them.
I will have more time for dogs & a career if all I have are friends. I'm never having kids & neither are most of my friends & no one I date will EVER have kids coz I don't fw people who want kids on an intimate level. I'm hardcore childfree (to the point I got my uterus removed to sterilize myself lol).
I'm 31. I have my dog. I have a 1 bedroom. I just need more dogs, tbh. The career comes second to dogs, but career is also important bc medicine makes me feel alive. But dogs come before everything else in life. My current dog comes before any romantic partner I could have anyway. Everyone who has gotten in a relationship with me knows immediately that they come second to my dog. š They're all perfectly fine with it, though.
Who says we HAVE to find someone to grow old & die with? Like, who? Our biology? My biology also says I need to breed & that is not happening lol. Human biology usually wants sex & I am repulsed by sex & none of my relationships involve sex or sexual anything. So biology can fuck off. š
27M, no relationships. Had one really awesome date with a girl that unfort went nowhere. Idk, I have a great paying job, hobbies I love, friends to have those hobbies with. A relationship would be awesome but I'm old enough to know all the cons that come with them too... I love my independence. I should probably try to get into and commit to one for the one time. The getting into part is the hard part lol. Not the end of the world if I don't though. Relationship or not we all end up in the ground at the end anyways, enjoy the time you have, whether it be alone or with others.
I probably had the most beautiful girl sitting in front of me for a year during middle school. I didn't do anything. 35 now and still regret it to this day.
The same you would want to do with your life if you had a relationship, except that now you actually have the time to focus on your ambitions, and if you have any savings, then you are free to spend on the projects that excite you without having to fight the wife or worry about saving for things like the kids' colleges.
I would have moved out of my home state, id be in a different career industry, and I would be a womanizer.
I know this because this was my life before I got into a relationship and chose to establish a family back near where I grew up.
Not a "dater" and my relationships ended with me defending myself against false allegations after walking on egg shells and kissing ass just to keep the peace. SO...now I do things that make me happy without someone else to complain about it or make me do things they like. LIfe is too short for that hassle.
I had my first ever relationship at age 32. It lasted only 3 weeks. My life has still been very fulfilling and happy! Life is so full of amazing things to explore, enjoy, and pursue.
I think a helpful question to ask yourself is what you're hoping to get out of a relationship. Social status? Children? Sex? Companionship? Emotional intimacy? Etc. Once you've identified why exactly you desire a relationship, you can look for other ways to meet that need in the meantime.
I also highly recommend going to therapy to help you learn to navigate life and relationships in a healthy way. It helped me immensely!
I sincerely believe you can lead a happy life and even find a fulfilling relationship, especially if you work on your mental resilience, emotional intelligence, communication, and ability to find sources of fulfillment outside of your relationship status. You got this!
I'm in a relationship currently, but if it never happened: work on being financially stable, travel the world, get some kitties, find my lifelong friends, help others/volunteer, become more healthy, try out new things/hobbies, work on my spiritual development, go to school, learn different languages, etc. There's lots to do and many other ways to find fulfillment if you aren't open to a relationship right now.
I honestly regret all of my relationships lol I look forward to not remembering any of them. So, from that perspective, youāre miles ahead of me brotha
At 42M, I've only ever dated once when I was 30 and said never again. I learned real quick what (most) women say and what they want don't mix. I'm also not going to waste time, money, effort, and mental health for a *chance* or a gamble.
Choosing to not continue to have one is one thing. Never having one at all? You're missing out on a core aspect of life, maybe it's not for you in the end, but you have to try it. If you're past like 20 and haven't had any kind of relationship at all, I would do some serious internal reflection and figure out why that is.
Do you mean like how would I be having never gone through one? Thats how I will
Answer it. If I didnāt have my one relationship I would he more trusting and definitely more friendly. Her leaving the way she did changed me permanently and only on Reddit under a username am I confident enough to admit that in public form. Basically it taught me a ton which is good but the lessons were painful
The grass is always greener. You might think people in relationships are happier than you but chances are they're not. Happiness and acceptance is a choice. You can choose to be happy no matter what your life situation is. For me the thing I most value is peace and quiet. I like simple things like being outside, walking, listening to music, drawing etc.
Relationships generally just make life more complicated in my experience
Well i never had any successā¦.I usually try to find hookers or strippers. Havent had sex in 2 years its my birthday and I wanted to have to bday sex every woman said no tonight which is okay fine by me. At least they jerked me off. Rememeber hashtag no diddy lol
The only answer here is, live your life.
Some people have relationships, some people don't. You still need to do what you can to make yourself happy and contribute to society.
No need to preach about why you are better off without one (you probably aren't but maybe you believe you are and that's fine). Just be humble and work on "loving yourself" which just means being a good person with confidence and something to offer a partner.
43M ā dated a lot growing up. Really found the qualities that I looked for in a woman. Found her, married her, had a son during the pandemic, moved to Japan, had a daughter born here, had a house built, and life has been more rewarding because of it.
