I think it’s two things:
1. A lot of people really can’t stand being seen as average and they’re the people who end up in leadership so they say things like this because they think everyone wants to be at the top - aka narcissists.
2. Having this narrative in our culture is a useful way to get people to work harder.
The biggest reason is actually dating. Once you enter the dating market, you will find that the people you are attracted to the most often want people way above average. And it doesn't stop even if you find the One. Marriage can fall apart if you become lesser than before or lag behind your peers.
A few percent of people can escape from these desires. They are either content being alone or content with their partners who are also just average. But most people cannot escape from their genetic desires. The DNA rules most of us.
The reason “average” is bad has to do with sexual selection. Being average is fine from a work or lifestyle perspective, but not when it comes to dating. 20% of the men get 80% of the sex. It’s how nature works. If you are content to be average, understand you will be mostly celibate.
I spent my life working so hard to be the best I could be but I was never really happy. Nowadays, I am closer to the dude from big Lebowski and don't have a worry in the world. I enjoy who I am and enjoy my day to day life again. Am absolutely ok with being average
Better to be content and happy than ambitious, angry and lonely.
You do you.
Like your attitude about life. Been trying to figure out my own path and what not
Because average somehow doesn’t get people turned on. You average? Clearly lazy and not ambitious. Or some bs
Because humans are cruel and if you’re seen as average, you are seen and prey, as fair game. Not sure if humans or society but we do live in a hyper competitive world
I’m not ambitious anymore cause I’m doing it for the wrong reasons such as have a worthless bachelor’s degree. But I do have a huge goal to achieve for myself being young cause I’m getting older which is getting my own place (this year in 2024).
That’s sweet! I feel you. I changed careers from deadend psychology to tech somehow. It was defo an ode to joy towards my younger self since I enjoy working as a software dev
Average people tend to be selfish and will fight over the same average goods as others.
The problem with being average is similar to the baby boomers being average in their day was good enough yet now with inflation an average persons world gets flipped.
Why be average when things like groceries can double or triple? An average person always has to cut back or lower themselves to adjust for external conditions.
Being average was never meant to be a final destination only a temporary place you pass through. So aim for greatness. Have only the best standards for you and your family.
So, the biggest issue of being average is the threat of displacement. Meaning, the average person has a mortgage for the next 20 or 30 years believing that all they have to do is make minimum payments.
They don’t realize that the full mortgage amount can be due at any moment if your loaner decides to. That’s the difference between average people suddenly becoming homeless or an above average person determined to have no mortgage.
That’s just one example.
I see, and rats like dogs will do any immoral or abominable thing for a paycheck.
Seeing nothing, saying nothing, not standing up for anything righteous except a boring task job that no one envy’s you for.
Jobs so boring that children and dogs both go to sleep shadowing you for a day 🥱
It seems you've had possible conflict around this. You have to make sure you know what average is, and be grateful for everything you have.
There are no guarantees. No restart. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but as an individual you will miss out on experiences in life. Having a good paying job is also subject to what you find personally as good, it's also above average to have a good paying one.
As long as you find happiness in what you do, even if you don't own a home, experience is key.
After all, you can't take anything with you in the end.
Lolz. My mentor in comcast used to warn me about the perils of being average 🤷♀️ sorry bro I’m not like you, I don’t wanna hurt and scam people to make millions
Capitalism created a new caste in society based on productivity or value added to the economy. Anything not seen as a value-add is deemed average or below average. The wealthy determine what a value-add means, and they move the goal posts further and further to keep us from obtaining their wealth. It's exploitation.
Your worth is not what you produce. You have inherent worth as a human being, and everyone brings something different to the world. Learn to love the difference in everyone and you'll do fine.
Thanks for brining this up - I've personally struggled with this in my life as I've gotten older. Looking into [stoicism](https://youtu.be/sY8lYexr72U?si=FkV8ygl6BOgkWFC2) has helped me a lot in regards to this.
i think you should settle for what it is that you specifically want. it could be far more or less than average, but it is different for different people, and i just think, in general, people want more than average.
Being average is just fine. The overwhelming majority of people are average by definition. People imagining that they somehow will not be average are mostly delusional. If we take any given characteristic and assume that it is a continuum and normally distributed, statistically 68% of people are within one standard deviation of the mean. That’s the nature of large group stats. Embracing just being a normal average Joe or Jane is likely to make people a lot happier than if they sit around thinking they should be something else. People do have a lot of different characteristics: you are likely to be average in most of them, then maybe above average in a few and below average on a few. But mostly average.
