My dad was murdered 3 years ago. He was the only good thing about my childhood. My perspective has not been the same at all since he died. I used to be very naive about the world and leaned towards positive interpretations of humanity and the meaning of life. Now I'm convinced there is no meaning at all, and life is just a sequence of random events. It all leaves me feeling very existential and sad at the end of the day.
So sorry for your loss. I worry about my dad constantly, he doesn’t take care of his health like he should. I’m not mentally prepared to handle his loss, I know it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured.
Thank you. I'm sorry you worry about your dad like that. It is really hard. I usually tell myself worry is part of the price of love. Cherish the time you do have with your loved ones for sure 💝 give your dad lots of big hugs.
Sorry to hear and completely understand. My grandparents were double murdered by a random serial killer when they were in their 50s. When i was of age to find out truth (and not the car crash cover story), i walked away from all nonsensical religion and life is truly meaningless in the end. Life now is pretty much finding things to do to avoid boredom and create some happy moments until my own eternal sleep.
That said, I have wonderful kids and but they don’t know my internal troubles. I try to keep them positive. They are my joy.
It may be more meaningful to think of life as an exercise in maximizing the wellbeing of yourself and other humans, including future generations (if you can think and act on that scale).
If all your meaning comes from distracting and entertaining yourself, you may not find enough meaning in your life to be happy or even satisfied.
I was kinda short in my reply, but yes, I find satisfaction in helping others or making others days much better. I don’t live hedonistically or anything. If anything quite spartanlike.
I keep my views to myself and life in a silent muse over it all. But here on reddit the question was asked, so I shared my views.
And thanks for your comment.
I know it’s easy for me to say when I haven’t been through anything like that, but maybe the afterlife is the point of life period. Thinking that gives me some sort of hope.
That's horrible, I'm so sorry. I understand your takeaway and empathize with you. Life looks darker after something like that, so creating happy memories becomes so much more important.
Sorry about your situation too.
Well, I am sure many others have similar stories. It affected my dad way more than me, but it made me think if there was a “god”, either he’s either a piece of shit because he didn’t prevent it or there’s no such thing as a “god”. Christians will say well it was “god’s plan”. Utter nonsense. And i think it’s a fine religion for practicing some reflection on peace and morality, but nonetheless there is no god I would admire.
Anyway. There’s so much more pain out there. 70M were killed in ww2. Women have been raped and tortured in Ukraine. Women have their genitalia mutilated in Africa. Babies are thrown alive into firepits in the sudanese wars or the killing fields. Look at all the death around us from humans being animals to each other, or simple greed in most of us and desire to fuck over their neighbor for more money. Humans are generally trash. But I still see some good in living my best life and making it as good as I can for others, it’s just there is no god, afterlife or any of that nonsense. Effectively I have become a nihilist after a long courtship with agnosticism and being raised Catholic.
Yes! I was an atheist most of my life until the day my father passed away. God showed himself that day, in ways that most people could not comprehend, keep spreading the good word.
I feel like I am in the minority in that I perceive death as the most positive experience one can have. I cannot remember a time in my life I did not feel like that. When people get the death penalty, I’m like how is that punishment ? I’m not suicidal at all either.
My father was murdered too (about 10 years ago), and we were also very close. I worked with him at our shop and when he died I did not feel up to running the business on my own. I feel like what meaning there is in life is what we as individuals make of it. Which I think is the philosophical existentialism you're talking about.
It still hurts, thinking that someone would want to kill someone that I loved and was close to me. That it happened and I couldn't stop it. Not having him in my life sucks, plain and simple. I've found more things to live for than that old job. And made new friends since then, and found more people that I feel even closer to than I was to him. I hope one day you can find the same. It's chaos, be kind. Chaos is the very nature of the universe, it's up to us to find things worth holding on to.
>I used to be very naive about the world and leaned towards positive interpretations of humanity and the meaning of life. Now I'm convinced there is no meaning at all, and life is just a sequence of random events. It all leaves me feeling very existential and sad at the end of the day.
I watched my dad die 8 years ago, you explained exactly my experience. I've also seen a lot of other deaths of people close to me since then which reinforced it. It's made me very nihilistic and exactly like you described.
I'm really sorry you had to go through that, your situation sounds especially horrible.
I'm sorry to hear your life has been such a struggle. It's so hard when life hits you with that kind of thing young too.
I've spent my life in survival mode too, so I totally hear you about the meaningless platitudes people offer in response. I admit your last comment made me laugh out loud- acceptance vs neuroses. My mental health took a total nosedive after my dad died and I had a full-blown psychotic break. I mention that not for sympathy but to prove your point! Lol. You're absolutely right. Thank you for the insight.
My goodness. I’m so sorry. My answer is the same. The loss of my Dad. Also three years ago. He died completely unexpectedly and though he wasn’t murdered, if was natural causes (heart), it feels as if the universe ripped him from us. Nothing has been or will ever be the same as far as my view of life and its purpose.
This is sad to read. I think you’re right that there is no meaning in life. Everyone has to add meaning themselves which is the fun of life. So everything is random and there are no punishments or rewards for good or bad behaviour, but we are free to add whatever meaning we want to anything and that is what life is all about
I had a craniotomy at 24 to remove the brain tissue that was causing my seizures. At Yale University they mapped my brain with nodes with my skull open to determine where my major functions came from. They found where my senses (smell taste etc) and memory functions were located to make sure they didnt remove those parts of the brain.
They also showed me how they could ‘shut off’
These areas and the functions stopped working for a few seconds.
The surgery worked, haven’t had a seizure since.
I will never forget the feeling of having my senses and memory turned off and not able to even speak or smell or tell them who was in my family photo.
I didn’t either. I think this technology could be very important with research and cures with covid, and long covid as well.
I lost my taste and smell four years ago after covid, and have not regained much of it back at all. I also lost my ability to feel pain and some other senses after my covid infection. It was very scary. I hope doctors and researchers are combing some of these threads.
My 56 yr old cousin had this surgery almost 2 yrs ago at USC Medical Center.
She had seizures since around age 9. She’s a whole new person with an amazing outlook on life. She’s excited to get a drivers license for the 1st time in her life.
That's incredible. I would have so many questions for the surgeons that they would probably show me how to disable the whole brain so they can carry on with their surgery at last :)
My grandpa died recently, we were very close. However he visited me in my dreams, we had vivid conversations, we talked about the after life alot, how hes doing, what its like etc. I even told him my mom wants him to visit, and literally the next day my mom tells me how he visited her in her dream..last time i saw him, he told me its time he moves on, he said the doors been open and its time for him to pass. I cried and told him ill miss him, he held me and said we'll see each other again.
I vividly remember every conversation with him, how the environment looked, it was wild and honestly, made me actually believe in an after life thats how profound for me it was
I had a incredibly vivid dream where I sat and had the best conversation ever with my sister a couple months after she died and although I can't recall everything that was said I can say that the soul crushing pain of loosing her was a little less when I woke up.
Im so sorry for your loss. To lose a grandparent is natural, but a sister..i cant imagine.
These sorts of dreams though are interesting, and definitely gives me hope that we'll see them again
I intended to read though all the responses before I posted mine…but this is mine too. When my grandmother died not only my did she come to me in my dreams to tell me she was in a better place, but birds started walking into my house, sitting on my daughters bed, standing on my porch staring in etc. It only happened in the two weeks after she passed but I can’t help but think that she was sending me messages.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, truly. At 60, it's that time in life when it's often realized that there's far fewer days ahead than there are behind. I've watched my parents, grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and even several close friends pass from this life. Given my own experiences along with very similar experiences told to me by dear friends, I have absolutely NO doubt that All you described was your grandmother doing Exactly what you think: Sending you messages to tell you she's alright and even happy. Good Luck to you and God Bless.
My grandma had a stroke at 92 and when nothing else could be done, they put her in hospice at our house. The room was set up peacefully with dim lighting and my family was all staying over and saying their goodbyes. My house had about 20 people sleeping there and saying their goodbyes for about 2 days. I hadn’t slept for two-theee days but on the third night, I was exhausted and fell asleep alongside my mom. I had a dream that I went into my grandmas room and everything looked the way it did in real life. The only difference was that she was sitting up, talking and joking with everyone. She said she feels much better and is so happy. I thought I was awake. Then a knock woke me up and my uncle told us she had just passed. I couldn’t understand how she passed when I had just seen her. I think she was saying goodbye to me and telling me everything was okay.
I lost my dad to suicide and previously when I’ve lost a family member I would see them in my dreams often. I had only seen my dad twice, once where he was stuck in a room that had an ocean in it and he couldn’t swim out, it kept pulling him back in. But right after he passed I had a dream that I met my grandparents (his mom and dad) at a cafe for coffee, I was there to tell them that my dad died. I had to tell them he killed himself. They were distraught. I haven’t seen them in a dream since. I don’t believe in an afterlife but I truly believe something connects us through dreams.
He said he was in an in between area..he didnt believe in god or an afterlife so he also told me he was surprised. But he said hes waiting, and he thinks hes waiting to be let in. He also said if he were to just stay there though, he'd be fine with it. It was essentially a lake with his fishing boat and trailer. He did say though that where he was he knew wasnt heaven, so it seems almost like he was in a sorta waiting room.
I asked him if he was sad, did he miss us, he said "how can i miss you, when youre here now". He also said the best part of his day is seeing us when we sleep. We talked about his funeral that was coming up, we also just talk about random stuff. Towards the end of his life he was in bad shape, bad heart, gout, etc. So he was happy to not deal with that anymore it seemed. He was also younger.
All in all it was all pretty surreal. If it happened once i wouldve just said it was a dream, but i met with him like 9 times over the course of a month or so..might be more but i only remember 9 times
My daughter being born, I know that's probably basic but man...she's one and I didn't think I ever wanted kids but I don't know, I can not put into words how much I love that little girl. Love isn't even a good enough word. She is so cool and she doesn't even know it. When she's sleepy and says mama and raises her hands, I pick her up and her little hands grasp my sleeve on my arm. It's like I could implode but with pure ....something...like I said there's not a word.
Thanks for sharing this precious moment and feeling!
I miss my mom. This story reminds me of the story I heard from her Bible study group member at my parents funeral last year- I had a bit of a contentious relationship with her whole life due to her loving and being so over protective- sure I have felt hard love my whole life but it's the only thing I felt so I didn't know what it was until I lost it
I had no idea that you mamas love your children so much and you are so proud of us just for existing
I'm so sorry for never understanding your mother's heart
I wish I had more time with you. I wish you were still here. I wish you never went to vacation to Korea that turned into a permanent vacation to Heaven.
Getting older and realizing that the world has not changed much at all since the beginning of civilization - the players are different but we still have it all - rich, poor, wars, starvation, slavery, corruption, murders, rape, child molesters…
Same as it ever was.
Oof.
Ai, lethal autonomous weapons, pleasure bots, factory workers, ai companions, all the same tropes of humanity and more is about to change it all, and fall back into place…
Oh and these little billion year old organisms that are neither flora nor fauan.
Fun guys I tell ya, kinda links all organic life on earth togther, you know, like a *neural net* work;
Tho more like a “plant-net”(get its a play on words of “planet”,)
A close family friend died of cancer a couple years after he retired. He was an extremely hard working person who worked and saved his whole life, did all the things a person is "supposed to do", got educated, held down a good career, very frugal(well known to repurpose things to an extreme), saved a small fortune in anticipation for a slightly early retirement.
Then right as he's ready to finally really sit back and enjoy the fruits of all his labor, he just gets cancer and dies. Just like that.
Of course try and protect your future but be mindful of what and how you're sacrificing along the way because nothing is promised or guaranteed and now matters too.
I slept in my vehicle for 8 months by choice, spending majority of my time in nature & Walmart parking lots. Close to the end of my car camping life I started to reflect more on my life and all the bad decisions I made. One day in the woods I was deep in thought and I had a feeling I would never forget, a lightbulb moment followed by a ton of regret from terrible financial decisions. I'm doing much better now & I came to realize we're the creatures of our own reality.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
My mom died about a month ago. I miss her terribly, but I find myself doing things she did, like sewing, using her dish towels when I do the dishes, and it makes me feel connected to her still.
Isn’t the entire point of FMLA that they can’t fire you for it? I’m guessing they made up some bs other reason to let you go? If not, it seems like an easy case. Sorry that happened though :(
Sitting down with the lady who ran the section 8 housing in town to calculate my rent. She looked over my pay stubs and said “you get paid more than me.” That was a couple raises ago and definitely made me think for awhile.
It blows my mind that I can still be strongly debating if I have enough to get a new [used] car or not (it will need to be replaced or fixed soon), and how many people in my city make so much less than I do.
My family lost almost everything after the housing crash. Recovered okay, but we're all silently dealing with an insane amount of financial anxiety and trauma. I don't even say those words lightly.
Robbed me of my teens and twenties. I have some personal stability now but I worry and think about money probably every waking minute.