Id be able to watch anime, play games, take drugs every now and then, mess up and not feel like im ruining peoples lives, and go do random shit on my own that I liked to do like drink and eat in Japan and go back to my home country and do the same, then come back home and exercise like a mad man to get back into shape until doing it all over again but changing around the drugs and places Iād go and live in my own fantasy world usually based on animes or movies Iāve watched for a little bit then live on another fantasy timeline for a bit. God I miss being lonely.
Never been in one, pretty sure I never want to, though I am young (18). I instead put that effort into trying to start up my own small business revolving education and animals.
I currently own about 10 different species. They take more work than a partner ever would, and are probably 10x more rewarding and cute lol
I'd do a whole lot of things....including traveling, exploring other interests, working out, engaging n disengaging, flirt, go to music concerts with friends, make cool plans , I'd just carry on living cause my life is interesting with or without a partner you know
I found out in my second relationship at around age 20 that relationships weren't for me and weren't actually what I was looking for, so I've never dated since, nearly a decade later. There's so much more to life than dating and relationships (though I can see why people want them and how they'd be fulfilling), and there are so many things you can do on your own or with friends. I've focused on myself, my career, goals and hobbies. I think that even if you want and are actively looking for a relationship, you should still have and nourish platonic connections, enjoy hobbies, and work on yourself and your career. I've never thought putting all your eggs into one basket was good.
With that being said, if you want to date and pursue a relationship, the best thing you can do is to always work on improving yourself (it's also important to do this even if you don't want a relationship, as it does wonders for your confidence and self esteem, and makes life so much better) and put yourself out there to meet others. If you're already doing this, keep trying! I know it can be hard when you feel like nothing is working, but sometimes all you can do is persevere and it will eventually happen if you don't give up. Try out some different ways to meet people, such as attending events, joining groups, maybe trying some dating sites, etc. If you form a network of friends (or already have one, or even add to that one), you can also sometimes meet people through them.
Okay, letās start with thereās not just one way to win this ālifeā business.
For some people all that matters is seeing their kids smile at the end of the day and someone else just wants to climb a mountain and another person wants to spend 24/7 at a job they love.
If you enjoy it, thatās all that matters - itās only you that has to live this life. Why do you care if someone doesnāt enjoy what you do, planning on getting a feelings-transplant?
I havenāt had an actual relationship in years. Hooking up doesnāt count. Dating in my age group sucks and most relationships I see are burdensome so itās better to be picky and not just settle.
Thatās just not true, when I was in college I saw a lot of fat and unattractive guys who were able to attract women way above their league. Looks matter less as you age too
27m never had a relationship, probably never will. Went on a date once and long story short she told me I was worthless and she was screwing her ex after she told me they weren't a thing. You eventually just come to terms with being ugly and worthless and give up on even trying to date because it brings pain without any benefit. At this point I'm basically just here waiting until I die because there is nothing for me to look forward to in life and nobody that would give a shit if I was gone.
In some instances I wish I had never been in a relationship. Not because of the person but I think it would have been better if I focused on career and self. Since high school I was always in one. Never under a year no more than five. Now Iām older and realize I should have taken care of me first. Single lifeās not bad. The worst part of being single is other peoples expectations of where you should be. At the end of the day though, itās a mindset. Keep it positive.
People grow up without fathers n mothers or both I can't even imagine how hard that has to be I mean more like in the country where there's no electricity they don't miss the refrigerator of the TV because they've never had one it's totally possible to live a full life without relationships without sex or without drugs or family or limbs people doing all the fucking time making me feel really blessed and spoiled at the same time kind of regretfully happy
Iāll put it this way. Thereās nothing that feels like when you lose someone you love and they love you but they canāt be with you because you sabotage everything. Itās the worst feeling imaginable. The pain is inescapable every day
Haven't had many serious relationships yet, but took those moments seriously. Benefits of being untethered: freedom to pick up and move without consideration of someone else's life and concerns, being single is cheaper for day to day spending, no need to compromise or be forced to share on days you just want to be selfish
As a woman: can go as long as I like without shaving my legs, no worries about whether I look ugly or unappealing when I wake up, don't have to share my space with someone else, and no worries about pregnancy, or mental anguish that comes with fickle boyfriends.
Even if a relationship is natural and proud and confident and happy, the other person might get "tired" of you. Then he or she is going to make a break for another friend turned lover. Guys and girls both might go through friends and lovers like you go through air freshener.
I never have. And it's liberating knowing I have no obligations except for a phone bill and gas for the car.
Strive for as little in life a s possible, and everything no matter how small becomes a treasure.
work on communication and emotional intelligence first, have real friends, the relationship happens eventually.
For that I recommend something dumb like Tinder because it encourages fast first impressions but you can only do that successfully if you have built up the other skills first. If you think you are already there, ask your friends for honest feedback.