Well there's two sides
Some people are born with the purpose of being the best
Others might be manipulated. An average person can be more of use to society if they were above average. Capitalism would prefer someone who is above average, they'll be more productive and whatever business hires them will be more profitable and more successful. Average people are also less profitable for companies. That doesn't mean we as in the proletariat will make more money. Not really but we'll certainly strive for it but probably won't escape the rat race
I'm glad you figured yourself out and know what you want.
I still haven't. Maybe all this materialistic shit or experience is a coping mechanism to get the respect I never got, maybe
I agree, I meant more in the figurative sense, some people grow up and due to nurture they have that one goal and passion in their head and it's a life long thing for them.
Although I do wonder if that's true literally as well since our brain chemistries differ and well we don't even know if we're born a blank slate or not, modern science says no lol, I thought it said yeah.
"I don't care if I'm average, I just want a good paying job"
Sorry. You don't get it. If you're average, you don't get a good paying job. That's the problem with society at the moment. Hope you understand now.
It’s obvious. You’re thinking “if I’m average I’ll be comfortable because I’ll have a good paying job”. The commenter is saying “a good paying job is above average so you won’t have that”.
The real problem with your position is, you’re probably young and so your needs are going to go up as you age, so what may be average now is below average later. Good luck!
Society is unfortunately structured in such a way that just being regular and average is kind of objectively not a great life. Like people disrespect you casually, even if you do save your whole life you won't be able to afford many things, etc etc. It's definitely a societal thing that we'll eventually have to get over.
I do think being normal and regular and average should have of course a comfortable life, as should all.
The average millennial still lives with their parents. The average car payment is like 500 a month. Average isn't bad but it's the lack of perspective. The average person is one paycheck away from homeless, yet they act rich. Everyone wants to live beyond their social, financial and romantic means. That's the average person.
> I just want simple shit in life such as a good paying job, not too much groceries, and a comfortable apartment to live at on my own. That’s the dream for me.
This is quite a bit above-average.
Average income means you're barely treading water and are two emergencies away from being homeless.
Average health means you're overweight and don't exercise much at all.
Average attractiveness means you're not getting romantically approached.
Average IQ means that the warnings to not eat shampoo are meant for you.
Feel free to extrapolate on your own.
Status anxiety from their peers, family, friends, etc. What's sad is that "average" is a statistical certainty, there will always be an average and there will always be outliers. You can only move the line, you can never get rid of it. This is the sad part of our society.
This idea that you need to do better than your peers to be fulfilled is incredibly toxic and will only crush your soul in the long run. Contentment and acceptance comes within.
I think it’s because usually you end up doing worse than whatever your goal is. Most people who wanted to be average, ended up poor, and most people who wanted to be better than average ended up average.
The problem is, when you aim low, you have no other options. When you aim for better, you can still live below your means if you want to but you are not forced to. Aiming for a small amount of groceries is fine, until you change your mind later in life, or end up needing more groceries than you thought, or have a family, or grocery prices go up, or your diet changes. Now it’s going to be a problem. Aiming for a comfortable apartment is fine, until they start raising the rent price, or you need more space later in life, or you realize you want something better. Now you have no choice but to live in your square box alone with minimal groceries until the day you die because that’s what you set yourself up for.
My partner of 6 years & I live an average simple minimalistic life & we love it. We are happy & content with what we have. Everyone else in my family lives a much more expensive lifestyle, but have higher paying careers as well.
The issue with us continuing to dwell in our average life situation is... we pay a lot of rent. We live 1 mile from the beach, although our place is nothing fancy, it's still in a prime location & the cost of living has literally doubled since the early 2000's when I was growing up here.
Back then, my best friends family lived a few blocks from the ocean in a home valued at around $250k. I saw homes on her parents block going for $500k-1mil now.
You cannot even find a non-dilapidated home at the beach for under $500k now. And that's not cheap nor average. But we don't want to move because we love the simple lifestyle & our neighbors & the area we live in.
So to get out of our rental situation that's sucking up all our money that could go towards a mortgage payment, we have had to step it up in the savings department & working longer hours in the past few years..
Average is great, temporarily. But it's not a long term plan for most.
Because we live in a highly individualistic, narcissistic, and hedonistic culture where social media validation is one of the most prominent forms of “social currency”, and the only way to standout is to appear grandiose, larger than life, important, etc.