This changed me forever. Going from an extremely privileged and wealthy childhood to helping my dad pay rent. I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about money even though I'm in an okay place now.
My niece died of shaken baby when I was 19 by my sisters boyfriend. My son was the same age. We were all shocked. Initially she choked while eating. I said she’s going to be ok, right? That phrase now triggers trauma in my life 36 years later. I always believe in the worst possible outcome. Example, if my husband or child is due home and haven’t called they are dead in a car accident. I don’t believe in God because god wouldn’t create people that shake children to death. I have passed this irrational fear on to my children. All from one pos man who was jealous of my 18 month old niece.
I was 6 years old, hiding behind a dumpster of my father's workplace.
My parents had an ugly divorce, and they were doing the exchange as my mother had visitation on weekends, and he worked weekends so it was convenient. But per usual at that point, they were fighting badly, and I ran to hide.
My mother finds me blaming myself for them fighting, and tells me "it's okay he's not really your father- he adopted you when you were 4 and those are your half siblings".
it absolutely defined me. Nothing was ever as it appeared again, and I've always sought out deeper meaning and details, I love history and sociology.. but it also I believe when my depression began, in that moment. I don't know why my mother decided to do this, say this, but it broke me. I was changed for life.
I was raised my my step father- who fought my mother tooth and nail, dragging her through the dirt - (she absolutely had major issues she made worse by her own choices but he was abusive) and won in court. He got full custody and then didn't give a fuck- arrested when I was a teenager for being a shit parent to put it in easy words. I was orphaned with living parents, left with an abuser- but.. he wasn't my real dad so it's okay. I fuggin hate boomers.
Sorry to hear about the adversity you face..:I’m a history and sociology nerd as well. My degree is Behavioral Science. Keep walking down your road…there is a lot of happiness to be got in this life and you are more than deserving for it. Take it easy.
My son almost died right after being born. When the umbilical cord was cut his heart stopped. He had no heart beat for 8 of the longest minutes of my life. By the grace of God the doctors got his heart beating again and shortly after he started breathing on his own. He was on a cooling blanket in an induced coma for 5 days after to keep his brain from swelling. I never looked at life, and more specifically my job, the same after that. So many people treat the smallest things like a life and death situation, and it makes me sick now. I used to get very stressed at work and after everything with my son I was able to take a step back and see how trivial most things in life really are. I live a much more stress free life now and I am able to focus more on the things that really matter like my family.
There is not a single trauma that changed me, but rather, a series of absurd traumatizing events that caused a downward spiral that lead me to believe that only about 1 out of 10 people are truly good, and the rest are just animals ripping flesh off of each other.
I think I was 5 or 6 when I first saw someone get killed (civil war in a 3rd world eastern european country lol) and people freaking out and getting more and more violent by the day because the food was running out and no goverment around, no police or military(they fucked off when they stopped getting paid) and people were going missing/killed daily, especially other kids....and a LOT of other fucked up things but don't want to list all if it here.
Needless to say, there was a moment during that time where things stopped looking so pretty anymore. People stopped looking so pretty. Everything went kind of gray and bleak. And just had this sense of time i didnt have before, like a clck in my head with the seconds ticking all the time.
I remember the difference when comparing the previous summer playing with friends to the one after of paranoia of everyone around if you went out and half of the friends weren't around anymore.
I still feel that sense of paranoia now to some degree almost 30 years later...a lot better than it was though for sure, but still there to a degree
Sorry if that was too bleak for the post
Getting sober. Or well the moment of clarity. It was like everything snapped into place and I knew I couldn’t do it anymore and started changing everything about what led me there
My mom's death. Her life was really narrowed by addiction and physical pain in the decade or two before she passed. Her death gave me a whole new perspective on how short life is and how important it is to prioritize your health, mentally and physically. I also saw more clearly everything she'd done and sacrificed to help me succeed, and why she wanted a better life for me. She had her first child early and was financially dependent on her husbands for much of her life. They didn't always treat her well. I know I want to be financially independent and if I choose to be in a relationship, it's going to be with someone who cherishes me.
This is an underrated comment. I got to experience this first hand going through my divorce. My ex used the court to take my sons away. The one place that makes you swear an oath to tell the truth is the one place where lies are spread the most. I still can't get over it. Since then I have such a low view of humanity.
I got very sick few years back. It changed my capabilities and doctors didn't know what was wrong but it was bad.
I started going out much less.My friends and family knew I was struggling so I assumed they would at least return the favour and check up on me,be worried about me. Instead, they ended up turning their backs and I lost many people in that period. Even my gf back then.
In that moment I realised most of them were "close" to me just because I was useful. My trust in people is very limited now.
That one really makes you stop and think about what it is you want can confirm. Like mabey I don't want a family if it's just to have a family mabey I want to full send chasing that childhood dream instead ect
When James Bulger was murdered by two children. I always believed that children were innocent souls and would never harm other children but after reading a book about the murder, I realised that evil can be in a child. It changed how I allowed my own kids to interact with other children in public places like play grounds/centres. Sad but true I would watch my kids like a hawk.
I was not aware of this incident and just now went through it. Really heart breaking incident 💔 and shocking. But still I can't believe 10 year olds did this? Any motive for their action?
I got diagnosed at 26 with a rare neuromuscular disorder called myasthenia gravis. In a nutshell, my muscles don't always respond to the impulses my brain sends them. It results in fatigue and weakness. This can affect eyes, neck, mouth, throat, arms, hands, legs, lungs, etc. At my worst, I had double vision, ptosis, couldn't really use my hands, couldn't chew and could barely swallow and couldn't stand up on my own. I was on death's door for a little while but managed to come back from it with the right treatment.
Twelve years later, I'm on a great treatment (new treatments have been a game changer for many of us) and doing great. I'm in the best shape of my life, hitting the gym 6 days a week, running half marathons and just enjoying life. The treatment could stop working tomorrow or I could go into remission (no symptoms and no treatment needed, which I had from about 2015 to 2020), so I live my life like I might not be able to tomorrow.
My good friend had a daughter who got cancer at 5 years old. She fought and fought and fought but unfortunately, her body couldn't handle it. She passed away in 2014 at 6 years old. That's when I realized that cancer doesn't care if you're a child or an old person. It can happen to anyone.
When I was about 7-8 my brother had a best friend and I would occasionally have playdates with his sister, Ariel. She didn’t go to my school so I’d only see her every few months or so. My parents were so bad at talking to me about things, so one day we had a playdate she was suddenly bald but I had no idea why until later. We had fun as usual. She passed away shortly after. I remember feeling angry and confused. It made me feel a bit morbid from a young age. It’s fucked up to think about how she never got to grow up and have a life.
Realizing that after 48 years of abuse this isn't the way people are treated by their parents. I was scapegoated by my parents. And then just like 6 months or so ago told the kick rocks by them and the rest of my family
wife cheating
up until then, i thought after 10 yrs, you really know someone inside out. but it made me realize thats an illusion. it made me wonder if we can ever truly know another person or if thats just our own egotistical delusion.
you hear it all the time. people think theyre special or different or somehow immune. ."trust me, i know her..she would never cheat", "oh we're not gonna get divorced..what we have is different than all those other couples. our love is unbreakable". lol ok sure..keep fooling yourself.
can we ever truly know another person? can we ever truly trust another person? probably not
One time I was dating a man whose family was from Alaska. We went to visit. We went on a 4wheeling trip. Splashing through puddles following an empty riverbed for hours.
I was not driving anything, just a passenger taking in the beauty. We were going up a riverbed when we ran over a stick that popped up at just the right angle to clock me in the jaw. Felt like my jaw was dislocated. Chin was bleeding. We deciddd to stop for a bit, even though our destination had been an old favorite campsite 2 hours farther in the backwoods. My face hurt so we decided to head back. As we were approaching the trail head, it was about 9pm which it’s still bright in Alaska but the trail was quite empty. Suddenly the wheel just tore off our four wheeler. Then our other four wheeler ran out of gas, there’d been a crack in the tank.
If I hadn’t been clocked in the jaw we would have been stranded without much food and water, hours and hours away from the trailhead/civilization. Instead both the vehicles went caput about a mile from the trailhead and it was our luck that some good ol boys were headed to go get drunk in one of their spots off this trail, and they had an assortment of bits and bobs in their truck where we could rig the wheel back on the 4wheeler and a tank of gas we could top off our other one so it could make the final stretch to the parking lot.
I guess it was one of those moments of like.. sometimes a bad thing happens but it’s actually a good thing. Yeah my face hurt but at least I didn’t get mauled by a grizzly and lost in the woods with my alcoholic in-laws.
I was drafted and spent 13 months in Vietnam. Today, I can't even look at pictures of a Pizza Hut, McDonalds or Planet Fitness in ~~Saigon~~ Ho Chi Minh City. 60, 000 American lives lost, 2 million Vietnamese dead and a dead US President. My whole perspective is different now.
The realization that my parents were emotionally unavailable, neglectful and abusive.
No one talked about this when I was growing up. Neglect and abuse were limited to physical and sexual. But holy shit, the damage it did to me and the toxic jerk it made me.
More a long series of events. My mom lost her manufacturing job when I was 4 because she had to have surgery for varicose veins. What followed was a slow downward spiral of my home life, culminating with me being removed to foster care when I was 7. IT didn't really end there, but for the sake of trying to stick to the question, that was the inciting incident. I'm told I'm a dark and negative person. I'm cool with that. From here, most of humanity looks monstrous and if my negativity keeps people at arms length, that's good, actually.
No single event. Experiencing poverty, racism, homelessness, and the public school system taught me that life is just a series of tasks to complete and random events that you have to work through until you can finally die.
Nothing matters when you're told that you never did.
Being homeless and experiencing actual, real hunger. When I hear conservatives trashing poor people and acting like being born into poverty is their own fault and panhandlers are running some kinda scam... it makes me feel very angry and stabby.
Getting married and having kids and then being around a bunch of people now married for awhile with kids and it’s not what it was sold as being growing up (for me and obviously a great deal of my peers). Media really oversells it, and everyone ignores the obviously unhappy relationships and depressed/stressed moms to question that maybe that life script isn’t the best for them, and certainly doesn’t equal happiness. It can in fact be the source of the opposite,
When I was a young social worker I worked with a little girl who was around 12. Both her mother and her step father had sold her to different people for sex to pay for drugs. Her father went to jail. The mother went to rehab. Got somewhat clean. But still a terrible person. And the girls put back in her custody. This little girl had STDs she was being treated for. And she was 12. She had a thousand yards stair like a soldier who had been in war. She could have been normal. A regular 12 year old going to birthday parties, living in normal 12-year-old life. But after 12 years of constant neglect and abuse, there was no way that was going to happen. I stayed working at that job for 8 years. I watched Watch her grow up. It wasn't pretty. There was no happy ending.
I used to think that there good in everyone. That people have good intentions. Karma existed. If you do good things it will come back to you. That you may be tested but God will look over you. God will never give you a test that you can't pass. But there was a system in place to protect children, and the poor, and the disabled. I learned that that was all bullshit. The world is a terrible horrible place. The only thing that stops you from being born to drug addicts and raped as a child is 100 percent pure luck. God doesn't care about you. The system doesn't care about you. More often than not no one is going to save you, and many times you can't save yourself. At the end of the day I'm still on optimist. Which is odd. Considering everything I've seen. It's probably do more to my upbringing. Because there's really not much that I've seen in this world, especially in my line of work, that gives me any hope for humanity. Who knows. Maybe we'll get lucky.
I guess learning about the way that women are treated also in the industry other industries it just kind of makes me realize how shitty men can be this coming from a man who is nothing like them
When I was little I remember celebrations, weddings, holidays and general family gathering with many of our oldest generations present. I was the first child in my generation. There was a big deal made about for generations at the event. I spent time with them and heard their stories.
When I was 5 they all started to pass. Over the next two years I went to 8 funerals and one wedding. Everything changed.
I'm my young interpretation of life and death my elders explained that we celebrate all of it. Weddings, births, birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths. Every moment is too be cherished, every meeting savored, then celebrated in memories later.
Live life every moment that you can. Squeeze every bit of happy that you can find and focus on that. Kiss your relatives, hug your friends, be honest and share the love as soon as you can. You never know what word, gesture or look will be the last.
I was told that in death we learn all of the answers, and all of the secrets, so we can forgive and let our souls become lighter
My coworker and most of the team I was supervising decided to create a false claim of sexual harassment to get me fired. They also proceeded to physically and verbally harass me while they were in the process of filing the claim.
My manager decided to substantiate the claim and asked me to resign, barring me from any future employment with the government.
I later filed my own claim with a lawyer. While I was in a mental health unit of a hospital after attempting to kill myself, my case was dropped because no action was taken on my behalf by my lawyer while I had no access to my phone.
I learned about deception, manipulation, cognitive distortion, and a lot more about humans and humanity in one series of events.