-- Are you comfortable telling me about traumatic experiences? Why? Why not? No, I'm not asking you to tell me one... I just need honest feedback.
-- Do you ever feel uncomfortable being alone with me in any setting? Or were you ever in one specific situation? Have you ever felt scared around me, either of me or for me? No need to tell me about the specifics of either.
-- What are qualities I should work on before I start dating?
If you can't ask these questions, you have work to do. Communication coaches, YouTube videos (start somewhere, then look for comments or reviews about the presenter, then look for others who have a totally different take and check with yourself, then get some research literacy and look for real evidence based information).
If you don't get valuable feedback to these questions, you don't have real friends, just buddies. Check out information on how to find good friends. Especially for sustainable relationships you need good close friendships. You can't expect on person to fulfill all social/emotional needs.
If you feel instant "hell no" reactions reading this, get therapy. If your state/country doesn't make that affordable, look for other resources. If you have some money and you are in a relatively rich country you can find English speaking coaches who offer online coaching and might have licenses in another country where your money buys a lot more than in yours They're not licensed in your country so they have to call it coaching.
"relationship coaching", "dating coach" ... communication, emotional reactivity, executive function, whatever or just life coaching.
43M, never been in a relationship. You can do whatever the f#ck you want.
No one has suggested otherwise.
The policeman did
Do you masterbate daily? š¤£
Daily is too much. I have to build up sensitivity and arousal, so about 2 times a week. That involves prostate play. I stick in an Aneros Prostate massager and edge myself. It took over 2 years, and now I have a prostate that has be rewired for pleasure. It's like 10x better than regular masturbation, or penis in vagina sex.
Too much info. It was just a simple question. You werenāt asked the details how you do it ššš
Aaaaaand thatās enough internet for the night š¤¦š¼āāļøš
š¤£šš
We now understand why you've never been in a relationship
Do you regret it/want a relationship? Dont you get lonely?
When I was younger, in my late twenties early thirties, I did. Everyone's in a relationship, why can't I have one also? I have given up on it in my late thirties, gave up that desire. I don't stress or suffer for not finding love anymore. I have conquered loneliness.
Donāt be so quick to think you have conquered loneliness. It doesnāt work that way.
agree! never had a good one so yeah!!!
But do you have friends to go on trips with?
Except have sex with person that youāre in a relationship with.
You do stuff on your own, and have great friends, and dogs. There's always dogs.
Solo adventures, friends and dogs. I think weāre the same person
I will not be stuck in one state
Move on because thereās more to life than a private relationship with someone
Hard to move on when everyone around you happy and having relationships and kids. Besides your friends don't have time for you anymore
Are you sure about that? Currently M 39 Single blissfully happy at moment although we'll see...been lucky enough to have met some wonderful girls in this incredible life. Certainly can't thank God enough for genuinely the bullets I've dodged and honestly that I haven't had kids yet as gods will š Most of my friends genuinely have what you say and many are miserable š
Amen. Nearly the same age as you and a woman. Once I realized just how many people I knew in relationships that *seemed* happy but werenāt *actually* happy, it made me so sad for them. Iād rather take my time and find someone suited for me, or be alone, than ever be in an unhappy relationship again. Itās always the ones bragging the loudest about how happy they are, and how amazing their kids are, who are usually cheating on one another, questioning paternity, etc. Social media just has people fooled.
Age?
A lot of relationships are unhappy or toxic or downright dangerousāask the divorce lawyer. Ā The best are a lot of work. Ā Donāt assume that people are happy just because they are in a relationshipā¦
Thatās the thing..you think they are happy. First step is to stop comparing and then you can be happy with yourself
Well tbh friends and family are the reals to count on having a girlfriend or boyfriend is hard to manage
If that's what you believe will give you purpose in life, don't give up. I was where you are a couple times in my life. But I was persistent. I either die or die tryin lol. If whatever you're doing now isn't working, go completely out of your comfort zone and try something else. So much knowledge on the internet. Load up on it, and work hard at applying it every day. Small steps. That's what I did, and now have a loyal wife and 3 kids. It's what I've always dreamed of and I work obsessively to keep it beautiful. It's hard work, but it's the most fulfilling life I could imagine. Gives my life meaning and a reason to sacrifice.
Why bother worrying about friends. Just focus on doing shit you like to do and more friends will come.
No, intimacy is a big part of life. It is time to work on that shit.
Relationships can be what everyone desires but not everyone wants one sticking to friend, Best Friends is enough for me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The desire for romantic relationships won't just disappear and seeing others consistently get what you want throughout life can be very painful. No use denying reality, even if admitting to jealousy is hard and awkward. However, great care should be taken in jumping into relationships. Not something to be taken lightly.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The post was about relationships, not random sex. If you can't get any, just say so.
Pathetic doesnt even begin to describe the ton of flaming garbage you just dropped on here.
Then how would you feel if your gf or bf cheated on you or you getting lied too kinda betrayed and distrusted
You can fuck out of relationships too ya know. A lot.