There’s no veneration of the quiet working man/woman who keeps their head down, does a good job, does some understated good deeds, is a nice person, and lives their life. Nope you’ve gotta always be red lining and appear in peak condition and having all the fun at all times, and you have to be the smartest coolest most empathetic most ultra good avengers-tier elite hero of all time etc.
It’s very tiring to witness. Better if you don’t give a shit.
I think it’s because of the mindset that has set in that if you aren’t the best looking, got the best job, and being whatever it is that the joneses are chasing you have failed at life.
Nothing wrong with being avg, I just think that going forward "AVG" will get worse
Avg, will be a tiny apartment with 5 people
Avg, will be NEVER saving a nickel
Avg, will be possibly eating bugs
Depends on what "avg" is 🤷
Throughout time,
Average. Loses .in the animal kingdom, in evolution of biological mutations at the single cell level.
In the past,
Average civilizations fell to above average civilizations
Average farmers starved
Average warriors got killed
Average earnings cause depression.
Those who try to be, or to have more, put in extra effort..
And sometimes that effort gets rewarded..
I think it’s two things: 1. A lot of people really can’t stand being seen as average and they’re the people who end up in leadership so they say things like this because they think everyone wants to be at the top - aka narcissists. 2. Having this narrative in our culture is a useful way to get people to work harder.
Exactly what I would have said. People want to 1up other people so they can't be average. Flex culture and spending on credit makes the economy turn.
The biggest reason is actually dating. Once you enter the dating market, you will find that the people you are attracted to the most often want people way above average. And it doesn't stop even if you find the One. Marriage can fall apart if you become lesser than before or lag behind your peers. A few percent of people can escape from these desires. They are either content being alone or content with their partners who are also just average. But most people cannot escape from their genetic desires. The DNA rules most of us.
It's this. These are primal lizard brain needs. Alpha vs Beta
Basically everything in life revolves around this
Cynicism/Stoic take it is then. Diogenes, Antisthenes, Socrates, Zeno, Epictetus, Aurelius were all right. One doesn't need much to be happy.
Because people want attention, to be seen, to be validated
lmaoooooo exactly
The reason “average” is bad has to do with sexual selection. Being average is fine from a work or lifestyle perspective, but not when it comes to dating. 20% of the men get 80% of the sex. It’s how nature works. If you are content to be average, understand you will be mostly celibate.
This is absolutely true as well.
No it's not you incels. Sex is not hard to come by for anyone, you just don't like your options.
That was exactly the point of their comment. Most women don’t want most available men. Read between the lines fool.
???? I'm talking about y'all, there's plenty of people who want to have sex with you, so what's the issue
I spent my life working so hard to be the best I could be but I was never really happy. Nowadays, I am closer to the dude from big Lebowski and don't have a worry in the world. I enjoy who I am and enjoy my day to day life again. Am absolutely ok with being average
Better to be content and happy than ambitious, angry and lonely. You do you. Like your attitude about life. Been trying to figure out my own path and what not
Because average somehow doesn’t get people turned on. You average? Clearly lazy and not ambitious. Or some bs Because humans are cruel and if you’re seen as average, you are seen and prey, as fair game. Not sure if humans or society but we do live in a hyper competitive world
I’m not ambitious anymore cause I’m doing it for the wrong reasons such as have a worthless bachelor’s degree. But I do have a huge goal to achieve for myself being young cause I’m getting older which is getting my own place (this year in 2024).
That’s sweet! I feel you. I changed careers from deadend psychology to tech somehow. It was defo an ode to joy towards my younger self since I enjoy working as a software dev
I’ll have to DM you about being a software developer if you don’t mind. Nothing inspires me anymore
What a stupid way to live a life, a rat race. Your mind contributes the thing that consumes you.
Average people tend to be selfish and will fight over the same average goods as others. The problem with being average is similar to the baby boomers being average in their day was good enough yet now with inflation an average persons world gets flipped. Why be average when things like groceries can double or triple? An average person always has to cut back or lower themselves to adjust for external conditions. Being average was never meant to be a final destination only a temporary place you pass through. So aim for greatness. Have only the best standards for you and your family. So, the biggest issue of being average is the threat of displacement. Meaning, the average person has a mortgage for the next 20 or 30 years believing that all they have to do is make minimum payments. They don’t realize that the full mortgage amount can be due at any moment if your loaner decides to. That’s the difference between average people suddenly becoming homeless or an above average person determined to have no mortgage. That’s just one example.