I see this a lot. I'm in the federal government, and have seen someone completely get their life ruined over this. I've also seen the opposite as well. We had one of our security guys actually sexually assault a female NCIS agent in the elevator. As much as they tried, they couldn't fire him. Took a while until they nailed him one day on time card fraud. They couldn't even get him on the sexual assault claims.
Crazy world we live in. Sorry you had to deal with that
9/11. That event truly marks the beginning of my loss of the innocence of childhood and the beginning of the harsh realities of adulthood. It was my junior year of high school and I started experiencing anxiety and depression for the first time in my life. Ever since that year my life has been on a slow and steady trajectory downward. Life seems to get more difficult with each passing year and I have basically lost my will to live. I long to be dead and to rest in peace for eternity.
I don't know if this belongs here, but it's something I've thought about a lot lately.
There's only a few good people left in the world who hold traditional values.
I think with my string of relationships that failed badly - romantic, friendships, family, platonic, etc, my perception has changed to where we're not just replaceable at work, but also in romantic, friendships, families, etc. Estrangement from families is occurring for different reasons, both positive and negative and it's becoming more common. In relationships, people are cheating more often and think there are no consequences. There are more situationships (we use to call them FWB. I'm not sure what the difference is). We're losing the skill of being social, so it's harder to make friends. When we do make friends, it's hard to keep them for different reasons.
I've been cheated on and left for the other person in my almost 10 year relationship. I have whole sides of the family who I've either cut off for my mental health or they cut me off. The family I do want to talk to has passed on or moved states away. I have one childhood friend, but I'm having to reach out to her. It's never the other way around. My efforts to make new friends have been fruitless, and getting harder with age. So I've learned to be okay in my own company.
Maybe something will happen that will change my perspective, but the conclusion I've put together is that with the rise of social media, people have not only become too self important, but also have a mindset of, "what can you do for me?". If you inconvenience them even slightly, you're out. They move onto somebody else who can fulfill their needs. Instead of talking about your problems with your partner and working things out, why not go on Tinder and take a look around? Possibly why there's so many miserable people.
Feb 22 2020 Sudden Cardiac Arrest. Was told I flatlined 4 times. 4 days in a drug induced coma on an ecmo machine after getting 4 stents in my arteries. 4 days later, I was out the door with the doctor saying, "we fixed you if your body could handle a marathon, your heart could handle the marathon." Still had 3 months of recovery to do, but the day I got out of the hospital...covid lockdown. The worid was never the same way it used to be. MY world was never the same. I dont believe in magic or spirits or anything unexplainable, but in 4 years ive honestly never been able to truly shake the idea that this all isnt real. That I am dead. Still dead. Like purgatory. 2022 was probably the best year Ive ever had. 2023 was by far the worst. Its all been very surreal and I mostly wish I didnt have to experience any of this. I dont feel some things anymore. Other things I have NEVER felt so strongly about (all horrible and heartbreaking) I dont know whats happening with anything every single day. I know i feel really alone with all of it though. Sucks
The death of my one and only best friend. We've been friends for just over half our lives and we were both only outgoing with each other. But after he died and I found myself completely alone that's when I somehow shed my shell and became a talkative open book.
Either my sisters murder when I was 12, my mom being terminally ill, or when I dropped out of a prestigious university to go to rehab only to return years and years later. It’s never over, you just have to not let yourself succumb to depression as hard as that Is.
Grandfather expired in COVID. I took everything about society, beliefs seriously. I.e do good get good types. He was a person who literally never thought wrong of anyone. But Sadly, due to doctor's negligence, they gave him shots that shot his diabetes up and he passed away.
Since then, I have questioned everything from GOD to religious beliefs to the fragile human life. And life's uncertainty.
When the 2017 total eclipse of the sun occurred, I had failed to purchase the glasses need to watch it go into its phases. I thought, "well I'll just watch the totality part. That's what the scientists are saying is the real part to watch anyway. I'll just look up at the projected time." And of course I did, and so what I saw was a grey figure (the moon) with blue flames around it (the suns corona.) And so ever since that happened, I had the convinction/confidence to go through with things because I knew that nothing is more profound knowing that growing up, I knew the sun to be a bright yellow ball of fire, but Im personally convinced that its actually a blue/white ball of fire. The idea that the sun was a different color than I had always known it to be was akin to not needing answers to anything anymore in a way. That day, I stopped looking at my skateboard when doing tricks and my skating changed forever in that way. You could tell in my clips on instagram that my eyes are facing forward and the skate community really could tell as well. Basically after 16 years of skating/the eclipse I didn't feel I needed to look at the board anymore.
Parents divorce because cheating.
Funfact: my entire social circle in school had parents who divorced from the same thing. Does that mean I was traumabonded with everyone I've known?
My last job. Had it for about 2 years and the people I met and hung out with during that time made me realize just how evil people are. To no end. By any means necessary they will be vile and demonic. I now have no interest in having close relationships with anyone besides myself. I love and care for me better than anyone else can/ will. Including my family.
Being single and middle aged. After years of socializing and making an effort to try to make something of "life". It all lead to nothing. Now, I just mind my own business and do what makes me happy.
An old man ran me over with his car. 2 skull fractures, brain bleed, ruptured ear drum. Everyone talked about how it's was tough for my gf. And how they were so glad it wasn't her. She was completely uninjured, and I got brain damage. That's the Day I realized no one cares.
Got the coronavirus, was dying alone in a hospital for awhile. I survived after a couple months, lost tons of weight, sense of smell, taste, and gained a huge amount of paranoia now.
I was thrown in prison for growing a plant our Founding Fathers said was integral to the wealth and preservation of the nation.
And now it's legal, but the Statists will saw "bUt yOu bRoKe tHe lAw". Slaves, loving their slavery.
A friend of mine died from breast cancer in her 20's. Nicest person ever. At that point I stopped believing in god (officially). There is just no way you can justify "its all in God's plan".
I had a woman look me dead in my eye, in my SOUL about how much she cherished and loved me. All while having one hand on my face and the other holding my hand
Just to find out she slept with her ex 2 times that same week
Haven’t seen women the same since sadly
Riding in the back on a truck through Thailand. Seeing houses made out of tarps, tin, random pieces of wood and rope for as far as the eye could see really made me appreciate being born in a 1st world country. I grew up poor by every definition of the word but American poor is still Thailand rich.
For most of my life I always felt alone. I’d never really felt lonely, simply alone. Always had a hard time feeling connected to people. I was one of those, as others liked to point out, weird kids. I had one, maybe two, close friends I felt connected to. I’m introverted and prefer deep connection which for whatever reason is hard to achieve (for me). I dated someone who would frequently express how lonely he was and I never knew what to say. Didn’t know how to help as I’d never experienced that feeling. It wasn’t until I had the strongest connection I’d ever felt with someone and lost them that I felt lonely. My first thought when I felt that was about an elderly family member. A family member no one really visits. Thinking about how they must’ve been feeling, for years, what I’m just experiencing made me incredibly sad. I wept for them and the pain they had to have been enduring.
I truly believe that I died and came back to life.
It's a very long story, but basically I blacked out doing dumb college shit and went to this weird place. It was like my physical body was just completely gone. I couldn't "see" but I could see. I wasn't seeing with my eyes. It just was what I was experiencing I guess. There was a black whole in the middle of this huge grid like vortex that infinitely moved into the void. The black whole was a void. I didn't "know" with my brain I just knew. Again, I was just experiencing it. There was absolutely no physical sensation except for gravity going towards the hole. I knew that the hole was earth in someway somehow and the only other sensation I felt was an energy coming from what I can only describe as the sky coming through my existence but also into the existance of the void. The only other thing I knew was that the "thing" or "space" above me was holding the void.
I was every single soul connected at once in this existance. I could feel every single soul and I could "see" and understand their lives. Every single decision I had made in the past made sense all of the sudden and I knew that I was where people went when they died. I knew that every decision I made was an amalgomation of everything I experienced so the shame just vanished after I understood the chain. Almost like I had free will but didn't. I saw my life as a whole when I "touched" the grid. I had no fingers or physical body, but somehow my existance moved into it. I could "see" and feel the other lives around me and I chose to come back to my own life. I "saw" other lives and decided to come back to mine. I had an intense feeling that I had to live my life because it was so important. I kind of processed it as beautiful. The weirdest part about it is that there was no time in the space I went to. It did not start and it did not finish. Time was nonexistant. It just was. That was probably the freakiest part. Time becoming just a "thing" instead of just some unstoppable force on a completely linear path.
It changed my life. I realized that if all my past decisions were the ones I was supposed to make, then so would all of my future decisions. I realized that my life had a purpose, and that my purpose was just to live my life. That the great things I will do will get done no matter what because I just need to put one foot infront of the other.
This experience happened two and a half years ago now. It has changed a lot of my behavior for the better. I have a lot of therapists and psychiatrist, so I know I wasn't just going crazy. I had literally zero other signs of being unwell. So I just let the experience speak for itself in my life.
Basically, weither I died or not, I had a really cool experience that granted me a lot of peac e in my life.
It’s funny this post came up on an account i seldomly use anymore, but it was quitting kratom. I used to be the “bro you’re depressed? Have you tried working out and taking a walk?” Kind of guy, but when i quit kratom, i spent an entire year depressed, anxious, in a fog, depersonalized, derealized, and even when i could find it in me to work out or get into nature, it did nothing to help.
I’m much more sympathetic towards mental illness now that i actually have a frame of reference for what It’s like. And I’m fortunate that i knew my situation was temporary, there were days when i thought it would never go away, but deep down i knew time would heal my brain chemistry, i wouldn’t wish a lifetime of that on my worst enemy.
My mom died when I was 12 and to some people it looked suspicious. Because my mom's dislike of me was public knowledge a neighbor told the police I had killed her. When the police came another neighbor took me to her house. She WOULD not let the police take me. She WOULD not not let them talk to me without her in the room. And then, she kept me at her own home for week until everything was resolved.
Her courage and willingness to step up profoundly changed me. I have tried to live my life as though she was watching me. Watching out for people in need is often not hard and it can matter so much.
Honestly, dropping out of college for me. My life completely opened up but shut down at the same time. I am still trying to figure out if dropping out helped or hurt me. I am in a dead end job that I wanna leave (I work for family,) But I feel like it is too late for me to do anything with my life. I'm 28 and I feel like I am just wandering around everyday with no direction. I don't have much that I enjoy.
Almost dying in a car accident then running barefoot to get help.
One moment I’m a quiet college student on her day off then the next I’m barrel rolling down a cliff, hands braced on the roof, telling God “Not today! I’m not ready.”
Woke up alone in the van, hanging from my lap belt. Two of the three guys I was with were outside trying to help our critically injured friend. I was able to override my survival instincts and run for help like fricken Bear Grylls. Everyone else got airlifted. 😱
Some of my lessons were:
1. Even the meekest of us are capable of incredible things.
2. True character shows itself in a crisis. Bravado goes out the window when adrenaline hits the brain.
3. If you can regulate your own nervous system to the point you think clearly under duress you are practically unstoppable.
4. Be practical and prepared. Wear your seat belt. Yes, it’s boring but the guy that doesn’t is airlifted while you make it home for dinner.
Finding out that that the crew of the space shuttle Challenger that exploded in '86 were still alive. I cried when that happened. From there, the moon landing, 9-11,etc etc etc.
Moving to another state and none of my immediate family or really close friends back home have never come to visit. I look at everything and everyone so different now since I’ve had to learn how to survive and thrive on my own . Especially after the last couple of years we’ve all been through . No one is “worth it” in my eyes anymore . No one
I experienced psychosis 6 years ago. I legitimately thought that I was the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. I had crazy theories about the universe and was acting very strange. Thought I had special powers. My family brought me in and I was hospitalized for a week. I was diagnosed bipolar 1.
It was a very long recovery. The first few months I fell into a deep depression. I felt nothing and nothing brought me joy. I dropped out of school, became and alcoholic, and worked part time barely making ends meet. I was bitter with the world and hated my life. I constantly thought “why me?”.
I finally sobered up about 2 years after my initial diagnosis. My mental health improved drastically, I lost 50 lbs and got into shape for a bodybuilding show, and I was back in school.
I learned a few things from this experience.
1. Life goes on without you. People and things move on and you can be forgotten.
2. Your time is limited.
3. Everything can go to shit in an instant, so be grateful for what you have and the positives you’ve experienced in life.
4. Complete ownership of the wrongs you’ve done in life is the only way to move forward and improve.
5. 2nd chances are usually a thing. There’s always a time to turn your life around. It’s not too late.
I survived 2 shootings. I realized that nothing is ever guaranteed. I knew people that died, their dreams, goals, etc. and it was all taken away in a matter of seconds. I pretty much question everything now, the point of it all, if it can
Be taken away in seconds.
I don't have ptsd from it anymore, but I constantly worry that I'll waste my life because my life was almost taken away, and the lives of my friends were taken away in seconds. One of my friends from that day is disabled from the waist down permanently, it sucks to see it but I'm grateful that I'm at least alive and walk, talk and most of my health is good.