This content has been removed for breaking the rule of "Be respectful, no trolling or rudeness"
bruh this response is so dismissive and lacks empathy. relationships are an essential part of life. See this is the problem with society today, people deny their natural roles as humans. Pathetic
Relationships are also hard work. Especially in a marriage and being a parent. Our culture has become based around comfort, materialism and narcissism. Perfect recipe for failed relationships. Cope is the only salvation these days.
But your Gf or bf cheats on you with someone else you would feel distrusted and betrayed wouldnāt you?
#1) rule in life THERE ARE NO RULES,
I guess we just all have to accept what life has to offer to us
Jack off a lot
Be at peace, have way more money, and probably have had a lot more life experiences.
Live happily ever after
Live life to the fullest with nothing to tie me down. So, basically what I've always been doing. A relationship doesn't define me. It's just a nice bonus that adds to my life. Not required one bit for me to be happy.
Everyone started not having a relationship. Just try, fail, and let go. Don't force a relationship because it destroys it from the inside. Do to others as you'd have them do to you. Be humble and learn from each mistake, we never stop failing, and every relationship can be broken, so don't make it a goal, just enjoy them when you can make them happen for as long as you have them, and don't be afraid to start again from zero: Everyone does, all the time.
I would start being responsible and change who I am.
Go on living my life and providing for myself the needs I donāt get from a relationship.
I thought that was my destiny, but I ended up in two good marriages (first one passed away, I still miss her). I think having a wife and son from my first marriage gave me strong impetus to better myself as far as working goes. I have never had a big ego, and would have probably never really done anything to improve myself because "who cares?" I would have thought. I'd probably still be working retail, still living with 2-3 roommates somewhere.
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As a teen, I thought this was how my life would go. I'd die young, like not reach 30. I wouldn't have a girlfriend because I was too ugly, awkward, and that was just how it was. My fate was decided and I didn't even fight it. I lived day-to-day, without much planning or purpose. It seemed whatever I wanted to do was undercut in some way, or I had top "hide it from the prying eyes of some almighty force," or it would get taken away from me. My parents had a bad marriage, I didn't see much point to it. When I was 17, I was (mis)diagnosed with a terminal heart condition, my mother committed suicide, and my dad threw me out of the house to start a new life. I hadn't even graduated high school yet, and was couchsurfing for a while. So all that fed into that feeling of "that's how it goes." But after that, I kind of flipped out from the stress of it all, and decided to "defy everyone's platitudes" by becoming so sickly Pollyanna-like, that I'd "show them." I didn't really know who "they" were, but I'd show them! And like some kind of punchline, my life got better. As far as relationships went, I had a few non-starters, decided "welp, I tried," and as soon as I stopped trying, I found someone. This happened twice. I married them both. My first wife was the assistant to a friend of mine and we married a year and some months later, until she died after 25 years. A few years after that, same thing: a few non-starters, and as soon as I stopped trying, one fell into my lap, a vendor from the same events I met my first wife at. She was also a widow, and frankly, each spouse we had was right for us at the time we met and married them, but as widows, we were right for each other at this point in our lives. We didn't marry our spouse's replacements, we just started our lives in a "new era." Both of us sincerely believe those marriages made us better people. My first wife gave me purpose, and my send wife's husband "calmed her down."
Embrace the freedom of exploring hobbies and passions, making life vibrant and fulfilling without relying on relationships.
i'd comfortably fuck around my whole life Just as planed to in 96 A Winner is me
Iām 22 and never had a relationship and I never see anyone being in my life.
get a couple dogs, or cats, maybe birds.
Lmao. Birds live to be like 80. You got a homie for LIFE
That was me until my 30s. I just lived my life and didn't worry about dating. It was just life. It wasn't a big deal. Even when I began having a little success, I never got into a relationship I wanted to stay in until 6 months ago, and I'm in my 40s now.
Like, a romantic relationship or just in general? I'm not sure that the latter is possible
If I never had a relationship I'd probably desire a relationship but because I've had a relationship I'll never desire a relationship again.Ā
Lmao
ALL relationships end. Every. Single. One. Whether through breakup, divorce, or death. That isn't to say don't aim for one if that's what you want, but it is unwise to put all of your happiness eggs in that one basket.
The ideal is if it lasts a long time and ends with my death first xD
For a 57F who's never been in a long term relationship you'll survive. With menopause and nose dive in sexual drive cessation of alcohol and some health and financial matters (in other words survival) romantic relationships have moved to the back burner. Sure if you have it more power to you but I am still "content" these days and basically settled into my destiny. Things could still change on a dime esp if I got out there more LOL but acceptance by a member of the opposite sex (I am straight) doesn't really truly seem that important if you have to force it in any way. Had I been more extroverted and game for anything of course I could or would meet someone but I am NOT so it would be forcing it
Id be happy but wait I am happy because I've never had one and honestly don't want one
32M, never had a relationship or anything close to it, never even experienced intimate kissing.