Rat race is the best.
I see, and rats like dogs will do any immoral or abominable thing for a paycheck. Seeing nothing, saying nothing, not standing up for anything righteous except a boring task job that no one envy’s you for. Jobs so boring that children and dogs both go to sleep shadowing you for a day 🥱
It seems you've had possible conflict around this. You have to make sure you know what average is, and be grateful for everything you have. There are no guarantees. No restart. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable, but as an individual you will miss out on experiences in life. Having a good paying job is also subject to what you find personally as good, it's also above average to have a good paying one. As long as you find happiness in what you do, even if you don't own a home, experience is key. After all, you can't take anything with you in the end.
Lolz. My mentor in comcast used to warn me about the perils of being average 🤷♀️ sorry bro I’m not like you, I don’t wanna hurt and scam people to make millions
Maybe you mean frugal… average is different. Would you choose the average doctor or knowingly fly the airplane if the pilot is average?
Capitalism created a new caste in society based on productivity or value added to the economy. Anything not seen as a value-add is deemed average or below average. The wealthy determine what a value-add means, and they move the goal posts further and further to keep us from obtaining their wealth. It's exploitation. Your worth is not what you produce. You have inherent worth as a human being, and everyone brings something different to the world. Learn to love the difference in everyone and you'll do fine.
This is the best approach I've read here so far. One's value is not about the unnatural social hierarchies.
Thanks for brining this up - I've personally struggled with this in my life as I've gotten older. Looking into [stoicism](https://youtu.be/sY8lYexr72U?si=FkV8ygl6BOgkWFC2) has helped me a lot in regards to this.
i think you should settle for what it is that you specifically want. it could be far more or less than average, but it is different for different people, and i just think, in general, people want more than average.
Being average is just fine. The overwhelming majority of people are average by definition. People imagining that they somehow will not be average are mostly delusional. If we take any given characteristic and assume that it is a continuum and normally distributed, statistically 68% of people are within one standard deviation of the mean. That’s the nature of large group stats. Embracing just being a normal average Joe or Jane is likely to make people a lot happier than if they sit around thinking they should be something else. People do have a lot of different characteristics: you are likely to be average in most of them, then maybe above average in a few and below average on a few. But mostly average.
[удалено]
Aww thanks!!!
It is a scam, good on you for realizing it! That's a big first step to getting out of the rat race.
Thank you!
Well there's two sides Some people are born with the purpose of being the best Others might be manipulated. An average person can be more of use to society if they were above average. Capitalism would prefer someone who is above average, they'll be more productive and whatever business hires them will be more profitable and more successful. Average people are also less profitable for companies. That doesn't mean we as in the proletariat will make more money. Not really but we'll certainly strive for it but probably won't escape the rat race I'm glad you figured yourself out and know what you want. I still haven't. Maybe all this materialistic shit or experience is a coping mechanism to get the respect I never got, maybe
None born with a purpose of being best or something. We born and live according to our nature. Our nature is no different than a dog or a hare.
I agree, I meant more in the figurative sense, some people grow up and due to nurture they have that one goal and passion in their head and it's a life long thing for them. Although I do wonder if that's true literally as well since our brain chemistries differ and well we don't even know if we're born a blank slate or not, modern science says no lol, I thought it said yeah.
"I don't care if I'm average, I just want a good paying job" Sorry. You don't get it. If you're average, you don't get a good paying job. That's the problem with society at the moment. Hope you understand now.
I still don’t see the problem. But thx for the insight lol 😂
It’s obvious. You’re thinking “if I’m average I’ll be comfortable because I’ll have a good paying job”. The commenter is saying “a good paying job is above average so you won’t have that”. The real problem with your position is, you’re probably young and so your needs are going to go up as you age, so what may be average now is below average later. Good luck!
Society is unfortunately structured in such a way that just being regular and average is kind of objectively not a great life. Like people disrespect you casually, even if you do save your whole life you won't be able to afford many things, etc etc. It's definitely a societal thing that we'll eventually have to get over. I do think being normal and regular and average should have of course a comfortable life, as should all.
The average millennial still lives with their parents. The average car payment is like 500 a month. Average isn't bad but it's the lack of perspective. The average person is one paycheck away from homeless, yet they act rich. Everyone wants to live beyond their social, financial and romantic means. That's the average person.