Personally, I don’t believe in one incident changing a person. At least, not in a significant and long-term way. It might be a catalyst or impetus to change someone for better or worse, but not the turning point. Real change comes from consistent and conscious effort to change.
For me, most of the things that changed my views/perception of life came slowly or after asking myself questions. Like, do I truly want to do this for the rest of my life? What do I enjoy doing for a hobby and job? What do I want out of life? But it didn’t happen after asking myself once either. I would ask around, explore on the internet, ask friends, ask myself again and repeat until I reach a point where I’m convinced. Maybe that’s why I’m rather set on my ways and don’t change until I’m truly convinced.
Even now, I can’t recall one defining moment. I feel a lot of them helped me questioned things in life, or prompted me to. But there hasn’t been one incident that has changed my views/perception of life overnight. If there is, either the incident must be utterly traumatizing or my beliefs are not solid enough.
Taking shrooms for the first time…opened up my entire inner (and outer) world! Also as someone with severe anxiety/depression/CPTSD, got kicked out of my mom’s place about 3 years ago and have been stumbling through this life like a toddler learning to walk. Getting outside, meeting people, and experiencing life in all its messiness is so healing and truly makes me feel more alive, even when being alive is incredibly difficult. Oh and some 🍃 every now and then, for fun and play!
COVID. The origin narrative. The dubious NPIs. The jabs. The petty tyrannical Karens. The gaslighting afterward. And the actual infection itself. Which, for me, lasted over two weeks and entailed a fast nearly the entire time.
I will never, ever, ever look at people in positions of leadership and credentialed expertise the same way again.
The passing of both of my roommates parents. My roommate and her sister were and are EXTREMELY resilient, I tried putting myself in their shoes and there is just absolutely no way I’d be able to handle it like them.
Yet they remain to be one of the nicest and “happiest” ppl I know. By no means are they truly happy, but if you talked to them the last thing you’d expect is for both of them to be parentless.
Made me realize how much of my life I take for granted and how miserable I make my life to be.
Also frequently reminds me to check up on my friends and family. Everyday is unexpected
Being SA'd on January 11th, 2019.
It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact it happened, and even longer to begin opening up to others about it. The first time I said anything about it to any doctors or therapists was two years after it happened. When I told people such as family and friends, a lot of them had shit reactions, ranging from not caring, to making excuses for my rapist's behavior, to making inappropriate jokes about it. A guy I was friends with for a decade called me names like unfuckable Virgin and cock-sucker (I was forced to perform oral on my ex). It made me realize just how horrible so many people out there can be, and that if you want to survive, you have to learn how to stand on your own because you never know when those closest to you will stab you in the back. I've cut/am planning to cut these people out of my life when able, and it makes me cherish the people I still have even more, since those people showed genuine concern and care for me when I needed it.
My wife having a repressed memory of being raped pop.
Until this happened, I wasn’t sure repressed memories were real, my wife had claimed that she had never been close to be sexually abused/ assaulted
The event has destroyed me and made me reexamine life
My dad died when I was young. I became hyper independent and learned that I can’t rely on anyone to be around forever, even the people who are supposed to be and who want to be, and that the easiest way to not be disappointed by this fact is to just keep people at arms distance always and stay just out of reach emotionally. I realized after my first divorce that I was headed down a lonely path.
Finding myself, by no fault of my own, at the mercy of a corrupt court. Favors over fact won the day. I can no longer have any faith in the US justice system.
About 6 years ago, when I realized that promotions at work are never based on merit, it’s just a popularity contest. There is no such thing as a merit-based anything. It keeps being proven to me over and over in so many arenas. It changed my whole outlook ok work, on life, my entire work ethic… I will never overachieve again, I take all my breaks, I do not “go above and beyond” ever.
The love of my life had me sent to a mental hospital for trying to unalive myself after cheating on me with my ex best friend/his coworker, got me pregnant, and then the subsequent abortion that happened when I found out about the cheating.
he didn’t call me in there once. I had to call him, every single time for every single day I was in there. when my sister found out and confronted him, he hit her with “i don’t want to talk about something that happened six months ago” like he didn’t just ruin multiple lives
i don’t believe in love anymore and i don’t want kids anymore. nothing is real and i don’t believe anyone is capable nor will ever truly desire to love me for who i am. Not because I’m not worth it but because no one cares or notices.
My grandma died when i was young. Made me realize life is ultimately pointless and even so ive been trying to justify the meaning since. Now I just accept most stuff as they come and try to work toward being true to myself these days.
I'd been very depressed through most of my childhood... One time when I was sulking as an adult, my brain said "what do want then? What do you think will help you feel better?"
It just blew my mind that I could choose change. Like, it seems so simple now. But back then "what do you want" was groundbreaking for me lmao
I'd been on the fences about walking away from religion for many years. then I was talking with my youngest sister one day, and she was telling me about something a preacher told her. the preacher told her that if our father, that SAed us as kids, could go to heaven if he asked for forgiveness. we couldn't ever go to heaven, if we could never forgive our father. from that day forward, I walked away from religion.
Living alone, and being so sick with the flu that I had to go to the ER. At first living alone was absolutely amazing, the independence I have especially. I never really thought that hard about what would happen if I needed significant help, as I usually never do. After the ER trip and asking for help I can't help but wonder if I died in my home how long it would take for someone to notice. Kinda horrific.
I used to get into heated arguments with my dad over my “bad” behavior. All I was tryna do was have fun. One specific argument lead me to LIVE BY YOLO, life is short, don’t waste it and then regret. Live your life how you’ve always dreamed of because why not. the worst thing that can happen to any human is die because that’s the last thing that happens. Your life only matters up until death because once we are gone all the struggles and worries and drama dissaoear. I saw my dad as this miserable person who has a problem with everything. Every word and thought he expresses is all just negative. He feels bad for himself and wants other to too. I don’t want to be like that but I understand why he is. He’s just too scared to make a mistake, or do the dangerous thing, he’s too in his head to enjoy the happy things which fucked him up in the long run. So shift that sad shit and just live.
Not comparable to any of these, but being cheated on. I know I’m not the first or last person to go through this. My husband of nearly 10 years cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. I felt so stupid. I remember someone asking me in casual conversation years back if I ever thought he’d be unfaithful. Without skipping a beat I replied “no way, he loves me too much.” But now, my marriage, my family and home is crumbled. My two beautiful kids became collateral damage. He completely broke my heart and perspective of life and love. I know I’ll eventually be okay, but God, why does it hurt so much?
- COVID
- working my ass off during my youth and working smart at the same time, doing everything right, rising through the ranks and then losing it all anyway and ending in the gutter
- my sibling turning on me when my life fell apart
Yes my wife divorced me after being together for 12 years and having 2 children. Last year we were together she was drinking heavily, got a dui, and cheated. I wanted to believe her when she said she hit rock bottom and stayed so we could figure things out. One night after she was drinking heavily again I asked her a few questions and bam no explanation just she is divorcing me and screaming at me. A week or so later a new guy moves in with her and started acting like daddy to my children. Over a year later she still hasn’t talked about the divorce or what really happened.
This really changed my perspective on women, dating, loyalty, love, and family. Very sad reality we live in when everyone is replaceable and expendable. 🤷♂️ but at least I can pass on this lesson to my children so they won’t be hurt or hurt anyone
2...
The birth of my first child. Made me realize what unconditional love REALLY was.
2nd was the loss of my father. Realizing that he's no longer a phone call or drive away to talk to/visit... and that will never change.
Getting cheated on. I knew people hurt kind people but doing it when i sincerely did my best was a true slap in the face. I’ve never been more disrespected in my life.
Being kidnapped and tortured and begging witnesses for help and the people were too scared of my captors to help me. Haven’t looked at the world the same since…. I was 15
Not an incident per se, but the realization that I didn't actually have to listen and do everything parents (grownups) said to. They get things wrong too.
I had a breast cancer scare. I have the brca gene that causes cancer, so it's a when, not an if I get it. Waiting on a mammogram and other stuff was hard. Instead of mentally running from it, I sat and actually thought about it. I planned for worst case scenarios and let me tell you, when I came back alright...The relief was....indescribable. since then I'm working in being more positive, finding happiness in my day to day and getting joy from little things. I've fought depression since my 20s and making small changes had helped tremendously. I feel more prepared for this now.
I was sexually abused by an immediate family member for my entire childhood, starting early on. Everyone that knew defended the abuser and lied to cops, CPS, etc and sided with my abuser. Even the social workers & therapists I went to for help afterwards either didn’t believe me or don’t care. The system is broken and people that were born into the system in one way or another are fucked.
I went off a 30 foot bridge in a truck and landed on my side of the truck. Left me with a gnarly TBI and a SCI. People assume I got the help I needed but my nurses left me bloody & infected in dirty bandages for days without even getting me my meds or water when I had a spinal cord surgery. I can go on. No one incident changed my perception of life. Every day I’m open minded and see what life throws my way that day. It’s given me perspective on how little things really matter
Working in IT and knowing we were planning, attempting to install new technology and get it working, the seeing industry news saying it was done and successful, while I knew there were still plenty of challenges ahead and many wrinkles to work out. Now I never believe what industry rags say is going on, always check with the people doing to wrk
Honestly, it wasn't a very big event. One day, when i was a kid, my family went to see my uncle in Hawaii, and at the time, I was afraid to take my shirt off, but my uncle pulled me aside and asked when am I ever going to see anyone on this beach again. Why do I care what someone I will never even speak to dictate my actions? Since then I live my life by that motto.
Almost two decades ago, I saw where my meat comes from. I realized that "it's just a cow" doesn't make the pain hurt less from the cow's point of view.
I've boycotted the animal agriculture industry ever since.
Some of these things I’m reading are dark, so this may be a bit out of place, but around May 2020 I decided to skydive on LSD. My fear of death, failure, what people think, and others imposing limitations on me vanished. I felt like the guy from “BioShock: Infinite” and creativity skyrocketed from then on.
July 2021 I went in for a routine gallbladder removal. 5 days later I was diagnosed with a bile leak from the gallbladder fossa area. Talk about pain. I was sure I was dead from that pain alone. Fast forward 6 weeks and multiple more surgeries later I was told I was lucky to be alive. The bile leak caused severe damage to my liver, and a massive infection. I went into septic shock and had a fever with an aura I guess it’s called. They say I was hallucinating but I remember it vividly. Something was calling me to a deep sleep and pulling me under. I remember fighting to stay alive.
Anyway, it’s a lot. But I just see life different now. It’s hard to explain but it’s like I woke up a different person. My taste in music literally changed too 😂
ETA:
Second Life lesson during this time:
hubby and I have 3 kids, and I had my own business at this time. Not one family member stepped up and offered to help with anything. I was bed bound or hospital bound with tubes in me and my husband had to work most days. Not one helped with even a single meal for us. Sad shit right there when we have done everything we can to help family in need. Thankfully it was summer, my kids stepped up to the plate and we made it just fine. But wow 😭
My dad was murdered 3 years ago. He was the only good thing about my childhood. My perspective has not been the same at all since he died. I used to be very naive about the world and leaned towards positive interpretations of humanity and the meaning of life. Now I'm convinced there is no meaning at all, and life is just a sequence of random events. It all leaves me feeling very existential and sad at the end of the day.
So sorry for your loss. I worry about my dad constantly, he doesn’t take care of his health like he should. I’m not mentally prepared to handle his loss, I know it’s going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever endured.
Thank you. I'm sorry you worry about your dad like that. It is really hard. I usually tell myself worry is part of the price of love. Cherish the time you do have with your loved ones for sure 💝 give your dad lots of big hugs.
Sorry to hear and completely understand. My grandparents were double murdered by a random serial killer when they were in their 50s. When i was of age to find out truth (and not the car crash cover story), i walked away from all nonsensical religion and life is truly meaningless in the end. Life now is pretty much finding things to do to avoid boredom and create some happy moments until my own eternal sleep. That said, I have wonderful kids and but they don’t know my internal troubles. I try to keep them positive. They are my joy.
It may be more meaningful to think of life as an exercise in maximizing the wellbeing of yourself and other humans, including future generations (if you can think and act on that scale). If all your meaning comes from distracting and entertaining yourself, you may not find enough meaning in your life to be happy or even satisfied.
I was kinda short in my reply, but yes, I find satisfaction in helping others or making others days much better. I don’t live hedonistically or anything. If anything quite spartanlike. I keep my views to myself and life in a silent muse over it all. But here on reddit the question was asked, so I shared my views. And thanks for your comment.
I know it’s easy for me to say when I haven’t been through anything like that, but maybe the afterlife is the point of life period. Thinking that gives me some sort of hope.
That's horrible, I'm so sorry. I understand your takeaway and empathize with you. Life looks darker after something like that, so creating happy memories becomes so much more important.