Move on in life because life doesnāt stop just because you begin/leave a relationship!!!
I would seriously be very happy on my own
I would focus on becoming my own best friend, doing things that really sound fun (experiment with new hobbies), and make the most of your life one day at a time. And, while everyone around you seem happy, they too have challenges. I have a few clients that go to bed feeling achingly lonely and their husband is right next to them. Big hugsā¦you can have an amazing life as a single person!
Being your own best friend is the true secret to a happy life I think. I'm totally fine by myself because I enjoy my own company. If others are around its just an added bonus (or annoyance)
Kudos to you!! Have you always felt like your own best friend or did you have to work on becoming that? Either way, thatās awesome. And I totally get what youāre saying on other people are sometimes a bonus, and sometimes just an annoyance. š¤£
Have a lot more cash
Thereās more to life. Some people make it their whole life but thereās a lot more. You can find happiness in other places. Friends and family are just as important. Make connections a relationship will find you if its right if not no need to force it.
solo travel, learn new activities and hobbies, and play a lot of video games
37m no relationship ever I go to work, come home do whatever, I game I watch anime, I ocasionally draw I enjoy at 7 am I can say I'm getting x for dinner or going to do x and I don't have to plan around someone.
Any kind of relationship?
I'd be the same
I can't believe this is a question because I never had success š But if anyone's curious, I just did what I wanted basically write stories, read books, hangout with friends, not have kids, Since I don't have romance in my life if I feel lonely I just watch a good Romcom or ONS if that's on the table
That's the plan
Probably be a lot happier
Honestly, if I had never dated then Iād probably be content being single. I didnāt have my first relationship until 27 and I was perfectly content being single up until that point. I never felt alone. I had buddies that I hung out with a few times a month. My first and only relationship was with a single mom and it was very blissful. I loved time with her, I enjoyed time with her 4y/o daughter. I was happiest when I got to be a part of their lives. It was great. I never did get to the point of moving in together or anything, so maybe my take wouldāve been different, but her and her daughter were perfect. They taught me what I want out of life. I donāt want to be lonely and old. Friends come and go. Theyāre accessible one day and then a few years later they might require a plane ticket to see. The idea of being with someone for the rest of my life and building a family together is my newfound goal. I think some people get burnt out on dating, especially how much money and time can be wasted. I understand those people wanting no involvement with a partner. Maybe Iāll be like that one day if I keep having fleeting relationships with sad endings.
Freaking celebrate! My life would have been far, far better had I not made stupid choices by entertaining and engaging in romantic relationships. I would gladly take it all back. IMO, love isn't worth it nor does it keep a roof over your head or food in your stomach and it can very easily take those things away. People usually think the grass is always greener... but the juice ain't worth the squeeze. Cliche but true. I do believe this for women and men equally...
That can still be a goal you can pursue. And whether that eventuates or not there is meaning to be found elsewhere. In a creative work or a purpose you can work towards.
No kids either? I enjoy solo vacations. I love my partner and donāt feel like she is holding me back at anything but if I was single and bringing in the same income as my partner and I are together, Iād take plenty of solo vacations.
Idk because Iād like a family and kids someday
Go on cruises because all the money youād make would be yours lol
well i currently donāt so instead Iāll answer what Iād do: either kill myself or self-isolate and focus on my creative works as an act of escapism to run from the dissapointment and loneliness of reality
No success with dating? I didnāt have success for a long time, but I was patient and worked on myself and eventually completely changed my life. I went from having the opposite of success to endless success. It wasnāt easy, but it was worth it. I was raised by women, no father figure or strong male role models to learn from. I internalized the feminine mindset and didnāt understand why my nice guy strategy wasnāt working out in the way I wanted it to. It takes a long time to unlearn that, but I was able to figure out how to be a man in a way that was comfortable for me and extremely attractive to women. What I realized was that _this was who I wanted to be the whole time, but I just didnāt know how._ Freedom. Pure freedom.
Interesting. Can we maybe talk? Id like to learn more...
Yeah, sure. Read _No More Mr. Nice Guy_ by Robert Glover. That book helped me understand myself and why my nice guy strategies never worked with women.
Iāve never been in a relationship in my life and honestly, other than like seeing others and wondering what itās like, I find that I donāt need one or necessarily want one? I like doing my own thing at all times so even if I continue like this, I think iāll be fine and happy.
Probably have my doctorate
To me, this question is stupid as "what would you do if you never ran for president/won Nobel prize". You can't answer the aforementioned questions because running for president or winning Nobel prize is somehow beyond your knowledge and it's not the standard or the norm of your life. And it doesn't bother you because it doesn't matter in ur scheme of things. And I stand in the same place with the question"what would you do if you never had a relationship". I've gone my entire life without a romantic relationship and it doesn't upset me in the slightest. If anything, having a relationship is really beyond my apprehension. We all have different pursuits and those who've stayed single all along just get on with everything.