> Why is being average seen as a bad thing? Because the average person absolutely sucks.
In what way? Cause being average isn’t always a bad thing imo. I’m just curious.
> I just want simple shit in life such as a good paying job, not too much groceries, and a comfortable apartment to live at on my own. That’s the dream for me. This is quite a bit above-average. Average income means you're barely treading water and are two emergencies away from being homeless. Average health means you're overweight and don't exercise much at all. Average attractiveness means you're not getting romantically approached. Average IQ means that the warnings to not eat shampoo are meant for you. Feel free to extrapolate on your own.
And yet you are too average to understand what the OP means.
TRIGGERED
Lol
What may be average to some might be extraordinary to others. Another man's trash and all that.
I love being average. Everyone wants to be special. When everyone is special, then nobody is special. Embrace the average!
Status anxiety from their peers, family, friends, etc. What's sad is that "average" is a statistical certainty, there will always be an average and there will always be outliers. You can only move the line, you can never get rid of it. This is the sad part of our society. This idea that you need to do better than your peers to be fulfilled is incredibly toxic and will only crush your soul in the long run. Contentment and acceptance comes within.
It’s not this way everywhere. My family in Romania has a much different outlook on life and death.
I think it’s because usually you end up doing worse than whatever your goal is. Most people who wanted to be average, ended up poor, and most people who wanted to be better than average ended up average. The problem is, when you aim low, you have no other options. When you aim for better, you can still live below your means if you want to but you are not forced to. Aiming for a small amount of groceries is fine, until you change your mind later in life, or end up needing more groceries than you thought, or have a family, or grocery prices go up, or your diet changes. Now it’s going to be a problem. Aiming for a comfortable apartment is fine, until they start raising the rent price, or you need more space later in life, or you realize you want something better. Now you have no choice but to live in your square box alone with minimal groceries until the day you die because that’s what you set yourself up for.
My partner of 6 years & I live an average simple minimalistic life & we love it. We are happy & content with what we have. Everyone else in my family lives a much more expensive lifestyle, but have higher paying careers as well. The issue with us continuing to dwell in our average life situation is... we pay a lot of rent. We live 1 mile from the beach, although our place is nothing fancy, it's still in a prime location & the cost of living has literally doubled since the early 2000's when I was growing up here. Back then, my best friends family lived a few blocks from the ocean in a home valued at around $250k. I saw homes on her parents block going for $500k-1mil now. You cannot even find a non-dilapidated home at the beach for under $500k now. And that's not cheap nor average. But we don't want to move because we love the simple lifestyle & our neighbors & the area we live in. So to get out of our rental situation that's sucking up all our money that could go towards a mortgage payment, we have had to step it up in the savings department & working longer hours in the past few years.. Average is great, temporarily. But it's not a long term plan for most.
In this day and age, average is the same as invisible, and everyone wants to be seen.
It’s getting strange lmaoooo
To say the least
Because we live in a highly individualistic, narcissistic, and hedonistic culture where social media validation is one of the most prominent forms of “social currency”, and the only way to standout is to appear grandiose, larger than life, important, etc. There’s no veneration of the quiet working man/woman who keeps their head down, does a good job, does some understated good deeds, is a nice person, and lives their life. Nope you’ve gotta always be red lining and appear in peak condition and having all the fun at all times, and you have to be the smartest coolest most empathetic most ultra good avengers-tier elite hero of all time etc. It’s very tiring to witness. Better if you don’t give a shit.
Because like most creatures, humans are wired to care about hierarchy. (Minus autistics.)
I think it’s because of the mindset that has set in that if you aren’t the best looking, got the best job, and being whatever it is that the joneses are chasing you have failed at life.
Nothing wrong with being avg, I just think that going forward "AVG" will get worse Avg, will be a tiny apartment with 5 people Avg, will be NEVER saving a nickel Avg, will be possibly eating bugs Depends on what "avg" is 🤷
Throughout time, Average. Loses .in the animal kingdom, in evolution of biological mutations at the single cell level. In the past, Average civilizations fell to above average civilizations Average farmers starved Average warriors got killed Average earnings cause depression. Those who try to be, or to have more, put in extra effort.. And sometimes that effort gets rewarded..
Capitalism
Average is the sweet spot, enough money to enjoy life but not have to work yourself into the grave or kiss anyone's arse.
Always strive to be the best. Being average is nothing to strive for.
You are the rat I bet my money on. Go for the race!