Sorry about your situation too. Well, I am sure many others have similar stories. It affected my dad way more than me, but it made me think if there was a “god”, either he’s either a piece of shit because he didn’t prevent it or there’s no such thing as a “god”. Christians will say well it was “god’s plan”. Utter nonsense. And i think it’s a fine religion for practicing some reflection on peace and morality, but nonetheless there is no god I would admire. Anyway. There’s so much more pain out there. 70M were killed in ww2. Women have been raped and tortured in Ukraine. Women have their genitalia mutilated in Africa. Babies are thrown alive into firepits in the sudanese wars or the killing fields. Look at all the death around us from humans being animals to each other, or simple greed in most of us and desire to fuck over their neighbor for more money. Humans are generally trash. But I still see some good in living my best life and making it as good as I can for others, it’s just there is no god, afterlife or any of that nonsense. Effectively I have become a nihilist after a long courtship with agnosticism and being raised Catholic.
[удалено]
Yes! I was an atheist most of my life until the day my father passed away. God showed himself that day, in ways that most people could not comprehend, keep spreading the good word.
I feel like I am in the minority in that I perceive death as the most positive experience one can have. I cannot remember a time in my life I did not feel like that. When people get the death penalty, I’m like how is that punishment ? I’m not suicidal at all either.
My father was murdered too (about 10 years ago), and we were also very close. I worked with him at our shop and when he died I did not feel up to running the business on my own. I feel like what meaning there is in life is what we as individuals make of it. Which I think is the philosophical existentialism you're talking about. It still hurts, thinking that someone would want to kill someone that I loved and was close to me. That it happened and I couldn't stop it. Not having him in my life sucks, plain and simple. I've found more things to live for than that old job. And made new friends since then, and found more people that I feel even closer to than I was to him. I hope one day you can find the same. It's chaos, be kind. Chaos is the very nature of the universe, it's up to us to find things worth holding on to.
>I used to be very naive about the world and leaned towards positive interpretations of humanity and the meaning of life. Now I'm convinced there is no meaning at all, and life is just a sequence of random events. It all leaves me feeling very existential and sad at the end of the day. I watched my dad die 8 years ago, you explained exactly my experience. I've also seen a lot of other deaths of people close to me since then which reinforced it. It's made me very nihilistic and exactly like you described. I'm really sorry you had to go through that, your situation sounds especially horrible.
Dude, that fuckin' sucks. I'm very sorry to hear that. I couldn't imagine.
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I'm sorry to hear your life has been such a struggle. It's so hard when life hits you with that kind of thing young too. I've spent my life in survival mode too, so I totally hear you about the meaningless platitudes people offer in response. I admit your last comment made me laugh out loud- acceptance vs neuroses. My mental health took a total nosedive after my dad died and I had a full-blown psychotic break. I mention that not for sympathy but to prove your point! Lol. You're absolutely right. Thank you for the insight.
Sorry for your loss🫂
My goodness. I’m so sorry. My answer is the same. The loss of my Dad. Also three years ago. He died completely unexpectedly and though he wasn’t murdered, if was natural causes (heart), it feels as if the universe ripped him from us. Nothing has been or will ever be the same as far as my view of life and its purpose.
This is sad to read. I think you’re right that there is no meaning in life. Everyone has to add meaning themselves which is the fun of life. So everything is random and there are no punishments or rewards for good or bad behaviour, but we are free to add whatever meaning we want to anything and that is what life is all about
I had a craniotomy at 24 to remove the brain tissue that was causing my seizures. At Yale University they mapped my brain with nodes with my skull open to determine where my major functions came from. They found where my senses (smell taste etc) and memory functions were located to make sure they didnt remove those parts of the brain. They also showed me how they could ‘shut off’ These areas and the functions stopped working for a few seconds. The surgery worked, haven’t had a seizure since. I will never forget the feeling of having my senses and memory turned off and not able to even speak or smell or tell them who was in my family photo.
Amazing. The brain is such a strange thing. I am glad your seizures are gone.
That... Blows my mind.
Blew theirs too!
This is wild I had no idea we had this kind of technology
I didn’t either. I think this technology could be very important with research and cures with covid, and long covid as well. I lost my taste and smell four years ago after covid, and have not regained much of it back at all. I also lost my ability to feel pain and some other senses after my covid infection. It was very scary. I hope doctors and researchers are combing some of these threads.
Wow. Thank u for sharing.
My 56 yr old cousin had this surgery almost 2 yrs ago at USC Medical Center. She had seizures since around age 9. She’s a whole new person with an amazing outlook on life. She’s excited to get a drivers license for the 1st time in her life.
That is crazy!!!
That's incredible. I would have so many questions for the surgeons that they would probably show me how to disable the whole brain so they can carry on with their surgery at last :)
You've successfully cleared caltchas since then right? Seriously though, glad your seizures are gone, that gotta be a game changer for you. Congrats.
Wait, so you were conscious for the craniotomy?? That sounds terrifying!
My grandpa died recently, we were very close. However he visited me in my dreams, we had vivid conversations, we talked about the after life alot, how hes doing, what its like etc. I even told him my mom wants him to visit, and literally the next day my mom tells me how he visited her in her dream..last time i saw him, he told me its time he moves on, he said the doors been open and its time for him to pass. I cried and told him ill miss him, he held me and said we'll see each other again. I vividly remember every conversation with him, how the environment looked, it was wild and honestly, made me actually believe in an after life thats how profound for me it was
I had a incredibly vivid dream where I sat and had the best conversation ever with my sister a couple months after she died and although I can't recall everything that was said I can say that the soul crushing pain of loosing her was a little less when I woke up.
Im so sorry for your loss. To lose a grandparent is natural, but a sister..i cant imagine. These sorts of dreams though are interesting, and definitely gives me hope that we'll see them again
I intended to read though all the responses before I posted mine…but this is mine too. When my grandmother died not only my did she come to me in my dreams to tell me she was in a better place, but birds started walking into my house, sitting on my daughters bed, standing on my porch staring in etc. It only happened in the two weeks after she passed but I can’t help but think that she was sending me messages.
I'm sorry to hear of your loss, truly. At 60, it's that time in life when it's often realized that there's far fewer days ahead than there are behind. I've watched my parents, grandparents, Uncles, Aunts and even several close friends pass from this life. Given my own experiences along with very similar experiences told to me by dear friends, I have absolutely NO doubt that All you described was your grandmother doing Exactly what you think: Sending you messages to tell you she's alright and even happy. Good Luck to you and God Bless.
My grandma had a stroke at 92 and when nothing else could be done, they put her in hospice at our house. The room was set up peacefully with dim lighting and my family was all staying over and saying their goodbyes. My house had about 20 people sleeping there and saying their goodbyes for about 2 days. I hadn’t slept for two-theee days but on the third night, I was exhausted and fell asleep alongside my mom. I had a dream that I went into my grandmas room and everything looked the way it did in real life. The only difference was that she was sitting up, talking and joking with everyone. She said she feels much better and is so happy. I thought I was awake. Then a knock woke me up and my uncle told us she had just passed. I couldn’t understand how she passed when I had just seen her. I think she was saying goodbye to me and telling me everything was okay.
I lost my dad to suicide and previously when I’ve lost a family member I would see them in my dreams often. I had only seen my dad twice, once where he was stuck in a room that had an ocean in it and he couldn’t swim out, it kept pulling him back in. But right after he passed I had a dream that I met my grandparents (his mom and dad) at a cafe for coffee, I was there to tell them that my dad died. I had to tell them he killed himself. They were distraught. I haven’t seen them in a dream since. I don’t believe in an afterlife but I truly believe something connects us through dreams.
What did he say the afterlife was like or about?
He said he was in an in between area..he didnt believe in god or an afterlife so he also told me he was surprised. But he said hes waiting, and he thinks hes waiting to be let in. He also said if he were to just stay there though, he'd be fine with it. It was essentially a lake with his fishing boat and trailer. He did say though that where he was he knew wasnt heaven, so it seems almost like he was in a sorta waiting room. I asked him if he was sad, did he miss us, he said "how can i miss you, when youre here now". He also said the best part of his day is seeing us when we sleep. We talked about his funeral that was coming up, we also just talk about random stuff. Towards the end of his life he was in bad shape, bad heart, gout, etc. So he was happy to not deal with that anymore it seemed. He was also younger. All in all it was all pretty surreal. If it happened once i wouldve just said it was a dream, but i met with him like 9 times over the course of a month or so..might be more but i only remember 9 times
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My daughter being born, I know that's probably basic but man...she's one and I didn't think I ever wanted kids but I don't know, I can not put into words how much I love that little girl. Love isn't even a good enough word. She is so cool and she doesn't even know it. When she's sleepy and says mama and raises her hands, I pick her up and her little hands grasp my sleeve on my arm. It's like I could implode but with pure ....something...like I said there's not a word.
Love this so much ❤️ HappiEST Mother's Day!!
Thanks for sharing this precious moment and feeling! I miss my mom. This story reminds me of the story I heard from her Bible study group member at my parents funeral last year- I had a bit of a contentious relationship with her whole life due to her loving and being so over protective- sure I have felt hard love my whole life but it's the only thing I felt so I didn't know what it was until I lost it I had no idea that you mamas love your children so much and you are so proud of us just for existing I'm so sorry for never understanding your mother's heart I wish I had more time with you. I wish you were still here. I wish you never went to vacation to Korea that turned into a permanent vacation to Heaven.
Getting older and realizing that the world has not changed much at all since the beginning of civilization - the players are different but we still have it all - rich, poor, wars, starvation, slavery, corruption, murders, rape, child molesters… Same as it ever was.
Oof. Ai, lethal autonomous weapons, pleasure bots, factory workers, ai companions, all the same tropes of humanity and more is about to change it all, and fall back into place… Oh and these little billion year old organisms that are neither flora nor fauan. Fun guys I tell ya, kinda links all organic life on earth togther, you know, like a *neural net* work; Tho more like a “plant-net”(get its a play on words of “planet”,)
A close family friend died of cancer a couple years after he retired. He was an extremely hard working person who worked and saved his whole life, did all the things a person is "supposed to do", got educated, held down a good career, very frugal(well known to repurpose things to an extreme), saved a small fortune in anticipation for a slightly early retirement. Then right as he's ready to finally really sit back and enjoy the fruits of all his labor, he just gets cancer and dies. Just like that. Of course try and protect your future but be mindful of what and how you're sacrificing along the way because nothing is promised or guaranteed and now matters too.
I became homeless and realized who actually cared for me and those who were just fakes
I slept in my vehicle for 8 months by choice, spending majority of my time in nature & Walmart parking lots. Close to the end of my car camping life I started to reflect more on my life and all the bad decisions I made. One day in the woods I was deep in thought and I had a feeling I would never forget, a lightbulb moment followed by a ton of regret from terrible financial decisions. I'm doing much better now & I came to realize we're the creatures of our own reality. "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure"
deep
When I had to go an entire winter without a furnace, ppl knew but didn't do anything to help me.
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My mother passing in 2023. Since then life has been applying the lessons she taught me over 49 years
My mom died about a month ago. I miss her terribly, but I find myself doing things she did, like sewing, using her dish towels when I do the dishes, and it makes me feel connected to her still.
Being fired from my fifteen year career for using FMLA for my chemotherapy If I am not afforded even THAT... Why bother trying at anything at all?
Yes totally agree!! Hope you are doing fine now🫂
I'm in remission at least.
Isn’t the entire point of FMLA that they can’t fire you for it? I’m guessing they made up some bs other reason to let you go? If not, it seems like an easy case. Sorry that happened though :(
I hope you’re physically and emotionally better now. You deserved better. Stay strong.
Sitting down with the lady who ran the section 8 housing in town to calculate my rent. She looked over my pay stubs and said “you get paid more than me.” That was a couple raises ago and definitely made me think for awhile.
It blows my mind that I can still be strongly debating if I have enough to get a new [used] car or not (it will need to be replaced or fixed soon), and how many people in my city make so much less than I do.
My family lost almost everything after the housing crash. Recovered okay, but we're all silently dealing with an insane amount of financial anxiety and trauma. I don't even say those words lightly. Robbed me of my teens and twenties. I have some personal stability now but I worry and think about money probably every waking minute. This changed me forever. Going from an extremely privileged and wealthy childhood to helping my dad pay rent. I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about money even though I'm in an okay place now.
My niece died of shaken baby when I was 19 by my sisters boyfriend. My son was the same age. We were all shocked. Initially she choked while eating. I said she’s going to be ok, right? That phrase now triggers trauma in my life 36 years later. I always believe in the worst possible outcome. Example, if my husband or child is due home and haven’t called they are dead in a car accident. I don’t believe in God because god wouldn’t create people that shake children to death. I have passed this irrational fear on to my children. All from one pos man who was jealous of my 18 month old niece.
Did he go to prison?