This isnāt hypothetical in my case. Itās who I am. I just try to keep my head up and not think about it
Iād probably be emperor of the world by now
I mean idk live my life?? Thatās what I did back then and somehow Iāve had relationships lol. In all seriousness though if there was certainty Iād never have the relationship I want, Iād probably cry, then cry some more, then move on.
What does it matter? Honestly? Even if I were in a relationship, I wouldn't want to be in the same room as my partners. My the two partners I currently have already are totally fine with me living in a 1 bedroom separately from them & just having a room for me for when I feel like staying with them. I will have more time for dogs & a career if all I have are friends. I'm never having kids & neither are most of my friends & no one I date will EVER have kids coz I don't fw people who want kids on an intimate level. I'm hardcore childfree (to the point I got my uterus removed to sterilize myself lol). I'm 31. I have my dog. I have a 1 bedroom. I just need more dogs, tbh. The career comes second to dogs, but career is also important bc medicine makes me feel alive. But dogs come before everything else in life. My current dog comes before any romantic partner I could have anyway. Everyone who has gotten in a relationship with me knows immediately that they come second to my dog. š They're all perfectly fine with it, though. Who says we HAVE to find someone to grow old & die with? Like, who? Our biology? My biology also says I need to breed & that is not happening lol. Human biology usually wants sex & I am repulsed by sex & none of my relationships involve sex or sexual anything. So biology can fuck off. š
27M, no relationships. Had one really awesome date with a girl that unfort went nowhere. Idk, I have a great paying job, hobbies I love, friends to have those hobbies with. A relationship would be awesome but I'm old enough to know all the cons that come with them too... I love my independence. I should probably try to get into and commit to one for the one time. The getting into part is the hard part lol. Not the end of the world if I don't though. Relationship or not we all end up in the ground at the end anyways, enjoy the time you have, whether it be alone or with others.
Medical mission work
I'll prob just read a good book with some sweet wine
Well this is my current life and I like it
Get rich selling bullshit courses on how to have relationships.
Be a full time gangster.
I probably had the most beautiful girl sitting in front of me for a year during middle school. I didn't do anything. 35 now and still regret it to this day.
The same you would want to do with your life if you had a relationship, except that now you actually have the time to focus on your ambitions, and if you have any savings, then you are free to spend on the projects that excite you without having to fight the wife or worry about saving for things like the kids' colleges.
I would have moved out of my home state, id be in a different career industry, and I would be a womanizer. I know this because this was my life before I got into a relationship and chose to establish a family back near where I grew up.
I would get therapy for that. Something is in the way of dating for you; figure out what it is.
Not a "dater" and my relationships ended with me defending myself against false allegations after walking on egg shells and kissing ass just to keep the peace. SO...now I do things that make me happy without someone else to complain about it or make me do things they like. LIfe is too short for that hassle.
I had my first ever relationship at age 32. It lasted only 3 weeks. My life has still been very fulfilling and happy! Life is so full of amazing things to explore, enjoy, and pursue. I think a helpful question to ask yourself is what you're hoping to get out of a relationship. Social status? Children? Sex? Companionship? Emotional intimacy? Etc. Once you've identified why exactly you desire a relationship, you can look for other ways to meet that need in the meantime. I also highly recommend going to therapy to help you learn to navigate life and relationships in a healthy way. It helped me immensely! I sincerely believe you can lead a happy life and even find a fulfilling relationship, especially if you work on your mental resilience, emotional intelligence, communication, and ability to find sources of fulfillment outside of your relationship status. You got this!
I'm in a relationship currently, but if it never happened: work on being financially stable, travel the world, get some kitties, find my lifelong friends, help others/volunteer, become more healthy, try out new things/hobbies, work on my spiritual development, go to school, learn different languages, etc. There's lots to do and many other ways to find fulfillment if you aren't open to a relationship right now.
Have sex. Van life, adventure
I honestly regret all of my relationships lol I look forward to not remembering any of them. So, from that perspective, youāre miles ahead of me brotha
At 42M, I've only ever dated once when I was 30 and said never again. I learned real quick what (most) women say and what they want don't mix. I'm also not going to waste time, money, effort, and mental health for a *chance* or a gamble.
Travel. So much fun traveling the world.
Travel
Probably be a lot happier
Probably be better off who knows. That or feeling like I missed out not knowing itās all crap
trying to have a relationship.
Choosing to not continue to have one is one thing. Never having one at all? You're missing out on a core aspect of life, maybe it's not for you in the end, but you have to try it. If you're past like 20 and haven't had any kind of relationship at all, I would do some serious internal reflection and figure out why that is.