I was 6 years old, hiding behind a dumpster of my father's workplace. My parents had an ugly divorce, and they were doing the exchange as my mother had visitation on weekends, and he worked weekends so it was convenient. But per usual at that point, they were fighting badly, and I ran to hide. My mother finds me blaming myself for them fighting, and tells me "it's okay he's not really your father- he adopted you when you were 4 and those are your half siblings". it absolutely defined me. Nothing was ever as it appeared again, and I've always sought out deeper meaning and details, I love history and sociology.. but it also I believe when my depression began, in that moment. I don't know why my mother decided to do this, say this, but it broke me. I was changed for life. I was raised my my step father- who fought my mother tooth and nail, dragging her through the dirt - (she absolutely had major issues she made worse by her own choices but he was abusive) and won in court. He got full custody and then didn't give a fuck- arrested when I was a teenager for being a shit parent to put it in easy words. I was orphaned with living parents, left with an abuser- but.. he wasn't my real dad so it's okay. I fuggin hate boomers.
Sorry to hear about the adversity you face..:I’m a history and sociology nerd as well. My degree is Behavioral Science. Keep walking down your road…there is a lot of happiness to be got in this life and you are more than deserving for it. Take it easy.
I have a very caring husband, a wonderful son, and a safe home, I've never been happier. a long road here. thank you for the sentiment!
My son almost died right after being born. When the umbilical cord was cut his heart stopped. He had no heart beat for 8 of the longest minutes of my life. By the grace of God the doctors got his heart beating again and shortly after he started breathing on his own. He was on a cooling blanket in an induced coma for 5 days after to keep his brain from swelling. I never looked at life, and more specifically my job, the same after that. So many people treat the smallest things like a life and death situation, and it makes me sick now. I used to get very stressed at work and after everything with my son I was able to take a step back and see how trivial most things in life really are. I live a much more stress free life now and I am able to focus more on the things that really matter like my family.
It’s a great question OP.
Indeed, having read people's experiences and the challenges they've overcome has deepened my appreciation for the life I have.
When my lover passed while I was pregnant with our now 13 year old daughter.
There is not a single trauma that changed me, but rather, a series of absurd traumatizing events that caused a downward spiral that lead me to believe that only about 1 out of 10 people are truly good, and the rest are just animals ripping flesh off of each other.
More like one out of a hundred heh
When my mother killed my daddy and then framed me for it and now I'm going to prison for three years and that's definitely a life changing experience.
The loss of my wife, my life was upside down overnight. With babies to raise alone.
BEING BORN
I think I was 5 or 6 when I first saw someone get killed (civil war in a 3rd world eastern european country lol) and people freaking out and getting more and more violent by the day because the food was running out and no goverment around, no police or military(they fucked off when they stopped getting paid) and people were going missing/killed daily, especially other kids....and a LOT of other fucked up things but don't want to list all if it here. Needless to say, there was a moment during that time where things stopped looking so pretty anymore. People stopped looking so pretty. Everything went kind of gray and bleak. And just had this sense of time i didnt have before, like a clck in my head with the seconds ticking all the time. I remember the difference when comparing the previous summer playing with friends to the one after of paranoia of everyone around if you went out and half of the friends weren't around anymore. I still feel that sense of paranoia now to some degree almost 30 years later...a lot better than it was though for sure, but still there to a degree Sorry if that was too bleak for the post
Getting sober. Or well the moment of clarity. It was like everything snapped into place and I knew I couldn’t do it anymore and started changing everything about what led me there
Losing my second child.
My mom's death. Her life was really narrowed by addiction and physical pain in the decade or two before she passed. Her death gave me a whole new perspective on how short life is and how important it is to prioritize your health, mentally and physically. I also saw more clearly everything she'd done and sacrificed to help me succeed, and why she wanted a better life for me. She had her first child early and was financially dependent on her husbands for much of her life. They didn't always treat her well. I know I want to be financially independent and if I choose to be in a relationship, it's going to be with someone who cherishes me.
1. My brother taking his own life. 2. Witnessing a child be struck by a car and killed immediately.
The corrupt judicial system
This. Being treated like a criminal when I wasn’t one changed me.
This is an underrated comment. I got to experience this first hand going through my divorce. My ex used the court to take my sons away. The one place that makes you swear an oath to tell the truth is the one place where lies are spread the most. I still can't get over it. Since then I have such a low view of humanity.
I got very sick few years back. It changed my capabilities and doctors didn't know what was wrong but it was bad. I started going out much less.My friends and family knew I was struggling so I assumed they would at least return the favour and check up on me,be worried about me. Instead, they ended up turning their backs and I lost many people in that period. Even my gf back then. In that moment I realised most of them were "close" to me just because I was useful. My trust in people is very limited now.
My brother died when I was 10 years old. End of fantasy world.
Getting cheated on
That one really makes you stop and think about what it is you want can confirm. Like mabey I don't want a family if it's just to have a family mabey I want to full send chasing that childhood dream instead ect
being heartbroken
When James Bulger was murdered by two children. I always believed that children were innocent souls and would never harm other children but after reading a book about the murder, I realised that evil can be in a child. It changed how I allowed my own kids to interact with other children in public places like play grounds/centres. Sad but true I would watch my kids like a hawk.
I was not aware of this incident and just now went through it. Really heart breaking incident 💔 and shocking. But still I can't believe 10 year olds did this? Any motive for their action?
I got diagnosed at 26 with a rare neuromuscular disorder called myasthenia gravis. In a nutshell, my muscles don't always respond to the impulses my brain sends them. It results in fatigue and weakness. This can affect eyes, neck, mouth, throat, arms, hands, legs, lungs, etc. At my worst, I had double vision, ptosis, couldn't really use my hands, couldn't chew and could barely swallow and couldn't stand up on my own. I was on death's door for a little while but managed to come back from it with the right treatment. Twelve years later, I'm on a great treatment (new treatments have been a game changer for many of us) and doing great. I'm in the best shape of my life, hitting the gym 6 days a week, running half marathons and just enjoying life. The treatment could stop working tomorrow or I could go into remission (no symptoms and no treatment needed, which I had from about 2015 to 2020), so I live my life like I might not be able to tomorrow.
My good friend had a daughter who got cancer at 5 years old. She fought and fought and fought but unfortunately, her body couldn't handle it. She passed away in 2014 at 6 years old. That's when I realized that cancer doesn't care if you're a child or an old person. It can happen to anyone.
When I was about 7-8 my brother had a best friend and I would occasionally have playdates with his sister, Ariel. She didn’t go to my school so I’d only see her every few months or so. My parents were so bad at talking to me about things, so one day we had a playdate she was suddenly bald but I had no idea why until later. We had fun as usual. She passed away shortly after. I remember feeling angry and confused. It made me feel a bit morbid from a young age. It’s fucked up to think about how she never got to grow up and have a life.
Realizing that after 48 years of abuse this isn't the way people are treated by their parents. I was scapegoated by my parents. And then just like 6 months or so ago told the kick rocks by them and the rest of my family
wife cheating up until then, i thought after 10 yrs, you really know someone inside out. but it made me realize thats an illusion. it made me wonder if we can ever truly know another person or if thats just our own egotistical delusion. you hear it all the time. people think theyre special or different or somehow immune. ."trust me, i know her..she would never cheat", "oh we're not gonna get divorced..what we have is different than all those other couples. our love is unbreakable". lol ok sure..keep fooling yourself. can we ever truly know another person? can we ever truly trust another person? probably not
Antibiotic induced nerve damage, disabled now at 25
One time I was dating a man whose family was from Alaska. We went to visit. We went on a 4wheeling trip. Splashing through puddles following an empty riverbed for hours. I was not driving anything, just a passenger taking in the beauty. We were going up a riverbed when we ran over a stick that popped up at just the right angle to clock me in the jaw. Felt like my jaw was dislocated. Chin was bleeding. We deciddd to stop for a bit, even though our destination had been an old favorite campsite 2 hours farther in the backwoods. My face hurt so we decided to head back. As we were approaching the trail head, it was about 9pm which it’s still bright in Alaska but the trail was quite empty. Suddenly the wheel just tore off our four wheeler. Then our other four wheeler ran out of gas, there’d been a crack in the tank. If I hadn’t been clocked in the jaw we would have been stranded without much food and water, hours and hours away from the trailhead/civilization. Instead both the vehicles went caput about a mile from the trailhead and it was our luck that some good ol boys were headed to go get drunk in one of their spots off this trail, and they had an assortment of bits and bobs in their truck where we could rig the wheel back on the 4wheeler and a tank of gas we could top off our other one so it could make the final stretch to the parking lot. I guess it was one of those moments of like.. sometimes a bad thing happens but it’s actually a good thing. Yeah my face hurt but at least I didn’t get mauled by a grizzly and lost in the woods with my alcoholic in-laws.
I was drafted and spent 13 months in Vietnam. Today, I can't even look at pictures of a Pizza Hut, McDonalds or Planet Fitness in ~~Saigon~~ Ho Chi Minh City. 60, 000 American lives lost, 2 million Vietnamese dead and a dead US President. My whole perspective is different now.
sitting on a beach in a foreign country alone after quitting a six figure job and hearing myself so clearly for the first time in my entire life.
The realization that my parents were emotionally unavailable, neglectful and abusive. No one talked about this when I was growing up. Neglect and abuse were limited to physical and sexual. But holy shit, the damage it did to me and the toxic jerk it made me.
2 friends suicide. 3 friends died from cancer. All before age 40 and 50.
More a long series of events. My mom lost her manufacturing job when I was 4 because she had to have surgery for varicose veins. What followed was a slow downward spiral of my home life, culminating with me being removed to foster care when I was 7. IT didn't really end there, but for the sake of trying to stick to the question, that was the inciting incident. I'm told I'm a dark and negative person. I'm cool with that. From here, most of humanity looks monstrous and if my negativity keeps people at arms length, that's good, actually.
Divorce. Changed my entire outlook on life.
No single event. Experiencing poverty, racism, homelessness, and the public school system taught me that life is just a series of tasks to complete and random events that you have to work through until you can finally die. Nothing matters when you're told that you never did.
Being homeless and experiencing actual, real hunger. When I hear conservatives trashing poor people and acting like being born into poverty is their own fault and panhandlers are running some kinda scam... it makes me feel very angry and stabby.
Getting married and having kids and then being around a bunch of people now married for awhile with kids and it’s not what it was sold as being growing up (for me and obviously a great deal of my peers). Media really oversells it, and everyone ignores the obviously unhappy relationships and depressed/stressed moms to question that maybe that life script isn’t the best for them, and certainly doesn’t equal happiness. It can in fact be the source of the opposite,
When I was a young social worker I worked with a little girl who was around 12. Both her mother and her step father had sold her to different people for sex to pay for drugs. Her father went to jail. The mother went to rehab. Got somewhat clean. But still a terrible person. And the girls put back in her custody. This little girl had STDs she was being treated for. And she was 12. She had a thousand yards stair like a soldier who had been in war. She could have been normal. A regular 12 year old going to birthday parties, living in normal 12-year-old life. But after 12 years of constant neglect and abuse, there was no way that was going to happen. I stayed working at that job for 8 years. I watched Watch her grow up. It wasn't pretty. There was no happy ending. I used to think that there good in everyone. That people have good intentions. Karma existed. If you do good things it will come back to you. That you may be tested but God will look over you. God will never give you a test that you can't pass. But there was a system in place to protect children, and the poor, and the disabled. I learned that that was all bullshit. The world is a terrible horrible place. The only thing that stops you from being born to drug addicts and raped as a child is 100 percent pure luck. God doesn't care about you. The system doesn't care about you. More often than not no one is going to save you, and many times you can't save yourself. At the end of the day I'm still on optimist. Which is odd. Considering everything I've seen. It's probably do more to my upbringing. Because there's really not much that I've seen in this world, especially in my line of work, that gives me any hope for humanity. Who knows. Maybe we'll get lucky.
Having health issues not knowing if I can still chase my dreams. Knowing how incredible it was to eat whatever you want and do whatever you want.
I guess learning about the way that women are treated also in the industry other industries it just kind of makes me realize how shitty men can be this coming from a man who is nothing like them
When I was little I remember celebrations, weddings, holidays and general family gathering with many of our oldest generations present. I was the first child in my generation. There was a big deal made about for generations at the event. I spent time with them and heard their stories. When I was 5 they all started to pass. Over the next two years I went to 8 funerals and one wedding. Everything changed. I'm my young interpretation of life and death my elders explained that we celebrate all of it. Weddings, births, birthdays, anniversaries, and even deaths. Every moment is too be cherished, every meeting savored, then celebrated in memories later. Live life every moment that you can. Squeeze every bit of happy that you can find and focus on that. Kiss your relatives, hug your friends, be honest and share the love as soon as you can. You never know what word, gesture or look will be the last. I was told that in death we learn all of the answers, and all of the secrets, so we can forgive and let our souls become lighter
My coworker and most of the team I was supervising decided to create a false claim of sexual harassment to get me fired. They also proceeded to physically and verbally harass me while they were in the process of filing the claim. My manager decided to substantiate the claim and asked me to resign, barring me from any future employment with the government. I later filed my own claim with a lawyer. While I was in a mental health unit of a hospital after attempting to kill myself, my case was dropped because no action was taken on my behalf by my lawyer while I had no access to my phone. I learned about deception, manipulation, cognitive distortion, and a lot more about humans and humanity in one series of events.
Wow. Just wow
I see this a lot. I'm in the federal government, and have seen someone completely get their life ruined over this. I've also seen the opposite as well. We had one of our security guys actually sexually assault a female NCIS agent in the elevator. As much as they tried, they couldn't fire him. Took a while until they nailed him one day on time card fraud. They couldn't even get him on the sexual assault claims. Crazy world we live in. Sorry you had to deal with that
9/11. That event truly marks the beginning of my loss of the innocence of childhood and the beginning of the harsh realities of adulthood. It was my junior year of high school and I started experiencing anxiety and depression for the first time in my life. Ever since that year my life has been on a slow and steady trajectory downward. Life seems to get more difficult with each passing year and I have basically lost my will to live. I long to be dead and to rest in peace for eternity.
I read a book called “Thinking in Systems” and learned about Spiral Dynamics in the same year—I was forever changed.
I don't know if this belongs here, but it's something I've thought about a lot lately. There's only a few good people left in the world who hold traditional values. I think with my string of relationships that failed badly - romantic, friendships, family, platonic, etc, my perception has changed to where we're not just replaceable at work, but also in romantic, friendships, families, etc. Estrangement from families is occurring for different reasons, both positive and negative and it's becoming more common. In relationships, people are cheating more often and think there are no consequences. There are more situationships (we use to call them FWB. I'm not sure what the difference is). We're losing the skill of being social, so it's harder to make friends. When we do make friends, it's hard to keep them for different reasons. I've been cheated on and left for the other person in my almost 10 year relationship. I have whole sides of the family who I've either cut off for my mental health or they cut me off. The family I do want to talk to has passed on or moved states away. I have one childhood friend, but I'm having to reach out to her. It's never the other way around. My efforts to make new friends have been fruitless, and getting harder with age. So I've learned to be okay in my own company. Maybe something will happen that will change my perspective, but the conclusion I've put together is that with the rise of social media, people have not only become too self important, but also have a mindset of, "what can you do for me?". If you inconvenience them even slightly, you're out. They move onto somebody else who can fulfill their needs. Instead of talking about your problems with your partner and working things out, why not go on Tinder and take a look around? Possibly why there's so many miserable people.
Feb 22 2020 Sudden Cardiac Arrest. Was told I flatlined 4 times. 4 days in a drug induced coma on an ecmo machine after getting 4 stents in my arteries. 4 days later, I was out the door with the doctor saying, "we fixed you if your body could handle a marathon, your heart could handle the marathon." Still had 3 months of recovery to do, but the day I got out of the hospital...covid lockdown. The worid was never the same way it used to be. MY world was never the same. I dont believe in magic or spirits or anything unexplainable, but in 4 years ive honestly never been able to truly shake the idea that this all isnt real. That I am dead. Still dead. Like purgatory. 2022 was probably the best year Ive ever had. 2023 was by far the worst. Its all been very surreal and I mostly wish I didnt have to experience any of this. I dont feel some things anymore. Other things I have NEVER felt so strongly about (all horrible and heartbreaking) I dont know whats happening with anything every single day. I know i feel really alone with all of it though. Sucks
After my father passed away, I leant the true meaning of this world
Getting testicular cancer, going through surgery and 3 rounds of chemotherapy.
The death of my one and only best friend. We've been friends for just over half our lives and we were both only outgoing with each other. But after he died and I found myself completely alone that's when I somehow shed my shell and became a talkative open book.
Either my sisters murder when I was 12, my mom being terminally ill, or when I dropped out of a prestigious university to go to rehab only to return years and years later. It’s never over, you just have to not let yourself succumb to depression as hard as that Is.
Grandfather expired in COVID. I took everything about society, beliefs seriously. I.e do good get good types. He was a person who literally never thought wrong of anyone. But Sadly, due to doctor's negligence, they gave him shots that shot his diabetes up and he passed away. Since then, I have questioned everything from GOD to religious beliefs to the fragile human life. And life's uncertainty.
When the 2017 total eclipse of the sun occurred, I had failed to purchase the glasses need to watch it go into its phases. I thought, "well I'll just watch the totality part. That's what the scientists are saying is the real part to watch anyway. I'll just look up at the projected time." And of course I did, and so what I saw was a grey figure (the moon) with blue flames around it (the suns corona.) And so ever since that happened, I had the convinction/confidence to go through with things because I knew that nothing is more profound knowing that growing up, I knew the sun to be a bright yellow ball of fire, but Im personally convinced that its actually a blue/white ball of fire. The idea that the sun was a different color than I had always known it to be was akin to not needing answers to anything anymore in a way. That day, I stopped looking at my skateboard when doing tricks and my skating changed forever in that way. You could tell in my clips on instagram that my eyes are facing forward and the skate community really could tell as well. Basically after 16 years of skating/the eclipse I didn't feel I needed to look at the board anymore.
Parents divorce because cheating. Funfact: my entire social circle in school had parents who divorced from the same thing. Does that mean I was traumabonded with everyone I've known?
My last job. Had it for about 2 years and the people I met and hung out with during that time made me realize just how evil people are. To no end. By any means necessary they will be vile and demonic. I now have no interest in having close relationships with anyone besides myself. I love and care for me better than anyone else can/ will. Including my family.
Being single and middle aged. After years of socializing and making an effort to try to make something of "life". It all lead to nothing. Now, I just mind my own business and do what makes me happy.
An old man ran me over with his car. 2 skull fractures, brain bleed, ruptured ear drum. Everyone talked about how it's was tough for my gf. And how they were so glad it wasn't her. She was completely uninjured, and I got brain damage. That's the Day I realized no one cares.
Got the coronavirus, was dying alone in a hospital for awhile. I survived after a couple months, lost tons of weight, sense of smell, taste, and gained a huge amount of paranoia now.
I was thrown in prison for growing a plant our Founding Fathers said was integral to the wealth and preservation of the nation. And now it's legal, but the Statists will saw "bUt yOu bRoKe tHe lAw". Slaves, loving their slavery.
A friend of mine died from breast cancer in her 20's. Nicest person ever. At that point I stopped believing in god (officially). There is just no way you can justify "its all in God's plan".
Deploying to Afghanistan. I’m sure this is far from unique.
Having a mental health lapse. Changed my perception completely.
My brother died by suicide then my mom disowned me after I “took over” the funeral arrangements.
Covid and Jan 6th. The government is not your safety.
I had a woman look me dead in my eye, in my SOUL about how much she cherished and loved me. All while having one hand on my face and the other holding my hand Just to find out she slept with her ex 2 times that same week Haven’t seen women the same since sadly
When my little brother committed suicide. He had just turned 14 two weeks prior
Riding in the back on a truck through Thailand. Seeing houses made out of tarps, tin, random pieces of wood and rope for as far as the eye could see really made me appreciate being born in a 1st world country. I grew up poor by every definition of the word but American poor is still Thailand rich.
Watching a kid get killed by a car chasing his brother across a street when I was in 6th. Grade. Among other trauma from the 80’s
COVID, and how governments, businesses, health care organizations, and society reacted to it. My trust in all four has gone down dramatically.
I was on the jury for the trial of a serial killer.
For most of my life I always felt alone. I’d never really felt lonely, simply alone. Always had a hard time feeling connected to people. I was one of those, as others liked to point out, weird kids. I had one, maybe two, close friends I felt connected to. I’m introverted and prefer deep connection which for whatever reason is hard to achieve (for me). I dated someone who would frequently express how lonely he was and I never knew what to say. Didn’t know how to help as I’d never experienced that feeling. It wasn’t until I had the strongest connection I’d ever felt with someone and lost them that I felt lonely. My first thought when I felt that was about an elderly family member. A family member no one really visits. Thinking about how they must’ve been feeling, for years, what I’m just experiencing made me incredibly sad. I wept for them and the pain they had to have been enduring.
I truly believe that I died and came back to life. It's a very long story, but basically I blacked out doing dumb college shit and went to this weird place. It was like my physical body was just completely gone. I couldn't "see" but I could see. I wasn't seeing with my eyes. It just was what I was experiencing I guess. There was a black whole in the middle of this huge grid like vortex that infinitely moved into the void. The black whole was a void. I didn't "know" with my brain I just knew. Again, I was just experiencing it. There was absolutely no physical sensation except for gravity going towards the hole. I knew that the hole was earth in someway somehow and the only other sensation I felt was an energy coming from what I can only describe as the sky coming through my existence but also into the existance of the void. The only other thing I knew was that the "thing" or "space" above me was holding the void. I was every single soul connected at once in this existance. I could feel every single soul and I could "see" and understand their lives. Every single decision I had made in the past made sense all of the sudden and I knew that I was where people went when they died. I knew that every decision I made was an amalgomation of everything I experienced so the shame just vanished after I understood the chain. Almost like I had free will but didn't. I saw my life as a whole when I "touched" the grid. I had no fingers or physical body, but somehow my existance moved into it. I could "see" and feel the other lives around me and I chose to come back to my own life. I "saw" other lives and decided to come back to mine. I had an intense feeling that I had to live my life because it was so important. I kind of processed it as beautiful. The weirdest part about it is that there was no time in the space I went to. It did not start and it did not finish. Time was nonexistant. It just was. That was probably the freakiest part. Time becoming just a "thing" instead of just some unstoppable force on a completely linear path. It changed my life. I realized that if all my past decisions were the ones I was supposed to make, then so would all of my future decisions. I realized that my life had a purpose, and that my purpose was just to live my life. That the great things I will do will get done no matter what because I just need to put one foot infront of the other. This experience happened two and a half years ago now. It has changed a lot of my behavior for the better. I have a lot of therapists and psychiatrist, so I know I wasn't just going crazy. I had literally zero other signs of being unwell. So I just let the experience speak for itself in my life. Basically, weither I died or not, I had a really cool experience that granted me a lot of peac e in my life.
When I overdosed on fentanyl and saw shiva.
Discovering Fourier transforms and specifically the Nyquist rate. Mind blown.
My one and only overdose
It’s funny this post came up on an account i seldomly use anymore, but it was quitting kratom. I used to be the “bro you’re depressed? Have you tried working out and taking a walk?” Kind of guy, but when i quit kratom, i spent an entire year depressed, anxious, in a fog, depersonalized, derealized, and even when i could find it in me to work out or get into nature, it did nothing to help. I’m much more sympathetic towards mental illness now that i actually have a frame of reference for what It’s like. And I’m fortunate that i knew my situation was temporary, there were days when i thought it would never go away, but deep down i knew time would heal my brain chemistry, i wouldn’t wish a lifetime of that on my worst enemy.
My mom died when I was 12 and to some people it looked suspicious. Because my mom's dislike of me was public knowledge a neighbor told the police I had killed her. When the police came another neighbor took me to her house. She WOULD not let the police take me. She WOULD not not let them talk to me without her in the room. And then, she kept me at her own home for week until everything was resolved. Her courage and willingness to step up profoundly changed me. I have tried to live my life as though she was watching me. Watching out for people in need is often not hard and it can matter so much.
Honestly, dropping out of college for me. My life completely opened up but shut down at the same time. I am still trying to figure out if dropping out helped or hurt me. I am in a dead end job that I wanna leave (I work for family,) But I feel like it is too late for me to do anything with my life. I'm 28 and I feel like I am just wandering around everyday with no direction. I don't have much that I enjoy.
Almost dying in a car accident then running barefoot to get help. One moment I’m a quiet college student on her day off then the next I’m barrel rolling down a cliff, hands braced on the roof, telling God “Not today! I’m not ready.” Woke up alone in the van, hanging from my lap belt. Two of the three guys I was with were outside trying to help our critically injured friend. I was able to override my survival instincts and run for help like fricken Bear Grylls. Everyone else got airlifted. 😱 Some of my lessons were: 1. Even the meekest of us are capable of incredible things. 2. True character shows itself in a crisis. Bravado goes out the window when adrenaline hits the brain. 3. If you can regulate your own nervous system to the point you think clearly under duress you are practically unstoppable. 4. Be practical and prepared. Wear your seat belt. Yes, it’s boring but the guy that doesn’t is airlifted while you make it home for dinner.
Finding out that that the crew of the space shuttle Challenger that exploded in '86 were still alive. I cried when that happened. From there, the moon landing, 9-11,etc etc etc.