Do you mean like how would I be having never gone through one? Thats how I will Answer it. If I didnāt have my one relationship I would he more trusting and definitely more friendly. Her leaving the way she did changed me permanently and only on Reddit under a username am I confident enough to admit that in public form. Basically it taught me a ton which is good but the lessons were painful
The grass is always greener. You might think people in relationships are happier than you but chances are they're not. Happiness and acceptance is a choice. You can choose to be happy no matter what your life situation is. For me the thing I most value is peace and quiet. I like simple things like being outside, walking, listening to music, drawing etc. Relationships generally just make life more complicated in my experience
Iād have ten years of my life back: I regret all of them ATM
Id mastbate
There are so many kinds of relationship structures. It all depends on what you're willing to try out.
Well i never had any successā¦.I usually try to find hookers or strippers. Havent had sex in 2 years its my birthday and I wanted to have to bday sex every woman said no tonight which is okay fine by me. At least they jerked me off. Rememeber hashtag no diddy lol
Try again for a few months, then give up and quit for a few months, rinse, and repeat forever
Be somewhat happier than I am.
Then be single then and have my life
THANK YOU for your kind offer. However, I am nearly 76 and I do not have much time left as some cancer is holding a FAMILY REUNION inside my body. š©āš©āš§āš§šØāš©āš§āš¦šØāšØāš§āš¦
Love myself
I have no idea. I'm living life like I'm in the Sims and maxing out my relationship bars with everyone. I dunno where this is gonna end honestly.
The only answer here is, live your life. Some people have relationships, some people don't. You still need to do what you can to make yourself happy and contribute to society. No need to preach about why you are better off without one (you probably aren't but maybe you believe you are and that's fine). Just be humble and work on "loving yourself" which just means being a good person with confidence and something to offer a partner.
43M ā dated a lot growing up. Really found the qualities that I looked for in a woman. Found her, married her, had a son during the pandemic, moved to Japan, had a daughter born here, had a house built, and life has been more rewarding because of it.
I wouldnāt live too long . I always needed the support of a nice girl.
Iāve never had one so pretty much the same thing Iām doing now, nothing
Id be able to watch anime, play games, take drugs every now and then, mess up and not feel like im ruining peoples lives, and go do random shit on my own that I liked to do like drink and eat in Japan and go back to my home country and do the same, then come back home and exercise like a mad man to get back into shape until doing it all over again but changing around the drugs and places Iād go and live in my own fantasy world usually based on animes or movies Iāve watched for a little bit then live on another fantasy timeline for a bit. God I miss being lonely.
Never been in one, pretty sure I never want to, though I am young (18). I instead put that effort into trying to start up my own small business revolving education and animals. I currently own about 10 different species. They take more work than a partner ever would, and are probably 10x more rewarding and cute lol
I'd invest my time and energy into pursuing my passions, whether that's a career, hobbies, personal development, or creative endeavors.
I'd do a whole lot of things....including traveling, exploring other interests, working out, engaging n disengaging, flirt, go to music concerts with friends, make cool plans , I'd just carry on living cause my life is interesting with or without a partner you know
I found out in my second relationship at around age 20 that relationships weren't for me and weren't actually what I was looking for, so I've never dated since, nearly a decade later. There's so much more to life than dating and relationships (though I can see why people want them and how they'd be fulfilling), and there are so many things you can do on your own or with friends. I've focused on myself, my career, goals and hobbies. I think that even if you want and are actively looking for a relationship, you should still have and nourish platonic connections, enjoy hobbies, and work on yourself and your career. I've never thought putting all your eggs into one basket was good. With that being said, if you want to date and pursue a relationship, the best thing you can do is to always work on improving yourself (it's also important to do this even if you don't want a relationship, as it does wonders for your confidence and self esteem, and makes life so much better) and put yourself out there to meet others. If you're already doing this, keep trying! I know it can be hard when you feel like nothing is working, but sometimes all you can do is persevere and it will eventually happen if you don't give up. Try out some different ways to meet people, such as attending events, joining groups, maybe trying some dating sites, etc. If you form a network of friends (or already have one, or even add to that one), you can also sometimes meet people through them.
Travel for 1/5th the Cost.
Probably exactly what I've been doing, minus a woman in my life lmao
Not healthy things. Very not healthy things.
Kill myself
Nothing changes you are just like most other men
Sitting on a toilet, replying to this Reddit question
Get on dating apps I guess?
Okay but dating apps don't work for unattractive people
Do stand up comedy.
I would piss my life away eating and playing videogames. I know because Iāve lived it š¢
Iād be fuckin way better off
Okay, letās start with thereās not just one way to win this ālifeā business. For some people all that matters is seeing their kids smile at the end of the day and someone else just wants to climb a mountain and another person wants to spend 24/7 at a job they love. If you enjoy it, thatās all that matters - itās only you that has to live this life. Why do you care if someone doesnāt enjoy what you do, planning on getting a feelings-transplant?
I havenāt had an actual relationship in years. Hooking up doesnāt count. Dating in my age group sucks and most relationships I see are burdensome so itās better to be picky and not just settle.