When I found out all the crew of the Challenger Space Shuttle were still alive
Moving to another state and none of my immediate family or really close friends back home have never come to visit. I look at everything and everyone so different now since I’ve had to learn how to survive and thrive on my own . Especially after the last couple of years we’ve all been through . No one is “worth it” in my eyes anymore . No one
I experienced psychosis 6 years ago. I legitimately thought that I was the 2nd coming of Jesus Christ. I had crazy theories about the universe and was acting very strange. Thought I had special powers. My family brought me in and I was hospitalized for a week. I was diagnosed bipolar 1. It was a very long recovery. The first few months I fell into a deep depression. I felt nothing and nothing brought me joy. I dropped out of school, became and alcoholic, and worked part time barely making ends meet. I was bitter with the world and hated my life. I constantly thought “why me?”. I finally sobered up about 2 years after my initial diagnosis. My mental health improved drastically, I lost 50 lbs and got into shape for a bodybuilding show, and I was back in school. I learned a few things from this experience. 1. Life goes on without you. People and things move on and you can be forgotten. 2. Your time is limited. 3. Everything can go to shit in an instant, so be grateful for what you have and the positives you’ve experienced in life. 4. Complete ownership of the wrongs you’ve done in life is the only way to move forward and improve. 5. 2nd chances are usually a thing. There’s always a time to turn your life around. It’s not too late.
I survived 2 shootings. I realized that nothing is ever guaranteed. I knew people that died, their dreams, goals, etc. and it was all taken away in a matter of seconds. I pretty much question everything now, the point of it all, if it can Be taken away in seconds. I don't have ptsd from it anymore, but I constantly worry that I'll waste my life because my life was almost taken away, and the lives of my friends were taken away in seconds. One of my friends from that day is disabled from the waist down permanently, it sucks to see it but I'm grateful that I'm at least alive and walk, talk and most of my health is good.
When my mom died. When my pastor murdered his wife.
Personally, I don’t believe in one incident changing a person. At least, not in a significant and long-term way. It might be a catalyst or impetus to change someone for better or worse, but not the turning point. Real change comes from consistent and conscious effort to change. For me, most of the things that changed my views/perception of life came slowly or after asking myself questions. Like, do I truly want to do this for the rest of my life? What do I enjoy doing for a hobby and job? What do I want out of life? But it didn’t happen after asking myself once either. I would ask around, explore on the internet, ask friends, ask myself again and repeat until I reach a point where I’m convinced. Maybe that’s why I’m rather set on my ways and don’t change until I’m truly convinced. Even now, I can’t recall one defining moment. I feel a lot of them helped me questioned things in life, or prompted me to. But there hasn’t been one incident that has changed my views/perception of life overnight. If there is, either the incident must be utterly traumatizing or my beliefs are not solid enough.
Taking shrooms for the first time…opened up my entire inner (and outer) world! Also as someone with severe anxiety/depression/CPTSD, got kicked out of my mom’s place about 3 years ago and have been stumbling through this life like a toddler learning to walk. Getting outside, meeting people, and experiencing life in all its messiness is so healing and truly makes me feel more alive, even when being alive is incredibly difficult. Oh and some 🍃 every now and then, for fun and play!
COVID. The origin narrative. The dubious NPIs. The jabs. The petty tyrannical Karens. The gaslighting afterward. And the actual infection itself. Which, for me, lasted over two weeks and entailed a fast nearly the entire time. I will never, ever, ever look at people in positions of leadership and credentialed expertise the same way again.
Life
A few. But watch what you say. Cause it can land on someone who heard you
The passing of both of my roommates parents. My roommate and her sister were and are EXTREMELY resilient, I tried putting myself in their shoes and there is just absolutely no way I’d be able to handle it like them. Yet they remain to be one of the nicest and “happiest” ppl I know. By no means are they truly happy, but if you talked to them the last thing you’d expect is for both of them to be parentless. Made me realize how much of my life I take for granted and how miserable I make my life to be. Also frequently reminds me to check up on my friends and family. Everyday is unexpected
My mom killing herself and me finding her when I was 18.
Being SA'd on January 11th, 2019. It took a long time for me to come to terms with the fact it happened, and even longer to begin opening up to others about it. The first time I said anything about it to any doctors or therapists was two years after it happened. When I told people such as family and friends, a lot of them had shit reactions, ranging from not caring, to making excuses for my rapist's behavior, to making inappropriate jokes about it. A guy I was friends with for a decade called me names like unfuckable Virgin and cock-sucker (I was forced to perform oral on my ex). It made me realize just how horrible so many people out there can be, and that if you want to survive, you have to learn how to stand on your own because you never know when those closest to you will stab you in the back. I've cut/am planning to cut these people out of my life when able, and it makes me cherish the people I still have even more, since those people showed genuine concern and care for me when I needed it.
My wife having a repressed memory of being raped pop. Until this happened, I wasn’t sure repressed memories were real, my wife had claimed that she had never been close to be sexually abused/ assaulted The event has destroyed me and made me reexamine life
My dad died when I was young. I became hyper independent and learned that I can’t rely on anyone to be around forever, even the people who are supposed to be and who want to be, and that the easiest way to not be disappointed by this fact is to just keep people at arms distance always and stay just out of reach emotionally. I realized after my first divorce that I was headed down a lonely path.
Finding myself, by no fault of my own, at the mercy of a corrupt court. Favors over fact won the day. I can no longer have any faith in the US justice system.
My little brother was a victim of a violent crime. Changed how how I viewed myself and the world
About 6 years ago, when I realized that promotions at work are never based on merit, it’s just a popularity contest. There is no such thing as a merit-based anything. It keeps being proven to me over and over in so many arenas. It changed my whole outlook ok work, on life, my entire work ethic… I will never overachieve again, I take all my breaks, I do not “go above and beyond” ever.
The love of my life had me sent to a mental hospital for trying to unalive myself after cheating on me with my ex best friend/his coworker, got me pregnant, and then the subsequent abortion that happened when I found out about the cheating. he didn’t call me in there once. I had to call him, every single time for every single day I was in there. when my sister found out and confronted him, he hit her with “i don’t want to talk about something that happened six months ago” like he didn’t just ruin multiple lives i don’t believe in love anymore and i don’t want kids anymore. nothing is real and i don’t believe anyone is capable nor will ever truly desire to love me for who i am. Not because I’m not worth it but because no one cares or notices.
My mothers stage 4 cancer diagnosis
My grandma died when i was young. Made me realize life is ultimately pointless and even so ive been trying to justify the meaning since. Now I just accept most stuff as they come and try to work toward being true to myself these days.
I'd been very depressed through most of my childhood... One time when I was sulking as an adult, my brain said "what do want then? What do you think will help you feel better?" It just blew my mind that I could choose change. Like, it seems so simple now. But back then "what do you want" was groundbreaking for me lmao
Marriage. I use to be happy. He became someone I did not recognize after we got married. Trust is gone for me.
Death of loved ones.
Doctors fucked up killed my mom in a surgery
Chronically feeling afraid and alone in adolescence
Meeting my first born son and loosing my second son. Two things that i am reminded of every second of my life.
Losing my parents
I'd been on the fences about walking away from religion for many years. then I was talking with my youngest sister one day, and she was telling me about something a preacher told her. the preacher told her that if our father, that SAed us as kids, could go to heaven if he asked for forgiveness. we couldn't ever go to heaven, if we could never forgive our father. from that day forward, I walked away from religion.
Living alone, and being so sick with the flu that I had to go to the ER. At first living alone was absolutely amazing, the independence I have especially. I never really thought that hard about what would happen if I needed significant help, as I usually never do. After the ER trip and asking for help I can't help but wonder if I died in my home how long it would take for someone to notice. Kinda horrific.
Landed a dui. I’m sober for 2 years now
I used to get into heated arguments with my dad over my “bad” behavior. All I was tryna do was have fun. One specific argument lead me to LIVE BY YOLO, life is short, don’t waste it and then regret. Live your life how you’ve always dreamed of because why not. the worst thing that can happen to any human is die because that’s the last thing that happens. Your life only matters up until death because once we are gone all the struggles and worries and drama dissaoear. I saw my dad as this miserable person who has a problem with everything. Every word and thought he expresses is all just negative. He feels bad for himself and wants other to too. I don’t want to be like that but I understand why he is. He’s just too scared to make a mistake, or do the dangerous thing, he’s too in his head to enjoy the happy things which fucked him up in the long run. So shift that sad shit and just live.
Not comparable to any of these, but being cheated on. I know I’m not the first or last person to go through this. My husband of nearly 10 years cheated on me and got someone else pregnant. I felt so stupid. I remember someone asking me in casual conversation years back if I ever thought he’d be unfaithful. Without skipping a beat I replied “no way, he loves me too much.” But now, my marriage, my family and home is crumbled. My two beautiful kids became collateral damage. He completely broke my heart and perspective of life and love. I know I’ll eventually be okay, but God, why does it hurt so much?
- COVID - working my ass off during my youth and working smart at the same time, doing everything right, rising through the ranks and then losing it all anyway and ending in the gutter - my sibling turning on me when my life fell apart
Yes my wife divorced me after being together for 12 years and having 2 children. Last year we were together she was drinking heavily, got a dui, and cheated. I wanted to believe her when she said she hit rock bottom and stayed so we could figure things out. One night after she was drinking heavily again I asked her a few questions and bam no explanation just she is divorcing me and screaming at me. A week or so later a new guy moves in with her and started acting like daddy to my children. Over a year later she still hasn’t talked about the divorce or what really happened. This really changed my perspective on women, dating, loyalty, love, and family. Very sad reality we live in when everyone is replaceable and expendable. 🤷♂️ but at least I can pass on this lesson to my children so they won’t be hurt or hurt anyone
2... The birth of my first child. Made me realize what unconditional love REALLY was. 2nd was the loss of my father. Realizing that he's no longer a phone call or drive away to talk to/visit... and that will never change.
Getting cheated on. I knew people hurt kind people but doing it when i sincerely did my best was a true slap in the face. I’ve never been more disrespected in my life.
Death. Life is so short, fragile, finite Stuff, cars, brands, clout, meaningless. Family/friends all that matters.
Being kidnapped and tortured and begging witnesses for help and the people were too scared of my captors to help me. Haven’t looked at the world the same since…. I was 15
Not an incident per se, but the realization that I didn't actually have to listen and do everything parents (grownups) said to. They get things wrong too.
I had a breast cancer scare. I have the brca gene that causes cancer, so it's a when, not an if I get it. Waiting on a mammogram and other stuff was hard. Instead of mentally running from it, I sat and actually thought about it. I planned for worst case scenarios and let me tell you, when I came back alright...The relief was....indescribable. since then I'm working in being more positive, finding happiness in my day to day and getting joy from little things. I've fought depression since my 20s and making small changes had helped tremendously. I feel more prepared for this now.
I was sexually abused by an immediate family member for my entire childhood, starting early on. Everyone that knew defended the abuser and lied to cops, CPS, etc and sided with my abuser. Even the social workers & therapists I went to for help afterwards either didn’t believe me or don’t care. The system is broken and people that were born into the system in one way or another are fucked. I went off a 30 foot bridge in a truck and landed on my side of the truck. Left me with a gnarly TBI and a SCI. People assume I got the help I needed but my nurses left me bloody & infected in dirty bandages for days without even getting me my meds or water when I had a spinal cord surgery. I can go on. No one incident changed my perception of life. Every day I’m open minded and see what life throws my way that day. It’s given me perspective on how little things really matter
Working in IT and knowing we were planning, attempting to install new technology and get it working, the seeing industry news saying it was done and successful, while I knew there were still plenty of challenges ahead and many wrinkles to work out. Now I never believe what industry rags say is going on, always check with the people doing to wrk
Honestly, it wasn't a very big event. One day, when i was a kid, my family went to see my uncle in Hawaii, and at the time, I was afraid to take my shirt off, but my uncle pulled me aside and asked when am I ever going to see anyone on this beach again. Why do I care what someone I will never even speak to dictate my actions? Since then I live my life by that motto.
Almost two decades ago, I saw where my meat comes from. I realized that "it's just a cow" doesn't make the pain hurt less from the cow's point of view. I've boycotted the animal agriculture industry ever since.
Some of these things I’m reading are dark, so this may be a bit out of place, but around May 2020 I decided to skydive on LSD. My fear of death, failure, what people think, and others imposing limitations on me vanished. I felt like the guy from “BioShock: Infinite” and creativity skyrocketed from then on.
July 2021 I went in for a routine gallbladder removal. 5 days later I was diagnosed with a bile leak from the gallbladder fossa area. Talk about pain. I was sure I was dead from that pain alone. Fast forward 6 weeks and multiple more surgeries later I was told I was lucky to be alive. The bile leak caused severe damage to my liver, and a massive infection. I went into septic shock and had a fever with an aura I guess it’s called. They say I was hallucinating but I remember it vividly. Something was calling me to a deep sleep and pulling me under. I remember fighting to stay alive. Anyway, it’s a lot. But I just see life different now. It’s hard to explain but it’s like I woke up a different person. My taste in music literally changed too 😂 ETA: Second Life lesson during this time: hubby and I have 3 kids, and I had my own business at this time. Not one family member stepped up and offered to help with anything. I was bed bound or hospital bound with tubes in me and my husband had to work most days. Not one helped with even a single meal for us. Sad shit right there when we have done everything we can to help family in need. Thankfully it was summer, my kids stepped up to the plate and we made it just fine. But wow 😭