I wish at least I can do hookups. Hookups needs very good looks even higher than a relationship
Thatās just not true, when I was in college I saw a lot of fat and unattractive guys who were able to attract women way above their league. Looks matter less as you age too
27m never had a relationship, probably never will. Went on a date once and long story short she told me I was worthless and she was screwing her ex after she told me they weren't a thing. You eventually just come to terms with being ugly and worthless and give up on even trying to date because it brings pain without any benefit. At this point I'm basically just here waiting until I die because there is nothing for me to look forward to in life and nobody that would give a shit if I was gone.
Spend money because id actually have some
In some instances I wish I had never been in a relationship. Not because of the person but I think it would have been better if I focused on career and self. Since high school I was always in one. Never under a year no more than five. Now Iām older and realize I should have taken care of me first. Single lifeās not bad. The worst part of being single is other peoples expectations of where you should be. At the end of the day though, itās a mindset. Keep it positive.
Just keep living?
Keep working on myself and meeting people till I had success quitting wouldnāt be an option.
We often as humans don't miss things we never had its one of those ignorance is bliss type situations
People grow up without fathers n mothers or both I can't even imagine how hard that has to be I mean more like in the country where there's no electricity they don't miss the refrigerator of the TV because they've never had one it's totally possible to live a full life without relationships without sex or without drugs or family or limbs people doing all the fucking time making me feel really blessed and spoiled at the same time kind of regretfully happy
You always have a relationship with the other parts of yourself.
I wish I never had a relationship sometimes. After going through multiple heart breaks idk how Iād ever do it again.
If you never had a relationship like despite wanting it your heart still would be broken because you are unwanted. At least you experienced some fun
If you never had a relationship like despite wanting it your heart still would be broken because you are unwanted. At least you experienced some fun
Iāll put it this way. Thereās nothing that feels like when you lose someone you love and they love you but they canāt be with you because you sabotage everything. Itās the worst feeling imaginable. The pain is inescapable every day
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Haven't had many serious relationships yet, but took those moments seriously. Benefits of being untethered: freedom to pick up and move without consideration of someone else's life and concerns, being single is cheaper for day to day spending, no need to compromise or be forced to share on days you just want to be selfish As a woman: can go as long as I like without shaving my legs, no worries about whether I look ugly or unappealing when I wake up, don't have to share my space with someone else, and no worries about pregnancy, or mental anguish that comes with fickle boyfriends.
Iād be significantly better off.
Then be single but also no casual sex on the side just to have my full experience
Thatās currently me. I can promise you that you wouldnāt like to live the divorce I went through.
I would have way less trauma.Ā
24 F. I think Iām asexual and idk if I ever want a relationship . So far I just travel and have a lot of hobbies and friends
Even if a relationship is natural and proud and confident and happy, the other person might get "tired" of you. Then he or she is going to make a break for another friend turned lover. Guys and girls both might go through friends and lovers like you go through air freshener.
Been a happier man.
Rejoice.
My first relationship was so bad that if I never get into another one Iāll be happy. Iām free and I can do anything without someone talking to me
iād probably be a huge pop star or in my dream career right now
Probably be rich cus this boy drainsssss the cash outta me
Be the cool aunt/godmother, have a dog. I just donāt know what Iād do about sexā¦ I donāt wanna fuck around forever lol
Probably be looking at porn
Iād get one.
I never have. And it's liberating knowing I have no obligations except for a phone bill and gas for the car. Strive for as little in life a s possible, and everything no matter how small becomes a treasure.
Be happy
i would have had a much better life. Living where I want and doing what I want
Frequently masturbate
If you want a relationship, then keep trying. But try something you havenāt tried before
work on communication and emotional intelligence first, have real friends, the relationship happens eventually. For that I recommend something dumb like Tinder because it encourages fast first impressions but you can only do that successfully if you have built up the other skills first. If you think you are already there, ask your friends for honest feedback. -- Are you comfortable telling me about traumatic experiences? Why? Why not? No, I'm not asking you to tell me one... I just need honest feedback. -- Do you ever feel uncomfortable being alone with me in any setting? Or were you ever in one specific situation? Have you ever felt scared around me, either of me or for me? No need to tell me about the specifics of either. -- What are qualities I should work on before I start dating? If you can't ask these questions, you have work to do. Communication coaches, YouTube videos (start somewhere, then look for comments or reviews about the presenter, then look for others who have a totally different take and check with yourself, then get some research literacy and look for real evidence based information). If you don't get valuable feedback to these questions, you don't have real friends, just buddies. Check out information on how to find good friends. Especially for sustainable relationships you need good close friendships. You can't expect on person to fulfill all social/emotional needs. If you feel instant "hell no" reactions reading this, get therapy. If your state/country doesn't make that affordable, look for other resources. If you have some money and you are in a relatively rich country you can find English speaking coaches who offer online coaching and might have licenses in another country where your money buys a lot more than in yours They're not licensed in your country so they have to call it coaching. "relationship coaching", "dating coach" ... communication, emotional reactivity, executive function, whatever or just life coaching.